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French Government Denies Report Of "Several Ebola Cases"; Outbreak Accelerates At Fastest Pace Yet

Tyler Durden's picture


Last week we noted the 'exponential' nature of the cases (and deaths) from Ebola. This week, according to the latest death and case counts from the WHO - the trend has got exponential-er - with 69 new cases and 52 new deaths in the last 2 days. With health workers dying at a fast clip too, it is little surprise that rumors of an outbreak in France were quickly denied by the government. As FranceTV reports, Patrick Balkany, citing "reliable medical sources" claimed that that "several cases [Ebola] have been reported on the French territory." The Ministry of Health rapidly denied any cases of infection in France.


The trend of the outbreak just went even more parabolic...





As FranceTV reports (via Google Translate),

He cites "reliable medical sources" but does not specify which ones. In a statement published on its website, Patrick Balkany says that "several cases [Ebola] have been reported on the French territory. "


"So I asked the minister today, in a written question to be published in Official Journal in the coming days, kindly tell me how many cases with Ebola virus have so far been identified in France " , thus commend the deputy mayor of Levallois-Perret (Hauts-de- Seine).

Contacted by The Scan of Figaro , elected UMP confirmed his remarks. "The ministry was informed by my sources and it is still curious that we do not have response."


The Ministry of Health has also denied any cases of infection in France.

Charts: Ecologically Oriented blog


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Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:05 | 5078939 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

This won't interfere with tee time will it?

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:18 | 5078999 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Nothing has so far.

I think Barry and Moochelle need a few thousand ninas and ninos camping out on the lawn.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:30 | 5079051 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Ebola killing doctors in bunny suits,

blacks rioting in St Louis,

coup d'etat and then civil war in Ukraine,

war and then coup d'etat in Iraq,

NSA violating the Fourth Amendment,

Argentine sovereign default,

Fukushima pumping radiation in the Pacific,

epic drought in California,

airliners falling out of the sky in droves,

US Army General killed in the 13th year of American occupation of Afghanistan,

US State Dept pulls out of Libya,

Israel killing 100s of civilians in Gaza,

majority of American teens using drugs,

a majority of American adults in debt,

no toilet paper in Venezuela,


The trend is your friend.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:32 | 5079066 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

If I may condense HH"s post

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:35 | 5079085 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

What? No toilet paper? OMG where's the panic button?

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:48 | 5079160 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Just google "Bum Gun"...  You'll never go back to TP...

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:29 | 5079404 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Old trick... Use newspapers when out of TP.
And what a great way to provide Feedback.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:16 | 5079937 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Your ass will be dirtier afterwards given the content of the news...

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:36 | 5079094 MFL5591
MFL5591's picture

And the stock market went up! lol!!

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:55 | 5079205 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Ebola cures looting.

I shouldn't admit it, but I want to see who gets monkey hammered by this thing before I worry about treatment.


Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:19 | 5079125 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

so what's the problem?

(that's sarc btw)

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 23:55 | 5080505 BraveSirRobin
BraveSirRobin's picture
From the CDC web page updated on August 7. It says Ebola may be transmitted via "casual contact" with infected individuals. Oh, and they buried the definition of "casual contact" in a footnote that reads: 
1 Casual contact is defined as a) being within approximately 3 feet (1 meter) or within the room or care area for a prolonged period of time (e.g., healthcare personnel, household members) while not wearing recommended personal protective equipment (i.e., droplet and contact precautions–see Infection Prevention and Control Recommendations); or b) having direct brief contact (e.g., shaking hands) with an EVD case while not wearing recommended personal protective equipment (i.e., droplet and contact precautions–see Infection Prevention and Control Recommendations). At this time, brief interactions, such as walking by a person or moving through a hospital, do not constitute casual contact.

What they are saying here is that Ebola is airborne. Previously they said it could only be transmitted via direct contact with body fluids of infected people.  No need to panic... in fact nothing at all to see here at all. Move along, move along.
Tue, 08/12/2014 - 00:00 | 5080522 BraveSirRobin
BraveSirRobin's picture

Oh, and if you are wondering, by way of comparison, CDC defines casual contact for the flu as being within 6 feet of an infected person.

Have a nice day, it may be one of your last.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:46 | 5079156 Dane Bramage
Dane Bramage's picture

Pfff. that all you got?  :-/  (sad thing is, it actually is worse... many things to add to the list)

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:21 | 5079680 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Robin Williams is dead, probably suicide. Not that it matters, but I loved that sick fuck. That will go on my list of bad shit. He couldn't hang with it any longer.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:36 | 5079751 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

so he hung himself

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:50 | 5079817 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Ass-fix-i-ation as in he drowned in assholes.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:36 | 5080037 TuPhat
TuPhat's picture

I'm glad he's gone.  The bad news is that now they'll rerun all those awful movies he made.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:44 | 5079784 Kassandra
Kassandra's picture

Ya, I always thought he would be one of those who would stick around to see how it all turns out..and then make us laugh about it.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:56 | 5079839 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Got info on BacktoEden.


Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:13 | 5079928 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Gave it a try. Will check in and out this eve.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:43 | 5079781 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

It's over, truly  over.

Tue, 08/12/2014 - 01:26 | 5080666 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

It's just beginning if you thought you were going to live in boring times that get skipped over in history books.  There is a lot of interesting (even if horrible) stuff going to happen and we get to be on the field. 

Good Times Roll

Tue, 08/12/2014 - 01:24 | 5080661 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

That's just aweful.  No TP for Cornjulio? 

Tue, 08/12/2014 - 07:54 | 5081064 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

It's a fallen and broken world.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:18 | 5079001 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

from 10 deaths per day on day 100, to 20 deaths per day on day 130

number of deaths per day doubling in 30 days

that is no real problem, because in another 30 days we're only talking about, like, 40 deaths per day

which is not a big deal

and a month later, only 80 deaths per day

again, nothing to be concerned about

the exponential function society of america


Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:22 | 5079021 Anarchy 99
Anarchy 99's picture

actually if it doubles every 30 days we (humanity) have about 24 months left.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:28 | 5079045 knukles
knukles's picture

Party like there's no tomorrow!  Just in time for peak of Empire, no less!

Buy the fucking death

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:00 | 5079238 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Now that's the spirit, and don't worry about water.  Switch to bourbon and ginger like I did...,

oh ice.   Never mind.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 22:07 | 5080190 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Wrap your head around this one.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:27 | 5079047 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

I was sitting here waiting for someone to finally do the math.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:37 | 5079097 knukles
knukles's picture

cougs, you're more patient than me.  I'd done the math and was just waiting for it to get here.  yawn  cough  sneeze....


get it?   patient... hah ha ha ha

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:37 | 5079100 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I was going to help, but I ran out of fingers and toes on day one.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:02 | 5079253 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Trying to teach kids to count in a lepper colony can be a real bitch. Amazed there haven't been any Ebola jokes. What did the mayor do when his township was infected with Ebola? He saw red.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:04 | 5079280 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

A man returns from Africa feeling very ill. He visits his doctor, who immediately rushes the guy to the intensive care unit at the local hospital. The man wakes up to the ringing of a telephone and answers it. “We’ve received the results from your tests,” says the doctor on the other end of the line. “Bad news—you have Ebola.” “Oh, my God,” cries the man. “Doc! What am I going to do?” “Don’t worry. First, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizza, pancakes, and pita bread,” says the doctor. “Will that cure me?” “No, but it’s the only food we’ll be able to get under the door.”

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:25 | 5079697 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

what's the difference between Ebola and a $10.00 hooker? Ebola will finish you off.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:06 | 5079288 knukles
knukles's picture

OK, OK...

A man returns from Africa feeling very ill. He visits his doctor, who immediately rushes the guy to the intensive care unit at the local hospital. The man wakes up to the ringing of a telephone and answers it. “We’ve received the results from your tests,” says the doctor on the other end of the line. “Bad news—you have Ebola.” “Oh, my God,” cries the man. “Doc! What am I going to do?” “Don’t worry. First, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizza, pancakes, and pita bread,” says the doctor. “Will that cure me?” “No, but it’s the only food we’ll be able to get under the door.”


Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:08 | 5079303 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

"A man returns from Africa feeling very ill. He visits his doctor, who immediately rushes the guy to the intensive care unit at the local hospital." He does not wake up.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:30 | 5079406 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Not only he does not wake up but neither does the rest of the Brain Dead in the country.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:19 | 5079673 Enceladus
Enceladus's picture

Or : "A man returns from Africa feeling very ill. He visits his doctor, who immediately rushes the guy to the intensive care unit at the local hospital." He only wakes up long enough to pull out all of his Iv's etc. and urinate all over his care givers. I love that joke!

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:19 | 5079676 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Fuck that was funny, but I'm still trying to figure out why. Nearly spat my coffee over the keyboard. 

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:36 | 5079098 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Yeah but eventually it will become moar of an asymptotic function as it reaches its maximum infection rate due to thinning a finite population

So it's better to chart it as a geometric function on a logarithmic scale.

And propeller heads please chime in!


Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:40 | 5079113 knukles
knukles's picture

We're talkin' about mass death you you're rattling on about graphs?
The End of Days and we're talking what color Crayons to bring to the Pyres!

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:42 | 5079132 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture


And don't color outside the lines this time!

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:50 | 5079179 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Cornflower MUST be on the power point charts.  

So it can match my tie. 

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:03 | 5079583 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Geometric is appropriate. Except that nobody outside a physics classroom understands what a log scale is.

We need a new scale for public consumption that helps people understand how some mathematical functions simply scare the fuck out of experts who do understand a log scale.  I propose we standardize on a "WTF-OMG" scale for these sorts of things. The initial scale value is "zero" and there is only one other value on the scale, and that value is "Oh-my-fucking-god-why-me-why-do-i-have-to-die-Im-too-young-I-hate-you-God-you-uncaring-sadistic-sonofabitch-mommy-help-me". Everyone will understand that if the line ever leaves the zero-axis -- even a little -- it is the end of the mu'fucking world, niggaz.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:21 | 5079683 Enceladus
Enceladus's picture

Your assuming the numbers are accurate, which they are not. CDC says multiply all of them by a factor or 2X to 4X. for a more accurate idea of the numbers.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:40 | 5079769 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

Well then the question is at what population level does it asymptote?

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:26 | 5079995 g speed
g speed's picture

when survivors can only infect other survivors

Tue, 08/12/2014 - 16:44 | 5083755 Zoomorph
Zoomorph's picture

Yup. We'll have a vaccine long before this virus becomes substantial. The fact that numerous health care workers have contracted it, yet their families and friends haven't, shows that it's doesn't spread that easily after all.

Wake me up when the death toll hits a billion. Until then, this is nothing but another bogus scare/distraction like H1N1, SARS, and the rest before it.

OMG 20 african peasants are dying a day?! That's a drop in the bucket.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:40 | 5079121 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Hey, anarchy, the dollar doubles every day, and we are still alive.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:40 | 5079774 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

umm, nope, not doubling.  Try the reverse.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:51 | 5079181 trulz4lulz
trulz4lulz's picture

It would be even less than that once you take into consideration 6 degreees of seperation and the probability of exposure, yadda yadda. Went to the back fourty over the weekend and spruced up the camp site, you know, just in case.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 09:08 | 5086607 Leraconteur
Leraconteur's picture

Far fewer than 24 months.

If this doubles for another 3 or 4 months, the wheels will come off many institutions because everyone will know it is not contained.

The one million deaths per day is frightening, but everything will be a mess well before then. My guesstimate is between 1k and 16k deaths per day will cause a worldwide panic, financial meltdown, and societal collapse.

No trade, no flights to anywhere, checkpoints at all public locations to test for the virus (as if anyone will be going outside by that point), and so on.

There are just fewer than 1 million beds in all of the USA with no greater than 20% vacant at any one time. 1k more deaths per day would tax healthcare, 16k would put it down and that's assuming that the nurses, techs and doctors show up to work.

2 million people die each year in the USA. Increase that by 20%, 400k, 1,096 per day more, and people will notice and not in a good way.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:38 | 5079095 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

If it is a geometric progression it will go much faster than that.

This one worries me because of the number or health workers infected.

If they were suited up in protective gear yet got the virus it means it has mutated to a more infectious form - aerosolized in droplets of a sneeze, cough.

If that is the case, it would mean it can spread rapidly without physical contact - which would be very, very bad for the entire globe.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:47 | 5079123 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Beat me to it but I'm not sure how best to model infections in a population cognizant of it's mortality (that be us) versus an unaware population like birds or rodents, etc.

Then again I may well be wrong about it not spreading so quickly in humans as it would in other species because we don't know who is infectious until it's too late.



Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:06 | 5079284 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

Eb, what if those "protective suits" are defective? Sometimes there's a breakdown in quality control at these Big Coporations ... mmm ... ask GM, for example.

The surgeon down the block says one time his hospital received a batch of defective surgical gloves. The problem was spotted pretty quickly so no one was harmed, he said.

This might help explain why these people are contracting the virus despite wearing all that alleged "protection."

I would check the equipment ASAP.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:18 | 5079360 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Surgeons breech their gloves often. There are only 2 kinds of people who work in healthcare : those who have been stuck and those that will be stuck.

I admire those who do autopsies on Ebola victims ( if any, unless unwittingly) and on research animals in Ebola research. Truly made up of sterner stuff than I.


Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:32 | 5079423 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Thar ye be.


Maybe it is time to not work in the Health Care field, perchance?

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:02 | 5079575 Jena
Jena's picture

I suspect that more than a few are considering their options, if they are paying any attention.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:10 | 5079624 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

I do not blame them in the least.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:04 | 5079591 RobD
RobD's picture

Lou Dobbs had a doctor on just a few min ago that was recently over there and had some interesting news. He said that most of the health care workers that were infected, where infected at the start of the outbreak before the knew it was Ebola and therefore did not take the proper precautions. He also said that most of the remaining healthcare workers are staying home until more protective supplies are brought in. In other words there is no heath care being performed right now. Crazy.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:25 | 5079696 Enceladus
Enceladus's picture

Bull shit 2 weeks your dead. This started on December 6th.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 22:29 | 5080259 dizzyfingers
dizzyfingers's picture


"Bodily fluids".

Isn't saliva a bodily fluid?

Saliva IS aerosolized through coughing and sneezing; if it happens through colds and flu ("cover your cough or sneeze wity your arm" posters everywhere during flu season) then how can it NOT happen with ebola? How can any sane honest person deny it?

Not trying to promote panic, but people in high places making life and death decisions who are in denial regarding this could kill millions...

Tue, 08/12/2014 - 09:34 | 5081361 Leraconteur
Leraconteur's picture

This does not even have to go on for long before local hospitals are overwhelmed.

Month 4 is 80 deaths a day, that would overwhelm most local hospital vacant beds, triage, body disposal and such.

You get to month 6 and 320 per day and you get films like Contagion and societal breakdown.

It's at the point of what the data and see what happens.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:45 | 5079146 Cui Bono
Cui Bono's picture

Those numbers- 52 dead and 69 new cases are old- from Aug 9 at least.

The 961 dead number is from August 6th from data through the 4th (I think). WHO has 1013/1848 dead/cases up today using data up to August 9th.

Healthmap is still reporting 961/1779 dated today 8-11.

The overall totals are getting older and harder to find it seems.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:10 | 5079316 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

The official aug 11 update/count is for the dates aug 7-9...

...but their ability to accurately count cases is inversely proportional to the outbreak scale.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:26 | 5079700 Enceladus
Enceladus's picture

The numbers are old becuase nobodies counting anything any more. whole counties are sealed off. 

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:08 | 5079610 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Even viruses would like to be french

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:40 | 5080059 skynet_21
skynet_21's picture

If the MSM (Mass Supply of Misinformation) reports the truth, then they'll be accused of fear mongering.  If they don't report it, then they will be accused of conspiracy.  The truth is they are doing both. My guess is initially they will try fear-mongering and now that its actually becoming seriously out of control less and less will be reported by the MSM.

I have yet to see any professional try to explain why it is obviously so much more virulent.  People who don't understand math, will of course bring up a random statistic such as more people get hit with lightning per year than have died.  The truth is that doctors have already admitted that only one particle is enough to transmit the virus which has already proven to be transmitted through aerisol droplets.  Sawyers nurse never had direct contact with him.  Another women killed 5 people just by getting in a cab with them, and I doubt she stabbed them all with needles.

Given that no one is shutting down the borders/flights by now with some sort of quarentine, I have to assume that whoever is making decisions wants this to be a global pandemic.  I'm sure that African health care is bad, but I'd wager that US health care is even worse. between 210,000 and 440,000 patients each year who go to the hospital for care suffer some type of preventable harm that contributes to their death.  If anyone thinks the US can handle Ebola, consider that 14,000 Americans die from C diff bacteria which they most likey caught while visiting the doctor for something else.

In projecting the growth, sure it would take 2 years to infect the entire planet at this rate. Its clearly more virulent than the flu, and between 5 and 20% of people get the flu each year.  The difference is less than 1% of 1% actually die from the flu.  And if this becomes a pandemic, then health care will collapse and no one will be treated so mortality rates will rise.  But realistically I wonder how many infections would it take to cause a complete breakdown in society, when people are so scared they no longer go to work, or pay their taxes.  My guess is maybe just a few million.  I'm not sure the odds of this, but when random cases start showing up by patients who never travelled to West Africa, it will be a signal that we are well on the path.



Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:51 | 5080110 Axenolith
Axenolith's picture

 but when random cases start showing up by patients who never travelled to West Africa, it will be a signal that we are well on the path.

That's freakin' game over shit there.  I personally think only a 3-5% death rate would be enough to put most western countries in serious jeopardy of their survival, mainly for exactly what you stated, people will up and not work if it's loose.  The wild card is what sort of panic could ensue if there are cases that just "pop up" like that.

Tue, 08/12/2014 - 00:31 | 5080587 California Nigh...
California Nightmares's picture

But realistically I wonder how many infections would it take to cause a complete breakdown in society, when people are so scared they no longer go to work, or pay their taxes.  My guess is maybe just a few million. 


My guess is that it would not take "a few million". Maybe only a few dozen. 

It might depend on public perceptions of how transmissible ebola is. The government's bad habit of lying about nearly everything forces everyone to guess and assume the worst.

If hospital staff stop reporting for work and things seem to have gotten out of hand, soon workers in various critical occupations will play hooky, too. And soon, no police, no firemen,  no electricity,  no gasoline, no deisel, no water, no sewer....

The USA will explode into one big FERGUSON.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:06 | 5078942 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Phase I is over.  They can't keep the medics alive long enought to count the dead, much less treat anyone.

Short airlines, long flame throwers.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:16 | 5078994 edifice
edifice's picture

Who makes flamethrowers, anyway?

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:22 | 5079009 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

In a pinch, a can of deodorant or any aerosol, and a cigarette lighter will work. 

Please note the locations of children and pets BEFORE trying this at home.

One flaming cat running through the neighborhood, and the old ladies will gossip for months.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:24 | 5079030 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I have only seen one article about ebola in list from from Michael Snyder and none from Simon Black. This makes me think this could be the real deal. Once they are out with stuff 2x a week we will know it's blown over.

In other news Faber was out saying BTFD. It's amazing that ZH rips Gartman to pieces when Faber is the biggest shill out there.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:43 | 5079136 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Ummmmm.....never mind.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:51 | 5079107 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

WD-40 works very well.

In my crazy youth I flamed crickets in my room this way (tile floor).

I am fortunate it didn't blow up in my face and kill me or turn me into a walking pork rind.

p.s. - I used the 4" red extension tube on the nozzle.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:13 | 5079328 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

WD-40 is even more useful than duct tape, particularly in economical 1 gallon containers...

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:24 | 5079376 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

I am always amazed at the depth of knowledge and lunacy around here,

  but hell, sometimes you have to try shit out;)

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:37 | 5079761 Cui Bono
Cui Bono's picture

Actually wore it out as cologne one night clubbing.
Every guy laughed and not one girl knew what it was...
Did get several compliments from girls though......

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:35 | 5079438 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

The beauty of men. They go where us women fear to tread.

The best thing about working trauma for 8 years is the interesting things you guys do when bunch of you get drunk and dare each other. We always got to meet the dumbest one of the group ( who at that point was quite pissed off at his buddies and in a whole lot a hurt). My best stories came during that time.


Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:06 | 5079594 knukles
knukles's picture

We of "formerly of that persuasion" have a term for that behavior.
"Seemed like a good idea at the time"

As the Good Doctor once said; "Never do anything you wouldn't want to need to explain to the paramedics"

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:19 | 5079956 MonsterBox
MonsterBox's picture

"Watch this...Here, hold my beer."

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:46 | 5079494 Help Is Not Coming
Help Is Not Coming's picture

WD-40 makes a great flame especially if you can find the older style can that has the "innie" type top. Take off the cap, spray some WD-40 into the cap. Set the can down on the ground. Remove the nozzle and pin from the top and pour in the WD-40 from the cap into the recessed area of the nozzle top. Light the WD-40 with a lighter and get clear. Once the WD-40 burns down through the top you get something like this.

The eponymous company changed the design of their cans years ago to prevent them from exploding during house fires.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:37 | 5079444 buyingsterling
buyingsterling's picture

I went to college in San Antonio, and the crickets there come out in force every few years. I killed 200 with a flamecan in my dorm room in one day, and one morning after a rainstorm they were 4 inches deep on the lower walkways, and the air was thick with the smell of rotting flesh. We ate well for weeks.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:10 | 5079318 buttmint
buttmint's picture

DYI flamethrower......Approved for Zombie control!

Unhook your propane tank from your BBQ....

Head to Homey Dee or Lowe's and ask for a "weed burner." Or to the roofing section for a "hot-down-torch.' if you know your roofing, then you know about Brai or Rubberoid. This is a modified SBS roofing material, Great stuff, if you know what you are is called a "torch down" as opposed to a "hot mop" application. Totally different breeds of cats, but when it comes to Zombie control, who cares?

You can play around with the orifice jetting (use your motorbike skill set) and it is amazing what a tame weed burner or roofing torch can be turned into. You did not hear it hear on ZH.....move along, nothing to see here....

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:45 | 5079491 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Thanks. I will add that into my arsenal.


You do know how to fabricate makeshift land mines, right?


Here is a video on how to make a Frag Grenade. Now with that buried and a plunger connected to a Pressure Plate...well that modification will break the Glass.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:23 | 5079022 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Oddly enough, you can get one on Amazon...  Brilliant...


Mon, 08/11/2014 - 22:09 | 5080203 edifice
edifice's picture

Wow, that's pretty awesome...

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:52 | 5079186 Dane Bramage
Dane Bramage's picture

Usually used for weeding (hey, it's non-toxic!) but it's pure hell on yellowjacket's nests as well!  KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!  :-)


ETA: Keyser beat me to it.  I can vouch from personal experience, they do work great. 

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:11 | 5079319 boattrash
boattrash's picture

Just search flamethrower in Google Patents, there are many models. Disclaimer: Check all Local, State, and Federal law prior to any attempt to make one. (Me thinks it may be illegal these days). They are really simple, and safe devices, when you consider UELs & LELs

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:07 | 5079613 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

So are landmines illegal.


But when society breaks down you can have the parts separate...and ready to rapidly assemble. The parts are legal unless they can prove intent.


Hell most everything in your home can be used as a weapon.


Knowing how to do it does not prove intent. I know how to manufacture a lot of things which I refuse to manufacture...on moral grounds.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:59 | 5079854 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Landmines are ALWAYS illegal.    Shotgun shells, PVC pipe and penny nails are not. 

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:08 | 5079901 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Lithium Batteries, Water, and oh...I would use Automotive Starting Fluid rather than Axe not.


Of Course the Sheet Metal Screws and Lead Shot is in a canister above the charge, soaked in week old urine from an Ebola patient...Those are not illegal either...except that urine...


(Penny Nails??? Do you want to do carnage, or, not???)

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 23:39 | 5080484 boattrash
boattrash's picture

Tall Tom, Most likely. Our LEOs are in FULL Retard Mode, BakingSoda & Vinegar in plastic bottle are considered an "Explosive Device of FELONY proportions! FFS! Hell I guess they are when you buy them from the store, if they contain carbonated drinks.

I'm sure they treat dry ice, and foil & lye the same way. Hell, my buddies and I did all that before 3rd grade. Loved making Hydrogen Balloons. Guess we'd be called terrrorists today. Jeeeez

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:49 | 5079174 Flagit
Flagit's picture


They can't keep the medics alive long enough to count the dead,


And that's when it really sets off. With 9/11 we lost the wave of first responders. The second wave took a few years to develop respiratory diseases, ect.

With Ebola, it is wave after wave. If my neighbor knocked on my door and said "Hey, we gotta go burn these dead bodies to keep the rats from spreading Ebola.", I'm not sure what I would say. This isn't H1N1-SARS boogeyman type thing. This is a bonafide killer. Killed more men than Smallpox. Without people willing to step up and build some bonfires the virus will move unimpeded through the city, country, continent. If the medics are being exposed, and little clue as to the transmission method, other than just "airborne", leaves little chance of stopping it.

Lets say I had enough rice and beans to survive for 6 months with the intent of not leaving the house until its over. Im not sure how I will keep the light on and the gas flowing. That's assuming the utility companies manage to stay staffed. I could cook all my meals on the grill outside, but Im not exactly sure what 6 months of wood looks like. I also don't see any form of a break in property taxes happening anywhere while the population drops like flies. Although you could argue it could be a year or 2 before anyone comes looking for the money if enough people die.

Maybe its time to go read up on The Spanish Flu. Special thx to whoever told the story about their grandfather working in ambulance, who basically survived by using whiskey to wash up with and cover his mask. Just might be time to read up on how to make a Moonshine Still. No zombie runs to the liquor store.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:55 | 5079209 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Im not exactly sure what 6 months of wood looks like.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:09 | 5079310 Flagit
Flagit's picture

You sir, are a villian.


Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:57 | 5079223 Dane Bramage
Dane Bramage's picture

Switch to a raw foods diet = cooking solution solved .  Better 4 u anyways (all about the enzymes).  Potable water would be the primary issue.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:35 | 5079430 Flagit
Flagit's picture

Yea, I didn't even touch on the water issue.

I could fill up some garbage cans or plastic drums. I have watched some videos on making a dew catcher and a few on water purification. I guess the best thing you can do is not be dependant on someone else for your water.

Tue, 08/12/2014 - 07:32 | 5081030 HobbyFarmer
HobbyFarmer's picture

An interesting aside about raw foods can't get enough calories from your garden to stay alive.  I'm talking like 40 cups of green beans to equal 1600 calories.  Tomatoes are even lower in calories.  You could visit my farm and eat all the fresh, organic veggies your stomach could hold...and starve to death over time.

I grew 20 bushes of tomatoes this year and another 20 brocolli.  The amount of brocolli I ate would have provided me 1 day of physical labor on my hobby farm.  Crazy how few calories are in most vegetables.

You'll starve on a raw food diet.

You need grains for calories (or potatoes)...and for the most part, those will require some type of cooking.  YMMV.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:36 | 5079737 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

After Armegadden.

It was done by the History Channel on the very topic of a pandemic. Little cheesy but lots of great topics to consider. Also, if you are prepped as you can be for this, you are prepped for most stuff that will come along.

My preps are different from the family in this. The family is typical Joe, unprepared schmoe.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:52 | 5079825 Kassandra
Kassandra's picture

That was me and you're more than welcome. When we run out of masks..douse the bandana in whiskey..or whatever high proof liquor you have. And rinse the hands well. Strip down before you come in the house. Nothing wrong with a Vodka sponge bath. Nothing at all.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:00 | 5079855 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

That maam is alcohol abuse.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:18 | 5079952 Kassandra
Kassandra's picture

Indeed! ;}

Tue, 08/12/2014 - 12:15 | 5082195 Flagit
Flagit's picture

THX again for that. And from anyone else that chose to retain that potentially life saving information.

Back in the day people planted Victory Gardens. Tomorrow it could be a Victory Still.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:07 | 5079895 Axenolith
Axenolith's picture

The real unveiling of the bullshit will come if the deaths spike to ~125-150 in that type of time period by months end, or it has verified cases in western countries...

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:11 | 5078970 loregnum
loregnum's picture

Cool. Well you know if a government agency/person is denying it then it is surely true. Oh wait, that is just my kooky self saying something based on evidence and reality of the last 10+ years. I should instead have the hopium that known liars will be telling the truth to me since known liars should always be trusted.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:11 | 5078974 Cthonic
Cthonic's picture

Instantaneous infection rate (smoothed over three data releases) is now:

11 Aug 14 - 37/day

08 Aug 14 - 54/day

06 Aug 14 - 55/day

04 Aug 14 - 57/day

02 Aug 14 - 43/day

29 Jul 14 - 38/day

27 Jul 14 - 23/day

23 Jul 14 - 12/day

17 Jul 14 - 10/day

Morbidity: 55%

(Date above is day WHO statistics were posted, e.g 02 Aug is compiled data as of 30 Jul).

repost from stale thread

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:38 | 5079102 boattrash
boattrash's picture

 Here' a couple links as to the spreading of this (Vet. Study). First is summary, second is Full Version.


Pathology of Experimental Aerosol Zaire Ebolavirus Infection in Rhesus Macaques

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:12 | 5078981 Devotional
Devotional's picture

<-- Ebola = Hollande

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:13 | 5078983 Beowulf55
Beowulf55's picture

Curious twitter on Yahoo yesterday saying ebola in Atlanta..........then silence...........Zombies on the move?


Jeez.........The bullshit piled up so fast in (fill in the blank), you needed wings to stay above it

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:16 | 5078987 AC_Doctor
AC_Doctor's picture


To all banksters, politicians and lazy welfare fuks:  Eet mor Bush Meat!

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:17 | 5078998 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Can scuba gear keep medical personel alive?

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:25 | 5079032 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Bio-safety Level 4 (BSL4) gear is pretty much just that. It's thin tyvek fiber so you can't swim in it, but the use of a pressurized air flow and positive suit pressure is much the same.

Of course, nothing like that in Africa. People over there were just the walking dead all along.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:31 | 5079058 knukles
knukles's picture

Can buy Tyvek coveralls at well equipped gardening and pesticide outlets.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:49 | 5079173 Keyser
Keyser's picture

I'm going to get dipped in a vat of PlastiDip... That should do the trick... 

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:03 | 5079266 Dane Bramage
Dane Bramage's picture

Use some superhydraphobic dip, jic.  "Puke, blood, explosive diarhea?  They all just run right off!"

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:40 | 5079234 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture


Time for a short ZH lesson.

Budget Biosafety: A Cougar How-To

Tyvek chem suits are fine. They won't hold pressure but it's a small matter, they hold back liquids and are hard to slice and these are key. The real problem is covering the face and airways. You can use a simple full-face safety shield plus goggles or safetly glasses for good coverage, available where they sell goggles. I'd then wear a rain jacket with a hood over all. Respirators have to be industrial HEPA and offer a tight seal. A bulky industrial HEPA respirator would be tricky esp under a shield but they are readily had anywhere they sell industrial hygiene equipment. Latex or plastic gloves are sold by the 100-box at the hardware store where they sell stain. Grab some of that blue masking tape to wrap the tops of the gloves at the wrist. And wear double-gloves. And wear something on your feet you can take off and throw away before you leave the isolation area, small plastic garbage bags (doubled) and taped at the top with the Tyvex tucked in might be fine if the floor isn't abrasive, if it is then plan on throwing away shoes. Wear those cheap-o plastic flip-flops or bath sandals in that case. You just need to keep your feet off the actual floor. Oh and the floor should be covered too with Tyvek or really heavy painters tarp, to speed cleanup and reduce the afore-mentioned abrasion.

You could outfit for a reasonably high risk biological isolation unit for about $10 per person per insertion. The key is, you have to know how to get in and out of your gear, and need someone to help you, and everything worn is tossed (you can bleach wipe-down the shield and respirator with a 10% solution) and you never ever touch any fucking thing that had any risk of exposure. You peel your suit off from the back like an insect molting. Just cut if off with a scissors and then bleach the scissors. Back out of the suit (the back is the cleanest part) curl out of it and just drop it on the floor, someone else will pick it up when they have suited up to go in, and when they carry it in will stuff it into a 32 gal garbage can inside that leaves the iso unit only with the lid on, and then only when it has been wiped down on the outside the 10% bleach, and then only to be burned.

You gotta be crazy-assed paranoid in order to survive anything really nasty, but given that you certainly can survive it.

They weren't doing anything like this in Africa. Maybe gloves and a dust mask, and a throw-away paper gown that covered them in front.

Never had a fucking chance.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:29 | 5079712 Oliver Klozoff
Oliver Klozoff's picture

Very clever, thanks.

Should apply to radioactive fallout as well, except for gamma rays.

Myth #9

The main purpose of the fallout suits is to prevent the wearer from tracking the fallout into the shelter. The user simply takes the suit off at the door. If the person were to wear it on inside, it would defeat the purpose. There are some clean handling techniques that are beneficial to know and practice, but in a wartime situation there is so much of the stuff around that peacetime standards of exposure and cleanliness lose their meaning.

The gamma rays are another matter. They are very penetrating. No fallout or radiation suit is going to protect you from them. It requires much more dense matter to protect you than you could lift, let alone lug around. This is why one must remain in a shelter when there is intense radiation.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:31 | 5079721 radiobomb
radiobomb's picture

thanks c_w,     not yet paranoid enough to use this info, but if CDG paris airport has though-traffic that is declared infected, and we have a family member flying in next month then comming to stay, it could get really surreal to pick him up in that BSL4 combo & wear it for his entire stay !.... ffs.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 20:55 | 5079840 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Has more to do with a complete break-down in the healthcare system, as expected during a serious outbreak.

There is no treatment for ebola so not a lot of use in even going to a hospital. The patient MUST be isolated to prevent the spread of disease (everyone needs to get on this boat) and then you sit it out. You can offer the patient "supportive care" which means helping them drink fluids and take pain meds, change clothes, on and off the toilet, keep them clean. And you can try to stay with them for emotional comfort. You can do all that at home -- might even be the best place -- but you have to take proper care of yourself. If they survive then everyone else is also fine, no harm done.

You manage the situation. And you can do as well as a hospital in that regard.

Imagine a high school gym turned into an isolation ward. Everyone following procedures. Family members watching from a distance. Plastic sheeting everywhere, de-con areas with helpers, staff working together. Really sick people in one area apart from people only showing some symptoms. This would be nothing at all like the situation in Africa, and you could seriously control a spread and keep it to a few individuals. Their chances of survival go up with supportive care, and even if they die it is with dignity and nobody else has to get sick. Nobody has to panic. Nobody has ebola in their home and cannot go home again.

You have to manage it. You can't stop it but you can manage it. And that in a way is stopping it.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:11 | 5079915 phaedrus1952
phaedrus1952's picture

Good stuff, coug. Thanks for the input.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:13 | 5079925 Axenolith
Axenolith's picture

That might work in suburbia, but one of the projects I'm currently working is in one of the seedier zones of Stockton, CA and I just don't see herding a bunch of bridge troll tweakers and trailer park/public housing/section 8 lords into a freakin' school gymnasium...

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:25 | 5079983 himaroid
himaroid's picture

But would the initial panic of an outbreak push this fragile shitwagon over the cliff before it could be controlled.?.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:06 | 5079891 msmith9962
msmith9962's picture

May assemble the gear while it's available.  Better a year early than a minute late.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:55 | 5080134 BliptoP3
BliptoP3's picture

for head gear try a sandblasting hood, you can find these at your local tractor supply - or ebay for you city-slickers.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:44 | 5080076 Axenolith
Axenolith's picture

Tyvek is porous, it breathes, it's mainly for keeping off dusts and dirt.  If you want the good shit, you need Saranex coated Tyvek which is liquid impermiable.  It is also an order of magnitude hotter. I have worked in it in a full face respirator when it was 97 degrees out and the work cycle was about 30-45 minutes on and 20 off with suit unzipped and mask off.  I've been in hotter places working (looking for gold actually), but that takes the cake for pretty much most miserable conditions you can work in. 

I have a rubberized Level B Hazmat suit from work in the 90's.  I can't imagine what that sucker would be like if you had to use it without cooled supplied air, I guess I could use it to egress an impacted area, but it better be less than a mile or so walk if it's in the summer...

Of note to anyone considering using a respirator or supplied air system - Until one has had it hammered into them by a good instructor/rigorous training, nearly EVERYBODY will automatically rip off a respirator of any type if it becomes obstructed or restricted.  Make note of that if you plan on using one.  One of the engineers we used to work with would always test noobs on supplied air (with escape bottle) by crimping their hose.  almost all of them would rip that mask off before thinking to open that escape bottle, and he'd shout "you're dead!"

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:33 | 5079068 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Make the ER movie shots look kinda wierd tho. 

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:40 | 5079116 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Are you kidding? Take a look! Totally the stuff Hollywood story boards would use to sell producers scripts! This disease is HOT HOT HOT:

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 19:29 | 5079400 Urban Redneck
Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:03 | 5079878 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Yeah, the truth just isn't sexy a lot of the time.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 21:09 | 5079904 msmith9962
msmith9962's picture

LOL.  Ebola, total boner shrinker.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:19 | 5079007 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Pandemic is on

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:28 | 5079048 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Isn't that plague thing one of the signals for end times ? .... just curious.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:31 | 5079064 knukles
knukles's picture


Of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the white one was generally held to be pestilence (interpretations vary widely)

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:35 | 5079088 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Couldn't our politicians be interpreted as "Boobbonic" Plague? If that were the case then we could just check pestilence off without Ebola.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:41 | 5079124 knukles
knukles's picture

Now that is quality thinking!

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:54 | 5079200 ugmug
ugmug's picture

Unfortunately The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are not coming to take selfies.....

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:38 | 5079103 ugmug
ugmug's picture

If it goes from bad to worse Obama will crawl into a bomb shelter and finish his vacation on an indoor driving range. I'm sure it should be finished by now.....

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:24 | 5079029 flyonmywall
flyonmywall's picture

You know the world is fucked when the denials that something is going on start coming in....

Hope you got your things together, or finish up in a few days. It's gonna get really interesting really quick.


Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:25 | 5079031 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

zis is not impotant

what matters my legionaires is der facts on der mali afric grounds.

every wares we frenchie comes across zer black fuzzy woozies wes kill dem all deads.

as a tributes tu zer jewish runs french nay shuns.

ebola cannot infect a host who is fulls of  comte or roquerfort cheese is wes shall prevails

viva la viral ressitances

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:26 | 5079040 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

You sir are an artist and a shit.

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 18:33 | 5079074 knukles
knukles's picture


Unshaven underarm hair also prevents infection.

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