French Government Denies Report Of "Several Ebola Cases"; Outbreak Accelerates At Fastest Pace Yet

Tyler Durden's picture

Last week we noted the 'exponential' nature of the cases (and deaths) from Ebola. This week, according to the latest death and case counts from the WHO - the trend has got exponential-er - with 69 new cases and 52 new deaths in the last 2 days. With health workers dying at a fast clip too, it is little surprise that rumors of an outbreak in France were quickly denied by the government. As FranceTV reports, Patrick Balkany, citing "reliable medical sources" claimed that that "several cases [Ebola] have been reported on the French territory." The Ministry of Health rapidly denied any cases of infection in France.

 

The trend of the outbreak just went even more parabolic...

  • WHO SAYS 69 NEW EBOLA CASES REPORTED IN 4 NATIONS AUG. 7-9
    WHO SAYS 52 DEATHS FROM EBOLA REPORTED IN 4 NATIONS AUG. 7-9

Cases...

 

Deaths...

As FranceTV reports (via Google Translate),

He cites "reliable medical sources" but does not specify which ones. In a statement published on its website, Patrick Balkany says that "several cases [Ebola] have been reported on the French territory. "

 

"So I asked the minister today, in a written question to be published in Official Journal in the coming days, kindly tell me how many cases with Ebola virus have so far been identified in France " , thus commend the deputy mayor of Levallois-Perret (Hauts-de- Seine).

Contacted by The Scan of Figaro , elected UMP confirmed his remarks. "The ministry was informed by my sources and it is still curious that we do not have response."

 

The Ministry of Health has also denied any cases of infection in France.

Charts: Ecologically Oriented blog

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Stoploss's picture

This won't interfere with tee time will it?

kaiserhoff's picture

Nothing has so far.

I think Barry and Moochelle need a few thousand ninas and ninos camping out on the lawn.

hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Ebola killing doctors in bunny suits,

blacks rioting in St Louis,

coup d'etat and then civil war in Ukraine,

war and then coup d'etat in Iraq,

NSA violating the Fourth Amendment,

Argentine sovereign default,

Fukushima pumping radiation in the Pacific,

epic drought in California,

airliners falling out of the sky in droves,

US Army General killed in the 13th year of American occupation of Afghanistan,

US State Dept pulls out of Libya,

Israel killing 100s of civilians in Gaza,

majority of American teens using drugs,

a majority of American adults in debt,

no toilet paper in Venezuela,

etc.

The trend is your friend.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

What? No toilet paper? OMG where's the panic button?

Keyser's picture

Just google "Bum Gun"...  You'll never go back to TP...

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Old trick... Use newspapers when out of TP.
And what a great way to provide Feedback.

MsCreant's picture

Your ass will be dirtier afterwards given the content of the news...

MFL5591's picture

And the stock market went up! lol!!

kaiserhoff's picture

Ebola cures looting.

I shouldn't admit it, but I want to see who gets monkey hammered by this thing before I worry about treatment.

 

Frank N. Beans's picture

so what's the problem?

(that's sarc btw)

BraveSirRobin's picture
From the CDC web page updated on August 7. It says Ebola may be transmitted via "casual contact" with infected individuals. Oh, and they buried the definition of "casual contact" in a footnote that reads: 
1 Casual contact is defined as a) being within approximately 3 feet (1 meter) or within the room or care area for a prolonged period of time (e.g., healthcare personnel, household members) while not wearing recommended personal protective equipment (i.e., droplet and contact precautions–see Infection Prevention and Control Recommendations); or b) having direct brief contact (e.g., shaking hands) with an EVD case while not wearing recommended personal protective equipment (i.e., droplet and contact precautions–see Infection Prevention and Control Recommendations). At this time, brief interactions, such as walking by a person or moving through a hospital, do not constitute casual contact.

What they are saying here is that Ebola is airborne. Previously they said it could only be transmitted via direct contact with body fluids of infected people.  No need to panic... in fact nothing at all to see here at all. Move along, move along.
http://www.cdc.gov/vhf/ebola/hcp/case-definition.html
BraveSirRobin's picture

Oh, and if you are wondering, by way of comparison, CDC defines casual contact for the flu as being within 6 feet of an infected person.

Have a nice day, it may be one of your last.

Dane Bramage's picture

Pfff. that all you got?  :-/  (sad thing is, it actually is worse... many things to add to the list)

MsCreant's picture

Robin Williams is dead, probably suicide. Not that it matters, but I loved that sick fuck. That will go on my list of bad shit. He couldn't hang with it any longer.

MsCreant's picture

Ass-fix-i-ation as in he drowned in assholes.

TuPhat's picture

I'm glad he's gone.  The bad news is that now they'll rerun all those awful movies he made.

Kassandra's picture

Ya, I always thought he would be one of those who would stick around to see how it all turns out..and then make us laugh about it.

WillyGroper's picture

Got info on BacktoEden.

chat?

MsCreant's picture

Gave it a try. Will check in and out this eve.

TheReplacement's picture

It's just beginning if you thought you were going to live in boring times that get skipped over in history books.  There is a lot of interesting (even if horrible) stuff going to happen and we get to be on the field. 

Good Times Roll

TheReplacement's picture

That's just aweful.  No TP for Cornjulio? 

tarsubil's picture

It's a fallen and broken world.

SafelyGraze's picture

from 10 deaths per day on day 100, to 20 deaths per day on day 130

number of deaths per day doubling in 30 days

that is no real problem, because in another 30 days we're only talking about, like, 40 deaths per day

which is not a big deal

and a month later, only 80 deaths per day

again, nothing to be concerned about

hugs,
the exponential function society of america

 

Anarchy 99's picture

actually if it doubles every 30 days we (humanity) have about 24 months left.

knukles's picture

Solution?
Party like there's no tomorrow!  Just in time for peak of Empire, no less!
Booyah

BTFD!
Buy the fucking death

kaiserhoff's picture

Now that's the spirit, and don't worry about water.  Switch to bourbon and ginger like I did...,

oh ice.   Never mind.

cougar_w's picture

I was sitting here waiting for someone to finally do the math.

knukles's picture

cougs, you're more patient than me.  I'd done the math and was just waiting for it to get here.  yawn  cough  sneeze....

 

get it?   patient... hah ha ha ha

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I was going to help, but I ran out of fingers and toes on day one.

BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Trying to teach kids to count in a lepper colony can be a real bitch. Amazed there haven't been any Ebola jokes. What did the mayor do when his township was infected with Ebola? He saw red.

0b1knob's picture

A man returns from Africa feeling very ill. He visits his doctor, who immediately rushes the guy to the intensive care unit at the local hospital. The man wakes up to the ringing of a telephone and answers it. “We’ve received the results from your tests,” says the doctor on the other end of the line. “Bad news—you have Ebola.” “Oh, my God,” cries the man. “Doc! What am I going to do?” “Don’t worry. First, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizza, pancakes, and pita bread,” says the doctor. “Will that cure me?” “No, but it’s the only food we’ll be able to get under the door.”

BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

what's the difference between Ebola and a $10.00 hooker? Ebola will finish you off.

knukles's picture

OK, OK...

A man returns from Africa feeling very ill. He visits his doctor, who immediately rushes the guy to the intensive care unit at the local hospital. The man wakes up to the ringing of a telephone and answers it. “We’ve received the results from your tests,” says the doctor on the other end of the line. “Bad news—you have Ebola.” “Oh, my God,” cries the man. “Doc! What am I going to do?” “Don’t worry. First, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizza, pancakes, and pita bread,” says the doctor. “Will that cure me?” “No, but it’s the only food we’ll be able to get under the door.”

                -ebaumsworld

fonzannoon's picture

"A man returns from Africa feeling very ill. He visits his doctor, who immediately rushes the guy to the intensive care unit at the local hospital." He does not wake up.
 

Tall Tom's picture

Not only he does not wake up but neither does the rest of the Brain Dead in the country.

Enceladus's picture

Or : "A man returns from Africa feeling very ill. He visits his doctor, who immediately rushes the guy to the intensive care unit at the local hospital." He only wakes up long enough to pull out all of his Iv's etc. and urinate all over his care givers. I love that joke!

BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Fuck that was funny, but I'm still trying to figure out why. Nearly spat my coffee over the keyboard. 

Headbanger's picture

Yeah but eventually it will become moar of an asymptotic function as it reaches its maximum infection rate due to thinning a finite population

So it's better to chart it as a geometric function on a logarithmic scale.

And propeller heads please chime in!

 

knukles's picture

We're talkin' about mass death you you're rattling on about graphs?
The End of Days and we're talking what color Crayons to bring to the Pyres!
Jesus....

Headbanger's picture

Yep.

And don't color outside the lines this time!

SilverRhino's picture

Cornflower MUST be on the power point charts.  

So it can match my tie. 

cougar_w's picture

Geometric is appropriate. Except that nobody outside a physics classroom understands what a log scale is.

We need a new scale for public consumption that helps people understand how some mathematical functions simply scare the fuck out of experts who do understand a log scale.  I propose we standardize on a "WTF-OMG" scale for these sorts of things. The initial scale value is "zero" and there is only one other value on the scale, and that value is "Oh-my-fucking-god-why-me-why-do-i-have-to-die-Im-too-young-I-hate-you-God-you-uncaring-sadistic-sonofabitch-mommy-help-me". Everyone will understand that if the line ever leaves the zero-axis -- even a little -- it is the end of the mu'fucking world, niggaz.

Enceladus's picture

Your assuming the numbers are accurate, which they are not. CDC says multiply all of them by a factor or 2X to 4X. for a more accurate idea of the numbers.

thamnosma's picture

Well then the question is at what population level does it asymptote?

g speed's picture

when survivors can only infect other survivors