A "Frightened" Gartman On War And The "Vagaries Of Trading"

Tyler Durden's picture

The world is suddenly a very sad place: people killing people across the globe, deadly viral epidemics claiming over a thousand, hate crimes, human misery and drama at levels not seen in years. What is one to do to find a little precious humor? Why read this latest Dennis Gartman excerpt ahead of his daily CNBC appearance of course.

To wit:

The “War” fears on Friday that seemed so palpable and so serious were erased within hours and several of the positions we had had on and were frightened out of because of these war scares turned sharply back in what would have been our favour. Such are the vagaries of “war” and such are the vagaries of trading. We were “frightened” out of the short Brent/Long WTI trades; we were “frightened” out of the short positions in crude generally, and we were frightened out of the short Yen/long “English” speaking currency positions. We’ll return to the Yen related positions sooner rather than later; we’ll almost certainly return to the short Brent/long WTI spread sooner, too, rather than later, but for now we’ll bide our time, wounds licked and bound in the process.

The smile alone is worth the $29.95.

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SloMoe's picture
"A Frightened Gartman?"

BTFD homies....

power steering's picture

Ebola also frightened him out of his long fruit bat/short cassava hedge

gmrpeabody's picture

He must have dropped it on his foot...

Divided States of America's picture

Gartman is a shill extraordinaire, I mean this guy still gets coverage on cnbc week after week with atrocious calls. I am certain he wouldnt mind embarassing himself by literally shitting his pants on cnbc if he could make a few more bucks misleading sheepish clueless investors....

synergize's picture

I'm still thinking about that long fruit bat/short cassava trade.  Now, only if there were an ETF...

SuperRay's picture

Dennis, Dennis, haven't you learned yet?  You BUY when you're afraid and SELL when you're greedy...

BrosephStiglitz's picture

An enthusiastic producer snorts a Sheen-sized line of coke before addressing Dennis:

Hey.. G-dawg, babe, do you think you could soil yourself on TV to drive the fear home?  Our marketing team says it would be electric and our customer surveys corroborate.

D-Gart with a shit-eating grin:

I guess the only question now is...
pinstripe, or tweed..

PiratePiggy's picture

"It is always nice to be Sean"   - Dennis Gartman

Eireann go Brach's picture

Obama's next Treasury Secretary!

Itchy and Scratchy's picture

Fear+ Greed = Equity Markets!

gmrpeabody's picture

I never forget a face...,

but, have we met?

NOTaREALmerican's picture

Slow week so far.    Nothing new happening.    When's Vlad rolling the armored divisions?   

NoDebt's picture

You mean the heavily armored humanitarian missions?  Shortly.

drinkin koolaid's picture

I get "frightened" whenever Fartman gets long gold. I then know it's time to hedge my long gold position.

ebworthen's picture

Gartman is about to take the "Bearded Potato of the Year" award away from Krugman.

tenpanhandle's picture

I'm $eeing a new accesessory here for the Mr. Potato Head toy.

Kilgore Trout's picture

"favour"? He seriously said "favour"?

NoDebt's picture

When you charge 30 bucks a month for your newsletter, sometimes you have to church it up a little.

Take a guess how he spells potato.  

monopoly's picture

Does any one listen to this useless idiot?

Rainman's picture

Vagary really means truth and lies are at war with basic common sense. So what else is new ..?

DirkDiggler11's picture

Fartman is $$$$, just trade the opposite of what he reccomends. Thanks Dennis, you're out, I'm all in !!!

Whatta's picture

All those things...sounds like any other "normal" day here on planet Earth. If you can't eat it of eff it...KILL IT before it kills you first!

q99x2's picture

Baby sounds like he needs some trannies.

AC_Doctor's picture

That dick weasel Gartman need to eat more bush meat!

Implied Violins's picture

I think it's time to go loooonnngg on meat and bloody some assholes.

youngman's picture

For all that IS GOING ON...Gold and Silver are not doing anything...nothing..nada....forgotten relics...very strange...but then again the whole market right now is very strange...I got those tinglies on my back...just does not feel right

NDXTrader's picture

This was music to every market maker's ears

Yen Cross's picture

lol "Wounds licked and bound in the process." That salty old DOG Gartman can still reach his balls...

homebody's picture

Can't wait to see this idiot and many others piled up at the door like the impressive mountain of Chinese garbage when the sheeple whistle finally blows. 

Salsipuedes's picture

Yeah, that was pretty funny... I guess. Can he sing or dance?

harleyjohn45's picture

Gartman has never been right in his entire life, how does get any space in a column.

Gringo Viejo's picture

Humorous cocksucker. Almost as funny as Robin Williams.