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A 'Folksy' President Obama Reimagined (In 2 Cartoons)

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Accountability... Responsibility... and 'torturing a few folks'...

 

 

 

 

 

h/t Cagle and Tom Tomorrow

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Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:38 | 5088649 Mamzer Ben Zonah
Mamzer Ben Zonah's picture

A doctor from Israel says:   "In Israel the medicine is so advanced

that we cut off a man's testicles; we put them into another man,

and in  6  weeks he is looking for work."

 

The German doctor comments:   "That's nothing, in Germany we take part

of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person's head,

and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."

 

A Russian doctor says:  "That's nothing either. In Russia we take out

half of the heart from a person;  we put it into another person's chest,

and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."

 

The U.S. doctor answers immediately: "That's nothing my colleagues,

you  are way behind us....in the USA , about 3 years ago, we grabbed a

person from Kenya with no brains, no heart, and no balls....we made him

President of the United States ,

and now.......the whole  country is looking for work.

 

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:43 | 5088673 freddymercury
freddymercury's picture

Not bad

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:53 | 5088722 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, 

"I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with

black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"St Peter said, "That's a question

only God can answer."

 

So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked,

"God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with

white stripes?" God simply replied "You are what you are."

 

The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, "Well, did God

straighten out your query for you?"

 

The zebra looked puzzled. "No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.'"

St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, "Well then, there you are. You are white

with black stripes."

 

The zebra asked St. Peter, "How do you know that for certain?" "Because," said

St. Peter, "If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, "You is

what you is."

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:55 | 5088738 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

 

 

Droning, isn't that an Obama speech?

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 16:04 | 5088770 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Hey, what about JDAM'ing?

Let's get a shout out for all those ISIS folks that were JDAM'ed over the past week.

ISIS be folks too.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 16:10 | 5088813 Syrin
Syrin's picture

Where's Reggie Love?

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 17:46 | 5089311 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Doing the Down Low on Obama.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 18:44 | 5089499 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Someone needs to tell Obozo that he has Pottery Barn duty in Libya...

http://af.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idAFKBN0GD1D020140813

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 16:49 | 5089014 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

If zebra were black with white stripes it would've axed the question insted of asking.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:57 | 5088731 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

"We smoked a few churrin snoozing in their cribs. Ain't no thing. I ain't buggin!"" 

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:48 | 5088700 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

"Like a Monkey with a Hand Grenade!" 

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:53 | 5088729 Bioscale
Bioscale's picture

Or pidgeon shitting on chess board.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 19:48 | 5088947 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

What I got from the anecdote is that to run for office in this country one must surrender his balls to the Israelis.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 17:17 | 5089183 teslaberry
teslaberry's picture

 

you trouble making son of a bitch . this is definitley a typical israeli style of joke. bound to get a laugh. ......the power of humor. 

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:42 | 5088663 S.M.T.U.Q.I.
S.M.T.U.Q.I.'s picture

I hate Obozoma so much, but he is right torture is ok when you are fighting evil suicide killers that don't even believe in God.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:43 | 5088671 Two-bits
Two-bits's picture

How is Langley this time of year?

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 21:17 | 5090249 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

It might not know the answer. Ask it how the weather is in Haifa, instead. Hell, ask it how the weather is over in the NSA data center in Utah, or the GCHQ over in jolly olde England.

People who endorse torture are usually considered to be, um, (what's the word?) SADISTS. The SADISTS used to do the same shit to the women at the Salem Witch trials. they would tie their bodies to a pole on a fulcrum and drop them in to a lake. If they drowned, they were innocent, but if they lived, they were found guilty of witchcraft (and summarily executed by burning at the stake). Over here in 'Merkuh, we have refined both the name and the identity of those performing these heinous and unthinkable things. We like to say that the CIA used 'enhanced interrogation techniques'... sleep depravation, sensory overloads, thirst, starvation, waterboarding, humiliation, and the like (BUT, no 'wet work', see!).

On second thought, ask this CIA plant how the weather is in ALEXANDRIA, VIRGINIA.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:45 | 5088682 yrad
yrad's picture

Somehow, somewhere, you are totally missing the point.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:47 | 5088692 GoldenDonuts
GoldenDonuts's picture

Either you have standards of conduct, and rule of law or you do not.

 

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 16:45 | 5088987 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

I might lower my standards if I could watch  Geithner get waterboarded

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 20:26 | 5090075 photonsoflight
photonsoflight's picture

Have you read the news lately coming from DC? We have a lawless government that does whatever it wants without any consequences. Plan accordingly.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:52 | 5088719 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

IMO, "Enhanced Grammatical Interrogation" is OK when "Folks" don't know when to use Who or Whom instead of That.

In fact, I wish they did - given how these 'Folks' torture the English language.

p.s. Should I have used the Sarc tag?

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 16:07 | 5088787 Jack Sheet
Jack Sheet's picture

you have to parent to impact and protest the folks that couldn't write prepositions for 100$ each

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 22:14 | 5090463 Burticus
Burticus's picture

...or use proper capitalization and punctuation.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:54 | 5088732 Prideful Sinner
Prideful Sinner's picture

What does believing in god have to do with being tortured? So are you saying someone who is an atheist doesn't have the same rights as a Christian? That's pretty dumb sir. 

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 16:04 | 5088771 pods
pods's picture

I would take that one step further. 

Do not even the Muzzies have the same rights as us?

Many will loudly say NO as they do not have the constitution. But the constitution merely acknowledges the rights we as humans have by being human.

I see many posts exclaiming our rights, but most seem to lay them at the foot of our constitution, which is supremely dangerous.

pods

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 16:19 | 5088866 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

10000000000000000+

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 18:49 | 5089600 NemoDeNovo
NemoDeNovo's picture

Until we see ALL humans as human none of this will stop.  The minute you allow yourself to see another human as somehow lesser then you are, you have no problem exterminating that life without remorse.  Be warned that if you go down that path eventually it will come around to you too though.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 22:18 | 5090483 Burticus
Burticus's picture

Sure, until they come to murder and rob me because I don't live like they say.  Then they get carried away a few ounces of lead heavier and a few pints of blood lighter.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 17:18 | 5089181 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

Extremism in the defense of liberty is not a vice.

torture is too good for suicide bombers who target innocent civilians going about their lives.

Libertarianism is fine, but people have to fear the consequences of violating that sacred peace.

 

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 18:55 | 5089640 pods
pods's picture

Well Dave I can sort of agree with your first statement.

As for the rest of it, well fuck 3/4ths of the world could use that as justification for waging war on the US.  Must be you have forgot about our meddling in half the world's business?  From opium, to oil, all the way back to United Fruit continued up through all the supported dictators in SA.  WE have violated that sacred peace.

pods

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 17:21 | 5089194 teslaberry
teslaberry's picture

you and every other motherfucker on here miss the point of liberty. 

 

liberty isn't about treating the rest of the entire world under one standard. it is about holding western citlivization and at least american citizens to a higher standard. 

 

just because the u.s. government is stealing its citizens money to wage internetional wars of domination , doesn't mean you owe any ethical standards of care to the entire world population. 

are you fucking kidding me?

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 18:45 | 5089589 NemoDeNovo
NemoDeNovo's picture

Did you forget your </sarc> tag or are you just that ignorant?

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 18:49 | 5089603 pods
pods's picture

Excuse me?  Think, THEN drink.

I have an obligation to NOT initiate force on another.  Whether that is by my own hand or by those who (supposedly) represent me.  Whatever God they bow to or flag they salute, I am not allowed to initiate force. Period.

But thanks for trying to educate me. I guess I must have failed emotional thinking 101. (I fully understand that that is an oxymoron.)

pods

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 21:49 | 5090351 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Let me see if I understand what teslaberry is saying.

LIBERTY FOR ME; and whatever 'ME' decides to do is all right (even if it's indiscriminate slaughter, torture, hedgemony, enslavement, irradiating entire nations with D.U., overthrowing duly-elected governments around the world, interfering with economic activities, lying, cheating, and stealing; as long as it's not 'ME's nation getting the fucking shaft; because 'ME' has 'LIBERTY').

NO, I guess I don't understand the point of 'LIBERTY'. I'm just an ignorant plebe, aren't I?

Are you referring to the statement that 'all men are created equal; and are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; and that among those are the right to LIFE, LIBERTY, and the PERSUIT of HAPINESS?

You forgot about the 'ALL' word, here, 'teslaberry'.

A little 'empire-building' is all right with you, as long as it's SOMEONE ELSE that has to pay the price.

A little 'Queensryche' listening is called for:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSTct2FFamw

"just because the u.s. government is stealing its citizens money to wage internetional wars of domination , doesn't mean you owe any ethical standards of care to the entire world population."

Take the stick out of your eye before you try to pull the splinter from another's. You are correct in that the former Constitutional Republic (that went terminal in 1913 and ended in 1933) does not owe the world a living. NEITHER does the world owe IT anything.

" it is about holding western citlivization and at least american citizens to a higher standard."

AND, I suppose, the Iraqis and the Afghanis and the Lybians and the Iranians and the Syrians and the Jordanians and the Nicaraguans and the Sudanese and all the countless other nations whose populations have been decimated by endless years of U.S. taxpayer-sponsored overthrows and invasions in the past 60 years (or so) deserved what they got, because YOU have some 'higher standards' that THESE DEAD MILLIONS over the years just, well, can't 'live up to'.

FUCK your' higher standards' if you are so much of a COWARD as to not stand up and STOP the people doing this shit to the FORMER United States (and people everywhere), 'TESLABERRY'.

With LIBERTY comes RESPONSIBILITY. Lack of RESPONSIBILITY for your actions eradicates your so-called 'RIGHT' to 'LIBERTY'.

Obviously, you do not fathom the deeper meaning of this word that you bandy about so easily.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 22:00 | 5090417 The_Prisoner
The_Prisoner's picture

Hear, hear, Mr Scott.

Nowadays the "Elite" has given up the classical notion of Noblesse Oblige

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 20:32 | 5090100 photonsoflight
photonsoflight's picture

Can an atheist have God given rights? If there is no God then their rights are given by men and can be taken away by men. Logic is logic. Can't have it both ways.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 21:57 | 5090390 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

The statement is that 'all men have inalienable rights granted by their CREATOR'.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness'"

YES, atheists have these same rights. It is up to the atheist to determine who or what CREATED them. If they choose to believe that they are 'evolved' and such, that it is the EVOLUTION that gave them these rights, and if not, well then WHATEVER is allowing them to live has given them these unaleanable rights.

Your question (when couched in the original usage, terminology, and exact quotation) is therefore (logically) a NON-SEQUITOR.

YOU can't have it the way you want.

Are you one of the 'thousand points of light' that Poppy Bush, ex-CIA director, talked about?

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 22:22 | 5090500 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

"YES, atheists have these same rights. It is up to the atheist to determine who or what CREATED them. If they choose to believe that they are 'evolved' and such, that it is the EVOLUTION that gave them these rights, and if not, well then WHATEVER is allowing them to live has given them these unaleanable rights."

Well said.

"I AM THAT I AM" was never enough for the self aggrandizers except under their own conflicted contradictory conditions.  Many people only claim to believe in GOD to justify their assertions of superiority over someone or something else.

I'll take the noble savage over the self rightgeous ignoble nobility any day.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 15:56 | 5088735 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

George Bush is that you?

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 16:04 | 5088775 Surging Chaos
Surging Chaos's picture

ZH isn't exactly a neocon-friendly place you know...

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 18:09 | 5089420 Eirik Magnus Larssen
Eirik Magnus Larssen's picture

If it was, I would never have signed up to these message boards.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 20:34 | 5090106 photonsoflight
photonsoflight's picture

Neo-cons don't need friends. They only need wars to make blood money from.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 16:05 | 5088779 mr1963
mr1963's picture

You could ask yourself what's worse, a little waterboarding of some worthless f&*ks who are living in the 17th century and want you to as well, or killing them, their wives and children, their neighbors, and anyone else within a 1000 feet using a joystick, but hey, there's nothing worse than waterboarding now is there.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 16:44 | 5088980 BigJim
BigJim's picture

It's not either/or. The false confessions extracted by the former lead to the wholesale slaughter wrought by the latter.

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 17:19 | 5089187 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

you say that like its a bad thing

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 22:24 | 5090505 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

"It's not either/or. The false confessions extracted by the former lead to the wholesale slaughter wrought by the latter."

As if the former didn't expose the capacity and intent to do the latter.

Torture is the foreplay of genocide.

Thu, 08/14/2014 - 01:41 | 5090959 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

You do know that the torture was designed precisely to extract false confessions, don't you?

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 16:15 | 5088850 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

Obozoma? that's a new one, not funny or witty, Oh wait you're a paid gov't troll, hilarious! 

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 21:38 | 5090313 Aussiekiwi
Aussiekiwi's picture

I think you might find they do believe in God and pray to him 5 times a day, how about you? based upon religious observance you would have to agree they have God on their side, what a bitch aye, your fighting against God as well.

Torture never gets the truth only what you need to justify further killing, for example, if you had any balls and I put them in a vice I am quite sure that you would agree with me withing 30 minutes that you were a terrorist intent on destroying the world and that you eat small babies for breakfast.

I hope that gives you something to think about with your 'right to torture' and 'God argument.

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