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A 'Folksy' President Obama Reimagined (In 2 Cartoons)
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A doctor from Israel says: "In Israel the medicine is so advanced
that we cut off a man's testicles; we put them into another man,
and in 6 weeks he is looking for work."
The German doctor comments: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part
of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person's head,
and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."
A Russian doctor says: "That's nothing either. In Russia we take out
half of the heart from a person; we put it into another person's chest,
and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."
The U.S. doctor answers immediately: "That's nothing my colleagues,
you are way behind us....in the USA , about 3 years ago, we grabbed a
person from Kenya with no brains, no heart, and no balls....we made him
President of the United States ,
and now.......the whole country is looking for work.
Not bad
A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter,
"I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with
black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"St Peter said, "That's a question
only God can answer."
So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked,
"God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with
white stripes?" God simply replied "You are what you are."
The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, "Well, did God
straighten out your query for you?"
The zebra looked puzzled. "No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.'"
St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, "Well then, there you are. You are white
with black stripes."
The zebra asked St. Peter, "How do you know that for certain?" "Because," said
St. Peter, "If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, "You is
what you is."
Droning, isn't that an Obama speech?
Hey, what about JDAM'ing?
Let's get a shout out for all those ISIS folks that were JDAM'ed over the past week.
ISIS be folks too.
Where's Reggie Love?
Doing the Down Low on Obama.
Someone needs to tell Obozo that he has Pottery Barn duty in Libya...
http://af.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idAFKBN0GD1D020140813
If zebra were black with white stripes it would've axed the question insted of asking.
"We smoked a few churrin snoozing in their cribs. Ain't no thing. I ain't buggin!""
"Like a Monkey with a Hand Grenade!"
Or pidgeon shitting on chess board.
What I got from the anecdote is that to run for office in this country one must surrender his balls to the Israelis.
you trouble making son of a bitch . this is definitley a typical israeli style of joke. bound to get a laugh. ......the power of humor.
I hate Obozoma so much, but he is right torture is ok when you are fighting evil suicide killers that don't even believe in God.
How is Langley this time of year?
It might not know the answer. Ask it how the weather is in Haifa, instead. Hell, ask it how the weather is over in the NSA data center in Utah, or the GCHQ over in jolly olde England.
People who endorse torture are usually considered to be, um, (what's the word?) SADISTS. The SADISTS used to do the same shit to the women at the Salem Witch trials. they would tie their bodies to a pole on a fulcrum and drop them in to a lake. If they drowned, they were innocent, but if they lived, they were found guilty of witchcraft (and summarily executed by burning at the stake). Over here in 'Merkuh, we have refined both the name and the identity of those performing these heinous and unthinkable things. We like to say that the CIA used 'enhanced interrogation techniques'... sleep depravation, sensory overloads, thirst, starvation, waterboarding, humiliation, and the like (BUT, no 'wet work', see!).
On second thought, ask this CIA plant how the weather is in ALEXANDRIA, VIRGINIA.
Somehow, somewhere, you are totally missing the point.
Either you have standards of conduct, and rule of law or you do not.
I might lower my standards if I could watch Geithner get waterboarded
Have you read the news lately coming from DC? We have a lawless government that does whatever it wants without any consequences. Plan accordingly.
IMO, "Enhanced Grammatical Interrogation" is OK when "Folks" don't know when to use Who or Whom instead of That.
In fact, I wish they did - given how these 'Folks' torture the English language.
p.s. Should I have used the Sarc tag?
you have to parent to impact and protest the folks that couldn't write prepositions for 100$ each
...or use proper capitalization and punctuation.
What does believing in god have to do with being tortured? So are you saying someone who is an atheist doesn't have the same rights as a Christian? That's pretty dumb sir.
I would take that one step further.
Do not even the Muzzies have the same rights as us?
Many will loudly say NO as they do not have the constitution. But the constitution merely acknowledges the rights we as humans have by being human.
I see many posts exclaiming our rights, but most seem to lay them at the foot of our constitution, which is supremely dangerous.
pods
10000000000000000+
Until we see ALL humans as human none of this will stop. The minute you allow yourself to see another human as somehow lesser then you are, you have no problem exterminating that life without remorse. Be warned that if you go down that path eventually it will come around to you too though.
Sure, until they come to murder and rob me because I don't live like they say. Then they get carried away a few ounces of lead heavier and a few pints of blood lighter.
Extremism in the defense of liberty is not a vice.
torture is too good for suicide bombers who target innocent civilians going about their lives.
Libertarianism is fine, but people have to fear the consequences of violating that sacred peace.
Well Dave I can sort of agree with your first statement.
As for the rest of it, well fuck 3/4ths of the world could use that as justification for waging war on the US. Must be you have forgot about our meddling in half the world's business? From opium, to oil, all the way back to United Fruit continued up through all the supported dictators in SA. WE have violated that sacred peace.
pods
you and every other motherfucker on here miss the point of liberty.
liberty isn't about treating the rest of the entire world under one standard. it is about holding western citlivization and at least american citizens to a higher standard.
just because the u.s. government is stealing its citizens money to wage internetional wars of domination , doesn't mean you owe any ethical standards of care to the entire world population.
are you fucking kidding me?
Did you forget your </sarc> tag or are you just that ignorant?
Excuse me? Think, THEN drink.
I have an obligation to NOT initiate force on another. Whether that is by my own hand or by those who (supposedly) represent me. Whatever God they bow to or flag they salute, I am not allowed to initiate force. Period.
But thanks for trying to educate me. I guess I must have failed emotional thinking 101. (I fully understand that that is an oxymoron.)
pods
Let me see if I understand what teslaberry is saying.
LIBERTY FOR ME; and whatever 'ME' decides to do is all right (even if it's indiscriminate slaughter, torture, hedgemony, enslavement, irradiating entire nations with D.U., overthrowing duly-elected governments around the world, interfering with economic activities, lying, cheating, and stealing; as long as it's not 'ME's nation getting the fucking shaft; because 'ME' has 'LIBERTY').
NO, I guess I don't understand the point of 'LIBERTY'. I'm just an ignorant plebe, aren't I?
Are you referring to the statement that 'all men are created equal; and are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; and that among those are the right to LIFE, LIBERTY, and the PERSUIT of HAPINESS?
You forgot about the 'ALL' word, here, 'teslaberry'.
A little 'empire-building' is all right with you, as long as it's SOMEONE ELSE that has to pay the price.
A little 'Queensryche' listening is called for:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSTct2FFamw
"just because the u.s. government is stealing its citizens money to wage internetional wars of domination , doesn't mean you owe any ethical standards of care to the entire world population."
Take the stick out of your eye before you try to pull the splinter from another's. You are correct in that the former Constitutional Republic (that went terminal in 1913 and ended in 1933) does not owe the world a living. NEITHER does the world owe IT anything.
" it is about holding western citlivization and at least american citizens to a higher standard."
AND, I suppose, the Iraqis and the Afghanis and the Lybians and the Iranians and the Syrians and the Jordanians and the Nicaraguans and the Sudanese and all the countless other nations whose populations have been decimated by endless years of U.S. taxpayer-sponsored overthrows and invasions in the past 60 years (or so) deserved what they got, because YOU have some 'higher standards' that THESE DEAD MILLIONS over the years just, well, can't 'live up to'.
FUCK your' higher standards' if you are so much of a COWARD as to not stand up and STOP the people doing this shit to the FORMER United States (and people everywhere), 'TESLABERRY'.
With LIBERTY comes RESPONSIBILITY. Lack of RESPONSIBILITY for your actions eradicates your so-called 'RIGHT' to 'LIBERTY'.
Obviously, you do not fathom the deeper meaning of this word that you bandy about so easily.
Hear, hear, Mr Scott.
Nowadays the "Elite" has given up the classical notion of Noblesse Oblige
Can an atheist have God given rights? If there is no God then their rights are given by men and can be taken away by men. Logic is logic. Can't have it both ways.
The statement is that 'all men have inalienable rights granted by their CREATOR'.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness'"
YES, atheists have these same rights. It is up to the atheist to determine who or what CREATED them. If they choose to believe that they are 'evolved' and such, that it is the EVOLUTION that gave them these rights, and if not, well then WHATEVER is allowing them to live has given them these unaleanable rights.
Your question (when couched in the original usage, terminology, and exact quotation) is therefore (logically) a NON-SEQUITOR.
YOU can't have it the way you want.
Are you one of the 'thousand points of light' that Poppy Bush, ex-CIA director, talked about?
"YES, atheists have these same rights. It is up to the atheist to determine who or what CREATED them. If they choose to believe that they are 'evolved' and such, that it is the EVOLUTION that gave them these rights, and if not, well then WHATEVER is allowing them to live has given them these unaleanable rights."
Well said.
"I AM THAT I AM" was never enough for the self aggrandizers except under their own conflicted contradictory conditions. Many people only claim to believe in GOD to justify their assertions of superiority over someone or something else.
I'll take the noble savage over the self rightgeous ignoble nobility any day.
George Bush is that you?
ZH isn't exactly a neocon-friendly place you know...
If it was, I would never have signed up to these message boards.
Neo-cons don't need friends. They only need wars to make blood money from.
You could ask yourself what's worse, a little waterboarding of some worthless f&*ks who are living in the 17th century and want you to as well, or killing them, their wives and children, their neighbors, and anyone else within a 1000 feet using a joystick, but hey, there's nothing worse than waterboarding now is there.
It's not either/or. The false confessions extracted by the former lead to the wholesale slaughter wrought by the latter.
you say that like its a bad thing
"It's not either/or. The false confessions extracted by the former lead to the wholesale slaughter wrought by the latter."
As if the former didn't expose the capacity and intent to do the latter.
Torture is the foreplay of genocide.
You do know that the torture was designed precisely to extract false confessions, don't you?
Obozoma? that's a new one, not funny or witty, Oh wait you're a paid gov't troll, hilarious!
I think you might find they do believe in God and pray to him 5 times a day, how about you? based upon religious observance you would have to agree they have God on their side, what a bitch aye, your fighting against God as well.
Torture never gets the truth only what you need to justify further killing, for example, if you had any balls and I put them in a vice I am quite sure that you would agree with me withing 30 minutes that you were a terrorist intent on destroying the world and that you eat small babies for breakfast.
I hope that gives you something to think about with your 'right to torture' and 'God argument.
I'd like to torture some folks. Just to see what they knew, and when they knew it...
.... but most importantly, if they knew it!
Sorta like dunking witches. They drown, they were innocent. Works all the time.
does that work with cheatin' wives
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
My wife packed up the kid and dog and moved two-thousand miles away while I was at work.
I sure miss that dog.
tie them to a chair and play them audio recordings of ZH posts from "monetary metals" or "marc to market" for 3 hours at a stretch
You are one sick dude.
Perhaps some cher and barbera streisand music.
Unfortunately we, the American people, will not need to torture them and force them to admit to crimes they are not guilty of, as we know what crimes that they are guilty of—oath violations, treason, murder, theft…
An American citizen, not DC US subject.
In addition to the Four Rs, the American people should be compiling a list, call it the Crimes Against the American People Database (CAAP-DB)
A list of known pol, crat, functionaries (funcs) and bankster criminals in their sphere of influence. Oath violating and treasonous gun and badge thugs, corrupt pols and crats, thieving banksters, etc. should be placed on it. Their names, crimes and positions should be, at a minimum, kept for future reference and trial.
When the DC US finally collapses, these lists can then be used to root out the known criminals that will think that they can hide among their victims--no "Truth and Reconciliation" and no quarter.
Just for future reference. Will all the (R)etards and (D)umbasses who've been voting Red and Blue Team for the last 60+ years be punished too?
And, what about all the people who had Libertarian orgasms when Alan Greenspan was a great Libertarian and said the banks were self regulating?
If certain people had orgasams due to something Greenspan said that should be punishment enough.
Did Alan Greenspan deregulate the banks himself? Does he have that power? I'm confused please help me.
Sure he does, just like obama can give amnesty./sarc
That's gonna be one BIG deck of cards
He vacations less than Bush, golfs more than Bush, but otherwise sounds just like Bush.
Goebbels would be shocked and awed.
Eddie Bernays is madder than hell, giving propaganda a bad name
Looks a bit like http://beforeitsnews.com/contributor/upload/5385/images/backlashpng.jpg
Great picture of President Lance (secret chimp) superimposed over one of Putin! The owner Zbig is so proud of the little monkey from the "ivy leagues"
http://americanfreepress.net/?p=18503
A blast from the past! Thx for that- Lance Link: Secret Chimp, FTW!
Narcissist-in-Chief must now hear his own voice on MSM every single day. May he have a Robin Williams meltdown, but with significantly more pain over a much longer duration of time.
oh. poor robin williams. he was SOOOOO depressed. poor boy. he was so unloved and misunderstood. we never appreciated what a genius he was. we don't understand 'depression'. (i understand recession, but of course, we are not in one as a country :) the fed told us that).
yeah, well, you know what you fucker. i got over elvis, and i was just getting over michael jackson, and now this. i don't know what i'm going to do. it was so selfish of him to do this to all his fans. they NEED him.
and for the people that don't like my response. fuck you. when i saw 'asphixation' - i knew the stupid bastard had hung himself. what a stupid way to go. people around me told me 'no, can't be'. yeah, well what else? he wanted to be the center of attention, again.
did it. stole your silly little minds and thoughts. wasted your time and energy.
get on with your own life.
obama is different, he knows he is a joke. he is not going to hurt himself. robin williams thought he had 'something to say' to people (and nobody was listening correctly). hey robin - here it is - 'life is short, enjoy it and don't fuck with other people'. obama knows this. he's not depressed. he really is a total user.
p.s. -my rant not for the majority of people here at z.h. who are onto the deal. just my rant. can't do this on msn.com or yahoo. no apologies and no sarcasm.
It doesn't sound like you're lots of fun.
oh, i am very funny and a lot of fun. if i'm not such a miserable bastard that i don't hang myself, i'm not funny? if i point out to you, that you've been getting lied to in the media, t.v. film, less now, radio, newsprint by miserable bastards? i'm an upright guy. i call it like i see it, many times i wrong, and if i'm wrong, then it is wonderful because it means i can learn something.
the american people waste so much time with jerking off watching media, while media is a lie. as i said it is make believe.
i have no problem with gay people, but do you know what huge percent of the media is gay, and yet present themselves, men and women as straight and define for you what is desirable? think about the message and perverted message behind that.
ultimately - they are LYING to you, why? for their advantage. i do not respect that.
how many policitians are LYING to you, why? for their advantage. i do not respect that.
i fight it, to whatever small degree i can, without doing damage to myself and my very small community.
i'm an old man now, and i did many things and travelled and saw some varied things, which led me to conclude:
americans for the most part are very brain washed by the television, their lives revolve around it.
i can't tell you how many conversations i over hear, where people compare something that may have happened to them, to a t.v. serial episode.
'it was just like that time on seinfeld'. if you have the wit to understand me, and can observe and be objective, then you will realize how deeply ingrained the dependence on the unreality of t.v. is for these people to define what their own lives are.
now - i'm not saying it was any different at other times.
perhaps - at other times - many people would respond to relating a story or hearing a story by quoting a religious text.
'the lord works in mysterious way's' for example was a great way for some people to get out of having to have an opinion.
that's enough for today lad. i got this from z.h. yesterday - it is a gem!
'Putin allegedly said: Negotiating w obama is like playing chess with a pigeon. It knocks all the pieces over, craps all over the board and then struts around like it won.'
hope and change. god bless you. oh. and send bernake some money. he did the best he could for all of us, and his salary was relatively low compared to the people on wall street he bailed out.
at the moment - as far as i can bernake and yellen are humanities greatest threats. (and the un-named at MIC)
Tom Tomorrow = +1000
I think I deserve some restitutions...I've been tortured on a daily basis for over (6) years having to watch and listen to Zero on the T.V. 24/7/365.
"This Modern World"? !!! That's nothing but left-wing hippy pinko commy propaganda made by someone who hates Merica, and the troops!
I ain't never seen him draw no slow motion eagle. Tells me all I need to know.
you forgot the /sarc... i hope?
if not - he was making fun of Operation Iraqi Freedom when asshats like you still thought it was a great idea...4,000 dead "troops" later - who got it right?
Love it or leave it, hippy! And get a goddamn hair cut!
Impeach the president of Washington D.C. and then prosecute him.
Impeach the president of Washington D.C. and then prosecute him.
Impeach the president of Washington D.C. and then prosecute him. Because if we don't there may be nothing left of the United States "literally"...
Fixed it for ya!
What else would you expect from a House Nigger
You know he ain't no broke
We droned some folks too.
That's just a stick used before we give them a carrot to win their hearts-n-minds.
Most peasants understand why the master uses the stick.
Said Obama to Reggie in an undisclosed bathhouse location.
as he gave Reggie a good rogering
Tom Tomorrow (Dan Perkins) lives off his cartooning. Did you get permission before lifting this weeks comic?
Has anyone else noticed that Obama is now dropping the 'g' in every single word ending in 'ing'.
Somebody must have told him that it makes him more folksy. A true man of the people. Fuckin' moron.
channeling his inner What's Happenin' persona? I like when he shortens "You know" into "Yo" very presidential
Living here in S.F., I can tell you Tom Tomorrow has been a mainstay in the left-wing weeklies for many years. I am very pleased to see that they have seen the light. There has been zero substantive criticism of their Messiah. This is literally the first I have seen.
It is pretty cool, 'n' shit, where "waterboarding" that leaves no marks upon the body and that leaves no permanent scarz upon the individual gets to b considered "torture".
Bernays, in its grave, smiles.
Pilotz 'n' bug-eaters get to experience this in training. No one dies.
In the ROE, it has become obvious that it is better to ace the bad guy than to bring them in. Way too much work after that.
Dang.
- Ned
obozo = benedict arnold
'cept old B saved the revolution twice before he went towards the Britz. - Ned
Ffolkes!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081809/
Funny
OMG! What a disengenuous SOB! Not to mention dangerous as hell! Get rid of dumbocrats, rethuglicans, the T party, BIS, Feral Reserve, TBTF, CIA, FBI, MI6, Mossad, OPEC, OECD (plunge protection team), World Bank and any other "agency" or bureau you wanna throw into the alphabet soup. Oh, I left out the Supremes. And CONgress.