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Germany Tapped Hillary Clinton: "It Was Unintentional"

Tyler Durden's picture


About a year after it was first revealed that the US had spied not only on Angela Merkel but on virtually every German citizen, in a remarkable NSA-CIA tag-team joint venture, many were wondering why Germany is taking things so calmly (aside, of course, for the whole "Fed may need to bail out Deutsche Bank at any moment" bit). Turns out the answer is that Germany was doing the same all along and as the German press reveals today, the German Federal Intelligence Service (BND) has tapped at least one phone call of then Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton.

According to "Süddeutsche Zeitung", NDR and WDR, Clinton's phone call was intercepted while she was on a US government plane.

The good news for the US - which until this point has been embarrassed by one after another Snowden-facilitated revelation of its worldwide spying escapade which has led to a complete collapse in Chinese sales for tech and telecom companies -  is that is finally has a reason to "ask questions" and as NDR reports, John Kerry is said to have confronted the German Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier with this matter. Denis McDonough, US President Barack Obama's Chief of Staff is alleged to have addressed the wiretapping when visiting the German Chancellery Minister Peter Altmaier.

But German government sources deny systematic spying on the USA by the BND. Instead, Germany is using the tried excuse that the phone call made by Clinton "was intercepted unintentionally." The fact that the recording wasn't deleted immediately was called "idiocy" by a member of the government in Berlin. However, Clinton is supposedly not the only one: apparently, phone calls by US politicians and from other friendly nations have been repeatedly recorded and submitted to the respective BND President as instructed.

The excuses get better: according to government sources, it has never been intentional eavesdropping. So... accidental tapping of phones?

As Reuters adds, the spy dispute was revived in July when Germany's Federal Prosecutor arrested Markus R., a 31-year old employee of Germany's foreign intelligence agency (BND), on suspicion of spying for the Americans.

Details of the German recording of Clinton's conversation were included in documents that Markus R. had passed on to Washington, said the German media reports, without citing a source for that information.


The newspaper and the radio stations said a joint investigation had discovered the documents also showed Germany's government had ordered the BND to spy on a NATO partner state, without naming the country.

The irony here is that if Germany had been spying on the US, then the NSA - which has a vastly superior spying infrastructure - was well aware of it. But what is even worse is the subtext of what Merkel said in an interview last month, when she said that the United States and Germany had fundamentally different conceptions of the role of the intelligence service, and she stressed the Cold War was over.

Apparently, it isn't. In fact, what these ongoing revelations show is that in the "developed world" block, distrust and espionage is as bad as it was during the height of the cold war. Which then begs the question: why?  After all, if the two nations' interest were indeed as closely aligned as the media would like Joe Sixpack to believe, none of this would be necessary. Just who is nervous of what in this closest of relationships between the US and its "biggest European ally?" And will Putin be, again, the winner in this escalating spat at the heart of the Western alliance.


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Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:28 | 5099525 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

At this point, what difference does it make?

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:33 | 5099545 knukles
knukles's picture

It don't...
Unless you want that torrid call with "Mrs (Latex) Weiner" to be aired

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:34 | 5099555 ACP
ACP's picture

Wow, who else but Germany would want to tap that?

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:40 | 5099594 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Yea and what did they do, bug her hotel room, and who's going to translate that ladys dysfunction anyhoos.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:45 | 5099626 pods
pods's picture

"Oh yeah, and you want me to put this big cock on and make you feel like a real woman, don't ya?!?!"

That explains the vast amount of traffic to Eyebleach out of Germany a while back.


Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:05 | 5099734 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

It would take a brave (and horny) German to tap that.   I thing the headline should be that they TAPED or BUGGED Hillary just to avoid any confusion.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:12 | 5099747 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

After these lesbian encounters, the Germans wanted to find the truth


Hillary & Natalie Portman:

Hillary & Aguilera:


At least Hillary and I agree on one thing -- well two things.


Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:26 | 5099807 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

they only collected metadata


Fri, 08/15/2014 - 20:33 | 5100504 msmith9962
msmith9962's picture

the never metadata they didn't like.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 23:45 | 5101053 California Nigh...
California Nightmares's picture

Geez. How can the Germans even stand to listen to her? 

Sat, 08/16/2014 - 02:36 | 5101307 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

"There is nuthin uglier than an old white woman."  Fred Sanford

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:57 | 5099694 john39
john39's picture

yeah, just picture merkel tapping hillary...  a new kind of porn, torture porn, but in the case its the viewer getting the torture.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:31 | 5099825 Implied Violins
Implied Violins's picture

Yick...I'm imagining a giant, sucking sound. And it ain't pretty...

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 18:08 | 5099959 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Mature lesbian hippie bondage.  That's the right genre.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 19:15 | 5100185 Let them eat iPads
Let them eat iPads's picture

Worse than those German pooping videos.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:01 | 5099712 reTARD
reTARD's picture

LOL, I was thinking the exact same thing. It's got to be either Merkel or Lagarde who would "tap" Hitlery. Of the three of them, I don't know who's the Mr. and who's the Mrs.?

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:03 | 5099722 knukles
knukles's picture

Son pointed out to me over dinner last night (guy's note out) that foreign porn is odd with the "oui", "si" and "ya"s much inferior to the English "yes"es.
Maybe for the sound effects?
I used to read Hustler in the grocery checkout line for the editorials.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:32 | 5099824 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Sounds perfectly normal in person (unless it's coming out in something other than her or his mother tongue...)

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:34 | 5099563 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

This is a vast right-wing conspiracy.


Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:51 | 5099667 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Don't you mean a vast 'reich'-wing conspiracy?

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:35 | 5099561 Relentless101
Relentless101's picture

It makes a big difference. I know I wouldn't want anyone else to know I nailed that monster intentionally. We were drunk... yada yada... deny deny deny.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:36 | 5099570 Keltner Channel Surf
Keltner Channel Surf's picture

Yeah, it seems when Bush massaged Merkel's shoulders, he implanted a microscopic listening device.  All square now.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:38 | 5099584 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

I wish there was a word (preferably German) to describe the pleasure I feel at viewing misfortune.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:41 | 5099602 Inquisitor
Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:41 | 5099604 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

I know! I know!

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:47 | 5099641 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture


Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:26 | 5099810 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Merkel: "Vee viretapt some fuks."


Sat, 08/16/2014 - 02:32 | 5101303 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

"There ain't nuthin uglier than an old white woman."  Fred Sanford

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:01 | 5099534 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Germany is an occupied country.  Why should it not spy on its occupiers who have no intention of ever leaving? Merkel has been spied on since 2002 and, with high probability, is owned by the NSA.

the Allies liquidated the legitimate government of the Reich, arrested the leaders, took over, divided, occupied and plundered Germany. They stole all remaining assets, and our culture, and then imposed their own, both in the FRG and GDR.   In the West,  SHAEF erected a bogus state (a legal fiction). They wrote and imposed the “Basic Law” (not a constitution), and in spite of the so-called “reunification” in 1990, that law remains in effect today, as an entirely foreign construct. There is no “Made in Germany” constitution. That means …. Germany is still an occupied and foreign controlled country!

The present FRG government is a FRAUD, because it was NOT created by and for the German people, and has NO constitution!

Good luck getting your gold back from your occupiers.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:32 | 5099538 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Wonder if the Krauts took any secret pics of Billary in the buff ... that'd be a hoot.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:07 | 5099726 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Those pics would be more effective than condoms in preventing pregnancies - the anti-viagra.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:31 | 5099540 Grifter
Grifter's picture

*Swats Tyler on nose with a rolled up newspaper*  Bad Tyler, I never want to see "tapped" and "Hillary Clinton" in the same sentence again.  Friggin nightmares for a week now...

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:39 | 5099852 Agent P
Agent P's picture

If I tapped Hilary Clinton, I would say it was unintentional too! 

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:32 | 5099541 stinkhammer
stinkhammer's picture


Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:32 | 5099542 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Why would anyone want to tap that cunt?

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:33 | 5099550 knukles
knukles's picture


Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:35 | 5099557 Duffy
Duffy's picture

Because you could say you fucked hillary clinton.

imagine the free drinks for talking about it.


I presume you need to use ky at this stage...

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:37 | 5099578 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

There's something about devouring the male after mating that I can't quite recall...

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:30 | 5099818 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Poor Web Hubbel!

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:43 | 5099617 negative rates
negative rates's picture

You know if you bang your against the floor too many times when yer sleepin, it can greatly shorten your life. Just been proved.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:28 | 5099814 Implied Violins
Implied Violins's picture


No Vaseline in THAT sand...

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:40 | 5099599 Uncle Remus
Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:50 | 5099653 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Whale oil.

Oh sorry, shale oil.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 19:21 | 5100199 all-priced-in
all-priced-in's picture

"Why would anyone want to tap that cunt?"


In your best Star Trek voice ----



To boldly go where no man has gone before.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 19:25 | 5100227 all-priced-in
all-priced-in's picture


In your best Alex Trebek voice -


What is -- "Why would anyone want to tap that cunt?"



What Barack Obama says every night before bed.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:35 | 5099559 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Check's in the mail.

It's only a cold sore.

It's a temporary tax.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:35 | 5099564 NOTaREALmerican
Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:44 | 5099612 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Anything you can do I can do better.  I can do anything better than you...

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:45 | 5099627 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Well you made the wine, so now drink a cup.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:35 | 5099565 Callz d Ballz
Callz d Ballz's picture

One kackle brought their entire spying apparatus down.


Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:36 | 5099574 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Pot meet kettle but we knew that already. Unintentional my ass. Old Stasi's don't fade away........


Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:39 | 5099575 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

dried up kraut lesbian snoops on another dried up yanki murdering lesbian

big deal more bullshit

any news in the report about the hundreds of israeli spy networks or the mini nukes in israels embassies all over the world?

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:45 | 5099628 Duffy
Duffy's picture

surely someone who reads ZH can borrow or steal a geiger counter and walk by the Israeli consulate...

I'd worry about Chicago, TW.  I think you can guess why.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 18:23 | 5099992 piratepiet
piratepiet's picture



Your purpose really seems to be to make us all fearful of the jews and Israel. 

Trying to deceive us  

You wish Tony ?

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:37 | 5099583 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

If anybody needs to be spied upon, its that lady.  She is very dangerous.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:48 | 5099647 Duffy
Duffy's picture

Zion's choice.  Third Temple Lady.  And still not much worse than the alternatives.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:41 | 5099601 Chewybunny
Chewybunny's picture

Leave to the Germans to be able to tap Hillay Clinton if you know what I mean.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:47 | 5099640 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

I think maybe only the Japanese top the Germans on that one.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:48 | 5099643 Duffy
Duffy's picture

Chewbunny, you'd tell us if your mom was in a German shiza film, wouldn't you?

Here's a theory - the two peoples with the most fucke dup porn in the world are the Krauts and Japs.


I mean, shit porn is the grossest shit you've seen... until you see what the Nips do with octopuses.  ..   octopi??? 

fuck it.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 18:47 | 5100098 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

Is there anything beer can't do?

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:46 | 5099632 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

Ha Ha!

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:46 | 5099639 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

And why would Germany voluntarily divulge this??
Basically it's a big tread carefully go fuck yourself to our weak empire...and I assure was not JUST ONE..

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:22 | 5099754 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

I think the US got that info in the packages of purloined stuff it bought from the German spy.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:54 | 5099651 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   "Whats good for the goose is good for the gander".

 Mädchen Kampf

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:54 | 5099677 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture

This shit is just too funny. Send in the clowns...never mind, they're here.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:55 | 5099682 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

I wouldn't tap her with yours. Fuckin slaggy dike.
Fuck yourself Clinton, no one cares what you have to say or do.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:59 | 5099702 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

They're sorry.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:02 | 5099703 HamRove
HamRove's picture

She was tring to get the encrpted number sequence to disable the SNUKE in her SNIZZ.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 18:38 | 5099716 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Wow! Holy Hilla-rhoid, Batman!


Even broomstick antenna comm. - at 20,00ft / mach 3 - ain't safe from the snoopers!

Affirmative, Robin  - Suffering Surveillance State! Start up the Swift Boat - soon as Sec Kerry submersible surfaces in the Bat Lake! 

We're goin' in... gonna KAPOW! some Krauts in the kisser!

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:05 | 5099733 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  I wouldn't tap that  "shivering" creature of the night "FMAO" freezing my ass off   <  With Dick Cheney's Halliburton deep core grinder.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:09 | 5099750 Lea
Lea's picture

"After all, if the two nations' interest were indeed as closely aligned as the media would like Joe Sixpack to believe, none of this would be necessary".

C'mon, the Americans even spy on their own Congress. And their own sisters. You wouldn't need to push them hard for them to tap their own conversations, tinfoil hat-style.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:33 | 5099829 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Well of course we record our own conversations!

Haven't you seen our Lawyers?

People think Americans are fond of making sex tapes.

In fact, they are preserving evidence that all activities were volunatry.

Often recording is self-defense against spurious accusations and the like.

That way when some acquaintance goes to an authority and says, "He said he would break my arms and choke me to death if I spanked his son again!", then you can say, "NO I DIDN'T!  I said I would cut off your arms and strangle you to death with them if you HIT my son again!  See?  I have it on tape!"

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:09 | 5099753 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

They left out the good stuff about Hillary trying to score.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:13 | 5099758 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

hey merkel you rancid old sow if your gonna tap a clinton make it a double tap next time you cunt.

just sayin mine mine fuhrer

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:11 | 5099760 autofixer
autofixer's picture

So all of that righteous indignation by was just the pot calling the kettle out? 

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:21 | 5099788 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

let us just call it psy op smoke and mirrors a way for fatty to not have to confront the reality of rothschild cia control of her country.

a made up msm rabbi  reply to give the krauts a perception of freedom and status quo level the playing field making things out to be equal all things condsidered an even keal a steady boat a nice game of english cricket everyon following the rules of the game old boy.

yes eye nose my spelling stinks i was dropped on my head by a rabbi when i was a nipper thank god he did not catch me to spill my blood life farce

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:29 | 5099816 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

Are you referring to fatty Merkel, fatty Clinton or both fatties?

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:54 | 5099907 negative rates
negative rates's picture

I think it's Gator T Wallet he's refering to as "Fattie".

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:23 | 5099800 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Cqall reception was sketchy.... background noise sounded like carpeting being munched

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:37 | 5099849 Arthur
Arthur's picture

Just shocking.

Who would think that spy agencey would practice their craft.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:42 | 5099869 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 So, uummm? Did Zero ship those manoras to IsREAL yet?  (  iRun especials')

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 17:48 | 5099887 trip kitchen
trip kitchen's picture

Kudos on the way Tylers can set up a (head)line. Martin couldn't do it any better for us Lewis's.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 20:19 | 5100454 Canucklehead
Canucklehead's picture

Everybody is in on the PRISM program.

The fact that a German General is now the Chief of Staff of the US Army in Europe says everything.

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 21:17 | 5100665 torabora
torabora's picture

Was she calling Huma?

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 23:50 | 5101063 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Every already knows Hillary is a witch and a Lesbian. What else surprising can they find?

Sat, 08/16/2014 - 14:39 | 5102642 notadouche
notadouche's picture

That's what Bill said.

Sat, 08/16/2014 - 20:26 | 5103446 VWAndy
VWAndy's picture

Tapped Hillery? I call Bullshit. Oh her phone I get it.

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