Germany Tapped Hillary Clinton: "It Was Unintentional"

Tyler Durden's picture

About a year after it was first revealed that the US had spied not only on Angela Merkel but on virtually every German citizen, in a remarkable NSA-CIA tag-team joint venture, many were wondering why Germany is taking things so calmly (aside, of course, for the whole "Fed may need to bail out Deutsche Bank at any moment" bit). Turns out the answer is that Germany was doing the same all along and as the German press reveals today, the German Federal Intelligence Service (BND) has tapped at least one phone call of then Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton.

According to "Süddeutsche Zeitung", NDR and WDR, Clinton's phone call was intercepted while she was on a US government plane.

The good news for the US - which until this point has been embarrassed by one after another Snowden-facilitated revelation of its worldwide spying escapade which has led to a complete collapse in Chinese sales for tech and telecom companies -  is that is finally has a reason to "ask questions" and as NDR reports, John Kerry is said to have confronted the German Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier with this matter. Denis McDonough, US President Barack Obama's Chief of Staff is alleged to have addressed the wiretapping when visiting the German Chancellery Minister Peter Altmaier.

But German government sources deny systematic spying on the USA by the BND. Instead, Germany is using the tried excuse that the phone call made by Clinton "was intercepted unintentionally." The fact that the recording wasn't deleted immediately was called "idiocy" by a member of the government in Berlin. However, Clinton is supposedly not the only one: apparently, phone calls by US politicians and from other friendly nations have been repeatedly recorded and submitted to the respective BND President as instructed.

The excuses get better: according to government sources, it has never been intentional eavesdropping. So... accidental tapping of phones?

As Reuters adds, the spy dispute was revived in July when Germany's Federal Prosecutor arrested Markus R., a 31-year old employee of Germany's foreign intelligence agency (BND), on suspicion of spying for the Americans.

Details of the German recording of Clinton's conversation were included in documents that Markus R. had passed on to Washington, said the German media reports, without citing a source for that information.


The newspaper and the radio stations said a joint investigation had discovered the documents also showed Germany's government had ordered the BND to spy on a NATO partner state, without naming the country.

The irony here is that if Germany had been spying on the US, then the NSA - which has a vastly superior spying infrastructure - was well aware of it. But what is even worse is the subtext of what Merkel said in an interview last month, when she said that the United States and Germany had fundamentally different conceptions of the role of the intelligence service, and she stressed the Cold War was over.

Apparently, it isn't. In fact, what these ongoing revelations show is that in the "developed world" block, distrust and espionage is as bad as it was during the height of the cold war. Which then begs the question: why?  After all, if the two nations' interest were indeed as closely aligned as the media would like Joe Sixpack to believe, none of this would be necessary. Just who is nervous of what in this closest of relationships between the US and its "biggest European ally?" And will Putin be, again, the winner in this escalating spat at the heart of the Western alliance.

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Ms. Erable's picture

At this point, what difference does it make?

knukles's picture

It don't...
Unless you want that torrid call with "Mrs (Latex) Weiner" to be aired

ACP's picture

Wow, who else but Germany would want to tap that?

pods's picture

"Oh yeah, and you want me to put this big cock on and make you feel like a real woman, don't ya?!?!"

That explains the vast amount of traffic to Eyebleach out of Germany a while back.


0b1knob's picture

It would take a brave (and horny) German to tap that.   I thing the headline should be that they TAPED or BUGGED Hillary just to avoid any confusion.

Say What Again's picture

After these lesbian encounters, the Germans wanted to find the truth


Hillary & Natalie Portman:

Hillary & Aguilera:


At least Hillary and I agree on one thing -- well two things.


SafelyGraze's picture

they only collected metadata


msmith9962's picture

the never metadata they didn't like.

California Nightmares's picture

Geez. How can the Germans even stand to listen to her? 

drendebe10's picture

"There is nuthin uglier than an old white woman."  Fred Sanford

john39's picture

yeah, just picture merkel tapping hillary...  a new kind of porn, torture porn, but in the case its the viewer getting the torture.

Implied Violins's picture

Yick...I'm imagining a giant, sucking sound. And it ain't pretty...

Harbanger's picture

Mature lesbian hippie bondage.  That's the right genre.

Let them eat iPads's picture

Worse than those German pooping videos.

reTARD's picture

LOL, I was thinking the exact same thing. It's got to be either Merkel or Lagarde who would "tap" Hitlery. Of the three of them, I don't know who's the Mr. and who's the Mrs.?

knukles's picture

Son pointed out to me over dinner last night (guy's note out) that foreign porn is odd with the "oui", "si" and "ya"s much inferior to the English "yes"es.
Maybe for the sound effects?
I used to read Hustler in the grocery checkout line for the editorials.

Urban Redneck's picture

Sounds perfectly normal in person (unless it's coming out in something other than her or his mother tongue...)

nope-1004's picture

This is a vast right-wing conspiracy.


McMolotov's picture

Don't you mean a vast 'reich'-wing conspiracy?

Relentless101's picture

It makes a big difference. I know I wouldn't want anyone else to know I nailed that monster intentionally. We were drunk... yada yada... deny deny deny.

Keltner Channel Surf's picture

Yeah, it seems when Bush massaged Merkel's shoulders, he implanted a microscopic listening device.  All square now.

McMolotov's picture

I wish there was a word (preferably German) to describe the pleasure I feel at viewing misfortune.

JuliaS's picture

Merkel: "Vee viretapt some fuks."


drendebe10's picture

"There ain't nuthin uglier than an old white woman."  Fred Sanford

JustObserving's picture

Germany is an occupied country.  Why should it not spy on its occupiers who have no intention of ever leaving? Merkel has been spied on since 2002 and, with high probability, is owned by the NSA.

the Allies liquidated the legitimate government of the Reich, arrested the leaders, took over, divided, occupied and plundered Germany. They stole all remaining assets, and our culture, and then imposed their own, both in the FRG and GDR.   In the West,  SHAEF erected a bogus state (a legal fiction). They wrote and imposed the “Basic Law” (not a constitution), and in spite of the so-called “reunification” in 1990, that law remains in effect today, as an entirely foreign construct. There is no “Made in Germany” constitution. That means …. Germany is still an occupied and foreign controlled country!

The present FRG government is a FRAUD, because it was NOT created by and for the German people, and has NO constitution!

Good luck getting your gold back from your occupiers.

Rainman's picture

Wonder if the Krauts took any secret pics of Billary in the buff ... that'd be a hoot.

JustObserving's picture

Those pics would be more effective than condoms in preventing pregnancies - the anti-viagra.

Grifter's picture

*Swats Tyler on nose with a rolled up newspaper*  Bad Tyler, I never want to see "tapped" and "Hillary Clinton" in the same sentence again.  Friggin nightmares for a week now...

Agent P's picture

If I tapped Hilary Clinton, I would say it was unintentional too! 

LawsofPhysics's picture

Why would anyone want to tap that cunt?

Duffy's picture

Because you could say you fucked hillary clinton.

imagine the free drinks for talking about it.


I presume you need to use ky at this stage...

Uncle Remus's picture

There's something about devouring the male after mating that I can't quite recall...

Implied Violins's picture


No Vaseline in THAT sand...

Uncle Remus's picture

Whale oil.

Oh sorry, shale oil.

all-priced-in's picture

"Why would anyone want to tap that cunt?"


In your best Star Trek voice ----



To boldly go where no man has gone before.

all-priced-in's picture


In your best Alex Trebek voice -


What is -- "Why would anyone want to tap that cunt?"



What Barack Obama says every night before bed.

Uncle Remus's picture

Check's in the mail.

It's only a cold sore.

It's a temporary tax.

Dr. Richard Head's picture

Anything you can do I can do better.  I can do anything better than you...

Callz d Ballz's picture

One kackle brought their entire spying apparatus down.


Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Pot meet kettle but we knew that already. Unintentional my ass. Old Stasi's don't fade away........