Putin Considers Banning Jack Daniel's

Tyler Durden's picture




 

We knew the blowback from western sanctions against Russia would get serious - and Europe is already finding that out the hard way - but Vladmimir Putin appears to have gone 'cruel-and-unusual' in his latest step. As ITAR-TASS reports, Russian consumer-protection agency Rospotrebnadzor will decide in next few days whether to seize Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey and Honey Liqueur after 'reportedly' finding "suspicious" chemicals in batch of flavored whiskey on sale in Sverdlovsk stores. Luckily Jack Lew has told us this will not impact the US economy (unless of course, you are Jack Daniels).

 

As Moscow Times reports,

A regional branch of Russia's state food safety watchdog found "chemical substances not common to whiskey" in Jack Daniel's Tennessee Honey Liqueur, an agency spokesperson told the ITAR-Tass news agency late last week.

 

The agency also had issues with the honey-flavored drink's more common sibling, Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey.

 

Under Russian law, alcohol packaging should include a list of ingredients written in Russian, the location where it was brewed, and the length of the distilling process — all of which Jack Daniel's lacks, the spokeswoman said.

 

Responding to suspicions that the whiskey in question may have been fake — state statistics indicate 9.9 million liters of fake whiskey may have been sold in Russia in 2013 — a spokesman for the region's customs service defended the results.

 

"According to our information, the alcohol products on the Sverdlovsk region market are original," the spokesman said, adding that no imports of counterfeit U.S. alcohol to the region have been recorded for at least a year and a half.

 

The regional authorities are continuing their inspection and plan to confiscate the Jack Daniel's whisky currently in circulation, the food safety watchdog's spokeswoman said.

 

Earlier this month, imports of Kentucky Gentleman bourbon, another popular U.S. alcohol brand, were suspended by Russia's consumer protection watchdog. The agency said that it had discovered phthalates — organic chemicals — in the bourbon.

*  *  *

Ironically, in 2013, Jack Daniel's planned a $100 million investment to expand into emerging markets such as Russia, China, Turkey, and Brazil.

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Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:29 | 5113890 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

not

the

jack

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:35 | 5113925 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Here WOODKA ONLY... Beachez

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:36 | 5113945 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Maybe the Poles will be kind and send you some decent stuff.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:40 | 5113965 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Good!

Moar for us!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:43 | 5113980 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Rot gut for Nascar knotheads. Oh how about some coke in your rot gut!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:58 | 5114032 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Fuck you Billy

I'll be buying a bottle of old number 7 in support of my old friend. I don't think Russia will ever warm up to Whiskey.

If you want to give me a few lines with that, I'll accept.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myztXvIvigk

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:13 | 5114148 Badabing
Badabing's picture

Paging Dr Daniels, Dr pepper and & Jack Daniels.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:15 | 5114164 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Most Russians will drink anything, but will usually choose vodka.   Symbolically, Putins move makes sense since he is ridding Russia of an American icon.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:00 | 5114395 HardwoodAg
HardwoodAg's picture

Years back a story circulated about the Soviet troops being so hard up they were popping windshield washer solvent with a 55 gallon shot glass.

Turned out the specs were changed to 100 proof potato spirits instead of denatured alcohol. The front line troops were no where near as depressed as the CIA made them out to be, But their windshields were a muddy mess.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 13:09 | 5114866 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

Russia without whiskey is like Beverly Hills without poor people.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:22 | 5114178 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Not even Obamacare can save you from brown "corn" liquor. Repent hethens! BTW, Putin was making a subtle point that shit in the West "ain't what it used to be" which it ain't, corn syrup, chemical flavorings. He just flat out busted JD for pushing out chemically flavored crap. Honey my ass, how about "honey flavor #72".

Go back to your cubicles kids, don't argue with me.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:50 | 5114355 Rakshas
Rakshas's picture

Bourbon, that comes with an EBT doen't it ??  Single Malt Bitchez!!! ...... and just like your girlfriends nothing under 18 YO

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 14:56 | 5115736 fallout11
fallout11's picture

Fracking chemicals are being used within a few miles of Jack Daniel's spring water source.  Sure hope that shit doesn't end up in the water they use in Lynchburg.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:33 | 5113927 JohninMK
JohninMK's picture

This is war!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:41 | 5114613 Mountainview
Mountainview's picture

Sverdlovsk store-this is good old USSR . tThe city is renamed since decenies... Sverdlov was the guy who executed the last czar!!!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:35 | 5113937 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I think the family that owned Jack sold it to a company connected to Israel.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:42 | 5113981 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

So, then it wouldnt be banned, right?

Yid Tidbit:  Lem Motlow's real name was Leonard Mordechai

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:21 | 5113994 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

It's owned by Brown Forman.  Where's the Israel connection?

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:28 | 5114232 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Brown-Forman founded in 1870, publically traded but 70% owned by the Brown family. 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:25 | 5114521 JR
JR's picture

Interesting that Matthew Winthrop Barzun was selected by President Barack Obama as National Finance Chair for the president's 2012 re-election campaign.[3]

Barzun is married (since 1999) to Brooke Brown Barzun, heiress of the Brown-Forman Corporation distilling empire, which includes the brands Jack Daniel's and Woodford Reserve.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_Barzun

And, according to Where’s the Change?, the wife of 2012 Democratic Obama Presidential Campaign National Finance Chair Matthew BarzunBrooke Brown Barzun—apparently still owned over 3. 9 million shares of Brown-Forman corporate stock, worth over $350 million, in July 2012, after selling over $27.2 million worth of her Brown-Forman stock on June 26, 2012, according to a recent SEC filing.”

http://wherechangeobama.blogspot.com/2012/09/obama-campaign-national-finance-chair.html

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 12:46 | 5114982 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

That is interesting--maybe a little personal tit-for-tat by Putin as US sanctions attacked those close to him.  

There are other Brown heirs, including the current head of the Board, fwiw . . . . worth quite a bit to them!!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 21:34 | 5117920 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

@ JR:

SHIT.

You had to go telling me that, didn't you?

Maybe I don't like Putin (ex-KGB, muppet for the Russian Big Oil people, etc.), but in this case, now that I know, I'll stop buying Jack as well.

I used to like the stuff when I was younger (a pint at a time, straight shots), but now that Obama's associated with it, I'm all done.

One of the reasons I like the ZH is that the people here (some of them) are willing to do 'due diligence research' and dig up facts that are mostly UNKNOWN (but directly relate to the topic at hand). While the banning of Jack in Russia may be of little REAL importance (I can't buy the excuse of 'adulterated ingredients'), it does send a message; much like the freezing of assets of CERTAIN Russians invested in the Western ponzi scheming bankster oligopoly.

Ol' Jack Daniel himself must be smiling in his grave now, knowing that his little distillery is part of the focus of a trade war between two grandiose nuclear-armed empires... one that has fallen and is rising again; and one that has peaked and is on the way out.

HYPERLINKS are always good for proof and eludication (or just plain fun)!

THANK GOD you didn't start in on 'SHIT-KOIN' being able to buy Jack on the Russian black market or something... that 'fonestar' clone 'goatfucker' seems to be doing this more and more...

How long do you think it will be before the shooting war starts (not the skirmishes, but the actual thermonuclear exchanges)?

SCORPIONS: 'CHINA WHITE' (next to last song, second side, 'Blackout' album):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGLGIv7HqLY

This version is the European release. I owned the first-run American release of this album (the guitar solo is somewhat different).

It's up to you... just fight the evil in your mind... it's up to you... the more love you give, the more you'll find...

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:35 | 5113939 MalteseFalcon
MalteseFalcon's picture

Honey flavored whiskey?  Not only should Putin ban it, he should send agents to Kentucky to slap those responsible.

This shit should not be issued under the Jack Daniels label.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:42 | 5113971 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Honey flavored whiskey has been around longer than the USA, Drambuie claims an ancient recipe brought to the Isle of Skye in 1745. You should probably stick to shitty russian vodka along with your russo buddies...

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:55 | 5114049 MalteseFalcon
MalteseFalcon's picture

If you want to drink honey flavored whiskey call it Drambuie, don't call it Jack.  Although I doubt Drambuie has honey flavoring added, the formulation is doubtless different.  It's more like mead, which is perfectly acceptable when you call it 'mead'.

There is flavored Stoli and it's equally ridiculous.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:02 | 5114092 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

What is mead made with dip shit?

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:08 | 5114432 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

Honey. No doubt.

It isn't called whiskey though.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 12:05 | 5114777 MalteseFalcon
MalteseFalcon's picture

Wow.  Why do you think I brought up mead?  LOL.

 

Fucking moron.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 22:05 | 5118010 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

UM, 'Honey Wine'?

I bet most ZH'ers here can't afford to buy the amount of honey needed to make this recipe for 'sweet to very sweet mead':

http://traditionalmead.blogspot.com/p/way.html

Well, maybe they can. Honey in the CONUS is going for about 8 feds a pound (and going up rapidly).

Jack Daniel's was always better straight, though (and if you share a flask with a winsome young lass on a fine country day, her panties come off much faster, and she's usually ready).

I think (by the ingredients) that mead will make 'em fatter, though; so be careful about a 'long-term' thing. You don't want to be permanantly tetherd to some fat cow that you got drunk and screwed in the heat of the moment... try mixing some 'White Lightning' into their fruity drink, instead. 190 proof (95% alcohol)...

ALL THINGS in MODERATION.

Winston's a douche for calling you a 'dipshit' (although, he probably can't tell the difference between his pissing head and his sister's tittie). He probably needs a 'sarc' tag or an 'irony' tag attached so that he understands that there are forms of humor that transcend and lighten up an otherwise dour situation.

OCH...

 

 

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:17 | 5114159 Oracle 911
Oracle 911's picture

I bet, the flavoring was done by real honey, not by shitty chemicals.

BTW really high quality Russian vodka is useful for many purposes, not just for drinking, so I downvoted you.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 17:31 | 5116649 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Still need 6 more Lbs of honey, and I be brewin' some mead this winter (with help from my yeast buds!)

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 22:31 | 5118154 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

@ Oracle:

I find high-quality 'Russian' Vodka has many purposes. When wiped on with a rag, it cleans up paint overspray, and if used on a floor, it helps strip layers of wax off. It is useful in disinfecting cuts and scrapes, as well as sanitizing toilet areas. When added to the gas tank, it boosts the octane rating, and it also cuts varnish that builds up on fuel system parts. When mixed with light machine oil (like sewing machine oil or air tool oil such as 'Marvel Mystery Oil') it is proficient in the cleaning of weaponry (but has a tendency to dry out faster than desired). When faced with a platoon of Russian invaders, it may be helpful to keep several gallons on hand (just in case). If the Russian invaders are females, it may be useful in getting your pipes cleaned. If they are male, it may be useful in formulating 'Molotov Cocktails' for everyone to enjoy.

Mr. Checkov used to pronounce it 'Wodka'. His people had composers as well.

The 1812 Overture, composed by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky in 1880:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbxgYlcNxE8

I think the English sacked and burned the capitol of the United States in 1812. Over HERE, we called it 'The War Of 1812' Over THERE they called it 'The Napoleonic War'. The Free Russians and the Constitutional Americans have a lot in common in terms of history, it seems. The BANKERS hated us BOTH. This linked song is REALLY one of the most revered 'classical' pieces of music ever to be composed.


Tue, 08/19/2014 - 13:31 | 5114945 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Hey, I think it's a pretty good blend. I enjoy it every now and then. Surely, has little to no resemblence with other Jacks, but tastes great nonetheless.

Just last Friday was going to pick up a refill and the store shelf was empty. Didn't know whom to blame. Now I know that apparently Putin's behind everything. Russia must've been stacking up ahead of the ban.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:38 | 5113950 Gmpx
Gmpx's picture

Not a big loss. They will buy a better brand from Scotland.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:47 | 5114001 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Not better only different, in fact for Tennessee whiskey I prefer George Dickels. I enjoy ALL types of whiskey from Kentucky bourbon to Scoth and Irish whiskey and nothing goes better with ginger ale than CC... When he bans EXPORTS of their shitty vodka I will take note!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:57 | 5114062 Gmpx
Gmpx's picture

Whiskey is a simple product and it can be easily made in any country and any quantity. Brands are often mixes with additives, flavors and other crap. It is more about advertising than real goodness.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 13:16 | 5115154 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Yellow Spot then. Cheers.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:39 | 5113960 MeMongo
MeMongo's picture

If he bans the Beam, the gloves come off!

A red line must be drawn!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:23 | 5114507 corsair
corsair's picture

He may be Jack to you son, but when you've known him as long as I have...

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:31 | 5113894 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

banning jack?

that would be his first slip-up

 

man does not live on vodka alone.

 

 

 

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:44 | 5113985 GVB
GVB's picture

Maybe it's more about the suspicious chemicals than the brand itself. I really would like to know which chemicals they found to be suspicious.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:00 | 5114077 duo
duo's picture

Then the Russians should be upset about the glycerin in Corona, or the corn starch and rice in Bud.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:13 | 5114144 boattrash
boattrash's picture

ALL Whiskey made with GMO Corn will be laced with bad chemicals, that is the entire reason behind GMO. It allows the crops to be bathed in herbicides that would kill any and every Non-GMO plant. It's really that simple.

That said, I'm not that much of a purist, I would sure as hell rather get my GMO/poison via whiskey, not Corn Flakes.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:16 | 5114163 boattrash
boattrash's picture

P.S. Monsanto, FOAD!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:47 | 5114340 flapdoodle
flapdoodle's picture

Probably high fructose corn syrup and yellow tartrazine dye...

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:49 | 5114350 Jorgen
Jorgen's picture

Maybe it's more about the suspicious chemicals than the brand itself. I really would like to know which chemicals they found to be suspicious.

Phthalates are the chemicals found in American made whisky sold in Russia. Phthalates cause functional and organic changes in the central and peripheral nervous systems, endocrine system, as well as cancer and infertility in both men and women.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:50 | 5114014 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Especially rot gut russian vodka, I hear they are cutting it with croc...

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:29 | 5113898 BustainMovealota
BustainMovealota's picture

Now he's crossing the line!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:30 | 5113915 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

he cannot be allowed to ban the jack.

anyone know the pentagon war room contingency for this?

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 12:13 | 5114822 Aussiekiwi
Aussiekiwi's picture

probably the Jews again Tony?

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