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Putin Considers Banning Jack Daniel's

Tyler Durden's picture




 

We knew the blowback from western sanctions against Russia would get serious - and Europe is already finding that out the hard way - but Vladmimir Putin appears to have gone 'cruel-and-unusual' in his latest step. As ITAR-TASS reports, Russian consumer-protection agency Rospotrebnadzor will decide in next few days whether to seize Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey and Honey Liqueur after 'reportedly' finding "suspicious" chemicals in batch of flavored whiskey on sale in Sverdlovsk stores. Luckily Jack Lew has told us this will not impact the US economy (unless of course, you are Jack Daniels).

 

As Moscow Times reports,

A regional branch of Russia's state food safety watchdog found "chemical substances not common to whiskey" in Jack Daniel's Tennessee Honey Liqueur, an agency spokesperson told the ITAR-Tass news agency late last week.

 

The agency also had issues with the honey-flavored drink's more common sibling, Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey.

 

Under Russian law, alcohol packaging should include a list of ingredients written in Russian, the location where it was brewed, and the length of the distilling process — all of which Jack Daniel's lacks, the spokeswoman said.

 

Responding to suspicions that the whiskey in question may have been fake — state statistics indicate 9.9 million liters of fake whiskey may have been sold in Russia in 2013 — a spokesman for the region's customs service defended the results.

 

"According to our information, the alcohol products on the Sverdlovsk region market are original," the spokesman said, adding that no imports of counterfeit U.S. alcohol to the region have been recorded for at least a year and a half.

 

The regional authorities are continuing their inspection and plan to confiscate the Jack Daniel's whisky currently in circulation, the food safety watchdog's spokeswoman said.

 

Earlier this month, imports of Kentucky Gentleman bourbon, another popular U.S. alcohol brand, were suspended by Russia's consumer protection watchdog. The agency said that it had discovered phthalates — organic chemicals — in the bourbon.

*  *  *

Ironically, in 2013, Jack Daniel's planned a $100 million investment to expand into emerging markets such as Russia, China, Turkey, and Brazil.

 

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Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:29 | 5113890 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

not

the

jack

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:35 | 5113925 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Here WOODKA ONLY... Beachez

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:36 | 5113945 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Maybe the Poles will be kind and send you some decent stuff.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:40 | 5113965 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Good!

Moar for us!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:43 | 5113980 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Rot gut for Nascar knotheads. Oh how about some coke in your rot gut!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:58 | 5114032 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Fuck you Billy

I'll be buying a bottle of old number 7 in support of my old friend. I don't think Russia will ever warm up to Whiskey.

If you want to give me a few lines with that, I'll accept.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myztXvIvigk

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:13 | 5114148 Badabing
Badabing's picture

Paging Dr Daniels, Dr pepper and & Jack Daniels.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:15 | 5114164 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Most Russians will drink anything, but will usually choose vodka.   Symbolically, Putins move makes sense since he is ridding Russia of an American icon.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:00 | 5114395 HardwoodAg
HardwoodAg's picture

Years back a story circulated about the Soviet troops being so hard up they were popping windshield washer solvent with a 55 gallon shot glass.

Turned out the specs were changed to 100 proof potato spirits instead of denatured alcohol. The front line troops were no where near as depressed as the CIA made them out to be, But their windshields were a muddy mess.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 13:09 | 5114866 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

Russia without whiskey is like Beverly Hills without poor people.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:22 | 5114178 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Not even Obamacare can save you from brown "corn" liquor. Repent hethens! BTW, Putin was making a subtle point that shit in the West "ain't what it used to be" which it ain't, corn syrup, chemical flavorings. He just flat out busted JD for pushing out chemically flavored crap. Honey my ass, how about "honey flavor #72".

Go back to your cubicles kids, don't argue with me.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:50 | 5114355 Rakshas
Rakshas's picture

Bourbon, that comes with an EBT doen't it ??  Single Malt Bitchez!!! ...... and just like your girlfriends nothing under 18 YO

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 14:56 | 5115736 fallout11
fallout11's picture

Fracking chemicals are being used within a few miles of Jack Daniel's spring water source.  Sure hope that shit doesn't end up in the water they use in Lynchburg.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:33 | 5113927 JohninMK
JohninMK's picture

This is war!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:41 | 5114613 Mountainview
Mountainview's picture

Sverdlovsk store-this is good old USSR . tThe city is renamed since decenies... Sverdlov was the guy who executed the last czar!!!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:35 | 5113937 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I think the family that owned Jack sold it to a company connected to Israel.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:42 | 5113981 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

So, then it wouldnt be banned, right?

Yid Tidbit:  Lem Motlow's real name was Leonard Mordechai

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:21 | 5113994 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

It's owned by Brown Forman.  Where's the Israel connection?

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:28 | 5114232 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Brown-Forman founded in 1870, publically traded but 70% owned by the Brown family. 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:25 | 5114521 JR
JR's picture

Interesting that Matthew Winthrop Barzun was selected by President Barack Obama as National Finance Chair for the president's 2012 re-election campaign.[3]

Barzun is married (since 1999) to Brooke Brown Barzun, heiress of the Brown-Forman Corporation distilling empire, which includes the brands Jack Daniel's and Woodford Reserve.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_Barzun

And, according to Where’s the Change?, the wife of 2012 Democratic Obama Presidential Campaign National Finance Chair Matthew BarzunBrooke Brown Barzun—apparently still owned over 3. 9 million shares of Brown-Forman corporate stock, worth over $350 million, in July 2012, after selling over $27.2 million worth of her Brown-Forman stock on June 26, 2012, according to a recent SEC filing.”

http://wherechangeobama.blogspot.com/2012/09/obama-campaign-national-finance-chair.html

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 12:46 | 5114982 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

That is interesting--maybe a little personal tit-for-tat by Putin as US sanctions attacked those close to him.  

There are other Brown heirs, including the current head of the Board, fwiw . . . . worth quite a bit to them!!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 21:34 | 5117920 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

@ JR:

SHIT.

You had to go telling me that, didn't you?

Maybe I don't like Putin (ex-KGB, muppet for the Russian Big Oil people, etc.), but in this case, now that I know, I'll stop buying Jack as well.

I used to like the stuff when I was younger (a pint at a time, straight shots), but now that Obama's associated with it, I'm all done.

One of the reasons I like the ZH is that the people here (some of them) are willing to do 'due diligence research' and dig up facts that are mostly UNKNOWN (but directly relate to the topic at hand). While the banning of Jack in Russia may be of little REAL importance (I can't buy the excuse of 'adulterated ingredients'), it does send a message; much like the freezing of assets of CERTAIN Russians invested in the Western ponzi scheming bankster oligopoly.

Ol' Jack Daniel himself must be smiling in his grave now, knowing that his little distillery is part of the focus of a trade war between two grandiose nuclear-armed empires... one that has fallen and is rising again; and one that has peaked and is on the way out.

HYPERLINKS are always good for proof and eludication (or just plain fun)!

THANK GOD you didn't start in on 'SHIT-KOIN' being able to buy Jack on the Russian black market or something... that 'fonestar' clone 'goatfucker' seems to be doing this more and more...

How long do you think it will be before the shooting war starts (not the skirmishes, but the actual thermonuclear exchanges)?

SCORPIONS: 'CHINA WHITE' (next to last song, second side, 'Blackout' album):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGLGIv7HqLY

This version is the European release. I owned the first-run American release of this album (the guitar solo is somewhat different).

It's up to you... just fight the evil in your mind... it's up to you... the more love you give, the more you'll find...

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:35 | 5113939 MalteseFalcon
MalteseFalcon's picture

Honey flavored whiskey?  Not only should Putin ban it, he should send agents to Kentucky to slap those responsible.

This shit should not be issued under the Jack Daniels label.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:42 | 5113971 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Honey flavored whiskey has been around longer than the USA, Drambuie claims an ancient recipe brought to the Isle of Skye in 1745. You should probably stick to shitty russian vodka along with your russo buddies...

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:55 | 5114049 MalteseFalcon
MalteseFalcon's picture

If you want to drink honey flavored whiskey call it Drambuie, don't call it Jack.  Although I doubt Drambuie has honey flavoring added, the formulation is doubtless different.  It's more like mead, which is perfectly acceptable when you call it 'mead'.

There is flavored Stoli and it's equally ridiculous.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:02 | 5114092 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

What is mead made with dip shit?

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:08 | 5114432 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

Honey. No doubt.

It isn't called whiskey though.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 12:05 | 5114777 MalteseFalcon
MalteseFalcon's picture

Wow.  Why do you think I brought up mead?  LOL.

 

Fucking moron.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 22:05 | 5118010 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

UM, 'Honey Wine'?

I bet most ZH'ers here can't afford to buy the amount of honey needed to make this recipe for 'sweet to very sweet mead':

http://traditionalmead.blogspot.com/p/way.html

Well, maybe they can. Honey in the CONUS is going for about 8 feds a pound (and going up rapidly).

Jack Daniel's was always better straight, though (and if you share a flask with a winsome young lass on a fine country day, her panties come off much faster, and she's usually ready).

I think (by the ingredients) that mead will make 'em fatter, though; so be careful about a 'long-term' thing. You don't want to be permanantly tetherd to some fat cow that you got drunk and screwed in the heat of the moment... try mixing some 'White Lightning' into their fruity drink, instead. 190 proof (95% alcohol)...

ALL THINGS in MODERATION.

Winston's a douche for calling you a 'dipshit' (although, he probably can't tell the difference between his pissing head and his sister's tittie). He probably needs a 'sarc' tag or an 'irony' tag attached so that he understands that there are forms of humor that transcend and lighten up an otherwise dour situation.

OCH...

 

 

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:17 | 5114159 Oracle 911
Oracle 911's picture

I bet, the flavoring was done by real honey, not by shitty chemicals.

BTW really high quality Russian vodka is useful for many purposes, not just for drinking, so I downvoted you.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 17:31 | 5116649 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Still need 6 more Lbs of honey, and I be brewin' some mead this winter (with help from my yeast buds!)

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 22:31 | 5118154 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

@ Oracle:

I find high-quality 'Russian' Vodka has many purposes. When wiped on with a rag, it cleans up paint overspray, and if used on a floor, it helps strip layers of wax off. It is useful in disinfecting cuts and scrapes, as well as sanitizing toilet areas. When added to the gas tank, it boosts the octane rating, and it also cuts varnish that builds up on fuel system parts. When mixed with light machine oil (like sewing machine oil or air tool oil such as 'Marvel Mystery Oil') it is proficient in the cleaning of weaponry (but has a tendency to dry out faster than desired). When faced with a platoon of Russian invaders, it may be helpful to keep several gallons on hand (just in case). If the Russian invaders are females, it may be useful in getting your pipes cleaned. If they are male, it may be useful in formulating 'Molotov Cocktails' for everyone to enjoy.

Mr. Checkov used to pronounce it 'Wodka'. His people had composers as well.

The 1812 Overture, composed by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky in 1880:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbxgYlcNxE8

I think the English sacked and burned the capitol of the United States in 1812. Over HERE, we called it 'The War Of 1812' Over THERE they called it 'The Napoleonic War'. The Free Russians and the Constitutional Americans have a lot in common in terms of history, it seems. The BANKERS hated us BOTH. This linked song is REALLY one of the most revered 'classical' pieces of music ever to be composed.


Tue, 08/19/2014 - 13:31 | 5114945 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Hey, I think it's a pretty good blend. I enjoy it every now and then. Surely, has little to no resemblence with other Jacks, but tastes great nonetheless.

Just last Friday was going to pick up a refill and the store shelf was empty. Didn't know whom to blame. Now I know that apparently Putin's behind everything. Russia must've been stacking up ahead of the ban.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:38 | 5113950 Gmpx
Gmpx's picture

Not a big loss. They will buy a better brand from Scotland.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:47 | 5114001 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Not better only different, in fact for Tennessee whiskey I prefer George Dickels. I enjoy ALL types of whiskey from Kentucky bourbon to Scoth and Irish whiskey and nothing goes better with ginger ale than CC... When he bans EXPORTS of their shitty vodka I will take note!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:57 | 5114062 Gmpx
Gmpx's picture

Whiskey is a simple product and it can be easily made in any country and any quantity. Brands are often mixes with additives, flavors and other crap. It is more about advertising than real goodness.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 13:16 | 5115154 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Yellow Spot then. Cheers.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:39 | 5113960 MeMongo
MeMongo's picture

If he bans the Beam, the gloves come off!

A red line must be drawn!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:23 | 5114507 corsair
corsair's picture

He may be Jack to you son, but when you've known him as long as I have...

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:31 | 5113894 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

banning jack?

that would be his first slip-up

 

man does not live on vodka alone.

 

 

 

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:44 | 5113985 GVB
GVB's picture

Maybe it's more about the suspicious chemicals than the brand itself. I really would like to know which chemicals they found to be suspicious.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:00 | 5114077 duo
duo's picture

Then the Russians should be upset about the glycerin in Corona, or the corn starch and rice in Bud.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:13 | 5114144 boattrash
boattrash's picture

ALL Whiskey made with GMO Corn will be laced with bad chemicals, that is the entire reason behind GMO. It allows the crops to be bathed in herbicides that would kill any and every Non-GMO plant. It's really that simple.

That said, I'm not that much of a purist, I would sure as hell rather get my GMO/poison via whiskey, not Corn Flakes.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:16 | 5114163 boattrash
boattrash's picture

P.S. Monsanto, FOAD!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:47 | 5114340 flapdoodle
flapdoodle's picture

Probably high fructose corn syrup and yellow tartrazine dye...

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:49 | 5114350 Jorgen
Jorgen's picture

Maybe it's more about the suspicious chemicals than the brand itself. I really would like to know which chemicals they found to be suspicious.

Phthalates are the chemicals found in American made whisky sold in Russia. Phthalates cause functional and organic changes in the central and peripheral nervous systems, endocrine system, as well as cancer and infertility in both men and women.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:50 | 5114014 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Especially rot gut russian vodka, I hear they are cutting it with croc...

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:29 | 5113898 BustainMovealota
BustainMovealota's picture

Now he's crossing the line!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:30 | 5113915 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

he cannot be allowed to ban the jack.

anyone know the pentagon war room contingency for this?

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 12:13 | 5114822 Aussiekiwi
Aussiekiwi's picture

probably the Jews again Tony?

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:29 | 5113902 bigkansas
bigkansas's picture

Stop with the stupid Rusian posts allready!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:30 | 5113914 kowalli
kowalli's picture

you can always go and watch fox news...

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:52 | 5114021 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Why are they any different than CNN or cBS?

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:11 | 5114133 kowalli
kowalli's picture

I was too lazy to list

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:29 | 5114238 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Too lazy or just a dipshit?

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:33 | 5113928 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Feel free to go be a douche somewhere else. Preferably a place that matches your spelling.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:50 | 5113962 Talleyrand
Talleyrand's picture

Maybe Kanasas.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:59 | 5114073 CloseToTheEdge
CloseToTheEdge's picture

h/t  i laff harder at zh comments than i ever did with jack piss

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 12:54 | 5115029 bigkansas
bigkansas's picture

Yep.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:37 | 5113906 BandGap
BandGap's picture

I've banned that shit for years, personally.

Really, a down arrow? Who drinks that crap? And "honey liquer?". For fuck's sake, I appreciate my taste buds. I'd use Jack Daniel's to clean rust off of old bolts. That's about it.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:42 | 5113978 Dugald
Dugald's picture

 

I have never drunk cat piss, but if I did I bet it would taste like Jack Daniels.

Fake whiskey indeed.....

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:57 | 5114065 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

There was no finer burbon than Jack until they cut it from 100 proof to 80 proof about 10 years ago.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:17 | 5114168 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

Jack is crap that the sheeple of America believe to be good whiskey.  

Just like iphone, Bose speakers and Viagara.

Marketing 101

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:56 | 5114056 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

yep, its crap whiskey. I prefer knob creek or blantons. I like to taste the charcoal and the barrel

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:12 | 5114139 Ol Man
Ol Man's picture

Cocktail bourbon...

 

If you don't mix it with something (Coke) it is undrinkable....

 

8>P

 

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:31 | 5113913 Keltner Channel Surf
Keltner Channel Surf's picture

So did Keith Richards' handlers in the 60s, but it didn't work.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:49 | 5114010 Agent P
Agent P's picture

If you're a bartender, and Keith comes up and orders a Jack & Coke, your first thought on what to bring him is probably wrong. 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:33 | 5113916 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Whatever you do Putin, don't fuck with the booze.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:37 | 5113922 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture
Why have the media and Obama administration gone silent on MH17?


By Niles Williamson 
18 August 2014

 

The deafening silence of the US media and government about the investigation into the downing of Malaysian Airlines Flight MH17 one month ago reeks of a cover-up.

In the hours and days immediately after the crash, without a single shred of evidence, US officials alleged that the passenger jet was shot down by an SA-11 ground-to-air missile fired from pro-Russian separatist-held territory in eastern Ukraine. They launched a political campaign to obtain harsh economic sanctions against Russia and strengthen NATO’s military posture in Eastern Europe.

Picking up on the scent, the CIA attack dogs in the US and European media blamed the crash squarely on Russian President Vladimir Putin. The cover of the July 28 print edition of German news magazine Der Spiegel showed the images of MH17 victims surrounding bold red text reading “Stoppt Putin Jetzt!” (Stop Putin Now!). A July 26 editorial in the Economist declared Putin to be the author of MH17’s destruction, while the magazine ghoulishly superimposed Putin’s face over a spider web on its front cover, denouncing Putin’s “web of lies.”

Anyone comparing the media’s demonization of Putin with their treatment of Saddam Hussein or Muammar Gaddafi had to conclude that Washington was launching a campaign for regime change in Russia like those it carried out in Libya and Iraq—this time, recklessly pushing the United States towards war with a nuclear-armed power, Russia.

Having built up the crash into a casus belli against Russia, however, the US media suddenly dropped the matter completely. The New York Times has not found it fit to print a word on the MH17 crash since August 7.

http://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2014/08/18/ukmh-a18.html

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:24 | 5114210 Omen IV
Omen IV's picture

and the NYT will not take a blog if there are links to stories about the Ukrainian air to air missiles from another site - they dont want any contrary stories to the WH mime

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 13:52 | 5115361 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Putin has been quiet as well.  Why is he not pushing the issue, by releasing bits and chunks of what the Americans know?  He knows what the AMericans know...

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:32 | 5113923 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

ZH sometimes reminds me of a bookshelf.

Maybe one or two really good books surrounded by a lot of bad books.

This article is a bad book, but you have to keep the shelf full.

I understand.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:36 | 5113941 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

So... warfare isn't a valid subject in your opinion, then?

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:36 | 5113943 Postal
Postal's picture

Kinda like my porn collection...

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:38 | 5113952 BandGap
BandGap's picture

I hear you. Lots of stuff that I had to ask myself what was I thinking later. Although, with failing eyesight comes a new appreciation.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:33 | 5113926 unrulian
unrulian's picture

never trust a man that doesn't drink whiskey...or one that does for that matter

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:34 | 5113931 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

to be honest putin needs to ban many uk and us products.

jack uses fucking gmo roundup ready corn syrup gmo shit cos it cheaper than natural cane sugars.

cancer time bomb suckers.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:01 | 5114087 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

to be honest i wish the US would ban many US products.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:33 | 5113932 D-liverSil-ver
D-liverSil-ver's picture

I better go stock up on some Stoli, just in case this Admin decides to go Tit for Tat.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:59 | 5114074 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Why? You can get BETTER vodka made in Poland for far less, in fact the Russians stole"y" the recipe from the Poles who invented it.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:33 | 5114268 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Back in the day, I preferred Kettle One. Stoli was a well water grade. Kettle One was smooth and didn't have impurities. IMO.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 12:30 | 5114907 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Zyr

THE best Russian vodka - hands down.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:36 | 5113947 youngman
youngman's picture

Seize all of that and put it in my closet for safe keeping....jus sayin..but I bet Putin does not touch the Jhonny Walker...they love that shit

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:38 | 5113949 The Proletariat
The Proletariat's picture

There is nothing wrong with adding a little filler in your products!!!!!  Signed, The FED

#pinkslime #cardboard #ballsackcheese

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:38 | 5113956 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

yay!  more for us!!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:42 | 5113976 NYPoke
NYPoke's picture

#ouch

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:45 | 5113995 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

As ITAR-TASS reports, Russian consumer-protection agency Rospotrebnadzor will decide in next few days whether to seize Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey and Honey Liqueur after 'reportedly' finding "suspicious" chemicals in batch of flavored whiskey on sale in Sverdlovsk stores....

Hats off to the Russians. 

They will be thanking the U.S. government for starting the sanctions war when they no longer have any trace of GMO in their produce, hormones in their meats and yes suspicous chemicals in JD's black label!

The only thing that would make these statements by Russia golden is if they were to have said to the U.S. Government -To your health!

We care too much about our own citizens in what they eat and drink -How 'bout you????!!!!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:47 | 5113997 TabakLover
TabakLover's picture

If you ever get a chance visit the JD Distllery in Lynchburg, TN.   Really cool place.  Little known fact:  JD is produced in "dry" county.  Also, on payday, every employee gets a pint bottle. 

JD is really an amazing product....produced in only one place, it is safe to say it can be found in every bar on the planet.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:52 | 5114638 JR
JR's picture

Purveyors of hard-core materialism, such as the alcohol industry, have few redeeming spiritual values, making victims of their own children. "Underage drinkers and pathological drinkers...are the U.S. liquor industry’s most valuable customers."

According to Where’s the Change?, “In a May 14, 2012 Advertising Age article, titled ‘Hard Time: Liquor Advertising Pours Into TV,’ E. J. Schultz also described how liquor industry corporations like Brown-Forman have been allowed to use the profits they obtain from their sale of alcoholic beverages around the globe to spend a lot more money on television commercials during the U.S. election year of 2012:

…Broadcast networks have loosened their rules, creating more opportunities for national buys…. More broadcast deals are `in the works,’ one industry insider told Ad Age.

Liquor ads did not appear on any TV, national or local, for much of the 20th century, with the industry honoring a self-imposed ban from 1948 to 1996….
…But the new acceptance from broadcast networks is a victory for the spirits industry, which has sought parity with beer and wine since it lifted the bans… Even brands that swore off TV are back.

Take Brown-Forman's Southern Comfort. It moved to an all-digital strategy in 2009, telling Ad Age then that it was having a hard time breaking through the spirits brands crowded into a few nightly cable shows. But SoCo returned to TV in 2010 and 2011 to launch lime- and pepper-flavored versions.

The brand's TV investment will grow this year, a spokesman said, because `we've seen increased consumer response during the time periods when we are on air.'

"According to a 2006 study by Columbia University’s National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse [CASA], titled 'The Commercial Value of Underage Drinking and Adult Abusive and Dependent Drinking to the Alcohol Industry,' underage drinkers and pathological drinkers (those that meet the clinical DSM-IV criteria for alcohol abuse or addiction) consume between 37.5 percent and 48.8 percent of the value of alcohol sold in the United States and are apparently the U.S. liquor industry’s most valuable customers."

http://wherechangeobama.blogspot.com/2012/09/obama-campaign-national-finance-chair.html

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 15:57 | 5116129 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

a little known fact jack iit s owned by jacob rothschild via various other mega  corporations,

many of these companies had superb original recipes until monsanto  gm corn came to town you see fermentation needs a lot of sugar and monsanto corn syrup is cheap.

putin gets mighty fine cane sugars from cuba and those old russian factories stick to old ingredients init

 

 

yes sir jack makes a good old fashioned olden times tv show but it fuckin poison now

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:49 | 5114011 q99x2
q99x2's picture

All the banksters will have to do to jump start the economy and ramp stocks and everything, if they ever decide to admit the recession, is to end cold war 2.0. The banker bucks will start rolling in all over again.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:53 | 5114034 CloseToTheEdge
CloseToTheEdge's picture

thats ok...the euopeans'll buy it

they'll need this winter

when the HEATS TURNED OFF

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:53 | 5114036 wtf1369
wtf1369's picture

I endorse this ban. I much prefer Maker's Mark or Lewis Remond, a local spirit of much higher quality.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 09:55 | 5114057 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

You don't even know the difference between Kentucky bourbon and Tennessee whiskey do you? While you may prefer one to another you cannot compare them as equals.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 13:15 | 5114085 wtf1369
wtf1369's picture

Of couse I know the difference I'm just not a fan of the Lincoln County process which is why I prefer bourbon to Tennessee whiskey.

 

Edit: And you're right, Tennesse whiskey cannot be compared to bourbon as an equal ;-)

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:08 | 5114119 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

This means war.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:10 | 5114127 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Dear Russia,

 

No more JD.  Drink windex instead.

 

Love, Vlad

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:21 | 5114199 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

I never drank whiskey for nutritional reasons and never cared much for what the ingredients were, other than alcohol...

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:27 | 5114230 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

Popov: 1.75L @ $5.95

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:40 | 5114301 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

BTFJDD

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:45 | 5114325 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Millions of Russian livers screamed out in ecstasy.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 10:55 | 5114379 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Same shit.

Different country.

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:01 | 5114402 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

If Putin bans Jack, then that's a win for Russian livers.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:14 | 5114458 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

Putin don't know Jack.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:21 | 5114498 Hannibal Barca
Hannibal Barca's picture

Don't care. Drink mr Walker

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:38 | 5114568 Felix da Kat
Felix da Kat's picture

Whiskey is for those who haven't upgraded yet to cognac (CONE-yak). Even the most inferior cognacs are superior to the "best" whiskeys. Hands down; no question about it.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 12:01 | 5114760 css1971
css1971's picture

Disagree. They are just different... Unless you are talking about American "whiskey". In which case you are unreservedly correct.

As a Scot recently vacationing in the Cognac region I can personally attest that they make some very fine spirits... The best of which are never exported due to the relatively low volume production. What you see in your home market is typically (at best) the high volume average stuff.

Cognac seems to generally improve with age and that isn't necessarily true of all whiskys. Whisky peaks at 12-18 years and doesn't always get better after that, but the 30 year Cognacs I tried (well, you have to don't you) were pretty universally superb.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 08:35 | 5115381 Felix da Kat
Felix da Kat's picture

Most cognacs easily out-rate whiskeys. It is just too bad that americans drink what they are told (sold) to drink.  

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:37 | 5114590 bluskyes
bluskyes's picture

The strange chemicals were from the water - or was that JB?

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:55 | 5114724 smacker
smacker's picture

 

Just keep the Beefeaters GIN flowing.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 11:58 | 5114740 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Jack blows. Mediocre bourbon....at best.

PAPPY VAN WINKLE - the best bourbon I ever tasted.

Hell....fucking Evan Williams is better than Jack........

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 14:27 | 5115526 wtf1369
wtf1369's picture

Don't know if you've tried it but as I understand it, you can mix up a reasonable facsimile of Pappy 15 using a pair of Weller's offerings. I have yet to try it but it seems a worthwhile weekend project. http://bourbonr.com/blog/poor-mans-pappy/

And I'll raise you a greenie on Evan v. Jack. Buck for buck Evan's a far better bargain!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 12:10 | 5114805 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

Politically motivated bans are great for rallying the sheeple...that is until you fuck with their good Tennessee whiskey.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 12:15 | 5114832 Arkilokoos
Arkilokoos's picture

World wide Bourbon shortage now solved by Vlad. More for us!  Once again he shows he is far more effective than Barack.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 12:21 | 5114856 oxide
oxide's picture

Suntory (in Japan) has to be quaking. They just tossed out some very serious coinage to acquire the Jim Beam business and family (Maker's Mark, Knob Creek, Bookers, and a bunch of others ...) in hopes of gaining a foot hold in marketing the Suntory brands in Europe and Russia.

Jack Daniels will for ever be in my mind associated with Janus Joplin as her stage prop, not something for the average person to consume.

 

 

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 13:08 | 5115103 SystemOfaDrown
SystemOfaDrown's picture

I'll drink to that!

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 13:38 | 5115294 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Just be smart and leave the Knob Creek bourbon alone.

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 14:04 | 5115423 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

Tequila > Whiskey

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 14:53 | 5115720 nosuchnick
nosuchnick's picture

Shit got serious

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 14:53 | 5115721 nosuchnick
nosuchnick's picture

Shit got serious

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