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Sorry, Angelo Mozilo Can't Be Sued: He Is Sick

Tyler Durden's picture


After years of evading the tentacles of the US government, yesterday the crosshairs of American justice (the civil, not criminal variety) which may be blindfolded but certainly has an offshore bank account, finally locked onto the orange man who made over half a billion between 1999 to 2008, according to compensation-research firm Equilar, not to mention saddling Bank of America with the worst Easter egg M&A transaction in history. Well, it turns out the US government may not be able to sue the Moz after all. The reason? He is sick.

From the NYT:

In 2011, the United States attorney’s office in Los Angeles decided not to file criminal charges against Mr. Mozilo. But in recent months, the office’s civil division has turned the spotlight back on Mr. Mozilo, whose company originated mortgages that went to people with little income to repay them, causing devastating losses for investors who bought the loans.


But a complication has emerged: Mr. Mozilo’s lawyers have cautioned the prosecutors in Los Angeles that their client has a serious illness. The prosecutors have sought Mr. Mozilo’s health records, the people said, though for now the case remains on track.


In a statement, Mr. Mozilo’s lawyer, David Siegel, said that he would “not comment on reported rumors concerning any investigation.” He added, however, that “there is no sound or fair basis, in law or fact, to pursue any claim against Angelo Mozilo. This story has gone on more than long enough; Mr. Mozilo stands virtually alone among banking and mortgage executives to actually have been pursued by this government and already paid a record penalty” to the S.E.C.

So, if he coughs, or mysteriously turns from orange to green or any other random color, you must acquit (pending receipt of a few hundred millions in the abovementioned offshore bank account of course).

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Thu, 08/21/2014 - 12:56 | 5125584 arm50
arm50's picture

ebola, no doubt

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 12:57 | 5125593 Dick Buttkiss
Dick Buttkiss's picture

He is ebola.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:02 | 5125611 pods
pods's picture

It is a rare, incurable genetic disease common among Oompa Loompas.


Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:06 | 5125629 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

Gee I hope he doesn't die a horrible death..... /sarc off

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:14 | 5125659 power steering
power steering's picture

All we care about is that Jamie's bonus is safe.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:22 | 5125675 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

They Are Telling US this One "Folks" Did It All???

Holdder, Where Are All The OTHER 2008 Banksters ?????

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:31 | 5125719 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

Did he also get some presidential cufflinks?

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:37 | 5125745 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Better is to make sure really sick, so please administer adequate dosage of Polonium 210* while is dining.

(* Generic substitution of Cesium 137 is produce similar result. Both is also work on Jon Corsine.)

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:49 | 5125792 l8apex
l8apex's picture

Boris, I would like to be the first to nominate you for the new position of "radioactive flavoring sommelier" 

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:51 | 5125796 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

He stole Jamie Dimon's play.  Watch a few others do the same in the future.  How convenient.

If he's so sick, kill the bastard.  They shoot lame horses!


Thu, 08/21/2014 - 14:00 | 5125833 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

My thoughts exactly. Sue him? Seriously?

Execute the fucker.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 14:19 | 5125924 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Bring the suit on and if he [sadly] passes away then go after his estate, right? There's a half a billion, much of it possibly [probably] wrongfully gotten by him. The loot should not disappear b/c the criminal [alleged criminal, I'm sorry] is dead.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 14:50 | 5126093 Oracle 911
Oracle 911's picture

Serious illness. Maybe something with brain, if we assume he has a brain.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 15:51 | 5126465 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

nothing so complex.......    terminal tanning

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 15:21 | 5126264 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Cheetos throwing in to it: They will begin to market a short orange puffy pillow type snack with a white cheddar tip on it called "Mozilo"

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 14:10 | 5125884 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

Better to see you again on ZH, Boris.

Keep the coming laughs, my ribs are missing you talking.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 14:16 | 5125913 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Here, Monsieur, try some of our finest "Atomska Voda"

It has the power to cure all sorts of ailments.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:09 | 5125642 mvsjcl
mvsjcl's picture

Now that's funny, pods.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:09 | 5125643 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Of course he's sick: he's a sociopath.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:23 | 5125686 power steering
power steering's picture

It's that damned daily diet of fruit bat.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:01 | 5125612 chunga
chunga's picture

And he's not too sick to remember the names of his accomplices at FNMA/FHLMC/HUD/OCC/SEC/CONgress etc., etc.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:26 | 5125699 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

That would become a fatal complaint very quickly.So bad one would have to commit

suicide with six rifle shots to the back of the head.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:27 | 5125707 power steering
power steering's picture

The Feds have no interest in bringing any of these assholes to justice.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 15:39 | 5126397 sandhillexit
sandhillexit's picture

Isn't that what Paraguay is for?

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 15:55 | 5126493 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

even Paraguay has its limits.  

They changed the laws when it got out that the Bush family had bought a huge tract of land there....  The Bush's have since sold their formerly extradition proof retirement home off.

ex-Nazis were ok but the Bush family?... not so much so....

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:54 | 5125812 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Thanks. I know, you would be typing all day to list all of them.

Pigs at the trough. Slaughter all the swine.


Thu, 08/21/2014 - 14:37 | 5126018 chunga
chunga's picture

Geitner, Greenberg, Blankfein, Paulson...

It's impossible to deny there's a pattern here. Almost every single player is a bald headed guy with a pointy face. Timmy has hair but is it real?

Greenspan says it's just "human nature" but look, he's as bald as a cucumber and has a pointy face too!

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 15:35 | 5126338 JRobby
JRobby's picture

"Turbo" Timmy was the ultimate face slap really. They put the dumbest fuck into the precinct closest to the crime scene.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 12:58 | 5125595 ss123
ss123's picture

Hawaiian Tropic overdose?

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:08 | 5125621 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Nah, he caught Obola*.

Now Obamacare has to step in and the DOJ has to step out.

* "Obola", Copyright 2014, Kirk2NCC1701

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:30 | 5125713 Da Yooper
Da Yooper's picture

Lets seeeee my dog ate my hard drive for the IRS

& if someone tries to sue me I can use the " I am Sick" excuse


What a friggen crock of bull


one set of laws for them




another set of laws for the rest of US


getting closer to pitchforks & lampost time


Thu, 08/21/2014 - 14:11 | 5125889 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

Your clock is slow.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 15:34 | 5126358 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

you spelled oompa loompa wrong.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 16:21 | 5126615 MASTER OF UNIVERSE

All criminals, and criminal lawyers, know that 'health complications' can be used as leverage with DAs or Crown Attornies. Mozilo has money

to hire BIG Law which means he can pay the 'cartel's' price to get-out-of-jail-free with the fiat currency that he ripped off from subprime borrowing loans that TBTF was purchasing off of him by the truckload.

Mozilo is not the first criminal to play the 'sick card' and he will not be the last either. Back in the 80s a mafia dude used to walk the streets of Brooklyn in his PJs and house coat with requisite slippers just to avoid going to jail or court. Sociopaths like Mozilo know how to game the system and that is empirically demonstrated by the amount of money he stole outright through subprime loans to Muppets that later went into default and foreclosure. Mozilo's largesse has yet to be felt by society IMHO. Furthermore, we are no longer in a growth model and Mozilo made all his money during the 'good times' so that he would be well leveraged for the bad times that would most certainly follow.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 17:34 | 5127012 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

Do you think he got sick from passing all those notes around like a whiskey bottle at a frat party?  Or maybe from doing too much of the Countrywide Hustle?  Or maybe from sniffing all that white-out he was using to "correct" borrowers' incomes?

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 16:26 | 5126637 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

The 'ole Jamie Dimon Ploy.....

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 18:23 | 5127294 Iwanttoknow
Iwanttoknow's picture

I sure hope so.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 12:56 | 5125586 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

Obamacare not affordable for many: Aetna CEO

Pretty revealing for an Insurance agency...

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:15 | 5125664 knukles
knukles's picture

Not affordable?!?!?!?!?!?
That doesn't even matter when forget what you pay for ObamaCare (CoveredCalifornia) out here none of the doctors or hospitals take the goddamned thing because the reimbursement rates are about naught, zip, zero, nada, end...
Another repetitive lesson in rationing and price controls.
Congrats America, you're the cheapest non-healthcare available anywhere at no price.


Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:45 | 5125770 saveUSsavers
saveUSsavers's picture

Got CA Kaiser Bronze, wife had PET/CT scan said our out-pocket was $895, NOW THEY WANT 2400.00! ***BAIT'N SWITCH***   !

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:59 | 5125835 Raymond K Hessel
Raymond K Hessel's picture

Undo all healthcare legislation and all of sudden CTs are $50 in cash.  

GE sells the same MRI machine to the US for $200,000 that it sells to India for $2,000.  Think about it.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 15:29 | 5126329 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

CTs aren't anywhere close to $50 and our aware that the overwhelming majority of people in India neither have access nor can afford the out-of-pocket costs of a CT scan.

Why the people who act as if we should go back to a cash-predominant system in HC are either imbeciles or cravenly deprived and willing to write off large segments of the population.  

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 12:58 | 5125587 clade7
clade7's picture

Well...that explains everything...If the carrot dont fit, you must aquit...

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:51 | 5125800 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

if he's coughin' up spit , you must acquit . . . . .

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 15:36 | 5126382 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Johnny Ringo: "I want him spitting blood"

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 12:57 | 5125589 Duc888
Duc888's picture




yea, I lost my HDD.


Too funny.


How about jamie?  Has he rotted off the face of the earth yet?



Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:02 | 5125602 alexcojones
alexcojones's picture

Angelo may be Orange, But 7 of 8 of the so-called ad-click

"Trending" T&A babes just below the main stories on Zerohedge

are a shade of Orange Too.

Orange is the New Greenbacks, I guess

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:03 | 5125616 Tim Knight from...
Tim Knight from Slope of Hope's picture

Explorer.......Sage......Dancer. Meet Angelo.

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 13:09 | 5125633 clade7
clade7's picture

Gotta admit, on piss fenders and tatas its attractive...

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