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With Half Of City Residents Delinquent, Detroit Restarts Water Shut-Offs

Tyler Durden's picture


"Utility disconnection is always considered a last resort, obviously because of consequences for households," but as Detroit News reports, but water-providers can expect more controversy, as a month-long moratorium against shutting off water for those behind on their bills expired last night. Halting service to people that don't pay generate outrage among not just Detroit residents but a wider audience who proclaim 'water should be a right'. However, as one utility director noted, "We've seen a lot more payments...They need that little kick in the pants to get in here and do it." Water industry experts say cities with high delinquency rates sometimes have few other effective options for getting customers to catch up on their bills. Roughly half of Detroit’s 170,000 customers were delinquent as of last spring.


Water utilities in Detroit can expect more controversy as Detroit News reports,

...a monthlong moratorium against shutting off water for those behind on their bills expires at the end of the day Monday.


Crews are set to resume water shutoffs Tuesday after weeks of promoting how residents behind on their bills can get on a payment plan or get help paying.


Other Metro Detroit cities, facing a financial pinch from unpaid bills, have gotten results by halting service to people who don’t pay.

With some success...

“Last summer, we shut it off for the first time ever,” Square said. Service was stopped to 150 homes, and 350 other customers paid up to avoid being cut off.


The result: Hamtramck’s water fund now has a $1.8 million surplus, Square said.


“We’ve seen a lot more payments,” said Randall Blum, Eastpointe’s finance director. “They need that little kick in the pants to get in here and do it.”

But [shutting off water], which has produced some positive results,
generated outrage among some people in Detroit and beyond, who say
access to water should be a right

But as the companies themselves note, its simply not viable...

“It’s not viable to let paying the water bill come to be seen as an option,” said Tom Curtis, deputy executive director of government affairs for the American Water Works Association, which represents more than 4,800 water systems nationwide.


“The utilities have an obligation to the broader city to make sure the utility is viable and sustainable to serve all the residents and business,” Curtis said. “You can’t let uncollected bills go on and on without a significant consequence.”


Utilities have fixed costs, and someone must help cover those expenses to maintain service, said Bob Raucher, who studies the economics of water for Stratus Consulting of Boulder, Colorado.


“There’s so much neglected infrastructure and so many regulatory requirements that the problems are compounding. If they aren’t selling water and people aren’t paying their bills, they still have these fixed obligations,” said Raucher. “It’s a real conundrum everywhere. Detroit is an extreme case.”

The numbers remain high...

In a release Monday, the department said about 24,400 residents are on payment plans.


Detroit suspended water service to nearly 17,000 residents from March to late July, when officials temporarily halted shut-offs.Many of those whose service was cut brought their accounts up to date quickly, and their water was restored.


Detroit’s average residential delinquency is $540 and the average monthly household bill is about $75.


Roughly half of Detroit’s 170,000 customers were delinquent as of last spring.




“We give customers a certain amount of leniency in their bills,” said spokeswoman Sarah Holsapple.


“Of course, if they haven’t paid after a certain amount of time, we’d have to shut off their water. That’s our absolute last resort.”

*  *  *
Free water is a right? And so are 49ers season tickets... oh wait.


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Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:30 | 5145655 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Well, too bad they don't have any DowBuck.   You can buy allot of water with DowBucks at 17k+. 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:34 | 5145677 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

"Speakin' of the city, it ain't no place for women. Because pretty men go thar".

WC Fields "The Fatal Glass Of Beer"

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:36 | 5145690 Four chan
Four chan's picture

i live in the city and it would look like ghana if blacks had their way. its not about race its about stupidity.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:38 | 5145704 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Ghana looks like paradise compared to Detroit.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:49 | 5145745 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Water bills up 120% over the past decade in Detroit.

I guess it's OK when they shutting off black peoples water in Detroit (them takers!! 49er tickets ain't free neither!!!) just don't complain when they come after you next. 

Last year the EPA estimated that $335 billion would be needed to fix the country’s aging water supply system in the next few decades, according to the New York Times. But where that money will come from is unknown. 

Wait'll your 'middle class' income gets hit with that...y'all takers! That shit ain't free!!

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:56 | 5145789 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

I don't drink water 'cause fish shit in it. (WCF.)

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:18 | 5145875 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Detroit may become a large scale version of Ferguson if people dont get access to drinking water....and there is nothing the cops can do about that when survival is at risk.

Its funny how many things are going on right now in the world with the blacks. First ebola in Africa, and then the Ferguson shooting and now Detroit. Society is definitely degrading quickly as we speak and the underprivleged and poor are the first ones to get the shaft.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:19 | 5145901 Four chan
Four chan's picture

well there is always paying your water bill. that might be too big a concept for the democrats.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:00 | 5146075 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



Or walk 10 minutes to the Detroit River with a 5-gallon bucket; bring it home and boil it.

Seriously, how did the pioneers ever survive without modern plumbing?...


Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:11 | 5146130 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

The pioneers have all died.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:47 | 5146278 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

The Residents of Detroit need to take by force the GOLAN HEIGHTS of the North, ie the Great Lakes.  Then they will have all the water they need and they can make money charging the Canucks for water after that.  That money will be good for the Detroit economy.  Who cares about the Canucks, they are the Syria of the American continent lol

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 16:57 | 5146550 WOAR
WOAR's picture

Of dysentery.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 21:42 | 5147476 mkkby
mkkby's picture

How hard is it to turn a valve after your water has been shut off?  Long socket wrenches on broom sticks.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 18:19 | 5146895 unemployed
unemployed's picture

Whiners,  just how much cost shifting is going around,  75 a month average for water bill when the same utility says it is 23 a month for water  and 30 a month for sewer.

    Suburban white flighters paying a much lower monthly charge while the folk with the government corporate boot on their neck have to pay more and

    the white flighters frigging Ponzi pensions at the same time?

 This is what happens in any Ponzi,  whether it is the city of Detroit or the money out of thin air US banking system.  the early bag holders have more to complain about,  but rest assured,  the Ponzi is coming to all of us.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 02:27 | 5148160 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Piffle!  Bills only recognize one color:  GREEN!

Pretty sure that Saltine-Americans will get their water shut off too if'n dey don't pay dey billz!

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:36 | 5145971 lester1
lester1's picture

Gotta have those Air Jordans and other bling first !!

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 16:47 | 5146502 SemperFudge
SemperFudge's picture

I'm sure they think it's "funny" too.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 17:28 | 5146696 migra
migra's picture

Then by all means let Detroit burn to the fucking ground so we can start over again and get its current inhabitants sent to Cleveland someplace. 


Burning Detroit to the ground would be an improvement over its current state.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:05 | 5145826 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Wait'll your 'middle class' income gets hit with that..

It is kind of hard to run an office or manufacturing facility when there is no water. Yep, downward spiral.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:10 | 5145862 MalteseFalcon
MalteseFalcon's picture

"Water bills up 120% over the past decade in Detroit."

You'd think Lake Michigan was empty. 

We need water infrastructure projects all over the country.  Print the money, hire and train workers, build the projects and solve the problems.  Perfect solution? No.  Better than printing and handing to banks.  Yes, easily.

Get some hydroelectric power while you're at it.  Save the planet.

But it won't happen, because Nestle and other vultures have other plans.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:31 | 5145940 Professorlocknload
Professorlocknload's picture

How much of that is pissed away by union bureaucracies?

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:54 | 5146024 MalteseFalcon
MalteseFalcon's picture

Who said unions would be involved?

Anyway a lot less than that pissed away by bankers. 

You get a jump started economy in the bargin.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:57 | 5146063 MalteseFalcon
MalteseFalcon's picture

So what's the problem here?  Is it unions or negroes or some other aspect of your ideology?  You'd rather the money go to banks then?

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:55 | 5146299 toady
toady's picture

The problem is all of the above. How about your own well? It's the only way to go as far as I'm concerned. Get on a city grid and you end up with graft. Union graft, (building, maintaining) government, (can't even begin to count the graft there!) citizens, (not paying bills), all fucking each other over the money. My well is free, other than a well pump every 30 to 40 years. If you can't afford that you deserve the system you sign up with, or to die of thirst. Your choice.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 21:48 | 5147497 MalteseFalcon
MalteseFalcon's picture

I'm not sure that individual well water can serve a city the size of Detroit.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 22:10 | 5147575 toady
toady's picture

Good luck city of Detroit then. And any city that requires me to be involved in a group paying for water.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:33 | 5145947 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

No way..according to the Fed, the money they 'create out of thin air' should be used by banks and hedgies run by their buddies like Ackman, Icahn, Fink to buy options on companies about to be bought out or biotech that has leaked FDA announcements....water infrastructure in cities??? that doesnt generate enough returns worthy of THEIR investment...and they probably go "who the fuck cares about the rest of the people if they have access to water or not" as long as money is to be made."

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:53 | 5146042 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Get a map. Detroit gets their water from Lake Huron, the other side of the state.

You are never more than 5 miles away from a body of fresh water when you are in Michigan. More coastline than the entire Eastern Seaboard. So yes, in a way this is ridiculous.

But how's this - Chicago (which does get their water from Lake Michigan) has only a weeks worth of chlorine to treat their water. That's all they keep in stock.

Could get bad.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 17:20 | 5146657 deflator
deflator's picture

 Hey, you know when your tap water has a strong chlorine smell doesn't mean they put too much chlorine in at the treatment plant--it means the water is contaminated. The stronger the chlorine smell, the higher the levels of contamination of probably urine and feces.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:13 | 5145867 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

Hah, that's nothing - in many municipalities CSO runoff can only be fought with exponentially more funding. My blue state coastal community charges me $120/mo for water with the lions share going to the sewerage. Still have beach closures and many red tide stank days. 120% in a decade you say? I think I can beat that to the tune of 300% or more, but I'm white so shut up and pay, right? I should be happy to subsidize someone elses water so their kid can shower before going off to the "free" school breakfast and lunch. 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:37 | 5145969 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Still have beach closures and many red tide stank days. 120% in a decade you say? I think I can beat that to the tune of 300% or more, but I'm white so shut up and pay, right? 

Yeah probably, they've been going after the blacks first, test run of shock and awe cause no one seems to give a shit what happens to them. But don't worry, they're coming for all of y'all. Most here seem aware of the latter but deny the former. 

And where are you located with a 300% move in water prices? Water ain't exactly scarce in detroit, and the demand ain't really there either. 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 16:22 | 5146412 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Just like most places, when ya' use one gallon of water, they charge ya' to dispose of 10 gallons.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:38 | 5145980 snr-moment
snr-moment's picture

So.....the EBT cards weren't free after all?  And repaving roads wasn't the most effective shovel ready job?  Whooda know'd?

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:51 | 5146293 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

"...when they come after you".

I have a well.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 16:02 | 5146331 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Many ways to skin a cat. 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:47 | 5145748 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Sure, they've got a right to water. All they gotta do is take a bucket down to the lake and fetch it.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:09 | 5145856 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

"It's my right! You owe me!"


Black Student Holds Protest After Getting Rejected From University Of Michigan

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:03 | 5146094 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

"Deez whites is oppressed!"

White student sues over affirmative action after being rejected from University of Texas

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:48 | 5146262 knukles
knukles's picture

I'm thinkin' a fuckin' suing everybody because I'm a gettin' tired of all this shit.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:52 | 5146296 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Well, don't get carried away and start suing yourself.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 16:19 | 5146404 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

The FSA sees their "rights" different then most other people. Anyone see the film, "Precious?"

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:10 | 5145859 Chump
Chump's picture


What's that?  It takes time and energy to get that water back home and make it potable?  Funny, that.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:15 | 5145880 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

Yeah - if only they had the time...

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:24 | 5145914 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

Their local restaurants and FF establishments will be packed with peeples using the bathroom and asking/taking water.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:31 | 5145943 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Gyms with their $20 a month memberships and free showers should see a spike. I'd be investing health clubs in and around Detroit right about now or opening a few up myself.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 19:02 | 5147015 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Shower once per day at the gym and drink all you can hold; piss in the street and shit in a coffee can - I like it!

If I can learn to sleep under a tarpoleon I'll be able to ditch the house and mortgage.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:38 | 5146240 Herodotus
Herodotus's picture

Many blacks have an aversion to water.  Most can't swim.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 17:15 | 5146638 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

Your down-voter is an ignoramus:

A 2010 study by the USA Swimming Foundation and the University of Memphis reported that nearly 70 percent of African-American children do not know how to swim. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, African-American children between the ages of 5 and 14 are almost three times more likely to drown than white children. Around 40 percent of white children and 60 percent of Hispanic children do not know how to swim.

Some would rather ignore a problem than acknowledge and address it.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 19:04 | 5147024 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

The reason blacks cannot swim is raycissism.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 20:08 | 5147202 BC6
BC6's picture

H2O is raycisssss!!!

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:48 | 5146020 Oquities
Oquities's picture

it's about the stupidity of a paticular race and their culture

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 17:55 | 5146837 stant
stant's picture

It's off the Russian ,Chinese target list

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:21 | 5145892 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

It's about fuckin' time!  Let Indignant Kirk (as a recent slumlord) tell you how it REALLY works in Motor/Scam City:


1. It turns out, unbeknown to most landlords/owners, that although a tenant may have put the Water Account into their name, that if they do not pay their bills, the City simply charges the unpaid amounts to the Owner -- w/o the Owner of the Property Management Company knowing about it. 

2. And if/when you want to sell the property -- like we did recently -- the Title company won't transfer the Title/Deed until the City is paid in full.  Guess what?  The Title company holds part of the Seller's funds to pay for the Water Bill and pays the delinquent Water Bills.  Fuckers!

3. The Tenants (especially the Sec.8 types) are fully aware of this 'loophole' (Scam!), and purposefully avoid making payments.  "Free Stuff" scams spread like wildfire in that city, especially its Inner City.  Fuckers!  Freeloading Scammers!

/ Gotta love those Sec.8 freeloaders:  Free rent, free food, free Obamaphone, free water, free repairs for stuff they trashed, all kinds of Human Rights, all kinds of Attitude...  What a great place to live, if you're a perma-Welfare case (or Recovering Crack-Ho with "Offspring of uncertain parentage"), or if you're a woman who is raising several Minors (under 18) even though none have the same last name and their "Presumed Daddy" is also living off the Taxpayer in a Correctional Facility.  Is this a "great" country or what!?  Somebody send in fucking ISIS, to clean up that rat hole! /[indignant]

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:34 | 5145957 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Sorry man. The bullshit is impacting everyone.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:38 | 5145975 Professorlocknload
Professorlocknload's picture

Consider yourself lucky, in that you are allowed to individually meter separate units. In my area, only one central meter is allowed for multiple units.

So the tenants run water down the gutter, because it's free.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 19:14 | 5147056 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Land lord lesson 1

Never NEVER pay for utilities. Or you'll walk into the unit in January and it will be hotter than the surface of Mercury - and the A/C will be on as well. True story.

Another cool trick is your renter abandons the lease in February and shuts the heat off or it gets shut off for non-payment.

Nothing like cracked plumbing to lighten your day.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:38 | 5145976 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Ah, "-1".  I see that my Stalker is up and about.  Step up and say something, or FOAD!  Creep.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:40 | 5146250 Herodotus
Herodotus's picture

ISIS would never set foot in Detroit.  They ain't that stupid.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 16:03 | 5146339 Dave Thomas
Tue, 08/26/2014 - 16:28 | 5146417 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

I feel sorry for some of these Cali absentee landlords . My old hood they bought up just about every third house back in 2005-2006 and rented them out. Neighborhood turned to crap. New houses destroyed like public housing. One house had a mother living  in there with her 7 kids. Took the landlord [from San Diego] months to throw them out. I asked the dry wall repair people outside one day what's going on with the repairs and was not surprised when he told me over $22,000 damages...walls, ceilings, fans, windows, and even the floor needed replacement. I took a peek inside....what a filthy destroyed place!


I can just imagne what they'll do when their water up there is cut off and they get thirsty.


PS: [just kidding....I'm not sorry for landlords at all]

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 19:09 | 5147043 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Kirk, is there any reason you cannot burn it for the insurance money?

Sorry, my idealized image of Detroit has palls of black smoke rising as the city burns.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:34 | 5145679 Dr Strangemember
Dr Strangemember's picture

Water... I ain't mad.  As long as I can still get me sum malt liquor 40s, I ain't mad.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:38 | 5145695 lordylord
lordylord's picture

"We've seen a lot more payments...They need that little kick in the pants to get in here and do it."

Maybe the new Nikes were on sale?

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:28 | 5146203 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

No, you would have heard about the riots if that were the case.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:36 | 5145681 lordylord
lordylord's picture

Anyone who doesn't agree with cutting off a service (e.g. water) to people who can't/don't want to pay for it should invite those people into their homes.  It will be just like the Blind Side!  How fun for suburban social justice warriors!!!

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:38 | 5145702 Four chan
Four chan's picture

that is the united socialist nations filling the native's heads with poppycock.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:06 | 5145844 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

I'm a bit surprised to hear that there's still 170,000 water customers left in Detroit.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:42 | 5145928 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Mostly Welfare (sec.8) cases are Inner City "Customers".

I use the term "Customers" loosely, since it implies that they actually pay.  "End Users" would be technically more correct.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 17:03 | 5146565 ChanceIs
ChanceIs's picture

There will be 800K more just after Labor Day when Obama blows Executive Amnesty out of his you know what.  Oh wait.  Those are being relocated to the Hamptons, not Detroit.  An extra 10K to be settled in Martha's Vineyard.  Trouble keeping the putting greens watered and trimmed you know.

I bet the water is better in El Salvador.  Has anybody checked?  I think it rains a lot.

I follow the energy business a lot.  Cruel, creul joke by the green elite 1% on J6P.  All of those subsidies for rooftop solar screw the "little guy" big time.  Maintenance is often priced into the kWhr charge.  You use less powerr because of your rooftop solar, then you pay less absolute $$$$ to the power company and therefore less absolute maintenance dollars.  Maintenance has to be paid - just look at Detroit.  So the maintenance dollars get billed out at higher rate across the board.  And if you be poor and don't have the rooftop, you are paying your connection charge as well as Al Gore's.  Too funny.  NOT!!!!

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:36 | 5145692 Cattender
Cattender's picture

Thank you president OBunga!!! 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:34 | 5145959 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Technically, the SOM (State of Michigan) in Lansing 'pays' for Welfare cases, not Pres. Obola.

IOW, the SOM acts as a State-run "Collection Agency", to collect money from those with jobs and who actually pay taxes.  It is these people who are the Real Payers for this parasitic sub-culture.

But the and Obola are doing their share to "further the cause", of course.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 16:33 | 5146442 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

Ann Arbor and the northern part of Michgan and the west coast are wonderful/beautiful (Sleeping Bear Dunes, Traverse City, cherry orchards, etc) ... the southern part sucks.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:43 | 5145728 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

Either way third world areas tend to have a common smell I'm told. In this regard Detroit will assume it's rightful scent.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:33 | 5145951 rodocostarica
rodocostarica's picture

Here in third world Costa Rica my water is run by the locals from a mountain fed spring a kilometer up the road.  Tested monthly and no flouride and tastes great.

Trouble is it costs me $5.00US a month. No sewar fees. 

No problem with collections as people are honest. 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 19:18 | 5147073 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture


Read a few books about moving to Costa Rica, including Happier Than a Billionaire.

Good for you!

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:43 | 5145730 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

NSA edition double post. What stinks in here? Detroit that's what.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:56 | 5145787 Bloppy
Bloppy's picture

Moar Netflix, Tesla, Priceline, Chipotle will solve ALL of the world's problems, including water shortages, war and poor people in Detroit unable to pay their bills. Silicon Valley has ALL the answers, kneel before them. They are the "disruptors".

Meanwhile, NFL bans "Slap Ya Mama" hot sauce ads during Saints games:

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:58 | 5145801 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

Can someone tell me how this word ("Chipotle") is pronounced?

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:13 | 5145872 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Chi as in chip -minus the p + pot as in the pole with a 't' or tote starting with a 'p' + lay Chi-pote-lay

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:38 | 5145979 rodocostarica
rodocostarica's picture

A good Chipotle sauce is to die for. Of course if you like spicy.

I used to buy this in Mexico which I recomend.

I ran out so yesterday I took out my dried chipotle  peppers from Mexico boiled em up and added a few extra ingrediants and came up with this sauce but much better.

About $1.50 for a liter of it when done. And better than the original.

make your own condiments and save a bunch. 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:47 | 5146281 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

Then why don't they just fucking write, "Chipolay?"

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:46 | 5146007 snr-moment
snr-moment's picture

Guess I was right, for a change.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:57 | 5146058 Oquities
Oquities's picture

chee poat lay

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:18 | 5145897 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Jerry Brown welcomes all Mexicans to come to California and Mexican presidente calls California "the other Mexico."

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:54 | 5146047 tempo
tempo's picture

Come and enjoy all the free stuff provided by the FED financed entitlement programs. CA is always first to get the FED goodies. The cost of illegals is not paid by CA.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:22 | 5145910 tempo
tempo's picture

Why pay for water, you get free food, housing and medical care. Lets be caring and compassionate. Union pensions will be paid by FED.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:59 | 5146065 25or6to4
25or6to4's picture

Who needs water when all you need is purple drank?

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 16:51 | 5146489 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Let's ditch schematics and delcare "privedelge" a right already... though I cannot guarantee the stability of spacetime continuum beyond that point.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:29 | 5145656 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture


So you're telling us Deetroit can and will smell worse?


Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:31 | 5145665 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

What?  No more "free lunch".  Shit, just wait, there won't be anymore water in the fucking lines soon enough.  It's bad enough that most don't want to drink it anyway.  Wak me when they try to make it illegal to collect rain water, and good luck policing that one.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:39 | 5145707 denverdolomte
denverdolomte's picture

I don't know if there was suppose to be a /sarc tag on that last part, but.....


They have city water trucks/cars that drive daily on the streets and in the alleys between houses to check for collection devices. The fines are heavy and I've personally spoke out about the legislation at the appropriate levels of local .gov to obvious no avail. 


Granted with the right enginuity one could develop an internal collection system under their own house and water their gardens with such, but risk heavy penalty if you get caught here in CO. 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:43 | 5145732 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

I thought those hippies were smart?  Please, I lived in Colorado for 15 years, how many people are actually prosecuted?  If you aren't smart enough to work around that, you deserve the fine.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:55 | 5145785 denverdolomte
denverdolomte's picture

I don't believe they're that smart and possibly the poorest foresight of any sets of individuals around. 

No clue how many or if any at all have been prosecuted honestly. 

If I owned I would purchase rights along with said property to eradicate any care of what the state says I can and can't do. 


I understand completely and agree if you aren't smart enough to work around it you deserve said possible fine. Just was pointing out that they do have such laws and they do have vehicles on patrol, at least in my area, looking. Nothing a privacy fence, good plumbing skills, and a functioning brain can't work around though. 


Tue, 08/26/2014 - 18:21 | 5146903 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Interesting that "Developers" can legally collect precipitation for "non-essential" use, yet "using collected rainwater to water a small vegetable garden / greenhouse" is deemed "not an ordinary household use"!!

Underfloor bladder tank (up to 5000 litres), and discrete downpipe diverter valve should do the trick nicely. To be "really sneaky" use flexible 1 inch conduit running into the downpipes at the same point as the pipe securing straps.

Seems a "Law" just asking to be "infringed" by those with a little ingenuity.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:18 | 5146161 PTR
PTR's picture

Chicago.  We muck up a lot, but at least the City is promoting water conservation and discounted (unsubsidized) rain barrels via their main distributor for $60 a barrel.


Until Rahm is overrulled, anyway. (No telling what THAT conversation would be like.)


Until then, feel free to keep your legal pot.



Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:40 | 5145711 TMLutas
TMLutas's picture

It's actually pretty common for property west of the Mississippi to come without water rights and yes, if you don't have those rights it's illegal to collect rainwater. 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:42 | 5145726 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

We own the mineral and water rights to our land in Utah.  We have been down this road with the state.  They can't do shit.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:14 | 5145888 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

Must be because it's already all been presold to CA.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:59 | 5145797 Obama_4_Dictator
Obama_4_Dictator's picture

They have drones now that can record and video private property to see what's going on in your backyard....they are doing that in TX to try to get more tax revenue.....

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 18:29 | 5146922 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Seeing as nude sunbathing is still legal in your State (on private property, mind you) - - and these drones will be fitted with HD or equivalent imaging, one wonders just how many "surveillance missions" (for "your safety" of course) will be used to provide "new material" to the World's largest Porn industry??

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:32 | 5145667 pazmaker
pazmaker's picture

Water?    Drill a well!...after that no monthly bill.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:38 | 5145703 General Decline
General Decline's picture

As long as you pay your electric bill. How deep is the water table in Detroit anyway?

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:50 | 5145761 General Decline
General Decline's picture

And with all the abandoned industrial sites up there, I'm guessing the quality of the ground water isn't too great. A glass of that would probably kill ya. On second thought - drill, baby, drill!

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:51 | 5145767 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Well drilling is prohibited by the city because water is provided by the city. Can't have people getting their own water without government involvement. They might get the idea they don't need governemnt at all.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 19:25 | 5147098 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

How deep is the water table in Detroit anyway?

No idea, but since it's built on a lake I'd have to guess it's rather shallow.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:48 | 5146017 rodocostarica
rodocostarica's picture

great idea and all for it but check first if the water dept. will still bill you for the sewage portion which is usually more than the actual water.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 15:23 | 5146183 rodocostarica
rodocostarica's picture

great idea and all for it but check first if the water dept. will still bill you for the sewage portion which is usually more than the actual water.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:32 | 5145668 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Does "you didn't build/deliver/maintain that" apply here as well, Mr. President?


Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:33 | 5145671 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

What Detroit needs is more statism.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:52 | 5145774 XitSam
XitSam's picture

And unions!

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:05 | 5145835 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

Moar other peoples money!

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:33 | 5145672 asscannon101
asscannon101's picture

There is only one appropriate response: Government-subsidized-subprime water loans for everyone!!

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:36 | 5145686 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

Cool, I'll buy the securities.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:18 | 5145893 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

I'll get to work on securitizing them, and establishing the derivatives market.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:34 | 5145673 oudinot
oudinot's picture

What the total bill arears: $30 $50 million.  Why doesn't some rich celeb pay uit all.  Take the ir left wing mouth bring the cattle not just the big hat.


Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:42 | 5145731 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Maybe they could pour ice water over their heads to promote awareness?

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:02 | 5145814 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

Your point is well taken, but what does this ("Take the ir left wing mouth ...") mean?

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:06 | 5145840 TwoCats
TwoCats's picture

Better Idea:  Front $30-50 million, and buy the rights to collect.  Run credit scores on everybody who owes.  Throw up.  Make up new credit scores.  Then divide the debt into tranches based on the made up numbers and sell it as AAA investments!  Collect 15% in fees and skip town before anybody figures out what you did.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:27 | 5145923 sunnyside
sunnyside's picture

That is so 2005.

I think Goldman owns the rights to that scam anyway.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:34 | 5145674 replaceme
replaceme's picture

I pulled up Detroit on the map (as sort of a joke to verify it was indeed on a river and lake) - all the Google streetview shots look like they were done at a high rate of speed.  Folks grew up there in the 40s, last of our family was out in the 70s, hurts to see how bad it's become.  I say that remembering what it was like in the 70s....

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:34 | 5145680 gdiamond22
gdiamond22's picture

You better bring home the Bacon (I mean water)

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:35 | 5145684 youngman
youngman's picture

Personal responsibility..what a dont dont get any...

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:36 | 5145685 TMLutas
TMLutas's picture

Detroit water serves not just the city of Detroit but 127 other communities. They charge so much for water ($75 is a lot) likely because they are very far behind on pipe maintenance and an above average portion of the water being pumped out of the lake and treated to modern drinking standards is going right back into the ground without ever passing a water meter. They desperately need to collect enough in revenues to start caught up on that pipe maintenance. 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:37 | 5145697 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Many of those abandoned buildings pipes froze resulting in bursts that let 100' of 1000's of water just gush for yrs. thats got to cost something...

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:19 | 5145903 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

Ha ha, good one - collecting revenue and then using it for maintenance.  If they'd done that in the past Detroit wouldn't look the way it does now.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:38 | 5145706 matinee55
matinee55's picture

I wans mo free shit - yo pays foe mi - now

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:39 | 5145712 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

But...But they're owed, aren't they?
At least...that's what I keep hearin'.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:41 | 5145713 DavidC
DavidC's picture

President Obama Slams "Cynics", Tells World "Nobody Else Can Do What We Do".

Great place, America.


Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:40 | 5145717 Captain Willard
Captain Willard's picture

Let me know when cable TV, satellite TV and mobile phone bill delinquencies in Detroit hit the same levels as water bill delinquencies. 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:42 | 5145720 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Free water. Now Detroit should build giant central boilers and a system of pipes to homes and businesses and supply free steam heat. Then next year supply free food. They could also have beer taps to every home and meter it. There is a limit on the free beer though.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:41 | 5145721 Equality 7-25-1
Equality 7-25-1's picture

The Rothschild owned utilities cut water. Coming to your city.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:42 | 5145729 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

Barry will give it to them with a newer model phone.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:51 | 5145766 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

I remember from my Roman history that once a moocher class gets established, it be a most persistent weed.

The city of Rome didn't finally cut off free bread to keep the Roman poor from rioting until the Goth-Byzantium civil war in the 500's.

That's like the history of the US, times 2, on EBT cards.  

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:52 | 5145772 herohedge
herohedge's picture

I think we should only allow Detroit's richest residents to get free water. Their excess in water will eventually trickle down to the rest of Detroit.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:31 | 5145945 corporatewhore
corporatewhore's picture


Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:55 | 5145781 Jason T
Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:58 | 5145786 Lea
Lea's picture

Of course water is a right. That's why human settlements have always started on lakes or river banks, and nobody would have imagined having to pay for the water. Why not make people pay for the air they breathe, while they're at it?

The water per se cannot be sold. The treatment of the water, on the other hand, unfortunately has a cost. But then, in various Third World countries, these predators tend to confuse the two, forcibly take hold of the natural water supplies the people have had free for centuries and sell them back THEIR own water. Disgusting vampires.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 16:12 | 5146374 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Your not actually paying for the water per se, you're just paying for the access to the water which inclcudes electricity to pump it your house, the underground infrastructure to get it to your street, the chemicals needed to treat the water to make it drinkable, the flouride/chlorine to be added to your water, and the sewage fees to process the crap excreted by the customers before that water can be piped out into one of the Great Lakes.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 18:18 | 5146893 Two Feet Studs Up
Two Feet Studs Up's picture

Ha.  Funny you say pay for the air they breathe.  In Mother Maryland, they fucking tax the water that falls out of the sky and lands on your roof.   In Mother Maryland, it is your right to get fucked.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 13:59 | 5145798 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

The entire Detroit MSA is made-up of free loaders.  From GM to sports stadiums. 

It’s a disgusting freak-show. 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:00 | 5145808 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Eventually transfer payments from the productive to the parasites will dry up completely. Should be quite a party. Gather weapons and ammo citizen. If you can't protect your loved ones...what good are ya?

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:03 | 5145816 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Stages of creating a new version of water drought. These clever individuals will manage to tap into city hall fire hydrants, the ones still in operation. 

Remember, don't collect rain water, penalties up to $3,000. All drain off water belongs to the municipality. If caught, moonlighting illegal water distribution. Multiple life term sentences may occur. 

Democratic party fucked up the city. Unplayable promissory notes and the loss of employment workers to cover your city pensions. 

Poetic justice. Why do you think a low labor wage food service industry like BK is moving out of United States? Another corporation just like Detroit auto makers gave you the middle finger. 

The marxists snake keeps devouring it's own tail. 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:03 | 5145818 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

Too bad they can't shut off their fucking O2 as well.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:05 | 5145836 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

Sure, water is (yet another 'right').  Just take your bucket down to Lake St. Clair and take as much as you want.

What's that, you want it piped to your house?  Fine, but that is not a right.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:05 | 5145828 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

Alms, Alms for the poor....  

America, send plastic water bottles while the Detroit River still flows. 

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:08 | 5145849 Smiley
Smiley's picture

Bullish:  Charter busses for riot tourism.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:14 | 5145876 Farmer Joe in B...
Farmer Joe in Brooklyn's picture

The wave of the future...!!  Good call....

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:10 | 5145857 PTR
PTR's picture

40% of the delinquencies are business/non-residential accounts. 


And I've still to see stories about them being cut off.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 14:41 | 5145991 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

Now that is interesting, and something I had not heard.  Here in the Twin Cities, we're starting to hear about very wealthy property owners who are playing games with their public utility and property tax bills, not paying them until they are threatened with shutoff/forfeiture, then paying the minimum to get off the list, then doing it again.  After a few years, they get into 5-and 6-digit arrears.  One guy played the game to the point that his tax and public utility arrears equaled the assessed value of the property and he just walked on it.  He was quite proud of himself.  A millionaire; he easily could have paid the bill the whole time like anybody else.  He just didn't feel like it and thought it was fun to get away with it.

Tue, 08/26/2014 - 16:38 | 5146463 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Property tax is extortion at best.

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