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Caption Contest: "He Doesn't Bite" Edition

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Wonder why last night's Russian-Ukraine talks were a complete flop (as the WSJ explains here)? The following photo of Belarus president Lukashenko promising to Poroshenko that Putin doesn't really bite, should help explain.

 

Source: WSJ

 

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Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:16 | 5148443 Croesus
Croesus's picture

"Tovaresh: C'mon...we are all friends here. Vodka fix everything. My wife is  douche with borscht for perestroika"

 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:17 | 5148452 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Porkyschenko is afraid that Putin will roast his ass and feed him to the dogs.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:17 | 5148458 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Caption:

We don't serve polonium here.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:20 | 5148463 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Caption:  (directed at porkyschenko)

Here piggy, piggy, piggy, SOOOWEEEE....

 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:27 | 5148495 Rakshas
Rakshas's picture

you got a purty mouth boy

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:32 | 5148513 svayambhu108
svayambhu108's picture

Round one fight!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:54 | 5148576 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Don't screw with me.....the KGB is right around the corner.

 

Laugh it up for 1.3 seconds funny man....then you're gonna be done.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 13:16 | 5149784 Hephaestus
Hephaestus's picture

Putin: I see your PR has been a little shaky lately. That reminds me... Do you enjoy the special DMT blend blow we put in circulation for your area? Because<chuckle> I'm pretty sure your spin doctors do!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 21:58 | 5152258 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

L: "No no Porosho.....ve play dis game vit Obama too!   Put neck in dis hand now, and loosen trousers."

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:21 | 5148475 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Caption:

I'LL SHOVE MY DICK UP YOU'RE ASS THIS DEEP WHEN YOUR EU BUDDIES ARE GONE!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 11:04 | 5149146 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

I didn't know Barry was at that meeting. I didn't see him in the pics.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 12:51 | 5149647 ugmug
ugmug's picture

"We threw the baby out with the bathwater. Are you happy now?"

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:18 | 5148469 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

"may i have this dance... then later we can switch"

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 12:34 | 5149577 StandardDeviant
StandardDeviant's picture

What exactly is Putin looking at in this picture?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 21:50 | 5152230 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

A lackey giving his opponent some shit.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:18 | 5148462 old naughty
old naughty's picture

C'mon, be nice  I gave him one pole for his flag, same as you.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:18 | 5148466 Cattender
Cattender's picture

Wait... i heard on CNN that Putin is Very Naughty! (Even considered to be Bad by some)

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:48 | 5148553 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

I say tom-ate-o. You say tom-ah-to.

I say Lukashenko. You say Poroshenko!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:47 | 5148564 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:04 | 5148638 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Brilliant!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:05 | 5148642 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Just got junked by Poroshenko's scrotum.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 11:23 | 5149239 agNau
agNau's picture

"No, it's not that bad. Just Russian neutering machine! You can take it now, or a little later when Nordstream complete."

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:34 | 5148751 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

:) +1000

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:41 | 5148787 gallistic
gallistic's picture

That guillotine needs a larger aperture to fit Porky's gargantuan cranium in there...

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:38 | 5148771 BorisTheBlade
BorisTheBlade's picture

No caption needed.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:49 | 5148821 falak pema
falak pema's picture

WB7's version of the "Sicilian Kiss" !

What could be more eloquent ! 

Brilliant.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 10:10 | 5148914 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

WB7.

Well done. Mrs Atomizer is sitting next to me. She asked me to stop laughing and get myself under control. This is comedy gold

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 10:11 | 5148915 Anarchy 99
Anarchy 99's picture

superb, with Putin holding the rope

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 10:15 | 5148931 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

how do you display flikr pictures ?

 

my trys are always plain txt links :(

Thu, 08/28/2014 - 03:02 | 5152777 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

You are NOT one of the annointed, so buzz off serf!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 10:08 | 5148904 clade7
clade7's picture

"What did I tell you?  At Mens Warehouse, You buy one suit, and get the other two free!"

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:15 | 5148446 LostandFound
LostandFound's picture

What a testicle sack!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:14 | 5148447 Hannibal Barca
Hannibal Barca's picture

hahahahhahahaha this pure Lukashenko guy was trying desparately. He was quite sympathising because, after all, zionist only in the very last moment picked Yanukovich over him ))

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:30 | 5148735 free_as_in_beer
free_as_in_beer's picture

ukraine colluded with the nazi's, i would guess zionist back russia...

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:16 | 5148451 whoknoz
whoknoz's picture

..."Mr. Putin sends you this load of virtual bullshit, with his compliments..."

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:16 | 5148454 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

We need to end this zionist circus with a cage match of Netendefeckenyahoo, all the zio-oligarchs, Obama and Putin.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:25 | 5148725 Otrader
Otrader's picture

As long as they control the joobux in the west, we will continue to finght these silly wars for them.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:16 | 5148455 rucunus
rucunus's picture

Err, you're gonna want to bend over now. It'll actually make it less painful...

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:17 | 5148456 LostandFound
LostandFound's picture

C'mon, he wont turn the gas off, honest!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:17 | 5148460 AdvancingTime
AdvancingTime's picture

At this point Putin holds all the cards, this will become more obvious as winter nears and events unfold.  It seems both Russia and many of the separatist in Eastern Ukraine would support federalization. Surely, no reason exist for Kiev to be opposed other than a loss of power. A more federalized government is also the most plausible way of keeping Ukraine intact.

Support for sanctions is mixed in Europe as some countries fear Russia and have an ax to grind with Putin while others wish to move forward. Saber rattling has only lead to death and destruction.  As I see it little good will come from further bloodshed and it is time for the West to stop sending money to Kiev so they can ramp up the violence and continue the civil war. More on the progress being made in the article below.

http://brucewilds.blogspot.com/2014/08/eu-moving-towards-deal-on-ukraine...

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:52 | 5148578 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Federalization is off the table. Novorossiya has declared independence from the Ukraine.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH35raTPVu8

http://vineyardsaker.blogspot.com/

 

 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:18 | 5148464 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

'Seriously...his dick is this long!'

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:24 | 5148484 LostandFound
LostandFound's picture

==================================D this long?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:22 | 5148465 rccalhoun
rccalhoun's picture

whats going on around putins right ankle?  is he packing or is he wearing a go pro? would a TSA agent notice?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:19 | 5148471 Boomberg
Boomberg's picture

Ok it was just a joke. Putin's gas wasn't really that bad was it? 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:20 | 5148474 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

3 people the world could do without

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:48 | 5148560 venturen
venturen's picture

Obama, Hillary and Kerry? Can I get a bonus of Biden as well?

 

or 

Jamie, Lloyd and Buffet...my bonus Yellen! Or that Isreal who is now running the FED, Fischer

 

So many...

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:22 | 5148476 bigkansas
bigkansas's picture

Want to find out why they call him Vladimir the errect?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:21 | 5148480 I_Am_
I_Am_'s picture

The smug grin on Putins' face says a lot.....

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 10:01 | 5148872 toady
toady's picture

He does look like he's about to bite porky.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:24 | 5148485 jose.six.pack
jose.six.pack's picture

"here, invisible cock... open wide."

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:25 | 5148487 falak pema
falak pema's picture

May I have the first dance, and a Sicilian kiss to go with it?

I know that the second will be a fight to death with my friend on the right ! 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:24 | 5148488 sudzee
sudzee's picture

Look here Porko,  we flipped the coin, you lost so Mr Putin gets to punch you first. Don't worry though cause Obongo has your back.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:27 | 5148494 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Please please give us back our, er the Russians back their lost warriors, compasses from china...

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:28 | 5148496 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Heres your gold you requested. Its lighter than it looks...

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:32 | 5148506 pot_and_kettle
pot_and_kettle's picture

" oh yes he does "

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:36 | 5148507 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

Here here, let me try to pull that gas pipe out of your ass. for you

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:37 | 5148524 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

" Your hands are dirty sir "

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:36 | 5148528 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

No, it's your turn to fart. Mr. Putin has already shit his pants. 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 12:37 | 5148540 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Lukashenko presents the audience with the long awaited physical proof of Russia's involvement in the MH-17 disaster.

 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:41 | 5148543 Last of the Mid...
Last of the Middle Class's picture

Just suck his dick for 1 minute. We won't take any pictures and no one will know. i promise.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 10:03 | 5148880 toady
toady's picture

Just the tip.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:43 | 5148548 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

He doesn't bite but his stare is worse than Medusa the Gorgon.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:43 | 5148554 news printer
news printer's picture

Russia, USA held secret Ukraine talks in Finland

Representatives of Russia and the United States in Finland held unofficial talks in late June in Finland on the situation in Ukraine.

They met on the Böstö Island off Loviisa and Kotka. The meeting was first quoted by the Russian newspaper Kommersant which was recited by a US daily, the Atlantic. “In an effort to break the impasse, a group of American and Russian experts and former officials—including an ex-director of Russia’s Foreign Intelligence Service and a top Russia adviser to George W. Bush—recently met on an island in Finland,” the Atlantic reported.
http://www.finlandtimes.fi/national/2014/08/27/9550/Russia,-USA-held-secret-Ukraine-talks-in-Finland
Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:26 | 5148726 TweedleDeeDooDah
TweedleDeeDooDah's picture

After which, this had to happen:
"Finland Upgrades NATO Ties"
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2014-08-27/finland-upgrades-nato-agreement...

Finland as "knowing what's better for it" by playing nice with Russia?...
Another "ZH-tard" (they know who they are, not ZH-ers in general) myth broken...

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:44 | 5148557 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Come give daddy a little hug..

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:50 | 5148568 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Khazar Jew PUSSY!

 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:49 | 5148569 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Said the Spider to the Fly, "Won't you come in to my parlor?"

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:51 | 5148572 oudinot
oudinot's picture

Poro, he just wants a little blood from your voluminous neck.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:53 | 5148582 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

What happens when you put Putin next to two ...shenkos? You get a touché-nko.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:00 | 5148615 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

BaDumpBump - Tshshshshsh.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:06 | 5148646 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Vlad holds football, you kick football.

For real this time.

Come on.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:08 | 5148648 zzzddd1
zzzddd1's picture

Emperor Poro-Nero we burnt MH17 and East of your empire,

any other orders?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:09 | 5148647 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

"Come, now. Show us the size of your manhood. We need good laugh."

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:14 | 5148670 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

It's called Rochambeau. We settle everything now.

Because you called 'sickle' on the coin toss, and it came up 'hammer', Vlad goes first.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:15 | 5148680 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Looks like he's going for the old left hand ass grab / right hand sack cradle combo, and from the giggle coming out of Putin, I'm guessing he paid him to do it. 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:34 | 5148748 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

"Invisible Nobel Peace Prize"

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:35 | 5148759 Kina
Kina's picture

...oh but he does bite.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:39 | 5148775 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

"No, my dog does not bite......  But zat eez not my dog."

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:42 | 5148789 hoist the bs flag
hoist the bs flag's picture

 okay...not a caption: what country, owns that commie flag in the background ( the one with the wheat and "dawn of a new day" solar motif and "workers of the world unite") ? 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:54 | 5148837 fel.temp.reparatio
fel.temp.reparatio's picture

looks like the belarus flag complete with its national emblem

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belarus

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 11:32 | 5149277 hoist the bs flag
hoist the bs flag's picture

thank you...and whoever junked me for an honest question... fuck off.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:45 | 5148805 Miner
Miner's picture

This war ends when the EU gets its first cold snap with no NatGas.  That's the show stopper.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 11:08 | 5149153 Tursas
Tursas's picture

2 more months anf they feel the air turning chilly, 2 more and they have no more clothes to add, 2 more and they have burned everythuing they find, 2 more and fortunate ones can see the sun coming higher and higher and the beginning of a new spring... 

Most in the West will never understand the Russian nature and the land they occupy.  For a while the lucky one Chenghis Khan thought he had it while all the others like Napoleon whithnessed the sudden end of their expeditions when they met Father Xmas.  

Father Xmas is always generous to everyone.  Even the ignorant foreigners get their full share of his "chilly" air, freezing rain, forevr blowing and blinding snow and ice.    

The unprepared - means all outsiders - can never believe how generous Father Xmas can is.  Countles armies from East, West, South and even North have ventured to take over these lands and the riches from the primitive and ignorant people like they are portrayed but something does not work, It does not matter how big the egos commanders have or how much better their armies are when they come - the end is decided during the last 100 meters where Father Xmas always sides the ones who know him. 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:47 | 5148816 gallistic
gallistic's picture

Why so serious?

 


Wed, 08/27/2014 - 10:12 | 5148825 barre-de-rire
Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:51 | 5148830 eddiebe
eddiebe's picture

Ok., so I have a comb-over, but at least I don't look like a pig.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:58 | 5148852 fel.temp.reparatio
fel.temp.reparatio's picture

"No, seriously... I won't let him cut in. This is your [swan] song."

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:57 | 5148859 smacker
smacker's picture

Putin should have thrown Poroshenko around the floor a few times to soften up negotiations.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 10:03 | 5148881 Don.Quixote
Don.Quixote's picture

This is how I picture what ensued: https://vine.co/v/MW2BWlWTbjU

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 10:05 | 5148894 sbenard
sbenard's picture

LUkashenko -- still a true believer in communism!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 10:08 | 5148905 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

"I am the great Cornholio. You will give me TP for my bunghole"

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 10:29 | 5148988 wtf1369
wtf1369's picture

"I promise, this'll only hurt for a little while...."

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 10:39 | 5149026 geno-econ
geno-econ's picture

Come on, join our Club of Thugs who have been in power for decades.  What you say? ---but you are much richer than us Thugs ??   So make up your mind----more power or more money ?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 10:58 | 5149087 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Caption:

"The snipers need you to stand here on the x on the floor."

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 17:19 | 5149118 TomGa
TomGa's picture

"Truly his dick is this long, Poroshenko, so don't stand too near him. And I'll tell you this now, in the end you will get screwed and you will not like it, but that Russian bear will enjoy it immensely."

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 11:14 | 5149190 vyeung
vyeung's picture

Pussy, that's the kind of leader this moron choco factory mofo is. If he man'ed up, he could just tell those mofo's fascist/Nazis in DC/EU to f off and stop the killing.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 11:15 | 5149191 djcando
djcando's picture

"So if we just pretend to get along, we can get even more money from 'Horseface' and 'Obozo' "

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 11:22 | 5149212 Obamanism
Obamanism's picture

And in the Blue Corner weighing in at 230 lbs the Uber Ukraine ............... Lets Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumble

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 12:10 | 5149448 The Blank Stare
The Blank Stare's picture

If this is your first time at Russian-Ukraine talks, you hafta fight!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 12:44 | 5149623 AgeOfJefferson
AgeOfJefferson's picture

Mafia boss, Poodle.

Rusky boss, Pitbull.

No way!!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 12:59 | 5149703 viedoklis_lv
viedoklis_lv's picture

"Come on! You will get used to his farts, as we all did!"

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 13:05 | 5149736 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture

No gas, no chocolate ........ you gonna squeal like a pig boy

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 13:46 | 5149970 RobertPaulsson
RobertPaulsson's picture

Hey, Dr. Phil is doing diplomatic work now! Cant be any worse than Kerry I suppose?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 17:14 | 5151242 Idaho potato head
Idaho potato head's picture

Petro, the size of the lies you've been telling id huge!

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