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Chinese Developers "Destocking" Desperation: Bikini-Clad Model Car Washes, iPhones, & Alibaba Discounts

Tyler Durden's picture


We have presented numerous examples of the turmoil under the surface of China's unprecedentedly placid GDP headlines but, as The FT reports, the desperation of property developers should be the biggest canary in the coalmine that all is not well. Developers began cutting prices this year but have so far failed to revive flagging volumes and so are increasingly resorting to creative sales tactics to drum up interest. From discounts on Alibaba purchases up to $325,000 to car-washes by bikini-clad models, as "putting full effort into destocking has become the common choice of most developers. They’re still not optimistic about the market situation." So why are US investors so upbeat about China's 'recovery'?


As The FT reports, things are not well in the China real-estate market...

Residential property sales fell 9.4 per cent in floorspace terms in the first seven months of the year compared with the same period in 2013, according to government statistics.


Developers began cutting prices this year but have so far failed to revive flagging volumes. More than 30 cities have also removed purchase restrictions introduced in 2010 to restrain price growth amid public anger over high prices.

And developers are desperate...


Developers are increasingly resorting to creative sales tactics to drum up interest.

In the latest sign of Chinese developers’ desperation to unload inventory into a weak property market, China Vanke Co is offering discounts of up to $325,000 to homebuyers who shop on Alibaba’s Taobao, an e-commerce platform.


The country’s biggest developer will give discounts that match shoppers’ spending of up to Rmb2m ($325,000) on the eBay-like service. Homes in real estate developments in Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Chongqing, among other cities, will qualify, according to an advertisement on Taobao’s website.




An office tower in Henan province offered car washes by bikini-clad models to people who referred a friend to the building’s account on WeChat


A residential developer in Wuhuan offered new iPhone 6s to potential buyers who showed up at the sales office.

Not exactly signs of optimism...

“Putting full effort into destocking has become the common choice of most developers. They’re still not optimistic about the market situation,”


The inventory build-up may get worse before it gets better. Several developers noted in their recent half-year reports that September and November will be a peak period for new housing completions. That will add to the supply overhang and increase pressure on developers to cut prices.

*  *  *
But apart from that... China's PMIs say everything's great, right?


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Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:36 | 5150747 Deathrips
Deathrips's picture

I have a dollar for the tits and ass....and none for the crap i dont need.


The T&A will not be paid in metal either. I can imagine a 500$ an hour hooker with a wheel barrow...thinking shes rich.





Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:41 | 5150768 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture


Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:51 | 5150794 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

I clicked this article for the picture and found lots of words. This is obvious fraud.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:52 | 5150828 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture



Sales of merchandise usually fall in 3 categories:

1)  The product is needed immediately so the buyer buys it with either cash or credit.
2)  The product is not needed immediately but wanted, so the buyer may buy if better credit terms or price discount are offered.
3)  The product is a POS and no one wants it, so another product of seemingly "higher" value is given along with it to entice a sale (ie vacation, iFad)

A residential developer in Wuhuan offered new iPhone 6s to potential buyers

double lmao!!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:54 | 5150849 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Article from 2013. I don't think much has changed in their favor.


Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:58 | 5150887 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Anything so innocent and built like that just gotta be named Lucille.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:20 | 5151015 NoDecaf
NoDecaf's picture

Am I the only one who clicked on this looking for the gratuitous bikini car wash photo?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:22 | 5151023 giggler321
giggler321's picture

Sold - where do I sign?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 21:32 | 5152157 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"A residential developer in Wuhuan offered new iPhone 6s to potential buyers

double lmao!!"


No Spiderman towel?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:56 | 5151175 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

No - Not alone and I'm very pissed off at the lack of "Truth in Advertising"

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 18:49 | 5151602 Implied Violins
Implied Violins's picture

Same, I only come here any more for the porn. Everything else scares me shitless.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 19:30 | 5151730 Redneck Hippy
Redneck Hippy's picture


is all they serve here at hedgless zero.  Or didn't you know?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 17:07 | 5151216 MalteseFalcon
MalteseFalcon's picture

There is nothing desperate about 'car-washes by bikini-clad models'.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 18:14 | 5151463 4shzl
4shzl's picture

"Anything so innocent and built like that just gotta be named Lucille."

Thank you, Joe -- you made my day. ;>)

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:55 | 5150859 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Funny, I don't find that 31% drop nearly as scary as the 250% rise that preceeded it. Why are smart people so fucking stupid?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:53 | 5150839 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

just go ahead and forcibly relocate those 1.6 billion eaters into the agenda21 potemkin villages already

missus ted turner


Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:56 | 5150855 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

I fast forwarded through the video - - - no bikini car wash girls.

How do you say 'Freakin' rip off ! " in Mandarin ?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 17:41 | 5151326 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

chicky dow main!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:19 | 5151013 SILVERGEDDON

You are correct, sir. 

False advertizing, is what it is !

Pitchforks, torches, tar, and feathers is the appropriate treatment for the malefactors responsible.

At least one money shot, fer chrissake, you would think.

Pissed Off on the Left Coast.  

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:21 | 5151022 imapopulistnow
imapopulistnow's picture

Y U no show bikini girls?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:14 | 5150978 Dr Strangemember
Dr Strangemember's picture

"Hey Ladieeees!!"

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:37 | 5150750 Boomberg
Boomberg's picture

Isn't there more Jessica Alba news to report?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:43 | 5150779 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

Alba, Alibaba. Close enough

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:52 | 5150833 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

Go watch Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill for and you'll get your Jessica Alba fix. She cant act her way out of a wet paper bag but its still worth it.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:39 | 5151120 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

Alba is gorgeous but Eva Green even moreso.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 17:09 | 5151224 MalteseFalcon
MalteseFalcon's picture

She can act her way out of a wet t-shirt!!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:41 | 5150769 gdiamond22
gdiamond22's picture

Awesome - Buy a home in our ghost city and we'll give you a few chicks you can't touch and a fake Iphone 6

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:45 | 5150792 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

Sounds like LA.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:42 | 5150777 Kirk2NCC1701
Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:55 | 5150862 agstacks
agstacks's picture

Nsfw -1

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:58 | 5150890 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I should learn to pronounce URLs better (at least I took off the search query first).

For those others similarly afflicted, you might wait until you get home.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:44 | 5150782 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

A developer offered new iPhone 6's? Out in China already apparently.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:44 | 5150784 blu
blu's picture

I see the Chinese didn't improve on "capitalism" much. Still greased by artfully-arranged female fat.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 19:10 | 5151667 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

I would say "show us your tits" but I see you already did.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:47 | 5150797 Magnum
Magnum's picture

Chinese women are really sexy in my opinion.  This might work!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:51 | 5150829 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Nah, Chinese women are not sexy. Some KTown women are hot as long as they are not Catholic. I prefer japanese women.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:57 | 5150885 Magnum
Magnum's picture

In Shanghai a few weeks ago.  Not sure what KTown is but Shanghai women are very, very sexy this time of year it's a leg show.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:38 | 5151048 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

Yellow Fever since my first trip to the Phillipines, 1984.  China is in many ways like the USA 1950's. Think Mad Men - work hard and play hard and the old-fashioned virtues still apply.  I love my time over there.

The Chinese ladies have in the past ten years, due no doubt to superior protein diets, developed asses.  I remember in the mid-90's it was rare to see one whose backside did not merely appear to be the extension of her back upper leg.

Their hygeine standards are imvho higher than white girls because they taught, without shame, how to maintain themselves.  And many of them retain the virtue of wishing to please their man and enjoy doing so.  Never back for this white boy.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:47 | 5150800 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Hell, I'd require all three of those girls for the night to buy an iPhone 6; and it would be a long night.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:51 | 5150825 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

I would give them the best 2 minutes they ever had. 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:51 | 5150834 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

2 minutes! Quit bragging; no one likes a showoff.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:54 | 5150847 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

I was rouding up by 1.97 minutes. Sorry. 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:58 | 5150864 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Haven't you guys been watching the Cialis and Viagra commercials?  Four hour erection!  Why would I call the doctor?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:02 | 5150912 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

If I have an erection that lasts for more than 5 minutes 2 things have occured. 

1. I have found a way to control time. 

2. I am having sex with Nell Carter. 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:16 | 5150988 hoist the bs flag
hoist the bs flag's picture

5min?! whew... that is a long time. I myself, am I regular five pump chump. go long testoterone therapy.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:25 | 5151037 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

At around the 4 minute mark I start thinking about pizza and watching Rockford Files reruns. 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 20:12 | 5151913 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

LOL. U guys are a riot. Another major reason to come to ZH to get all my world news, danger porn and blue balls.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 17:48 | 5151357 Rumple4skin
Rumple4skin's picture

So would I - but only if I had a knot in my shoelaces...

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:48 | 5150805 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

Chinese women don't have asses like those.  I call foul.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:06 | 5150928 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

the Mongolian region girls do .. and boobies too ...the most sort after in China

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:53 | 5150838 RacerX
RacerX's picture

so should it read "flaccid" GDP headlines instead of "placid"?

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:53 | 5150840 Rompoculos
Rompoculos's picture

You will lose all your money in this market. Those asses though...

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 15:58 | 5150878 BGO
BGO's picture

"...why are US investors so upbeat about China's 'recovery'?"


Because, just like May-O-Naise in the movie Officer and a Gentleman, "[they] got nowhere else to go."

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:01 | 5150913 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

And these are the people (Chinese) who own the currency which will unseat the $.


Seems weird. 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:13 | 5150973 hoist the bs flag
hoist the bs flag's picture

I cum here for the "Bikini clad car wash models"...and nuthing. Back to fapping to pics of Jessica Alba i guess.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:14 | 5150984 seek
Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:55 | 5150992 hoist the bs flag
hoist the bs flag's picture


Wed, 08/27/2014 - 17:03 | 5151182 CerpherJoe
CerpherJoe's picture

Went to the comments knowing someone would have that. ZH readers are the most knowledgeable in the field.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 18:05 | 5151427 Beatscape
Beatscape's picture

Good work, seek.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 23:26 | 5151955 Salsipuedes
Salsipuedes's picture

They do a great job but you gotta give 'em the car!

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:28 | 5151054 Cow
Cow's picture

itoaster next

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:32 | 5151070 Cow
Cow's picture

something ironicar about everyone coming here to make fun of Chinese going to see sheety rear estate, when all anyone wanted to see was Bikini crad women washing cars. 

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 16:50 | 5151159 homiegot
homiegot's picture


Wed, 08/27/2014 - 17:08 | 5151219 Fuku Ben
Fuku Ben's picture

Welcome to the 1990's China

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 20:22 | 5151434 Salsipuedes
Salsipuedes's picture

Our Fearful Leaders think the hooker they got down to $1.50 after "a tough, two hour negotiation", signals "a competitve marketplace, driving GDP while at the same time stabilizing decreasing demand through our most aggressive GMO programs, yielding significant ancillary benefits to our Health Care Conglomerates and residual, affirming support for the great American Work Ethic (A.W.E.) Act."

*(see details for more about the new - cumpulsory - AWE Programs at your Post Office. Look for your picture on the wall and tattoo the 9 digit code anywhere you don't already have tattoos.)

 Parking only $20. for the first 10 applicants!  If you apply directly at the Penitentiary, parking is FREE but your car will become Government property after 72 hours (and you'll still have to finish paying it off.)

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 19:17 | 5151688 Pumpkin
Pumpkin's picture

I thought this article was about a car wash.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 19:32 | 5151739 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

ZH often teases users with a cute girl icon picture that is not in the expanded article. A teaser hook.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 21:31 | 5152156 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

A larger version of the bikini car wash picture can be found on the first page of google image searches for 'bikini car wash'.... Note the bikini females are not remotely chinese.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 19:22 | 5151701 bitterwolf
bitterwolf's picture

lmfao- ALL smart chinese money flow's west young and connected that is.... since the PARTY says no to moving renembi offshore legally.

ohhhhh but its such a superior society...till you peek under the hood lol

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 19:35 | 5151753 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Don't forget spiderman towels.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 19:37 | 5151760 db51
db51's picture

Yep, that was a huge let down.   However, from the tiny pics of T & A in the teaser I'd be all in on a Zero Down Interest Only Loan on one of those properties.   Hell, if you got to use 3 of em till they found out you weren't going to make the first re-fi date, you'd probably still be able to squat in the house until the forclosure took wait.....they'd simply execute you in China.   forget about it.  If this tactic catches on in Ferguson Missouri I'm checking it out.   3 Bikini Car Wash Girls and $ 500.00 for a 2 BR across from the Quick Stop....Sweet.

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 20:07 | 5151886 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

I heard there are some real buys in the Ferguson area right now... fire sale!

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