This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
Sometimes 0% Is Better Than -82%
The Best Investment Article Ever Written:
You want winners? You want me to put my Cramer Berkowitz hedge fund hat on and just discuss what my fund is buying today to try to make money tomorrow and the next day and the next? You want my top 10 stocks for who is going to make it in the New World? You know what? I am going to give them to you. Right here. Right now.
OK. Here goes. Write them down -- no handouts here!: 724 Solutions (SVNX), Ariba (ARBA), Digital Island (ISLD), Exodus (EXDS), InfoSpace.com (INSP), Inktomi (INKT), Mercury Interactive (MERQ), Sonera (SNRA), VeriSign (VRSN) and Veritas Software (VRTS).
We are buying some of every one of these this morning as I give this speech.
And then this...
* * *
Sometimes - it would appear - 0% is better than -82%...
* * *
h/t @RudyHavenstein
»
- 39835 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
Booyah?!
when u lose your pants investing in Cramer's stock picks and go broke. I am sure he will have a seminar for all those people suing him and he will be touting his law firm Cramer Berkowitz LLC for your services.
"Should I be worried about Bear Sterns liquidity and get out of there? NO, NO, NO!"
"Bear Sterns is not in trouble!"
"Jim Cramer has NO IDEA!"
That any losses have ever occurred due to his advice.
Brings to mind those stupid adverts about the Lotto, "You gotta be in it to Win it".
Ofcourse they don't go on to say "You gotta be in it to Loose it". They way things are going; the latter does not apply and either way you loose...
until jim cramer (where did he get that christian name???) came along the term "douchebag" was gender specific.
His yields are still 18% higher then my wife on a shopping spree
The thing that MOST concerns me is he doesn't need to be doing what he's doing he could have boated off into sunset ten years ago but for whatever reason he craves the attention and he's a true psychopath for it all
He injoys sucking Yellen off. Be careful, don't want to get throte cancer like Jamie diamond
Europeans are doomed as explained here.
....and a 10% INCREASE in Canadian Silver Maple Leaf Sales is better than a -51% decrease in Gold Maple Sales 1H 2014.
SURPRISING UPDATE: Canadian Silver Maple Sales Stronger Than Last YearSRSroccoReport
Cramer's most famous call...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPc16cuQJR0
Welll... he was sort of right, right? He said they're more likely to be taken over - and it was then taken over by JPM.
It is very OK to trust this man - he fights for the little guy. Oh, wait. Nevermind. He is a scumbag shill / contrarian indicator.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMShFx5rThI
Welll... he was sort of right, right? He said they're more likely to be taken over - and it was then taken over by JPM.
Technically you are right, although I believe the price was $2.00 per share when it had been trading at $80.00... Hardly a coup for Cramer...
The interesting question:
Why is such an incredibly incompetent person like Cramer paid a high salary by a financial TV-outlet?
The only answer that makes sense is: it's not competence that matters for them. But if competence does not matter, what is it, what Cramer and the TV-outlet are about...
As long as his show gets decent ratings it will stay on. It is a cheap show to make and they don't care if everyone watches only to laugh at him, as long as they watch.
He's a tribal first and foreskinmost. That should tell folks something.
There are clearly ulterior motives at work (and some general socio/psychopathy, on that I don't disagree) in this charade.
"they have NO idea how bad it out there"
"They have NO IDEA how bad it is out there--NO IDEA" there, fixed it for you.
B-cup burnett is on CNN now, unless the layoffs get her.
A cup burnett is on CNN now, unless her greedy me me me gets her.......fixed it for ya !
She has a pretty face and seems bright, but damn that greedy me me me bitch.
"Seems" - She seems like a teenager who is incredibly impressed with herself..
Or my wife hosting a garage sale.
It's LOSE sonny, Loose ain't the word.....!
1.
free or released from fastening or attachment:
a loose end. 2.
free from anything that binds or restrains; unfettered:
loose cats prowling around in alleyways at night. 3.
uncombined, as a chemical element. 4.
not bound together:
to wear one's hair loose. 5.
not put up in a package or other container:
loose mushrooms. 6.
available for disposal; unused; unappropriated:
loose funds. 7.
lacking in reticence or power of restraint:
a loose tongue.
There's also loose women.
Bob: "I might ask out Amber. I heard she's pretty loose."
Joe: "Yeah, she's given more rides than Greyhound."
The only good thing I can think about Cramer is .........at least he has no " I have no hair, so I will have a tiny pony tail and will show all the poor bastards who are forced to have CNBC running in the background my option prowess while my hair dresser braids my meager pony tail and replay ad nauseum"
If I were a casting director auditioning people for the role of angry penis with a beard, I'd skip the try-outs and go straight to Cramer.
You give him waaaay too much credit.
Edit: Maybe Hedwig and the angry inch, he could be the inch...
He reminds me of Paul Giamatti (Pig Vomit), Howard Stern's Program Director in 'Private Parts'.
"But if they hate him, why do they keep listening to him??"
"Most common answer: I want to hear what he says next."
"That mother fucker!"
Short Cramer....or is that redundant?
i was too stupid to resist a CRAMER CRAMER CRAMER headline.
now i've wasted my time and made the zhedge wealthier.
who's as stupid as cramer, zhedge, or me?
let's go lower and find out.
-82% ? Haa. a mere flesh wound. We have not yet begun to fight.
No doubt. He could still lose another 82%. Then another. Then another.
Honestly, he's got a long ways to go at this rate.
When you go that far under, do you create a credit event horizon?
Oh wait, guess the USA will find out...
Credit Event Horizon. Nice turn of phrase there, MsCreant...
TSLA, FB, TWTR....
Grab a pen!
who listens to this clown
People watch Cramer like the entertainment at a Casino.
Buy buy buy
Bye, Bye Bye - to all of my money
I only invest with the Bronco Bama fund, he called the bottom.
Still waiting for Jay Carney LLC
Same as his charitable fund. It is the size of my mothers PA ($2mm) and he has a co-cio on it.
He is part of the CNBC "expert" army. We really aren't wealthy HF investors/titans of business we just play them on TV.
Best thing one can do when that muppet comes on any channel is turn TV off.
only bigger idiot has to be Kernen Claptrap
My wife is a RAZOR when it comes to reading people and assessing their character. She can figure people out in minutes that it takes me days or weeks to discover. Years ago, she told me she never wants to see Cramer on our TV ever again. "He's a horrible little person, and I think he's got 'issues'", she said. Chalk another one up for the wife.
Joe Kernan got off more lightly. "I don't think he's nearly as smart as he thinks he is. And he keeps talking over his guests. I think he's a lightweight."
And I'm married to this woman.
You don't want to know what she thinks about me.
Over heard at the market by your wife speaking to a friend.
"Were human" "We all make mistakes"
"My wife is a RAZOR when it comes to reading people and assessing their character. She can figure people out in minutes that it takes me days or weeks to discover."....
And yet, they can't change a lightbulb, or check the oil in their car... just saying.
Classic post, NoDebt.
NoDebt,
+1000. Your wife sounds like mine, except Mrs Atomizer judges by voice tone. When I get in the Zerohedge blogging doghouse, she just calls me a goddamn piece of shit . ;-)
The first thing I learned from one of the best retail brokers Smith Barney ever employed (waaaayyyyyy back in the day) was:
If someone actually found a way to consistently earn higher returns than a random walk or the S&P Index average, WHY WOULD THEY EVER TELL YOU ABOUT IT?
like the ranaissance fund?
"WHY WOULD THEY EVER TELL YOU ABOUT IT?"
Buffet does and nobody listens.
Cramer and his "investment" show emphasize the need to be "doing something" every day. Buy, Buy, Buy. Sell, Sell, Sell.
Who are his advertisers? TD Ameritrade, Scott Trade...you get the picture.
Buffett says buy good companies significantly below intrinsic value and sit on your ass and wait until Mr Market comes to your earlier conclusion.
Too easy, so nobody does it.
I recall like it was yesterday the day Jim Cramer went on CNBC during the depths of the downturn and says "We must remember the Weimar.. we must rebuild confidence because if we do not the masses will begin pointing their fingers toward the Street and the Bankers..."
So it's all about putting a positive spin on every thing to Cramer.. Just make believe and pretend that debt doesn't matter...
I'll be honest with you.. Cramer is a disgusting criminal and I woudn't lose a wink of sleep if his head was beat in with a ball bat.
"...I woudn't lose a wink of sleep if his head was beat in with a ball bat."
Well, kicked in the nuts, anyway.
Like Jerry Lewis, they think he is a comic genius in France.
Wait now, seriously, he's NOT a comedian?
...which, for the most part, explains the French
If I was still in the market, I'd be shorting the shit out of anything that shill was pumping. Looks like a great strategy to me!
-82% and the S&P keeps hitting new Fed-fueled records in the same time frame. Jesus.
Pump & Dump
Hump a chump.
Jim Cramer is a cock gobbler.
No Honey, he doesn't gobble, he just sucks.
FB, TWTR, .... You can't go wrong.
I knew investing had finally "jumped the shark" when stock recommendations were delivered by a loud fucktard with accompanying sound effects.
AU, AU, AU...write that down....then pick some up!
Cramer Berkowitz ____________________________________________________________________ (10 foot barge pole) The clue is in the name.
What a list of crap, jeebus!
Berkowitz got into T.V. for a reason it appears.
Cramer's living proof there's reptilian shapeshifters amongst us.
CNBS'n it since 2005...
So take his list and sell it short....profit!
Cramer is the poor man's (sic) Slappy White. No offense intended to Slappy, rip.
Slappy's just thrilled your Alzheimer's hasn't erased him yet.
This asshole should be behind bars.
Oh yeah that's right, I almost forgot, he can get away with doing this to Americans because...he's special.
reposted from another post ....
.
Caravan To Midnight - Episode 110 Capital Kinetics with Greg Morse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmJKrhWucC0
I hope they do a reality show when he's living in his car again
Grab a pen.
Okay, ready?
Never trust governments.
Never trust corporations.
Never trust advertising.
Never trust marketing.
Never trust celebrities.
Never trust television.
Never trust authority.
Never trust radio.
The one exception to the rule. Trust the X-Files slogan:
TRUST NO ONE.
In other words, do not trust human beings. Trust Math,
Bitcoin , BTChez......
Jurat Affidavit Of Gregory C. Morse In Support Of IRS Form 211 & SEC Form TCR Filings
4. The Securities Fraud, Tax Fraud and Tax Evasion perpetrated by the majority,
if not all, of the banking, financial, ratings and legal entities,
agencies and firms involved in the illegal securitization and trading of fraudulent RMBS
(and illegally taking advantage of the REMIC tax exempt feature of Federal Law and the IRS Code),
and simultaneously committing financially motivated RICO fraud activities, has resulted in the outright and direct theft of hundreds of billions, if not trillions, of tax dollars from the United States
Treasury and has resulted in the well -documented amassing of $700-800 trillion dollars of worthless long term RMBS debt
resulting from the multiple trading of these illegal and worthless securities.
DESTROYED AND SHREDDED DEEDS OF TRUST, MORTGAGE TRUSTS,
Real Estate Mortgage Investment Conduit (REMIC)
Com'on, you all know that Cramer is a clearing house wind pipe for WS, right?
Right?
If he put 50k into bitcoin his fund would be 5000% up.
At some point my friends, you have to sit back and reflect on what you have done as a person, doesnt matter what you do for a living, but what you did to those around you.
Thats why so many find sollace in the bloke in the sky, that Dog bloke. They couldnt believe they did what they did to their fellow humans just to make that extra buck.
Some folk lose that little bit of yourself that seperates us from the animals, they gave into the greed. They didnt give a fuck about anyone at that point bar themselves. Pity me eh?
And then you have people, and I am not fucking preaching here mind, like me, or you, or any of you that didnt do it for the money, you did it because it was your job, if like me, you did it because you wanted to, you could help others and you enjoyed doing so because you felt what you were doing actually mattered, or helped someone, it made you feel good about yourself, or let you sleep better at night, or you just knew, you didnt rip someone off.
Jim Cramer is not one of me.
I normally type angry here, but not tonight, I'm tired and feeling very fucking melancholy.
These fuckers dont even deserve your angry comments. Kiss your wife, love your kids, and let this shit go.
You are all better than this, and trust me, I fucking know this for a fact. The good, will always out weigh the bad, the bulk of you bitchez on ZH only confirm it.
Another rant off
The only problem with smoking drugs - is that they wear off , and then you are back into this fucked up reality.
Thats a very true fact my crazytechnician friend.
The only problem is I have never done so, never liked it to be honest.
I must have one of those things even a bankster cannot buy, you know them 'Consience's'?
And lift your chin up mate, not everyone is out to get you.
There are some fucking decent folk roaming about you know.
Anyways, I much prefer beer, if you know what I mean?
;-)
It's funny , you come across just like the really fucked-up guy from Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas , and , well , I really like that guy he has shall we say a sensible perspective on life .... I prefer red wine , in fact it's my only vice in this reality.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOmtVFQ3WF8
If I come across like that friend, I never meant it. I type angry thats all.
There are some fucking good people here on ZH crazytechnician.
Give them all a chance, and believe you me, you will learn more than you ever wanted to know.
At the end of the day though, on a long enough timeline, we all get the same.
;-)
Hey man , trust me , it's a compliment. Check the vid. and you will geddit. ..
Well played mate.
I've never seen that film mind, but my avatar has....
Hehehe
Mix- you are right you know. the controllers want us all angry. Orwell figured that out and showed it with the 'two minutes of hate' in 1984...
I know I'm right John, as I know you are.
My hate is long gone, bereft of a partner it could never keep. Its pity now my friend. Its pity for those that dont know whats coming their way.
It didnt have to be like this my friend did it? They caused this, and thats the pity you see.
It didnt have to end like this. But as man never learns, thats why I sit with a tear in my eye, smiling into a pint of Stella Artois, it WILL be like this.
Till we dont John. Till we dont...
Is that melancholy? Fuck me if I know now friend.
hater's gonna hate , lover's gonna - well you know.
bitcoin , BTChez.....
When Cramer will pump gold at 3k, it'd be a sure sign to reduce the stack a bit. But till then...
this is why sites like ArbitrageDude are awesome. They have stock picks by accuracy ... does the writers accuracy outperform S&P on a risk-adjusted basis consistently. If so, then she/he is a winner!
Stock Picks by historical accuracy.
Historical accuracy is defined as return/risk > SamePeriodS&PReturn/Risk
Can't wait till sites like these use crowdsourcing to figure out best stock pickers amongst the 7bn of us, instead of the ponzies on Wall St.
Stock picking BS games will end soon you hear me hedgefunds!!! Accountability now!!
Down only 82%.....did he supply that figure?
If gains were priced in Argentinian Peso's, it's in the positive territory....at least in numbers, not value
value is subjective.
repeat after me?
Put him in a clown suit and makeup.
Never trust governments.
Never trust corporations.
Never trust advertising.
Never trust marketing.
Never trust celebrities.
Never trust television.
Never trust authority.
Never trust radio.
The one exception to the rule. Trust the X-Files slogan:
TRUST NO ONE.
Never trust Lawyers
Never trust Politicians
Never trust Financial Advisers
Never Trust Mortgage Servicing Companies
Never Trust MERS
Never Trust Real Estate People to know the Industry & Contracts
Never Trust Justices or Judges who preside over Mortgage Foreclosures to understand OR Apply the Law, understand Trusts formed, and Understand REMIC formed
You can trust with absolute confidence that Barrack Hussein Obama, the first African American Presiden of the United States of America, will continue to lie to the world.
http://www.deepcapture.com/category/1-the-players/
Old news....
Follow Cramer's picks??
I'd rather be subjected to the pear of anguish.
http://www.medievality.com/pear-of-anguish.html
I don't think so. Uh-uh.
same net effect, though :P
Shorting Cramer's stock picks or GS's buy reccomendations to the muppets, would be the ONLY way I would short stocks these days.
more than a few of those firms ende up doing alright so it is definitely a timing thing, always has been, always is with a time factor.
cramer is still an asshole, however, on a linear chart.
Trust a Tribesman at your own risk
cramer was at the goldmine shacks under bob rubin. he was such a nut job then, he got pushed out, even they knew it. don't believe me, look it up.
Why are we rehashing his pricks from almost 15 years ago? He has been vastly wrong since then, but he has caught the wave of the Fed-induced bull market. However, don't expect him to call a turn in the market.
Cramer on right now making fun of "polar bears".
Hey Jim, 14 years to regain the 2000-2001 NASDAQ losses.
And yes, 2009 actually happened, S&P 666.
Bubble economy.
Down 82% We must be referring to the typical tard that peruses zerohedge.
Investing isn't a religion and faith is for fools.
Christians, Jews, Islamists and Zerohedgians just can't figure it out.
And you have?
Jimmie, is that u?
For years I've been waiting for Cramer to be hauled off in cuffs, but he clearly has friends inside the SEC.
Elsewhere: Senator Kirsten Gillibrand says she's been sexually harrassed but won't name the culprits:
http://tinyurl.com/mg2utx7
re Kirsten G. harrassment... wont name names...
My guess is that the perp is some foul-mouth bull-dyke - with 17" hairy ankles - named Hillary
Sometimes nothing is a cool hand too.
A bombastic, bloviating buffoon
I have handed out this article many times over the last 14 years anytime someone mentions crammer in a positive light. Don't forget that in october of 2008 he stated on the today show to take your money out of the market if you will need it in the next five years. So maybe he can claim you should be long for about the last ten months. He is a buffoon and a carnival barker. On a positive note a guy I used to trade with told me that crammer gave his mother a check for 10k at her husbands funeral about 18 years ago
Cramer was a ass-clown when he arrived on the scene and he is a ass-clown leaving the scene. How many suckers did he rope in?
How many gold and silver suckers did Goldline rope in with Joe Baglia and his radio program?
I hate Cramer, don't get me wrong. But 15 months after the peak of the .con bubble?? Almost any list would have been down about 50%.
Great comments ZH members. Think it's been nearly a year since I have watched CNBS on TV. Life is much better, so is my blood pressure. Have cheated listening on satellite radio, by pressing the CD button makes them go away.
Cluck Framer. And Warren Buffett too while you are at it.
for shitsngiggles went and checked vrsn stocks. alltime high of 253 in feb of double aught. I think everyone gives cramer too hard a time, he was only off by two years. If you had followed his advice in 98 you'd have had a hell of a deal.
Did a study on Jimmie....back in the roaring 90's....back when the street.com was...."cool".....all heads were a-Twitter over.....Jimmie...
Threw out that track years ago....but it was God-awful.
Tracked his picks to go up....they were aggregate down....75% loser-to-winner ratio if I remember right...
Asinine-ingly, his picks to avoid I also tracked. Aggregate down - but BETTER THAN HIS UP PICKS.....which made him even worse in my book.
The fuck couldn't even pick a loser...
His involvement in cnbc, or the fact that he is ALLOWED TO BE A STOCK SHILL ON TEE VEE, is a disgrace to the profession....
Cramer is still alive?
When will this asshole be indicted, convicted and sentenced to prison with Bernie made off.?
Cramer is still around !!!!!!
Okay, Guess he will be still around as long as the Wall Street Cartel is around
I don't care for Cramer, but the day they choose to analyze some of his picks carries a little selective bia.... Dot Come Bubble started to crash 9/10 days after this investor conference.... All the stocks he listed would obv be negatively affected by a bubble bursting. So, we could attack him for not predicting the bubble, but that's not a great way to judge an investor. Someone should do a study on all the stocks that Cramer has done a special around on his show. Not the stocks that desperate people call in to ask for advice on, but the stocks that Cramer pitches, like one or two a show.
I remember March 2000. Janet Reno sued MSFT during the first week. I sold everything I had in the market. My family bailed, too. I'm just a stupid hick, but I knew that was gonna kill the market. It was the most obvious top ever.
What he really meant to say is:
We, and my hedge fund buddies, already bought these stocks before I got on the air to hype the. After enough of you sheeple drive the price up, we will unload them.
Anybody that pays any attention at all to this asshole deserves exactly what they get.
Jeez, what a jerk!
Yada, yada, yada....but how have these stocks performed SINCE 2002????
And for Krissakes WHY oh WHY do you contaminate the Bodacious Ta-Ta pictures with a shrewish, Renee???
Why! Can't you leave well enough alone??
"Goyim were born only to serve us. Without that, they have no place in the world - only to serve the People of Israel." "Why are gentiles needed? They will work, they will plow, they will reap. We will sit like an effendi and eat... That is why gentiles were created..."
- Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, Former Chief Rabbi of Israel
hmmmm, this fiasco was 14 years ago, and Crammer, as well as CNBC are less significant today then even then. Next.........