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Caption Contest: Just Six More Days...
With Samsung stealing the limelight today, and Apple's stock taking a tumble; the decision was made to roll-out the all-new iPhone6 line-of-desperate-consumers, six days (and nights) before product launch...
Source: @dcbandor
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It has a newer, more powerful camera too!
<grabs hand lotion>
Apple, safe as any government database!
pods
Though I do admit a certain glee taking a high-er def picture of my friends iPhone that he dropped on top of a pile of steaming hot elk shit; dumbass.
Arm Yourselves.
Looks like Apple is taking a strategy out of the realtor handbook. Remember how condos used to be sold? lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AyVh1_vWYQ
or
http://youtu.be/9BnLbv6QYcA
Oh, Jesus Fucking Christ...WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with these people?
Idjiots! Android is better!
Baa aaa aa aa aa aa a a a a apple.
What is with zh'ers and raging at apple? iphone6 hasn't even been announced yet. And guess what there's a great option if you don't want it - don't buy it.
Not the product. It's the sheeple cult that would give their limbs for technology they know nothing about but are convince is a gazillion times better than the last one because apple said so.
Well..and the product. .. iphone's for girls..and kids..and girl kids. ;)
I saw it on the internet when I was researchin my fone purchase..therfore I know its true.
And now it's on ZH..so its extra true.
"Apple's paying me big bucks to camp out here, and they're gonna give me a discount on the phone!"
LOL SE this one's for you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_CgPsGY5Mw and really speaks volumes about our society today
It's not about Apple. If you had a kid and he/she was camping outside of Apple store some 6 days in advance of their new release, would you feel proud or would you admit that you've raised a complete waste of a human being?
Something tells me those parents are proud. "My kid has the latest iPhone before your kid. Ha-ha."
as programmer & sole proprietor of saintssoft (search iTunes), i am damn glad apple keeps feeding the masses with updates.
my software is best available for tracking your GOLD and Silver, gets automatic price updates to your stacks and prices them up-to-date regardless of whether they be stored bottom of a lake or in your gun vault.
& it's dirt cheap..
Fuck no I'm not getting an app that keeps track of all my PMs that ended up at the bottom of the lake. That's between the lake and me, and the lake only answeres to those who are pure in heart.... on the second Sunday preceding the next planetary alignment.
No.... I'm pretty sure there's an app for that too.
"Jul 4, 2014 - Description. The Our Lady of the Lake (OLOL) Mobile App will help you"... blah blah blah You can get it off the apple store yo.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/our-lady-of...lake/id891823716?
lol
Android bitchez.
If you had a kid and he/she was camping outside of Apple store some 6 days in advance of their new release, would you feel proud or would you admit that you've raised a complete waste of a human being?
My hypothetical kids waiting in line to buy a gadget is very low on the list of potential things I'd be concerned about them doing.
And yes, it is definitely about aapl. Some sort of cultural touchstone that sets zh’ers off on a rage every time an igadget article comes up. Also common to see on a lot of other sites.
Anyway, as far as conspiracy theories go since no one has so far been interested in putting one forth on this latest aapl clusterfck.. Celebrity photo dump based on known icloud vulnerability days before samsungs big launch? A week before aapls major launch? Imagine how much it would cost to pay a few hackers to swing this vs. the windfall in options + neg publicity to aapl? Shit is just way too convenient / time sensitive.
Look at this shit bitchez:
http://www.nasdaq.com/symbol/aapl/option-chain/most-active?dateindex=1
Tell us James.
What device is in your pocket?
Justification of your i-device purchase is showing.
What year are you in now, james? :)
It's about the fact that apple has built a cult following and that they had (had, that is) a reputation as an upstart that came out with brilliant products and undercut the status quo (in other words, microsoft), but then turned into the biggest bully on the block, and the most greedy sons of bitches since JP Morgan. Since Steve Jobs died, the company is floundering in the idea department, and riding the fading tail of Jobs's marketing brilliance. They've gone from upstarts to exploiters. Fuck them, and the morons who think they're cool...
Those parents probably think their kids scored a job with Apple somehow. In this day and age of crisis actors, I'm 100% convinced that first in line at Apple are bought and paid for as well.
Daaayum! I just thought I knew what being a master cynic was all about. I hath been schooled, bitchez. Unfortunately, your 100% convinced is likely 100% right. +1
It's not even cold out
"My father always told me the poor decisions I made would lead me nowhere in life....if he could just see me now.....suck it, dad!!!"
How did ZH get a hold of the new BarryCare Mental Illness PSAPoster??
Me likey the HOT chick
Filthy
Elk poop in pellets like deer and rabbits. Tell your friend not to shoot the animal that donated the pile because it was probably a cow or horse.
"Look kids, wild Milk Duds!"
pods
Young and female elk poop in pellets, but the big bull elk's poop is like cow pies.
Sir, there's nobody standing in line for the new iPhone yet.
Nobody?
No, sir.
Well, round up the usual suspects and pay them $5 a day to stand in lines.
You mean the homeless, sir?
Of course I mean the homeless, you moron! Now hurry the hell up!
Here's one of the better versed paid line waiters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMsLArefSOw
Dumber than rocks. You gotta love she brought out a rolling pleather office chair to wait for Apple 5.
Holy fuck - that was painful to watch.
That guy was a dick. It is obvious that woman was, to use a non-PC word, retarded.
On the other hand, she is also a voter. (facepalm)
No, Low IQ maybe, but not retarded within your context.
retarded
adjective
1.
characterized by a slowness or limitation in intellectual understanding and awareness, emotional development, academic progress, etc.
I admit to not being politically correct. I do not admit to being wrong.
iTards
About the same as Glocktards
Which reminds me... It's time for the Glock Gen FIVE!!!
With the new notch in the back strap to cut into your hand now too!
Springfield XD.
Springfield TRP 1911 .45 acp.
Very nice. That definitely has more stopping power than my .40, but might be a bit on the heavy side for moi.
The term I use and consider to be PC is fucktarded
Sad, There are folks that stupid. (Good for Obama)
Good for government in general.
Can you imagine how proud her parents must be..she made it on the internet, without getting scammed!
People that dumb should be sterilized so they can't breed.
I'm not one to think in collectivist terms, but in cases like this, it truly would be a boon to society.
She's a voter and a consumer. She must be protected at all costs.
the internet ripped me off
5$/day? Pfffttt. Even though there's no inflation, they cannot eat for that. You have to pay the homeles a living wage.
Nobody said they had to stop selling their blood or participating in unlicensed medical testing studies just to stand in line. They can do both.
Being a mother and also working in an office is very tough. My sister showed me a website where you can get paid sitting in line for the new Iphone. She set up a little tent and did little side jobs inside while she waited. She made $ 27 last month!! I tried it and it is very easy, I can really recommend it! Follow this link to learn more: http://Ican'tbelieveI'msuchashithead.info/cashforBJs
Downvoted due to a broken link.
$5 aaannnd a bottle in a brown bag.
What? This isnt the line for the ebola vaccine?
How long before a Proctoscopy App and attachement?
iFleshlight
The phrase "get a life" just doesn't do justice to those idiots.
We are so Fucked as a Human Species.
What's the pay for standing in fake lines these days?
"In Philadelphia, it's worth fifty bucks."
Trading Places....Classic
And the line that follows shortly thereafter: "Hey, how much for the gun?"
You know, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barreled shotgun 'cause you pissed at 'em.
I'm FIRST!!!!
(Mighty sad huh?)
[ed - sent from my iPecker 5S]
Fucking tools.
If you can collect enough brain cells from the first hundred people in line to create a brain for a caterpillar, I would be quite surprised.
But then again, Fluoride is known to kill brain cells. As is listening to the droner-in-chief.
Some people make perfect serfs.
Huh? Oh yeah, my brother-in-law got laid off by Cat about a year ago....
Human Centipad
I choose the vanilla pudding.
With 6 you'll never have to think for yourself again, it'll be epic.
Sheeple at the 'Gates' of Apple ... Laughable.
I remember when the Sheeple offered to work for free for them on Apples Campus way back.
I've seen some otherwise intelligent people get awe inspired with an institution and claim that people should have to pay to work at said institution. It's a sign of how warped our society is. People are so used to being able to go to the supermarket and get food that they've lost the concept of having to put bread on the table.
shit that's nothing. ive seen otherwise rational people tithe 10% of their gross to their catholic church. i always ask them what % is going to buttfucking settlements....
Apparently, you just pissed off one buttfucker.
EDIT: make that three
I'd pay to be a taste-tester at Victoria's Secret.
I'm ashamed but I'll admit it.
The things kids do for their grandparents.
Dude, can I borrow your bucket for a minute?
Hey, keep a lid on it!
http://www.cabelas.com/product/Reliance-Luggable-Looreg-Toilet/1723735.uts?Ntk=AllProducts&searchPath=%2Fcatalog%2Fsearch.cmd%3Fform_state%3DsearchForm%26N%3D0%26fsch%3Dtrue%26Ntk%3DAllProducts%26Ntt%3Dtoilet%2Bseat%26WTz_l%3DHeader%253BSearch-All%2BProducts%26x%3D0%26y%3D0&Ntt=toilet+seat&WTz_l=Header%3BSearch-All+Products
Get paid enough to upgrade iphone with each new release...Enough time off to spend six days sitting in line doing nothing? Where do I sign up for that job.
The Apple fans aren't as stupid as the punters who will pay 262 Euros to pick multi-million dollar rock star Sting's olives and grapes in Tuscany.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/11057371/Help-har...
Sad!
Hilarious!
Does he not realise that this makes him look like a complete and utter twat? Multi, multi, multi millionaire and he's asking people to pay. He's always had an overly inflated sense of self-importance.
Introducing iSlack! Made especially for those loyal fans who wait in line for days and use their vaction days from work to wait in line for our newest updated products that we haven't updated at all! WE LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
Some of them are tech bloggers/writers and smaller developers. Those folks *are* at work. Many are students, who have the time to stand in line for the newest thing with their student loan money (some of them are also developers).
" What is an Aborted Fetus "
holy fook getting on the bus to NYC, the "6" is the best evah! should I bring my survival suit ? "Mr. G" says only 70 ish for the lows but...?
Don't these fuckers have jobs? I guess that everyone gets a free Obamaphone 6i nowadays.
"Does anyone have an extra large Depends they can spare? Anyone?"
I can't wait to get my fingerprints taken!
iSuck
I take it that these people with no jobs are waiting in line for their new Obamaphones while collecting their Obamasnap sitting in their Obamachairs wrapped in an Obamabag.
Each Obamabag includes a premixed up douche.
SHIT - another dead battery - can someone hold my place in like for 3 hours while I run home to charge it?
Let them eat Iphones!
A: "Hey man, what'd you do last week?"
B: "Sat in line for a new phone."
A: "All week?"
B: "Of course. What else is there to do. Have a girlfriend?"
That's what the phone is for.
overpriced shit phone with the worst software ever written.. there i said it
@moustache,
Easy to make that comment at ZH. Double dare you to post that baby on AppleInsider. You won't last 3 mins, if that...
Cheers buddy ; )
they'd make mincemeat out of me over there talking like that... I'll stay where it's safe heh
Comedy gold.
Caption: Apple customers seen begging for the next fix.
I'm not going for this....
I'm gonna buy the China knockoff...
The Appo Eye-Phohn Sish
Looks like the economy is better than us doomers think if lots of people can stand in line to buy a phone.
I'm not sure where we could start cleaning up the gene pool but I'm pretty sure we couldn't go wrong starting with those 4 souls
Maybe its those hollywood types that need to get their nude selfies to the cloud ..now faster with i6.
(And better camera dontcha know)
;)
Coplete with ingratiated safety. Meaning from the moment you turn it on we know where you are and everything you are doing so YOU are protected.
Technology burn-out approaching rapidly. It used to be "new' and "fun" but now it just represents more work for most...work that costs you money.
We all work for these phones companies for free and then some.
I wish someone would mathematically calculate how much time the human race has wasted on text messages, sending text messages, and worst of all, checking even when you don't have any text messages.
Maybe an Ebola outbreak wouldn't be such a bad thing...
I reached that conclusion with the advent of reality TV. Actually, reality TV just reinforced it.
You don't get paid to watch those fools who get paid. They make money off YOU. You're on the list.
Traveling out of town currently, just got back from what I like to refer to as a "Strip Mall Bar". Fucking America is fucked. I couldnt travel 15 minutes East or West and find a good place to eat. Just mile after mile of strip malls, fast food places, gas stations, and vacant strip mall stores. We're fucked. Go into said bar and everyone is wearing sports jersey's even the old women. Old women, old men, young men, young women all wearing sports jersey, dressed like they were goin to a middle school pep rally. Then it dawned on me. The culling IS coming. The entire place was packed with over weight, half retarded, uniformed dolts. No class, no self respect, no dignity. Just cattle waiting for the slaughter, just like these poor fucks waiting on a cock sucking phone. The reason that Americas days are numbered isnt because of anyone thing in particular as much as the rest of the world just dont want us around anymore.
"Excuse me, while I change my Depends."
Everyone's missing the point. The new iCrap is the investment vehicle of the future. I'm guessing 3-400% resale value on eBay.
Caption: Waiting in the street pays better than working to starve.
Is that true? So, ZH'ers is laughing at Ayn Randian entrepreneurs? (I feel... like an unMerican commy)
I'm so depressed, all my cell phone can do is make phone calls so I live in a selfie free world.
Project "Occupy Apple Store"
"The last of the big-time spenders."
Lady walking by: I hope obama can get by loser son a job.
Guy in yellow right side: Shit hide, that's my mom walking by.
Guy in yellow second from right: (thinking in head) I would bang that lady, wish I had my new iphone so I could take a pic of that ass for my instagram.
Guy third from right: I wish I could get this old iphone to work so I wouldn't have to sit here, my opportunity costs are skyrocketing as I could be on the corner panhandling, making serious cash money.
Empty chair guy on left: Fuk this shit, samsung just came out with an awesome phone. I'm out you crapple losers.
Bonus: Lady in orange in back: sniff sniff, something really smells like rotten cheese around here.
This is why I do not buy Apple products..its a religion to many people...its just a phone idiots
Wow man, Are we still at Burning Man??
Wait for it .......
Wait for it ........
Samsung Galaxy Note 4.
Can you remove the battery from the latest I-phone?
Apple got busted last year by ZH for paying street people to stand in line. Let's see if they do it again.
I already love the Samsung phone based on this morning's announcement and photo! The side view and how camera is going to work have sold me, and I plan to switch from AAPL once I can check out the new Samsung in my hand.
I wonder how much AAPL will have to pay for using Samsung's patent when it comes out with these features in a year or so, considering how much AAPL wanted for its patent to turn on the phone with a "swipe"! Or will AAPL call it "innovation" by makeing the "edge" view with a sharp corner edge instead of a curve, or put the camera lens at the bottom instead of the top?
Samsung has gone to how humans want functional technology to use, instead of gee whiz stuff - 90% of which I doubt anyone uses!
One thing I would add, Dear Samsung: ... FREE the phone! Let users use it as THEY wish. Stop pushing APPS and updates to the phone, unless requested by the user. The world wants to be free of shackles ... specially I-this and I-that.
Four new job opportunities created by Quantative Easing.
And the masses will believe the iPhone hype and will have no idea these people are paid by apple for the marketing to sleep out for 6 nights.
(these idiots don't know that they can pre-order)
They want to be the firstest.
Six days and only three people in line? Might be time to short the fruit.
Isis have crossed the mexican border disguised as very large GMO bananas and now wait to strike at the heart of US Corporatism!
I heard the new Iphone can cook crack!!!!!!
Only 6 days 6 hours 6 minutes and 6 seconds away from the iphone 6 release
And it can all be yours for the low low price of $666.66
Take a bite of the Apple
Thanks to all of our partners in the media and the mindless zombies everywhere for spreading and embracing the message of Lucifer
http://cybernetnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/apple-20ad.jpg
God man those were the days
Apple II was my first computer
Fond memories of playing Zork & other text games.
We used to play Snakebite in the library after school. Fun times.
Almost as fun as setting things on fire with a magnifying glass.
pods
gib meh ma 'bamaphone...
Awesome Selfie Dude!
Got my Z10 (list price 299.99) last May at the Blackberry store (online) because they notified me of a promotion of $100 dollar instant savings, so got it unlocked for 199.99.
Fanbois paying $649 list for iPhone 5, much more if a contract.
Apple's strategy - pay people to camp outside the launch and then call the MSM.
Look monkeys, others are doing it.
What a complete and utter waste of time
Fucking losers
I'm guessing the banana costumes protect their virginity.
I can only hope that is the case...
Man, Tim Cooks kids just look like they're mailing it in these days.
Why not a Russian Smartphone? Might be less NSA in it.
http://yotadevices.com/es-en/product/yotaphone/
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/05/business/international/russias-first-s...
Comes with free JLaw pics.
You can download a free app to turn it into a free vibrator, of course. It's hand-held product filled with humanism, absolutely.
begs the question: what is the difference between a banana hammock and a banana in a hammock?
I'm holding out until iPhone 17.
Wonder if Kinky Kelly and the Sexy Stud ever considered the potential of unexpectedly being an overnight sensation if they only recorded their "activities" with an iPhone 6. Hmmm....maybe I should shop that ad idea to Apple...
Looks like I'll be getting a good deal on a used iPhone 5 soon.
Caption: "From Sandy Hook, to Boston, now on to the Apple Store, Crisis Actors on the Move!"