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No Money, No Problem: You Can Now Lease An iPhone With Nothing Out Of Pocket

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Subprime cars, subprime houses, and now subprime iPhones... on layaway.

Exclusive for iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus Unlimited Data, Talk and Text for only $50 per month

 

New iPhone For Life Plan allows consumers to get the iPhone 6 for $20/month, iPhone 6 Plus for $25/month, both for $0 money down and guarantees a new device every two years

 

Sprint is proud to offer iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus, the biggest advancements in iPhone history, beginning on Friday, Sept. 19. Demonstrating the best value in wireless Sprint will offer the Sprint Simply Unlimited Plan exclusively for iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus, giving new and existing customers unlimited data, talk and text while on the Sprint network for only $50 per month. Sprint will allow iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus customers to connect to its fast LTE network, including Sprint Spark, an enhanced LTE service. Customers can pre-register starting today at www.sprint.com/iphone and pre-orders begin on September 12 at www.sprint.com/iphone, Sprint retail stores or through Sprint Telesales at 1-800-Sprint.

 

In addition, Sprint introduced the iPhone for Life Plan, the most economical way to get any new iPhone 6 or iPhone 6 Plus. iPhone 6 is only $20 per month for 24 months for a 16GB model, and iPhone 6 Plus is only $25 per month for 24 months for a 16GB model – there are no out-of-pocket costs and the plan guarantees a new device every two years. At the end of 24 months, customers in good standing can upgrade, purchase the leased phone or continue leasing on a month-to-month basis.

 

"We have made a commitment to offer the best value in wireless to any individual, couple or family, and we are excited to offer our customers the innovative iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus with an exclusive unlimited plan," said Marcelo Claure, Sprint CEO. "In addition, we're proud to introduce a revolutionary new way for American consumers to acquire the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus. Our iPhone for Life Plan allows customers access to iPhone 6 with the industry's lowest monthly fee of $20 with no out-of-pocket costs, and it guarantees a new device every two years."

And so the time has come to add Non-Performing iPhone Loans, or NPiLs, to the financial lexicon.

Remember: it doesn't matter if you actually have no money to buy your phone, as long as your phone tells the world that you have money.

 

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Fri, 09/12/2014 - 10:55 | 5210560 Saratoga
Saratoga's picture

THE END

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 10:58 | 5210574 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

I'm surprised the NSA isn't giving these away for free.  Perhaps they want you to feel like you can participate in your own surveillance.  

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:01 | 5210588 easypoints
easypoints's picture

TMobile has been doing this for over a year with their JUMP program. You pay every month for two years, and every six months, you can bring your phone back and get a different one. You only own the phone after 2 years.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:02 | 5210593 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:03 | 5210600 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

I thought Obama was giving them away free...

 

 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:04 | 5210605 kowalli
kowalli's picture

are you kidding me? Obama for free?LOL

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:09 | 5210617 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

 

 

Debt based economy, CHECK.

Credit cards maxed, CHECK.

Foodstamps for sustenance, CHECK.

How then can .gov track its peeps?  Easy.... offer the tracking device for NO MONEY DOWN.

MINDLESS!

 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:15 | 5210653 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Laugh if you want, but you're going to see more and more cell phone plans go this way.  The devices are so commoditized nowadays, it makes little sense to "own" a phone which instantly starts falling behind the technology curve the day you buy it.  The only thing that matters is the data on that phone, which is "yours".  ("Yours" in quotes because, well, we all know how that shit goes.)

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:20 | 5210661 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Compliance is affordable.
Resistance is futile.

 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:24 | 5210705 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

What happens when the leased phone gets wet or dropped?

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:32 | 5210716 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Mil Spec tracking devices are designed to endure such events.

When it all does stop working, and the USD crashes, it will be blamed on Russian and possibly Chinese hackers.  Our debt-addicted government and co-dependent Federal Reserve will have had nothing to do with it.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:51 | 5210859 SumTing Wong
SumTing Wong's picture

You have got to be fucking kidding me. The Onion has taken over real life with this, the Russia sanctions, all the BS with ISIS, and that Howdy Doody looking character they put in place as "U.S. President." This is really obvious how this movie is going to end. They need to get some new scripts. 

And if I'm not just watching this on the teevee, then please someone pour me a double. There needs to be a whole lot of drinking going on. 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 14:53 | 5211747 PT
PT's picture

.

"By sitting here, if I relax, close my eyes, meditate and give thanks to the Universal Spirit Being, nice things will come to me.  OMMMMMMMMMMMMM"
"What's this?  A free house?  A free car?  A free telephone?  No money down?  50 months interest free? ... "
"Hey!  It's working!!!"

- the dangers of medicinal weed applied to The Free Shit Army...

...OMG!  How do I know they're not right???

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 16:21 | 5212114 L3G4CY
L3G4CY's picture

Dude that thing is so funny I had to steal this and post it on my facebook. I'm totally laughing out my mind

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:24 | 5211034 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Expect to see much more of this, not only with phone plans.

Paid with debt that is personal, or paid with debt that is public (FRN is nothing but debt).  No real difference.

Anyone got a credit card application while at the DR getting a pregnancy checkup....  Start them young.  Debt Slaves

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 13:30 | 5211348 Parabox
Parabox's picture

I look around and see alot of companies changing their revenue models from that of selling a product to selling a subscription.  Electric razors with cleaning solutions to be replaced each month.  PS4 and Xbox require subscriptions now for online play.  Amazon will sell a subscription of Kuerig coffee pods if you want.  The plans are being laid for us.  Government defines spending 10% of your gross income on health insurance as "affordable".  The FSA will get theirs, but anyone left working for a living will not be left with anything, it will be divided thusly:

50% Taxes

20% Rent

10% Health

10% Transportation

5% Indoctrination transmissions and surveilance equipment (TV and phone)

5% Food

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 14:01 | 5211514 PT
PT's picture

But does it come with cash-back?

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:41 | 5210790 Debt-Penitent
Debt-Penitent's picture

Oh, I love NPiLs !!!

 

Bust 'em out!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:15 | 5210977 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

 

The

I. (O.U.) Phone!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:08 | 5210954 Dr Strangemember
Dr Strangemember's picture

The smartphone technology curve is a total charade.  Ok, let's add fingerprint access, let's add a hair-do scanner, let's add the ability to have a mindless conversation with your phone, let's add a flashlight feature, x ray vision abilities, a food irradiator, a heart monitor, a temp gauge, ...

 

Adding useless bells an whistles to your phone doesn't make it better, or more advanced (regarless of what Apple, LG,.. tell you).  I can make calls and texts, receive calls and texts, access the internet and receive email and send email from my new phone... just like I could in 2009 with my smartphone.  The rest is just "marketing".  

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:15 | 5210658 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Not impressed.

Lay away for organic veggies at whole foods..., now that's a sign of the times;)

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:39 | 5211112 jimsoong25
jimsoong25's picture

I don't think T-Mobile is this cheap.  Their phones are $20+ per month (depending on phone) with a down payment.  It's like $25-$27 per month with no down payment.  The JUMP program is $10 per month extra.  If you trade your phone in, there are extra costs. 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:18 | 5210656 JRobby
JRobby's picture

They will give you the phone + $100 rebate (EBT) if you let their crack surgical team install it in your skull.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:27 | 5211050 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

They do...they're called "Obama phones."

"Private sector surveillance costs extra" and yes, YOU'RE THE PAYER.

Bwhahahahahahaha. (Dr Evil laugh.)
Bwhahahahahahahahahahahaha.....(Pinky in mouth)

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 10:56 | 5210563 Ray745
Ray745's picture

So $480 over 2 years instead of $200 once up front?  Makes sense...

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:02 | 5210599 Dr Strangemember
Dr Strangemember's picture

Check out Republic Wireless... Wifi/Cell provider using Sprint Network when wifi not available.  I used to pay Sprint ~90$/mo, and now pay 11.50$/mo to access the SAME network and have much better range given voice and text (and data) via wifi.  

Ok, carry on...

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:18 | 5210671 yogibear
yogibear's picture

It's why the main carriers are struggling to keep paying customers. 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:21 | 5210689 Dr Strangemember
Dr Strangemember's picture

Maybe... but that's their problem.  I'll just keep paying my 11.50$.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:43 | 5210791 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Must be handy having a wireless receiver sticking out the top of your head, eh?

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:04 | 5210940 nuclearsquid
nuclearsquid's picture

I don't think its what you guys think.  Look up the term MVNO.

 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:13 | 5210974 Dr Strangemember
Dr Strangemember's picture

That "receiver" is only visible when I get excited.  Thanks for noticing!!!!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 14:24 | 5211637 PT
PT's picture

Never try to honestly compete against an idiot and his bankster.  You're screwed.

Never bring a knife to a gunfight.
A Smith and Wesson beats four Aces.
And idiot and his bankster will bid prices higher than you can afford and sell stuff cheaper than you can afford, all for longer than you can remain solvent.

What's your next move?

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 14:57 | 5211769 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

actually it's usually the bankster thats screwed

...but the Fed keeps bailing the buggers out

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 15:13 | 5211853 PT
PT's picture

The bankster gets screwed???  And he loves every minute of it.  He gets to keep all his bonuses all the way to the bailouts and beyond. 

"You have to bail me out!  How could I know that the idiot wouldn't pay me back?"
Meanwhile, the idiot loses everything (errr, depending on his ability to scream loudly).
And if people whinge about the bankster lending to the idiot then the bankster finds another idiot.

"Have pity on my idiot.  You have to GIVE me money so I can LEND him HALF of it!!!"

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:07 | 5210615 813kml
813kml's picture

The current plans require money upfront and the same payments but you own the phone after two years.  I wonder what it costs to buy after the lease is over, probably an outrageous price that guarantees a large supply of phones to sell into secondary markets.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:47 | 5210823 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

I had a credit card a while back that sent me a pack of cash advance "checks" - of course tied to the ridiculous cash-advance interest rate.  The flier that came along with the checks said:  "Just treat it like free money!"

Nothing but crooks and charlatans.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:29 | 5211058 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

LAYAWAY IS DIFFERENT FROM LEASING! LAYAWAY IS DIFFERENT FROM LEASING!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 15:36 | 5211959 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

Yes.  Leasing is an even worse deal.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 23:57 | 5213322 Abbie Normal
Abbie Normal's picture

With no money down, the monthly payment increases from $20 to $28 or so.  Expect the buyout cost to be the same as the down payment was, $199 or $299; that will keep the lemmings upgrading again instead of buying the phone.

For anyone that cares to do the math, the effective interest rate on these no money down plans is between 18-28%

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 16:19 | 5212106 BlissPoint
BlissPoint's picture

You fool. Know what you're talking about before you type. There are two separate plans: (1) no contract but 24 monthly installment payments for the device, and (2) two-year contract with one-time payment for the device. Under #2, you pay $200 up front for the device but your monthly service bill is cheaper. Under #1, you don't have to pay anything up front for the device, but your monthly service bill (including the installment) is more. You end up paying essentially the same amount (phone cost + service cost) for both plans. However, #1 doesn't strap you to a 2-year contract, which is why those plans are becoming popular.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 10:56 | 5210564 One And Only
One And Only's picture

What about the Obama phone?

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 10:59 | 5210582 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

Everybody in Cleveland needs an Iphone, ya know

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:00 | 5210584 Dr Strangemember
Dr Strangemember's picture

Don't forget about Gary IN & Detroit!!!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:30 | 5211066 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"They say the heart of rock and roll is in Cleveland!"

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 10:57 | 5210570 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

LOL smartphone financing - cds anyone

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:59 | 5210913 SumTing Wong
SumTing Wong's picture

Sign me up on that entire tranche. 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 10:58 | 5210577 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

hope u all r enjoying another v shaped reversal in all the indexes in the last hour of trading in London....
AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN........

off topic i know...just sayin'

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 10:59 | 5210579 kowalli
kowalli's picture

No one wants that garbage. Next time they will point a gun at you...

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 13:58 | 5211498 cnmcdee
cnmcdee's picture

You hit it!! Guns on Layway, or permanent lease guns!! That is next!

 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 10:59 | 5210580 Peak Finance
Peak Finance's picture

 

IABS

iPhone - Asset - Backed - Securitites

LOLZ!!!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:01 | 5210586 Rukeysers Ghost
Rukeysers Ghost's picture

I wonder what the repo procedure will be for the deadbeats who miss lease payments? Midnight break-ins?

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:05 | 5210612 kowalli
kowalli's picture

they can trace iphones so no problem with that

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:08 | 5210618 Dr Strangemember
Dr Strangemember's picture

Ahhhhh, I can see it now, A&E will air a new show called "CellPhone Repo".  Just gather up a motley looking crew of tat laden repo "professionals" that don't get along, and WHAA-LAAA, ratings GALORE!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:09 | 5210627 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Remember, they can send out a "kill" signal to smartphones now.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:10 | 5210631 edifice
edifice's picture

They will brick the phones, remotely.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 13:22 | 5211303 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

Little iDrone RepoBots
"Resistance is futile"

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:01 | 5210587 intric8
intric8's picture

Great deal, but can i back out all the spyware and data collection from uncle stupid?

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:01 | 5210590 coast
coast's picture

but the dollar is up kaiser...lol.  Put that in your iphone and smoke it :-) 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:02 | 5210594 RiskyBidness
RiskyBidness's picture

BTFD Niggas!!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:02 | 5210596 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

Taking out a lease on a phone that was made for 1/100th of the retail cost by slave labor in China that you don't even have root access too.

Americans are really so fucking dumb.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:02 | 5210598 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

iShylocks.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:04 | 5210602 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

AFTER 24 MONTHS , YOU CAN BUY THE PHONE !!!!!!!!!!!....................UN FUCKING REAL !!!!!!!!!!!!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:04 | 5210607 q99x2
q99x2's picture

If they offered new lenses and eye surgery with the deal I might go for it.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:05 | 5210610 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

They need everyone to have one of these tracking devices.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:05 | 5210611 dbTX
dbTX's picture

Are they cheaper by the dozen?

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:09 | 5210625 Dr Strangemember
Dr Strangemember's picture

Always!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:07 | 5210613 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I have a better idea if you must own NSA iCrap. Get the 5c for free, other than size there is no real difference. Their marketing team is incredible.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:11 | 5210648 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

That's plastic, isn't it? That's fine if you're poor, I guess.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:52 | 5210850 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Dat's raciss!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:07 | 5210621 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

Does no one realize that you are all paying for your phones through your monthly phone plan? This is just a different slant on that without the 2 year contract. You can leave whenever you turn your phone back in or pay it off.

Does this mean that the phones under this plan will be able to be used on all networks?

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:11 | 5210638 Dr Strangemember
Dr Strangemember's picture

Come on man!  Nobody's gonna do that kinda math, man!  Too CoNfUsInG aNd StUFf!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:11 | 5210646 ejmoosa
ejmoosa's picture

No one suggested that the customers were not being fleeced at the same time as the credit is being extended.

 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:17 | 5210666 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Not a new strategy by the phone cartel.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:10 | 5210635 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

iDefault

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:11 | 5210640 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

I'm old enough to remember when land-line phones were leased.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:23 | 5210698 Dr Strangemember
Dr Strangemember's picture

Remember using a "party line"?  

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:30 | 5210743 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

My folks never had one when I was a kid, but my grandmother did. It was a lot of fun. Talk about no privacy,

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:09 | 5210959 Dr Strangemember
Dr Strangemember's picture

Yeah, no privacy... some things never change (nsa).

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:11 | 5210964 Blano
Blano's picture

Unfortunately when I was a kid my "party" was all family since we lived in BFE nowhere, and sometimes my aunt Betty, Grandma, Grandpa etc. would get on the line and ask me to get off so they could use the phone.  Irritating as hell.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:43 | 5210797 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I do. I hated that thing whenever I wanted to talk to my girl friend. There was always a couple talkers hogging the lines, so I had to hitchhike down to a pay phone.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:55 | 5210820 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

Some of those land-line leases were unbelievable cash cows.

I knew someome that died in 2007 who had continued the phone lease that their mother had initiated sometime in the 1960s for over 20 years after her death.  When I asked WTF they were still paying for a lease on an item I could easily replace for free with an exact model I was told that it was a matter of sentimentality: that phone had been there for decades being the device everyone in the family talked to everyone else on.   Every call about everything from a triumph to a tragedy, business to private, births and deaths, planning weddings and wakes, etc...   Some people's lives revolve around a few key choices of appliances in and around the home, just like the stalwart family car aka sybol of manhood passed down from father to son or a stove upon which generations of women learned to cook the recipies of their grandmothers...

Much of this is about the fabled consumerist culture; but, more of it is about memories, nostalgia, and class identity.  These devices define social status and are the cultural ornaments that populate memories.   Tribalism and style.   Mass produced self definition for the consumerist age...   The period piece...   

It's also about musclue memory and habit and environmental security/stability.

IF only the bastards were not designing these new products around police state mechanisms and financialization platforms as core functions these new phones and watches would be awesome manifestations of  the sort of personalized communications and lifestyle enhancement devices people have been dreaming of for a hundred years or more...

Thought: IF the watch manfuacturers from Swatch to Movado, et. al. don't figure out something IMMEDIATELY Apple is going to bury all but a few of the luxury brands in just a few generations of wrist devices.  Once there are twenty or so customizable exterior designs beyond this initial foray this game will be all but over.  I imagine that the internals of the iWatch can easily be fitted for luxury/sport/etc. market demands and would not be surprised to see wearable tech/comm become a powerhouse division of Apple and her peers.   I'd short the fuck out of the Swiss timepiece manufacturers starting Q1 of 2015 as they are the equivalent to the dial and hand-set landline telephones in this age of cellular as of NOW.

 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:18 | 5210999 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I concurr with everything you said except for the part about the iWatch. Sooner or later somebody is going to get it right, but based on what I'm seeing come from Apple lately, it won't be them.  

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:38 | 5211106 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

I think watches may be past the lower bound on screen size. Remember calculator watches? Even simple digital watches are harder to get information from than a dial watch.

I also suspect that people may someday get tired of looking at screens. Every moment looking at a phone or watch could be spent doing something else. For this (and other) reasons, I think Apple will continue to be very aggressive about tying their products to fashion and exclusivity. For Apple, it's evolve (devolve?) into Bang & Olufsen, or die, IMO. B&O could never support a giant UFO headquarters, however.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 18:37 | 5212467 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Who in their right freaking mind would buy a watch that runs out of battery everyday...

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 17:39 | 5212313 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

Want to see a teenager have a complete meltdown?  Put a rotary dial phone in front of them and tell them to call a number.  You will see smoke coming from their ears!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:19 | 5210675 jvetter713
jvetter713's picture

Sheep. Nothing more to say.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:21 | 5210685 yogibear
yogibear's picture

The Steve Jobs innovation pipeline is empty.

Now it's the Tom Cook MBA idea pipeline.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:21 | 5210687 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

... sprint is a desperate company.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:23 | 5210697 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

You haves to fucking laffs.

This piece of shit thats the same as the last piece of shit tracking device come adult toy is available here in Blighty, for the low, low price of £620 sterling for the base model, now by my maths thats almost $1400 of your coin.

Just think of the mark up these sweat shop made bollock warmers have?

For a mother fucking adult, toy, phone.

Idiots, each and everyone that buys this shit.

Cocks.

;-)

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 13:32 | 5211356 luckylogger
luckylogger's picture

Must be an irabbit app???

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:23 | 5210702 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

uh, no thanks, just refilled my gophone and assholes add a $2.00 "tax" to my minutes ordered. Ripoff!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:24 | 5210709 skipjack
skipjack's picture

Some of you are mindlessly not paying attention; that $200 price is a "with contract", which as slightlyskeptical noted is a cost over and above what you are already paying for with your contract. Current iPhones go for upwards of $500 without a contract, so that $480 2 year "contract" is actually a cost savings. Additionally, since you can turn it back in after 6 mnths for a replacement means you don't necessarily need insurance on it, another scam.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:26 | 5210711 Youri Carma
Youri Carma's picture

The Payments Problem Apple Pay Doesn’t Solve
11 September 2014, by Justin O'Connell (Max Keiser)
http://www.maxkeiser.com/2014/09/the-payments-problem-apple-pay-doesnt-solve/

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:05 | 5210938 nakki
nakki's picture

Apple the great innovator. It always amazes me how truly simple the majority of people are.  In 2004 I bought an mp3 player. Everyone was buying the iPod that cost $399 and gave you a whopping 4gb. I instead bought a 20gb creative labs mp3 player for $249. It lasted 6 years before it finally crap out. By that time most of my Apple zombies friend's were onto their 3 or 4 iPod. Same technology 4x cheaper. I'll give Apples marketing department kudos for the brilliance of selling inferior products (most are more expensive and have less inside) to the fish.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 19:22 | 5212619 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

It is not just the "overpriced for less / inferior technology" angle, there's also the "really difficult to repair even under Warranty" angle. Ex-Apple Fanboy colleagues of mine were not impressed in having their iPads failing within hours or days of purchase, then instead of getting a new replacement, they were given a "Works Remanufactured" (i.e. refurbished or reconditioned) replacement.

So - the "business model" for Apple Australia was "Sell defective new product, for New Product price, and replace with reconditioned product as soon as it fails". Cheaper to buy a pre-owned Nexus via EBay. Worked just as well.

 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:27 | 5210723 Kreditanstalt
Kreditanstalt's picture

"the iPhone for Life Plan"

 

Apt name...years and years of regular monthly payments ahead of you.  Sounds like a...mortgage?

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 17:33 | 5212303 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

iBall and chains.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:28 | 5210729 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Package that debt up and sell it to the French!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:29 | 5210737 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     The $50.00 a month plan is pretty standard for unlimited across the board. You usually get throttled after a certain number of gigs data use though. The $20.00 per month no out of pocket isn't a bad idea since you can't give most 2 year old phones away.

   I'm sure the residual is high like cars for buyout though. You're also locked into the thing for 2 years,so if you have some sort of hardship and want to get out of it... You're fucked.

  On a good note, you can use all the money you would have spent upfront and load up some silver... It's on sale right now.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:36 | 5210770 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

yep, loading up now

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:29 | 5210742 starman
starman's picture

IPhone backed securities? ! Damn Im a genius!  

Maybe GS will hire me?

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:42 | 5210795 Chippewa Partners
Chippewa Partners's picture

Calling Ray Rice,  there's a deal you can't BEAT.............

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:45 | 5210813 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Hang the fuck on???????

The post at 11.28 under my username Inthemix96 while i'm fucking logged in here IS NOT ME.

What the fuck is wrong with this website Tyler???

Why the fuck you hijacking my account???

I cannot be the only one with this problem surely?

And why the fuck me?

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:00 | 5210917 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

He looks exactly like you! Only he didn't say "fuck".

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:17 | 5210996 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Don't use Admin as your password. Seriously, just change your password while using your iPhone. No one will iFind iOut.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:44 | 5211146 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Are you sure it's not you? Are you sure you're you? Last night after a bottle and a half of wine I wasn't sure I was me ;->

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:57 | 5211208 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

I'm fucking certain its not me Doc, the stupid cunt could have the decency to try to type like I do if you want to hack some fuckers account like, eh?

As far as I'm aware, I am the only fucker on here that types like a maniac, and many others can confirm such.

:-)

So you hacking cunt, if youre going to copy someone, at least make the effort and type like it.

Cunt

;-)

Sat, 09/13/2014 - 01:44 | 5213473 s2man
s2man's picture

No, you're that fucking Canadian imposter!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 19:25 | 5212629 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

My alcohol tolerance is so low, a single glass suffices (similar effects). Thank Heavens for "de-alcoholised" wines!!

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 15:14 | 5211851 A is A
A is A's picture

Lol. I have noticed the same exact thing. In fact, I went to login to reply to you and had to logout first because my account said I logged in as you. No joke! WTF is going on with this site?! I wish the entire comment section was rebuilt. It sucks pretty badly. Might as well get used to it though; if the radical egalitarians keep getting their way, we'll all be the same anyway...

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:53 | 5210863 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Green shoots, exerberant recovery, soft landing, brakes, animal spirits, quantitative sleezing, and the light at the end of the tunnel is not a incoming train. I'm sure that a few priceless MSM propaganda campaign theme's were missed. Feel free to add. 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:09 | 5210952 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

This is a comic book episode of Spy vs. Spy.

Obama taxpayer subsidizing Fone vs. (I)diot Fone subsidy to expose your naked pictures and drain your iWallet under the pretense of iHoaxes Russian/Chinese/ISIS hacking skill set.

iFucking hope you get what's coming to you, iTheves.

 

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:15 | 5210980 Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

Wait till the CASH FOR CLUNKERS IPHONE program starts.... bring in your old cell phone from 1998 and we will derivitize it, securitize it and sell it to investors and get you a brand new iphone 9!

 

This is how desperate these companies are to "sell" their products, no one has the money to buy this plastic chinese shit anymore so they have to invent ponzi schemes to keep things rolling off the assembly line lol

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:38 | 5211077 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

iStatis are running out of iTaxpayers to iFloat iCrony capitalism under the disquise of democracy. iPoetic Justice.

iAmmesty is to flood the United States of America with iStupid to kick the can down the Bank of International Settlements iDebt broke road.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:37 | 5211104 yogibear
yogibear's picture

iScam

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:38 | 5211105 yogibear
yogibear's picture

iScam

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:42 | 5211133 Dr. Gonzo
Dr. Gonzo's picture

I'm keeping my flip phone. Thanks.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 13:17 | 5211288 pherron2
pherron2's picture

I would not take the spy phone for free, I've got enough shit spying on me already.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 14:54 | 5211755 hairball48
hairball48's picture

A sucker is born every minute...so said P.T. Barnum as I recall.

I have a 6 year old LG flip phone. Does all I need and more.

Fuck Apple and their iPhones

hairball

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 19:30 | 5212642 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

ZTE Tradesman's "Tough-Phone". Armoured and completely waterproof casing, scratch resistant screen, and takes external antenna (for poor reception areas).

Acts as a 'phone, can send and receive text messages. All I need (and to be honest, all anyone REALLY needs).

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 15:11 | 5211843 khakuda
khakuda's picture

I see your subprime iphone and raise you.

 

Subprime shoes and sneakers:

http://www.masoneasypay.com/

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 15:51 | 5212012 tommylicious
tommylicious's picture

why lease that piece of shit 3 year old phone, or that dumb-ass watch for that matter.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 17:50 | 5212336 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

I'd rather dip my left nut into a vintage Presto® Fry Daddy than enter into a contract with a cellular phone company.  And fuck those $699.00 "American" handsets and the sheep who think they are made in the US.

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 18:42 | 5212485 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

Sprint is a NSA too big to fail carrier.

Sat, 09/13/2014 - 09:22 | 5213734 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

That's why they want to merge with T-Mobile. Watch the M&A customer list ditch the service carrier and head to another mobile service contract. Dipshist's are so greedy, they end up losing their market share of business. 

Sat, 09/13/2014 - 01:42 | 5213468 s2man
s2man's picture

Geez, Tyler.  Can you say "Qualified Customer"?  You left that part out.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!