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The Last Straw? Venezuela Runs Out Of Fake Breasts
Venezuelan women are revolting complaining. While the citizens of the socialist utopia can withstand shortages of food, toilet paper, and now even news paper, in a nation thought to have one of the world's highest plastic surgery rates, AP reports beauty-obsessed Venezuelans face a scarcity of brand-name breast implants, and women are so desperate that they and their doctors are turning to devices that are the wrong size or made in China, with less rigorous quality standards. No one is giving the frustrated women much sympathy, especially not the government where late President Hugo Chavez called the country's plastic surgery fixation "monstrous," and railed against the practice of giving implants to girls on their 15th birthdays. However, many have taken to Twitter under the hashtag "Without Boobs, There's No Paradise."
Venezuelans once had easy access to implants approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. But doctors say they are now all-but impossible to find because restrictive currency controls have deprived local businesses of the cash to import foreign goods. It may not be the gravest shortfall facing the socialist South American country, but surgeons say the issue cuts to the psyche of the image-conscious Venezuelan woman.
"The women are complaining," said Ramon Zapata, president of the Society of Plastic Surgeons. "Venezuelan women are very concerned with their self-esteem."
Venezuela is thought to have one of the world's highest plastic surgery rates, and the breast implant is the seminal procedure. Doctors performed 85,000 implants here last year, according to the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. Only the U.S., Brazil, Mexico and Germany — all with significantly larger populations — saw more procedures.
However, no one is giving the frustrated women much sympathy, especially not the government.
The consumerism of plastic surgery has always jibed awkwardly with the rhetoric of socialist revolution. The late President Hugo Chavez called the country's plastic surgery fixation "monstrous," and railed against the practice of giving implants to girls on their 15th birthdays.
On social media, some Venezuelans take a judgmental tone, saying the panic over implants shows the real shortage here is values. Others joke that the scarcity will force Venezuelan women to start developing their personalities, using a Twitter hashtag that riffs on the Colombian telenovela "Sin Tetas, No Hay Paraiso" ("Without Boobs, There's No Paradise").
So - Venezuelan women are going global...
In the absence of U.S. brands, plastic surgery has become an area dominated by Venezuela's chief trading partner, China, whose goods are often given priority for import over those from other countries. They're also a lot cheaper. While a pair of implants approved by European regulators can cost as much as $600 — about the same as the annual minimum wage here — the Chinese equivalent goes for a third of that. Some Venezuelan doctors refuse to use the Chinese devices, which are not subjected to random government inspections or clinical studies.
"I'm not saying they're not safe, but I've removed more than a few ruptured Chinese implants. I just don't feel comfortable with them," Slobodianik said.
We leave it to 46 year old Lisette Arroyo to sum up Venezuela's socialist utopia...
"This country is not what it used to be," she said earlier this month as awaited surgery in a blue paper gown.
No indeed it's not.
* * *
Frankly we think it's "fair" that Venezuelan women should have the right to fake boobs...
and $15 an hour minimum wage...
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Another clear sign of the End Times.
Boobageddon... Boobpocalypse Now... Boobnarök...
(I'm pretty sure the first two might be porn parodies.)
pretty sure?
Tough titty for Venezuelan whores, eh?
Golf balls. In the Good Olde days, golf balls were stuffed with feathers.
Inter-disciplinarian solution
What kind of chick thinks three tits is better? Did she take Spinal Tap literally?
Maybe she's read the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Eccentrica Gallumbits is the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon Six
"Some people say her erogenous zones start some four miles from her actual body. Me, I disagree, I say five."
Boy if anything should rally the masses it should be the need for more fake boobies.
Looks like their boob jobs just went tits up...
Agggghhhhhh... But somebody had to say it..
But wait! Isn't there still the Miracle Bra to lift and separate !!?
Supply and Demand.
Smugglers paradise, methinks.
(I need me a flat chested mule)
You could sew the implants into the mule see, what 6 pair, 8 pair, and say it's pregnant, smuggle them over the border.
Yeah, that's how you do it!
"What kind of chick thinks three tits is better? Did she take Spinal Tap literally?"
Yeah, yeah. Free the triplets!
The politicians are a bunch of boobs. Thanks ZH for keeping me abreast of the situation and being upfront with me. The politicians are racked with worry about this.
The politicians are a bunch of boobs. Thanks ZH for keeping me abreast of the situation and being upfront with me. The politicians are racked with worry about this.
I thought it was a still from Total Recall.
What kind of chick thinks three tits is better?
She though she could make it on a ScFi movie or did her parents come from Chernobyl?
Chavez, the Breast Nazi: No tits for you!
Wonder if as good socialists they're gonna make the 3 tittied one share her spare with some dude demanding a sex change?
Just wonderin' out loud, ya' kno'?
<shudder>
"Not that there's anything wrong with that."TM
I can't believe I actually agree with Chavez on something. Weird.
Dupe.
I hope Tyler will keep us abreast as this situation develops.
between a rack and a hard place
Sounds and looks like the place is turning into a Venuselean Boobylon.
Broke country, no toilet paper, but money for Boobs. For the [drum roll] BOOB TUBE.
Finally we have a war worth fighting for!
"Another clear sign of the End Times."
Not butt implants, silly.
"It was the breast of times, it was the burst of times, it was the age of bosoms, it was the age of ghoulishness,"
Excerpted from A Tale of Two Titties.
my roomate's sister-in-law makes $72 hourly on the laptop . She has been out of a job for 6 months but last month her payment was $18482 just working on the laptop for a few hours. use this link... www.payvalt.com
#bringbackourboobs
is a hash tag about boobs still gay?
Wow.... maybe its just late Monday..... But that is a truly DEEP question worth pondering
I'm getting a headache .... between the question and the "thing" with three breasts....
Word has it that the original shipment was of an odd number.
Pity the last woman in line.
They could just start using the "Wisconsin breast implant".....it's called , eating more and sitting on your fat ass
There's always the Croydon facelift:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Croydon_facelift
wut aboot the wimmin folk?
Is those Chinese titty's in the pic?
Kinda thinking the clinic that removes the busted Chinese titty's -
Is going to be banking.
HOLY SHIT!! HOW MUCH FOR THE 3 TITTED ONE!!
Surely we could have had a few more pictures attached to this article...... Just sayin
Yup.. pretty much the only reason I clicked the title link... moar boobies!
what the fuck?
This is the sign of the coming apocalypse!!!!!!!!!!! We are doomed...doomed I say!
So you're a lefty, eh? Erm, that is you rub to the left?
If you like your fake boobs, you can keep your fake boobs.
Finally! Lack of toilet paper explained.
That sucks for the tranies, they don't have any toilet paper to stuff their bras with in the interim.
Hollywood & Jooish Commerce really take no prisoners.
I much prefer natural boobs with beautiful nipples.
The fake ones feel weird and in some Women the procedure desensitizes the nipples.
Talk about no fun!
Always with you on this issue. Mr is a boob man and would never suggest I " enhance" my D cup. Nipple sensitivity is such an important part of sex, I can't imagine women would sacrifice that to have rubber-like boobs that spring back in place when touched and look like 2 melons on a board.
I'm so fortunate to have a man who loves a real woman in all ways. So many today want everything fake.
Miffed;-)
You just don't UNDERSTAND!
MOAR is BETTERERR!
CHANGE is GOOD!
If I could see two or three Chinese-made fake titties bouncing on my woman's back while doing her doggie-style it would enhance MY experience!I SERIOULSLY don't care if the one I'm fucking gets off as well. It's about ME! If she needs 5 or 6 fake breasts in order to 'feel like a woman', I'll be more than happy to pay for them!
(sarc)
Wow, I have visions of millions from a new clothing line, back boob car seats and custom bras. The trend is our friend.
After watching for years what people shoved up their asses for thrills, I can believe anything now.
Sarc was unnecessary. Tx for the laugh ;-)
Miffed;-)
One word - "Gerbils" - http://www.theawl.com/2012/11/a-complete-history-of-gerbiling-so-far
For further information / "advice" - https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20140219124910AAMvYCz
There are some strange people out there for certain!
But, Latinas don't need the fakes - they're pretty scrumptous naturally.
I think it's a plot by the NSA to instill dissatisfaction in the minds of Latinas so they'll go for the bigger fakes, and I'll bet that the titty-helpers are not shipped directly to the clinics, but rather are diverted to an NSA facility (probably one in Utah, heh, heh) where they are fitted with snooping devices that blend in with the clear silicone. The doctors are in on this too - they get a bonus from the NSA.
The snooping devices are undoubtedly squeeze-activated. They accumulate large amounts of secret data in their flash mammaries. This whole scheme helps the NSA to keep abreast of large developments in the Latin countries. I heard the secret program was called Jiggy-Con-Es.
Till they reach the age of 23. Then they start sprouting hair on their upper cheeks, moles with hair, quit shaving their underarms, put on copious amounts of weight and begin being pretty damned tough on the men folk.
But at least they haven't run out of the donut implants to put into your forehead.
"pretty damned tough on the men folk."
Yeah knukles.....we're all sure that your a real fucking Adonis too....
You probably haven't seen a vagina that wasn't in "print" or on your computer screen.....
Probably can't see your little dick either ...over your 46" beer pot....
6 Weeks and one day.
ZH really is becoming the place for trolls and turds.
He called knukles out?...lol...I'm running out of popcorn!
Wow, that was a.fairly prickish statement there coming from someone who calls themself "Majestic". Did your.boyfriend suggest that handle?
And then they become the night cleaning staff at my office building.
Do you office here too Knuckles?
Tough. You run out of water or basic foodstuffs, I'll sympathise. But running out of breast implants? Let me correct something here: "sin productos alimenticios, no hay paraíso". La dignidad humana no tiene nada que ver con el tamaño de tetas.
Get your priorities sorted out.
guess those Venzuala wimen will have to go north of the border to get their 'plants.
i.e. Mexico
Could use rolled-up toilet paper. Oh, wait...
Wow that three titty model In the picture must be very expensive...bring that to the office christmas party...and be a big shot forever afterwards...
lets help them get the breasts that they deserve!
Soon to be ex wife kind of looks like them!
I milked her after our last kid! What thanks do I get?
"sin tetas no hay paraíso " Was a very popular tv serie, is lime " porque no te callas" a funny way to disturb the venezuelan goverment with things forma spain that the goverment really hates
Dam corrector!!!
more than a handful is just plain wasted ......just say'n
more than a handful is just plain wasted ......just say'n
You obviously never titty fucked before.
Buncha boobs.
Gives "boob job" a whole new meaning.
No it's not wasted! Have you ever milked a human breast as a grown man?
Please baby it hurts! can you help me out? Chupa la!
I LOVE those words!
"Baby, I'm late!"
Give boobs a chance.
This is clearly a "deflationary" trend.
"Venezuelan women are very concerned with their self-esteem."
Since nothing says "self esteem" like having some guy named Slobodianik slice you open and drop a water balloon in the cavity.
What I don't get is whom these women are doing this for. A straight guy will find basically any woman who is not grotesquely obese, and not his mom/sister, and not over/under the age of X, attractive enough. So they are not doing it for straight guys. For each other, to compete with other women? Because there is nothing else to do, to "improve" their lot?
LOL Karen...I wondered about the "self-esteem" part myself. Sure seems more like competition and you get to wear the trophies so everyone can see them!
Other'n that, your analysis of the straight male approach to mate selection is pretty much spot on; yep, you hit it right on the head! :)
Is that tomato blushing?...yeah the rules have never changed despite the 'junk in your trunk movement' FAT is out.
"late President Hugo Chavez called the country's plastic surgery fixation "monstrous," and railed against the practice of giving implants to girls on their 15th birthdays"
Finally something that guys said I agree with.
They left out, he said they should get them on their 13th Birthday.
What's going on here?
This is typically a Friday night post
Has Saturn reset time again?
I dunno but all of my battery operated clocks died when that X-class CME hit this weekend.
I grew up in Venezuela...those are not fake ;) On the other hand, in Asia...
I ... don't know what to say.
In fact I'm pretty sure fictional characters whose breasts weight 15 pounds a piece and between them can run four trillion simultaneous computational threads forwards and backwards in 26 dimensional space-time should just keep her yap shut.
Cuz ya know big tits that's a grrrl thing.
This is just a continualtion of the global war on titties. You're either for them or against them.
I'm for them being against me!
We must work to fight back against the war on boobs. After all, it's for the children.
We are children of the boobies.
Not too many more years before the Japanese will be making and selling three breasted brassieres for their own population.
do they have anything for my penis? its pitiful :-(
You could try a boob implant, width would be awesome, length not so good.
Mammergeddon
Any man who thinks fake tits are cool probably also thinks Obama means well, and Jim Cramer isn't a fucking lunatic.
She is announcing to you how insecure she is. Unless it is a mastectomy (which I get), it is very, very sad. I defend any woman's right to make that choice if she wants to, but I would try to talk a friend out of it.
I'm all for insecure woman, easiest way to get layed, bring on the fake boobs and pandering to woman's insecurities and I know most of the guys who post here secretly agree but are just being politically correct.
You're certainly wrong as far as Im concered.
That chick in the pic.can put those.puppies.in my face and I'll motorboat till my neck cramps. Then I'll gnaw those panties off and then I'll......
Free plastic surgery seems like a good idea. Would I pay an extra $1000 per year in taxes to see fewer ugly people? Possibly.
Not me.
Besides, I hate being operated on.
glad to see some people have their priorities straight.
glad to see some people have their priorities straight.
You all are too young to remember the original "TOTAL RECALL" with Arnold schwarzenegger... the 3 breasted chick was in the movie.