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Humpday Humor: French Cops Await ISIS Suspects At Wrong Airport

Tyler Durden's picture




 

On a day when a French hostage is beheaded by an ISIS splinter group, the bungling of French police's attempts to arrest returning jihadists is simply incredulous...

 

As Bloomberg reports,

The French government struggled to explain its bungling of the arrest of three men suspected of having fought for Islamic State in Syria and deported by Turkey, after police waited for them at the wrong airport.

The men turned themselves in this morning at a gendarme station in southern France, BFM TV reported.

“We went through customs, we showed our passports, and there was no one to meet us,” one of the three men, who gave his name as Imad, told Europe1 radio. “We were quite surprised,” he said, adding that they planned to turn themselves in.

 

They rang the bell at the station in the town of Caylar and were told to wait outside because there was no one there. A police car came 20 minutes later to pick them up and take them to a nearby police station, according to BFM.

The missteps, which Defense Minister Jean-Yves Le Drian called a “major foul-up,” led to accusations of incompetence from the opposition and forced Interior Minister Bernard Cazeneuve to promise an investigation.

Not Their Fault though, right?

After being arrested in Turkey last month, the three men were put on a flight to Orly airport in Paris yesterday. The pilot of that plane refused to fly with them on board, according to a statement from the French Interior Ministry. Turkish police then placed them on a flight to Marseille without informing their French counterparts of the change until after their arrival in France, the ministry said.

 

A computerized passport system at Marseille airport that should have alerted police about the suspects’ arrival was broken, Le Drian said on France Info radio today.

 

It’s a complete mess but a large part of it is due to a lack of good cooperation with the Turkish authorities,” he said. Cazeneuve told reporters he’ll be speaking today to his Turkish counterpart to improve cooperation.

 

...

 

France has joined the U.S. in airstrikes in Iraq.This affair didn’t go as it should have, Prime Minister Manuel Valls said during a parliamentary debate today. “The Interior Minister has spoken about it, and will have the chance to do so again.”

 

About 580 French have fought or are fighting in Syria, and 36 died there, Valls said today. He said 189 have returned, of which 114 have been arrested, 78 charged, and 53 sent to jail.

*  *  *
But at least they know how to 'plan' an economy? oh wait...

 

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Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:13 | 5253577 Martin Silenus
Martin Silenus's picture

There is a time to laugh and a time not to laugh, and this is not one of them.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:20 | 5253601 XRAYD
XRAYD's picture

No. But it IS a time to cry!

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:29 | 5253638 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Il est impossible,   Typical French answer to anything he hears.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 19:01 | 5253756 clooney_art
clooney_art's picture

Inspector Jacques Clouseau

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 20:12 | 5254012 espirit
espirit's picture

I'm confused.

"About 580 French have fought or are fighting in Syria, and 36 died there, Valls said today. He said 189 have returned, of which 114 have been arrested, 78 charged, and 53 sent to jail."

 

Are they freedom fighters, moderate terrorists, ISIS, or Syrian Army sympathizers?

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 21:56 | 5254288 123dobryden
123dobryden's picture

or hezbollah, or specnaz or kurdish or may also be a frogeaters' secret service cunt

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 02:47 | 5254681 svayambhu108
svayambhu108's picture

All governments fight their people not terrorists, the people are the terrorists for them, they have that so well in their mind that they don't even see the real terrorists when they surrender, reality is pulp fiction now.

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 08:03 | 5254878 N2OJoe
N2OJoe's picture

"About 580 French have fought or are fighting in Syria, and 36 died there, Valls said today. He said 189 have returned, of which 114 have been arrested, 78 charged, and 53 sent to jail."

 

He missed the most significant statistic: In addition to those numbers above, 1180 French have surrendered already.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 20:15 | 5254021 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

"Does your dog bite?" Sellers was a genius.

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 01:35 | 5254629 Analyse2
Analyse2's picture

Sort of a cheap shot on France there.

Tyler, this article is only a good excuse to make fun out of the French, and we will surely have a firework of hateful comments and “good jokes” coming from “superior people” - as usual in ZH, when it is about the French.

About the mistake commited by the French Police in this case, just an advice :

« Don't through stones at others if you live in a glass house »

As a sample, remember September 2001 and the «exceptional efficiency and foresight» of US Police and Secret Services.

How many «Inspector Jacques Clouseau» inside ?

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 02:33 | 5254676 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

sont cons, et jaloux, même pas la peine de relever. laisse tomber.

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 06:42 | 5254806 Analyse2
Analyse2's picture

Juste histoire de mettre les choses au clair ...

Sat, 09/27/2014 - 08:03 | 5262362 Analyse2
Analyse2's picture

That’s not all, apart from the «exceptional efficiency and foresight» of US Police, FBI, CIA, NSA etc, there is more: During all these long hours everyone has noticed the «extremely rapid intervention» of the US interceptors, the fighters on the alert 24 hours a day (the redoubtable F15, F16, F18, F22, F35 …etc), guided by a tremendous detection network (NORAD, Hawkeye, Awacs …etc).

On that day, maybe they were all managed by a bunch of “Inspectors Clouseau” …

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:29 | 5253632 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Peter Sellers is dead but Inspector Clouseau is alive and well.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:35 | 5253654 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

With ten men like that, I could destroy the world.

   Commissioner Dreyfus,  Clouseau's boss.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:16 | 5253579 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Oh yes, an investigation, we know what those are.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:33 | 5253651 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:40 | 5253683 radiobomb
radiobomb's picture

Oh wait, I know this one WB7 !

are they the heavily establishment based, and biased, focus groups who draw erroneous conclusions about outrageous events in such a way as to negate the event and provide a distant time-horizon for the baying public to calm down about said outrage, and imagine something is actually being done while protecting vested-interests ?

 

 

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:17 | 5253583 stant
stant's picture

No minky licence

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:16 | 5253586 SgtShaftoe
SgtShaftoe's picture

How far the french have fallen since DeGaulle.  In his day, French Intelligence would have pegged ISIS as a CIA program, publicly.  Very sad. 

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 19:24 | 5253831 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Never got the feeling he was a particularly nice fellow, but at least he was consistent and not afraid to go his own way.

He was surely an irritant to those in government in USA.

Surprised he lasted as long as he did.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 22:37 | 5254380 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Well, de gaulle of that man.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:17 | 5253591 JamesH
JamesH's picture

Oops. Clouseau lives

 

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:22 | 5253610 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Do you have rooum wiz a phooun?"

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:29 | 5253629 Bokkenrijder
Bokkenrijder's picture

"Do yuw hef a swimmingk puuuuullll?"

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:17 | 5253592 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Faux intelligence

 

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:19 | 5253596 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"You'll soon be laughing at the other side of my face my friend!!!"

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:40 | 5253681 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Married (for a while) to Britt Ekland.  A man could do worse.  Hell, we all did;)

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:19 | 5253597 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Maybe we should outsource ObamaCare to the French?  I mean, it's just your mortality.

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 02:21 | 5254667 NeoRandian
NeoRandian's picture

We euthanized some folk.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:20 | 5253602 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

Does your dog bite?

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:59 | 5253750 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXn2QVipK2o

Still hilarious even when you know exactly what's coming. . .

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 02:37 | 5254679 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

hmmm, not.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:22 | 5253607 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Meanwhile they are letting Muslims stream across the border into France and take advantage of social programs while having lots of babies.  Notre Dame Cathedral will be converted to a mosque in 50 years.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:26 | 5253626 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"Poor Kato...they nearly blew his little yellow skin off!"

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 20:06 | 5253994 acetinker
acetinker's picture

eb, if TPTB have their way, there won't be a mosque anywhere on the planet in 50 years.  You really oughta take the time to listen to this- https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&...

Gadfly linked to this recently, but I don't think many followed it.  (Thanks, Gadfly!)

eb, you and nme are smarter than the average bear, and pretty sure you'll both agree that Myron Fagan is too.

Please, I implore you!

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 00:49 | 5254592 zstard
zstard's picture

I'm about half way through the audio file, but Wow.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:22 | 5253608 CHX
CHX's picture

They were Clouseau-ed.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:22 | 5253609 radiobomb
radiobomb's picture

".....Inspector Clouseau to arrivals, paging Inspector Jaques Clouseau....."

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:25 | 5253617 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The French police were probably all very busy investigating crooked politicians, criminal bankers and financiers.
Sorry, very bad humor.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:32 | 5253619 Bokkenrijder
Bokkenrijder's picture

Having lived in France for a few years, I can only testify to their enormous incompetence. Their only field of competence is, you've guessed it: organizing a strike. For the rest, they couldn't organize a piss up in a brewery.

Add a third world country like Turkey (a wannabe member of the EU, yeah rrrriiiight) into the mix and the potential for fuck ups is unlimited.

Here's another French security fuck up of 2004: http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/07/international/europe/07paris.html?_r=0

You think they learned from their mistakes? Nope, a similar thing happened in July 2014: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jul/02/french-police-lose-explosiv...

They are complete idiots!

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 19:26 | 5253838 logicalman
logicalman's picture

They do make good wine and cheese.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 20:39 | 5254111 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

Good food generally, and served in the right portions at the right pace.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 21:05 | 5254162 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Spent some interesting times in my teens in France.

Ran into a lot of very good people and only one or two arseholes.

I think that's mostly how it goes, as long as you avoid countries the US has been 'helping'

 

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 02:41 | 5254680 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

for sure from a country that do not mess inside whole others countries arround the glob, asking politly an information instead of spying.... we cannot be as precise than usa... period.

 

have you found the suspects about 9/11 already ? we dont have to get any lesson from a people electing a nigger as president, go fuck yourself.

 

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 21:23 | 5258228 acetinker
acetinker's picture

Your english sucks, my french is non-existent, but if I understand you correctly, I like your spunk!

Vive la Revolucion!

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:25 | 5253622 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

"It's obvious to my trained eye that there is more going on here than meets the ear".

Inspector Clouseau

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:31 | 5253640 radiobomb
radiobomb's picture

french intelligence -..... oxymoron in 2 words .....

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 19:45 | 5253898 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Marie Curie

Lois Pasteur

Antoine Henri Becquerel

Blaise Pascal

Joseph Fourier

Charles-Augustin de Coulomb

Paul Broca

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 20:00 | 5253965 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Well done, but I would have gone with the artists,

  and maybe Marcel Marceau;)

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 00:21 | 5254564 prmths2
prmths2's picture

Although Marie Sklodowska-Curie was Polish and did not arrive in France until her mid twenties, There are many others who could be added to the list: Ampere, Carnot, Poisson, etc...

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 21:53 | 5258320 acetinker
acetinker's picture

Was Lois Louie's sister?  Just joshin', my typos are epic!

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 01:50 | 5254647 Joe A
Joe A's picture

As in American culture?

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:32 | 5253642 vegas
vegas's picture

Other than Catherine Denueve, what the fuck have the French got to show for themselves?

 

www.traderzoo.mobi

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:54 | 5253732 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Binoche & Adjani

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 19:45 | 5253901 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Marie Curie

Lois Pasteur

Antoine Henri Becquerel

Blaise Pascal

Joseph Fourier

Charles-Augustin de Coulomb

Paul Broca

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 12:44 | 5256168 flacorps
flacorps's picture

Lavoisier. Cugnot.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:42 | 5253643 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Inspecteur Clouzot is France's most famous policeman. 

Good film director Clouzot. he made la Vérité with BB. When drunk he acted as Clouseau. 

 

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 01:01 | 5254604 Joe A
Joe A's picture

Les Diaboliques scared the shit out of me as a child. Later in life it did not scare me so much but it is an excellent movie. Opening tune I use on my phone when wifey rings.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:33 | 5253646 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

. . . but the french and uk gubbermints were AOK when these ' freedom fighters ' were on their way to join FSA against Assad.
Incompetence is not the word i'd use for these ' civil servants ' , TWISTED DUMBFUCKS would be more appropriate and REAPING WHAT YOU SOW is an expression that springs to mind.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 21:10 | 5254169 logicalman
logicalman's picture

If only the fucks that cause the problems really did reap what they sow.

Usually the reaping happens to anyone but those that cause them.

Those that cause wars rarely take prt in the fighting.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:36 | 5253649 Keltner Channel Surf
Keltner Channel Surf's picture

Hmm . . . saw a limo driver today at the Cleveland Airport near the taxi entrance, a half-eaten baguette sticking out of his breast pocket, holding a sign reading "ISIS", with an accent over the second "I" -- didn't think much of it at the time...

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:35 | 5253660 kowalli
kowalli's picture

So France have "About 580 French have fought or are fighting " in sovereign Syria and no sanctions for them>?wtf?

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:39 | 5253672 Karaio
Karaio's picture

Will deliver the Mistrals the wrong address? 

The Russians will not like the excuse ... 

hehe.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:44 | 5253697 Rastadamus
Rastadamus's picture

I'll have a large order of french fries...... fuck the freedom.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 18:44 | 5253698 Flagit
Flagit's picture

The fighting is far from over. Why are they returning?

After being arrested in Turkey last month, the three men were put on a flight to Orly airport in Paris yesterday.

WTH? Are they on furlough? Why aren't they with the other soldiers? It almost sounds like they deserted.

 

The pilot of that plane refused to fly with them on board, according to a statement from the French Interior Ministry.

What could be the pilots motivation to take such a stern action?

 

Turkish police then placed them on a flight to Marseille without informing their French counterparts of the change until after their arrival in France, the ministry said.

Well, that pilot did not share his concerns.

About 580 French have fought or are fighting in Syria, and 36 died there, Valls said today. He said 189 have returned, of which 114 have been arrested, 78 charged, and 53 sent to jail.

Again, why are they returning? Why soo desperate to turn themselves in? What story do these 189 returnees have to tell?

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 20:19 | 5254046 bonin006
bonin006's picture

Regarding your last question, it would seem they have absorbed the essence of being French.

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 19:14 | 5253798 Fuku Ben
Fuku Ben's picture

Sacré bleu! Idiots!

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 20:04 | 5253978 Cautiously Pess...
Cautiously Pessimistic's picture

You guys just hate them for their superior ship building skillz. 

>> Mistral Class Amphibious Assault Ship <<

Vladimir says to quit all that HATIN....

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 20:37 | 5254106 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

ISIS, like ebola, is everywhere already.

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 01:04 | 5254605 Joe A
Joe A's picture

It says more about the Turks than about the French. But the men reporting themselves in is a bit of a surprise but perhaps they were afraid they would get wacked because French antiterrorism squads don't mess about.

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 02:47 | 5254682 Jano
Jano's picture

why do not the authorities wave a citizenship of those people? Ehm, I mean why not shoot them on the spot, or better, behead them on the spot?

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 04:30 | 5254720 KnightianUncertainty
KnightianUncertainty's picture

It may seem embarrasing for France, but in reality this is an embarrasing feature of most of our EU countries. You cannot expect anything good from our bureaucratic system.

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 05:24 | 5254755 mantrid
mantrid's picture

has anyone noticed these men weren't bombed by drones without due court? they just turned themselves in at police! look ma, no drones!!!

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