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The Billionaire Social Calendar
With Janet Yellen set to remove the 'wealth-creating' nutrients of QE within a month, it appears there is only way left to The American Dream... latch on to a billionaire (or their son or daughter). As a patriotic courtesy to our readers we provide the dummies guide to befriending a wealthy benefactor... everything from their marital status and demographic to the most critical factor for success - where to hang out in 2015 to catch their eye.
Globally, over 9,000 individuals have access to billionaire resources: 86% of all billionaires are married and, on average, have just over two children each.
Generally speaking, billionaires form bonds and relationships with individuals who share their interests and abilities. As a result, billionaires tend to have large social circles, and often associate with other billionaires or other ultra-high-net-worth (UHNW) individuals.
In fact, we find that billionaires typically have business or personal relationships with another nine UHNW individuals, three of which are billionaires. The typical billionaire has a social graph (defined as the total net worth of a billionaire’s UHNW and billionaire known associates) worth US$16 billion.
Certain events are “must-go” for many billionaires and those in their social circles, while other events are of interest only to a specific group of billionaires with particular hobbies and passions. For example, for those billionaires who have an interest in golf, the US Masters and PGA Championship are likely to feature prominently in their 2015 social calendar. Likewise, at least 23% of the world’s billionaires are likely to attend at least one, if not more, of the many elite art shows held annually around the world.
So how do find them?
You're Welcome.
Source: UBS WealthX
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Shit, the only thing on here that matches my calander is the Singapore Yacht Show...., but then again... I'm not a billionaire. /Sarc
I prefer the John Cleese approach ('I'm sorry I can't be there but here's my video acceptance') or Groucho Marx's ('I don't want to be a member of a golf club that would have me as a member').
DavidC
Fox hunt Wednesday. Maid wants it OUTDOORS this time.
Friday: Shut down New Jersey.
Since most billionaires are of the male persuasion, this info doesn't do me much good. And, I'm certainly not about to switch teams for the likes of Buffet or Ichan.
And the billionaires that are of the female persuasion are probably somewhat on the Janet Yellen side when it comes to looks.
So, maybe we should start slumming and look in the multi-millioniare demographics.
Might, just might be more attractive women multimillionairs out there.
Of course, I could always just put a bag over their head.
man, me thinks now the billionares will find other places to hang out...
the last thing they want to see is a bunch of angry ZH'ers (who know they are responsible for the worlds ill's) armed with pitch forks and torches....tar, feathers, i could go on...
OH, THE HORROR......
My weekday calendar: work, eat, sleep.
My weekend calendar: work, eat, skate, guitar, sleep.
Done, bitchez. You don't need billions to have fun.
Wake up
BJ
Breakfast
BJ
Shower
BJ
Work
BJ
lunch
BJ
Work
BJ
Drinks
BJ
Dinner
BJ
TV
BJ
Bed
Rinse repeat
Wow you sure give a lot of BJs, but shouldn't they be classed as work?
Maybe they would want to put a bag over your head?
How many billionaires marry Jewish?
You forget that a good number of them actually procreate--some even a fairly large number of times. Were I you, I wouldn't be sniffing after Papa. He won't introduce you to Glorious Little Gloria, anyway. Find out where SHE hangs out...
As Mongo searches today for just the right tree to hang his tree stand on in anticipation of bow season here in SWPA he'll be on the lookout for any billionaires to befriend :-)
funny how the "terrorists" never target any of these events
"terrorists" don't bite the hand that feeds
If only ISIS would "be heading" their way.
BA DA BOomm.....<pishhhhh> !
Thank you, thank you ! I'll be here all week. Try the veal. And be sure to tip your waiter.
Billionaires grand daughter.
Antigua in April,.. who's coming with me?
Go for the Singapore Grand Pricks.
We need to find about 9000 guys who want to die for freedom, no bad.
Ought to be 9,000 disenfranchised Vets who realize now they were sacrificing for Wall Street/Banksters/M.I.C. instead of defending the Homeland and Liberty.
Patronage for breakfast!
at the donut shop
Somehow I just dont think I'd fit in...
Theres only one thing on this list that I would even want to attend anyway. Well, back to my Alpo breakfast!
How very DARE you share my social calendar with the world. You will be hearing from my lawyers in due course.
Unless she is 5ft 10, blonde, and a body to die for. Which is quite probable at my age (dying, that is).
It's the Trillionaire's club I aim for! Move aside, Rothschilds and Rockefellows and Warburgs and Schiffs and Lazards. MAKE ROOM FOR ME!!!!!!!!
Buy one of these then:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/100-TRILLION-DOLLAR-ZIMBABWE-NOTE-2008-AA-SERIES...
I didn't see the Cannes Children's Sex Slave Auction in there. What? Too early?
Those events take place in Dubai and Cannes. I hear.
That kind of human trafficking is typically done by Muslims: Albanian Mafia, or MENA scum.
Right, never happens in Tel Aviv, human trafficking capital of the world.
Hmmm.., learn something every day. Now why haven't my Israeli friends (anti-Zionists!) told me about this? Probably because none of us are into this sort of shit, or they don't travel in those circles.
Just like you can find hit-men, if you know the 'right' people -- which I don't. Retired Captains lead a clean life. The older, the cleaner. Less patience for grief or BS of any kind. Which is why my wife chuckles whenever I 'threaten' to trade her in for a younger model.
Your accountant can prolly set you up with a hit man.
Maybe the sex slave auction as well, depends what tribe he belongs to.
Let's skip the shit, names and addresses please.
Which one? They have many. Some of them are 200+ feet long and have no permanent address.
Damn, where am I supposed to send all my birthday and get well-cards to then?
only way left to The American Dream... latch on to a billionaire
Not so sure about that. Kidnapping a humble and witty ZH (non-billionaire) contributor is working out pretty well. Our social calendar includes such events as sunsets, harvest, star gazing and the lady's auxillary. I'll take hanging out with the wild-life over the UHNW crowd any day.
Friday's lady's auxiliary craft show was a blast. I picked up some Dowsing Rods, 2 bars of homemade oatmeal lavender soap, a hand painted nick-nac wooden box and a wonderful matted image of two chairs arranged around a checkers board placed on a barrel between them.
<BTW the Dowsing Rods indicate I have water on the brain. Whocouldaknowed water was so close at hand?>
Cog....I think you need to spend some time with boys, hunting fishing..etc...or we could be dealing with 2 Mrs.Cogs
s/
I blame it on the water on the brain issue. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :-)
Hmmm, no crop picking parties?
If you want to picture what this will look like:
Picture a young jamie dimon sucking on a yellen and poor old janet has run dry, what's little Jamie going to do. That's right, the left one. And then..........
im sick of trying. Might I suggest articles on how to bed billionaire women?
any pointers appreciated
All the good ones are already taken.
<Besides you probably don't have Reptile blood so she will have to eat you after mating.>
www.cougardate.com
It ain't pretty, but I bet it would get the job done if you stuck with it a while.
Reptilian or not, if you ate her before the mating, she won't eat you after the mating. ;-),
Really.
Only my Danish oligarch has a very pretty daughter.
The others offspring will be just plain, or ugly, once the bloom of youth sags.
Isn't the question "where to go where billionaires seek you"?
Here is one of those places.
more interesting is being with those who hold truth above all else, the ultra rich are paid to avoid any truth at all cost, they have paid for illusion and illusion it will be.
If billionaires did not exist , it would be necessary to invent them . A form of capital concentration .
See http://andreswhy.blogspot.com/2012/12/biderbergerssuperheroes-or-supervi...
But they do not seem to represent a threat to a vigilant population . They are merely the top , visible part of the Elite .
See http://andreswhy.blogspot.com/2014/05/human-predators-and-bankers.html
Elites have historically been about 5% of population . In US in 2010 5% owned 72% . See http://www2.ucsc.edu/whorulesamerica/power/wealth.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World's_Billionaires : 1645 in 2014
Elite 5% of 7 Bn = 350 million . in US , about 1.5 million with income over $232 000 pa .
No meaningful change is possible unless this class is suborned .
What do the ZH Ladies think of this? Miffed, MsCreant... ?
I believe that about 25% of the female population is bat shit crazy. I am sure the article would appeal to them if they could find it. Normal women, myself included, could care less how much money is there as long as it will pay the bills.
I would be lucky to be one of the three (un)known associates.
If you don't pay one way you pay another.
Sorry, your chance of befriending let alone getting money from a billionaire is nil.
But you CAN become a billionaire's butler, valet, chauffeur, stable boy or eunuch. There are openings for caddy, game warden, cook, personal secretary, Really personal secretary, footman, personal trainer, beekeeper, archivist, pool boy, and decoy body double in case of assassination attempt
you missed really personal trainer, don't gender discriminate against female billionaires plz
True. But what do you call a female billionaire's chief stylist?
Billionhairess. And most of them would be flattered.
My guess is even jobs working for billionaires have their own gatekeepers, and gatekeepers of gatekeepers. At the lowest levels (security at one of the 25 vacation homes, for example) you might not even know WHO you are working for. Trying to mingle into a billionaires circle at Davos will get you escorted out by security, if you somehow made it in the begin with...what a sad reminder of how far removed these folks are from the rest of us...
Maybe at Davos, but some of us have unfettered access to some of their mansions and
yachts.Their overall security is piss poor.
Today's billionaires are tommorrow's owners (assuming they can hold onto their wealth). They are the intial builders. It is the family trusts and such that come afterwards where the mass owning part comes in. Remember they didn't build this either those trust fund owner offspring inherited what their parents and grandparents who were respective equivalent millionare/billionaires in their time built just like us.
They are more like tinkerers and maintainers and once they lose that knowledge of the initial builders who actually understood how things work, which is an important skill to build anything from scratch it eventually comes tumbling down.
An example of this is common core. When I hear these a-holes complain about the convoluted methods common core teaches to solve a math problem and they are convoluted then say 5-6 = 1 simple. I ask them this simple question do you know why 1 + 1 = 2. Almost none of them know the answer yet they assume simple 1 + 1 = 2. It is the classic example of an uncritically thinking mind. How the fuck can build or even maintain something if you don't know the why behind it.
Tell me and I'll forget, show me and I'll remember ... involve me and I'll understand. Unrequited sharing is anathema to greedy people. Sharing the "why" threatens their advantage. I always assumed it was more about the "who" you know not the how or why when it comes to aberrations like Billionaires / Oligarchs.
5 - 6 = -1 in my part of the universe ?
There are 3 types of people in this world, those that can count and those that can't. Sometimes a typo is intentional, sometimes it isn't. The who part is more important when the resources are scarce. During the oil boom for example or gold booms it wasn't who you knew that was the important part. Of course they don't want to share the why but when things are this large and complex you have to. It is either that or it shrinks down to size where you don't. The more that understand why the better since it allows for breaking bad cycles and moving onto new and better things. You keep spinning around in the hamster wheel and nothing changes until you do. People are the problem and also the solution and that is how you build people to be the solution. If they don't want to take the step then fuck them once they do know, they can't blame everyone and everything else at that point. You can't really waste anymore time and effort on people like that until they come around voluntarily. These owner types try control both ends of the game tricking people into thinking they are doing it voluntarily.
Can't wait until the guillotine world tour is on that calendar.
You could go the John Kerry route and marry the widow of a billionaire who dies in a freak plane crash!
Sometimes you have to make your own magic.
Hmmm... Well, he (John F Kerry - JFK) always did have a psychic link to the Kennedys or their lifestyle.
p.s. Billionaires should treat and pay their airplane mechanics better than they treat their wives, mistresses or whores. It turns out that the former has you more "by the balls" than the latter.
A nut fastened with loctite, a locking washer and a cotter pin fell off. I don't think the mechanic was at fault.
It was Martians
I finally figured it out. Judging by the articles posted most weekends, weekend Tyler is a bitter, lonely, aging closet lesbo. She might even be attractive if she tried to fix herself up.
Now, now. Skipping past the bitter, lonely stuff...
if, IF the w/e Tyler is female, does this mean that "Marla" is back?
Fuck Di Caprio and his Jet-setting Global Warming BS agenda too.
Fuck Hollywood Zio-Pics about Billionaires and Wall Street creeps.
Boycott Hollywood and their Zio agit-prop.
Saturday morning and the blessed monsoon continues here in Phoenix
And where is PETA these days? NYC's mayor kills the icon of Groundhog Day and nobody says a word? What did they do with the body, just drop it in a dumpster? Why was nothing said, this goes back to the February 2, 2014?!?!
This is clearly a coverup on a massive scale!
WE DEMAND ANSWERS AND ACCOUNTABILITY!!!
http://time.com/3430689/groundhog-bill-de-blasio-nyc/
de blasio killed Andy McDowell and threw her in a dumpster? WTF!?
Of course it would be more in keeping with his genetic heritage if he called it a big rat & squeezed it good, so it died of internal bleeding. Not good press... but very traditional.
The coroner would call that suicide. Chopped off her arms and legs she did, and stuffed herself in a bag too. Then she knotted it and put herself in the trash can before snuffing it. Perky girl, yes, most resourceful.
I think ZH should service billionaires elite with positive posts.
An excellent business model, if they used ZH.
And they don't.
no super bowl... no world series.. no sturgis....
ZHers need to get over it and learn to serve the ultra-Billionaires with gusto. Perhaps with Chianti and fava beans...
Hey Tyler checkout this article from the NYT:
Court Casts a New Light on a Bailouthttp://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/28/business/court-casts-a-new-light-on-a-...
Michael Moore was right about the financial Coup d'état
.
What you call philanthropy is social engineering.
A most astute observation. +100
Very Eurocentric bunch.
The US and Australian Opens must conflict with more important events.
Snow Polo anyone?
Textbooks, Teachers & Demographic Variability
We have once again reached that point in the empire cycle where/when (spacetime) the majority is completely adrift, lost in the minutia of its own derivatives, chasing its own tail. Nothing is learned from a textbook, drafted by committee, for the purpose of maintaining extortion toll booths. Giving the critters technology is like showing them where to fish; their population grows until it collapses, when the fish move.
The vast majority on this planet can do three things: operate an arbitrary diagnostic device to confirm the status quo, identify probabilities from the resulting distribution in an attempt to bypass proprietary systems, and simply accept the stupidity. The moneychangers are just parasites taking advantage of the latest technology, feeding and harvesting the demographic booms and busts of technology with self-fulfilling prophesies. Government, always the derivative of the majority, is always the last and worst choice for educating your children.
Why would you allow critters who have never successfully raised their own children to raise yours, based upon something they heard from somebody who read a textbook, written by somebody who observed parents who could not raise their children to become productive, even if you knew nothing about raising children?
The only reason you send your children to school is to see why the majority’s economy is always fubared, so they don’t need to see what the critters hiding in a building, in a cubicle, behind a computer, are doing, from five thousand miles away, to discount the behavior appropriately.
The accelerator and brake in your car are now electronic circuits, arbitrary overlays in a closed extortion system, subject to environmental variables. If you lose your electronic choke, what do you suppose happens when you apply both the brake and accelerator to get going without warming up the car? You now have an electronic timing circuit. What do you suppose happens if you take your car to a mechanic without a proprietary computer to set the timing? What effect do you suppose that has on pricing?
Why would you allow some moron medical scientist hurling baseballs at chimps strapped into a seat decide whether or not, how or when, you are going to have children? The critters always have children when others have children, and stop when others stop. And they always find themselves trapped in smaller cubicles in each round accordingly.
What equality under the law, of ignorance, jealousy and greed, means is that you must allow the government of the majority to disable you to the extent you accept your assigned position in the FILO bankruptcy queue, based upon a compliance feedback process regurgitated in school, like everyone else.
What I am telling you is that your best approach is to spend 10% of your time doing just that, because gravity has its uses, so you don’t have to bother with their cops and military, in a closed system that can only blow up, and that by letting them steal the second derivative of your development, your children can do the same at least cost in time, but you have to learn for yourself, because the planet is not quite so stupid as you may have been led to believe.
Regardless of what you want to do, find someone who has done something similar, to learn, at whatever cost is demanded, and in the meantime, pick up the building block skills, in your travels. Don’t expect the old-timer, with the necessary assets to discount on your behalf to take you seriously otherwise. Labor is not going to wait for you to wake the f* up.
$100 for an oil change; what does that tell you?
The only way it makes sense to have that garage work on your car is if you know what the problem is, you make more per hour than you are going to be charged and you can trust the mechanic, or you want to support the garage, the probability of which is very small.
Why do you suppose California is protecting its education system at all cost?
We need to set up a fund for Ebola victims to travel to all those events and spread some love.
Hmmmm. Not many monster truck rallies or mixed martial arts festivals on the social calendar.
Probably explains why my private jet is usually the only one at the executive terminal when I go to one of these events.
Don't worry about the billionaires . Watch out for the Elite
https://www.academia.edu/8518616/The_Elite
May you all be blessed to see the day they're robbed and sacrificed by their lord and master
So what are the trillionaires, chopped liver? (Not that I didn't wish it were so...)
The evil men do lives after them;
the good is always interred with their bones.
Marrying money is a life sentence.
A New Leaf
Ozzy Osbourne-Crazy Train Lyrics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otdHbA4GlSI (5:10)
ANTIGUAN SAILING WEEK??
Nah, not for Billoinares. Those with few Millions, maybe. Infra is quite bad.
Sint Maarten, Barbados, Martinique, and St. Kitts are FAR Better places to go.