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Tuesday Humor: S##t Happens, But Not In China
On the heels of the Ebola news.. we thought a laugh was in order...
Umm...
10,000 pigeons go through anal security check for suspicious objects Tue, ready to be released on National Day on Wed pic.twitter.com/HitEpLMv8o
— People's Daily,China (@PDChina) September 30, 2014
Those Chinese TSA agents must have very small hands...
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and I thought the TSA made it obtrusive to fly.
Millions of Amerikans go through literal or figurative anal security daily.
'Merika.
Here I thought that I had a shitty job.
Meanwhile, tens of thousands of dead pigs are floating down a Chinese river.
Listen One.
Just another excuse to "FRY" the bird.
GO!
Pigeon is the Mandarin word for "SHEEP"
Or was it snack... I always forget...
Listen Crazy Cat.
In my above comment I made a mistake with the English language. I wrote: "Just another excuse to "FRY" the bird."
I looked it up and I should have wrote: "Just another excuse to choke the chicken"!
Sorry for the mistake. Now back to some serious hedging.
Both still make no sense to me but that said I admit I'm basically an idiot.
Better hedge your serious hedge with some back-up hedging just in case....
It certainly explains why AnAnonymous hasn't posted any comments lately.
I think the funniest thing about this article is the "Tweet" link right below the headline when you first read this on the front page of ZH.
It is not evident whether it is an "anal", i.e. persnickety checkpoint, or whether they're actually searching the digestive tracts of these birds.
Assuming it is the later, lol.
Lets make a new holiday for China, we need some new holiday's around here, we can call it made in China day and everyone takes the day off.
Listen Rates.
Why bother?
I think I understand.
Made in China Day - not working.
Trouble is it would still be crap.
OK, even if you leave out the word 'anal' it still makes no sense. Security checking pigeons for suspicious objects? Like what? Smuggling gold into India from China by way of pigeon? Illegal transportation of narcotics? Human sex trafficing? What?
The terrorists are said to be using notes stuffed up pigeons asses to communicate with each other.
I blame the NSA for these blatant animal rights violations...
Standard practice used to be 'tied to one leg'
If I were a pigeon, I think I'd prefer that.
It's tougher for the gunners and drones to spot you when you hide it up your ass.
If you were a pigeon that is...
SNIP-
China Daily Times
Up to 10,000 suspicious animals of the Avian type have been identified as suspicious, and are being subjected to extra security measures just one day before 'China Day'; a day in which all Chinese are thankful that their State Government keeps them safe from harm.
SNIP-
A wild rumor has been circulated that the PLA is mistreating these suspects, fueled by access to Western media outlets on the evil and decadent 'Internets'. Official party spokesman Won Hung Lo has repeatedly refuted such rumors. He stated that 'official Chinese bird quarantine areas are nothing like the Western version of Guantanamo'. In the meantime, Chinese officials have promised that the skies above Bejing will be clear and cloudless due to seeding operations like those of the Olympic Games that China invented before the Greeks did.
SNIP-
If they are checking you know it has already happend and has become a problem.
Not in the intel community so pardon my ignorance but what kind of 'suspicious object' fits inside a pigeons ass?
Listen F0ster.
Too much question.
Thanks anyway.
Those who implore others to listen to them and then state nothing relevant are either drunk, or ignorant.
Hopefully, you are drunk, Bangalore Equity.
Enjoy it while you can.
I guess the Chinese think pigeons are like Dr. Who's 'Tardis'. A lot bigger on the inside than on the outside, thanks to carefully folded space/time.
ReTardis Maximus
OT: If you are a Dr. Who fan, check out An Adventure In Space And Time.
Wouldn't feel good, I'm guessing, but a 64GB micro SD would probably be possible.
That's a lot of info.
Trick would be making sure the aforementioned avian didn't take a crap before reaching its desination.
Or, maybe TPTB are just planting a seed - something to work with later!
Ban pigeons, I say.
Just in case.
'Home base'
'Roger'
'Bogies on the six, coming slow and low. Do you copy?'
'Ah, roger that. We have them on the scope.'
'Home base, do I have authorization to arm?'
'Checking. Dr. Strangelove states it looks like Carrier Pigeons.'
''They're 10 miles out, and circling. Looks like they're looking for a landing spot. I have armed drones with painted beads and hot-runs. Request permission to fire, Home Base.'
'Negative, "CIC" authorization pending.'
'OMG, it looks like they found a landing spot! Is that a STATUE? They're painting it with white runny stuff out of their...'
'WHAT IS IT?'
'Home Base, they just took a shit on U.S. Grant's statue. Request authorization to fire!'
(Obama Interrupt)
'ENGAGE, ENGAGE, ENGAGE! Call sign is DOWN THE BIRD!'
Perhaps White House should hire these security guys instead of the "secret" service!
pigeons are gay so they liked it.
sorry. i heard that first hand during the "we were born this way" phase of the search for gay identity as an argument for the natural occurence of homosexuality......so there was no cruelty to animals for you peta people.
Show them some picture of things with two heads, who were also born that way.
Then run away...fast.
I say, old chap, is that really necessary?
That's a hell of a lot of unhappy pigeons.
Small hands is not all. ("They" say.)
To my father's generation a "pigeon" was slang for the "mark" in a scam; a naive dumbass easily duped out of his money.
To my generation a "pigeon" is slang for a slutty chick, dumb but not crazy, reasonably attractive, and a good candidate for a one-nighter.
I have no idea what a "pigeon" means to today's youth, or to Chinese TSA agents.
The difference between Pidgeons and Sheep: 101.
PIDGEONS are stupid and gullible, but when they see that the shit is about to hit the fan, they can take flight.
SHEEP look better than pidgeons do, as they are usually cleaner and try not to eat shit like their avian brothers. However, they lack the ability to fly away; rather preferring the 'herd mentality'.
I don't know what a 'PI-GEON' is, though. is this 3.1412 of a Geon bird?
Walter?
- How nervous are investors at this poin?
- Well, it's hard to tell since most of them have trained themselves to never show fear but clearly, there were a lot of jitters across the market this morning after reports came that the impending Chivas deal between Rico Perez and Bones Goreman was called off after Pigeon told Hacks to put Bones on shitwatch.
(Onion News)
Julia,
X L N T.
The Pointer Sisters - Slow Hand
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnVOt2LK2Gg (3:42)
They are probably super-glueing their cloaca shut, to prevent the shit from 10,000 pigeons from being dumped on the crowd after release.
Every time I turn on the news and see ObLowMe, I feel anully mistreated, instantly. It happened so fast.....
At first it just seems funny, until.....
PETA spokesunit Terd Nurdlinger released the following statement: "PETA protests the subjecting of thousands of innocent pigeons to brutal digital anal rape. Human fingers, even the diminutive digits of Asians, are far too large to probe the slender and amazingly tight ani of these brethren fowl. In so doing, the trauma results in pigeons being incontinent of stool and likely to defecate anywhere. They seem to have a proclivity to do so on statuary in public spaces. And perhaps most importantly, this also permanently renders the afflicted birds incapable of farting audibly".