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"Tea-Tray" Index Suggests The Next Financial Apocalypse Is Imminent

Tyler Durden's picture




 

As The FT's Capital Markets Editor mockingly retorts, the next financial apocalypse is imminent because...

 

 

Funny - but ironically a grain (or more) of truth here

 

h/t @RalphAtkins

 

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Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:08 | 5291593 dow jones 20000
dow jones 20000's picture

You can't eat tea trays

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:31 | 5291685 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

I'd stack silver tea trays.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:37 | 5291708 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

 

 

The next financial apocalypse is imminent because of...

All the tea (spelled G-O-L-D) in China!

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:46 | 5291745 Abitdodgie
Abitdodgie's picture

don't the makets crash on the 7/8 of October because of the blood moon and the shemitah , and blood will run in the streets and everyone dies, or somthing like that.

 

 

 

 

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:54 | 5291765 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Personally, I prefer the Mom Index. When my mother calls me and says she thinks she should allocate some money for the stock market, as she did three weeks ago, I know we have hit a top.

This contrarian indicator has been successful in 1987, 2000 and 2009.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:07 | 5291809 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Personally, I prefer the Clydesdale Index

Which of course is the number of Clydesdales  it take to get the fat bitch  off your face in the morning you picked up drunk the night before thinking she was hot for asking you what stocks to buy.

Now you know.

You mooks!

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:36 | 5291883 max2205
max2205's picture

I like the tea trays with WiFi or at least Bluetooth

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:40 | 5291896 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Went to have my Grandmother's old silver tea tray appraised... turns out Granny had a few surprises up her sleeve.  It was something called EPC (Electro-Plated Copper).  Worthless.

Imaging owning a tea tray with all the nightmares of cleaning egraved tarnished silver, but with no value whatsoever.  Nuts.

 

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:48 | 5292075 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Yes... but... if the queen had visited, she would have been impressed.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:33 | 5292452 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Story on local Los Angeles TV news about people buying condos in downtown LA and never moving in.   Investments that they just hold until they double.   I remember in 2005-2006 period some of my co workers were buying condos in Las Vega with the same idea.  They all got wiped out.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 21:24 | 5292612 bilbert
bilbert's picture

I hear that's also a popular meme in China - buying condo's and filpping them with nobody ever moving in.

What could go wrong with that?

 

 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 02:45 | 5293370 Major Malfunction
Major Malfunction's picture

All of this has happened before, and it will all happen again.

 

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:43 | 5291902 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

The next BIG downturn is near because so many people have now loaded up on debt during the last 5 years (as well as corporations, which is never mentioned by the financial presstitutes) - to purchase vehicles, homes, boats, etc.

In fact, consumer & corporations now have record levels of debt, surpassing the levels they carried in 2007, prior to the 2008 debt/liquidity/economic crises.

This also has had the perverse effect of pulling consumption forward in a massive style (again, based on assumption of debt - i.e. 3.5% down FHA backed [taxpayer] mortgages; subprime explosion in vehicle sales; student loan-a-palooza), so that everyone will be loaded up with crap and debt when the next crisis hits.

So, good job Bernanke, Yellen & Central Banks of the world!

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:08 | 5292345 daveO
daveO's picture

Considering the real economy hasn't grown any since the start of counterfeiting, the next QE bailout will have to be big enough to cover all the debt created in the last 5 years, plus any created until it starts!

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:12 | 5291965 knukles
knukles's picture

14

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:43 | 5292066 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

That is a lot of big horse power.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 19:40 | 5292259 knukles
knukles's picture

(in John Wayne voice)

"Well, that's one big lotta woman we're moving there, pilgrim"

 

XOXOXO  Hope all's well with you :)

Thu, 10/09/2014 - 10:25 | 5308422 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Maybe you ought to see if you can get Obama to invest in your solar project?

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:49 | 5292080 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Big ain't necessarily bad, brah.

At least they're (usually) grateful.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:35 | 5291884 EINSILVERGUY
EINSILVERGUY's picture

True Story

I had just started working for a BIG 8 brokerage company in 1987 when the market crashed. Had moved to Chicago from Texas 4 months before to take a Ops Mgr training job when the mkt went belly up. I was actually on the margin desk the day the mkt crashed (Green bar margin report went from 1/4 inch think to over 6 inches thick at the end of the day. Spent most of the night with 2 other clerks  sending teletypes through western union for margin calls, wondering how long I would have a job) 

Spent the next 8 years in banking and brokerage before going back and getting a CIS degree and transitioing into technology. I remember being at DELL with a bunch of Kid's just out of school who were busy building their portfolios and thinking they would retire at 40 and that the ride would never end.

Being in IT with a finance background , I was in a group supporting the companies financial apps. I remember talking to some of the people in accounts payable (who we supported from the IT side). Lots of nice mothers with kids who were making income by working admin jobs at the company. One day I walk by one of the desks and I hear one of the moms talking about a great stock that was hot and how she was going to buy some shares and her portfolio was rocking.  I had a flashback back to 1987 and the old story of how Joe Kennedy knew to get out when the shoeshine boy started giving him tips.  I started moving my portfolio out of equities and into cash and staggered CD's.  Peoples memories always fail

I have the same feeling I had in 1999. This is going to be much worse though. 

"Those who fail to remember the past are condemned to repeat it" Santayana

 

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:45 | 5291908 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

my grandfather did the same thing before this last crash. He sold off everything and went to cash and CDs. My dad thought he was crazy, selling everything like that. He missed the last 3 or 4 months of the rally, but stuck with it, and looked pretty damn smart by the end of that year

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:46 | 5291910 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

my grandfather did the same thing before this last crash. He sold off everything and went to cash and CDs. My dad thought he was crazy, selling everything like that. He missed the last 3 or 4 months of the rally, but stuck with it, and looked pretty damn smart by the end of that year

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:14 | 5291971 knukles
knukles's picture

"The only thing we remember form the past is that we don't remember shit."
       -Knukles

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:09 | 5292348 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

May I quote you on that, good sir?

:-)

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 22:15 | 5292814 StateofFraud
StateofFraud's picture

"Those who fail to remember the past are condemned to repeat it" Santayana

... And those of us who do remember the past are condemned to watch hopelessly as everyone else repeats it.

Thu, 10/09/2014 - 10:28 | 5308444 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

LOL. ah, an optimist !

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:35 | 5292038 Village-idiot
Village-idiot's picture

You're probably right.

But, when she tells you to eat your vegetables...you eat them!

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:37 | 5292466 Karlus
Karlus's picture

Mom Index: "Should we be long GoPro, Tesla and Facebook? You know Pa wants to kill it again this year for that new Buick and some new sticks to show off to his buddies at the Viliages."

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:41 | 5292487 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

For me it was the faucet index that made me think the end was nigh. Going into Home Depot at the hieght of the (previous) housing bubble I found a large section of their best display space filled by ornate kitchen faucets priced up to $1000. It isn't a high end boutique shop so if the shoppers were buying enough of these frivelous things to make it worth using the display space... When I saw the display I thought of the guy who got advice on stocks from his shoeshine man.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:36 | 5291882 Dr.Hill
Dr.Hill's picture

Aren't Tuesdays historicaly bad for Wall St.?

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:34 | 5292036 Village-idiot
Village-idiot's picture

The Shmitah year is 2015; it just started this month.

7 years after the last market crash in Sept/Oct 2015

14 years after 9/11

21 years after the 1994 market drop

28 years after the Oct 1987 biggest one day drop of the Dow

etc.

etc.

Don't make a joke out of something you obviously know little about.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:55 | 5292530 Steaming_Wookie_Doo
Steaming_Wookie_Doo's picture

There's also history of crashes after astronomical Grand Crosses, not sure on the exact timing of year btwn those.

Check out the Foundation for the Study of Cycles, they cover all sorts of things. Was created back in the 40's.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:20 | 5291846 Payne
Payne's picture

Be careful what you joke about, you might be known as the bell ringer for doom.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:42 | 5291727 WTFRLY
WTFRLY's picture

Fukushima: Tsunami from typhoon may hit nuclear plant, cause possible radioactive cesium release http://wtfrly.com/2014/10/05/fukushima-tsunami-may-hit-nuclear-plant-cau...

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:58 | 5291931 Fuku Ben
Fuku Ben's picture

If I stop posting start worrying

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:50 | 5291750 Excursionist
Excursionist's picture

You can eat tea trays, iPads and all sorts of other non-perishables if you head the NY Fed.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:04 | 5291801 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

"Many people do  not realize that the Volkswagen has 67 edible parts."  (Euell Gibbons)

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:24 | 5291862 NuckingFuts
NuckingFuts's picture

Gibbons reference might be missed by a few but my copy of 'stalking the wild asparagus' is always at arms reach during these troubled times....

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:26 | 5292009 Village-idiot
Village-idiot's picture

Yeah, but the tires are kind of chewy.

Thu, 10/09/2014 - 10:30 | 5308456 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

LOL. uh. yeah. good old Euel Gibbons; made me laugh until it hurt.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:10 | 5291607 401K of Dooom
401K of Dooom's picture

Good!  Now I'm ready for the collapse.  When the dow sinks, I will make out like a Rothschild and pick up as many bargains as possible.  Then I will be living larger than those MTV rap stars.  I wonder if I can put in a bid for Martha Quinn, one of the original V-Jays from MTV?

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:42 | 5291903 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Don't expect a bounce-back off the bottom like this last time.  The Fed knows the next one is the widowmaker.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:56 | 5291923 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

not neccessarily. It all depends on the petro dollar scheme, and continued acceptance of the dollar. Obviously the fed really can't drop intrest rates mucher lower, but they can re start the QE nonsense. As they say, this one is open ended. Probably start around 120 bil a month. As long as people continue to give us real things in exchange for dollars we conjure into existence on a computer screen, the market will go back up, while everyone else will subsist on govt handouts, and the country will continue to slide. Why am I so confident in this? Japan. They are worse than we are, and despite the fact that they have pretty much announced that they are printing their currency into oblivion, its still an accepted currency in trade. Japan may be a dead man walking, as we all know, but they have been wallowing in this debt for decades longer than we have, and things continue to be mostly normal for their citizens, stuff they need just costs a lot more.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:54 | 5292089 BigJim
BigJim's picture

I agree, they'll just print to cover the bills and kill lots of Arabs to remind them Who's The (currency) Daddy.

And keep hammering gold down, too, of course, for as long as they can keep meeting demands for phyzz.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 23:33 | 5293095 aka_ces
aka_ces's picture

Japan has passed most of its long sickness with most of rest of the developed world absent from its sick ward.  When everyone else checks in, the pace of degradation should hasten, for all.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:40 | 5292480 Karlus
Karlus's picture

The dollar will be fine. Its a dog, but its the dog with the least amount of perceived fleas.

 

Which would you rather hold, Comrade? Rubles or USDs?

 

Long whiskey

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:26 | 5291608 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Bullocks, my shoeshine guy has had several good tips lately.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 23:50 | 5293158 The9thDoctor
The9thDoctor's picture

My shoeshine boy doesn't even know what a stawk even is. Only thing he talks about is his fantasy football scores, so this bubble hasn't even peaked yet. lol.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 06:14 | 5293484 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

I would be careful of that shine boy, Bullocks went under in 1996. Maybe he meant Macy's?

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:11 | 5291610 Drummond
Drummond's picture

I thought the financial times was an orangy colour. That paper looks black and white.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:13 | 5292371 daveO
daveO's picture

Plus, the price was quoted in $, not pounds.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:12 | 5291617 DelusionalGrandeur
DelusionalGrandeur's picture

If you like your $1000 tea trays, you can keep your $1000 tea trays...

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:21 | 5291630 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Those $1000 wicker tea trays are only 99 cents in Bangladesh but they have not printed trillions or manipulated their stock markets relentlessly higher.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:17 | 5291635 order66
order66's picture

Some of the PTA Moms around here just started a day trading club.

Risk on.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:25 | 5291665 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

U mean single moms ( Divorce rate climbing) who are looking for Prince Charming and the eternal richness. Ha Ha must laugh at the crap

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:10 | 5291815 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Quit it!

You're killing me!

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:21 | 5291849 disgruntled hou...
disgruntled housewife's picture

Married or single we all just want to have fun.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:50 | 5291916 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Sugar daddy.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:19 | 5291641 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Shut up Bitchezz. Amerikans only need good news , all is well. Go spend and enjoy life . Buy Big Homes, buy the latest phones and enjoy the big screen tv bitxhezz. Debt is good , take on more debt

SARC

 

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:23 | 5291859 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Sarc? Why good sir, these are the marching orders of this nation.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:19 | 5291644 Truther
Truther's picture

One thing for sure... Hate to be a french fry at this point, nor an italian spaghetti, or a spanish guitar.

 

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:26 | 5291670 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Should move to Texas then , lots of Burrito joints to lose ones identity 

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:22 | 5291657 besnook
besnook's picture

bullish! inflation is a great sign for the prospect of more all time highs! what we need is a 3 dollar menu instead of a one dollar menu.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:30 | 5291671 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

The evidence of the imminence of the next financial apocalyse is that institutional investors are falling all over themselves to buy 3% debt so that they can, through a series of complex derivatives and syndications, resell it at a lower effective yield (profit) to other institution investors which are, in turn, falling all over themselves so they can, through a series of complex derivatives and syndications, further resell it at yet a further lower effective yield (profit) to other institutional investors which are.....  [Repeat until......????]

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:28 | 5291677 Zorrohodge
Zorrohodge's picture

And Bitcoin drops below $300

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:31 | 5291687 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

I might rather have the $1,000 tea tray......

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:00 | 5291935 Exponere Mendaces
Exponere Mendaces's picture

Just like it dropped to double-digits before later rallying to $1,000 plus. But hey, lets not let a little thing called "facts" ruin your gleeful post.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:28 | 5291680 gimli
gimli's picture

It used to be tea leaves, but with hidden inflation we have moved to trays.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:48 | 5291695 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Sterling tea trays.  Bullish for Silver !

Wicker, not so much.

 

I was getting my normal Sunday Silver hanker going but was then deflated.

Wicker...is that like Two Lips ?

Yellen caused a Wicker Mania ?

Wicker Bubbles, Wicked.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:33 | 5291691 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Oh sure, blame the TeaTray Party.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:32 | 5291692 tradingdaze
tradingdaze's picture

tea for two

and two for tea

just me for you

and you for me

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:35 | 5291701 tradingdaze
tradingdaze's picture

tea for Texas

tea for Tenessee

tea for Thelma

that gal made a fool out of me

 

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:39 | 5291713 kevinearick
kevinearick's picture

Queen & Physician

The empire is run by barren, bitter old women, and their eunuchs, those with the most to gain in an artificial world separating humanity from nature, who employ their daughters as damsels in distress, to imprison as many males as possible to the cause. Family Law is a prison without physical walls, doing you the favor of distilling them all into a closed VAT, and you out.

The physician empiricists see the derivative and assume it is life, stroking their own egos, keeping it alive by replicating bits and pieces of nature to serve as the necessary drugs, for which they are paid in other people’s debt, and increasingly their own.

GDP simply measures the human activity employed in the process of growing the prison, for which the old woman’s bank is more than happy to print the money, backed by whatever mythology the majority will accept, issuing it to the critters willingly trading life for an ever-growing mortgage on the future, to ensure the status quo, until its inevitable collapse.

Only the brain-dead zombies failed to notice that the empire was strangling natural male employment with conservation easements and replacing it with compliance make-work in the City, shipping natural resources to the global cities for ever-growing control over so-collapsing local communities, expecting nature to replenish itself indefinitely, for infinite rounds of the same.

What those kids hiding in the basement fail to recognize is that there is always another bitter, barren old woman and her physician waiting to take over for the last, to employ the same puppets to the same end, growing the gatekeepers, creating war and protesting war, as an economy, to expunge non-compliance.

The market share of government and its debt is no accident, republican and democrat alike. Whether it’s a virus, a volcano or a vacuum of labor that wipes them all out is of no concern to labor, which has much better things to do than babysit the old woman’s puppets.

In and of itself, the old woman’s economy can only provide inelastic , downward mobility, lost purchasing power hidden by inflation, critters competing for ever-shrinking tiles on a path of diminishing return. Now, when it’s far too late, the critters find out that Social Security and Medicare are leaving them subject to the Law of the Street, like all government promises, subject to the whim of gatekeepers, so they go back to work, to extend the status quo, locking their own children out of gainful employment, surprise.

And we watch, as the upper middle class, bred for the purpose, finds itself exposed, to its own stupidity. Putin is simply the first, out of the box, hoping to escape the imploding gravity. It is the beginning and the end that you care about, the circuit from and to nature. What the critters do with what they steal is beyond your control, and, in any case, they only destroy themselves, so long as you ignore the damsel in distress, the artificial emergencies the State creates for the purpose, of your internment.

Funny, the critters want to tell me when to wake up and when to sleep, when to go to the bathroom and when to eat, what I should do for a living and who I should support, while they try to convince themselves that I am the one with the problem, when the empire has nothing I want. I appear to be alone, but am not, and never fail to surprise the gatekeepers, who always expect a different outcome.

No one can keep up with 20% rent inflation, not even the Queen, not with all her gatekeepers, and not with all her Ph.D.s, or even an organization of Ph.D. gatekeepers. Pay that City Manager just as much as you want, to breed out freedom, with government grants. An animal in a box destroys itself every time, and being last to lose is no conciliation.

Freedom is a matter of perspective. Develop your own and the empire, which replaces real demand with artificial demand, to supply its supply-side economy, disappears. My great sin was training young women to act accordingly, with a university built for the purpose, of which the Internet is a distant derivative, in the past.

Keep trying to fix those planes, trains and automobiles without labor, expecting something other than a virus, that cannot get out of its own way, consuming everything, including itself. When I walk into that building, you can answer my questions, get out of the way, and pay the bill, or you can have an elevator that goes up, down and changes speed at the same time, before it falls, just like the rest of the new world order, same as the old world order. The choice is yours.

Empires and everything in them are contraptions, trapping their own designers. Consult the Founding Fathers, physician empiricists, all you like. If Galileo was an empiricist, the world would still be flat and the Church of Time would still be molesting boys ensuring more of the same.

Demanding that I employ an office full of compliance officers, and seek majority vote before beginning the work, is not the answer, unless you want more of the same.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:45 | 5291738 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

Thanks.  Couldn't have said it any better.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:52 | 5291760 new game
new game's picture

nicely articulated, wish i could write and think at your level-thanks for your contribution!

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:23 | 5292406 daveO
daveO's picture

By my count, Putin is the 3rd. Saddam tried and died. So did Moamar. Hopefully, Putin won't meet the same fate.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:24 | 5292417 DelusionalGrandeur
DelusionalGrandeur's picture

Phenomenal comment!

 

Seems like you found the queen cunt and her physician to score a couple down votes.

 

At any rate please keep up the contributions...

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 01:25 | 5293304 Zero-risk bias
Zero-risk bias's picture

I am surprised to read such a comprehensive roundup of events. Uptick.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:44 | 5291735 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Hide on the promenade etch a postcard

How I dearly wish I was not here

In the seaside town that they forgot to bomb

Come come come nuclear bomb........

 

Everyday is like Sunday

Win yourself a cheap tray

Share some greased tea with me

Everyday is silent and gray

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 16:56 | 5291775 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I've been getting old waiting. All the financial rags have become gossip. Everything is a FRAUD. Reality has become a superstition. Bring on the collapse so we can all feel alive again. M'Fers.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:41 | 5291900 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

You may have $1000 tea trays but I can make the scones and crumpets that go on them.

Would you like some marmalade to go with your Post Apocalypse scone?

Seriously though, you wouldn't believe how delicious my invented Triple Sec glazed pineapple giant muffins are that I just made. I just might be the Heisenberg of muffins.

Next up on the drawing board are some kind of blueberry pecan coconut deal but I can't decide whether the coconut goes in, on or both. It's hard to beat the old standby cinnamon brown sugar crumble on a fat, moist blueberry muffin but I'm up for the challenge.

When the cannoli forms and pastry bag/ tips come next week it'll be all over. They can bring on world-wide monetary collapse and toss in an Ebola pandemic to boot and I won't give a shit if I have a fresh made lemon-Ricotta cheese stuffed cannoli in my face.

Now I have to go shave a few pounds with the meat-slicer off of a hefty sirloin tip roast I got for dirt cheap to make some Philly cheese-steak sandwiches I've been craving. Plenty of sauteed onions, peppers and mushrooms for veggies because you have to eat healthy foods. Don't forget the provolone. That'll go nice on the sub-rolls I made from Italian slack dough that makes the airy light bread with the big holes in it and a very thin crisp crust. Eat some now and freeze the rest for later. 

You may laugh now but with any luck you'll have me as the cook at FEMA Camp # 7.

With some dry vermouth I'll have you coming back for seconds for that Shit on a shingle.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:50 | 5291917 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

That's all well and good. But how do you do with groundhog? I'll show you a few culinary tricks when we get to Camp #7.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:57 | 5292048 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Ground chuck I can do.

I think woodchuck might need a vigorous brine and a heavy hand on the spice rack.

Maybe alternate the sharp savory flavor on a kebab with roast onion and peppers with tomato while stretching that lil sucker out for a crowd.

Nothing fancy, just some husk roasted corn in the fire to go with him because he'll be a true blue American woodchuck.

Then we can sing campfire songs while we wait for the s'mores to melt.

It'll be fun.

 

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:55 | 5292534 Conax
Conax's picture

Trim off all the yellow fat nodules, then into the brine.  After the briney soak, cut up and make a pot of Texas red out of him.

Oh. never eat them in the spring.  They do something nasty all winter.  Wait til July or later.

 

nom nom nom nom  <not really, but it ain't too bad>

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 19:11 | 5292153 short screwed
short screwed's picture

Dry vermouth will be tough to come by in the FEMA camps. You might want to plan on concocting something with a ration of Victory Gin.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 19:12 | 5292155 short screwed
short screwed's picture

Dry vermouth will be tough to come by in the FEMA camps. You might want to plan on concocting something with a ration of Victory Gin.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:34 | 5292457 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

You're right.

Good fermentation stock may be hard to come by. I'm sure I could wring a few sugars out of garbage to ferment into ethyl alcohol.

That would be as dry as a popcorn fart.

The Vermouth part would be tricky.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:43 | 5291904 Peanut Butter E...
Peanut Butter Engineer's picture

That guy must be one of us!

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:46 | 5291907 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

After giving a guy (well educated) my pro-gold spiel he asks: 'what do you think of a 60/40 stock bond mutual fund?' ...I'm still screaming...

The US is full of good smart people who believe that the economy is getting better, gold is down because no one wants it and soon we will be out of 'this rut'. Most people just don't have the level of interest to really see what is happening. No one who doesn't read ZH has heard of (unless CNN made fun of them) Schiff, Faber, Rogers, or any mainstream contrarian. The media has marginalized all non-booster thought. Anyone who has ideas about problems in the economy is chastised rather than challenged. Anyone not in compliance with their dogma is an enemy not just someone with different ideas.

Folks here understand this. Almost no one else does. They don't know and they don't know why they should care...cuz...what's the worse that can happen.?

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:28 | 5292018 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Most people don't know how a nuclear power plant works either. They just want to flip the switch on and see light.

It doesn't mean they are stupid, it just means they are conditioned to seeing light when they hit the switch.

Only a certain curious few want to go down in the bowels of the plant and see how it is functioning because they know that something is wrong. Once they see the duct tape, baling wire and bubble gum holding back the deadly radiation, they sound the alarm.

But for most people, the lights still come on. A little dimmer than before. Maybe a lot dimmer for a few, but theres still light and those who warn that the plant is ready to blow up are just malcontent alarmists.

The Ministry of Lighting has many people assuring us that there may be a glitch here and there but the plant is just fine and if we all kickin some more money for improvements it will be even better.

The only people who care about Fukushima are the people who once lived there and a few Tepco and Govt. people that know the truth. And they ain't saying shit about it.

Most people are reading about some gay athelete and the one who slugged his wife.

Nuclear physics is complicated and boring and nobody cares about it.

 

Until the light go out.

And stay out.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 19:13 | 5292164 Buster Cherry
Buster Cherry's picture

And a typhoon is stirring all those radioisotopes to blow our way.

 

Didn't see Dianne Sawyer (fucking dizzy cunt in need of an Everclear douche) saying much about that shit huh?

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:10 | 5292357 Wild tree
Wild tree's picture

SH,

Love your rendention on what you can bring to the party. Fukushima is the game changer. 1/3 of the sea must die, and I think we are well on our way.

 

May you find peace, and the road rise up to meet you.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 21:46 | 5292691 atthelake
atthelake's picture

People do not care about other people. It is up to you, and no one else, to save you and yours. I suggest you start, now.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:31 | 5292030 Shirley Swanepoel
Shirley Swanepoel's picture

I don't know much about economics but I do know that an empty stomach very quickly makes people sit up and take notice. They think they are ok now but when the crash comes and a loaf of bread increases by a 1USD or whatever the currency will be called by then, they will be aroused from their slumber and find themselves in those luxerious Fema cells. And they deserve it.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 17:59 | 5291929 Salah
Salah's picture

Thompson Cigar in Tampa is sure trying like Hell to unload ALL their inventory.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 18:20 | 5291994 Village-idiot
Village-idiot's picture

The rich are buying $1,000 tea trays along with anything else they can spend their currency on.

They're trying to get rid of it before everyone else realizes it's already worthless.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 09:36 | 5293878 effendi
effendi's picture

Dumping soon to be worthless fiat for assets makes sense> But if they are smart enough to see that shit coming then wouldn't they also be smart enough to get a sterling silver tea tray and not some $1,000 wicker tea tray? Once the fiat collapses there will be a market for sterling, for wicker there will be neither stackers nor other rich looking to buy and it will be nearly worthless kindling.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 22:48 | 5297396 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

If society can overcome the stigma of serving coffee on a Tea Tray, then these might go through the roof !!! Starbucks could be selling these for $1002 ! or for free for a 1 pound bag.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 19:03 | 5292122 OpTwoMistic
OpTwoMistic's picture

Normalcy bias until the margin calls.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 19:08 | 5292139 razorthin
razorthin's picture

The only thing I know for certain is that the $US is ridiculously stretched and metals and miners are correspondlingly cheap.  Position accordingly.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 19:25 | 5292206 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

USD has been undervalued for too long.  13 weeks up in a row is only the beginning.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 19:31 | 5292225 razorthin
razorthin's picture

I see a violent return to 2008 levels, yes - because the next leg of the crisis is imminent.  I am just saying that a snap-back $retreat is more imminent.

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 20:04 | 5292310 bid the soldier...
bid the soldiers shoot's picture

For all the Mad Hatters here

(& the zh tea cup runneth over with plenty of them)

 

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea tray in the sky.

 

Originally, it was Jumbo bat, but that name is already taken

Sun, 10/05/2014 - 23:06 | 5293001 AdvancingTime
AdvancingTime's picture

 Both people and governments have lived beyond their means by taking on debt they cannot repay. Over the last several decades we have created entitlement societies built on the back of the industrial revolution, technological advantages, capital accumulated from the colonial era, and the domination of global finances. Promises were made on the assumption that the advantages we enjoyed would continue.

Ever greater prosperity and entitlements were to be sustained through debt financed consumption growth. In that eerie fantasy world, debt fueled consumption was to be the catalyst to bring about evermore growth. Now reality has begun to come into focus and it is becoming apparent that this is unsustainable. The entitlements and promises that have piled up have become overwhelming. More on why this system will fail in the article below.

http://brucewilds.blogspot.com/2014/08/modern-monetary-theory-is-wrong-d...

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 22:38 | 5297362 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

A $4000 toothbrush may sit nicely upon a $1000 wicker toothbrush holder ?

Oral hygiene just got a major upgrade with a $4,000 luxury toothbrush, reports Gizmodo.

http://www.cnbc.com/id/102063719

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