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It's Official: Hewlett-Packard To Split In Two, Fire Another 5,000; Goldman Notches Second Spin-Off Success After PayPal

Tyler Durden's picture




 

While the WSJ already broke the news yesterday that Hewlett Packard would split in two companies, and as such today's "shocking" announcement will hardly have the impact of the just as "surprising" split of PayPal which came on the last day of September, what is probably most notable - in addition to the news that HPQ will fire another 5,000 workers, bringing the total to 55,000 - is that just as in the case of PayPal, so for Hewlett-Packard, the financial advisor, i.e., the company which pitched the spin off to executives, was none other than Goldman. One wonders where else Goldman is advising on "spin offs" to take advantage of the bubbly stock market valuations. As a reminder, HPQ is only doing this deal and accessing the public markets now because several years ago it tried to do exactly the same thing in a private transaction with a strategic or financial buyer, and found no bids. Luckily, now we have central bank froth and pervasive risk euphoria to help management bail out at the highest possible stock price.

From the Press Release:

HP to Separate Into Two New Industry-Leading Public Companies

  • Hewlett-Packard Enterprise Will Define the Next Generation of Technology Infrastructure, Software and Services for the New Style of IT HP Inc.
  • Will Be the Leading Personal Systems and Printing Company Delivering Innovations That Will Empower People to Create, Interact and Inspire Like Never Before
  • Strategic Step Provides Each New Company With the Focus, Financial Resources and Flexibility to Adapt Quickly to Market and Customer Dynamics While Generating Long-Term Value for Shareholders

Highlights:

  • Hewlett-Packard Enterprise will build upon HP's leading position in servers, storage, networking, converged systems, services and software as well as its OpenStack Helion cloud platform
  • Meg Whitman to be President and Chief Executive Officer of Hewlett-Packard Enterprise; Pat Russo to be Chairman of Hewlett-Packard Enterprise Board
  • HP Inc. will be the leading personal systems and printing company with a strong roadmap into the most exciting new technologies like 3D printing and new computing experiences
  • Dion Weisler to be President and Chief Executive Officer of HP Inc.; Meg Whitman to be Chairman of the HP Inc. Board
  • Company reiterates fiscal 2014 non-GAAP diluted net earnings per share (EPS) outlook of $3.70 to $3.74 and updates GAAP diluted net EPS outlook to $2.60 to $2.64
  • Company issues fiscal 2015 non-GAAP diluted net EPS outlook of $3.83 to $4.03 and GAAP diluted net EPS outlook of $3.23 to $3.43
  • HP (NYSE: HPQ) today announced plans to separate into two new publicly traded Fortune 50 companies: one comprising HP's market-leading enterprise technology infrastructure, software and services businesses, which will do business as Hewlett-Packard Enterprise, and one that will comprise HP's market-leading personal systems and printing businesses, which will do business as HP Inc. and retain the current logo. Immediately following the transaction, which is expected to be completed by the end of fiscal 2015, HP shareholders will own shares of both Hewlett-Packard Enterprise and HP Inc. The transaction is intended to be tax-free to HP's shareholders for federal income tax purposes.

Today's announcement comes as HP approaches the fourth year of its five-year turnaround plan. Over this time, the company has executed successfully against its turnaround objectives, keeping customers and partners at the forefront. HP has reignited its innovation pipeline, strengthened its go-to-market capabilities, rebuilt its balance sheet, and inspired its workforce and management teams. The company is now positioned to accelerate performance, drive sustained growth and demonstrate clear industry leadership in key areas.

"Our work during the past three years has significantly strengthened our core businesses to the point where we can more aggressively go after the opportunities created by a rapidly changing market," said Meg Whitman, Chairman, President and Chief Executive Officer of HP. "The decision to separate into two market-leading companies underscores our commitment to the turnaround plan. It will provide each new company with the independence, focus, financial resources, and flexibility they need to adapt quickly to market and customer dynamics, while generating long-term value for shareholders. In short, by transitioning now from one HP to two new companies, created out of our successful turnaround efforts, we will be in an even better position to compete in the market, support our customers and partners, and deliver maximum value to our shareholders."

Both companies will be well capitalized and expect to have investment grade credit ratings and capital structures optimized to reflect their distinct growth opportunities and cash flow profiles. The separation into independent publicly traded companies will provide each company with its own, more focused equity currency, and investors with the opportunity to invest in two companies with compelling and unique financial profiles well suited to their respective businesses.

Management Structure

Meg Whitman, President and Chief Executive Officer of HP, and Cathie Lesjak, Chief Financial Officer of HP, will hold these positions with Hewlett-Packard Enterprise. When the separation is complete, Whitman will also serve on the Board of Directors of Hewlett-Packard Enterprise, and Pat Russo will move from Lead Independent Director of HP to Chairman of Hewlett-Packard Enterprise.

Dion Weisler, Executive Vice President of HP's Printing and Personal Systems business, will lead HP Inc. as President and Chief Executive Officer. Whitman will serve as non-executive Chairman of HP Inc.'s Board of Directors.

Hewlett-Packard Enterprise

Hewlett-Packard Enterprise will have a unique portfolio and strong multi-year innovation roadmap across technology infrastructure, software and services to allow customers to take full advantage of the opportunities presented by cloud, big data, security and mobility in the New Style of IT. By leveraging its HP Financial Services capability, the company will be well positioned to create unique technology deployment models for customers and partners based on their specific business needs. Additionally, the company intends for HP Financial Services to continue to provide financing and business model innovation for customers and partners of HP Inc.

Customers will have the same unmatched choice of how to deploy and consume technology, and with a simpler, more nimble partner. The separation will provide additional resources, and a reduction of debt at the operating company level, to support investments across key areas of the portfolio. The separation will also allow for greater flexibility in completing the turnaround of Enterprise Services and strengthening the company's go-to-market capabilities.

"Over the past three years, we have reignited our innovation engine with breakthrough offerings for the enterprise like Apollo, Gen 9 and Moonshot servers, our 3PAR storage platform, our HP OneView management platform, our HP Helion Cloud and a host of software and services offerings in security, analytics and application transformation," continued Whitman. "Hewlett-Packard Enterprise will accelerate innovation across key next-generation areas of the portfolio."

HP Inc.

HP Inc. will be a proven leader in the personal systems and printing markets with exciting new technologies on the horizon. The new company's strong profitability and free cash flow will enable investments in growth markets such as 3-D printing and new computing experiences. At the same time, HP Inc. will continue to execute against a well-defined and established strategic plan, ensuring continuity for customers and consistent value to shareholders.

"Since assuming responsibility for the Printing and Personal Systems Group, Dion and his leadership team have done an excellent job of building our relationships with customers and channel partners, segmenting the market and driving product innovation," added Whitman. "The creation of HP Inc. will only accelerate the progress the team has made."

"This is a defining moment in our industry as customers are looking for innovation to enable workforces that are more mobile, connected and productive while at the same time allowing a seamless experience across work and play," said Weisler. "As the market leader in printing and personal systems, an independent HP Inc. will be extremely well positioned to deliver that innovation across our traditional markets as well as extend our leadership into new markets like 3-D printing and new computing experiences -- inventing technology that empowers people to create, interact and inspire like never before."

Transaction Details

The separation transaction is intended to be tax-free to HP shareholders for federal income tax purposes. The transaction is currently targeted to be completed by the end of fiscal 2015, subject to certain conditions, including, among others, obtaining final approval from the HP Board of Directors, receipt of a favorable opinion and/or rulings with respect to the tax-free nature of the transaction for federal income tax purposes and the effectiveness of a Form 10 filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Goldman Sachs & Co. is serving as financial advisor and Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen and Katz is serving as legal advisor to HP.

 

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Mon, 10/06/2014 - 06:47 | 5293515 unrulian
unrulian's picture

awful laptop division and shitty printer division?

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:12 | 5293541 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Time to move to Canada.

 

Go north....to freedom.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:28 | 5293575 negative rates
negative rates's picture

And cold!

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:47 | 5293752 unrulian
unrulian's picture

and water

Tue, 10/07/2014 - 04:07 | 5297839 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Water is over rated. 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:40 | 5293723 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

Don't get to comfortable, looks like you got JUstin Trudeau warming up on deck. If he's anything like his father, you're screwed.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 14:41 | 5295349 unrulian
unrulian's picture

worse

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:37 | 5293598 junction
junction's picture

How to describe this split?  The sound of two garbage trucks uncolliding?  HP never recovered from CEO Carly Fiorina, an incompetent good only at laying workers off and slashing R&D spending.  Whitman's role model.  Down the line, when the Fed runs out of credit to buoy up the stock of garbage companies, expect the stock prices of the combined new companies to be less than the standalone HP now.  By then, Whitman will be out at HP and running for a Califirnia U.S. Senate seat, funding the campaign with her newfound HP riches.  

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:44 | 5293615 redd_green
redd_green's picture

Fiorina should be pelted with rocks and garbage for what she and her crooks did to that great company.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:47 | 5293748 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

You're being too kind.  .

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 11:07 | 5294326 tbone654
tbone654's picture

She got mad at the legacy HP side and got in bed with Compaq...  In essence buying HP with our own money, then puting Compaq in charge, because everyone that came out of the "clean room" was Compaq, with very few exceptions...  Even published a culture roadmap spreadsheet depicting Blue as laid back and easy to overthrow, and Red (And Digital) as battle tough, hungry and a sure bet to win...

All because no one would stand up and cheer her at her town hall meetings...  No one cheered because she took away free soda pop and beer on fridays in the office...  What did she expect? 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 09:49 | 5293926 sushi
sushi's picture

Plus 100+ on fiorina. I had to listen to her internal "exhort the troops" speeches when she clearly had little understanding of the product or the company.

Her sole accomplishment (?) was in the purchase of COMPAQ as HP's home grown server line were expensive miserable market failures.

After the split you end up with not a good bank and a bad bank but a bad HP and a worse HP. The worse HP will hold the printer division. Printer ink, on a per oz basis, is higher priced than perfume but no body bothers to print anymore when you can Snapchat to the web or FB your selfies. The desktop mkt is also in decline as the sweet spot is in mobile.

 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 10:22 | 5294068 Semi-employed W...
Semi-employed White Guy's picture

Didn't use to be that way, before they hired an affirmative action CEO.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 11:13 | 5294359 tbone654
tbone654's picture

now... so many are coasting and what remains are "stock watcher" managers and teams of really bad engineers, because MOST of the good ones left or were WFR'd because they were promoted, only to then be the low man on the totem pole on their new team...  Which made you WFR bait (Work Force Reduction)...  Which leads to teams of clicque's ...  Ack!!  (but no Ack back - Think UDP)

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 06:50 | 5293520 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

So one shitty company equals two great companies? Above my Goldman financial sorcery pay grade.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:15 | 5293547 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Yeah, see, you're overlooking the part where they fire another 5000 people.  That's what will make it two great companies.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 11:17 | 5294382 tbone654
tbone654's picture

idea - Lets merge HP and Compaq, and reduce headcount at duplicate positions...  Then we can buy a bunch of smaller companies, and again reduce headcount from duplicate positions...  Then someday split businesses apart, again reducing headcount...  Then...

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 10:29 | 5294101 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Tie two stones together expecting them to float

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 06:52 | 5293521 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

DEMISE OF THE ICONS

chapter 3 in the fall of a empire

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:02 | 5293532 Escrava Isaura
Escrava Isaura's picture

Sudden Debt,

Which reference 'book' are you using, by your statement, for the fall of the US Empire?

 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:17 | 5293549 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

The  Weather Underground Communist Manifesto?

 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:29 | 5293580 negative rates
negative rates's picture

We blame it on the climate change that's not happening.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:38 | 5293599 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Those assholes.....they promised us!

 

I want my money back.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 06:59 | 5293527 Not Goldman Sachs
Not Goldman Sachs's picture

OT, hey Tyler's, fuck the huge Prudential ads. Using a tablet means your articles already only occupy a thin column of print flanked by ad nonsense. Now fucking Prudential covers the whole page with the x button off screen. Are your words that meaningless? Time to think again or just another schill.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:08 | 5293537 blown income
blown income's picture

Same here I have a kindle fire and the pop up ads are taking the whole screen

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:16 | 5293548 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Perhaps you should ask for a refund.

 

May I recommend you try https://adblockplus.org/

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:24 | 5293567 Bioscale
Bioscale's picture

I don't think ZH decides about the ads' details. Usually there is a campaign running over the whole web for big advertisers.

Get you an adblock plugin for your browser and adapt the filters accordingly. I recommend AdBlock Edge (using firefox).

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:32 | 5293586 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

You gotta be one step ahead of the advertisers. Don't blame the Tylers, blame yourself for being technologically ignorant.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:02 | 5293530 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

So will the employees that are to be sacked be walking around holding Hewlett Plackards and demonstrating?

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 10:59 | 5294267 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

I hope they have their shovels ready. More devastation to the Middle Class.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:02 | 5293531 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

Hold on.  You can't have it both ways, unless you're bi-sexual.

ANY corporation that DIS-assembles, any country that has seceding states, ANY union that has been part of a consolidation during the last 50 years that chooses or is forced to disassociate is another step in the right direction, headed for either extinction, survival or success.

ANY of those outcomes is to be devoutly prayed for, wished for.

As should be clear by now, tens of millions of jobs have been eliminated because of consolidation.  The only entity that shows growth, that is centralized is Federal Government. And by the looks of the Secret Service debacles, it must be brightly  clear that Bureaucracies are the only beneficiary of centralization.  That or despotism.

WE should all ------as we did last week when Scotland decided to take the cowardly way out, proclaiming it could not even succeed with a near monpoly of North Sea grease---take note that DEPENDENCY is ultimately a killer of spirit, adventure and discovery, invention and the creative spark so badly missing from first world countries.

I celebrate the dissolution of EVERY juggernaut into smaller pieces. The United States today would have been a much more beningn country with far more effective leadership today if a dozen states had successfully seceded in 1861,  and Lincoln had been assasinated then instead of after he killed, maimed and ruined millions of people to force an unwanted marriage down our collective throats.

Divorce is not a problem it's a solution.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:10 | 5293538 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

I don't know if you are right, but well argued plus my up vote.

The problem with government though is that it does spin offs which become damaging. For example how many more contractors were in Iraq as opposed to government peronnel? Also the FED is a spin off.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:22 | 5293564 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

- Problem is the Marriage between government & Corporations with no seat at the table for Labor (we need 24 Million good paying Jobs)

- FED is a spinoff? Seems like a private corporation with stockholders formed by European bankers in order to promulgate a Cartel

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:13 | 5293542 Escrava Isaura
Escrava Isaura's picture

No divorce, yet!

 

My take on it? US will behavior a lot like Germany in the 1930's.

Government will become the main employer (supplier) because the private sector can’t.

Just not sure who will be the Jews (cut out of) the equation. Small business and towns that are heavily in minorities, maybe?

 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:23 | 5293559 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

My take on it? US will behavior a lot like Germany in the 1930's.

 

We're taking volunteers for the death camps....you in?

 

Death panels......death camps......same damn thing.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:28 | 5293572 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

US will behave a lot like Germany in the 1930's.

Yes, things are already too big, too many financial links, too much wealth created out of thin air, too much of the US Economy (& World Economy) depends on US Federal Spending and US Banker Money Creation.

Wall Street Money Printing, Looting Household & Looting Government & Looting US Corporation (US Corporate Assets).

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:32 | 5293585 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Don't forget wars, got to have plenty of wars.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:40 | 5293604 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

I love me some banker's wars......umm good!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfEBupAeo4

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:41 | 5293610 DocinPA
DocinPA's picture

Not gonna happen.  We are flat broke and the day of reckoning is almost here.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:55 | 5293632 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

Flat broke! Maybe in reality, but that isn't the world we live in. Peace Prize just dropped $100 million in bombs on the people that we gave $100 million in weapons last year.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 10:10 | 5294001 CrazyCatLady
CrazyCatLady's picture

I gave a greenie for the "peace prize" moniker. Gave me a chuckle

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:06 | 5293648 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

Just so you know, you are the minority to a Jew.   

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:28 | 5293553 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Comte d'herblay

I agree we have to break entities into smaller parts to make corruption much smaller when it happens.

We have to ignore the fearful calls that everything in the USA must be the "Biggest" in the world to keep our place as a supper power.

Anti-Trust was all about this.

Robber-barons are alive & Thrive in the USA... most obvious is any salary in excess of $2 Million Dollars. USA the home of "Classism".

Take money out of politics as a first step in breaking down corruption, nepotism (H.W. Bush, George W. Bush), Regulation Capture, Conflict of Interest, Wealth's Power over the Court System, Corporate Welfare, Financial Schemes, Tax Evasion Schemes, Shell Companies, Shadow Banking, Non-Standard Financial Instruments, Non-GAAP Accounting Rules, and Crony Financial Ratings.

Why should MIC Choose our wars and determine how much Federal Funding goes to MIC?

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:23 | 5293563 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Decentralization is the only way out of this mess. These giant corporations are a joke, incapable of innovation and just used as slush funds for the execs to pilfer as they outsource all production and IP to China, who then just steals it all and creates the alternative.

The first state to make a successful break from the plans for Global Gaza will see an influx of citizenry the world cannot imagine. I've even thought that one of the failed Euroland states such as Greece or Italy, or even Ireland could become a mega for freedom and innovation IF, and it's a big IF, they can throw off the yoke of the globalists.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:33 | 5293590 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

I read a little in a book Called "Failed States" the reasons why states fail.

- Wealth Extraction figures greatly in the Americas and Africa
- If household wealth is completely extracted majority will not be able to move unless they walk
- Mostly this shows that Banks & the banking System "pick the Winners (their employees & executives) and pick the Losers (Greece, Cyprus, Ireland)"

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:57 | 5293633 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

By corporate freedom you mean 0 taxes right?

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:06 | 5293646 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Not zero, just one big fat one at the register.

Tue, 10/07/2014 - 16:49 | 5300641 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

You ignorant troll.  Corporations pay NO TAXES!!  They pass on all their costs to the buyer of their products. And Taxes are a COST!

You are an example of the economic, numeric and accounting illiteracy that is a pandemic albatross around this country's neck.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:34 | 5293593 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

In HP's case there is a dependant wife who isn't working, she will soon be on the welfare roles.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:39 | 5293596 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

companies that are specialized are weaker in crisis  time than  those whom have the ability to have multiple activities at the same time.

 

well known fact.

 

splitting just lead to fail.

old fashion companies are way more stronger facing crisis.

Tue, 10/07/2014 - 16:46 | 5300631 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

There was nothing "Specialized" about Gulf Oil. NOTHING.  

Same for so many more in LBOS that only enriched the current executives while it fired millions of employees.  Look at AOL For jesus fucking Christ's sake!!  

And what Kozlowski did LBOing dozens of companies doing just fine on their own. 

You have no idea what you are talking about, in citing only weak sisters to make your argument.

You must work in the Consolidation industry.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:10 | 5293539 lester1
lester1's picture

HP is so far behind on 3D printing it would cost them a fortune to catch up. They would LOSE money.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:17 | 5293552 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Well, if they follow their usual course of action, they will buy some 3D company (or multiple ones) to put themeseves in a "leadership" postition, then decide to write the whole exercise off 18 months later.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:22 | 5293558 christiangustafson
christiangustafson's picture

Delivering Innovations That Will Empower People to Create, Interact and Inspire Like Never Before

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG

Let's try that old Google search again:

   "at * we are passionate about innovation"

18,300,000 results.

Please, God, if you are out there, hear my cry.  Bring on the great reset already, I beg of you.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:30 | 5293573 Bioscale
Bioscale's picture

Looks like a legacy of the CEO bitch Fiorina when HP got the INVENT keyword below its logo many years ago.

I found her speech from june 2001, a BIG load of bullshit.

http://www.hpinvent.com/hpinfo/execteam/speeches/fiorina/tiecon_01.html

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:34 | 5293594 negative rates
negative rates's picture

She needs a bit more time to mature, you know how fickle those teenage girls can be these days.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:42 | 5293607 JulianAD
JulianAD's picture

The only thing lamer than,

" at * we are passionate about innovation" is,

" it's our people that make * better".

Now we are going to fire 5,000 of them on recommendations of the squid.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:45 | 5293616 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

For these corps, innovation is just a code word for outsourcing, grabbing temporary profit increases and passing it out to the managers, fleecing the shareholders yet again.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 10:27 | 5294050 CrazyCatLady
CrazyCatLady's picture

Isnt it 55,000 workers getting the axe? 

Edit- my bad its 55,000 total since may of this year

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 11:25 | 5294417 tbone654
tbone654's picture

passionate about innovation or if you hear Operational Excellence...

Both mean the same...  "We don't have a plan"... 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:22 | 5293560 SMOOCHY SMOOCHY...
SMOOCHY SMOOCHY CARLO's picture

The real money is in the ink.  And the next gen printing will be in auto parts, gun parts and prosthetics. This is a celebration of limited duration. 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:22 | 5293561 firstdivision
Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:27 | 5293569 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Your grandkids are paying for it.....yuck it up bitch.

 

Better get some......soon!

 

Except for platinum.....I can't advise buying that.....it's really hard to sell.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:28 | 5293574 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Glad I could upset your day.  I've never seen anyone get so upset on a fire sale.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:34 | 5293591 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

The last time I bought in mass was silver at $5.00 an ounce over 10 years ago.....I don't remember seeing you there.

 

Have a nice day Amigo.....and good luck.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:32 | 5293588 Jano
Jano's picture

They are going to shrink, not only split.

Maybe they hope to sve al least one of them.

And innovation: mayle 15 years backwards, yes, but the last 15 years they switched the innovation off. A dinosaur, going on a path of long shrinking and agony.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:58 | 5293635 ZeroPoint
ZeroPoint's picture

They are well on their way to being liquidated.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:35 | 5293595 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

"Welcome to the 90's, Mr. Banks"

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:39 | 5293601 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

They claim they were innovating, but nobody noticed. The PC and printers are now a commodity, very tight margins. People don't want to pay a premium. Progress in both has been minimal the last ten years. Enterprise hardware? Prices have been plunging the last 5 years, and firms are making do rather than buying new. Storage costs have fallen off a cliff, and HP can't sell much anyway. HP is a company that once was, not a company that will be.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:52 | 5293628 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Same with Dell.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 09:14 | 5293828 RobbyV4
RobbyV4's picture

At least with Dell they are not trying to get you to pay a premium for the 'name'.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:55 | 5293776 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

" People don't want to pay a premium".   As the politicians and corporate 'heads' drive the US more and more into 3rd world status as far as jobs.... who the fuck needs printers or high end computers?  Where is the discretionary income to make such purchases supposed to come from? 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:52 | 5293627 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Sounds boring as hell.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 07:58 | 5293636 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

I've been here for 15 minutes.....and I haven't heard a damn thing about Kim Kardashian or Dancing with the Stars.

 

Can I get a refund?

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:02 | 5293640 Sirius Wonderblast
Sirius Wonderblast's picture

Come on, enough of you must have been around long enough to have seen this cycle go through the mill a few times before, surely?

First, the bankers spin that only by acquisitions can companies achieve the leading positions and economies of sclae necessary to succeed and to deliver sufficient return to investors. they dream up a few choice new buzzwords and jargon so idiot execs can feel clever trying to use them before the other idiot execs they know, and soon it catches on. Then the bankers, assisted by the lawyers, make obscene amounts on facilitating a swathe of takeovers.

Eventually, they've drunk the well dry. the failed bid by Pfizer for Astra Zeneca may have been a sign of this.

Problem? no problem! What companies needed was to be asset strippe...er, split, so that corporate bloat could be got rid of, and value realised for investors. Obviously. Happily, the bankers are able to assist, and merrily throw the how thing into reverse, and inso doinfg realise a great deal of proit for their own stockholders.

Keeps on happening, time and again. A few thousand lay-offs per victim won't bother GS and their ilk one little bit.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 09:15 | 5293834 RobbyV4
RobbyV4's picture

Nothing new under the sun!

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 14:05 | 5295166 Sirius Wonderblast
Sirius Wonderblast's picture

Quite. Just a different bunch of suckers who think they know better than the lost lot to fall for it.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:03 | 5293642 the_law
the_law's picture

How are your gold and silver positions zerohedgers? Oh you're just going in for more? 

Bahahahahahha

Lucky that you diversified into bitcoin this year

Bahahahahhaha

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:06 | 5293650 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Yeah....and I've got some canned air too.....wanna buy some?

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:23 | 5293681 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

so you're saying wealth insurance is cheaper because everything is fixed, huh the law?  

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:05 | 5293644 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

This is more appropriately called economic metastization

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:10 | 5293654 Martian Moon
Martian Moon's picture

Maybe for the best

Once great company, always enjoyed their products

When corrupt management strips company wealth for themselves leaving shareholders holding the vbag, there should be legal recourse -

Since morality no longer holds sway, and the basest of behaviour is now common throughout the land.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:13 | 5293660 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

How did HP go from being master of calculators like HP35 and HP41C and king of printers with 3P and 4P etc, to being an alsio ran having destroyed CompaQ and become an ink-business ?

It would have been much more logical for HP to merge its printer division with Kodak to build a full-imaging business than the crap it has.

It is going the way of RCA with Felix Rohatyn having delivered it to his bonus scheme every time a transaction crossed his desk

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:19 | 5293673 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

It's complicated.....but suffice to say they borrowed the Enron and Lehman playbook.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:36 | 5293712 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Management looked at the R&D budget and considered it all non-value overhead and then hired finance majors to work on accounting schemes to boost "growth".

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:18 | 5293670 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

MOAR GUROATH!!!!

 

MO POMO TODAY TOO. 

 

So markets up means that this is a GARATE IDEAR!!!

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:34 | 5293708 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

1. Their ad campaign: "Use the computers used at the IRS" probably wasn't a good idea.*

2. Well managed company but we just noticed we have 5,000 extra exployees working here aren't compatible traits.

3. Unless you need to play financial games, why can't HP just structure their internal organization into 2 seperate units?

 

*I completely made this up.  Does anyone know what brand of computer the IRS uses?

Tue, 10/07/2014 - 04:26 | 5297856 mkhs
mkhs's picture

TRS-80?

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:39 | 5293720 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

What a fucking shame. Most of you don't know the history of Packard Bell. I have been a long time customer. I automatically by HP products. Management has destroyed the legacy of this company. 

My first out of pocket purchased computer was a Packard Bell. Moved to Compaq, then Pallivan. Rock solid units. My core i7 is about 3ish years old. She is a bitch in disquise. 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 08:49 | 5293757 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

The cloud approach is going to kill off the company. There really is no storage cloud, all marketing bullshit. 

It's like many people in Florida who appear to have a big yacht off their backyard dock. Most are renting the dock space for revenue income. The cloud storage space is no different. 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 09:03 | 5293798 yogibear
yogibear's picture

What a desructive team groomed from AT&T, McGinn destryed Lucent and Fiorina destroyed HP.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 09:08 | 5293812 yogibear
yogibear's picture

HP will be a no-name company in a few years.

It's management always in crisis mode.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 09:11 | 5293818 Spungo
Spungo's picture

lol HP. What a joke of a company. Can't print black because the printer is running low on yellow ink.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 09:26 | 5293850 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

So true, I keep backup cartridges, they think we'll order a new set off the Web firmware suggestion site. Not going to happen. 

Lexmark was far more tainted in terms of user exploitation of firmware abuse. 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 09:12 | 5293819 RobbyV4
RobbyV4's picture

Only in the world of finance can you cut a turd in half and legally market it as not a turd.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 09:15 | 5293833 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Fiorina destroyed HP. It was down from there.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 09:36 | 5293880 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Still waiting for my OEM LJ cartridges to get here from some Amazon vendor.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 09:54 | 5293948 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

Slice crApple in 3. Easily worth a trillion that way.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 09:55 | 5293958 GoldenDonuts
GoldenDonuts's picture

HP used to make decient printers that lasted forever, worked without fail, and produced good prints.  The last HP printers and large scale plotters that we bought will be the last printers and large scale plotters that we buy from HP. 

If HP wants to do well as a corp. then perhaps they should stop making crappy printers and return to making good printers.  That would probably be better than a bunch of MBAs figuring out how to get better bonuses by cutting the company in half and offshoring even more jobs.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 10:16 | 5294042 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Yep.

Someone else will beat their ass.

MBA: the assassins of real value.

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 10:19 | 5294058 venturen
venturen's picture

got rid of my last HP....terrible product, AWFUL SOFTWARE

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 10:19 | 5294051 venturen
venturen's picture

Who listens to the crooked bankers advising merger, merger, merger, spin, spin, spin....losing money the entire way. What fools. 

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 10:29 | 5294108 Spungo
Spungo's picture

PC LOAD LETTER. What the fuck does that mean?

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 10:35 | 5294146 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

HighPerformance ....buggy-whips....

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 10:54 | 5294244 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

An Evil Force has taken over the Planet and made too many people think only of Profit, or of Profit First.

Could it be........Satan?

Tue, 10/07/2014 - 01:28 | 5297742 onmail
onmail's picture

HomObbama permanently stoned

Mon, 10/06/2014 - 12:03 | 5294591 fishwharf
fishwharf's picture

I tossed the last HP printer I'll ever own in the trash a few years ago, and I've been boycotting HP ever since Meg Whitman ran for Governor of California.  Her ugly face was everywhere on the TV & newspapers, and I don't want to give her another dime in case she decides to run for office again.

BTW: I own three Canon printers, including a high end large format photo printer, and I'm very satisfied with them.

Tue, 10/07/2014 - 01:26 | 5297741 onmail
onmail's picture

Another PC unit going to China

eventually.

Like Lenovo

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