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Day Is Done: Tornado Warning Issued For Washington, D.C.

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Update: NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE CANCELS TORNADO WARNING ISSUED FOR WASHINGTON D.C., SAYS STORM WEAKENED

* * *

What could top a bizarro day like today? Why, a tornado touching down by the White House of course.

From NBC:

A tornado warning has been issued for the D.C. area through 1 p.m. Wednesday.

 

The warning comes on a day of heavy rain for much of the D.C. area., which began battering Northern Virginia early Wednesday and has raced north, arriving inside the Beltway at midday.

 

A flood watch began at 10 a.m. Wednesday, and will remain in effect into the evening hours for portions of Maryland, D.C. and Northern Virginia.  More than an inch of rain had already fallen in some areas by midday.

 

Storm Team 4 Meteorologist Chuck Bell is warning drivers to stay off the roads when the rain is heaviest.

 

A tornado warning issued for Warren, Frederick and Clarke counties in Virginia expired at 6:45 a.m.

Coming soon: the Ebolanado. In other news, no golf this afternoon.

 

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Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:47 | 5334864 knicks3005
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BURN BABY BUUUUUUUUURRRNNNNNN!!!!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:50 | 5334895 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Ebola-nado!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:57 | 5334966 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Aww damn .... it didn't go off.   

Fuck DC and everyone in it.   Modern day Sodom

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:00 | 5335002 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Good luck everyone, IT has clearly begun.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:02 | 5335011 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

This day just got a helluva lot better.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:17 | 5335149 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

dear god please take Schumer, and Feinstein, and Boxer, and Reid, and McConnell, and all neo-con POS rethugs... thanks

that is all

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:31 | 5335293 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

Uh-huh...

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:05 | 5335619 ClowardPiven2016
ClowardPiven2016's picture

and especially Pelosi

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 16:41 | 5337003 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

Ya can just picture Pelosi taken up in the air by a tornado . . just like that other Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:18 | 5335158 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please,!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:39 | 5336508 Nick Jihad
Nick Jihad's picture

Please God, don't forget the toads and locusts!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:39 | 5336518 Nick Jihad
Nick Jihad's picture

Could I get that with a plague of locusts on the side? Thanks!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:08 | 5335072 Der Wille Zur Macht
Der Wille Zur Macht's picture

I live there.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:11 | 5335101 centerline
centerline's picture

My condolences.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:15 | 5335131 Buster Cherry
Buster Cherry's picture

No ones making you

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:23 | 5335150 Der Wille Zur Macht
Der Wille Zur Macht's picture

Aside from the large government presence and outrageous real-estate prices (redundant, I know), it's a pretty great place to live. Lots of interesting places, good schools, lots of delicious restaurants, and plenty of pristine nature/wildlife nearby. I suggest everybody come visit, especially if you're a history buff.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:55 | 5335532 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

I thought a lot of the architecture was pretty vulgar tbh, like the statues in the station that can't decide if they're greek or roman, and those horses on the bridge.  Everything looks all clean around the govt buildings, but seems to be surrounded by a ring of decay and begging mexican kids.  Good restaurants, but I found the place was dead after about 10pm at the weekend.  Guess everyone lives over in Arlington these days.  Virginia forests were stunning though.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:17 | 5336241 Der Wille Zur Macht
Der Wille Zur Macht's picture

A few things:

(1) The architecture is mostly classical in style, which may not suite your tastes.

(2) There are barely any Mexicans in D.C. Lots of black folks.

(3) Definitely not "dead" after 10pm. There is a vibrant nightlife in all four of its quadrants and especially the NW.

(4) Population of Alexandria and D.C. have more-or-less stayed "in step".

(5) You're correct about the forests. Virginia, W. Virginia, and Maryland and anything near the Appalachians is gorgeous.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 16:44 | 5337037 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

'Architecture' that is a combination of Masonic symbolism and glorification/worship of government egomaniacs

What an abomination

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 18:42 | 5337768 Der Wille Zur Macht
Der Wille Zur Macht's picture

Idiot.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 03:37 | 5340056 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

Nice come back.  Quite clever [roll eyes]

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 03:39 | 5340059 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

"Aside from the large government presence and outrageous real-estate prices (redundant, I know), it's a pretty great place to live. Lots of interesting places, good schools, lots of delicious restaurants, and plenty of pristine nature/wildlife nearby. I suggest everybody come visit, especially if you're a history buff."

 

They likely said the same thing of Berlin in 1936.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:42 | 5335403 pot_and_kettle
pot_and_kettle's picture

Sodom would look at DC and cringe

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:57 | 5334972 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Aww damn .... it didn't go off.   

Fuck DC and everyone in it.   Modern day Sodom

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:49 | 5335468 KidHorn
KidHorn's picture

Don't blame the people who live in DC for the politicians. None of them live in DC (Obama and Biden being the exception) and the people of the region didn't elect them.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:56 | 5335528 ClowardPiven2016
ClowardPiven2016's picture

With three of the five wealthiest counties in the US bordering DC (the "best and the brightest" leaching off of the taxpayer and deficit spending)...don't look for any sympathy from me.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:51 | 5334915 max2205
max2205's picture

Moar free days off for gubermint slaves

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:05 | 5335048 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

pool's closed

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:04 | 5336195 markpower49
markpower49's picture

Our prayer: Dear Lord, please level this center of evil and infect any survivors with Ebola. Amen.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:47 | 5334865 pods
pods's picture

Krugman closes the blinds.

pods

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:03 | 5335020 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

After opening the window by breaking it.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:49 | 5334869 knicks3005
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BURN BABY BUUUUUUUUURRRNNNNNN!!!!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:48 | 5334871 X.inf.capt
X.inf.capt's picture

this gets better and better

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:53 | 5334929 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

First the big scare headline; then; "the storm has weakened". 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:49 | 5334888 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Bring on the locust swarms.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:59 | 5334988 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Fuck that shit.  I've seen two of those since Sept. 2013.  The first one was in the middle of the VLA, and the second one showed up on Abq's weather radar there were so many.  The little cocksuckers ate 3/4 of my green chile seedlings this spring. 

 

Now, if you're talking about a more voracious kind descending on DC, bring it on, BITCHEZ!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:50 | 5334892 whoopsing
whoopsing's picture

And asteroids !

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:50 | 5334898 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I wish I were at the helm of HAARP to stear this right on top of the White House.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:51 | 5334902 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

A real shitstorm hitting DC won't be weather-related.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:55 | 5334953 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

How can you tell the difference between the shitstorm and all the shit that is already there? Phase cancelation.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:51 | 5334909 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

I saw the title of the article and just had to fucking laugh.  Burn motherfucker, burn!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:55 | 5334942 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

I had to laugh, too; I admit it. The theatre of the Absurd really is in town.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:54 | 5334945 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Fuck, I hope we get an F5 on K Street.  I can just imagine all of those fucking vermin whooshing around, slamming into concrete and shit.  Fucking WHOOSH BITCHEZ!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:51 | 5334912 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

In one word "Good"!

Hope it's an EF 5!  Wipe it clean and start over!!!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:52 | 5334917 dow2000
dow2000's picture

@Tyler's

When do the margin calls start?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:54 | 5334937 Conax
Conax's picture

Butte, Montana will make a fine new capital.  It's the geographic center of the country, or something.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:40 | 5335397 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

That's like, Freudian man.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:56 | 5334947 arby63
arby63's picture

The nation would never be happier if that sucking chest wound of a Capitol were wiped off the map--as long as Congress is in session! Oh, and the president is in the Oval.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:59 | 5334987 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

They'll all be safely deep, deep underground closest to their real master..... SATAN

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:55 | 5334949 agstacks
agstacks's picture

I hope everyone there stays safe. \s

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:00 | 5334995 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Naw, just the ghetto rats.  They didn't do anything to deserve a tornado.  The rest of it can be demolished for all I care.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:59 | 5334979 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Are the Sharks still there?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:58 | 5334982 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

totally awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 12:59 | 5334996 VWAndy
VWAndy's picture

Dang I was so looking for that giant sucking sound to reach DC and singularity.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:01 | 5335004 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

"Aunty J! Aunty J!  There's no place like home! There's no place like home!"

 

Now's supposed to be where we wake up and find that the past 2 weeks were all just a bad dream and the S&P's still safely above 2000.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:06 | 5335058 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Dear god,

PLEASE SMITE THEM ALL.

e_

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:32 | 5335301 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

I'll take "Old Testament" for two thousand Alex.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:38 | 5335371 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

"Your call is important to us; please wait for the next available Angel of destruction to take your message".

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:07 | 5335061 taketheredpill
taketheredpill's picture

 

 

 

Image Sharknado except with Ebola people flying all over the place...

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:08 | 5335069 fightapathy
fightapathy's picture

If it hoovers up Michelle, they're facing BITCHNADO.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:08 | 5335076 alexcojones
alexcojones's picture

Tornados have swirled around DC since 1963.

November 22, 1963.

 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:13 | 5335123 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Ebola tornado or just a normal one?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:18 | 5335156 himaroid
himaroid's picture

Now I've got blue balls.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:20 | 5335173 Dig Deeper1
Dig Deeper1's picture

Maybe...just maybe we get to stay in OZ and the dumb phucks can be blown back to Kansas.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:34 | 5335328 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Please no. We don't need anymore people from KS high-balling it up and down the I-35

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:21 | 5335174 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Well overdue a good vacuuming. 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:20 | 5335185 Beowulf55
Beowulf55's picture

BREAKING NEWS:          ASTEROID TAKES OUT DC...........WORLD CELEBRATES

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:26 | 5335226 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Calm down!

Probably just Hillary just giving her new broomstick a test-flight.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:35 | 5335322 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Do you mean using like a witch would or...

 

 

...like witch wood.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:38 | 5335374 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

How much wood would a witch wood would if a witch wood could wood wood.

 

Or something.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:31 | 5335278 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Reap the whirlwind MFers.

Reap the whirlwind.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:30 | 5335283 madcows
madcows's picture

too bad they're all back in their own states, campaigning

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:35 | 5335339 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Buzz kill.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:22 | 5335770 aheady
aheady's picture

lol

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:39 | 5335383 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

They haven't made D.C. a Tornado Free Zone yet?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:44 | 5335420 KidHorn
KidHorn's picture

The weather has been strange today in Germantown MD. No rain to a downpour to no rain in a span of maybe 500 feet.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:50 | 5335481 Solio
Solio's picture

That might spread the STD's.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:51 | 5335499 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Fucking awesome. Tear that shithole to the ground.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:52 | 5335507 Spungo
Spungo's picture

Thank god nobody important lives there

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:58 | 5335540 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Let us pray.

"Oh Lord, please spare the DC area from the wrath of the tornado. Don't let our guillotines be denied their rightful Retribution. Amen."

An American, not US subject.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 13:57 | 5335544 Ghostdog
Ghostdog's picture

Cause: Government flatulence?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:00 | 5335572 YMHC
YMHC's picture

Rain 40 days, please fucking rain to wash these turds off my fucking life! Wash these human wastes of flesh and bone off this planet! I pray to you, God, to kill these fucking people

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:04 | 5335611 Eahudimac
Eahudimac's picture

Pleae God, I've not asked for much, but if you could just this one time, level the strip from the white house to the capital building in DC with an F5, that would be awesome. And while you are at it, please steer it over to the Eccles building and make sure not even the foundation is left.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:49 | 5336068 falconflight
falconflight's picture

Look I'm willing to pray to any power to get a multiple vortex of F-5's from Alexandria across the Potomac, up Constitution Ave, down Pennsylvanian Ave.  with a swath of about 1 mile.

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