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It Begins: HazMat-Wearing Passenger Spotted At Airport

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Last week we hinted at what was to come as Ebola fears spread across America. Today, we get confirmation. As The Daily Caller reports, one passenger at Dulles International Airport outside Washington, D.C. is apparently not taking any chances. A female passenger dressed in a hazmat suit - complete with a full body gown, mask and gloves - was spotted Wednesday waiting for a flight at the airport.

 

Source: The Daily Caller

We particularly liked the JCPenney bag - maybe that's a new business line for the bankrupt retailer...

*  *  *

On a side note, try Halloween stores if you need a Haz-Mat suit in a hurry...

 

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Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:28 | 5335843 Deathrips
Deathrips's picture

Better than being a day late and $ short.

 

RIPS

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:29 | 5335861 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

what does she do when she needs to use the rest room?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:32 | 5335890 American Dreams
American Dreams's picture

Depends

AD

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:34 | 5335905 max2205
max2205's picture

No it's a full body condom.

Cums in handy

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:35 | 5335924 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Its Miffed, for sure.  She was jealous of the last guy's stunt.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:38 | 5335948 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"Coffee, Tea or Taze? Only .gov spooky people get to wear the official plague costume of the 21st century"

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:40 | 5335983 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Dear Miff,

Can we just wear hospital masks when we walk around like they do in Asia?

 

Regards,

the living

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:49 | 5336065 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Urgent:

Contamination Procedures:

http://www.fao.org/docrep/004/y0660e/y0660e03.htm

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:55 | 5336092 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Clearly, she hasn't read The Hot Zone or The Jakarta Pandemic, or she wouldn't be in an airport waiting to get inside an airtight airplane with a few hundred people.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:55 | 5336129 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

The JC Penny bag goes perfectly

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:02 | 5336185 NemoDeNovo
NemoDeNovo's picture

Well its all CTD [circiling the drain] now, might as well enjoy the shitshow

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:13 | 5336266 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Nice placebo.  That outfit isn't going to stop a rainstorm, much less a virus.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:42 | 5336532 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

MISTAKE.

She was just back from visiting Niagara Falls where she took one of those tacky boat tours

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:58 | 5336654 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Could you imagine sitting next to this on the plane?

Breathing like darth vader.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 16:31 | 5336922 imaginalis
imaginalis's picture

I hope it filters her paranoid breath on the way out.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:35 | 5335907 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

That mask will only help to prevent her from contaminating others.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:36 | 5335939 seek
seek's picture

Yeah, I've noticed that. Everyone is using N95 face masks and not P100 respirators. That N95 isn't going to do much, though better than nothing I suppose.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:52 | 5336088 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Tyler's,

Could you please stop the Prudential Pop Up advertisements for a while?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:07 | 5336221 Dark Space
Dark Space's picture

Firefox+Adblock = zero ads.

 

 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:14 | 5336273 PTR
PTR's picture

Ghostery works wonders, too.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 18:01 | 5337523 FiatFapper
FiatFapper's picture

Use the forked version Adblock Edge for FF; Adblock sold out to google and allow certain ads.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:44 | 5336005 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Well, there's the part of the respirator unit which I don't see and secondly, as that suits if fully sealed, transpiration and cooling will knock her off her feet if the trip takes more than 4 to 5 hours.

Ever wore one? Not that pleasant at all.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:34 | 5335898 StackShinyStuff
StackShinyStuff's picture

Her wrists are exposed.  So all she has managed to accomplish is look like an idiot.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:36 | 5335940 replaceme
replaceme's picture

I think the more that's exposed, the more she looks like an idiot.  If she had any smarts, she'd have a dozen more in that bag, could sell them to other idiots.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:41 | 5335982 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

That's no hazmat suit.  More like a rain poncho, N95 mask and some nitrile gloves.

LO Fucking L

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:52 | 5336099 pods
pods's picture

That is pretty funny.  Are those 3/4 sleeves CDC protocol?

pods

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:06 | 5336203 NemoDeNovo
NemoDeNovo's picture

Of course its Ray Cyst to be against #Ebola don't you listen to Bawreck Obola?  Repent NOW or be [re]educated </sarc>

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:54 | 5336111 12ToothAssassin
Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:45 | 5336025 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

Actually the exposed portion of her wrists acts as a vaccine.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:49 | 5336055 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Which is hilarious given her hands are the most likely way she would get contaminated. Escpecially with her arms resting on those ebola covered chair arms.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:14 | 5336265 Cynicles
Cynicles's picture

ebola is airborne. We are all dead, accept it and move along - nothing to see here.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:34 | 5335903 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

She will sweat like a bastard in that thing.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:39 | 5335963 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

But she will SURVIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 16:03 | 5336687 Armchair Bear
Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:30 | 5335872 Zhuge Liang
Zhuge Liang's picture

ebola just a distraction.  people won't believe it now, but in time it will be obvious.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:32 | 5335894 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Time again for ...

 

EBOLA IS A HOAX! IT’S LIBERAL MEDIA FEAR-MONGERING! NOBODY IS SICK WITH EBOLA IT NEVER HAPPENED. THIS IS THE TRUTH. IF THIS WAS A REAL PROBLEM THE NUMBERZZ WOULD BE SO MUCH HIGHER NOW111! BECAUSE IT IS GOING EXPONENTIAL BITCHES!! BUT NOTICE THERE ARE NO PHOTOS!!!!!!!! TOTAL HOAX FOR DUH SHEEPLES WHO ARE ASSLEEP. YOU CAN ONLY GET EBOLA (WHICH ISN’T EVEN REAL BUT IS A PLOT) FROM EATING FRUIT BATS AND MONKY MEAT BBQ AND HAVING SEX WITH MONKY LIKE IN AFRICA. EBOLA IS JUST LAME-STREAM MEDIA HYPE THAT WILL NEVER COME TO AMERICA AND IT’S THE FED ALSO TRYING TO CRASH THE ECONOMY  !!LOL!!. IT'S ALL A CIA PLOT!!1 THE DOCTORS ARE IN IT FOR THE MONEIZ!! THE CDC AND WHO IS CORRUPT VACCINES CAUSE MENTAL ILLNESS AND THEY KNOW IT ON PURPOSE. THE FDA BANS RAW MILK BUT IMPORTS EBOLA LOLOLOLLLL! THERE IS NO EBOLA VACCINE EXCEPT FOR THE ELITES, AND THE VACCINE WILL MAKE EVERYONE STERILE SO BUG-OUT. THE FBI IS SPREADING EBOLA TO TAKE AWAY OUR FREEDUMS. IT'S SOCIALISM I TELL YOU THE END OF AMERICA THEY ARE IMPORTING EBOLA (WHICH IS A HOAX JUST LIKE 9/11!!) TO START THE DIE-OFF SO THE ELITES CAN TAKE OUR GOLD!!!!!!! AND GUNS!! IT’S A ZIONIST PLOT COOKED UP BY THE JEW-YORK FED ZIONIST COMMIES!!! WT7 WAS A CONTROLLED DEMOLITION AND A HOAX LIKE EBOLA AND AIDS! IT'S BEEN PATENTED AND WEAPONIZED BY THE CIA IN NIGERIA I KNOW A GUY WHO WORKED IN THE LAB. ALSO SAW IT ON DISCOVERY CHANNEL. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVIE ME THEN READ THE BIBLE IT'S ALL THERE. AL GORE THOUGHT THIS UP ALONG WITH HIS HOKEY STICK AND CHEM-TRAILS ARE REAL FROM DEMOCRATS. THE DUMBOCRATS AND THE LIBBBBERALS WANT TO KILL ALL HUMANS TO MAKE THE WORLD SAFE FOR SNAIL DARTERS SO WE GET GLOBAL-EBOLA-WARMING BUT IT'S ALL A FEAR-MONGERING HOAX WTFLOL!!1!!!1!!! TAKE VITAMIN-C AND YOU CAN'T CATCH IT BECAUSE EBOLA IS JUST LIKE SCURVY, AND COLLOIDAL SILVER IS ANTIVIRAL YOU SHOULD TAKE 100 GRAMS A DAY OF SILVER. A GUY GOT EBOLA AND CURED HIMSELF BY SMOKING POT AND DRINKING RAW MILK, THAT'S RIGHT, EXCEPT THE FDA. BUT ALL THIS IS A HOAX!11!! ZIONISTS THEY ARE LETTING AFRICANS COME TO AMERICA WITH FREE TICKETS AND THE TSA IS IN ON IT TO KILL US ALL OFF. PREZ OBOLA IS MURDERING US ON COMMAND FROM TPTB, BECAUSE HE IS NOT A CITIZEN SO IMPEACH!. HE'S FROM KENYA WHERE THEY WEAPONIZED EBOLA 50 YEARS AGO LIKE WITH AIDS. IS THERE ANY EBOLA IN ISRAEL NO THERE ISN;T BECAUSE ZIONISTS. AND NONE IN ICELAND EITHER AND YOU KNOW ABOUT THOSE GUYS THEY ARE LIZARD ALIENS. AND IT'S A GIANT HOAX DON"T FALL FOR IT!1!!1!!!eleventy! BECAUSE THE LIZARD SPACEMEN FROM THE GAS MINES AROUND URANUS THEY WANT OUR PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS!!11! AND GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:34 | 5335908 Testudo321
Testudo321's picture

Caps Lock is a lie too I guess....

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:37 | 5335938 XqWretch
XqWretch's picture

this guy nailed it: 1)The populations of Liberia, Guinea, Sierra Leone are respectively 4.3 millions, 11.75 millions, 6.1 millions. Total combined population is roughly: 22.15 millions.

2)In these three countries where most of the Ebola victims have been identified, 8000 have been diagnosed and 4500 have died.
3)The populations of these three countries live in densely populated area, and lack adequate sewage systems in their neighborhood. Their healthcare systems are primitive at best. Their populations are exposed to infected corpses lying in street, infected family members and neighbors.

Analysis:

1)Even so we see a tiny fraction of .036% of the population getting infected and half of that dead over an 11 months outbreak.
2)So even living in these poor country, your chance of dying from Ebola is minuscule in an 11 months period.
3)With superior healthcare system, advanced sewage system in the US and Europe, the rate of infection and death should be even lower.

Ebola doesn't look so fearsome after facts are examined, is it?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:45 | 5336015 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

E X P O N E N T I A L   F U N C T I O N

Time to learn about infection R A T E S.

JFC - When disease comes through, everyone doesn't get sick at the same fucking time.

How long did the plague take to ravage Europe?

Just wait - Ebola hasn't even finished warming-up yet.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:50 | 5336076 XqWretch
XqWretch's picture

yawn... how many people was the "Swine Flu" supposed to kill again?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:27 | 5336410 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

Oh yeah - it didn't happen then, so it can't happen now.  That's great reasoning.  Your critical thinking professor must be proud.

How many people did the Spanish Flu kill?  How about Bubonic Plague?

By the way - how many degrees do you have in epidemiology and biology?  My wife has two masters, one in biology and one in epi as well as a PhD in molecular biology with her specialty being virology (HIV) - and she's quite worried based upon her research/training.

If I'm going to tell her not to worry on your say so, she'll probably want to hear about your credentials.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 16:20 | 5336828 Government need...
Government needs you to pay taxes's picture

It's all boring until one's family member coughs blood.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 16:29 | 5336909 XqWretch
XqWretch's picture

Well I hope you and your wife have fun wallowing in fear, "professor"

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 16:51 | 5337087 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

"Fear" is an evolutionary adaption that confers a survival advantage.  I hope you enjoy flying along fat, dumb, and happy.  It's a cheerful strategy - until the day it lets you and your family down.

FWIW - I do not think we're "wallowing" in anything - more like maintaining heightened vigilance and tightening up our preps just in case this gets really bad.  We hope it doesn't get substantially worse, but we want to be prepared if it does.  

And you know what - I actually sleep better at night knowing we've got our ass covered better than if we just said - fuck it - it can't happen to us.

 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:50 | 5336086 KidHorn
KidHorn's picture

Exactly. It can't infect everyone at once.

I find it funny how people post that only a few people in the US have been infected. How else is it going to start? It's going to start with 1 person, then 2 people, and so on. Right on queue.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:01 | 5336161 XqWretch
XqWretch's picture

But no one in Asia has been infected... not one person... 4.5 billion people... not one infected... but all of a sudden all the fascisct Western countries have cases popping up like a teenagers dick on his prom night... give me a fucking break... you idiots are probably scared of ISIS too

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:30 | 5336429 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

And 8 months ago only a few people had it in W. Africa.  

Using your stilted logic there's no way it could now be increasing at 1k per week.  

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 16:22 | 5336845 Government need...
Government needs you to pay taxes's picture

We agree on one point; .gov is more dangerous than Ebola.  Together, they are more relentless than Himmler's organization. . . what was it called?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 16:50 | 5337092 buttmint
buttmint's picture

Xq there is good reason no one in Asia or Russia has not been infected: switched on labs to reverse engineer the patented ebola strain. Bring USA to the Hague for Crimes Against Humanity. Plus, Big Pharma would lose out. Google up the pharma industry in India and Thailand. Both countries have copied HIV meds and are giving them to their afflicted....for free.

No biz here for Big Phamra boys. Hillary tried bringing Thailand in line by having them pay "back profits to Big Pharma." The Tais agreed, but laughed like hell after her show departed Bangkok. Ebola is now being viewed as an AMERICAN disease to Asians.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:52 | 5336108 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

People are about to get a painful, extremely expensive lesson in geometric growth patterns.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 16:33 | 5336941 RobertC
RobertC's picture

Here is a great classic worth watching: The Andromeda Strain [1971]

Like to game?  Find this app:  Plague Inc.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:47 | 5336046 moonman
moonman's picture

They do not fly or drive there like we do

That is a big variable you left out.

 

 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:17 | 5336305 PTR
PTR's picture

It's worth watching as boots-on-the-ground info:

 

http://www.vice.com/vice-news/the-fight-against-ebola

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 01:38 | 5339924 long-shorty
long-shorty's picture

no dude. ebola is totally fearsome. look at Nigeria... it's totally depopulated now. just an empty place like Chernobyl. your facts are crap. you are a C.I.A. troll. the market is going to zero.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:36 | 5335941 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Good.  Gooood.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:50 | 5336061 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

No, he is using Commodore 64 from his underground bunker in Montana.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:38 | 5335959 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"YOU CAN ONLY GET EBOLA (WHICH ISN’T EVEN REAL BUT IS A PLOT) FROM EATING
FRUIT BATS AND MONKY MEAT BBQ AND HAVING SEX WITH MONKY LIKE IN AFRICA."

Too freaking funny cougar. You hit every trigger there is out there and a few I haven't heard of yet.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:47 | 5336050 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Trying to be an evil genius here, but only really getting to the evil part. It's fine, I'm a total slacker anyway.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:50 | 5336077 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Its the Ebola equivalent of the Kennedy Assassination disinformation/befuddlement campaign.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:32 | 5336442 malek
malek's picture

One more you might not have heard of:

Ebola only spreads so quickly in Africa because they do ritual washing of the dead bodies.

In more winded form in some German newspaper.
Subconscious propaganda towards the reader: Whew, we're safe because we don't touch dead bodies!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:46 | 5336029 g'kar
g&#039;kar's picture

"Time again for ..."

 

 

LOL

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:52 | 5336066 DutchR
DutchR's picture

-YOU SHOULD TAKE 100 GRAMS A DAY OF SILVER-

Is that in one bar or can I use dimes, they are a little easier on the rectum.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:53 | 5336103 fuu
Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:56 | 5336139 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

No that was the real deal.

I swing both ways, so it pays to be really careful anytime you get around my particular groove.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:23 | 5336168 fuu
fuu's picture

Been enjoying your groove for years.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:56 | 5336141 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Strategic Troll is strategic.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:57 | 5336153 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Apparently only half of ZH bloggers know Cougar, or appreciate his/her sense of humor.

Too funny! It's healthy to poke fun at 'ourselves' (or our more paranoid elements) on occasion, even if in Monty Python style of Surreal Satire.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:06 | 5336211 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

All quite true. And since you went to so much trouble to not assume anything, I will let you in on a secret being that the cougar is a "he" kind of animal who really is named after the cat. Read into that anything you like.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:26 | 5336397 Cynicles
Cynicles's picture

So you are a...middle aged man that seeks college aged boys for recreational activities??

ugh  :/

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:33 | 5336469 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Demon cat is demonic.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:43 | 5336546 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Be nice, it has no idea. 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:49 | 5336592 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

I haven't set anyone on fire in years. Honest. I am completely reformed, maybe.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:02 | 5336187 ersatz007
ersatz007's picture

YOU FORGOT FLOURIDE!!!  YOU MENTIONED OUR PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS BUT FORGOT THE INTERNATIONAL COMMUNIST PLOT TO STEAL OUR PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS BY FLOURIDE AND NOW EBOLAAA~!!!!

FEED ME MANDRAKE...FEED ME.....

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:17 | 5336311 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

HEY THAT'S RIGHT I MISSED MENTIONING FLOURIDE I'LL ADD THAT FOR NEXT TIME. THX!!1!!eleventy!!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:18 | 5336319 Cynicles
Cynicles's picture

LOL

Next you will be saying Sandy Hoax was a hoax (where no one died!)

Stopped reading after the first sentence as all caps are the full retard mode.

The Goal w/a fake eobla is to get people lining up for the 'vaccines' - BOOM! Game over man

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:21 | 5336347 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Cougar, this one is giving you good material here....

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:24 | 5336371 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

I stand on the shoulders of giants...

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 18:01 | 5337531 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Is this what Hope and Change looks like?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:28 | 5335846 Decolat
Decolat's picture

First they ridicule you...

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:07 | 5336138 Decolat
Decolat's picture

.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:23 | 5336373 Cynicles
Cynicles's picture

liberals?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:28 | 5335847 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

if you don't tape the seams your might has well be naked

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:36 | 5335929 Wait What
Wait What's picture

someone needs to tell that guy: if you're going to go hazmat, do your homework 1st.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:54 | 5336119 KidHorn
KidHorn's picture

Not necessarily. You have to inhale wet spray from an infected person or have it land on an open cut or eyes.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:04 | 5336198 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

You must be 'Merican, to be thinking in such binary, B&W terms. /sarc.

Seriously though, admittedly she's not Proofing herself against the virus, but she is reducing her RISK to exposure significantly.

Maybe it helps her peace of mind, and maybe she's making a political statement. In any case, she's getting 'noticed".

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:19 | 5336330 Cynicles
Cynicles's picture

Use electrical tape - more sexy.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:29 | 5335848 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

he/she needs a respirator, not sure I see one.  And tape around the wrists.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:29 | 5335852 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

and a brain

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:32 | 5335883 Testudo321
Testudo321's picture

Tape around the wrists? Come on!

You can't roll up you sleeves if you have tape around your wrists....

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:29 | 5335853 palmdetroit
palmdetroit's picture

Those suits have worked so well...

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:29 | 5335856 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

Burkas are optional, until required by law.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:29 | 5335862 10mm
10mm's picture

How freakin sad this has become. And orchastrated,no doubt. At that point, why bother taking the flight.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:31 | 5335865 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Can't wait for the first designer HazMat suit.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:34 | 5335914 StackShinyStuff
StackShinyStuff's picture

The Kardashians are already on it

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:44 | 5336021 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

Kim is still trying to source a bolt of DuPont CPF fabric big enough to cover her voluminous ass

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:06 | 5336207 ersatz007
ersatz007's picture

you seem to forget, apparently, that Kanye was trying to market Leather Sweatpants...so hopefully he'll do something constructive and bring us fasionable Haz Mat

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 19:45 | 5337340 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

You can actually make your own designer HAZMAT suit of similar performance for the same or less money as the off-the-rack birth-control-fugly moonsuits...

Hers's what you need:

1) PVC Catsuit, hood and boots
2) black nitrile gloves (double layered)
3) Chemtape
4) M50 gas mask (properly sized and fitted w/ cartridge see below)
5) SCBA Rig and spare air tanks

How to prep:
1) Turn PVC stuff inside out glue and tape stitching seems to seal (wait till cured)
2) Put on suit, boots, hood, gas mask
3) tape any fabric joints and exposed zippers
4) put on SCBA Rig and connect regulator hose to M50 mask
5) enjoy your HAZMAT experience
6) when your air supply runs out after 45 minutes (assuming you didn't drop 5 figures on a rebreather assembly) you can switch to the normal "cartridge" on the gas mask before you suffocate (since it takes so long to properly decontaminate)

How to extricate:
1) Coordinate with buddy ahead of time, BE CAREFUL!
2) switch to normal cartridge on gas mask and remove SCBA Rig
3) have buddy spray you (and SCBA rig) down with 5% bleach solution or virucide and wait prescribed time for inactivation of anticipated biohazards
4) remove Chemtape and outer pair of nitrile gloves
5) repeat step 3
6) remove remove gas mask and hood, making sure not to make contact between externally exposed materials and your skin
7) remove catsuit, boots, and inner gloves with same caveat
8) pray to whatever higher power you do (or don't) believe in...

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:35 | 5335917 StackShinyStuff
StackShinyStuff's picture

dup

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:35 | 5335919 StackShinyStuff
StackShinyStuff's picture

dup

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:11 | 5336227 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Designer Hazmat Suits, you day?

They would be designed and marketed in New York, Made in Ebolistan, sold by Amazon, and delivered by UPS.

That would be the American way.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:31 | 5335866 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Kan I haz mat suit?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:30 | 5335873 object_orient
object_orient's picture

I hope it's a short flight and she has a large bladder.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:58 | 5336158 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

As someone up thread said, "Depends."

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:31 | 5335887 morning
morning's picture

wrong type of face mask, one layer short of passable protection overall, will need to confirm  ID at boarding so fuck.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:33 | 5335892 DannoH
DannoH's picture

Typiocally in a DPE you just pee into the suit and it pools in your leg, and you take a shower once you de-gown. If you are well endowed you can get it all to go into one boot which makes cleanup a little easier!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:35 | 5335911 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

OK. That's just about enough out of you. :-)

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:09 | 5336233 NemoDeNovo
NemoDeNovo's picture

Sadly he is telling the truth though.  Its a dirty business, lol

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:38 | 5335946 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

I can confirm that...

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:34 | 5335899 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Given how hot those suckers are, she will probably lose 10 pounds by the end of her flight.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:35 | 5335918 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

what we are going to need is decantamination showers at each point of origin and destination

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:53 | 5336120 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Whether they're sporting the latex or not...

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:59 | 5336169 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Is that why they bought all those water cannon truck thingies. We thought it was crowd control for riots. Can you see getting off the plane then "Whooosh" with some bleachin' solution? 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:16 | 5336293 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

I can just see it now...

"All passengers from El Al flight 666 please disembark and step right into the Group Showers for 'Decontamination'."
;-)

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:35 | 5335927 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Hahaha, maybe the total devastation of the airlines will finally get someone to act against the Ebola in Chief.

Obameda Strain, FORWARD!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:41 | 5335987 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'Obameda Strain'...I like it.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:37 | 5335954 Wait What
Wait What's picture

is that douchebag wearing gloves and still leaving his wrists exposed? not to mention using only a medical mask for facial coverage? good god, America really is full of idiots.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:52 | 5336101 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Idiots? I think you mean "informed voters."

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:38 | 5335955 Bemused Observer
Bemused Observer's picture

Geez, if you are so fearful of Ebola that you'd fly like that, I can't imagine what you'd be flying TO that would be worth it...

There isn't one sight on this entire planet that I couldn't easily postpone seeing for a year or so.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:54 | 5336112 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

My bet is that it's job related.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 16:19 | 5336824 kareninca
kareninca's picture

Relative in the hospital.  I'll (likely) be flying again in three weeks.  Sigh.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:39 | 5335957 divedivedive
divedivedive's picture

Just for info - perhaps 5/6 years back I worked with a guy who lived on the West Coast. He had some reason that he needed to wear a suit such as that pictured when he flew commercial. The company offices were on the East Coast. This guy was an extrememly valued employee and the owner often tried to arrange for his Challenger to pick the guy up. I've never seen anyone in such a suit at the airport or on board a plane - but there may be reasons other than ebola for that person's attire.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:42 | 5335991 matt1021_98
matt1021_98's picture

hilarious

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:43 | 5335993 Tinky
Tinky's picture

The (non-colloidal) silver lining to this hysteria is that it has helped me to forget – however briefly – about Peaches Geldorf's tragic, early demise.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:00 | 5336171 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Damn you! Now I'll never make it through the day. Thanks for the reminder, not!

Pixie and I are not amused.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:45 | 5336020 Spungo
Spungo's picture

"if you don't tape the seams your might has well be naked"

Not true. Ebola is not "airborne" in the medical sense. To be called airborne, something must be able to travel through the air without a carrier. Ebola doesn't meet that standard because it rides on the back of water molecules (sneezing, coughing). Wearing A goofy outfit and not touching your face actually goes a long way for preventing this from spreading. Not touching your face is the biggest thing, and the person's mask helps with that issue. She can't touch her face unless she removes her costume.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:53 | 5336094 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

Itchy noses suck. Always.

 

 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:02 | 5336181 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Which she will do later, then wipes her ebola covered wrist across her sweaty face.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:31 | 5336443 Falconsixone
Falconsixone's picture

What the hell do you know about it? Only what they tell you. Have you ever looked at ebola under a microscope? Go down to the Dallas hospital where they took the first asshole monkey fucker and stand outside 40' from the building and take deep breaths for 10 minutes...lol....Capt.Dr.Spungo. No fuckin way says I.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:37 | 5336495 smacker
smacker's picture

"Ebola doesn't meet that standard because it rides on the back of water molecules..."

Have you forgotten that air contains a lot of water vapour, as much as 80% in many climates.

Humid air is the carrier you are looking for.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:48 | 5336051 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

I would consider getting an Ebola suit and walking around downtown….  But my downtown is in Detroit and the residents would just take my Ebola suit.  

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:49 | 5336052 TheEndTimes
TheEndTimes's picture

I spy a central theme for halloween costumes in a few weeks.. 

 

 

which sucks because normally the best part of halloween is its an excuse for all the girls to dress like sluts.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:02 | 5336184 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

You said you were never coming back here, that you were done with this site. So? Why are you here?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 16:59 | 5337140 IrritableBowels
IrritableBowels's picture

10/10/2014

"Literally never coming to this garbage site again."

The withdrawals must've been too painful.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 17:47 | 5337415 TheEndTimes
TheEndTimes's picture

hahaha..

 

 

yes its an addiction

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:20 | 5336334 agstacks
agstacks's picture

Obama mask under the haz mat suit FTW

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:21 | 5336337 SmackDaddy
SmackDaddy's picture

re: the bitch on the plane.  how long until the O2 runs out and the cunt suffocates?

re: halloween.  if i had money to waste http://www.tombanwell.com/plague-doctor-masks-etc/

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:49 | 5336067 Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture

TRICK OR TWEET!!!!  Is that a Ebola bama costume?   CDC, ABC, NBC,   Kiss your ass goodbyeeeeeee!

oh i loves your costume; Let me see you Ebama Dance, and whats the password?  Vomit?  

Your so PC, so Liberal, so Progressive,   probably a Teacher,  tell the kiddies 1, 2, 3 COUGH.

Morons and Idiots in Govt...

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:52 | 5336097 SickDollar
SickDollar's picture

Hmmm Dulles Airport ( Washington DC 's  Internatinal Arport) plus let's not forget the  CIA is about 25 min drive from there

 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:52 | 5336106 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Crisis actor?

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:54 | 5336122 Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture

http://youtu.be/hh4yp07UKEg

The Ebola-Bama suits,   free with your Ebama phone, and Snap Card;  ( after deductibles) on you HCA  Health CARE Plan;  Medicaid?  free  Illegal Alliens? you get a kickback.

EBOLA BAMA LUBE EXTRA 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:55 | 5336123 Silver Bullet
Silver Bullet's picture

Super sad.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:56 | 5336132 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

Business idea's.

"Hazmats to Go"

"HazMats drive-in"

"HazMats R us"

"HazMat, don't leave home without it".

Mmmmm.

 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:55 | 5336134 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

Ebola laughs at your hazmat suit!  Bwaaahahahahahaha!  

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 14:58 | 5336154 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

What a maroon!

An American, not US subject.

 

"It's not what you think. I have Ebola and she was helping me sponge bath it away."

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:01 | 5336174 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

We could have fun at other people’s expense.

Make-up a batch of official looking CDC postcards.   (Don’t use your printer if it prints the yellow tracking dots.) 

Distribute these postcards throughout your neighborhoods.

Something like, “Please stay in.  Your area is under CDC Quarantine.  Do not circulate in the general population.  Everything will be OK so don’t freak-out or panic.” 

One person will report to the news possibly forcing Obama onto the screens stating the postcards are a hoax…  which will lead to more confusion. 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:05 | 5336201 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Now that is space monkey material right there.

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:11 | 5336242 Duc888
Duc888's picture

 

 

 

meh, I got this.

http://www.fxeyes.com/fxstore/shop/item.aspx?itemid=87

 

What a hoot.

 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:14 | 5336277 Agent P
Agent P's picture

This clip from Airplane sums up that picture perfectly!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJSgZYUnQn0

 

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:17 | 5336307 Falconsixone
Falconsixone's picture

Cheap garbage bag only capable of withstanding kleenex $1.19 bx of 12

Long Johns from china probably coated with that thin poison plastic spray that only washes off after 142 washes $12.49

Chepest gloves on the planet (tear if you look at them) $.99 bx of 50

Feeling safe because you haven't got a clue and are able to hide fat cow foods and stinks. .......rips fart .... aaaah..........

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Priceless!

Wed, 10/15/2014 - 15:20 | 5336336 combatsnoopy
combatsnoopy's picture

TICKER SYMBOL PLEASE! 

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!