This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Are You An Authoritarian?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Having previously provided a quick-and-dirty test to check whether you are a terrorist, we thought the following simple table would help readers test themselves (or their friends) for 'authoritarianism'.

 

 

Source: Doug Ross via The Burning Platform

 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:14 | 5379925 hobopants
hobopants's picture

Brilliant

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 02:07 | 5381218 stant
stant's picture

No just old hillbilly with more luck than most.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:14 | 5379927 fibonacci's claus
fibonacci's claus's picture

the unrestrained use of excessive force

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:48 | 5380001 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Our leaders consider 'the unrestrained use of excessive force' to be one of their freedom of speech rights... perhaps the completely impartial Supreme Court should decide this at a time of their convenience...

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:49 | 5380008 rehypothecator
rehypothecator's picture

I'm not even that ok with restrained use of excessive force.  

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 17:08 | 5380049 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Let's just keep hoping that when the financial system finally implodes there won't be any social unrest.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 19:51 | 5380454 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"they are taking our jobs"

huh, didn't know I was an authoritarian...

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 00:31 | 5381097 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

I'm just a person who thinks that each person is entitled to fuck up their own life and no one else's.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:27 | 5379956 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

"So this is Democracy"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfl_Aqn--mA

 

Father Coughlin speaks ............

 

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:56 | 5380032 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Unfortunately nobody listens... nice find Dork..

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:26 | 5379958 booboo
booboo's picture

This should be compulsory viewing. (sarc)

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:29 | 5379963 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Xenophobe = Authoritarian?

What?

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:32 | 5379973 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

the worst, I fear. Willing to accept boatsoada of A. if it only...

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:45 | 5379998 NoDecaf
NoDecaf's picture

"Where are your papers to PROVE that you belong here?"

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:51 | 5380021 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

I have friends that have swallowed the "illegals" destroyed the economy line so well that they just know that all should be forced to provide ID to work, vote, etc.

However, they have seen through the government criminals' "national ID" scheme as nothing more than a "papers please" method of control over us all.

An American, not US subject.

 

"If the government is not the problem, look again, as you missed something."

 

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:57 | 5380033 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

OK, makes sense.

I'm just sceptical of universal epithets, of catch-all words used to describe everything one doesn't like.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 17:29 | 5380103 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

OK, how about...
"Gravity sucks", or "Hookers suck". Does that work for you?

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 00:05 | 5381082 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Illegals in particular, and immigrants in general, are sadly lacking in the concept of 'Your Property'.

If over the last 200 years, 75% of immigrants were thieves, you would have a country based on thievery.

If on the other hand, 75% of immigrants were anarchists, you would have a country with little or no government.

Which one has modern America become?

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 07:44 | 5381481 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

There is a evidential problem with your thesis...

 

AUSTRALIA...which was a Penal Colony...

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 12:24 | 5382559 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Ever look into qualifications necessary to be shipped to Australia the Penal Colony? Also, my reference was to theft through government.

Oz loves its government thieves.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 21:35 | 5380795 Kreditanstalt
Kreditanstalt's picture

The "I want closed borders and tough border guards!" type of authoritarian...

 

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 22:37 | 5380923 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

I think most of us would happily settle for controlled borders.  There is not need to close them.

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 00:10 | 5381089 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

I prefer everything - especially the land - to be privately owned.

If someone enters, they would either pay their way, be sponsored privately, or be trespassing and shot on sight.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:30 | 5379964 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

I fear I'm sometimes a bit the elitist snob, only thinner. And in my environment lots of green zealots. Otherwise, I sneer down my nose to all those archetypes. lol

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:52 | 5380023 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

I fear I'm sometimes a bit the elitist snob, only thinner.

It's OK, Ghordius, you and MDB are in good company: the experts all agree that the experts should be running things.

;)

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 03:41 | 5381272 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

:-) ok, ok, perhaps a small defense of technocrats is in order, here. what is an expert? someone that has above average knowledge and interest in something

take diplomats. who do you prefer to send as ambassador to country X, someone that speaks the local language and knows the local customs, or a complete noob? which one will be more effective? which one is likely to cause less damage?

we live in civilizations built on expert knowledge. you don't call a medical doctor to mend your fences, you don't call a lawyer to fix your plumbing

and of course we all know, deep in our hearts, that we should elect politicians based on their Socratic humbleness, but we still have no certification for that

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 07:53 | 5381492 Liberty2012
Liberty2012's picture

The trouble is when someone's expertise leads them down the path of "I will make your choices for you", or "I don't need to think about it because I already know."

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 13:58 | 5382992 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

I am an Elitest Snob, except instead of experts running things, I want people to management themselves.  Those that are too stupid or lazy to put food in their mouth should starve.  Yes, I think I am more intelligent than 99% of the people out there, but my IQ test says I am only 4 standard deviations away from the mean, so I r not so int3lligent. 

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 00:14 | 5381094 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Work for the government? Any government?

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 03:42 | 5381274 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

once, for six months, long time ago. a wierd experience, that was

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 19:13 | 5384141 Zoomorph
Zoomorph's picture

I think the key distinction is whether you think "the government can run things better than ME" or "most other people are incapable and hence I should be in power".

The former are the authoritarians, the latter are the leaders, rulers, and generally intelligent and compentent members of society.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:31 | 5379968 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

Unfortunately they make up more than 50% of the population

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:39 | 5379980 TheGreatRecovery
TheGreatRecovery's picture

I agree that almost all these categories are authoritarian, but I think immigrants DO take citizens' jobs, teachers ARE poorly paid, and we SHOULD try to protect our commons, the environment.  I don't think that increasing teacher pay, being tough on immigration, or protecting the environment are authoritarian (although "protecting the environment" seems to sometimes be misused to serve as a cover for regulations that DON'T protect the environment, but do reduce freedom).  Just my opinion.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 18:40 | 5380268 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

Average salary of $57,000/yr for less than 9 months of work isn't too bad along with some of the best healthcare and retirement benefits of any profession.

summer break 10 weeks

spring break 1 week

thanksgiving 1 week

christmas break 2 weeks

That would be around $80,000/yr for a full 12 months of work.Compare that to the average salary in the US of $45,000/yr. 

 

The teachers unions are always hyping the starting pay for someone fresh out of college, which would be low for most professions. The US spends more per student than every developed country in the world except for the UK. Our classroom sizes are smaller than that of most countries. 

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 19:27 | 5380389 claytonmoore50
claytonmoore50's picture

Teachers are the highest paid SEASONAL WORKERS

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 08:58 | 5381675 TheGreatRecovery
TheGreatRecovery's picture

The nice thing about teaching is that if you are really good at anything, you can turn that into teaching.  The difference between humans and other animals is that we are able to record and pass along our knowledge.

I don't know what State pays its average classroom teacher $57,000 a year.  Maybe in the Northeast.

I am pretty sure that the "averages" are "fudged" by averaging-in the higher salaries of Adminstrators and the extra pay Coaches get for after-hours and weekend coaching work.  I think that if you look at the salaries in your local School Board, you will find that the money is in Administration and Coaching.

As for pensions, I believe most States are now on systems that, basically credit a dollar earned with a pension credit amount.  All State employees, including classroom teachers, get 1 pension credit for 1 dollar earned.  EXCEPT policemen, firefighters, and State legislators, who get 3 pension credits for 1 dollar earned.  And, therefore, pensions 3 times as large.

AND policemen, firefighters, and State legislators get much more money for equipment.

I hear a lot of people complaining about classroom teachers getting a sweet deal, but I don't hear people complaining about policemen and firefighters, who also have unions, getting much sweeter deals.

Lastly, I don't know what the $45,000 per year is, but I bet it includes people who work at fast-food restaurants and bargain-stores, and people who clean hotel rooms and cut grass.  People who didn't work their way through college and get a Professional License.

Two groups seem to always work against the public schools: oligarchs, who send their children to private schools and who may not want a well-educated citizenry; and powerful organized-religions, which have their own church schools whose graduates are in direct competition with the graduates of public schools.

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 16:12 | 5383561 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

All along the northeast and west coast the average teacher pay is $60-70K

They earn more than the average worker for less than 9 months of pay. They don't have to contribute into the broke social security system, which gives them even more take home pay. If they think they can make or deserve more money, they are free to go to the private sector or find a job during the summer and work a full year like the rest of us. Stop reaching into my pockets for more money, claiming that performance will increase if they make more money. The funny thing is, the teachers unions ALL oppose merit based pay, but claim that a higher salary and better benefits will increase test scores. 

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 18:43 | 5380273 Farqued Up
Farqued Up's picture

Their work product screams that teachers are grossly overpaid and are perpetuating myths.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 22:40 | 5380932 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

So you are going to throw facts around and see if anything sticks?  That just below the belt. 

FWIW, I'm 104% behind you.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 20:03 | 5380496 Clever Name
Clever Name's picture

All the reds just for the teachers thing? Cmon.

Minus that, he's right and yall know it.

Not for controlling the borders?

Dont mind if I dump toxins in your local river, or build a dump site next to your kids school?

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 22:27 | 5380905 Abaco
Abaco's picture

Pretty hard to argue that teachers are underpaid if you calculate the present value of their promised retirement.  On the other hand, most school districts could damn near double their teachers salaries if they got rid of all the useless parasites in the education department that don't contribute to educating the kids.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:33 | 5379981 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

How do.you call somebody who has 20 of those 24 caracter types in his own caracter?
Just asking.... It's for a friend of mine...

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:59 | 5380037 radiobomb
radiobomb's picture

...authoritotalitarian ?

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 17:18 | 5380080 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Obozo lite.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 18:41 | 5380269 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

Joseph Stalin

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 20:49 | 5380670 Joe A
Joe A's picture

Obama is a friend of yours? ;-)

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 22:41 | 5380936 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Mr. President.

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 09:03 | 5381697 TheGreatRecovery
TheGreatRecovery's picture

I might call that somebody an almost-perfect match for me, since I seem to have 3 of those character types in my character.  My 3 + that somebody's 20 = 23, and therefore that somebody and I just need one more person with that last 1 character type and we'll be PERFECT!  :-) 

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:36 | 5379985 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Authoritarians to the left = communists, authoritarians to the right = fascists. What's an individualist libertarian in the middle to do?
Form a gang to beat 'em

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 18:36 | 5380254 CCanuck
CCanuck's picture

 

"Authoritarians to the left = communists, authoritarians to the right = fascists. What's an individualist libertarian in the middle to do?"

Well, since your type has been bent over sideways, get some lube and lip balm cause your in for a good long fuckn' from both ends.

They both be living on little blue pills, keep'n them good and hard.

 

Get long, KY and Chapstick...its a winning combo.

 

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 20:20 | 5380563 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

Operation Mayhem... Where do I sign up?

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:39 | 5379991 83_vf_1100_c
83_vf_1100_c's picture

So we're all pretty much human with odd ideas? I can agree with that. Where is the stacker?

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:43 | 5379996 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

We really are fucked aint we?

Funny, yes indeed, relevant, yip, the way it is?  Who knows?

?????

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:46 | 5380003 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

The true insanity does not lie with the authoritarians, as they are psychopaths. The true insanity lies with the obedientarians, those that willingly obey and follow the psychopaths' edicts of pay this, do this, go here, don't go there, etc.

Obedience is the insanity.

An American, not US subject.

 

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 20:48 | 5380663 Joe A
Joe A's picture

All it takes for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:49 | 5380010 MASTER OF UNIVERSE
MASTER OF UNIVERSE's picture

Where is the fucking Nihilist Authoritarian like Hitler, or Bush? Please take a good look at the cartoon characterizations and tell me where the agressive American Government of George Bush would fit in? The cartoonist must be a Republican Authoritarian IMHO. Clearly, the cartoon depicts left leaning policy positions whereas it avoids right wing extremism

in the form of gun ownership and war. President Bush Jr. stated that 'he was a wartime president' and that is not representative of the cartoon depiction when it comes to the Warmonger Authoritarian. Once again America is attempting to have others view the Americanization of Internet

with propagandized cartoon characters that do not accurately depict American authoritarianism as a global brand of violent Hegemony and ultimately nihilistic tendencies on the part of governance via USA. The USA is so benevolent I just get all warm and fuzzy inside thinking about it.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 18:49 | 5380292 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

Maybe you should read it again, dumbass.

terrified

xenophobe

following orders

Since when is gun ownership and war right-wing? Obomber is spreading death and destruction just like Dubya, except he has a Nobel Peace prize from the leftists. As far as gun ownership, the left is just as much in support of gun ownership, except they think only the government should own guns. Figure out how many of those categories that mentality falls under

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 16:54 | 5380027 NoVa
NoVa's picture

Matt Groening created the bast comic panels ever.  Funniest is Jeff & Akbar - the gay Mooslum Brother/Lovers - a classic.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/summeranne/13-of-the-best-life-in-hell-comics-by...

I started reading in late 80s while in college in Seattle.  I have a few 1st editions of the Life in Hell books - not signed though - :( 

NoVa

 

 

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 17:24 | 5380094 Consuelo
Consuelo's picture

Akbar & Jeff's Cryonics Hut...

If you look closely, notice these two characters facial structure/expressions bear an eerie resemblance to Bill Maher...

 

 

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 17:12 | 5380067 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

No, but the GF is.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 17:19 | 5380082 AchtungAffen
AchtungAffen's picture

The original was so much better...

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 17:26 | 5380100 Consuelo
Consuelo's picture

'Authoritarian' is good - but the term is generally for those who have an understanding of history, and/or actually LIVING through an authoritarian regime.   I prefer a term that nearly Everyone can relate to - even the 'authoritarian' himself, as he/she is subjected to it from time to time, whether or not they are aware - or care:

'Control Freak'.

 

 

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 17:28 | 5380105 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Beware of signs bitchez

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 18:34 | 5380252 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Beware of labels... You might be inadverntly tagged with one or more.

Tue, 10/28/2014 - 00:21 | 5384951 thebigunit
thebigunit's picture

Everyone gets a label.

Just make sure you fit yours.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 20:00 | 5380484 bitterwolf
bitterwolf's picture

sold out elitist snob with cultural elitism and a dash xenophobia sugar coating a  soft moral codified psychopathic  dominant persona.

Stay Bitter ZH

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 20:08 | 5380521 SidKhadak
SidKhadak's picture

EBOLA – CIA Project Codename MKNAOMI & Hi-Tech Assassinations

 

In 1948, Henry Kissinger, a 23-year-old American intelligence officer, recruited Nazi expatriates to serve in top positions in American military, aerospace, and biological science and medicine. Twenty years later, he left Harvard’s esteemed faculty and resigned a lucrative position as Nelson Rockefeller’s foreign policy attache’ to become President Nixon’s closest advisor and director of the National Security Council. Seeking alternatives to tactical nuclear weapons to bolster America’s “diplomacy” abroad, the paranoid and egomaniacal Kissinger quickly ordered the Army’s Chief of Staff to requisition $10 million from Congress for the development and testing of EBOLA & AIDS-like viruses. Within ten years, the AIDS and Ebola epidemics erupted coincidentally in the regions of Africa ravaged by CIA military covert operations also ordered by Kissinger.

In 1984, Dr. Robert Gallo, of the National Cancer Institute, claimed credit for discovering the AIDS virus. He announced it most likely originated from a monkey virus which spontaneously mutated and naturally jumped species. Dr. Gallo was a biological weapons contractor for the CIA’s top secret “Project: MKNAOMI,” and was paid to produce and test EBOLA, AIDS-like viruses as early as 1970.

EBOLA – CIA Project Codename MKNAOMI & Hi-Tech Assassinations

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 20:17 | 5380561 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

That is the 20th time you've copied and pasted the exact same post in 2 days.

YOUR POST IS BULLSHIT SPAM.

ANY IDEA EXPRESSED IN YOUR POST IS BULLSHIT.

http://www.zerohedge.com/search/user_comments?name=SidKhadak

You are a spambot, not even a lower primate.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 20:45 | 5380655 Joe A
Joe A's picture

Lately ZH has seen an influx of spammer and trolls. These people have been with ZH for only a few weeks.

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 05:52 | 5381366 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Last time I went nutz in the China shop over a spambot I copied and pasted the same reply 6 times.

Given the subject of the thread, I couldn't pass up the irony.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 20:50 | 5380672 Joe A
Joe A's picture

Sounds like my wife.

Sun, 10/26/2014 - 21:33 | 5380791 Kreditanstalt
Kreditanstalt's picture

Tee-hee...!  PRICELESS!

 

"Liberal" authoritarians.

"Conservative" authoritarians.

"Democrat" authoritarians.

"Republican" authoritarians.

Socialist authoritarians.

...and more...

 

 

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 03:16 | 5381249 laomei
laomei's picture

i believe the purpose of the government is to level the playing field, protect critical sectors of the economy (ideally through nationalization), create a good economic environment that encourages growth, and generally provide for the stability and wellbeing of the society.  yes, this means you do things like have UHC (if you don't like that idea, then you should also be against ALL insurance pools), it means things like mandatory retirement ages (sorry, you're not all that special, make way for the next generation please, you can still be a consultant or start your own company), it means things like things being done for the common good as well.  It does NOT mean everything being regulated to some kafkaesque hell though.  It means that exceptions need to be made now and again that are supported with documentation, it does not mean rules must be devised to try and capture all cases and all exceptions however.  The notion of "legal precedence" is utterly retarded as well and only makes things worse.  Nice for reference, but in the end all it does is give unelected judges the power to make laws, which has gotta be the dumbest thing ever.  "Rule of law" is disgusting in a pure form, the same as "rule of man" is... the ideal society is capable of finding a balance between the two.  When a parasitic company hides fine print gotcha clauses, the courts need to be able to just throw it out entirely rather than siding with the company.  "Spirit of the law", "good faith" and "common sense" must prevail over "letter of the law"... for as it stands now, companies craft together complex vehicles and structures to turn the illegal into "legal" and get away with it, this shit needs to end.  Furthermore, politicians making "campaign promises" must be held to account legally.

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 09:18 | 5381758 exomike
exomike's picture

Lame, as usual.

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 20:46 | 5384408 thebigunit
thebigunit's picture

Good news! I passed.

Keep your hands where I can see them.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!