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America Votes: The Midterm Elections; Republicans Take Senate, Hold House - Live Feed

Tyler Durden's picture




 

"Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other" - Oscar Ameringer

 

  • *'TIME TO TO START GETTING RESULTS': SPEAKER BOEHNER SAYS

*  *  *
 

  • *TILLIS WINS NORTH CAROLINA RACE, SECURING SENATE GOP MAJORITY

  • *REID CONGRATULATES MCCONNELL ON REPUBLICAN SENATE WIN
  • *REID SAYS MESSAGE FROM VOTERS IS PARTIES NEED TO WORK TOGETHER

 

 

As AP reports,

Republicans retained their House majority on Tuesday, expanding their numbers to near historic highs and giving the GOP control of both chambers of Congress.

 

The GOP knocked out Democratic incumbents in Georgia, West Virginia, Illinois, New York and Florida as President Barack Obama proved too much of a drag on his party in midterm elections. Republicans also claimed two open seats in New York and North Carolina.

 

Control of the House and Senate means an all-GOP Congress for Obama's last two years in office.

*  *  *

State of Play:

House: 435 Seats, 43 Undecided, Results: Republicans 235 - 157 Democrats (Dem -8, Rep +10)

Senate: 100 Seats, 4 Undecided, Results: Republicans 52 - 45 Democrats/Independents (Dem -7, Rep +7)

*  *  *

For The House: 218 of 435 Seats Needed for Majority; Current House: 199 (D); 233 (R); 3 Vacancies

For The Senate: 51 of 100 Seats Needed for Majority; Current Senate: 53 (D); 45 (R); 2 (I)

*  *  *

NBC Live Feed

*  *  *

*  *  *

The key states:

*  *  *

Details:

As WSJ reports,

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky won a sixth term Tuesday as his party eyes its best chance in eight years to take control of both houses of Congress.

 

Mr. McConnell’s win against a strong Democratic challenger marks the first big election result of the night and positions the 72-year-old as the Senate’s next majority leader if Republicans manage to wrest the chamber from the Democrats in Tuesday’s midterm elections.

 

Hoping to capitalize on an unpopular president and a favorable political map, the GOP needs a net addition of six seats to gain sway over the Senate.

 

“Victory is in the air, we’re going to bring it home tomorrow night,” Mr. McConnell said at a closing rally Monday in Louisville. “After six years of borrowing and taxing and spending and regulation, these people need to be stopped, and it starts tomorrow night.”

*  *  *

Republicans have their first pick up of the evening:

Rep. Shelley Moore Capito defeats Democrat Natalie Tennant in race to succeed 5-term Democrat Jay Rockefeller, who is retiring.

 

Republicans need net gain of 6 seats to take control of Senate; analysts long had seen W. Va. pick-up likely for Republicans

 

Capito in 2000 became the first woman Republican to represent W.Va. in Congress; she is daughter of state’s former gov., Arch Moore

*  *  *

For those onlookers who prefer to stay responsibly number, TIME has a drinking game to get through the rhetoric that fills 8 hours of TV coverage...

Here are TIME’s 2014 Election Night drinking game suggestions:
 

  • “Ground game.” The key is to pace yourself. Drink one sip.
  • An incumbent is described as “embattled.” Drink three sips.
  • A Taylor Swift reference. Drink three.
  • “It will all come down to turnout.” Finish your drink.
  • John King doodles on his Magic Wall. Drink one.
  • A network presents publicly available information as an exclusive. Drink three.
  • Hologram sighting. Finish your drink.
  • A Democratic dynasty candidate loses. This includes: Mark Begich, Jason Carter, Andrew Cuomo, Mary Landrieu, Michelle Nunn, Mark Pryor, Mark Udall. Drink one. Let’s not go crazy.
  • Democrats win a battleground state: Alaska, Arkansas, Colorado, Iowa, Georgia, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, New Hampshire or North Carolina. Finish your drink.
  • A winning candidate thanks God. Drink one.
  • A winning candidate thanks his or her big donors. Drink three.
  • A winning candidate thanks Barack Obama. Finish your drink.
  • An anchor or correspondent cites an obscure, “crucial” county that may determine the fate of a race. Drink one.
  • You’ve heard of the county. Drink three.
  • Because you’ve heard of the county, you know the person touting its importance just mangled its name. Finish your drink.
  • A Democratic pundit points to the history of midterm losses for a sitting president. Drink one.
  • A Republican describes a win as a “mandate.” Drink one.
  • Newt Gingrich uses an out-of-proportion superlative. Drink three.
  • A media pundit advises Obama to “hit the reset button” or fire people who were in no way responsible for anything that transpired on Election Night. Finish your drink.
  • A winning candidate praises an opponent that he or she has been brutally savaging for months. Drink one.
  • The number of American flags on stage at a candidate’s victory speech exceeds the number of Electoral College votes in that state. Drink three.
  • A winning candidate is not wearing a flag pin. Finish your drink.
  • The number of on-screen pundits discussing the political impact of the Ebola virus exceeds the number the Americans with the Ebola virus. Finish your drink.
  • Someone notes that there’s only 730 days until we do this again. It’s time to call it a night.

*  *  *

AP's 5 Things To Watch For The Day After The Election... (via @NedraPickler )

SENATE RACES TO WATCH

Republicans marched steadily toward their goal of picking up six seats for control of the Senate, with a handful of outstanding races the determining factor. Democrats were looking to hold on by keeping Iowa and Alaska and hoping to pick up Georgia and Kansas. But one race won't be decided — Louisiana is heading to a Dec. 6 runoff.

OBAMA HAS SOME EXPLAINING TO DO

What word will President Barack Obama use to describe this election?
Four years ago he called his party's loss of the House a "shellacking."
Look to see if Obama follows the presidential tradition of holding a press conference the day after a midterm election. And since midterms tend to go against the party that occupies the White House, it's not usually a bright spot for presidents.

GRIDLOCK OR ACTION?

Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell delivered a victory speech vowing to turn the country around.
But then McConnell added: "I don't expect the president to wake up tomorrow and view the world any differently than he did this morning. He knows I won't either."
Obama kicks off the new era by inviting congressional leaders to the White House Friday.

GOVERNORS FROM BOTH PARTIES LOOKING TO HOLD ON

Democrats got some early good news by unseating a Republican governor in Pennsylvania, while Arkansas switched to GOP control. Key races were outstanding across the country, including Wisconsin, Kansas, Georgia, Colorado, Florida, Massachusetts, Illinois and Maine.

REPUBLICANS ON TRACK TO BUILD ON THEIR HOUSE MAJORITY

Watch to see whether the GOP can build their biggest House majority in the post-World War II era. Republicans are widely expected to grow their 234-seats beyond the 2010 tea party wave that led to 242 GOP representatives. If they can win more than 246 seats, they would exceed their numbers from 1947-49 Congress during the Truman administration.

*  *  *

h/t @LibertyBlitz

 

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Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:43 | 5412647 Reggie Dunlop
Reggie Dunlop's picture

America votes......and loses!

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:44 | 5412649 Slave
Slave's picture

It doesn't matter who wins. Nothing changes.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:46 | 5412662 Bangalore Equit...
Bangalore Equity Trader's picture

Listen.

You Americans are stoooopid thinking that your vote matters. It's fucking rigged. Like everything else in America.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:48 | 5412675 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Voting, and resistance, are futile.  Assimilation into the NWO is inevitable.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:51 | 5412689 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Never! The Sons Of Liberty have no affiliation save freedom.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:54 | 5412695 brockhardman
brockhardman's picture

I voted 6 times this year.  All I had to do is find 3 dead people and 2 illegals in addition to myself.  I must say, if you can do this with a clear conscience, you are a sociopath that needs to be tried with high crimes.  I feel dirty just joking about it.  To follow through on it takes a special kind of traitor.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:20 | 5412755 OW My Balls
OW My Balls's picture

I'm downvoting myself here for feeling compelled to click on & post a comment on an article about VOTING

<==

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:58 | 5412899 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I'm only looking to see in exactly what manner the herd reacts.

I'd like to say that I'm happy that it's all over for a while... yet for Hitlery, it's only the next beginning.

I notice CBS premeired "Madame Secretary" after 60 minutes on Sunday. Could they possibly be any more blatant?

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:23 | 5412967 OW My Balls
OW My Balls's picture

<== Brawndo (The Thirst Mutilator)

<== Coke & Pepsi

 

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:52 | 5413372 Midas
Midas's picture

I upvoted the Brawndo because they pay me everytime I do.  It's a good way to make money.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 03:08 | 5413585 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

It does have electrolytes after all.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:24 | 5413159 brown_hornet
brown_hornet's picture

C'mon NA...Tia Leoni has some integrity. :>)

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:35 | 5412821 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

I voted 6 times this year.  All I had to do is find 3 dead people and 2 illegals in addition to myself.

All that effort and it still doesn't matter.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:44 | 5412848 EBT excepted
EBT excepted's picture

so wut...d'pubes 'n' d'donks bof got us covahd...we be EBT 'n' $h1+...

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:58 | 5413080 Harriet Wanger
Harriet Wanger's picture

Funny, I live in a mail-in state and found four or five ballots on the ground this year. However, I could give a rat's ass so I left them for the dead people and (presumably) Mexicans to fill in. Oh yeah and the fucking apparatchik morons that kept showing up to my house until yesterday who were too stupid to think that I might be pissed off that they got my name somehow (I'm a registered independent). I'm sure they would have sent those ballots in.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:57 | 5412705 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

moved

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:50 | 5413361 Harriet Wanger
Harriet Wanger's picture

Strange.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:58 | 5412699 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

there is no dog and pony show if there is no audience.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:16 | 5412778 CH1
CH1's picture

there is no dog and pony show if there is no audience.

Which is why I left the tent. :)

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:00 | 5412722 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Really, the only good that comes out of voting is that we get to watch how each side reacts when they lose. Democrat voters will likely be losing their shit over the next few days, which will be just as hilarious as when Republican voters lost their shit after Romney failed to win.

For those of us who don't belong in either camp, elections still bring a perverse kind of satisfaction.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:15 | 5412764 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Romney DID win that election, Mc. And though we don't identify as D or R either, we are giddy about the prospect of a crushing defeat of progressivism (communism).

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:40 | 5412830 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

So the early results are in, and we can definitely call that TeamDepends is a closet Republican who won't admit it.  

In case you haven't been paying attention to ZH the last few years, the Bernanke was appointed by a Republican and reappointed by a Democrat.  Same with Greenspan.  What else matters?  Gay marriage?

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:07 | 5412919 Cobra
Cobra's picture

Abortion... And not getting anyone to agree on anything. That matters too.

And vote rigging, and coercing voters with handouts.

Happy Election Day.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:13 | 5412928 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Wait...  Yes!  We can call another Republican ZH poster.  Cobra.  Although in fairness to you, I don't remember you claiming to be a libertarian.  But I'll wait for it.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:30 | 5412981 Cobra
Cobra's picture

No need for name calling.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:37 | 5413013 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

So...  Let me guess.  Libertarian, then?  Close the circle.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:43 | 5413028 Cobra
Cobra's picture

I vote with the NRA. Every time. Good enough?

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:45 | 5413033 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Avoiding the question answers it.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:50 | 5413046 Cobra
Cobra's picture

I suppose it does.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:16 | 5413126 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Lola is eternally attracted to me, I will ream her and she will love it as she always has.  Don't mess with my bitch.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:27 | 5413166 Cobra
Cobra's picture

Yikes man, Happy Erection Day??

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:34 | 5413183 Esculent 69
Esculent 69's picture

Cobra-Yikes man, Happy Erection Day??

What do the japanese do when they have erections?

They vote!

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:42 | 5413205 knukles
knukles's picture

Well I for one am not going to say if I voted for Obama or would have supported ProctoScopeCare

And do you believe that Al Franken held his seat?
How dispiriting is that?

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:27 | 5413315 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Absolutely mind numbing.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:44 | 5413348 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

He was good enough. He was smart enough. And doggone it, dead people liked him.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:46 | 5413223 Cobra
Cobra's picture

Yikes! (Double dupe?)

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:17 | 5413134 SmackDaddy
SmackDaddy's picture

not sure how they do things in your parts.  but 'round here the fuckheads voted overwhelmingly for the republican candidates.  and yet at the same time voted overwhelmingly to jack up property taxes at every opportunity.  it's the incongruity of it all that kills me!

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:40 | 5413345 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Voters are convinced that increased taxes will hurt the rich more than themselves. More free money that always comes out of their pockets when they are not looking.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 04:12 | 5413663 css1971
css1971's picture

When your politics is one dimensional this is quite normal.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:12 | 5412924 Teamtc321
Teamtc321's picture

Hope, Hope and Change!!!

It's still got to be all Bush's Fault!!

Fuck Liberal Technocrats. Let Them Eat Rand and Die.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:13 | 5412930 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

And another!

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:02 | 5413092 Teamtc321
Teamtc321's picture

Count me anywhere you like, as long as it's not in the swamp with a pile of Lying Alinsky Technocrats.

How do tthey say it politically correct to divert cover? How Bout, You Fuck in A!

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:59 | 5413261 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

Really, the only good that comes out of voting is that we get to watch how each side reacts when they lose. Democrat voters will likely be losing their shit over the next few days.

 

McMolotov called it.

A bitter loser.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:39 | 5413015 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

Im just glad the commericals are over. I swear scott and christe had to have run the most negative campiagn Ive ever seen. I did go and vote today, mainly to keep my local school board from raising the sales tax to give them moar money to waste. I did vote for the libertarian party for governor, don't much care the douche bad with the R or the douche bag with the D wins, and I left a large part of ballot blank since I really don't like participating in that shit anyway. But yes, Rand, I do believe you will be seeing a lot of your favorite "ZHDrudgers" on here tonight. Probably a few talking about how awesome its going to be when "some real conservatives" take over the senate

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:21 | 5413308 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Some of those ZHDrudgers stopped watching retard Z-TV and Z-Hollywood about a decade ago. 

I guess you did not get the memo or you like supporting your serfdom by watching the daily electron brainwashing like a mongoloid.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:40 | 5413341 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

I have no illusions about the Republican Party, and our Federal system as it is currently composed is irredeemably fucked no matter who is at the controls. But I will say this: I dearly love watching Democrats lose. They are the worst of the worst.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:40 | 5413016 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Aw, did you junk us LTER? Though we've been tempted lately, we have never junked you. Anyway no, we are most certainly not closet Rs. What are we? Well, take this with as many grains of salt as you need but we are descendants of Braveheart. Not saying we are special, as everyone is related to a freedom fighter. The D party is now lorded over by Ayers/Alinsky communists. This is a fact. Communism is the polar opposite of a Constitutional or Representative Republic. So we voted today against Ds, not for Rs. There is always this choice, freedom or bondage. Many here say "fuck voting" or "fuck the state". Easy to say and it accomplishes nothing. When civil and legal means evaporate, revolution becomes the only option. "Bring the revolution" says the one who has rarely had to fight for anything and certainly has never gone toe to toe with a fully militarized police state.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:51 | 5413049 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

I have heard statements like that for years. People who say that are the reason people like Ron paul have no chance in the republican primaries. Thats why the republican establishment knows they can put people like romney or mccain on the ballot, and rubes like you will vote for them, since you think you are just 'voting against the D's', which is why they don't take you seriously and never will. The idea that they will scale back govt at all is laughable, the sooner you realize that, the better

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:25 | 5413164 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Guess what, Carl? We campained hard for and were delegates for Ron Paul in 2008. So fuck you! As we said a week ago, we don't expect our vote will have any impact on the cartel/shadow gov. But it will have an impact LOCALLY. And as for you LTER, go ahead and bend over for Big Brother. We choose resistance. We choose LIFE!!!!!

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:31 | 5413304 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

You're the one sucking Big Brother cock my friend.  You choose resistance by voting Red Team?  At least in the Matrix the guy who reinserted himself got steak.  You opted for a footlong.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:34 | 5413333 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

As the sheep all stand about munching on obviously dry and less than savory grass while complaining of their situation, but taking solace in the fact that at least they didn't vote for their masters. Choice. Desirable in theory and seldom enjoyable in action. Better to tell yourself you never had a choice than to choose poorly.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 01:52 | 5413481 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

A true sheep accepts the shit sandwich over the douchebag, oldwood.  Or vice-versa.  Sheep accept the choices given to them.  Did you vote for one of the Teams?

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 08:36 | 5413977 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

So you are saying the sheep actually did choose? I'm not clear on your point that  sheep accepts the choices given them. So did you not by not voting? It appears to me that you are likely still subject to the exact same rules as those who voted.

And damned straight I voted. It may be futile but I see no honor in simply letting them have their way with me while  pretending I'm somehow in protest. There may not be much to vote for but there are lots to vote against. Resistance is futile but surrender is pathetic.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:35 | 5413336 Teamtc321
Teamtc321's picture

I'd venture to bet the only Democrat cock getting sucked tonight is Ol' Bill Doe Clinton.

I think I might breakout a cigar.....

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:05 | 5412738 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Nah, the NWO loses. I cheated and read the end of the book.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 02:12 | 5413510 old naughty
old naughty's picture

Really? Please share with us how/where/when/what/who...

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:21 | 5412784 Payne
Payne's picture

So if it is so futile why do they try so hard to convince you that it is futile.

It is like drowing in 2 feet of water, you can drown and you can also standup for yourself.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:31 | 5412986 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Divide and conquer, of course. If they can get you fighting amongst your friends/family/neighbors/etc... you don't have the time, and rarely the inclination (let alone the ability) to go after the true culprits in power.

It's really sad watching people fight over the right to choose which criminals get to control the gun which points at all of our heads.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:35 | 5412817 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

No, you getting ripped apart at the hands of your neighbors is inevitable.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:50 | 5412865 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Such hostility.  That time of the month come early?

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:56 | 5412887 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

How did you know I was talking to you, babe? I thought for sure it was lost in the comments far down the list.  This is why I know you have always been my woman, Lola.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 01:03 | 5413398 Teamtc321
Teamtc321's picture

I had a cow dog named Lola, I actually liked the dog. Although, she was a yipping Mfer.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:34 | 5412819 just-my-opinion
just-my-opinion's picture

Come on man...don't you want to live in a fema camp....or get nuked....or die from eatin seafood

 

I had a woman a few years ago that wanted children...I said I can't leave a child in this world I love....I have a new GF

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:56 | 5412701 Cautiously Pess...
Cautiously Pessimistic's picture

Listen.

Don't you have some border disputes to resolve with your Chinese overlords? 

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:59 | 5412714 Bangalore Equit...
Bangalore Equity Trader's picture

Listen.

Don't you have some Obama Fried Chicken to eat? With side of celebratory coal slaw?

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:11 | 5412751 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Cole slaw...oh never mind.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:44 | 5412850 hobopants
hobopants's picture

Lol don't correct him, he is perfect just the way he is. Imagine what this blog would be like if they never put wifi into the bangalore slums. Ahh diversity! 

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 01:41 | 5413464 Serenity Now
Serenity Now's picture

Lol, he's one of my favorite posters.  

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:32 | 5413180 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Nothing like Coal Slaw made with a delicate Kerosene sauce to warm the cockles Nmewn !!!

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:45 | 5413213 knukles
knukles's picture

LOL

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 04:22 | 5413679 css1971
css1971's picture

Should be Kohlsalat.

Kohlsalat is german for cabbage salad, which is what coleslaw is.

 

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:56 | 5412704 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

@ Bang,

Spot on!! Exactly! The Criminality that used to be "hidden in plain view" is now out in the open for all the World to see. The Criminal Elite are actually flaunting it in our faces daring us to do something about it.

Complete Psychopaths & Hubris on their part. It's demonstrates how absolutely & completely illegitimate they as well as the Criminal Fraund UNITED STATES, CORP. INC is.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:02 | 5412724 Bangalore Equit...
Bangalore Equity Trader's picture

Listen.

It's why I stay in India now and hope the Muslims take your country sooner rather than later. If you learn to shit on sidewalk the Israeli's will leave you alone as well as the Muslims. Anyhow, enough of sharing my national secrets.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:13 | 5412762 nmewn
nmewn's picture

National secretions?

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:55 | 5412880 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Ancient Chinese citizenism secret.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:13 | 5412932 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I kinda miss ole Komrade AnAnonymous, for his slanted, sanitized ethical & moral high ground of course ;-)

I swear, you and akak had that dude down...lol.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 03:53 | 5413646 Lore
Lore's picture

Statements like "Hope the Muslims take your country sooner rather than later" are entirely too neat and contrived and make me question whether Bangalore is a real poster, or just a troll in the pocket of GWOT fearmongers. 

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 07:35 | 5413844 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Well, I think he's a H1B living somewhere around DC after seeing some of the blabbering he carries on with a couple others about it being such a wonderful town.

He's definitely NOT American.

As far as his perceptions of radical muzzies, the Hindu's historically have the same problem with them as Christians and Buddhists and atheists etc. but he is a twisted little fucker no doubt about it...lol.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 11:36 | 5414684 Fedaykinx
Fedaykinx's picture

the H1B thought has crossed my mind as well.  personally i don't find him as entertaining as ananonymous but he tries hard.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:36 | 5412823 Cautiously Pess...
Cautiously Pessimistic's picture

Listen.

 

You may want to go ahead and get fitted for a burqa you silly little girl. 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_in_India

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:41 | 5412841 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

OK, that is funny. Please change your avatar.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:46 | 5413219 knukles
knukles's picture

What is it?  A monkey banging a puppy dog?

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:57 | 5413253 Totentänzerlied
Totentänzerlied's picture

"You Americans are stoooopid thinking that your vote matters."

Correct.

"It's fucking rigged"

Incorrect (there is no point in or benefit to be had from rigging anything when the choices are functionally indistinguishable; rigging is only sensible when an undesirable outcome is a possibility).

 

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 01:52 | 5413483 Dakota Kid
Dakota Kid's picture

Bangalore Equit

Is that why so many people from that hell-hole called India want to come to the USA?

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 01:55 | 5413490 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

/

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 03:27 | 5413614 Statetheist
Statetheist's picture

Like it's different anywhere else, peon?

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:54 | 5412693 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

Hey, Harry Reid could keel over and die when he finds out he is no longer the Senate Majority leader. The karma of "Hope and Change"...

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:01 | 5412726 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

See? This is going to be a beautiful evening.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:46 | 5412853 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Hairy Read should be swinging from a lamp post outside the Bellagio.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:45 | 5413214 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Harry ?  where have I heard that name before ...

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 07:47 | 5413870 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Naw, he's good, his twin brother is taking the reins for his turn. No hope, no change.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:07 | 5412918 pFXTim
pFXTim's picture

not sure why zh feels compelled to waste space advertising this farce but whatever...

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:52 | 5413241 knukles
knukles's picture

Affords the momentous opportunity of twisted and sick humor

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:11 | 5412926 scrappy
scrappy's picture

Hope and Change.

Democrats are Pepsi, Republicans are Coke.

http://www.drudge.com/news/183129/67m-cocaine-found-mcconnell-laws

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:41 | 5413023 scrappy
scrappy's picture

The Dem voters thought this was about "Saving the Last Turtle" - Oops.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:46 | 5412666 BaghdadBob
BaghdadBob's picture

"....and in other news Kim Kardashian has one tit slightly larger than the other. Let's cross over now to our LA correspondent who's standing by to give us further details...."

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:51 | 5412691 tongue.stan
tongue.stan's picture

I upvote any post that touches on tits. It is my constitutional duty as a citizen.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:27 | 5412962 scrappy
scrappy's picture

Here you go Patriot.

http://believe-or-not.blogspot.fr/2009/09/top-10-biggest-breasts-in-worl...

I wish you a happy ending this erection day.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:47 | 5413222 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Don't forget

Guns, Gold, and Beer

All good and American as apple pie.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:11 | 5412754 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

When we are talking about re-electing a mealy mouthed corrupt fuckstick like Mitch Mcconnell how can anybody have faith in voting? Man is a walking fuckstick, a cunt of the first order and yet our kentucky friends re-elect him again and again

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 07:50 | 5413873 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Libertarian got over 3%, huge considering he was banned from the debate by KET and I never saw even one campaign sign, radio spot, or TV ad. My county voted against McConnell in the primary, the tea party candidate won.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:23 | 5412793 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

I wrote in A.Hard Boner for governor. Figured the vote counters needed a good chuckle

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:44 | 5412849 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Liberal and Democrat voters are mongoloid scum

Dem politicians are the evilest shit in the universe.

NeoCons like McCain, Graham, Rubio are traitorous scum.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:41 | 5413026 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

TIME is offering drinking game ideas?

Fuck that rag. Like 70 year olds are drinking beers like state U students with low SAT scores.

Why hasn't that rag died yet?

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 04:02 | 5413649 Lore
Lore's picture

Semi-literate readers like picture books.

And if a picture is worth 1000 words, then a picture book is worth volumes of text-based propaganda.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 01:29 | 5413442 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 01:44 | 5413470 scrappy
scrappy's picture

Turtle time!

May God have mercy on us.

 

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 01:56 | 5413494 stant
stant's picture

I am from kentucky I had to vote for a monster to tell a bigger one fuck you. Life sucks for a southerner . Oh by the way the north sucks. Yeah I said it . We are still here

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 01:57 | 5413495 BOPOH
BOPOH's picture

Coming to Fashington soon - http://www.anna-news.info/node/25025

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 02:27 | 5413531 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

You need 67 votes in the Senate to remove Obama or override his veto, re:Obamacare. 

So, nothing changes.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 03:44 | 5413633 Bloppy
Bloppy's picture

No-namer without money or any real campaign almost beats Vermont's "popular" governor:

http://tinyurl.com/ky8ku65

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:44 | 5412650 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Where are the drinking games Tyler? Ahh screw it.... just drink. Soon the red team ill be able to fix everthing..... Lol.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:54 | 5412698 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

I'll mix me a Manhattan in your honour.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:48 | 5412862 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Manhattans?  You are either a banker/1%'er or you are pretty old.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:54 | 5413062 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Old, poor, and educated.

Old, poor, educated, and $9.50 will get you a Manhattan at a bar.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:26 | 5413316 Freddie
Freddie's picture

The bartender would probably be pretty old to know how to make one. 

A popular (NE) country club set drink from the 1940's.   ;-)

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:56 | 5412892 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

America drinks and goes home...

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:51 | 5413363 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

You can't just say that without furnishing a link. Here is the Ukele interpretation of that classic.

http://youtu.be/fOAbijEPL9w

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:16 | 5412775 Pooper Popper
Pooper Popper's picture

Im going with Crown on the rocks!

 

Cheers!

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:33 | 5412813 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Buddy of mine gave me some peach shine, been saving it for the occasion, its pretty damned good. Hey! 100 proof and made with peaches that hit the ground before harvest that aren't marketable.

Oh look, they're recycliniiiiing ;-)

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:38 | 5412827 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Aviation gin for me.....just because.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:05 | 5413103 Slave
Slave's picture

Mount Gay Extra Old

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:51 | 5413233 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Knob Creek

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:29 | 5413321 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Hemlock because this election is fake like the rest of them.   

It would be nice if they removed the usurper from office and deported the illegal. 

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 23:34 | 5413186 Hulk
Hulk's picture

MIG 23 brake fluid (vodka) for me, just because I can never stop !!!

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:43 | 5412651 Hapte
Hapte's picture

Voting seems cool, lets all do that.

/fgts

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:44 | 5412653 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Great. The elections are over. Now gas prices are gonna go back up. :-( At least we won't have any more political ads for awhile.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:48 | 5412861 Cobra
Cobra's picture

Elections: Mailbox is full, gas tank too.
Post elections: Mailbox mostly empty, gas tank too.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:46 | 5412654 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Don't forget to vote early and often.

<Please remember that voting fraud helps your party.>

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:47 | 5412663 nmewn
nmewn's picture

And then we can treat ourselves to fried chicken! ;-)

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:53 | 5412687 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I fully expect a point in time when so many people stay away from the elections that the ruling elite, desperate for some kind of 'consensus' for their ongoing rape and pillage, will force "We the People" by law to vote and dip our fingers (or mark our foreheads) with purple ink to show we have obeyed the law.

The Mark

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:57 | 5412710 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Speaking of "the law"...I know you love these stories from Fla ;-)

"A man from High Springs tried to drown himself in a jail cell toilet after he was arrested Saturday night for fighting at The Fest 13, according to police.

 

 

Jeffrey Scott Hubler, 47, was intoxicated on Bo Diddley Community Plaza at about 8:30 p.m., and Gainesville Police spokesman Officer Ben Tobias wrote in an email that he fought with security staff and bit one of them on the shin.

 

 

While waiting to be booked, Tobias said Jacobs put his face in his jail cell toilet and tried to drown himself. His bond is set at $5,000."

There is absolutely nothing I can add to this...lol.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:04 | 5412736 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I hope he at least had the decency to flush first.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:08 | 5412744 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I was just thinking..."Gainesville Police spokesman Officer Ben Tobias wrote in an email that he fought with security staff and bit one of them on the shin."

Maybe, he had some company in the cell, we do things a little different down here ;-)

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:32 | 5412814 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Yes I am pretty sure that he had some "help".

 

Maybe those "good ol' boys" will also need some "help" someday.

 

 

And for all of you pricks whom believe that mistreatment was justified because the drunkard was being an assaultive jerk...

 

Just please do not ever let me catch you in your hypocrisy when you claim the "Rule of Law" was violated because Obozo issued an unconstitutional EO.

 

I do not even know how you can look at your own evil face in the mirror or sleep at night. (You are just as corrupted as Obozo. You are just like him.)

 

So go ahead and downarrow this as you are so worthy of being hypocrites. Let me know how many faggot Obozos are on this website.

 

 

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:54 | 5412881 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

A little high strung tonight, are we?

Deep breaths, think happy thoughts, deep breaths...

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 00:00 | 5413262 knukles
knukles's picture

Way the fuck too much crack   Betcha he's been trying to peel that one piece of loose skin off his forehead for 3 hours.  And now, back to our regularly scheduled confusion.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 03:15 | 5413596 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

I hate drugs Knuckles.

 

It is SORCERY (pharmakopeia) and sorcerers need to be put to death.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 03:20 | 5413601 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Actually tonight's results have been extremely pleasing.

 

And it has absolutely nothing to do with politics.

 

I am relaxed.

 

Thank you for your kind thoughts.

Wed, 11/05/2014 - 05:21 | 5413737 The Wedge
The Wedge's picture

What the fuck are you babbling about?

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:34 | 5412818 Socratic Dog
Socratic Dog's picture

Bit him on the shin.  I like that.  He was probably trying to bite the steel cap of his boot, missed, got his shin instead.  I bit a fella on his closed fist one time.  Lost two teeth, somehow. 

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:13 | 5412758 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

He should be more careful. My Mommy taught me you can catch ebola from a toilet seat.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:26 | 5412801 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Our mommy said put a layer of TP between you and the bad, bad ebola man.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:04 | 5412912 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

Speaking of "the law"...I know you love these stories from Fla ;-)

Florida consistently generates great stories. It's like America Concentrate drink mix - just add alcohol.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:18 | 5412947 nmewn
nmewn's picture

We've always been a little...odd...eclectic.

Some might even say weird ;-)

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 22:51 | 5413055 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Human sump pump. Wonders never cease.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:58 | 5412897 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Damn you.

Beat me to the chicken story.

How I wish a white guy said that...lol.

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 20:50 | 5412679 NoVa
NoVa's picture

here in NoVa, go Gillespie.

Warner lost for Govoner previously, but today, the baggy old Fugly women who vote Obola like him .  He may win - 

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:13 | 5412760 NoVa
NoVa's picture

hey - 

 why the down vote?

Just being honest here - I voted at 11:30 am today.  

 

Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:25 | 5412798 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Where's your purple finger as proof? (See my comment and image above for reference.)

<At least give me pictures or it never happened.>

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!