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All You Need To Know About The Bank Market-Rigging Settlements In 34 Words

Tyler Durden's picture




 

One can read the volumes of available literature explaining everything that has transpired since the first Libor manipulation became public, then proceeding to FX, then gold and so on (next up E-minis, Treasurys, options and so on) or one can just read these 34 words which explain everything one needs to know.

"The banks have been allowed to investigate themselves," one source familiar with the investigation told Reuters. "The investigated decide what they want to investigate, what they admit to, and how much they will pay."

With that we saved you days of reading. And now waste the time by buying the rigged market at 11:00 am and selling it at 11:30 am every day and outperform 98% of all hedge funds.

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Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:33 | 5440981 ghostzapper
ghostzapper's picture

Par for the course and nobody should be surprised by this. 

Which PD will die first and when is still the question.  Until then they can play this video game into perpetuity perhaps. 

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:34 | 5440988 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

And in 2 words: rigged casino

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:43 | 5440993 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

 

If selected as Fed Chair, my first four orders of business are...

  1. NO MORE HIDE THE SAUSAGE: Open the Fed's books, records, trading
    activities, and member-bank ownership to independent audit and open
    access to the public via real-time internet portal
  2. NO MORE FOX GUARDING THE HEN HOUSE: Stop having The Fed be responsible for regulating the very same banks that own and control it
  3. NO MORE WATERING DOWN THE CURRENCY: Adopt a 0% inflation target
  4. NO MORE SOCIALIZING LOSSES: Bring back Glass-Steagall limitations for all member banks

Of course, I would be suicided-by-nailgun before the end of my first day.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 15:26 | 5441213 macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

...... and 40% of the sheep think Barry is wonderful.  They KNOW he's working for them and not those fat cat bankers. If it wasn't for (the internet, the Repubs, Fox, the Tea Party, the other 60%) he'd be doing a lot better.  He's got to do a better job of selling his policies so those stupid sheeple will get with the program.

Just ask John Gruber

 

Bra ha ha ha

 

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 17:51 | 5441759 Paveway IV
Paveway IV's picture

I, for one, am GLAD the banks are investigating themselves. Why the hell should my taxes get wasted on another charade of a fake justice department investigation that will find the exact same thing: nothing? The Justice Department is OWNED by the banks. Pretending that it's not will not change the outcome.

Best to cut out the middle-man - ME - and just have the banks do a thorough investigation to find a few minor violations they neither admit nor deny. A $10K fine should shut the proles up long enough so the banks can continue what they do best.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 17:16 | 5441355 Ferrari
Ferrari's picture

Hedgless, I very much like your thinking most of the time, but aren't you suggesting something akin to reforming the Mafia into an honest enterprise? The Criminal Caste on High cannot be reformed. The whole system needs to go.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 15:54 | 5441322 Ferrari
Ferrari's picture

I couldn't agree more, but what still amazes me is the public face these "people" front. The banks, Holder, congress, et al, they can always put their high crimes into corporate doublethink. I mean, rather than just say, "Fuck it. We make the rules" or "Laws are for the little people," they keep on churning out this endless, bald obfuscation. Obviously, getting back to your point, only lying sociopaths need apply to be in that club.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:32 | 5440983 madbraz
madbraz's picture

well done Rubin and Summers, your master plan is working to perfection.

 

one question, when everyone figures this out (and they will) and the only parties left "trading" are the riggers themselves, what next?

 

a merger between the FED and the primary dealers, followed by an IPO?  Will the riggers themselves rig their own IPO?  But if they are the only ones trading it, are they both the "rigger" and the muppet?

 

my head is going to explode

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:39 | 5441004 pods
pods's picture

Banker 1: So what do you want to do tonight?

Banker 2:  Anything I want.

Banker 1: Good idea, let's go Donkey Punch some muppets.

pods

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:34 | 5440991 oddjob
oddjob's picture

Same shit applies to law enforcement and corrupt governments. That giant fucking boot is coming for your neck.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 15:22 | 5441195 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Can I get my deposit back on enrolling in the CFA course? Anyone? help!

There's a dump truck just pulled up outside my house with mountains of CFA course books and study notes in it..

I sure could do with the cash so as to invest in the 11am strategy...

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:34 | 5440992 aliki
aliki's picture

well, greenspan is on record in david faber's "house of cards" that they "thought the banks would police themselves" with regards to subprime.

we've now gone completely bat-shit, stupid with these latest comments outta the FOMC:

KOCHERLAKOTA DOESN'T SEE INFLATION BACK AT 2% UNTIL 2018 … KOCHERLAKOTA'S REMARKS IN TEXT LARGELY REPEATS NOV. 5 SPEECH … KOCHERLAKOTA: DON'T RAISE RATES WHILE INFLATION OUTLOOK SUB 2%

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:36 | 5440995 aliki
aliki's picture

wondering at what point the market simply loses confidence in the fed ... that day should be friggin fun

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:36 | 5440997 pods
pods's picture

They just took that quote from the Wiki article on "regulatory capture."

pods

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:39 | 5441005 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

What do you think the central banks are conspiring about now that the CME allows them to participate?

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:40 | 5441009 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

Who's the Daddy?

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:40 | 5441010 saints51
saints51's picture

So I can kill someone, call the police, and inform the local authorities to not worry as i will investigate the crime I committed.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:52 | 5441048 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

And then you decide the amount of your fine, without admitting or denying anything.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:52 | 5441052 saints51
saints51's picture

$1

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 15:44 | 5441284 GoldenGeezer
GoldenGeezer's picture

That's too much if you knocked off a banker.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:43 | 5441012 aliki
aliki's picture

had to check my calendar and make sure it said that we were in the year 2014 when i saw kocherlakota's comments

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:55 | 5441064 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Kocherlakota is Kuroda's doppelganger - there to jawbone dovishly on any 1 point (not even 1%) drop- post-coitus climax will be painful.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:55 | 5441035 Jonathan Equine...
Jonathan Equine Phallus's picture

Its almost as if a cabal of thieves have been appointed to run the Fed, Treasury, IRS, CFTC, FDIC, Commerce, OMB, Office Trade Rep, Nat Econ Council, Council of Economic Advisors, FTC, and others.  Almost as if there's a revolving door between these agencies, Goldman Sachs, the CFR, and a handful of other organizations.

I'll leave it to the hopelessly curious to hop on wiki and discover 'who' has overwhelmingly lead these agencies under both Bush and Obama - and probably back to Clinton. It is verboden to speak of, just as it is verboden to wonder at 'who' runs most of the TV news channels, facebook, google, wikipedia, reddit, etc. etc.

a little dated, but...

A List of Goldman Sachs People in the Obama Government: Names Attached to the Giant Squid’s Tentacles
Wed, 11/12/2014 - 15:11 | 5441140 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Thanks Francis ....

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:50 | 5441042 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Of the Banks, by the Banks, for the Banks."

Beelzebub bless the New Rome.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:51 | 5441049 Pseudonymous
Pseudonymous's picture

Thank you Tyler! This is what I was looking for.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 14:55 | 5441060 EemieMeanieMinieMoe
EemieMeanieMinieMoe's picture

Endeavor to persevere.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsL6mKxtOlQ

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 15:34 | 5441236 WTFRLY
WTFRLY's picture

ermagherd

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 15:43 | 5441274 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Like most of you i was antagonistic towards the banks and then it 'all changed', i had a prefrontal leucotomy. It works! I am now sheep.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 15:43 | 5441275 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

How can a fine be punishment when it’s paid in the same fiat currency that was first counterfeited and then stolen as the crime itself? This is tantamount to settling uber-short commodity account defaults and delivery claims in currency rather than physical commodities, which certainly will be coming to the gold and silver futures markets one day too.

The expression is, “Let the punishment fit the crime”, not, “Let the punishment be the crime”.

If you really want to punish them, make them pay all their fines in physical gold, silver, and oil or go to jail.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 15:48 | 5441298 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Memo to myself:
Destroy all evidence, check.
Stick to my story, check.
Deny and stonewall, check.
Silence and or eliminate all witnesses, check.

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 16:46 | 5441546 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Its called "divine rights".

Its based on the principle that those WHOLE HOLD THE DESTINIES of the world in their fragile but greedy hands, deserve treatment different from those others who are the unwashed. "The Laws are made to be applied to the outsiders, the unwashed, not to us the elites."

Whats new about people who wear purple since the beginnings of the ancient silk road and who sing : to deserve to wear silken purple you have to be part of the Happy Few, the initiated, the INSIDERS of the Imperial construct. Sons of Caesar.

Ask Judge Scalia, the Man of the hanging chad, of the right for Potus to say we need laws of exception to protect us from the Barbarian terrorist; (our own creation who has gone Frankenstein on us).

We the Patriots, sanctified by his approval of our decrees, he is the iconic scion of that betrayal at the highest judicial level. Like the Warren Commission before him. 

A nation who cherises the gun and not the law has its route 66 traced out.

Thats Caesar's legacy to his fellow Oligarchs of successive generations. 

 

Thu, 11/13/2014 - 05:37 | 5443274 localizer
localizer's picture

given the complicated technical and financial nature of the probe, lawyers and consultants employed by banks have done much of the actual investigative work.


Isn't this just wonderful? So essentially the "regulators" are no longer even qualified to do actual investigative work... 

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