This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
JaMie DiMoN: ONe BiG BaD APPLe…AMoNG MaNY
- advertisements -
Contact Information:
Tips: tips [ at ] zerohedge.com
General: info [ at ] zerohedge.com
Legal: legal [ at ] zerohedge.com
Advertising: ads [ at ] zerohedge.com
Abuse/Complaints: abuse [ at ] zerohedge.com
Suggested Reading:
Make sure to read our "How To [Read/Tip Off] Zero Hedge Without Attracting The Interest Of [Human Resources/The Treasury/Black Helicopters]" Guide
It would be very wise of you to study our disclaimer, our privacy policy and our (non)policy on conflicts / full disclosure. Here's our Cookie Policy.
it's a great day for writing on buzzard's bay. a heavy mist hath descended over the environs blurring everything into a haze of grey. sea and sky are no doubt still fixed in their respective realms; and i'm sure they're right now mated somewhere off in the horizon, where beginning has no end; but if you can't see the point of intersection, how can you be sure of it's existence? for those cursed to consistently ponder over existence, the mist is a shroud where we best perceive things seen -- as if through a glass darkly. and with experience and wisdom unfettered by the empirical demands of our five senses we come to know that that point in space where sea and sky meet are relative to your perception at the point in space at which you now sit. and if one were able to mark the point and travel to it, the mated place of sea and sky would expand again in the same proportion, ever teasing your senses into resting on some notion of fixity or permanence.
there is no such place or permanence; and then there is God Almighty. shame on me for doing good for me and so often sinning carelessly; for i at a certain point concluded there was nothing in me that would or could ever impress The Everlasting. and so i settled on simple worship.
"the fool says in his heart, 'there is no God'." selah.
it is no secret that janus has his vices. the physical world isn't imaginary, only temporary; and though that it weren't i wouldn't be so firmly rooted in time, bound within this mortal foil so weak to hunger and appetites and cravings. and so, shortly after sating the lust for caffeine and nicotine i got online to indulge another. again, shame on me, but i have this weakness for the daily mail. i know that it's not the paris review of books or anything, and for the sake of brevity i'll forego a detailed justification for my near daily visit to this british tabloid.
there were some high-points in recent days:
happily, jennifer lawerence had a 'wardrobe malfunction'; and she did by which confirm for janus that, yes, this girl is blessed with superlative breasts...beautiful, exquisite breasts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSUc7fZfqRg
from 'that' side, they look almost exactly how i hoped they would; and the nipples appear to be of the very highest order...absolutely first rate, ms. lawerence. but, ya know, you can't 'really' know' if you're dealing with world-class breasts until you 'know'.
and then there was this model, candice swanepol (or something like that); it seemed she and her friends were off for a delightful frolic on an edenic beach -- and there just happened to be some camera men in perfect position to capture it all. janus sure does love 'hard' news.
ahhhh, and then there's poor lil taylor swift...such a pretty, pretty lil songbird chirping out to a lonely and despondent world. i saw her dressed in this sweet lil sixties' mini and did but swoon. and then it struck me as a solid and definite probability: this girl needs a pregnancy! and so janus has decided to give it to her. i reckon i'll knock her up proper-like, we two bathed in the milky light of a full moon.
and so, WB, with your help, a little experience and my window shopping on the daily mail, i've this day decided to be my own pimp, servicing only one client, janus.
and then there was this other story that today appeared from without the hazy ether of amorican imbecility. instead of posting the link, i'll rewrite the news item in my own words, and in a very janus way.
dateline: cambridge, massachusetts (swarming hive of cultural termites, hapless communists and hopeless one-worlders), in the Year of our Lord, 2014, 11/12.
an angry 'feminist' from among the many tenured hags haunting the halls of that once Christian institution has been up to no good. i've got half a mind to lecture the knickers offa that sassy miss missy.
in a rare deviation from the over-arching objective to invert the innate human understanding of what is and what is not feminine by a ceaseless process of propaganda and 're-education', miss missy has wrenched an awful skeleton from dixie's dark past.
seems my brothers in louisiana were attempting to ensure that nitwits couldn't vote for representatives in a republic structured according to a constitution...inconceivable, i know. the injustice of it all was searing a hole through my very soul, and then i almost combusted in a plume of indignation when she revealed that her primo harvard co-eds couldn't even pass the thing. what hope, therefore, for the po lil negro in the cane-field shacks of the bayou?
ahhh, but, someone made the mistake of posting the test itself. and after breezing through it janus fell flummoxed to three inescapable realities: 1) harvard co-eds are nitwits that shouldn't be permitted the vote. 2) the reason louisana is such a happy place is due to their intolerance of unfeminine feminists. 3) janus needs to immediately set to work on a nation-wide 'literacy' test to save this constitutional republic from the termites in cambridge.
{the preceeding bit of janus journalism may not be rebroadcast or retransmitted without the express written permission of janus-ecumenical-industries, inc.}
but i will not make the world wait a second longer; the test is now complete and here are the questions that will determine just who is and who is not permitted to go out in early november hanging chad:
1) if given the option, would you prefer to play with the ass of erin heatherton or kim kardashian?
2) what is the air-speed of a laden swallow?
3) are you afraid of CO2?
4) what is the second derivative of the following equation?: X4+Y3-2X+6. and in the space below, graph the first derivative in a simple bi-axial chart.
5) define the word 'irony' without using it.
6) in Doestoevsky's magnum opus we are treated to two scenes of philosophical/theological transcendence. describe in your own words the relevance of ivan's nightmare and the grand inquisitor to themes both antique and contemporary, and then demonstrate their significance to the verdict at dimitri's trial.
7) do you believe the following statement to be true?: girls can throw a football just as good as any boys.
8) are all cops racists?
9) do your lips move when you read traffic signs?
10) can you read traffic signs?
11) in the space below, list all your daily medications:
12) what's the first word that comes to mind when someone mentions the name 'anderson cooper'?
13) do you collect trinkets and/or nick-nacks?
14) what is the difference betwixt its & it's?
15) define the term "medium of exchange" and explain your understanding of its manipulation and use in world commerce. also, describe how its fluctuation and management effect your life.
16) does a bear shit in the woods?
17) how many hours of television do you watch each week?
18) mayonnaise or miracle-whip?
19) cream or creamer?
20) margarine or butter?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oy39Uocw8LU
buttah,
janus
tldr masturbation
The latest round of prosecutorial ass licking of criminal banksters comes in the same week that it is announced that Loretta Lynch is nominated to be AG.
Lynch, like Holder, is considered an expert at coming up with humdrum explanations of why it is impossible to prosecute people like Dimon.
All I will say after persung the complete and utter horseshit spewed by the bankster asslickers, is it is certainly not something Elliot Spitzer would ever agree with.
And he certainly paid the price for it.
What would happen if the government said we are going to seek an indictment of JPM based upon RICO unless the Board removes Jamie Dimon immediately. I think Hank Greenberg knows. And who would argue that JPM, with all the $billions in criminal fines for numerous violations of different laws, is not a racketeering enterprise? Michael Millken?
where's the outrage? i'll tell you where it is; its quietly biding its time, watching, understanding that outrage depends on expecting the old normal, which is gone. when the new normal has festered long enough, this zit will pop, and we'll be in robespierre's france, looking for the guilty under every stone. god help us all then.
There is still a great deal of voluntary ignorance among the human beans in the land of the 'free'.
In the latest issue of Vanity Fair, Bankers are number 4 instead of number 1 in the minds of people when asked the question:
"Who are the Greediest?"
Lobbyists, Lawyers, and agents are considered more avaricious than Bankers.
With this kind of idiocy, how can any change be expected??
The Dimons of this world have managed to hide behind some no doubt greedy folk, but for the people to buy it, is outrageous.
What can you expect from readers of Vanity Fair? Isn't that a rag for bankster wives?
Whenever it arrives for the GF, I open it up to a page with Ralph Lauren's selfies on it and eviserate his egomaniacal face.
Please don't denigrate the character of Matthew "Sport" Higgins with the likes of the maggot from JPM!
Jamie gives any other pimp a good name!!!!
the review of that film came under the title, Politics and Pimp behavior. He wanted to shoot a politician, but he shot another pimp instead. then life imitated ART, Hinckley wrote to Jodie Foster, and he shot Ronald Reagan. i was thinking before i saw this, how guys like Dimon do the politicians work for them, so when a bit of a problem arises, the AGs often look the other way. and corporations like Microsoft are run like government agencies. what's fascinating is the films happy ending. cinema is another government agency you see.
what can you learn about business from pimps and drug dealers?
http://www.covert.co.nr
Brilliant WB. Lots of things in life can be connected to things created by Scorcese.
Scorcese said recently he wasn't sure that film is an art. i characterize Raging Bull as Cinematic torture. soft music, comfortable seat, then WHAM SLAM. more soft music. when you try to define him, you come up with a very different approach than say Clint Eastwood, who really wants the John Ford deal, (lots of Oscars and the right to define the American middle in cultural and political terms) though neither are overtly political, the character of De Niro is never going to be confused with Fonda's Wyatt Earp, or Eastwood's Dirty Harry, (he didn't direct that part, but he projects the role) my feeling is thats Scorcese best work is when he drifts away from life as art (his documentary style gangster films) and into the dreaminess of something like the Last Temptation, or the artiness of his Cape Fear remake. in the middle somewhere is Aviator, a film which relies on art while it denies the premise.
The Use of Patsies in the Boston Marathon Bombing:
http://winteractionables.com/?p=16397
How much for the Christmas Prints?
.
.
banzai7institute@gmail.com
William, I've all but given up on commenting on ZH, but I will post this one for you. I really enjoy your photography and your satirical graphics, they are hysterical brother. Keep it up. Cheers to you from the Communist State of Canada.
Obama and Holder love you, but they love their bankers more.
its really a question, when push comes to shove are we going to take the English or the French approach to revolution? The English kept their artistocracy, the French lopped off a few heads, (a few too many) Then there weren't many bankers in the Bastille i guess. The Brits put a lot of people in prison (debtors prison) and shipped a bunch more to Australia, (we're fresh out of large island continents). they were running the colonies like a penal colony as well. i would say French, but the US seems to favor the Brits in all things, or maybe that's just the media and their love of celebrity whores, the equivalent of our royal family. but then they (the French) always cut off a few too many heads. very unpleasant stuff.