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Jamie Dimon's Daughter Is Asking You For A Favor
After the smashing success of #AskJPMorgan comes this:
We know our readers will be delighted to help her, although one wonders: perhaps she should just call her dad?
Because, well, you know...
* * *
Well that didn't take long...Ms. Dimon deleted the Tweet...
It appears the RFP for "scams, crimes, or hazards" has expired. Perhaps young Ms. Dimon did not get the "proactive" response she was hoping for?
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Hahahaha! Guess her password must have been easy to figure out. My guess is that her Twitter password was "I <3 the cock".
scam? criminal?
answer: who's your daddy!?
That's why she is richer than you.
Here’s another nail in the petro-dollar’s coffin…
Turkey and Russia agree to boost payments in national currencies.
Looney
http://sputniknews.com/business/20141126/1015188788.html
P.S. Indian Ambassador to Russia: India, Russia to Benefit From Trading in National Currencies
http://sputniknews.com/business/20140923/193202038.html
That is one dumb chick. What was she thinking? Ah, I'm sure she'll meet a nice Nigerian Prince or something. Daddy will be so proud of her.
...Tell Ms Dimon to reveal the NWO's pre arranged plan in Ferguson.
May save her own neck from the inevitable guilotine.
Laura,
"First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you will see clearly enough to remove the speck from your brother's eye." - Matthew 7:5
+1 shark
Daddy must be running out of "business" ideas.
Any evidence of crimes taken to her will never be heard or seen - this is the reason for the tweet!
Fuck Her Right In The Pussy!
Awesome username
cant this stupido just shut up?
doesnt she understand her father is just expandable ???
do you really believe ZH will pick on the rest of the team? i am sure they are busy doing stupid things just outside of MSM ...
stupidity really gets to me ... yeah well, cest la vie
Surely this is a joke right??? Hard times for The Onion.
She's still a "journalist" looking for tips though... nice...
She thinks it's hard to tell daddy why she's still single at Thanksgiving... but I wonder if it's even harder for daddy to tell daughter she's dumber than him because she makes less?
This is too funny!! All she needs to do is start with the Boards of JP Morgan, Goldman Sachs, Citibank etc etc, and work her way down the list.
BTW, Laura, rremember to place Dad at the very top of the list.
IS THIS AN ONION PIECE???
Here is her email. I sent her a message:
laura.a.dimon@gmail.com
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDhRBkGesLQ
Isn't she PRECIOUS???
Tweet deleted!!!. Probably she got what she wanted from her "Dad".
some of her best work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
http://www.thedailybeast.com/witw/articles/2013/04/27/the-last-office-ta...
Not going to lie, I could likely find someone on Reddit or write something deeper penetrating about the socioeconomic impact of pooping on the Patriarchy. It may also involve a dick. I'm going to wager her editor likely made her do this copy as a career limiting move, since she was promtly canned after doing this; knowing full well her brand name would get her rehired and become another EiC's problem.
This copy also lacked a dick, so I'll dick it up by saying she badly needs to buy Mandy, Barb or anyone, a fucking coffee and figure her shit out.
"That is one dumb chick. What was she thinking? Ah, I'm sure she'll meet a nice Nigerian Prince or something. Daddy will be so proud of her."
Never stick it in the crazy. Not even if you have Nigerian citizenship.
Wordz of Wisdom men, wordz of Wisdom!
Reddit is mainstream. Try 4chan.
Is she retarded or does she think we are the retards?
April Fool’s ?
Huge crimes underway as we speak at:
33 Liberty St.
New York, NY 10045
Please arrest all occupants who are not janitors.
Screw everything and screw you!
Buy Bitcoin!!
I think they call it...projection
Obi Wan FONESTAR...
YOU are our only hope...
(Is that ONE 'R' or two? 'ARE ARE', or 'OUR OUR'. or 'ARH ARH'? I forget the name of the weird Asian guy they collectively worship. Tamagushi or Fukushima or Satoshi or something.).
His name was... His name was...
Final Jepoardy answer: A poster who was derided with the nickname 'Cheesepope' on Zerohedge recently made a 'comeback' by attempting to pose as a Japanese investor in a digital currency scheme. He was outed again as a schill for the bond-note exchanges globally, and disappeared for a time; only to re-appear with a different moniker (one of 20 different aliases he might attempt to use). He is also the only blog poster in history to try to use two female first names as an avatar, while proudly stating that he is; in fact; a male.
(Raises hand, waving furiously, and exclaiming 'FRANCIS MARION'!)
Alex Trebeck, trying to look seriously at the contestant (and completely losing it in total hilarity), struggles to try to gain his composure. "I'm sorry. Your answer wasn't phrased in the manner of a question." The contestant replies, "What the FUCK does THAT mean, you asshole? My 'Answer' was a fucking ANSWER, you short asswiping little pussified cocksucking Canadian wimp! Of COURSE it wasn't a fucking QUESTION!"
Alex takes control, saving the last 30 seconds of the broadcast.
"No, I'm sorry. The correct question is, 'Who is Jamie Laura?'".
Listen you dumb cunt....
awhhh forget it.
I'd Tweet that.
As long as you flip her face down first.
Tomorrow will be a very awkward day for her when she has to stare the criminal at the dinner table in the face.
It is so sad that she is so sheltered.
Daddy called Google and told them to delete all the unwanted emails. No really, that likely already happened.
It may have been daddy's idea. Something like daddy throwing the idealistic daughter to the wolves to show her how people "really" are and toughen her up some. Once she starts hating people he'll take her in, give her a cushy spot, and show her the ins and outs.
Which is why we should mount a twitter campaign to break her from the matrix first. No outright trolling, try to lay off the snide and snarky remarks (I know, that's tough,) and big doses of cold hard truth backed with lots of facts and chart porn.
Her Twitter page is NOT DISABLED.
https://twitter.com/LauraDimon
Click on this link.
No.
Her twitter POST is disabled. Reading is fundamental.
i scrolled through because, well, i'd bang her -- hard, and for quite a while. but as janus was strollin through those twitterings of the raven-tressed doyenne spawn of everyone's favorite banker, something off knocked stiff against my shin.
Laura Dimon @LauraDimon · Nov 23it's not rocket surgery
a blonde couldn't have done better..."rocket surgery"...not your finest moment, but no doubt one of your most blondest of moments, ms. dimon. fret not, my dear; janus has no interest in anal...but let's all hope you're flexible.
tell daddy not to wait up!
laura, let's you and janus play rocket-doctor. "nurse, i have a strange swell in my lower abdominal region! bring the zero-gravity suction-mechanism stat!"
xoxo,
janus
that was funny
Daddy hates competition?
Daddy wants to get in on the scam?
Daddy curious to which scams are well-known and which are still hidden?
Just the tip?
Charles Manson is not single this Thanksgiving. What's this chick's problem?
I really wouldn't be surprised if she was so oblivious to the obvious, and thought everything was peaches and bad guys only wear rags on their head and live in the sand, etc.
Nah, she probably thinks the "real bad" guys are those who wear rags on their body.
Maybe she can fix this too while she's at it...
In All Her Glory, USSA the home of the Free Sh*t Army
One of the last images is really telling of our youth and their penchant for instant gratification. They lack the maturity to plan, implement and enjoy the fruits of their labor.
DaddyO
It's not easy picking the right time to join up with your cronies and trash a liquor store. They're probably enjoying the "fruits" of their "labour" right now. ( Along with many more fruits from other people's labours ...)
Laura:
The entire United States Government is a scam, crime, and hazard to the morals of every American...
You need to pull your head out of your ass along with the rest of your generation right now, for the suffering you will encounter in the near future, has no comparison.
Start with your daddy's rolodex. Every name in there ought to give you multiple leads
Every name on there is an executable lead.
Right? She couldn't just, psssst, Dad?
Well I clicked on Tyler's link. It says that the page does not exist. So I typed in @Laura Dimon.
It sent me to her page. So they are not allowing click throughs from Zerohedge.
But here is the beauty...
She published her email address.
Here it is.
Send tips to laura.a.dimon@gmail.com.
Enjoy.
I emailed her a link to this page.
So should you.
Just what makes you believe that I have not?
Fuck Chase Bank. They stole $4000 from me.
Edit bad address. Going back to the twitter page.
Edit Sent...No periods.
good man, yourself, TT.
Maybe she and her Daddy are looking for partnership opportunities in other industries, uh.... rackets.
Is this some sign of sheer terror comming from the 0.01% now that they KNOW the end is here?
She needs to hook up with the other most empty headed douchebag in the world and most over paid. Chelsea Gorrilla face
Heres a scam, suxk my dick bitch!
69? No baby, we gonna 68 and I'll owe you one.
The old man was born a goy not sure about now. The wife is tribe. The daughter needs to buy her dad a nail gun for Christmas.
Hey Laura- Here's one you can check out- it's called the Federal Reserve and it operates a private syndicate of quazi legal / illegal banking operations based both in the US and abroad.
The activities of this institution have been suspect since inception (1913 in case you were wondering).
Oh and while you're at it look into the whole world wide Central Bank System managed by the BIS. You'll find the FED and the BIS are closely related which then raises some, shall we say 'uncomfortable' U.S. Constituional questions (like who really controls the coinage and managemnt of the US money supply- a little hint, it's not congress).
This should keep you busy for a while. Let us know what you come up with.
Thanks in advance from all of us at ZeroHedge.
Don't forget the CFR. Man, if the walls could speak...
Given that Laura has almost assuredly benefitted from her father's financial crimes; she herself could probably be charged with "receiving stolen property."
It's lucky they have civil forfeiture laws on the books then. Though not sure the angry pitchfork-weilding mob would settle for that.
Mens Rea.
She's probably naive enough to believe that her daddy is an upright and outstanding gentleman. I doubt she has a guilty mind on this, or even knowledge.
Not that it would matter to the torches and pitchforks crowd.
You forgot to mention the Guillotines.
They are having a Chase Bank special at Guillotines~R~Us. Yeah...It's 50% off on Black Friday.
Sharpening my steel blade. Yes. I am sharpening my steel blade.
TMI
The FED may be just the tip of the iceberg. Try this essay out if you are not prone to nightmares.
http://theftbydeception.blogspot.com/2010/02/bar-association-history-who...
Hey Laura,
And once you've chased down that Federal Reserve lead you can look into their inherent corruption that facilitates the criminal activity of their subsidiary banks...banks like your Dad's...allowing them to do things like this:
http://wallstreetonparade.com/
Senate Report: Scale of Wall Street Holdings Are “Unprecedented in U.S. History”By Pam Martens: November 25, 2014
Last Thursday, the U.S. Senate’s Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations, chaired by Senator Carl Levin, released an alarming 396-page report that details how Wall Street’s too-big-to-fail banks have quietly, and often stealthily through shell companies, gained ownership of a stunning amount of the nation’s critical industrial commodities like oil, aluminum, copper, natural gas, and even uranium. The report said the scale of these bank holdings “appears to be unprecedented in U.S. history.”Adding to the hubris of the situation, the Wall Street banks’ own regulator, the Federal Reserve, gave its blessing to this unprecedented and dangerous encroachment by banking interests into industrial commodity ownership and has effectively looked the other way as the banks moved into industrial commerce activities like owning pipelines and power plants.
Not a classy chick.
http://gawker.com/new-york-daily-news-hires-jamie-dimon-s-daughter-as-re...
I wonder if daddy himself called her to take it down or if he just had the lawyers handle it.
Fucking clueless.
She is probably gagging for a Nigerian prince by the looks of it. BBC!
don't know if it's true, but heard sputnik is a disinfo site.
just sayin...
Like Chelsea Clinton, I give her about 2 years at that post before she rotates to the next job, I bet it'll be a buyside in commods. Jamie even jokes about her attention to the Journalistic art.
Id prefer to see her new job cleaning commodes on the seaside.
I googled her pics...She's a dude
I can't believe some people are that fucking naive.
She's not naive. The real question is why does she ask? Because she already knows very well, maybe better than most.
I think the elites are now just taking the piss out of the rest of humanity.
the right way or anyway ?
Sotra on topic: http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2014-11-26/jpmorgan-data-breach-shows-need-for-global-crackdown-asic-says.html Guess the next step is to openly monitor everyones keystrokes and mouse clicks in the disguise to protect us from hackers.
Already done.
I EXPECT to see a LOT more cyber-crime in the future purely because 99.999% of the population don't have a clue. It is the new "A dog ate my homework" and it will be MILKED for every single cent and favour that can be extracted.
Computers aren't secure? THEN STOP USING COMPUTERS. You don't know how your computer works? You don't know how to hack? Then you will never know whether a hack was intended or unintended. You will never know if a hack has been fixed, changed or ignored, no matter how much money is thrown at it / privacy is given up for it etc.
I'll say it again: Hacking is the new "Dog ate my homework". As long as you believe it then you will see MOAR of it. The sucker will NOT be given an even break. Make sure that sucker isn't you.
Bill Black: The New York Times Thinks Jailing Banksters Would Cause a “Bind” #NakedCapitalism http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2014/11/bill-black-new-york-times-thinks-...
Bill Black for President.
Isn't that just so precious????
Your father is the fucking Adolf Hitler of fucking banking, and you want to try to do something for the little kids living in the concentration camps next to your mansion!!!!!
Ohhhhh god, the reckoning is going to be one violent bitch, when it sweeps over this delusional obligarchy!
She can ask her daddy where he got all that money he put in her bank account.
In other news...the KKK is asking citizens to report racist activity.
jezuz that's funny!
is dat raciss?
#uhhaveyoulookedatyourfather
LAURA DIMON IS NOT HOT !!!!
SHES A LAST RESORT GIRL YOU WOULD HOOK UP WITH IN A BAR WHEN YOUR DRUNK.
Nonsense, unless you're a male model and judge the world by an entirely different standard.
She's very cute, and young... Solid 8, anyway.
She may not yet have been entirely consumed by the Dark Side.
But either way, I like my ladies young and vaginally spry, you know?
I wouldnt even fuck her with your dick.....use to use this saying in highschool, still makes me laugh
Looks like little Laura fits the bill:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yDarQW7UZc
Frank Zappa: Jewish Princess
I want a nasty little Jewish PrincessWith long phony nails and a hairdo that rinses
A horny little Jewish Princess
With a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma
Lonely inside
Well, she can swallow my pride
I want a hairy little Jewish Princess
With a brand new nose, who knows where it goes
I want a steamy little Jewish Princess
With over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums
I don't want no troll
I just want a Yemenite hole
I want a darling little Jewish Princess
Who don't know shit about cooking and is arrogant looking
A vicious little Jewish Princess
To specifically happen with a ?-pee that's snapin'
All up inside I just want a princess to ride
Alright, back to the fop... everybody twist!
I want a funky little Jewish Princess
A grinder; a bumper, with a pre-moistened dumper
A brazen little Jewish Princess
With titanic tits, and sand-blasted zits
She can even be poor
So long as she does it with four on the floor (Vapor-lock)
I want a dainty little Jewish Princess
With a couple of sisters who can raise a few blisters
A fragile little Jewish Princess
With Romanian thighs, who weasels 'n' lies
For two or three nights
Won't someone send me a princess who bites
Won't someone send me a princess who bites
Won't someone send me a princess who bites
Won't someone send me a princess who bites
I prefer making love to a lady (ONE) and not fucking young girls.
Fucking her would be like fucking someone old enough to be my daughter. There is just something wrong with that.
Do you have any morals?
Relax big guy, its just a saying
Okay...yeah...too intense.
I promise i have morals, just a stupid thing me and my friends would do
Filthy fuckin' whore.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn-Cab0XRlw
Who cares what a cunt of a cunt wants. But for the record, i would like a pony.
Sadly, in her world her Father is a beacon of hope - he is doing "gods work".
The Shemitah cannot come soon enough:
"For instance, the five greatest economic crashes of the last 40 years – 1973, 1980, 1987, 2001 and 2008 – all occurred in Shemitah years – those God set apart as Sabbath years."
http://www.wnd.com/2014/09/get-ready-shemitah-begins-this-week/
I would give her a creampie tp smear in Daddy D's face.
Admin cunt password breach. Kidding.
Is Mr. Dimon cancer free yet? I want to know.
Cancer Free?
Hmmm...Maybe she will Tweet that....if that happens...
No self-respecting tumor would grow on that parasite.
This tumor has gang tats and a nasty meth habit. That means that it is incompetent, yet still dangerous and unpredictable.
Yeah, even cancer has to draw the line somewhere...
funny and right to the bone...
Jamie Dimon is a fucking cancer - on the entire human race.
Just hope the cunt dies in extreme agony, sooner or later.
Hahahahahahahahaa......
Says it all, really.
HOLDS UP MIRROR!
They don't have reflections.
I'm not sure what is more offensive, her stupidity or the fact that she expects others to do her job for her.
Guess that's what happens when your dad is the king of the welfare queens.
I haven't laughed that loud in a long time. Thanks...
At least she's hot so I won't have to keep the lights off and potentially stub my toe when I get up to piss afterwards.
Why get up?
I'm sure she could use some moar training in watersports. Hell, she could probably write an article about it... something like How I Learned to Love Gold(en showers), despite what auntie Blythe might say.
In fact, I would go so far as to say you are doing this "journalist," her "family," and all of Western literature a great disservice by not pissing on her.
She's not all that hot. Her face will look like leather in a few years. The mastiff here is better looking.
I'm guessing the three down-arrows are from Laura and her two fat ugly wing-chicks.
silly girl you don't have to look any further than your thanksgiving day table.
Enjoy the ham!
A jewish friend calls it pink salmon.
We'll enjoy the peas...
Get well fast, Jaime- so you can slap the shit out of your punk kid.....
This has got to be some sort of joke on the plebes. Us plebes...
Ms. Dimon,
I saw a young male, believed to be non-caucasian causing damage to a vehicle parked near a liquor store in Ferguson, MO the other day. From all appearances, he seemed to have taken a car key or some other metal object, and scratched the paint all along the passenger's side of the vehicle. The vehicle was a black Toyota sedan -- a 2005 Camry.
I appreciate your concern, and would enjoy hearing from you after you've had the opportunity to investigate.
Jon Corzine to follow suit:
"Have your savings been vaporized? Been robbed by shady characters with the help of a big Wall Street bank? I want to know! Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT now!"
" Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT now!"
Another number is "1-800-FUC-KYOU"
Of course you can always call 1-800-GET-EVEN.
I prefer that number.
Get to work Internetz. This should blow up nicely
I bet she gives lots of favors
...but it's like tossing a hot dog down a hallway.
Here we go folks...
Make it a good one, William. ;-)
First salvo on target...
Here is her email address...
Send it there. Make certain that she gets.
lauraadimon@gmail.com.
Yeah. Maybe there is something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving after all. This is gonna be fun.
In the unlikely event she reads this page...
How best to explain how unbelievably awesome and newsworthy it would be if she started tweeting "end the fed / break up the banks?"
She is too damned complicit and enjoys the fruits of her father's fraud.
Her father's manipulation of the Silver and Gold Markets have harmed many.
I believe that curiousity will deliver her to us...on a Silver Platter.
She will get far more than she bargained for,
That is the only hope that she will tweet Break up the Banks and End the Fed. But I seriously doubt it.
She does like "Social Issues". She is an idealist. Reality will deliver a rude awakening.
Unfortunately since she has been raised by a psychopath it will have left irreparable psychic damage at this point.
I am not counting on ever reading that tweet from her.
Edit. The above email's hyperlink is incorrect.
Try this one..
lauraadimon@gmail.com
Bix Weir...If you are reading this I just tweeted all three links to Laura.
JP Morgan: "Operation Silver Slam" http://www.roadtoroota.com/public/592.cfmJP Morgan Lawyer Exposes Corruption at JP Morgan, MF Global and the CFTC
http://www.roadtoroota.com/public/855.cfm $7,000/oz Silver and ONE Bank...maybe TWO! http://www.roadtoroota.com/public/94.cfm Furthermore I sent her the text of your email by email. I hope that she receives it and reads it.
You, Sir, are a damned genius.
Billy-7 is definitely a genius.
I can't see the whole picture
BECAUSE THE FUCKING SPONSORED FINANCIAL CONTENT IS IN THE WAY!!!
TYLERS PLEASE FIX THAT!!!
I've got a tip for you.
Counterfeiters are running a huge operation out of NY. Address is
Federal Reserve Bank of New York
33 Liberty Street
New York, NY 10045
+17,000,000,000,000
[Federal Reserve Notes, that is...]
It will be $18T before you know it. It's starting to look exponential.
That's when it crashes and burns. The real problem is it makes lousy toilet paper.