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Jamie Dimon's Daughter Is Asking You For A Favor
After the smashing success of #AskJPMorgan comes this:
We know our readers will be delighted to help her, although one wonders: perhaps she should just call her dad?
Because, well, you know...
* * *
Well that didn't take long...Ms. Dimon deleted the Tweet...
It appears the RFP for "scams, crimes, or hazards" has expired. Perhaps young Ms. Dimon did not get the "proactive" response she was hoping for?
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Silk is actually pretty soft and strong
I can use it before I spend it. It actually has a dual purpose of utility.
It does actually have some real value after all.
(I hope that you are reading this, Laura. I really do. Ever hear of a Stinkin' Lincoln?)
Yeah, easy for you to say but a lot of people out there are gonna get really upset when they have to rely on their credit card ...
(serve 'em right, I guess ...)
Sorry you'll have to think them up on your own time honey.
Come on folks, give Miss Laura a pass! Someone laced her weed. hehe
Priceless fail.
Maybe she wants to invest.
Laura, you stupid cunt, you must be joking. Your entire life around you is a scam.
I would start with your dad, fraudclosing on Americans , with fraudulent documents on loans he doesn't even own !!!
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=the+truman+show
starring Laura Dimon
Dads little muffin. Probably driving a new Porsche leased by the shareholders of jpm. Probably spending her nights in the bronx getting her yoo hoo stretched out by the brothers. Imagine what an entitled, little piglet she is.
YooHoo Stretching!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA. For some reason I see a chocolate flavored drink bottle of YooHoo yoohooing her yoohoo.
Poor kid. Go through her tweets and you will see what I mean.
If you were Mephistopheles, and you had a daughter, you would raise her to be in the dark about who you were, too.
She has also written a great article about defecating.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/witw/articles/2013/04/27/the-last-office-ta...
So, she has that goin' for her, too, which is nice!
"But for many women, the act of a bowel movement is enshrouded in fear and anxiety"
Outfuckingstanding. Truly.
Thanks for the link/find.
Write a story about shit. Ask people to report scams.
Someone(s)'s messing with her head and she's too naive to see it.
I've seen a fair bit of foolish journalism in my time. Never before did I think that perhaps the journalist was being punished. Here, just maybe ...
Interesting! I suppose that in the same vein as "He that smelt it, dealt it"...she must be completely full of shit and has exposive releases of said excreta to make even the proudest dude blush...
Jews are big into scatology for some reason. Even the most demure and refined.
I took your sage advice and did read her tweets. You were right. It is sad.
tweet deleted. lol
She posted her email..
lauraadimon@gmail.com
Edit...Fixed the hyperlink.
Tone deaf.
Is it a crime if I slap her chin with my ball sac....
It should keep her mouth shut for a long while....
I think she deleted it.
She can't be so callous, can she?
No need for further explanation: Try to investigate the Fed and your daddy's bank for a start ...
Tongue-eating parasites...
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/nature/tongue-parasite.html
Another disconnected entitlement princess with a misguided conscience looking for a clue in a world of deceit.
No, she's just mocking everybody. If she actually meant this, she's one step from a long, difficult period of treatment involving heavy medication and possibly confinement.
No TV for princess.
Dear Ms Dim-on(e),
Please kindly go fornicate yourself.
Yours very truly,
The goy
She's frightened that the family have missed a few that could be profitable!
Big up for Tyler.
The graph is the perfect retort.
(Although we know this has to be a fake or a hack. Just HAS to be.)
#AskJPM was not a fake.
One of the things I am thankful for this week is ZH (and all the laughs it brings me).
I'd hit it...
Me too.......as long as she's hand cuffed and gagged. The reason for the gagging is obvious, but if she is anything like her daddy, the cuffs are so she can't steal the lint out of my pockets.
Gagged with what? It does matter, yo.
Ms. Dimon,
Perhaps you can bring some justice to a scam that I have been helpless to aleviate. This particular one involves the snack cracker "Wheat Thins" sold by my local grocer. Having been a long-time consumer of these crackers and an individual on a fixed income, I am desperate for someone in a position of power to correct this injustice.
As recently as 3 years ago, I paid $2.59 for a 24 ounce box of Wheat Thins crackers. Just this morning, I stood in horror as the grocery store no longer carried 24 ounce boxes of Wheat Thins. My only choice was the 10 oz box or the 16 oz "Family Size" box. Now you can imagine my gasping shock of seeing the prices associated with these cracker boxes: the 10 oz box was $3.19, and the 16 oz "Family Size" was $4.79. What happened? Is there a cracker shortage? Is the box now edible? I double checked the ingredients, but as I suspected, there was no Foi Gras or pure saffron listed on the ingredients which may have contributed to the massive increase in price.
As I'm sure you'll agree, this is a SCAM. I commend you for your interest in helping to get our cracker crisis solved.
You must live in Ferguson, MO. There was, indeed, a cracker shortage there recently. The govt, in all of its might and glory alleviated that cracker shortage by calling in the National Guard and lots of extra po-po.
"I'm asking all you Goys to intermarry and destroy the White Race and also Christianity, the enemy of My People."
If you know of any crime's , scam's , etc. let me know 'cause my dad hates competition
... / is looking for hints / is curious to how much is no longer a secret ...
Selective amnesia must be genetic, or the botox has finally crawled into her brain, or a dig at her daddy?
You couldn't make this shit up, but good for Wednesday humour at zh. :)
Help end the Fed, Laura. It's literally the best thing you could do.
Reading throught this stupid little whore's tweets gives the impression that she is audiotioning for a news anchor spot. I am sure she will be prominently displayed on cnbc in the near future..........perhaps naked if their ratings don't improve.
If she can't find any she's not smart enough to do anything about them.... That must be where the Dim comes from in her new name (used to be Haauuk Moouuur Lyyyzzz). Eat shit bitch!
How many docs can you copy out of Daddy's office? Just focus on the communications from the Fed.
Ask dad, I'm sure he can run off more than a couple dozen off the top of his mind as he's the mastermind of many!
You don't have to be smart when you are that connected!
Hey Laura, here's a tip and very easy. Just go to wikipedia and read this:
Jamie Dimon
Occupation: Chairman, President & CEO of JPMorgan Chase
Board member of: Federal Reserve Bank of New York
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamie_Dimon
... and try to investigate it for a start.
#Really_DaddyIsACriminal
was the password "soooo ironical?"; no wait, it's "PERPETUATE_PLUTOCRACY"
Urdadsamassmurderer #Laura D
You think she's trolling, or she really doesn't know??
I'm waiting for someone to claim responsibility for hacking her twitter account.
"Daddy! They're saying mean things about me!! Call Barak and have the irs hurt them, daddy!" I hope that son of a bitch has a long, painful death. He is the most evil man in history since Hitler.
LMFAO
check out the honker on that bitch.
You should have seen it before her sweet 16; or are you talking about her father's honker?
her old nose (0:58)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGIM_yNzeUo
If you know of any scams, crimes, or hazards my dad will send over some "business associates" to take care of the problem.
She just wants to know who all the whistleblowers are so she can send them a nailgun for Christmas. Don't you know that any good crime lord gives a little something back from whatever they steal? It endears them with the community, and they become known as "philanthropists".
http://gawker.com/new-york-daily-news-hires-jamie-dimon-s-daughter-as-re...
She only needs to crawl up her father's ass, to find a scam...
Quantum of solace is a place in space which is very mysterious.
We think its in the eye of the beholden, the golden children, hope of tomorrow.
The beholden look for it in the eye of the beholder, the knowledgable with experience and savvy.
The randy look for it in enticing cleavage, the beyond randy and ready for handy-panties look for it in the midriff zone hoping its twilight time and taking-off a promise of no holds barred rapturous gasps.
The poor and hungry look for it in a handout.
The predatory looters look for it in a stolen credit card, or behind a broken window pane.
My Banker always hopes that what comes into my account exceeds what goes out.
Being the daughter of a guy who hits tennis balls all over his flat, must make you want to find a place where balls stay still and soft, where whispered tales chill the spine like a glass of chardonnay wine, where the clock stands still and the enthralling thrill is in the next moment that comes all at once like a deliverance.
Hanging on a thread so fragile, suspended in limbo, hoping against hope that never say never remains true forever, is a moment of solace in itself.
Now what did she really say ?
And, lets hope WB7 proves once again a photo-montage is better than a thousand words!
<< Would absolutely hit that all day every day like a hero
<< Would not hit
I would not even fuck that with your dick.
You do not need any social disease.
Oh, Mr. Banzai,
I admire your restraint.
You could have been very much more unkind.
And here is me thinking it was a fake...
Is it really possible that she is that clueless?
I'm...flabberghasted.
I held back.
Most of the time my kids have no idea what I am talking about ;-)
However, I sent enough for her to start asking some questions...
I hear that.
Generally, I'm not one to visit the sins of the fathers on the children, but in this case, she's (supposedly) a journalist and, ironically, very concerned about incarceration rates in the US.
With a public appeal for scandalous wrongdoings to report and rectify, this "journalist" has basically asked to be hit in the face with a 2 x 4.
Another 'justice warrior' hoisted by her own barrel sized petard.
She needs to confront her father at dinner tomorrow,
I am not holding back.
Maybe it is time that she is rudely awakened from her life of opulence which is directly attributable to the horrific suffering of MILLIONS OF OTHERS..
She is so deluded she is insane.
Did you read her tweets about social issues? Her dad is the CAUSE of the injustices. She is in absolute denial.
I would not hold back anything. It is well past time that she wakes up and faces reality.
Waking people is an act of love. It is "Tough Love". But it is love and kindness.
This is the Fourth Turning in action. Imagine the shock when the power broker boomers get whacked by their own children.
Except that they won't.
#stupid
I know what I'm doing this weekend!
The offspring of the wealthy are always on the lookout for something that allows them to say they are "working" or "have a job" but doesn't actually require any real "work" and if it has the patina of looking like it involves "thinking" or "Intelligence" , well, then, all the better!
She can't be this naive.
Can she?
"Eegads, did my butt itch last night or what?"...
http://www.zerohedge.com/sites/default/files/images/user3303/imageroot/2...
This is rich!
Happy Thanksgiving Peasants!!!!!!
I was in Key West last weekend. While there looking about for novelties, one of the T shirts I considered buying in the event I am ever asked to testify in front of the Senate Banking Committe reads:
Fuck You
You Fucking Fuck
hey - is Key West cool? Or too many old drunks who are more lame than entertaining? I've heard mixed reviews.... never been.
My thought is to check out the US virgin islands in Feb. but key west is a possibility.
Key west is cool AND too many old lame drunks.
Great music scene
Excellent Food
Many excellent galleries
Beautiful old houses and bed and breakfasts.
Stay off North Duval and the drunks really don't over-populate.
It is like being outside the US which is my ultimate goal.
Cool, what the hell, I'll check it out. I'll bring my favorite straw hat and a tattered copy of A Farewell to Arms.
Only problem, homos everywhere. Be careful when you bend down.
Wow! All for diversity I see? You might not fit in there.
My friend and I are a very hetero couple and we had a great time hanging out with everyone we met there.
I've been to both, though about 30 years ago: Key West was worth a day or two, maybe more, then (not sure now), but if you need to choose one, I'd suggest the Virgin Islands.
I spent about four months on St Thomas. St John, if I recall correctly, is about a 20-minute ferry ride from St Thomas, and is almost 2/3 national park.
"I spent about four months on St Thomas. St John, if I recall correctly, is about a 20-minute ferry ride from St Thomas..."
And they wandered in
From the city of St. John
Without a dime
Wearing coats that shined
Both red and green
Colors from their sunny island
From their boats of iron
They looked upon the promised land
Where surely life was sweet
On the rising tide
To New York City
Did they ride into the street
See the glory (see the...glory)
Of the royal scam
+10,000 Most appropriate!
Jamie's coat will continue to shine since neither this administration or the next 5 to come will prosecute one of these Fucking Fucks.
Wake Up Folks!
Too many queers in Key West. Just saying.
What if she just went on instagram and posted a photo of her birth canal?
Would Kramer talk about it?
Maybe she could root around Dad's computer and find the fucked up porn he is no doubt into.
She has led a sheltered life and is too cute to work the garbage dumps
in Calcutta or the ship salvaging yards in India so she may as well work
the streets as a yellow journalist with a Twitter account until she wants to become a Wall Street Hooker with a heart of gold just like her mother did. Of course, sugar daddy can pay for the cocaine, dental damns, and condoms until she can get on her back and pay her own bills like Chelsey Clinton did.
wow is this a fucken joke?
wow is this a fucken joke?
yes. her twitter account got hacked...
Honey trap
ROTFLMMAO ! NOW IVE seen it all ! ALL the young Mz Demon needs to do, is look at dear daddys derivative dirty deeds. How big is that JPIG ponzi castle these days? $90 TRILLION ?
OT:
http://cyber-berkut.org/en/
During two-day visit of Joseph Biden to Kiev on November 20-21 we gained access to confidential files of the State Department that had been stored on American delegation member’s mobile device.
Today we are ready to acquaint Ukrainian citizens, the USA and the world community with the documents that uncover the real volume and direction of American aid to “settle” the Ukrainian crisis…..
And the cover of an "investigative journalist," what credentials. What it's called again when those under investigation do the investigating? Surprised she didn't go to law school and get appointed to Federal appeals court for the southern district of NY.
At the dinner table tomorrow, "Dad, have you heard of ZeroHedge?"
"Yes, son. It used to be place of clear, thoutful discussion. However, sadly the site was recently overrun by some of the most insane people our world has to offer.
"Oh, so YOU own ZeroHedge now, Dad? Awesome!"
Wow, Son #2. I pay for ten years of college for you and you're listening skills have still yet to develop. Sadly, you're still a dunce.
I merely pointed out the amount of crazies on ZH has exploded exponentially, recently, that is all. Perhaps, they made ZH the homepage on the computers inmates use in mental institutions. I think that could explain the uptick.
Aw c'mon.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Look at all the laughs you provide.
Let me see if I have this correct...Hmmmm...
Is the fact, that our fictional host shot himself in the head and, then, enjoyed the implosions of all of those skyscrapers, insane?
Maybe, just maybe, then is that the type of crowd that he will attract?
I just don't know. I just do not believe that it is rational to expect anything different.
Is it you, then, who is being irrational by expecting anything different, Silver Doctor?
Have you watched the movie? Do you understand what this is about?
It will be brought down whether or not you like it...sane...or insane.
You have posted this more than once, on other threads. You must not have found the response you were looking for, so you try again and again.
Oh, and you are posting on Zerohedge. Same ZH age as me! Hey bro!
add me to that number. I must just be plain loco!
I like to think of myself as going sane in an insane world, thank you very little.
I'm more interested why 'Daddy' is sniffing his fingers?
She took offense when he sniffed his elbow.
And your surprised?
I am Jack's total lack of surprise.
Like a princess who has never left the castle.
And what's wrong just finding yourself a nice Jewish boy and settling down and having children already? It's not like your getting any younger!!!
Dear Laura,
I would like to stuff your turkey!
Yours truly,
HC
Me too... stuffed with a wad of C4, and lets lite the bitch off ... adios babe !
C4 requires a percussion shock to detonate.
It can burn but will not explode without that shock.
Sounds like a false flag sent up to root out opposition to her criminal father. Be careful when dealing with elitists, or children of elitists.
CC: NSA, FBI, CIA, CSI, CSI-MIAMI, CSI-FERGUSON, ATF, AT&T, A&P, MGM,M&M
HUH... just about everybody on the planet is opposed to those BANKING CUNTS ! no "rooting out" is necessary
I do not think so. LMAO.
All they'd have to do is look at the subscribers to Zerohedge, Le MetropoleCafe, RoadtoRoota, amongst many other websites.
They already have their list. Big fucking deal. Oooooh...I am on a list.
Hell I'd be disappointed if I were not.
"Vee vill puts you on zee list. Vee ahr vatching you. Sendz inz zee Scrutinizer. Vee vill make you talk. Paperz? Show me your paperz please."
Of all of the paranoid bullshit.
If you are not on a list by now, you're doing it wrong.
Daddy took the TBird away.
Gee, maybe she can hook up with John Gotti's kids and form an investigative team....
Hmmm...no, can't think of any...sorry...
Wow vooter, that was seriously funny. I would have said something like "Check your father's dirty laundry for a clue", but yours was far far better.
Hell. Vooter's response is the average citizen's response...although he posted that in jest.
I hope that she has an interesting Thanksgiving awakening.
this is Onion material!
(Temple X)
And now my dad, Jamie!
Thanks, honey. Go back to the van and spread 'em!
As you all know, we have had some recent success with the Goys fighting each other.
(cheers)
Ever since our Khazar ancestors opened the Portal to Hell, we have been given advanced technology by our god, Satan. We are almost at the conclusion of our Great Plan, to Rule the Earth and enslave all the people we do not liquidate. Our Agent in the White Hut has carefully followed our Orders.
America will soon be Ours! Yes, I know we have controlled its money and politics, but soon we will own All of It! Even now, our army of illegals is poised to exterminate YT, our number one Enemy. Ever since our ancestors whacked The Prince of Peace, we have fought with the Anglos. Soon, they will be no moar !The Body of their Saviour was stolen by his Followers! We have nothing to Fear! He won't be coming back!
In addition to the inventive financial instruments our god Satan has given to us, we now have a race-specific pathogen designed to knock out the Anglos!
(cheers)
We will be able to succeed where communism and fascism, our other inventions, have failed. The few brutes we allow to live will serve us gladly due to genetic modification!
Long Live Lucifer, Our Light-Bringer! Long Live Rothslandia!
(cheers).
Dear Laura -
shmoke some weed and spend half an hour watching this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE5Sw8qJ-g0
Then prepare to go down the rabbit hole of what a scam the Fed is, how it is controlled by a small number of old banking families who would probably look down their noses even at you...
http://www.globalresearch.ca/the-federal-reserve-cartel-the-eight-famili...
And work toward accepting that your Dad is a giant fucking douchebag cunt.
"...your dad is a giant fucking douchbag cunt" money whore monetary heroin junkie slimebucket fraudster Bankster goof.
There, fixed it.
Laura
Could you please look into the incredible corruption around the chartering of the Chemical Bank of New York and their massive "Bribery Fund"? I hear now-a-days the Chemical bank makes up the core of JPMorgan Chase...
and Laura, please check into the numerous "Swan Dives" off of the top of JPM HQ's around the world, not to metion how someone slits their wrists, and throat in a bathtub without a knife left around...I guess it went down the drian when the investigators unplugged the drain to see the body.
Can someone here remind me of how many million$ JPM donates to the PD each year?
Beggars belief!!
Talk about chutzpah.
I've been laughing too hysterically to even put words to this request!...
You know you come from the high end of the Tribe when you have a member in every family who has at least one politician/attorney, one journalist and last but no least one banker in each family!!!!
That's when you sit in the waiting room with your "nose in the air" with authority for that million dollar rhinoplasty that only "Dimons" can pay for!!!
So she fixed her J-Nose?
Thanks ZH! This one blog is worth the price of admission in itself. This is priceless!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMSKO-avEmA
meet Natalyia, Educated, Scholarly, Refined
She's hot. I'm a big fan.
Has Laura been snorting with Blythe Masters again? I mean, really! This has got to be drugs.
I hope her father dies!
I hope her father dies!
To die is one thing but to repent is really something.
Out of the mouth of babes.
I saw her once in New York when she was about 16 in full Typical Rebellious Teen mode with shorthorts, piercings (probably not real), sort of goth makeup. I doubt she knows the first thing about what really goes on at JPM or anywhere else in the real world.... not worth picking on, she's just young and dumb like most of us were at one time or another.
you are a kind man. (seriously).
Laura, i have some advice for you. Please take out the silver spoon from your mouth/ears just for a day.
Daddy, can I borrow the car?
Gimme a BJ
NO
No BJ, no car
OK. Damn, Dad, your dick tastes like shit.
Sorry Laura, I just remembered I loaned the car to your brother!
It would have been easy to say had she not been hired as a journalist.
Hmmm, kinda like the contractor's house that is the last one to get help.
She's definitely on the fast track to... SOMEWHERE. Started out at the bastion of journalism integrity known as the NYDAILYNEWS and now works for INSIDE EDITION.
She has a twitter account: https://twitter.com/lauradimon He most recent twattering: "True or False: every man should get punched at least once in his life."
More well thought out jocularity @ her facebook profile: https://www.facebook.com/laura.dimon.3
Sure beats writing about dead bodies being fished out of the East River.
Ms Dimon, I put a pie on my windowsill to cool, when I came back, it was gone! Please help me find my pie!