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Citi Pays $3.5 Billion To Keep Its Employees Out Of Jail For Yet Another Quarter

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Moments after Bank of America reported at today's Goldman financial conference that its Q4 trading revenues would be down both Q/Q and Y/Y, it was Citi's turn to warn that the current quarter will be the latest disaster in a long series of revenue disasters, with Q4 revenue said to drop 5% from a year ago, however, despite the drop, Citi would still see a "marginally profitable" quarter. Supposedly this means that a few hundred million shares of stock will have to be repurchased to give the optics that EPS is rising even as revenues continue to drop.

That was to be expected in a financially-engineered, centrally-planned world in which there is no institutional volume left, and all the rigged market levitation takes place on the back of negligible volumes by HFT algos, as well as stock buyback VWAP orders.

What, however, was a surprise, is that alongside the revenue warnings, Citi's CEO Corbat also announced yet another $2.7 billion in legal, related charges in 4Q, as well as another $800 million in repositioning expenses.

This simply means that for yet another quarter Citi will be charged with billions in recurring, non-one time "one-time, non-recurring" charges which will be dutifully added back to non-GAAP EPS by analysts at all the other banks (whose criminal employers are now engaged in the same racket with the US government).

But what it really means is that it cost Citi some $3.5 billion to keep its employees out of jail for yet another 3 months.

Confused? Then please re-read "$178 Billion In Government Kickbacks: Meet The World's Biggest Organized Crime Syndicate" where we explained a few very simple things:

Who, in simple numeric terms, is the world's biggest organized crime syndicate?

 

The answer, courtesy of a new report by the Boston Consulting Group,
which shows the transfer of some $178 billion in litigation costs into
the pockets of  government appartchiks in the past 6 years, is clear.

 

Banks.

 

 

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Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:27 | 5532493 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Used to be firms invested in physical assets

Now firms invest in lawyering activities

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:29 | 5532515 Newsboy
Newsboy's picture

"Whatever it takes..."

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:32 | 5532536 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

the new banking normal will be who can generate the most illicit revenue to keep from being indicted into oblivion, traditional commercial/investment banking be damned!

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:35 | 5532553 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

All we can hope for is mass banker "suicides"

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:49 | 5532618 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

A bargain at twice the price.  Spend other people's money to keep yourself out of jail?  No-brainer decision.

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:53 | 5532630 Obchelli
Obchelli's picture

I wonder  to whom they are paying all this fines cause I as a taxpayer for sure do not get cent of it

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 13:24 | 5533091 Colonel Walter ...
Colonel Walter E Kurtz's picture

Remember, a billion is a rounding error in the gubmints mind, and I am increasingly thinking the TBTF banksters have the same mindset.

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 15:23 | 5533674 Pie rre
Pie rre's picture
Banker dies after becoming impaled on railings in 60ft fall from central London home next door to John Lennon's former house

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2866973/Banker-dies-impaled-rail...

 

A woman, in her thirties, added: 'Even my five-year-old son saw and said "mummy, there's a dead banker." I think he's okay despite what he saw...

 

Wed, 12/10/2014 - 15:52 | 5537460 papaclop
papaclop's picture

People with too little conscience to be lawyers become bankers. The assholes need to be jailed like the punks they are, with little Jamie Dimon the first to go.

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 12:25 | 5532801 Notsobadwlad
Notsobadwlad's picture

The banks must believe that there is no profit in running an honest business.

Does this mean that ALL bankers are going to hell?

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 15:02 | 5533611 venturen
venturen's picture

bankers investing in politicans! It is pure genius...these fines are a complete slush fund!

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:27 | 5532498 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

keeping execs out of prison for committing banking fraud is just "part of the cost of doing business" in the new normal.  its not like C actually did anything NON-criminal to earn that money.  so, they give back some of their ill-gotten gains. 

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:28 | 5532512 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Citi better start stashing some of that 6000 year bubblicious gold in secret locations before they go belly up..... again.

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:28 | 5532513 Serfs Up
Serfs Up's picture

It's only electronic invisi-digits created out of nothing by one government cartel, given to Citi, and then handed back to a different branch of said government.

But, usefully, it helps to perpetuate the myth that US fiat currency has some value of some sort....I guess staying out of prison is valuable, so there is that.

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:30 | 5532523 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

We defrauded some folks....

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:52 | 5532633 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

ALL the folks and....each other!

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:33 | 5532545 richiebaby
richiebaby's picture

$2.7 Billion legal! If you put a banker on all fours with an attorney mounting him for each dollar, it would wrap around the world 1.5 times!

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:33 | 5532549 Panic Mode
Panic Mode's picture

So, 6000 years bubble ehhh?? You Willem dickhole.

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:37 | 5532561 fuu
fuu's picture

They seem to have been right about the defend USDJPY from 12/5/14. This $3,500,000,000 plus the 275,000,000 lost to the China Port Authority last week and it doesn't seem like a good year for the Citi bonus pool.

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:40 | 5532573 HandyCrapper
HandyCrapper's picture

How long can this last?

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:45 | 5532604 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

In theory?  Forever.  In reality?  Forever.

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 12:20 | 5532754 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

Historically, it can't last "forever" though. The "this time it's different" meme has pretty much been worn out and the muppets are growing increasingly cautious and cynical. When the system crashes, it will be a totally uncontrolled crash rather than a partially uncontrolled crash. I wonder how the banksters will do against large mobs of rabid muppets carrying rops, pitchforks, and torches... not very well I fear...

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 12:23 | 5532773 Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

Define "Forever".

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:52 | 5532629 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

AND here is a laugh...actually on topic! Banksters and their lies are legion. 

http://www.americanbanker.com/bankthink/to-restore-trust-in-banks-build-...

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:58 | 5532648 yogibear
yogibear's picture

The $3.5 billion is chump change for Citi. Cost of doing criminal business.

Eric Holder said their too big to prosecute.

The department of Just-Us would even look the other way with murder with regards to these big banksters.

 

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 12:25 | 5532785 Prober
Prober's picture

The regime is harvesting the legal claims as a new revenue stream, that was their plan from the inauguration, which is why they wanted to keep all the TBTF banks going full-throttle.

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 12:46 | 5532922 numapepi
numapepi's picture

Try reaching over the counter of the local liqueur store and taking a ten spot from the register and see how you are treated by our government... as opposed to how you are treated if your are politically favored and steal hundreds of millions of dollars from the American people and shareholders.

As far as I am concerned, these TBTF scandals are a reflection of the MF Global scandal. Which by the way, no one has anyone gone to jail over? Or is Jon Corzine still partying on the beach in Florida with his ill gotten gains?

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 15:01 | 5533609 venturen
venturen's picture

no corzine is fund raising for Hillary....SEC. OF TREASURY is a lock for Corzine...and bill as Sec of State. The secret service will be arranging his parties!

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 14:59 | 5533600 venturen
venturen's picture

Political payoffs are going to be costly. Where are all these bilions in slush going? Holders bank account? Deferred income for Comrade Obama? The DNC's Christmas party...wait they don't believe in Christmas...more like pagan devil worship meeting held on DEC 25?

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 15:35 | 5533769 withglee
withglee's picture

First our federal government was financed by tariffs. It wasn't enough.

They added an unconstitutional income tax. It wasn't enough.

They've inflated away the value of the currency. It wasn't enough.

They added fees for everything they do. It wasn't enough.

Now they look the other way as those they regulate break the laws. Then they come back and fine them for doing so.

What do you suppose they'll try next?

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 21:06 | 5534940 honestann
honestann's picture

They'll force private retirement accounts to invest in government debt.  And pension funds.  And whatever other pools of savings they can find.

Then they'll just have banks simply steal private savings accounts.  That's called "bail-in", right?  Except next time most of the cash will flow into the government coffers.

Then they'll create a federal property tax, or something similar.

Hey, I'm gonna stop here... one of them might be reading this.

Wed, 12/10/2014 - 10:08 | 5536121 withglee
withglee's picture

A cheaper solution for us (the host) might be to let the parasites take 100% of our blood right now (rather than slowly bleed us). The collapse and reset would quickly follow. Integrating the dollars out of our pockets, quick collapse would be a less costly, less painful and a quicker, more cleansing, solution to this parasitic problem we have.

Tue, 12/09/2014 - 15:42 | 5533808 reTARD
reTARD's picture

Citi sucks balls. Goldman has "get out of jail free" cards, LOL.

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