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Down with Grumpy Cat

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Submitted by James E Miller via Mises Canada,

grumpy_cat

The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win. Working Men of All Countries, Unite!” – Karl Marx

In our dire era of increasing economic inequality, we need a symbol for the oppression of the masses. Imagery is a powerful source for inciting change. If we, as the suffering collective, are to attain the glory of perfectly equal distribution, we must find a culprit for our misery. Billionaires like Sheldon Adelson and the George Soros are not popular enough to play public villains. No, what the people need is someone of prominence. They need someone well-known who represents the pure evil of unfettered capitalism.

I think I found the answer to the desperate prayers of the poor and blighted. They want a villain to join in solidarity against. Well, I shall meet their demand. For any egalitarian warrior that wants to stick a pitchfork deep into the injustice of massive wealth accumulation, there exists a target so heinous and diabolical, it begs to be destroyed.

The sole cause of human suffering in the world exists in one entity: Grumpy Cat.

That’s right; the internet sensation “Grumpy Cat” embodies the worst aspects of the nouveau riche. The crotchety feline is a disgrace to American ingenuity. She is ungrateful and undeserving of the riches she has unjustly acquired. Her talent consists of allowing pictures to be taken of her dour countenance. Surely, this is a mockery of all working class Americans.

Grumpy Cat has done nothing to advance human wisdom or goodness. Instead, the mongrel, whose real name is Tardar Sauce, earned her wealth through sheer laziness. Worst of all, Grumpy Cat has the privilege of not being a human. There are poor children in Africa who will never have the chance to experience cat privilege. How dare she strut around in comfort and luxury without doing a thing to help her fellow citizens of the world! What kind of world do we live in where a pet can earn a better living than a bank executive? Not a fair one, that’s for sure.

For all these crimes and more, it’s time we make an example out of Grumpy Cat. There are reports that the sourpussed kitten has earned close to $100 million in just two years. The owner of Ms. Sauce alleges those figures are inaccurate. But why should we believe someone who can afford a life of opulence? The rich overclass can’t be trusted. We know from Marxist dialectics that so-called “facts” are used to keep the common people in chains.

We workers aren’t privy to the true extent of how much Grumpy Cat has earned from us. We must not lose sight of the truth that the cat is not just a harmless mascot who is looked upon fondly on the internet. She’s a veritable multimedia empire. Her face is plastered upon an immeasurable array of products. She is the star of a Lifetime Christmas movie and has hosted an episode of the masculine pageant known as WWE Raw. There’s no telling how much revenue the snobbish cat has earned. Such a gross injustice calls for action.

Everyone knows income inequality threatens the stability of Western countries. Former Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan, whose brilliant foresight and financial acumen did nothing to prevent the financial crisis, considers “income inequality the most dangerous part of what’s going on in the United States.” Economist Thomas Picketty, whose famed calculations on worldwide capital are without flaw, also says inequality poses a threat to Western civilization. Surely, these two brilliant minds can’t be wrong!

There are those who will say that Grumpy Cat poses no threat to societal tranquility. They will say that she is a harmless feline whose natural gifts provide endless amounts of joy for many. They will claim that our worries are childish, and that a household pet should be free to earn its owner as much money as possible, provided the animal is kept away from harm. We must not be swayed by this bourgeoise logic. Reason is the enemy of the human spirit. Our envy and emotions are our greatest weapons against the entrenched inequities in this country. We must not allow the forces of rationality to interfere with our mission of eating the rich.

Now is the time for hasty thought and even hastier action. Tearing down our capitalist overseers requires a firm commitment to take no prisoners. Grumpy Cat, whose wealth is far beyond the reach of the unwashed masses, must be punished. She must be used as a symbol to rile the middle and lower classes out of their stupor. With a small push, we can convince the hoi polloi that their interests are at the heart of our sacred battle.

Let no apprehension toward chaotic revolution fool you. The wisdom of tradition must be cast off if we’re to achieve progress. Edmund Burke was a member of the white aristocracy; his words do not pertain to the struggle against the capitalist order. We must allow the moral arc of history to be our guide. When the French revolutionaries tore down the noble class, the only victims were those who deserved it. When the Bolshevik Revolution occurred, it ushered in a communist harmony devoid of human suffering. The same goes for Mao’s Great Leap Forward – another achievement in mankind’s flourishing.

Now is time for a new revolution. All the talk of the American entrepreneur is bullcockey. Warnings about human complexity and the need for peaceful cooperation is just a smokescreen for tyranny. Our freedom lies in tearing down those better and more well-off than us. We are the glorious heirs to the brave candlemakers who sought to block out the sun. Where our French brethren fought for freedom from natural competition, we fight for the liberty of not feeling inadequate next to an adorable feline. It is the most noble of causes. For if inequality is a crime, then Tarder “Grumpy Cat” Sauce is hostis humani generis.

There is only one solution that will begin the process of establishing a more equitable and more just social system: we must send Grumpy Cat to the guillotine. Her obscene amount of wealth is proof enough of guilt. Off with her head!

 

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Mon, 12/15/2014 - 22:46 | 5556566 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

After the revolution things will be different...not better, just different....

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:00 | 5556616 nink
nink's picture

What do I care I made 72 Million trading stocks in my lunch hour at school.  OK I may have lied and lost $72,000 but at least I am guaranteed a Job with the IMF when I graduate.

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:14 | 5556645 NoDecaf
NoDecaf's picture

Grumpy cat 2016!!!

 

it's the best chance we have.

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 00:08 | 5556801 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Nice to see mises attempt humour, they could sure use it over there I'm guessing. Their top advisor Sprott has seen his only successful fund go off a cliff in the past few weeks. 

http://quote.morningstar.com/fund/chart.aspx?t=F0CAN05OPQ&region=CAN

Whoops! Should of invested in grumpy cat instead! 

http://www.sprott.com/prices-and-performance/performance/

it's deh poor people man, keepin' down des genius rich folkz. Dat kind of killer performance don't come cheap neither!

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 09:07 | 5557579 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

The marketplace will decide Grumpy Cat's rightful place in the spectrum of life.

Viva la Grumpy!!!

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 15:37 | 5559573 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

Except....why do you call the Fed(counterfeiting operation) and it's beneficiaries (fascists) the "capitalist overseers" which need to be overthrown.

overthrown yes....capitalist they are not.

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:02 | 5556618 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

Anyone else remember that episode of Happy Days where von Mises jumped the shark?

Seriously, get this crap off ZH.

Data. Analysis. Principles. Experienced opinion.

Oh, and sarcasm and long sentences I couldn't possibly learn to diagram if I had a PhD in nuke physics.

Regards,

Cooter

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:21 | 5556665 stacking12321
stacking12321's picture

why so grumpy, cooter?

oh, that's right, you live in AK, you must be SAD (Seasonal affective disorder)

go hibernate for a few months, you'll feel better...

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 00:47 | 5556876 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

You know what I *really* love about the free market? Let me tell you!

I was born and raised in TX/AR and my old man is a coon ass. I love the south, I love great music (www.khyi.com - use the Listen Live menu optin), the great food, and the native folks are usually polite and awesome people. I don't even mind the heat so much, as I drove a non-A/Ced car in TX summers while I worked my way through school.

But you know what? I HATE THE FUCKING SUN. Just me, not you, which is why I like a free market, ya' know?

Everyone else loves the sun. They move to FL and HI and AZ because they can't get enough sun. They like to pay a premium for that. I am completely, totally happy living in a rain forrest (i.e. always overcast) above a 58 latitude where it is dark when I go to work and dark when I leave work about this time of year. And it is expensive.

But you know what? I am FUCKING happy which is one of the reasons I moved here. I wore a T-Shirt about after work today because it was in the 40s and I was getting kind of sweaty (left the wool in the truck). I talked with some friends that it felt kind of "summer-ish" as the daylight time was much warmer, particularly for this time of year.

Thanks for attacking me instead of this crap post. And it is a CRAP post.

You had anything else to add (hominem)?

Regards,

Cooter

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 06:29 | 5557155 juangrande
juangrande's picture

Cooter, most people don't know what a coon ass is. Myself, being born and raised in SW Louisiana, I am aware of the cooned ass. Funny thing is, I was always told ( by a plethora of CA's) that anybody that lived north of Alexandria, La. was a redneck, not a coon ass. Now, as I said before, I was educated in SW La., but I'm pretty sure Arkansas is north of Alexandria. But you mentioned Texas, so if it was east of Houston and south of Nacogdoches, I suppose that would qualify.

Now, as you and I know, "coon ass" is a term of endearment (at least to other coon asses). However, I once tried to have a ball cap custom made for my upteenth generation Cajun ( Abbeville) brother-in-law as a x-mas present. It was to have had the name and location of his boat ( probably the most dear possession of any coon ass, along with his favorite shotgun) on the front with an enscription on the back stating " Coon Ass since 1951". Well now, wouldn't you know that that there yankee hat company would not make that hat because of the offensive and derogatory term " coon ass". I tried to explain to the polite lady on the telephone that coon asses were poud of their heritage, the term is (mostly) color blind, and if used respectfully in a sentence among them, wouldn't no harm come from it. And, I was sure the Vietnamese, who was going to make the hat, wouldn't care either! Well, as you can imagine, she wasn't haveing none of that and x-mas was a little less joyful in Abbeville.

I don't claim myself to be coon ass, as my mother and father were carpetbaggers who only came to work for the yankee oil companies. But they have stayed for more than 50 yrs. and we all feel pretty comfortable being around coon asses. And 2 of my sisters have married into coon ass families.

 

As for myself, I now reside at 8000' in CO. There is lot's of sun, but it's never hot. At least, not  like those 2 a day football practices in August hot I remember so unfondly!

 

Here's a little something for those who aren't familiar with coon asses.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RrZE4ohVX8

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 10:42 | 5558112 detached.amusement
detached.amusement's picture

this guy's great, he reminds me of my uncle's crazy loudmouth friend, but I never quite knew exactly where the accent was from!

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 05:09 | 5567359 stacking12321
stacking12321's picture

attacking?

lol, why such a sensitive sally?

i got nothing against you cooter.

i thought you AKans had thicker skins than to be offended by a flippant remark.

don't take things so seriously.

 

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:49 | 5556738 Aeternus
Aeternus's picture

Just click the fucking ads I have to get out of my parents basement before I top myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGYaFMFU63U

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 22:49 | 5556573 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Off your meds???

 

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:56 | 5556776 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Or he's on some really good shit.

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 22:51 | 5556577 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Go home zerohedge. You're drunk.

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 22:51 | 5556578 Everyman
Everyman's picture

It's a CAT!

 

Sometimes "A cat is just a cat." Has nothing to do with a symbol of economic inequality.

 

Very Stupid. And not very funny or particularly clever.

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 22:52 | 5556582 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

What in the actual fuck is this?

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:54 | 5556619 Freddie
Freddie's picture

The owner supposedly has made more money this year then that pig Kim K off her fat ass.   I wish I had a cat and would have photoshopped a frown on it.  I could be a 1%'er.

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 22:54 | 5556590 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Kill this grumpy feline who vexes me so!

I'll reward you handsomely ;-)

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 22:57 | 5556594 ironmace
ironmace's picture

What the fuck am I reading?

Why?

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:00 | 5556613 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Someone took her funny looking cat and parlayed her hilarious image into a money making meme. Something like $80 million. This goes against the grain of Mises Instititute bloggers.

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 22:57 | 5556596 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 22:59 | 5556603 Everyman
Everyman's picture

Et Tu, Bruti?

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:02 | 5556617 himaroid
himaroid's picture

"Cheney, you magnificent bastard, I read your book!"

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:47 | 5556740 Cthonic
Cthonic's picture

Purrfect.

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 22:59 | 5556604 Intelligence_In...
Intelligence_Insulter's picture

I feel it. I FEEL IT.  kill the rich

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:00 | 5556607 knukles
knukles's picture

Interesting bit of mind control quoted therein:

Inequality is a crime.

Some VERY profound implications.

note also the fucking cat is white...  another bit of suggestive placement behind your conscious observations  white cat guilt

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 22:59 | 5556610 himaroid
himaroid's picture

Thanks for making even ME look good Tyler.

Too lame for even an obligatory pussy joke.

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:13 | 5556640 prefan4200
prefan4200's picture

Really?  Fucking Grumpy Cat?  On ZH?  Fucking really?  Quit wasting our time..... what's next, Honey Fucking Bobo or whatever her fucking name is?  Christ, Tyler, I expect more from you......

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:20 | 5556663 Hohum
Hohum's picture

I don't hate you because you're rich; I hate you because you are conceited enough to think you are a wealth creator and too stupid to realize you're not.

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:24 | 5556674 Smuckers
Smuckers's picture

Holy fuck, someone has lost their shit. I for one, will not stand behind a mob, fist raised and wave a grumpy cat poster. Now, make a poster of KK's pimply fat rotund ass, and maybe we'll talk.

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:23 | 5556675 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

"GRUMPY CAT, GRUMPY CAT, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!" (phobe from Frineds)

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:25 | 5556676 Haole
Haole's picture

Some of you have lost your sense of humor, satirical and metaphoric jocularity.

 

Good on ya' Tylers.

 

Top o' the season to all!

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:26 | 5556680 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

PLEASE.....NO FURTHER COMMENTS....ENOUGH SAID !!!

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:25 | 5556685 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

There are only two symbolic animal pictures that should dwell @ ZH:

This  one: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/44/138233880_7bbb221d31.jpg

and

this one: http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/b5/84/44/b58444c9c8db646663a0b0a2...

Bag and tag the rest.

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:53 | 5556763 Cthonic
Cthonic's picture

Right on fockewulf.  Don't forget the squid.

https://i.imgur.com/esFfa9W.jpg

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 01:23 | 5556744 Fuku Ben
Fuku Ben's picture

That would be the Quantum Cheshire Cat

or maybe Cation

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 00:02 | 5556769 lynnybee
lynnybee's picture

Grumpy Cat is a little girl cat with dwarfism.  Her mouth is in a permanent frawn due to her condition of dwarfism.   

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 23:58 | 5556787 adr
adr's picture

Um, no. George Soros, Buffet, Blankfein, Simon, or any other oligarch's severed head would be a lot better.

If people are stupid enough to buy a grumpy cat calendar, then the bitch deserves the money. That is the free market at work. Nobody is forcing anyone to pay for a grumpy cat photo. Blankfein making his company a few billion dollars because Goldman manipulates the market is not justified. Forcing people to pay for failure is a crime that deserves the most creative of punishment.

 

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 00:12 | 5556822 lynnybee
lynnybee's picture

Grumpy cats is as cute as can be.   i now have someone to be grumpy with.   

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 04:24 | 5557078 Kassandra
Kassandra's picture

Lynnybee! Long time no see!

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 00:37 | 5556862 MedicalQuack
MedicalQuack's picture

Cats, have you not heard of Toxoplasmosis, the cat virus that can be passed on:)  Great video here and hang with it to the end.  Kevin Slavin video, he's done with the internet, what are we doing??

http://ducknetweb.blogspot.com/2013/07/toxoplasmosis-and-internetthe-spr...

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 01:03 | 5556902 SgtShaftoe
SgtShaftoe's picture

The time to rewire society is not during a crisis. That always ends badly. The US Constitution would do us all just fine if it was actually enforced by the people. Even England had a second coming of Magna Carta, maybe we'll have a second coming of the Constitution... Who knows.

Anyway, death to grumpy cat!

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 01:14 | 5556914 mharry
mharry's picture

I had to follow the link, because I thought I missed an Oleg Atbashion article.

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 02:51 | 5557006 Mac Avelli
Mac Avelli's picture

Grumpy Cat is clearly a felon, er feline....

blame everything on Grumpy Cat! If it wasn't for Grumpy Cat, our politicians would do the right thing, criminals would be in jail, my debts would disappear and everything would be fine!

 

Wait a minute, he's my avatar!!! I love Grumpy cat, I was born in Canada and I studied the Austrian school.... does not compute.. my head will now explode!!

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 04:31 | 5557085 smacker
smacker's picture

"Our freedom lies in tearing down those better and more well-off than us."

Does Mr Miller think it's April 1st? or is he a Marxist?

Does Lew Rockwell know?

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 06:06 | 5557145 basho
basho's picture

blame everything on a grumpy cat. how infantile.

put your own likeness in the picture.

your satire = s*it

LMAO

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 07:07 | 5557196 Expat
Expat's picture

I can't even tell if this is satire.  I suppose it is.  If so, it's an overblown tribute to Ayn Rand as written by a sophomore humanities major from a second-tier rural university. 

Seriously, what's the point?  Are we supposed to lynch the Kochs, the Dimon, and the Blankfeins, or are we supposed to suck it up and accept that they are superior and deserving of their wealth and power.  And if we attack them, we attack the very foundations of American culture and politics?

I need the Cliff Notes to this article!

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 07:52 | 5557303 22winmag
22winmag's picture

I once read that when someone dies in a house with one or more domesticated cats and nobody comes a knockin' for a few days, the first part of her former owner that muffy will eat is her former owners face.

I wonder that's true.

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 08:51 | 5557525 Prober
Prober's picture

They go for the eyes first - soft, moist, easy access.

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 09:02 | 5557562 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

They like toes and fingers too.

And any pet owner would probably rather have them pets eat them than have them starve.

I can think of a few assholes i'd like to keep alive, chain down, and dump bacon grease all over them and then let in a pack of starving pit bulls.  The only sleep I would lose would be waking up in the middle of the night from laughing too hard.

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 09:16 | 5557498 Prober
Prober's picture

One of the best pieces of shit I have seen without reading the Communist Worker's Party Daily. I especially liked the line:

"Our freedom lies in tearing down those better and more well-off than us. "

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE get all of your comrades who share this fantasy and come try to "tear down" me, who is "much better and well off" than parasites like you because I EARNED IT.

I promise to share with you some of my "wealth" and that you will voice no complaints afterwards :-)))

 

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 10:23 | 5557992 Graph
Graph's picture

Wow !

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 08:58 | 5557549 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

All the 'do your own thing' and stupid fucking vids like this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OPQqH3YlHA  are never going to cut it.

Also with articles like this one you can count on war to knock our asses back into submission.  I'm sure it's on their minds.

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 11:31 | 5558369 zipit
zipit's picture

Torture the truth out of her

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 11:30 | 5558370 zipit
zipit's picture

Off with her head

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