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Fed Cat Bounce: Stocks Soar Most In 3 Years As Crude Crash Continues

Tyler Durden's picture




 

This is indeed "madness"...

 

Just 1 word... "Patient" and this idiotic market soars 700 Dow points! (and S&P 90 Up ) - Quad Witching Machines in full retard mode... This is the biggest 2-day swing since Dec 2011.

 

Up 4-5% in 48 hours...

 

"Most Shorted" stocks are up 4.75% from yesterday's lows - the biggest squeeze since October 2011.

 

Since The FOMC...

 

Dismal Data... Buy Stocks

 

HY Credit dumping... Buy Stocks

 

VIX protection bid... Buy Stocks

 

Crude Carnage... Buy Stocks

 

JPY Carry unwinds... Buy Stocks

 

Inflation expectations collapsing... Buy Stocks

 

 

One more thing...

 

You're getting the picture.

The USDollar rallied...

 

Treasury yields rose quite notably...

 

And commodities generally flatlined as oil roundtripped...

 

Finally, Russia "stabilized" overnight following Putin's annual Q&A...

 

Charts: Bloomberg

 

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Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:08 | 5569974 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

Wow...Goldman and the fat Wall Street bankers destroyed the shorts.  If you think you can beat this rigged casino, think again.  It's all Bullshit!!!

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:11 | 5570002 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

This will not end well. 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:12 | 5570010 TheAnalOG
TheAnalOG's picture

The AnalOG is the type of virtual man you will want in your prepping group.  Not at all prone to psychotic outburts, raping and killing everyone during WROL.

 

https://btc-e.com/

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:34 | 5570591 Jeff the Terrible
Thu, 12/18/2014 - 20:48 | 5570853 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

If I'm getting the picture right, the message of this article is...buy stocks / USD?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 22:06 | 5571067 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

probably would've made some cash on the way down... and lost it all on the way up....good thing all my cash is 'on the sidelines'.  I don't care what the Fed...achem, I mean 'The Market' does anymore.  It lost me a long time ago, but kudos to the three players still in the game. 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 23:17 | 5571276 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

Yeah, I got all the way out and life is much simpler and if I feel the urge to get back in I  climb on my bike and ride far and fast to the middle of nowhere till the feeling goes away.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:13 | 5570013 flacon
flacon's picture

Correction: THIS WILL NOT END. PERIOD. 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:18 | 5570035 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

Wrong.  

It will end.   In a blaze of naked shorts, gun fire, and banker suicides. 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:02 | 5570255 Robert.Paulson
Robert.Paulson's picture

Bankers jumping cliff?! yalla yalla yellen!! :P

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEmQhM82JFI

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:19 | 5570039 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

The trashmen ,who were bourse traders, in Harare said the same.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:34 | 5570129 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Hey Z Hedgers.

Just one question. If we've all been here for years. And, through the articles from the Tyler's have realized that's its a Ponzi scheme on a Globalsits Scale amongst the selective Globalist Elites.?

And mind you, I'm just a normal human being not vested in the market.

Why do we keep arguing?

Pack a gun & pay no Tax.

Peaceful Non Complianceane / Non Particpation into their Criminal Fraund UNITED STATES, Criminal CORP. INC.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:23 | 5570337 Ahoy Polloi
Ahoy Polloi's picture

I tried that already

 

 

& then when they came & busted my doors down, I handed them a box of paper & told them it was all LULULEMON stocks... They took it said they'd let me off with a warning thgis time, but that they'd continue to keep an eye on me...

 

I'm still waiting for them to come back.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:54 | 5570440 Renfield
Renfield's picture

 

<<then when they came & busted my doors down, I handed them a box of paper & told them it was all LULULEMON stocks.>>

What a story! The trick to "money" and "stocks" these days is letting them stick to whatever they're calling "wealth" at the time, and keep back the real stuff! So inspired was I by your sad tale that I wrote a song for you in honour of.

Now and then I think of when QE was forever
Like when you said you felt so wealthy you could ride
Told myself Yellen was right for me
But felt so lonely in her company
But that was wealth and it's a reamin’ I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of madness
Like QE rally to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make cents
Well you said that we would still be rich
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were peasants
And I don't even need your shove
But you treat me like a muppet and that feels so rough
No the market didn't stoop so low
Have your friends collect your receipts and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some money that I used to grow

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it rip
And I wouldn't let the banksters steal some money that I used to grow

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were peasants
And I don't even need your shove
But you treat me like a muppet and that feels so rough
No the market didn't stoop so low
Have your friends collect your receipts and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some money that I used to grow

[x2]
Some money (I used to grow)
Some money (Now you're just some money that I used to grow)
(I used to grow) (That I used to grow) (I used to grow) Some moneyyyy...

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 20:53 | 5570860 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Just one question. If we've all been here for years. And, through the articles from the Tyler's have realized that's its a Ponzi scheme on a Globalsits Scale amongst the selective Globalist Elites.?

Why do we keep arguing?

At a certain point it's not such a bad idea to stop fighting the tsunami and instead ride with it for a bit 'cause either way it's gonna take you along.  

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:15 | 5570021 Pooper Popper
Pooper Popper's picture

What a bunch of fucking sheep we are!

Supply and demand oil,, MY ASS!

Fucking Thieves!

I HATE THIEVES!

Got me so pissed off im going all "Gollum" on them....

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:06 | 5570264 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

nnnaaassstttyyy  trickseeessss

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:00 | 5570486 noben
noben's picture

So... Now that we're all really smart, when are we gonna be RICH?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:20 | 5570043 Lionhearted
Lionhearted's picture

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria! Up is down. Good news is bad news. Bad news is good news. Basically the biggest theft in human history is currently happening.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:23 | 5570053 Philo Beddoe
Philo Beddoe's picture

Where is that plane and how can I get my ass to explode like Kim Kardashian?  Take away all my money but leave me with a big ass and all is forgiven. 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:16 | 5570308 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

The big boys are out of the market.They don't even know why its still going up.

You can take that from one of  the horses mouth, spoken  at a private Dinner party.

Even I was taken by surprise by who was there, and I'm not fazed by even  royalty or celebrity, at all.

The bottom line;they've lost control, or they are about to be fleeced along with the serfs,is

my tentative conclusion.

Still ruminating on it.

 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:19 | 5570544 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Could the computers be in an interactive feedback loop?

There is this phenomemenon where if you march across a suspension bridge in unison, the harmonics can actually make the bridge go wavy and then fall. Apparently if you do not do march in unison, but move normally, this harmonic won't happen. Normally is nature. But Algos are unnaturally "patterned" like the marching. I know this is a stretch and I am leaning on a lot of vague metaphor, but can you see where I am going, in response to your comment, if your horses' mouths are speaking correctly. 

We may need to shut all the machines off for a minute and reset.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:52 | 5570668 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

I think they are scared to. maybe they can't.

Maybe they've become self aware.

The train is supposed to wreck, and isn't,was the feedback.

Either that or the trillionaires are going to eat the mere multi billionaires,by luring them back

into the water.This crowd was only the multi billionaires.I normally try not to socialize with them,

prefering to just take their lucre,but I couldn't refuse this invitation without being rude..

Behind every great fortune is a crime.Talking of criminals,some well known politicos were also

in attendance.

No names, no packdrill,before anyone asks.

 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:52 | 5570664 allgoodmen
allgoodmen's picture

Basically the biggest theft in human history is currently happening.

 

The theft is from our kids and grandkids, who will be living barefoot in a tumbleweed blown world, those who survive the war that is

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 20:06 | 5570706 Milestones
Milestones's picture

--and we have 320 MILLION armed with some 200 million guns and terrain knowledge and we stand staring at disaster and don't have the balls to even say--please don't beat me anymore Massa.

The people including me stand around with our dicks in our hand-- believing some washed up hag and several thousand Tribe members are WORTHY of leading this collapsing world.

What a collection of simple mined cowards we have assembled in this world--not just here.

This is disgusting--I am embarrassed to show my passport.

No Gawd ain't going to help up if we make no effort to salvage ourselves. Milestones

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:49 | 5570446 noben
noben's picture

I don't see a Dead Cat Bounce.

I see a Siberian Tiger Bounce. A tamed Tiger, that is.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 21:39 | 5571000 Bossman1967
Bossman1967's picture

your rite so it will never end !!!! buy most stock and all will be forgotten

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:15 | 5570018 Bloppy
Bloppy's picture

700 Dow points in two days and CNBC and WSJ attempt to give actual reasons other than rigging for the surge. Does anyone believe their BS anymore?

 

CNBC still pushing discredited North Korea hacking theory:

http://tinyurl.com/mz6kely

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:40 | 5570140 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

FED is buying calls on major stocks and/or dumps (buys puts) on VIX whever the stock market feels "threatened". It doesn't mean anything, just circus. But watch the same "exuberant" market crash whenever investors try to cash in. Then, all liquidity magically dissapears. That's why most big shot fund managers end up with chronic reflux disease, and much worse performances for the year than any stupid index. Stock market became the Roach Motel... your only way is IN.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:07 | 5570509 Wait What
Wait What's picture

I've already figured out who the patsies are going to be this go round: foreigners who are experiencing volatility in their home markets dumping funds into the relative stability of the Yellen Put US 'market.' Once enough money gets extracted and paper accumulated by foreigners (Japan, most obviously), financial authorities will shake them out. Keep an eye on the proportion of foreign ownership of US equities as the real signal.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:07 | 5570269 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

If the market doesn't go up then the terrorists win

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:58 | 5570475 noben
noben's picture

< Got richer by taking ZH advice: Fight the Fed! Fight the Dark Lord

< Got richer by taking the opposite advice: "Don't fight the Fed"

Which are you? Assuming you're getting richer or you're taking the directional advice of one camp or the other.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:03 | 5570491 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

You'll be way richer if you'd just get a life...

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:04 | 5570499 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

Some of us get richer by working. Crazy idea, I know.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 20:15 | 5570738 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Are you measuring in paper by any chance?  Also, where is ZH providing advice?  All I see is reports on what is happening and conclusion on what to actually do with it are left the the reader.

Oh well.  I hear Kmart has slightly used strawmen on sale just in time for Christmas.  Be a good patriot and go get some.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:16 | 5570030 DetectiveStern
DetectiveStern's picture

Buy MOOARRRRRR

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:27 | 5570083 nosoeawe
nosoeawe's picture

Wall Street and the Feds are one in the same. They are the same entity. They will never allow themselves to go bust.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:34 | 5570117 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

With their majority ownership position in U.S. Federal Government, Inc., they don't have to worry about that.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:46 | 5570647 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

The US taxpayer who just unknowingly cosigned any derivative loses soon to be amassed by the TBTF banks are the ones who should be worrying.  

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:54 | 5570221 Lionhearted
Lionhearted's picture

But they can short the market and go to cash. They don't go broke stealing your money. Don't be a sheep. They make money going up and they make money going down. That is the little secret that most sheep don't understand.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:10 | 5570286 Eyeroller
Eyeroller's picture

That's exactly what they will do when they see the writing on the wall. 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:34 | 5570123 Lionhearted
Lionhearted's picture

They are going to pump it up as high as it can go then they are going to short it to the center of the earth. When all the sheep realize that their retirement fund won't buy them a happy meal the governmrnt is going to "nationalize" what's left in your IRA, 401k, Roth etc. because you can't trust the Wall Street with your money but you can trust the people who stole your money with your money. Buy PM's and hold on tight.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:51 | 5570207 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

Every Xmas I ask for a stock market correction and all I ever get is a big lump of tarnished silver in my stocking

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:09 | 5570275 jet813
jet813's picture

YOU KNOW only people on the wrong side of this market talk like yu - stp listening t the funnymentals trade the damn trend yu'll knw when it ends quit guessing

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:46 | 5570435 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

Thanks to people like you this clown show retains it legitimacy.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:27 | 5570353 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Sold short three ES @2061.50 basis Mar. '15. I let it run to a little over 2071 if necessary; it's completely unstable and I don't think it can make the triple top; we'll see.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:49 | 5570454 dirtyfiles
dirtyfiles's picture

that is the only logical trade on this tip of a iceberg...

even this FEDs 4 wheel drive manipulated "markets" want make it over the top

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 21:36 | 5570994 EndOfDayExit
EndOfDayExit's picture

I kept buying SPY puts for the last 2.5 years. They have all expired worthless so far. The last one to expire is May'15. I am not buying any more puts beyond that one. Coming to peace with the fact that the shit show can go for a long long time, and it is controlled perfectly.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:08 | 5569975 flacon
flacon's picture

HOLY SHIT!

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:09 | 5569976 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

DOW up 420???  they must be high!

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:16 | 5570019 hobopants
hobopants's picture

Why the fuck would you short this market in the first place? The buyer of last resort has a printing press and in all likelihood a "secret" mandate to keep it elevated. You might as well take your cash out back and burn it.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:17 | 5570037 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Throwed them Tesla shorts onto the bar-b-que ...... up 10% today !

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:25 | 5570076 hobopants
hobopants's picture

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdFLPn30dvQ a movie clip is sometimes worth a thousand words.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:12 | 5570077 Lionhearted
Lionhearted's picture

I would only short it on a down DAY and no longer. The dollar index at 89.22 yet they have printed $8 trillion peices of this paper in the last 6 years. Basically we are living in insane times. It's 1929 all over again. A hard rain is going to fall.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:33 | 5570113 Phuk u
Phuk u's picture

My double up short was looking good 48 hours ago, two days is a long time

in never-never land.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:19 | 5570041 Pooper Popper
Pooper Popper's picture

Daves not here man.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:09 | 5569981 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Another hot day for the miners. GDX up 4%

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:10 | 5569988 flacon
flacon's picture

Miners are diverging from physical reality. 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:17 | 5570024 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

Finally, after all these years, they've finally decoupled from the price of gold.  Party time ahead, the jackboot's been lifted from the throat for some unknown reason, and the billionaires are not going to steal them all for pennies after all!  One for the little guy at last, it's about fucking time!

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:13 | 5570016 Roger Knights
Roger Knights's picture

If there are who-really-owns-it problems with bullion, then a pair trade to buy miners and short bullion makes sense.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:19 | 5570042 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

REALLY?  They go up 2 days, and now the trade is to short metal and go long the dumbest, most gullible, most unprofitable sector around?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:41 | 5570152 Lionhearted
Lionhearted's picture

Short paper bullion to get fools paper. Real metal has real value. Paper metal is fools gold. When the market decides to take posession of the gold backed paper it's over for the fools.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:09 | 5569983 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

Janet is going to get a lot of Supercuts gift certificates from wall street this year. I hope she can use them all.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:29 | 5570091 Eyeroller
Eyeroller's picture

Who needs Supercuts when you have a bowl and a pair of scissors?

 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:33 | 5570125 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

Well, I did say I hope she can use them all.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:14 | 5570298 Eyeroller
Eyeroller's picture

Let's hope the markets give her a buzz cut.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:09 | 5569984 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:12 | 5569994 flacon
flacon's picture

That line never gets old. 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:21 | 5570050 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

But the right decade to work on your bug out bag.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:11 | 5569985 NoIdea
NoIdea's picture

Must. Buy. Stocks.

No matter what the price.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:11 | 5569990 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Santa! You've made it, just in time!

Miracles DO happen!

What a joke of a market, a joke of a country, and a joke of a species.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:14 | 5570020 Osmium
Osmium's picture

How sad is it that you are correct about all three?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:20 | 5570323 Just Take It All
Just Take It All's picture

especially the species.  what a disaster.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:29 | 5570363 Griffin
Griffin's picture

Santa just flew over Iceland and lost his hat. http://www.visir.is/nornahraun-i-liki-jolasveinahufu/article/2014141218890

Not far from his hat there is a really big present waiting for us. The elves are still working on it ;)

 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:15 | 5569995 ekm1
ekm1's picture

Dow as low as 3000 and as high as 6000 by no later than Friday December 30th, 2015

 

Save this post to call me up on it 

 

If not, the world will simply abandon the system

Remember this post of mine

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:18 | 5570031 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

No. Fucking, Way.

One day, we'll wake up (maybe) and see that we've all been Ruble'd and all markets are frozen stiff - stiffer than me last weekend.

They've spent all of this time, faux-money, and energy pumping stocks to moar and moar ATHs. Do you really think they're going to allow your little theory to occur? Not over their dead bodies, bud.

Dow 18000 or moar. Then flatline________________________

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:20 | 5570046 ekm1
ekm1's picture

If the government owns the financial system, and it does, there is no need for wall street. Wall Street would have to shut down.

 

Think....

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:26 | 5570071 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

You have that backwards. The government is owned by the financial system. That's the entire point of fascism. Corporatism, if you prefer.

Honestly, there's no need for Washington, D.C., other than to make legal all of the lawbreaking-cum-legality that takes place on Wall Street.

You think the tail wags the dog. It doesn't. It never has. Wall Street is the dog.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:33 | 5570093 ekm1
ekm1's picture

It makes no difference. If there are no sheep, wolves would have nothing to eat.

If Gov keeps owning the system, sheep are dead, wall street becomes redundant.

 

The system is entirely based on the existence of sheep to be slaughtered by wall street

Stocks are too high for sheep to get involved.

Wolves need to sacrifice few of their own, another Lehman, so sheep are lured at Dow 3000-6000, same as in 2008

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:33 | 5570121 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

The govt doesnt own it, the Banksters do.

WTF are you talking about?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:35 | 5570128 ekm1
ekm1's picture

Ok, the bankers do. Let me agree for a moment.

 

What can the bankers do if no suckers?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:43 | 5570170 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Oh, I don't know. Engage in QE and print baby, print? Turn over trading the markets to machines?

Seems to me they've shown you what they can do for the past 100 years.

Just over the past six years alone, there are over 1400 hundred examples on the S&P alone of what the Bankers can do without suckers.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:49 | 5570180 hobopants
hobopants's picture

You don't need suckers anymore if you've used your scheme to buy everything of value.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:02 | 5570251 allinwood
allinwood's picture

Remember after the last crash, Buffet was the first one to have a significant throw down(in) of 5 billion to lure in the sheep..

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:25 | 5570078 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

I think you have that backwards.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:33 | 5570118 cro_maat
cro_maat's picture

Don't muddy the waters.

1. Banking Cabal owns the FED and other assorted CBs

2. Wall Street is an instrument of the Banking Cabal

3. USSA.GOV is the political / military stage act for the Banking Cabal

 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:36 | 5570134 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

THIS...ekm1  ^^^^^^

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:38 | 5570137 ekm1
ekm1's picture

Ok, Let us assume you are 100% correct.

 

Then what is the point of employing people on wall street?

 

Oligarchs would basically have to shut down offices. Just own the system and mark up numbers on computers. Why bother having thousands of employees?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:10 | 5570219 layman_please
layman_please's picture

ekm1, why does USSA have two parties? it's to keep up the illusion. sheeple assume private (corporations in this case) and public sector balance each other while the truth is they are the same, as are your two parties.

the problem with democracy is the politicians can't get away stealing directly from the taxpayers as they are elected officials. they need the corporations who by receiving  humongous amounts of taxpayers money bribe the politicians in reward.

so who controls who? it's the chicken and the egg causality dilemma in a nutshell.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:15 | 5570226 fuu
fuu's picture

It's part of the illusion that there is a functioning economy. It costs a few billions a year and helps keep the billions in line.

 

We are finally reaching the end game of the industrial revolution.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:33 | 5570382 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

ekm1,

if the guv't owned the financial system instead of the other way around, why would Citi have had to slip the derivatives in the Cromnibus bill?

This just seems bassackwards to me.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:39 | 5570403 ekm1
ekm1's picture

It was not Citi. Elisabeth Warren singled out Citi in order to hit Hillary.

Every single bank wanted that and it makes absolutely no difference anyway.

There is not enough money to cover derivative losses, even if the gov wiped out every single depossited dollar ($11 trillion) and every single pension dollar ($19 trillion)

 

There are $1.4 quadrillion nominal derivatives WORLDWIDE under different jurisdictions.

 

Fri, 12/19/2014 - 11:15 | 5572438 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

ekm1: 5540485

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:17 | 5570032 Traderone
Traderone's picture

Really? What's the signal? Where is your stop in case you are wrong on this trade and will you scale out as it goes your way or exit all at once? And finally, get fucked you moron.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:28 | 5570359 Just Take It All
Just Take It All's picture

stops are for people who cannot comprehend hedging.  look, all of this is going to go nuclear.  so the bet is the S&P is either going down hard (as in -80%) or it is going to the moon and the system is reset.  so buy puts on the S&P and own physical gold.  one is going to win big and the other just vaporizes.  stops are just a fancy way to donate money to wall street.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:29 | 5570087 Trick Shroadé
Trick Shroadé's picture

You have an inflated sense of self if you think anyone is going to remember a post of yours a year from now.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:29 | 5570098 ekm1
ekm1's picture

True. Read my bio

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:05 | 5570265 UggSmash
UggSmash's picture

Actually, I  put down his call on my calendar for 2015, with his name on it. I'm curious to see if he's onto something. And I think he honestly (and admirably) wants to be held accountable for it. He asked us to do so. 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 21:14 | 5570932 Wild Theories
Wild Theories's picture

No, he will just disappear and then come back later with a new account and pretend nothing ever happened, just like the last time he made some stupid ass call and then disappeared when it didn't happen, hey, was that just over a year ago?

I'm also equally skeptic of all these random name posters who have never posted anything else suddenly jumping out of shadows to defend ekm1 everytime he starts losing an arguement, makes it all look rather suspicious, in a really really obvious way

 

either there are alot of ekm1's multi accounts, or there are alot of state dept trolls lurking on ZH, ready to support and upvote every crazed loon such as ekm1 and downvote everyone who ever posts something intelligent but dangerous.

 

Yes, I'm totally calling you bitchez out.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:04 | 5570261 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Plausible.

Do the wheels come off in May when everyone sells and goes away... while oil is still down, SoGen and DeutschBank are shitting their pants because their heavily-leveraged bets in Eastern Europe are in melt down...leading to a world-wide credit collapse?

Or do the wheels come off in October when QE4 kills money as we know it?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:22 | 5570279 Renfield
Renfield's picture

<<Dow as low as 3000 and as high as 6000 by no later than Friday December 30th, 2015>>

ekm1, I strongly agree with you.

I am no math professor, but I can read what's going on geo-politically. I think you are completely correct that there MUST BE a very big 'crash' to restore credibiity to the Western financial system, and it must happen very soon. Yes, I agree that it will be this month, because some key events are scheduled to take place in January that could openly destroy the 'petrodollar' and the West's last chance at hanging on to WRC power, even through an 'SDR' alternative.

<<If not, the world will simply abandon the system.>>

When rigging is the whole game, credibility is the only currency, and the West is about out of that. It is going to take some very serious action to restore it. Right now the West is looking like the punk - people are openly pointing and laughing at the 'world reserve currency' and it is being abandoned in droves. The WRC gig is just about over b/c it is obvious to all (not counting impoverished Western peasants, who no longer matter) that the Emperor has no clothes.

They HAVE TO rig this back down, or they will be finished after January. The rest of the world produces; the West simply rigs. Even the true believers are uncomfortable; they know something is wrong; sometimes I tease my true believer family by saying, Wow, stocks are up, so productivity must be BOOMING, right? Everyone, even true believers, know that healthy economies do not run ZIRP for years, do not resort to NIRP, and do not have HUGE productivity and unemployment problems or criminals openly running all their banks.

Propaganda isn't productive. Governments buying 'stocks' isn't productive. Financialisation isn't productive. An idle working class isn't productive.

Therefore, muppet hunting season is about to open in earnest. It has to - no producers will invest here until it does, not until there is real value to be discovered. Price discovery is coming fast.

The BRICS Development Bank, and the Eurasian Axis, are just about ready to take off. The RIFT system is already online.

I've been telling my family 60% - 75% off the stock market. Rigging and propagandising may work for local muppets, but it doesn't fool investors.

I will certainly remember this comment of yours. Personally I agree with it.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:23 | 5570339 Eyeroller
Eyeroller's picture

Remember:  Effective Sunday December 21st

CME Implements Gold Circuit Breakers up to $400 Wide.

 

 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:01 | 5570484 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Winter Solstice.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:06 | 5570506 Renfield
Renfield's picture

Black Christmas.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:13 | 5569997 sandlapper
sandlapper's picture

BTFD BTFATH BRAH!

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:33 | 5570119 Miles Plastic
Miles Plastic's picture

+1 for the Wade Hampton avatar

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:12 | 5569998 blaireauhedge
blaireauhedge's picture

Is this the end of ZH?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:13 | 5570003 Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture

 

 

zerohedge perpetuates the skepticism, pessimism that makes rallies like this possible...AGAIN.

ZH deseasonalized site traffic is probably correlated with Vix

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:37 | 5570143 Dungholio
Dungholio's picture

Then ZH is indeed very powerful!!!  Perhaps part and parcel of the whole market rise even..

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:13 | 5570004 kahunabear
kahunabear's picture

It is so obvious that it is rigged and computer controlled when all the averages move lock step in .01% increments. 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:13 | 5570007 FreeShitter
FreeShitter's picture

If you have been long all this time, you have chosen wisely.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:13 | 5570008 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

Just make the Dow 17 billion why don't you. What the fuck difference does it make?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:51 | 5570205 Eagle Keeper
Eagle Keeper's picture

Hillary?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:13 | 5570011 LetsGetPhysical
LetsGetPhysical's picture

Full Retard.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:14 | 5570012 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

Yellen to Bullard: anything you can do, I can do moar better!

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:22 | 5570554 Lionhearted
Lionhearted's picture

One more chart. It only took till 1955 to recover from the 1929 crash. "It's only a paper loss." Yea the paper is dollar bills. In twenty six years after this crash you can be back to where you where before the crash.

http://www.stockpickssystem.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/1929-stock-ma...

This could happen to your "retirement savings".

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:14 | 5570014 madbraz
madbraz's picture

the FED's message:  our real mandate is to pump up derivative positions of our bank owners at options expirations, nothing more.  screw the world

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:15 | 5570023 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

I told you fools two days ago the market would go up 5% in a day after the FED announcement, well here we are.  Sure you missed some gains not buying, hopefully you were not stupid enough to be short but there are still another few percent left in this move before the end of the year as closing over 2100 in the ES and 18000 in the YM is a given.  The only real question at this point is how much will we go up next year, 5, 10, 20%?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:28 | 5570094 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

This doesnt change shit. Theres still a deflationary spiral coming throughout the world, carry trade unwinds coming out the ass with a bullish dollar, DXY a cunthair away from 90. 

Theres always huge rallies after a Fed meeting. The only time theyre not is when they fuck up royally, like when bernanke said 'taper'. I would have been surprised if there wasnt a 5% gain. Especially a week before christmas. 

But the markets will forget when they come back from holiday break and its left with the realization that now all we have is Bullard and Yellen's words, and no QE.

To be clear: There will be no rate hike. But until they announce QE4 markets are going to, at best, tread water, like they have been for months.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:07 | 5570272 bbq on whitehou...
bbq on whitehouse lawn's picture

The stock market will become smaller with time not larger. So the swings will get wider while the overall market shrinks. Sure you can daytrade it on momentum but you will need leverage and sooner or later that will get you.
Other larger money pools are leaveing the stocks and going into bonds, because you dont want to lose Supranos money...ever.
Days like dont help investor confidence. They just show the market to be insider baseball and the old people dont want to play that game with their retirement money.
Play the market if you wish, but unless your making plays you are being played.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:16 | 5570028 Multi
Multi's picture

So, it's offical then?

Fucking unpossible to short this fucking market without losing money?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:17 | 5570033 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

Rumor has it Janet's granny panties got wet today at 3:59 eastern time for the first time in 30 years, with zero help from her bladder

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:27 | 5570084 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

Rumor has it she's wearing a thong tomorrow to celebrate with the Bernank

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:46 | 5570185 cnmcdee
cnmcdee's picture

*that* is hairy and scarey.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:19 | 5570038 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

Tyler, where's the chart indicating market performance as soon as you indicate things are doomish?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:22 | 5570048 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

There's a chart for that, but the current level is off the charts, so he can't post it.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:20 | 5570047 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

I no longer believe what I am seeing. Is the narrator going to blow his head off, to get rid of Tyler ?????

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:24 | 5570052 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Chinese Professor | 2010

 

Wonder how the Jew bankers are going to survive once the petrodollar will be circumvented. It was a great system until greed and derivatives. Wall Street market created unpayable serf debts to fabricate GDP to income levels through Globalization mirrors.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:24 | 5570061 Trick Shroadé
Trick Shroadé's picture

I hope none of you sad sacks were short.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:35 | 5570127 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Not me, this reminds me of 2007-2008. Volatility is has gone into huge daily shifts. Another flash crash is in order, due to new algorithm program errors. Another US market HFT hacking is a cunt hair away.

Flash Equity Failures in 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2011

http://www.nanex.net/FlashCrashEquities/FlashCrashAnalysis_Equities.html

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:28 | 5570082 alexmark2013
alexmark2013's picture
ATHENS SOURCES: Prime Minister Samaras seeks more aceptable Greek Presidential nomination http://investmentwatchblog.com/athens-sources-prime-minister-samaras-seeks-more-aceptable-greek-presidential-nomination/
Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:31 | 5570088 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Gawd what a bunch of phony manipulated BS!

I was just at the doctor getting another shot for the jungles of Africa; TIME had the most blatant, POS article on Russia and Vlad I have ever seen. The write either summoned Goebbels ghost or Bernays ghost.

If Americans are reading this Tripe, they are brainwashed.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:38 | 5570142 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

At least you received your CDC Ebola brainwashed shot.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:46 | 5570175 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

No, one of the hepatitis shots.

The five big media companys need to busted up.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:29 | 5570089 wmbz
wmbz's picture

18,000 in Santa's big bag by Christmas for sure! Or tomorrow!

Life in the biggest rigged in your face, out in the wide open casino on the fucking planet!

MOAR way past da moon!

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:28 | 5570095 Callz d Ballz
Callz d Ballz's picture

Not convinced yet?  If today doesn't do it for you then nothing ever will. 

CONTROLLED

period, end of story

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:28 | 5570096 TabakLover
TabakLover's picture

U. F. B.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:29 | 5570100 KittyStix
KittyStix's picture

I am a market n00B and even I can see the BullScat in this market.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:32 | 5570106 economists_do_i...
economists_do_it_with_models's picture

S&P500 ROC(2) + RSI(300) is over 60.  With a quick scan, I honestly cannot find another such instance.  Not 2007.  Not 1998-2000.  Ah!  Finally found one.  August 10th, 1987 -- just before the 8-25-87 top -- and eventually plunge.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:43 | 5570161 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

+1  The Mother of all Hindenburgs?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:52 | 5570215 Coldcall
Coldcall's picture

not that mother of all Hindenburgs pattern! da da da da....

Fri, 12/19/2014 - 00:00 | 5571367 hedgiex
hedgiex's picture

This is where price discovery POPS in markets. That's the econ theory.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:33 | 5570111 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Kick the can until after the 2016 elections.... At some point folks will realize rates cannot go up.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:35 | 5570133 BullyBearish
BullyBearish's picture

Sorry guys...we've seen this movie a hundred times and the ending is always the same...as long as interest rates are zero, the FED is messaging dovish, oil has and continues to crash, and those outside of this country have nowhere else to put their money then this will continue...right up until the nanosecond it doesn't

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:39 | 5570148 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Its all under control; putin in checkmate; Europe in euphoria (forget Athens); America in WS forever !

What happens to a bankrupt Ukraine is anybody's guess! 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:00 | 5570239 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Nothing is under control.

The only stage they are setting is the "Grab it and run!" stage of a riot.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:53 | 5570379 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Nope the neo-cons have made the US into a COMMAND economy.

In ZH you have no true perspective to what that means. 

It means that the world is now run globally as a command economy. Thanks to US oligarchy who created it in WS under Reaganomics mantra; after having sold their souls to the debt pump in "our money your problem" petrodollar recycling to infinity alchemy. Dear Henry and Nixon with their ping-pong game opened the flood gates to China seduction to save their skins from their Nam debacle. --- "Lets play buddy buddy not bang bang!"

And that construct corresponds to the CHINESE model of the world. China has always been a command economy. China understood what that kiss kiss game really meant long term. All the US could see was short term "slave labour" mega bucks profits in consumerista spend (all paid by evermoar debt).--When hubris makes monkeys of people who think they can get away with being mad dogs and sons of Imperial Rome--

And since Clinton and Bush Jr made it their PET Pardner thru outsourcing, its now taken over the WHOLE shooting match.

1° It has Putin now and his Gazprom cum MIC economy (plus Aluminium and other RM) under its control

2° It will marry into the EU economy down the road, once it has ousted USD dollar hegemony using the BRIC partnership and taking over the IMF party from unilateral to multilateral. 

3° It will take over the Oil patch of ME. It is nearly there.

And in the coming years the Reaganomics mantra will have made the world into a command economy run by Asia with US as second or even third string. 

The model of Adam Smith is over. Welcome to the model of the new command economy. 

ZH better learn a new paradigm other than Mises and Hayek; as they created Reaganomics and its farted in their Miserly faces.

Talk about reality making a fool out of theory. We have seen that movie over the last 30 years !

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:33 | 5570590 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

falak pema - and let's not forget:

abe - re-elected landslide, more printing there.

draghi - ok'ed to begin printing in january.

oil - up or down, all good news, up - good for everybody (numerous reasons), down ditto.

fiscal cliff solved, add 1.1 trillion.

santa claus rally - happens every year.  DO NOT MISS OUT AT ANY PRICE.

etc.

all news is good.  period.  now please, go have some egg-nog, be happy, spend like crazy at walmart, target, best buy for the holidays because your 401k is rocking, and look at the projections, 30% a year or more for the next years until retirement - dude YOU WILL BE RICH.  the fed has guaranteed that.

 - and buy the dip, even if the dip is the almost all time high.

it's your patriotic duty :)

 

 

 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:41 | 5570159 njfeds
njfeds's picture

ever think that zero hedge makes money every time we come here no matter what shit they say? We are the fucking suckers in the end. We have been hosed by Zero Hedge. We are the idiots

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