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Sorry Folks, The North Koreans Hacked The "Global Recovery"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

We are far too speechless to even comment on the latest Goldman "leading indicator" swirlogram, which we can only assume was made public after another unprecedented "North Korean hack" at US "recovery" propaganda central, so here is Goldman's own take:

The December Advanced GLI locates the global industrial cycle in the ‘Slowdown’ phase, which is characterised by positive but decreasing momentum. This follows last month’s Final GLI, which also placed us in ‘Slowdown’. Ongoing oil-related pressure on commodity prices, the AUD and CAD and a retreat of the Philly Fed index from November’s two-decade high contributed to this decline.

 

Five of the seven Advanced GLI components have worsened in December so far. Notably, the Philadelphia Fed headline print (the Advanced proxy for the Global PMI) declined from last month’s two-decade high. The Philly Fed New Orders less Inventories component was also weak following a strong print last month, and the volatile Baltic Dry Index declined. The S&P GSCI Industrial Metals Index® and AUD and CAD TWI aggregate components, two market-based gauges, also deteriorated. The University of Michigan survey (an early proxy for our Consumer Confidence aggregate) came in stronger for a fourth month, and the US Initial   Jobless Claims contributed positively this month, after coming in weaker last month.

And the punchline, well, this:

Looks like the world skipped recovery and proceeded straight into global recession (we say this as the Dow Jones is up 320 points and the S&P is up 90 in 2 days)

 

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Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:26 | 5569768 Tursas
Tursas's picture

Well, Chinese and Russians just showed what happens when logical peoples cooperate!

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:29 | 5569801 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

BRICS vs FED printing free money policy. The US debt repayment bill is going is going to leave a Obama skid mark in everyone's underpants.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:32 | 5569819 SethDealer
SethDealer's picture

lets load up all the ferguson protestors on a cruise ship and take the to N korea to live. hehehe

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:08 | 5569968 HughK
HughK's picture

If/when something like this actually happens, I bet you won't think it's so funny, because the rest of us will be hatin' life too.  Goosestep into the sunset Seth.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:12 | 5569973 hobopants
hobopants's picture

How about we load up all the "police" onto a leaky cargo ship and take them to N korea to live instead? (they'll fit right in).

 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:13 | 5569991 crazytechnician
crazytechnician's picture

Quick , better hack into North Korea's Commodore VIC-20 and disable it's tape recorder before they do any more damage.

Fri, 12/19/2014 - 05:28 | 5571678 crazytechnician
crazytechnician's picture

Better get on it sharpish , apparently  they have almost finalised a 16K memory expansion module for it. God knows what else they will be able to hack into once they have deployed that kind of capability.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:28 | 5569772 SickDollar
SickDollar's picture

you can't make this stuff up people

 

 

 

it's a big club and you ain't in it

 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:34 | 5569827 Truther
Truther's picture

Not since 2000. No one can even draw a staight line anymoe. Fuck GS.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:38 | 5569845 Atomizer
Fri, 12/19/2014 - 00:21 | 5571412 mickeyman
mickeyman's picture

Looks like GS has been reading ZH.

The swirologram is an example of a phase space portrait which were used here http://www.zerohedge.com/news/guest-post-rise-and-fall-us-confidence-or-... although the figures no longer appear.

That article on its original site: http://worldcomplex.blogspot.com/2011/08/rise-and-fall-of-us-confidence....

Recent description of the method: http://worldcomplex.blogspot.com/2014/04/reconstructing-phase-space.html

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:26 | 5569775 pitchforksanonymous
pitchforksanonymous's picture

Follow the yellow brick road . . .

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:25 | 5569778 alexmark2013
alexmark2013's picture

GS: The real trade-weighted USD has been through 2 significant episodes of appreciation in the post-Bretton Woods era 

http://investmentwatchblog.com/gs-the-real-trade-weighted-usd-has-been-through-2-significant-episodes-of-appreciation-in-the-post-bretton-woods-era/

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:26 | 5569780 praps
praps's picture

It's temporary.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:26 | 5569781 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

It's not the fall that kills you, but the sudden stop.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:53 | 5569903 Alananda
Alananda's picture

Only if you did not belong to the Select Few of the banker's class, the movie makers, the opinion formulators for MSM:  Then, likely you were dead well before arrival, dead on departure, missing the experience of air flowing through your hair.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:50 | 5570655 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Personally I'm sad they would miss the few seconds of abject terror they would expereince just before they went splat.

Then again, that might just be me.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:27 | 5569793 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Could we try that again with the quadrants properly identified?  GLI growth needs to be <0% to be in the "contraction" quadrant.

Trust me.  I'm an economist and I'm here to help.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:45 | 5569881 Greenspazm
Greenspazm's picture

they are probably referring to a uterine contraction

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:14 | 5569982 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

I'd keep that quiet, otherwise one day a big E will be branded on your forehead, and

the only stocks you will see will be next to the pillory.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:31 | 5569807 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Loopty loop baby!

The banksters need to repay us.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:31 | 5569812 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

No worries. Decoupled, remember?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:34 | 5569825 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

At least Apple, Microsoft, Facebook, NSA, FBI, CIA  etc etc  etc... doesnt hack, store, save, sell, manipulate, analyse, track, monitor every single bit of information on EVERYBODY in the WORLD!

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:34 | 5569831 geekz_rule
geekz_rule's picture

expand expand expand -> CONTRACT

all your assests are belong to us ( pennies or less on the <insert new currency here> )

SSDD!

P < P + I

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:38 | 5569847 Slurm
Slurm's picture

We slow'ddown some people.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:40 | 5569852 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Escape velocity achieved?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:41 | 5569857 Barnaby
Barnaby's picture

You know it's all going to shit when Fat HackJew Green Hornet and that mountain climber who cut off his own arm bring down entire economies.

I love my PS4, btw. Get a Remastered Bundle for 400 debt notes, you'll be glad you did!

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:41 | 5569858 BlueHen1990
BlueHen1990's picture

This swirlogram is totally asinine

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:44 | 5569873 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

can they hack my BOA mortgage and clear the balance... I will send them my prepper food stuffs, as humanitarin aid, for the deed

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:45 | 5569874 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

I know for a FACT that some North Korean stole my bicycle last month [and probaly stole my romote at the same time 'cause I can't find it in the couch anywhere].

 

That WILL NOT GO UNANSWERED !

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:43 | 5569877 Greenspazm
Greenspazm's picture

will likely not hike for a couple of swirlograms

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:48 | 5569884 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

Yea I got a swirl-o-gram they can have.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:55 | 5569913 breadonwaters
breadonwaters's picture

Damn!  Between cowdiddly and Latina Lover, i'm losing focus while i call the wife to get my spectacles!

C'mon guys (lady?) ....what don't you share your avatars with us poor dweebs.

Perhaps we could have a contest....

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 16:52 | 5569902 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

that looks exactly like the global economy

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:07 | 5569966 bid the soldier...
bid the soldiers shoot's picture

I thought FaceBook bought Swirlogram for billions last summer.

Am I wrong?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:37 | 5570139 divingengineer
divingengineer's picture

Oh, SNAP!!

They hacked the economy!

I gotta tell you, I didn't see that one coming.

Roubini will be on Market Watch claiming he predicted it 2 years ago though. 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:28 | 5570574 Seer
Seer's picture

Ah, Roubin, wasn't he that guy that said that gold would never hit $900/oz?

Talking heads are, well, talking heads...

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:48 | 5570192 nakki
nakki's picture

Assholes "economist" that use data made up by other asshole "economist". Anyone who quotes makes believe data good or bad is part of the system, that is pure fantasy. I just wonder how hard it is to cut and paste data provide by the corporation that the banks own (the FED), UofM consumer confidence and jobless claims. Just have algos cut and paste make up some words and have one dude edit it. 

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 17:59 | 5570241 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

Harpex is near 2 yr highs.... Well below the 5 yr though.
http://www.harperpetersen.com/harpex/harpexRH.do?timePeriod=Years5&&data...

The worst is seeing how far we have fallen in 10 yrs..
http://www.harperpetersen.com/harpex/harpexRH.do?timePeriod=Years10&&dat...

The game has been over for quite a while.... Just no one wants to stop the music.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:01 | 5570249 Seer
Seer's picture

I see that same motion just before I swat the crap out of the fly...

Sometimes you're the windshield and sometimes you're the bug.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:02 | 5570254 stant
stant's picture

I guess my chances to be in tropic thunder II is greatly diminished.even tho i am more qualified than yesterday

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:20 | 5570293 scatha
scatha's picture

Since scientists are no more, we have illusionists, magicians, called economists/techies bunch, instead. And forces of nature/society were replaced by sympathetic forces which routinely pull dead souls to heaven. DJIA/S&P500 is simply pulled up 1000/100 points by sympathetic forces, sympathetic to wall street oligarchs and deadly for you. They need sacrificial lamb for their temple of Fiat Money.And YES it's YOOOOOOOU.

NOW YOU KNOW!!!!!!!

Fat Un still believe (mentally) in gravity and that's his crime against american ingorance.

but for this sony movie thing he should get a medal from Association for Prevention of Brain Tumors in Retarded People.(APBTRT)

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:16 | 5570536 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

The Famious scientist Lord Kelvin long ago said that until you can measure and quantify something it is not a real science, only the beginning of a science.... Economic measurements today are so fabricated and distorted that economics is no longer a real science. It is closer to directional propaganda.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 18:47 | 5570442 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Not Putin this time?

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 20:49 | 5570852 Shirley Swanepoel
Shirley Swanepoel's picture

HAHA! I think I just peed in my pants. Desperadoville at work.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 22:31 | 5571144 countryboy42
countryboy42's picture

Kinda reminds me of a diagram for an aerobatic maneuver. If you look close, you can see where the wings break off.

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 22:40 | 5571168 nightwish
nightwish's picture

Lame. The western machine blames everything these days on an enemy country of the us. What makes more sense, that Sony, the lone non-tribe owned film production company, is being destroyed by a small foreign country we'd love to pin the blame on, or that sony is being destroyed by its tribe competitors? They dont even have close to legitimate evidence pointing strongly to NK, yet its all over the headlines and very early on.

North Korea is denying everything. If it actually were them, theyd LOVE to take credit for it.

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