"Everything Is Awesome"

Tyler Durden's picture

As Politico's Michael Grunwald writes below (we believe non-satirically), the midterm election’s discontent was illegitimate. The point is that Americans should cheer up! And whose fault is all the collective doom? Well, Bill De Blasio already explained that, as Grunwald confirms, the press has a problem reporting good news. So sit back, grab a drink (though swallow it first) and enjoy reading why "everything is awesome" in America (apart from a record 101.5 million Americans not working, record numbers on foodstamps, record numbers on disability, a record wealth divide, a record - and deadly - racial divide, record poverty, and record child homelessness).


Via Politico's Michael Grunwald,

Good news! The U.S. economy grew at a rollicking 5 percent rate in the third quarter. Oh, and it added 320,000 jobs in November, the best of its unprecedented 57 straight months of private-sector employment growth. Just in time for Christmas, the Dow just hit an all-time high and the uninsured rate is approaching an all-time low. Consumer confidence is soaring, inflation is low, gas prices are plunging, and the budget deficit is shrinking. You no longer hear much about the Ebola crisis that dominated the headlines in the fall, much less the border crisis that dominated the headlines over the summer. As Fox News host Andrea Tantaros proclaimed earlier this month: “The United States is awesome! We are awesome!”


OK, she was talking about the Senate torture report, not the state of the union, but things in the U.S. do look rather awesome. Mitt Romney promised to bring unemployment down to 6 percent in his first term; it’s already down to 5.8 percent, half the struggling eurozone’s rate. Newt Gingrich promised $2.50 gas; it’s down to $2.38. Crime, abortion, teen pregnancy and oil imports are also way down, while renewable power is way up and the American auto industry is booming again. You don’t have to give credit to President Barack Obama for “America’s resurgence,” as he has started calling it, but there’s overwhelming evidence the resurgence is real. The Chicken Littles who predicted a double-dip recession, runaway interest rates, Zimbabwe-style inflation, a Greece-style debt crisis, skyrocketing energy prices, health insurance “death spirals” and other horrors have been reliably wrong.


Come to think of it, the 62 percent of Americans who described the economy as “poor” in a CNN poll a week before the Republican landslide in the midterm elections were also wrong. I guess that sounds elitist. Second-guessing the wisdom of the public may be the last bastion of political correctness; if ordinary people don’t feel good about the economy, then the recovery isn’t supposed to be real. But aren’t the 11 million Americans who have landed new jobs since 2010 and the 10 million Americans who have gotten health insurance since 2013 ordinary Americans? It’s true that wage growth has remained slow, but the overall economic trends don’t jibe with the public’s lousy mood. And the public definitely does get stuff wrong. A Bloomberg poll this month found that 73 percent of Americans think the deficit is getting bigger, while 21 percent think it’s getting smaller and 6 percent aren’t sure. In fact, the deficit has dwindled from about $1.2 trillion in 2009 to less than $500 billion in 2014. My favorite part is the mere 6 percent who admitted ignorance; 73 percent are definitely sure the shrinking deficit is actually growing.


The point isn’t that the midterm election’s discontent was illegitimate. The point is that Americans should cheer up! Six years ago, the economy was contracting at an 8 percent annual rate and shedding 800,000 jobs a month. Those were Great Depression-type numbers. The government was pouring billions of dollars into busted banks, and experts like MIT’s Simon Johnson were predicting that the bailouts would cost taxpayers as much as $2 trillion. In reality, the bailouts not only quelled the worst financial panic since the Depression, they made money for taxpayers. Nevertheless, last week, after the government sold its stake in Ally Bank, its last major holding in a financial institution, Johnson complained to The New York Times about the “unfortunate and inappropriate message” being sent by people pointing out the bailouts were actually profitable. In this holiday season, can’t we be a little bit happy we didn’t have to waste the $2 trillion he thought we were going to waste?


This bah-humbug brand of moral superiority has flourished since the crisis: How dare you celebrate this or that piece of economic data when so many Americans are still hurting? It’s awkward to argue with that view, since many Americans are indeed still hurting. But the economic data keep showing that fewer Americans are hurting every month. No one is satisfied with 5.8 percent unemployment, but it’s way better than the 10 percent we had in 2010 or the 11 percent Europe has today. Declining child poverty and household debt and personal bankruptcies are also worth celebrating. Better is better than worse. Whether or not you think Obamacare had anything to do with the slowdown in medical cost growth, it’s a good thing that Medicare’s finances have improved dramatically, extending the solvency of its trust fund by an estimated 13 years. It’s a good thing that U.S. wind power has tripled and solar power has increased tenfold in five years. And while it’s true that the meteoric rise of the stock market since 2009 has produced windfalls for Wall Street, it has also replenished state pension funds and 401(k) retirement plans and labor union coffers. It definitely beats the alternative.


Let’s face it: The press has a problem reporting good news. Two Americans died of Ebola and cable TV flipped out; now we’re Ebola-free and no one seems to care. The same thing happened with the flood of migrant children across the Mexican border, which was a horrific crisis until it suddenly wasn’t. Nobody’s going to win a Pulitzer Prize for recognizing that we’re smoking less, driving less, wasting less electricity and committing less crime. Police are killing fewer civilians, and fewer police are getting killed, but understandably, after the tragedies in Ferguson and Brooklyn, nobody’s thinking about that these days. The media keep us in a perpetual state of panic about spectacular threats to our safety — Ebola, sharks, terrorism — but we’re much likelier to die in a car accident. Although, it ought to be said, much less likely than we used to be; highway fatalities are down 25 percent in a decade.


The other problem in acknowledging good news, not just for the press but for the public, is that it has come to feel partisan, like an endorsement of whoever occupies the White House. Republican leaders have exacerbated this problem by describing everything Obama has done — his 2009 stimulus package, his 2010 Wall Street reforms, his 2013 tax hikes on high earners, his various anti-pollution regulations aimed at coal-fired power plants, and most of all Obamacare — as “job-killing” catastrophes that would obliterate the economy. It’s hard to point out that the economy is humming along nicely without making those doom-and-gloom predictions sound ill-advised and over-the-top. Because they were. Liberals who predicted disaster when Obama refused to nationalize the banking system during the financial crisis and when Republicans insisted on the harsh budget cuts in the 2013 “sequester” were wrong, too. Disaster hasn’t happened.


As ideologically inconvenient as that may be for chronic complainers on the left and right — and for pundit types invested in their bad-year-for-Obama narrative — it’s wonderful for the country. You don’t have to endorse Obama’s economic philosophy to realize that it hasn’t wreaked short-term havoc, just as you don’t have to endorse the Obama or George W. Bush anti-terror philosophies to acknowledge that America hasn’t endured a rash of terror attacks since 2001. Last week, polls finally found a majority of Americans recognizing that the economy is improving, which is to say a majority of Americans are recognizing reality. It’s probably time for politicians to discover a new Ebola to scream about.


There is no shortage of candidates in this less-than-perfect union. The U.S. is still plagued by inadequate public schools, crumbling infrastructure, soaring college tuition costs, stark inequality. Many Americans want accountability for reckless bankers, torturers and fatal choke-holders. Washington is still almost as dysfunctional as everyone says it is. Congress this session really was the second least productive ever. And even though Obama is winding down the U.S. involvement in overseas wars, the world remains a scary place. There’s still plenty to worry about.


But for now be merry! And may the new year be as awesome as this year.

*  *  *

Feel better now? Then perhaps try reading this.

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km4's picture
 2m2 minutes ago

United States, gross debt to GDP ratio. 2006: 63% 2008: 73% 2010: 95% 2012: 102% 2014: 106%



The Alarmist's picture

We're Number 1!  

Got that derivatives total shit locked down too!

Legalizemeth's picture

"Everything is cool when you're part of a team!"

Good luck with that.

knukles's picture

I read this (or tried to) earlier today on the Politico and had a tough time figuring out if it was a cynical sarcastic parody or not.
So I promptly dismissed it as that I'd simply ventured into the wrong space-time continuum and would find my way back home, eventually.
But alas.....
It's real and I'm not

SeanJKerrigan's picture

As the nation descends into barbaric anarchy marked by brutal killings, widespread fraud, poverty and apathy, respect for the our fellow human beings has descended to lows never seen before in American history. The response by the media is either an eerie silence marked by distractions like Sony's latest movie debacle, or an all out propaganda campaign to convince the slaves that things have never been better, despite the forced rehydration of a few of its shitizens.

It would take days to sift through and point out the flaws in each ridiculous statement. But then again, we don't need to. We and others have exposed these faux headlines for what they are again and again -- that GDP growth in Q3 was pulled from Q1, that unemployment is not accurately measured except through population to employment ratios, that the DOW is oversold and completely detached from price discovery. etc. etc. etc.

On the other hand, at present, 46 million Americans are still on food stamps, or roughly 1 in 6.5 people. Roughly 1 in 4 children are on the program.

cynicalskeptic's picture

Stop complaining and be happy with your lot as a galley slave. Now row faster,  you're holding back the economy.


History has shown it's always the underperforming 99% in serfdom or slavery that hold back the 1% who have everyone's best interest at heart. THAT is why empires collapse.  The damn peons never carry their weight.

NihilistZero's picture

legalizemeth... Now THAT is a username LOL!

km4's picture

Map: 41 states have an active chapter of the KKK http://bit.ly/1oT7rs1  

awesome !

stant's picture

Should I be investing in Bbb? 400 thread count?

ISEEIT's picture

Map: 51 states are infected by 'progressivist' who truly are far too deranged to vote.....And yet they do vote.

And perhaps most disturbing of all:


They will do so again!

TheReplacement's picture

You sure it isn't all 57 states?

KnuckleDragger-X's picture

And all 50 states have active Communist party chapters, so your point is????

PrecipiceWatching's picture

And all 50 states have "persons of color" who are not only openly and arrogantly racist, at a level easily equal to the hugely overblown, yesteryear KKK, but likely thieving parasites as well. 

Crawdaddy's picture

Double plus more awesomer- all 57 states are under the control of the federal reserve.

Ahoy Polloi's picture

I Wang Chung'd last night. I'm still paying for it today.

Implied Violins's picture

This article made me retch harder than any fifth of JD ever did...

Schmuck Raker's picture

1986 was a much better year than any in the 21st century, so far.

I never would have guessed it at the time.

sunny's picture

i...am...so...happy.  :-(

Cursive's picture

If you are not a slave to econometric data, you could be happy. This Grunwald idiot would be the first to tell us how bad things are if we had a red state president. I guess he wants me to believe BO was born on US soil as well?

TheReplacement's picture

Rah Rah

Shish boom bah

Red and Blue

The banks own you

kchrisc's picture

"United States, gross debt to GDP ratio. 2006: 63% 2008: 73% 2010: 95% 2012: 102% 2014: 106%"

Actually should be labeled: "United States, gross ownership by the Zionist banksters:  2006: 63% 2008: 73% 2010: 95% 2012: 102% 2014: 106%"

The banksters need to repay us.


Ratio of banksters due for the guillotine: 100%

Ignatius's picture

"Congress this session really was the second least productive ever. And even though Obama is winding down the U.S. involvement in overseas wars, the world remains a scary place."

OK, define "Congressional production".

I would hand him the gun if he promised to shoot himself.

jwoop66's picture



My first thought after reading that nonsense.


What is congress supposed to produce anyways?

playnstocks's picture

Da.. Produce more tax stealing from the working drones to grant the "GIVMEDATS" more stuff...

sun tzu's picture

Their idea of a productive congress is more laws, taxes, and debt spending

Freedumb's picture

And he forgot to mention that the chocolate ration has been increased to 25 grams. WHOOPEEE!!!!

CaptOveur's picture

OT: Did anyone else notice that CNBC turned long on gold today?

Make_Mine_A_Double's picture

This is the sort of penerating analysis I expect from the MSM. Whether it's USSA Today (the first newspaper ever published for people who can't read) or from the web - Politico's resident ass bandits.

Nice, fluffy airy news from the Jews you can use to mentally abuse your friends and NSA listening crews.

I will say this is of a peice to the mood music of the country - a good 99% of sheep have no feckin' clue what is on the horizon - and honestly seem to not much care either.  

Ignatius's picture

Look down:  "Copyright ©2009-2014 ZeroHedge.com/ABC Media, LTD;"

ziggy59's picture

That is not the American Broadcasting Company.

Ignatius's picture

abc media limited
registered office: 46 Eleanor Road, London N11 2QS
registered number: 0500 8782
vat number: 835 3591 15


© abc media, a RMI company.


dexter_morgan's picture

That may explain why you MUST USE ADBLOCK if you want to frequent the site.

Rock On Roger's picture

Never used it and I've been reading here a long time.


Only idiotic morons click the ads.

Dexter Morgan's picture

Agreed.  Much faster page loads.

FieldingMellish's picture

Wrong ABC Media. Think... Bulgaria. (hint: whois)

Crawdaddy's picture

Yep...digital bread crumbs lead the trail out of the woods

JoJoJo's picture


Since Zero Hedge Ive become fonder of Bulgaria but may not move there. I think the word bugger originated there.


guAcAmol-ME's picture


Normalcy Bias's picture

BULLSHIT is America's #1 Industry... has been for quite a while...

swmnguy's picture

And business is BOOMING!!!1!!!

KnuckleDragger-X's picture

You have to remember, bullshit is a renewable product....

Arnold's picture

Not without producing noxious global warming gas as a by product.