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Praise These Intrepid Fed Traders For BTFATH Today Despite The Federal Holiday

Tyler Durden's picture




 

As we sarcastically noted this morning, "one group of Federal workers that is definitely not taking the day off, is the trading desk located on the 9th floor of the New York Fed, responsible for such things as preserving the "fair" value of the bond and the stock market and avoiding any sharp downward moves." And sure enough, with stocks levitating, here are the fabulous 5 left of the 285-plus Bloomberg Users at the NY Fed who are maintaining the world's status quo today...

 

 

You may remember ex-Lehman Brothers' Yan Chow from a previous profile...

 

Because if there is one thing on the "national security" agenda that must be avoided at all costs, it is a drop in the S&P in today's trading session - after all now is when the official Santa rally begins and... we may finally hit Goldman's year end target of 2100 for 2015...  by the end of 2014.

 

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Fri, 12/26/2014 - 17:33 | 5594309 RumbleGuts
RumbleGuts's picture

9th floor?

Jump you fuckers!!!

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 17:46 | 5594341 TungstenBars
TungstenBars's picture

We're just not that lucky. 

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 17:58 | 5594368 Oracle 911
Oracle 911's picture

I Agree, they won't jump and there is not a single nail gun either.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 18:00 | 5594373 Truther
Truther's picture

Really want to see what could make these fuckers jump.... Maybe a BEAR in the room?

Sat, 12/27/2014 - 06:13 | 5595668 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

We tried - but they seem unable to see us  ;)

Sat, 12/27/2014 - 06:30 | 5595691 Oracle 911
Oracle 911's picture

Or a bear riding Putin (if you look up the last Sino-Russian deals and moves this funny mental image makes sense).

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 18:00 | 5594375 Carpenter1
Carpenter1's picture

No, but should TSHTF we know where they work.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 18:03 | 5594383 Truther
Truther's picture

Shhhhh..... Don't tell them about the 72 hour kits they were getting. We could never see them leave then.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 21:10 | 5594799 jwoop66
jwoop66's picture

I was Carpenter 1. CSC Scania.  '09-'10(closing)

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 21:09 | 5594791 jwoop66
jwoop66's picture

Sorry to cut in to your thread, but WTF is BTFATH?! Ive been excluded from half of ZH for six months now!  I guess everyone gets it but me!! 

 

Thanks!

Sat, 12/27/2014 - 00:03 | 5595228 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Buy The Fn All Time High

Sat, 12/27/2014 - 06:00 | 5595659 exonomic halfbreed
exonomic halfbreed's picture

to mkhs:

+1 for helping and plus 1000 for your avatar, which I assume is from the cover of Kink Crimsons album.

Sat, 12/27/2014 - 12:15 | 5596248 jwoop66
jwoop66's picture

Thank you.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 17:32 | 5594313 CelticCanuck
Fri, 12/26/2014 - 18:14 | 5594345 fuu
fuu's picture

Ex-Merrill, Ex-Lehman, Ex-Paulson & CO. Lol.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 17:34 | 5594315 maxw3st
maxw3st's picture

Good to know the "free market" is so well protected.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 17:45 | 5594337 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

i hope those mother fucking assholes read the ZH...
DEATH TO THE MONEYCHANGERS...

that means all 5 of u cocksuckers.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 17:49 | 5594347 lester1
lester1's picture

Doug Brain ? What kind of weirdo name is that?

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 17:51 | 5594349 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

I wonder what size guillotine they each wear? For next years Christmas list.

The banksters need to repay us.

 

"The people will accept gold, silver, or heads in repayment."

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 17:58 | 5594367 Carpenter1
Carpenter1's picture

At this point, I wouldn't even consider the kindness of a guillotine for trash like them. Slowly roasting to death is seeming a bit soft even, I'm googling Satanic cults who are in need of a blood sacrifice, if these vermin have blood.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 18:02 | 5594378 Truther
Truther's picture

Got a few I'd like to see on a stick..... Just sayin'

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 19:11 | 5594526 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

A friend the other night said, "Start with Corzine and work your way down." To which I replied, "Start with Corzine and work your way up."

But then, really, it should be, "Start with Corzine, and work your way up and down."

The banksters need to repay us.

 

My guillotine will take them in whatever order you send them.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 17:54 | 5594354 Carpenter1
Carpenter1's picture

Surely there's gotta be a few hundred anti-establishment and suicidal folks in NY who'd like to do the world a favor. Heck, with a little planning, I bet one guy could finish all 5 of these dirtbags.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 18:02 | 5594381 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

KH off for a holiday? Those 5 chaps are only doing "gods christmas' work"!

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 20:41 | 5594711 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

These are the newbies who only get to see the Hamptons at New Year's +2.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 18:40 | 5594459 tttan
tttan's picture

It cannot be true because under the FED constitution they are not allowed to buy stock or stock indices. Can somebody sue the Fed and find out the truth

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 19:05 | 5594509 Osmium
Osmium's picture

You must be correct, because I don't think buying stocks is part of the FED mandate.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 18:46 | 5594473 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Rob Everybody should be added to the list...

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 19:21 | 5594547 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

Everybody Wang Chung tonite.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoXu6QmxpJE

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 19:41 | 5594592 theyjustcantstop
theyjustcantstop's picture

for these few, they would rather be no where else.

 

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 20:09 | 5594651 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

They really liked AAPL, TSLA and Bio Tech today.. and  Virgin Airlines, all the "Cheap" stocks. Cheap Fuckers.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 22:13 | 5594962 GRDguy
GRDguy's picture

Hey, they're just being good soldiers, doing what's ordered by their sociopathic bosses, who's just following orders from the top sociopaths.  Just like all soldiers, they follow orders or be kicked out.  Tough choice, sometimes.  Didn't someone once say to soldiers, "forgive them father, they know not what they do."  I'm sure they don't have a clue, as in clueless, to the actual damage they're doing to their families, friends, parents and grandparents, or even their children or grandchildren.  If they DO know, then they're simply sociopaths, too, with no conscience nor empathy.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 22:48 | 5595047 exartizo
exartizo's picture

J,

 

It means "Buy The Fucking (Market) At The High".

 

Generally speaking its what the Goldmans of the world want the Muppets to do.

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 23:56 | 5595200 Conax
Conax's picture

These guys went to college and now sit at a desk selecting stawks and hitting BUY.  The big green button on the left.

A monkey could do it. 

Over at the bullion desk the big green button is a SELL.

That way the same monkey can run either desk.

The button also dispenses a piece of banana.

Sat, 12/27/2014 - 06:20 | 5595673 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

On a doomborg terminal the big green button is "GO", and it's not at the left but where a normal keyboard has "Enter". But I guess that is in fact uninteresting, because you seem to be absolutely right about the banana ...   ;)

Sat, 12/27/2014 - 10:19 | 5595922 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Like a monkey in a tropical forest?

Sat, 12/27/2014 - 06:15 | 5595669 cigarEngineer
cigarEngineer's picture

according to http://www.federalreserve.gov/publications/annual-report/statistical-tab...,

the New York Fed has 406 officers making an average of 231k/yr and about 2600 other employees that make an average of 100k/yr.

Sat, 12/27/2014 - 10:18 | 5595914 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Government employees with no skin in the game ordered to buy stocks with freshly printed free money.  That's a train I'd want to be on.

Sat, 12/27/2014 - 17:56 | 5597149 fuck_wad
fuck_wad's picture

perhaps they have lots of freinds who will be very happy to know which stawks ahead of them pressing da button

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