Step Aside North Korea: According To New "Theory" Sony Hackers Are In Fact Russians

Tyler Durden's picture

Remember when evil North Korean hackers were blamed by everyone in the administration for penetrating the firewall of one of the wealthiest, most sophisticated, most secretive multi-national corporations in what now everyone realizes was an epic publicity, not to mention, punking stunt? Well, now that Kim Jong-Un has served his purpose, and the Interview has generated far more revenue than it would have otherwise (but not before North Korea got to troll the US, showing it too has lost all respect for the leader of the free world after it called Obama "A monkey in a tropical jungle") it is time to milk The Interview for some more propaganda talking points.

And sure enough, here comes the Seattle-based cyber security firm Taia Global, which according to the NY Daily News as cited by the Mail has analyzed the "data" and concluded that not so Lil' Kim was right (the FBI was wrong) and it wasn't North Korea after all. So who was it? Why the evil Russians of course.


From the Mail:

A new theory has surfaced that downplays North Korea's involvement in the Sony hacking scandal and suggests the people responsible are actually Russian, based on a linguistics study of the leaked emails.

 

Security experts believe the origins of the now-infamous Guardians of the Peace are Russian after analyzing about 1,600 words attached to the Sony emails the hacking group leaked to a variety of media outlets.

 

The words were investigated by Seattle-based cyber security firm Taia Global. 

 

'Our preliminary results show that Sony's attackers were most likely Russian, possibly but not likely Korean and definitely not Mandarin Chinese or German,' the company wrote in a Christmas Eve blog post, according to The New York Daily News.

Wait a minute: it was just ten days ago that the infallible FBI announced it "now has enough information to conclude that the North Korean government is responsible for" the Sony hack, and will "impose costs and consequences on individuals, groups, or nation states who use cyber means to threaten the United States or U.S. interests." The statement promptly served as a basis for Obama to do his now traditional press conference demanding that North Korea suffer "costs" - that now most entertaining aspect of US foreign policy (such as the "cost" contained in Europe's triple dip recession as a result of Russian sanctions, or the "cost" to America's imploding shale industry as a result of the "secret agreement" between Kerry and Saudi Arabia to put Russia out of business).

Of course, since the propaganda was incomplete and the now traditional false-flag, fabricated YouTube clip "proving" North Korean involvement was missing, some were dubious. But that didn't matter: the US population, eager to swallow any BS story hook, like and sinker, did just as it was expected, and went out to prove its patriotism by showing those evil North Koreans just who is boss by watching a C-grade comedy flop.

Well, now it is time to move the propaganda goal posts once more. Enter evil Russia.

The firm deducted that while the analysis did not clear North Korea of any involvement in the hack, it was unlikely. 

 

That is based on the phrasing and language used by the hackers, who communicated in English.

 

The Taia Global study determined 15 out of 20 phrasings in the emails matched the Russian language.

 

Nine matched Korean, and none were Mandarin or German.

The Mail adds that since their so-called hacking of Sony, "the hackers appear to have turned their attention to the FBI and on December 21 they posted a message which cynically 'praised' the FBI's investigation into the hack, with a link to a video that repeated the phrase 'You are an idiot' repeatedly.

Judging by the latest spin, they were right. But more importantly, they were, drumroll, Russian.

At this point we stopped reading because the lies upon lies were just too much. We do wonder, however, which upcoming movie flop it will be Americans' sworn patriotic duty to watch: Rocky 56, Red Dawn 2, or the sequel to The Hunt for Red October, which the Russians will vocally object to and demand to be banned, only for the producing studio to release the film straight to internet and collect $5.99 for the rental.

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Ahoy Polloi's picture

I must bleak you.

Took Red Pill's picture

kill two birds with one stone (r movie)

Publicus's picture

Biopreparat is the Soviet Union's major biological warfare agency. It is a vast, ostensibly civilian, network of secret laboratories, each of which focused on a different deadly bioagent. Its 30,000 employees is researching and producing pathogenic weapons for use in a major upcoming war.

ZerOhead's picture

... after it called Obama "A monkey in a tropical jungle"

Dear Kim Jong-un:

D.C. is NOT a tropical jungle

Dr. Engali's picture

Well, it's  not tropical anyway. 

Pure Evil's picture

Time to build a porch off the West Wing for the "Monkey" to sit on.

Triggernometry's picture

Next time hackers will speak Dothraki.

 

Then what?

McMolotov's picture

The Dothraki are tools of North Korea, Russia, and Iran. It is known.

COSMOS's picture

The occupants certainly are tropical.  And they like going to tropical island vacations.

Latina Lover's picture

Never let a crisis go to waste.  Rahm Emmanuel

Problem is, what do we do when we don't really know HOW to exploit the crisis?  Today the default position is to blame the Russians, even if the FBI  initially concluded it was the North Koreans. Talk about fucked up idiots running our gov't.

 

J S Bach's picture

I love the picture of Drago & Rocky.  Just imagine Putin saying to little feminine Obama, "I must break you."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygQvB6OjHOU

william114085's picture

Putin is 5'3, 115 lbs and has had cosmetic surgery....if you're gonna hitch your star to a tough guy, why not somebody like Inspector Callahan or Marshall Jim Duncan?

Pure Evil's picture

And........you're trying to imply that.....one on one.....that Obama could take Putin?

knukles's picture

Would that contest include reach arounds or just fisticuffs?

jon dough's picture

.

 

...think you meant fist-i-butts, right?...

dirtscratcher's picture
@William 114085: better check your facts a little bit better. From Wikipedia: Weight and height

As of 2011, Putin weighted 77 kg (170 pounds).[409] His height is 170 cm (5'7") according to The Guardian,[410] or 169 cm (5'7") according to the Moscow Times.[411] Therefore, his body mass index is 26.6 to 27.0.

TheMeatTrapper's picture

 It's really telling when the Putin haters are so desperate to find something to criticize that they have to fabricate stats about his size and weight. 

That tells me that they are completely out of ammo; unable to make any meaningful, factual based comment to support their pro Obama positions. 

InvalidID's picture

 

 170 and 5'7 still isn't Drago... Hell, I know women that big... LOL

J S Bach's picture

I'm not hitching my star to anyone, Bill.  But, if I had to choose a leader, I'd prefer Putin to Obama any day - and that's not saying much.  Remember, Napoleon, Hitler and even Stalin were puny guys, but they new how to wield power effectively.  Not a defense - just saying size aint everything.

(And I think Putin is a multi-level black belt, too.)

Skateboarder's picture

Too many 'scientists' and 'engineers' contend for the biggest-sell-out-rat-bastard-motherfucker-on-the-planet award with glee, doing everything from fabrication and falsification to outright evil and malice.

"Just doin mah job."

ZerOhead's picture

Lead scientist Dr. Shlomo Argamon says the evidence is indisputable unless you are an antisemite...

http://taia.global/  < (I wouldn't click this link if I were you...)

The Taia Global team is committed to delivering verifiable and actionable intelligence on rival state R&D projects in certain high value sectors like Aerospace, Biotechnology, Energy, and Information Technology to name a few. This 5 minute video is the first of a series that will demonstrate how REDACT may be used by our customers. If this capability […]

noben's picture
noben (not verified) ZerOhead Dec 29, 2014 4:44 PM

Are they not also based in McLean, Virginia? Hmmm...

knukles's picture

Oh yes! As a matter of fact, at 1650 Tysons Blvd, Suite 1580!  Why would you ask?
What?
Oh heavens!  Let's not start with that silly conspiracy theorizing again.

 

Have you seen my low voltage tin foil hat?   I thought I'd left it somewhere over here. 
What!
On my head all the time! 
Hah ha ha ha
Oh, silly me!

Overfed's picture

I don't really give a fuck about the propaganda anymore. I would, however, pay good money to watch Dolph Lundgren give Sly a beatdown in real life.

Ignatius's picture

I'd pay for courtside.

WmMcK's picture

Or rabbits, as Vlad would say.

LasVegasDave's picture

Wait just a second ZH conspiracy fans; Taia global sounds like a yid/hasbara/mossad/rothschild operation.

 

I thought they were running cover for the NWO?

Omen IV's picture

There is a statistically significant segment of the USA population who would believe it was Osama Bin Ladin's fault

McMolotov's picture

They hate us for our freederp.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Saddam Hussein hacked Sony!!!1!

McMolotov's picture

"Security experts believe the origins of the now-infamous Guardians of the Peace are Russian after analyzing..."

Hey, Brits — is that how you spell 'analyzing?' Thought you spelled it 'analysing,' in which case this Daily Fail article was probably authored in Langley, Virginia. Double-derp...

Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

Had this discussion with my father when he said something about 'I can't believe the NKs would actually have the balls to pull something like this, especially over a movie' I replied that I couldn't believe everyone was buying that line of bullshit anyway, and I didn't buy it myself. I then asked how he can go from complaining about how nearly everything the Obama admin tells us is a lie, but then still believe this. I will have to call him and ask him about it now. But, no doubt, the same people who were absolutely convinced it was the norks will still believe it when they are told it was the Russians this time. I swear, the teevee could tell them some Martians did it, and they would believe it

McMolotov's picture

We've always been at war with Eastasia.

Skateboarder's picture

Eurasia* - hold on, we're getting reports that it was with Easta - hold on again - it's Eu, no it's Eastasia. Yes! That's final - it's Eurasia.

Hold on, we're getting reports....

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

We've always been at war with Indo-Euratlantarctica.

knukles's picture

We've always been at war with Mars!

WmMcK's picture

We have met the enemy and it is us.

Hulk's picture

Martians hate us for our water !!!

TheReplacement's picture

Well it seems we are losing.

McMolotov's picture

Greenskeeper_Carl really did make an excellent point. Most people will simply buy whatever "the authorities" tell them. Contradictions don't matter, and neither does proof. People have been conditioned not to think but to simply absorb whatever they're told by the glowing box in their living room.

It's scary that Orwell had all this pegged more than half a century ago.

ZerOhead's picture

View Taia Global Inc company location, revenue, industry and description. Find related and ... 1650 Tysons Blvd Suite 1580 McLean Virginia 22102United States

You are a damn good guesser...

Skateboarder's picture

It should be alarming to anyone who has read the books, how many elements of Orwell's and Huxley's worlds are now present in ours. The fundamental transformative step from living a 'normal' world to living in a bigBrudda world is the abandonment of mutual exclusion. Initially it's because the authorities told you so, and you are stil able to separate the mutually exclusive elements to expose the contradiction. With enough passing time and rewiring of neural nets, it becomes more and more difficult.

McMolotov's picture

I think each of us is born with a reasonably accurate bullshit detector, but a lot of people's eventually stop working or are purposefully broken or discarded.

Once a critical mass is reached, "the authorities" can get away with pretty much anything.

TheReplacement's picture

I feel like it is the exact opposite for some people.  You might go your whole life respecting their authority until one day you don't.  Perhaps you were raised that way through and through.  One day, the BS meter just starts up.  Sometimes it is slow and sometimes fast.

If people can be brainwashed they manipulated the other way too.