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Want to eat well today and hedge for the apocolypse? Try a family milk cow!
I want to be clear on one point. I am not really a survivalist. I am a thrivalist. What is that? For me, being a thrivalist is a combination of several factors. First, I believe that the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand...today...right now...here on Earth...not at some unknown post-apocalyptic point in the future. Second, philosophically and politically, I am very Libertarian with a strong Epicurean streak. For me, these two views are well summarized in the following quotes (and you will soon read why this is germane to the topic):
Life Is a Gift from God.
We hold from God the gift which includes all others. This
gift is life -- physical, intellectual, and moral life.
But life cannot maintain itself alone. The Creator of life has entrusted us with the responsibility of preserving, developing, and
perfecting it. In order that we may accomplish this, He has provided us with a
collection of marvelous faculties. And He has put us in the midst of a variety
of natural resources. By the application of our faculties to these natural
resources we convert them into products, and use them. This process is
necessary in order that life may run its appointed course.
Life, faculties, production--in other words, individuality, liberty, property -- this is man. And in spite of the cunning of artful political leaders, these three gifts from God
precede all human legislation, and are superior to it.
-Bastiat
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
-Epicurus
So, eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorow we may die fighting to defend our person, liberty, and property? Well...kinda, sorta, yes.
Personally, I am a self-made professional and an equestrian-by-marriage. Most important to this post, I am not a prepper focused on some unpredictable future event (thank you Nassim Taleb), but rather a man focused on living well today, and God willing tomorrow, with an eye to practicing disintermediation wherever and whenever possible.
So, where is this leading, and what does it have to do with cows? Well, yesterday, I was asked by Meat Hammer:
This was my response:
A clear mind, a fit body, a few people you trust, a quality blade, a rifle
you know, and a good mare, everything else is superfluous.
I am happy with that response, as those are truly the
ESSENTIAL Shit-Hits-The-Fan items for me.
I have posted a much longer and more detailed TEOTWAWKI article
on ZeroHedge before, with a much broader and more general audience in
mind. However, I think Meat Hammer is
looking for something less general, and a little more personal, specifically
dealing with what some people call homesteading, but I like to think of simply as
thriving. At the top of that list is a
small bit of pastureland proximate to one's home, then closely followed on my
list by the family milk cow, which is really the focus of this article.
Do have a cow, specifically a triple-purpose heritage-breed cow such as a
Milking Shorthorn! She provides milk,
meat, and when trained as an ox she can pull a load.
A cow is a proven way to convert sunlight, water, and
pasture into a usable surplus of protein, fat, calories, leather, and
horsepower. I believe that in many ways
having a family milk cow is both easier and more reliable than raising crops,
although it is pretty darn easy to grow potatoes or yams.
In The Princes of Ireland, one of Edward Rutherfurd's
historical-fiction novels set in Ireland, it is illustrated how cattle have
been the most significant store of wealth for centuries of Irish history, and
how political power and stealing said wealth (by cattle rustling) were often
intertwined. For me, as someone who has
enjoyed historical Wyoming from both horseback and an easy chair, The Johnson
County War came to mind. But I digress.
Let us get to what Meat Hammer really wants to read, which I believe is hedgeless_horseman's
list of things you will need for your SHTF family milk cow. Please understand that neither I, nor
mrs_horseman, were raised on a farm, nor did we study agriculture in school,
nor were we in FFA. However, we both
have had horses most of our lives, kept at a stable or a neighbor's when we
were young, and later at our home for our entire married life. After having a family milk cow for more than
five years, I will say that cattle are much easier, and infinitely more
productive than horses.
First, you need pasture-with some source of water. A spring-fed pond is best, but anything from
a garden hose and a metal tank to a windmill and stock tank will work. How much pasture is entirely dependent on
your local climate. In the South we can
keep a dairy cow and her calf year-round, without hay, on just a few
acres. In the West you need to have many
acres and/or feed hay. In the North you probably
also need a barn and hay storage, or a small silo, to get through the winters,
but we have no experience with this situation.
Your county Ag Extension office is a great resource for these
calculations, testing the soil, etc. If
you are in Wisconsin, ask a Cheese Head.
Second, you must have time, man-power, and passion 365 days
per year, often twice a day. On our
little farm, this comes primarily in the form of the dynamo known as
mrs_horseman, with assistance from the lil_horsemen, yours truly, and our
friend and neighbor, juan_caballero. It
is important to convey that being a female equestrian, mrs_horseman is blessed
with super-human endurance and strength, as well as a burning desire to spend
vast amounts of time in the barn...bordering on insanity...aka horse crazy. If it is not already obvious to you, animals
need to be attended to every morning and every evening. If a cow does not have a calf and needs to be
milked, and is not milked, it is very bad.
Having a hand like juan_caballero to fill in for us several times a
month is absolutely critical, and surprisingly easy to arrange, when one
realizes how valuable fresh-raw milk is in today's world. However, please understand, the time
commitment is a very good thing, as it teaches us real responsibility (especially
important for kids), which leads to huge amounts of self-esteem (important for
stay-at-home mothers), eventually gratitude (important for happiness), and periodically
when taking care of the animals we can even experience complete bliss. It goes right back to the Bastiat and Epicurus
quotes, above.
You will need to have fencing. If you have horses that share pasture, like
we do, then three-board rail fences work just fine, as long as you don't have a
bull on one side and a cow on the other.
You do not need barbed wire or hot wire.
Our cows have always been very domesticated, the never jump the fence,
and are not prone to damaging the fence, especially relative to horses.
You may need to feed hay.
Horse hay and cow hay are two different things. Horse hay needs to be kept dry. Cattle hay is found sitting out in the rain,
and is much cheaper. You can have a big
round bale loaded into the back of a pickup truck, and roll it out into the
pasture. Buy one of the roundbale hay feeders. You
lift it over the round bale to keep the cow from shitting, pissing, and
standing in her food, and this dramatically cuts your feed cost. We can pick up a round bale today for $65 and
it would last our cow about a month.
When you buy your family milk cow, get her just before she
calves, or just days after she calves.
It needs to be her first or second calf.
She and the calf will probably cost you as much as $2,000. At first, the calf keeps you from having too
much milk for your family, and you can separate them at night, and thus only
need to milk once in the morning. If you
have a dual-purpose breed of cow, and mate her to a beef bull, then when the
calf eventually goes off to freezer camp it will provide your family all the grass-fed
hormone-free beef it needs for a year.
About once a year you will need to either artificially
inseminate your cow, have someone AI her for you, or take her to visit a bull. NEWSFLASH: Cows only produce milk after they
give birth. The trick is determining
when she is in heat. If she is trying to
mount her calf, the dog, or you, then she is in heat. If she is mooing all night long, then she is
in heat. It is that simple.
You need a stainless steel bucket for milking, a plastic
bucket or a stool to sit on, and a place to tie her. It helps if you feed her a little treat at
milking time. Our cow gets the ends and
tops of vegetables, fruit rinds, banana peels, etc. Remember the lesson from Napoleon
Dynamite...no onions or garlic. Hamby
Dairy Supply has everything you need such as teat wipes, teat dip, strip cup,
stainless filter and paper filters, cleaning brushes, and soap.
You may eventually decide to build a stanchion for your milking parlor like I did...
Your hands will get stronger milking by hand, and it is faster because there iss less clean up. A Surge Bucket Milker with vacuum pump, like
the modern conveniences of a refrigerator and chest freezer, are not absolutely
necessary, but very convenient and very expensive. They do work incredibly well.
Order two dozen one-gallon glass jugs and metal lids at
Specialty Bottle's website. They can be
cleaned and sterilized with a normal cycle in your kitchen dishwasher.
When the milk sits in the refrigerator for a day the cream
will rise to the top. Use a stainless
ladle to skim it. Fresh, real, heavy
cream in a cup of french-press coffee is heavenly. Whipped it is absolutely sinful. This is more of that epicurean stuff.
For making butter you will need a butter churn like this one available at
Lehmans (we cheat and use our MagiMix), a wire-mesh wood-rim sieve, and a
wooden butter paddle. Ceramic butter
crocks and molds are nice to have, but you can also just wrap the butter in wax
paper and put it in the freezer.
For making cheese, it is important to use only stainless
steel pots and utensils. You will be
able to purchase all the recipe books, cheesecloth, rennet, molds, presses, wax,
etc. from Ricki at New England Cheese Making Supply.
If you want to do it all yourselves, butchering equipment
and supplies include a cold place to hang the carcass, gun, hoist, spreader,
hanging hooks, skinning knife, butcher knife, sharpening stone, steel hone, shovel
and garden for the offal, butcher saw, meat grinder, several large plastic
buckets, butcher paper, freezer tape, and a marking pen. Alternatively, load the heifer or steer in the
trailer and driver to the butchers. Your meat will be correctly aged, butchered, and ready in a few weeks.
If you have read this far, then you may also be interested
in my article on killing fascists by raising rabbits.
Happy New Year, and peace be with you!
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Guinea fowl are the noisiest things around, and they never stop- they are really bad watch-creatures, and cry wolf all the time. Large dogs that only bark at strangers are better, and they have teeth. Horses are also good warning creatures if you pay attenton to them- they will point out intruders even before dogs will.
Just as importantly, a guinea hen can clear an acre of land of deer ticks (and thus reduce the otherwise increased possibility of contracting lyme disease because one spending so much more time in the GREAT OUTDOORS...)
Guinea fowl are loud and stupid, and love to roam. Other than those pain the ass traits I would agree, they are right up there with a German Shepard. That said, a dog knows better than to bark at all hours of the night and early morning unless there is a threat. Guinea fowl, not so much due to the second reason I listed.
Awesome article HH! God Bless. Sure good to see other farm minded folk here. The old man used to make me help him AI all his cows when I was growing up. Calving season is always fun too, sometimes with one arm up the old girls birth canal makes for a tiring work out but always worth it when the calf comes out healthy.
Cattle is for when you're the boss, he ain't the boss. I figured that out a while ago when I saw that he kept his chickens in little condos he built in the suburbs. We can all dream. Raising lamb is a better choice.
Buy your milk. If you insist on eating meat, the rabbit is by far the most efficient choice. According to the theists, we're ALWAYS at the "end of times" (which makes no sense as there is no end to time).
They don't smash your feet neither.
My pet rock is much lower maintenance.
Mmmm... rock milk...
Agreed, but I wonder how much time & effort it is to post all-night sentries to watch over the cow? It's just not feasible if you're watching the homestead also.
This is where extended family and local friends (community) come into action. Strangers who look suspiciaous are noticed right away in rural areas. Lots of kids with their kids, cousins, uncles, aunties, in-laws, etc etc, make for a formidable group who will look after the cow, since every cow in the greater family is better for everyone. The rustlers might get away with stealing a cow if the Horsemen are an isolated nuclear family, but they will never escape from the posse of dozens who will come after them and kill them and cut their heads off and stick said heads on sharp sticks to warn other theives that this is a bad place to think about stealing from.
The Chinese solved this problem centuries ago. Living along the frontier, they developed fortified tower-towns where around 300 people live along with their livestock and food and water stores, sort of like a cross between a stadium and a fort.
http://www.easytourchina.com/images/Photo/fujian-tulou-china-s-ancient-e...
A star-fort town would be ideal, since it would provide protection against RPGs and light artillery in addition to small arms, while providing a nice place to live:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D8N4FRak4C0/Uq35AN3bhiI/AAAAAAABpH0/4mf-FqCZqF...(1).jpg
Supposedly, around 100 people (men?) is about the optimal size for a community for everyone to really know each other well and have a functioning society without all the wastefulness of having non-productive specialists like police, firemen, and beaurucrats.
Trying to plan for TEOTWAWKI with just a family of four seems kind of pointless to me, unless you run off to the middle of nowhere like these people:
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/for-40-years-this-russian-family-w...
A few toe-popper mines would be helpful. The guard dogs are going to need food, too (mmmm rustler-burgers for the Caucasian Mountain Dogs) - so come on over you rustlers! My dogs are hungry! :)