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Why Is The Fed Hiring An "Emergency Preparedness Specialist Familiar With DHS Directives"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

A few weeks ago, we reported that for some still unexplained reason, the US Treasury is ordering "survival kits" to its employees overseeing the federal banking system. To wit:

The Department of Treasury is spending $200,000 on survival kits for all of its employees who oversee the federal banking system, according to a new solicitation. As FreeBeacon reports, survival kits will be delivered to every major bank in the United States and includes a solar blanket, food bar, water-purification tablets, and dust mask (among other things). The question, obviously, is just what do they know that the rest of us don't?

We still don't know why. But what makes things even more surprising, and confusing, is that two days before the survival kit RFP soliciation became public on December 4, 2014, a just as curious notice was blasted by the Fed's recruiting Twitter account:

So the Fed is hiring not just any "emergency preparedness specialist" but one familiar with DHS directives? Here are the details of the position located in Washington, DC:

Position Description

 

The Emergency Preparedness & Response Specialist is a professional in the field of emergency preparedness.  This individual serves as the coordinator in the Management Division (MGT Div.) for emergency preparedness, encompassing the development, coordination, and implementation of: unified planning, disaster preparedness, response and recovery, policies and procedures, emergency preparedness and exercise program training for Board staff, and coordination with other federal departments and local agencies such as the Metropolitan Police Department (MDP), District of Columbia Fire and Emergency Medical Services (DC FEMS), Joint Terrorism Task Force (JTTF), Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Federal Protective Service (FPS), Technical Support Working Group (TSWG) and Neighborhood Planning Committee (NPC). Responsible for expanding the Board's emergency preparedness training and education programs, and assisting with the development of preparedness policies, and providing technical guidance. Responsible for upkeep and maintenance of the Board s Hazardous Materials Response Team (HMRT) training, equipment, and response program, and is responsible for coordinating operational emergency response efforts for the MGT Div.

The Board has a Hazardous Materials Response Team? Comes as news to us.

As for what skills are required:

The position requires a bachelor's degree in a relevant field or equivalent work experience plus five years of responsible work experience in the field.  A recognized expert in emergency preparedness and has working knowledge of Department of Homeland Security directives. Work experience within this field must include work at an interdepartmental or interagency level that includes on-line education development, training, emergency evacuation scenario development and training, and knowledge of fire protection best practices.  Must have working knowledge of National Incident Management Structure and Integrated Command Structure.  Highly involved in emergency preparedness planning across functional areas, coordinating emergency response actions and involvement at various levels of the ICS/NIMS structure.  Experience in developing emergency preparedness training, proficient in writing policies and directives in emergency preparedness, demonstrated ability to conduct vulnerability assessments, fire and life-safety protection, coordinate in-house and public outreach.  Strong interpersonal skills and the ability to effectively communicate with all levels of Board staff and external agencies, as well as strong written and oral communication skills preferred.  A demonstrated commitment to a strong customer service philosophy.  The individual must be able to maintain a secret clearance.

 

FR 26 requires a bachelor's degree in emergency management, occupational safety and health, fire safety, industrial hygiene, or environmental health or equivalent work and field experience plus seven years of increasing responsibilities in the profession.  Scenario and real-world work experience that involved Incident Command (IC), emergency preparedness, response, and evacuation at the interdepartmental or interagency level preferred.  Experience and knowledge of fire and life safety practices desired utilizing National Fire Protection association (NFPA) standards and best practices.  Proficient and accomplished public speaker in the development, implementation, and delivery of formal and informal multimedia training programs and instruction that include classroom, field exercises, and on-line training. Must have proven experience in developing and implementing a hazardous materials emergency response program.  Certification and training under the National Incident Management Structure (NIMS) and FEMA/DHS Incident Command System (ICS) required.  Pertinent certification to the Hazardous Materials Technician level with HazMat Safety Officer Certification desired.

The Fed does not discriminate:

We are an Equal Opportunity Employer and do not discriminate against applicants due to race, ethnicity, gender, veteran status, or on the basis of disability or any other federal, state or local protected class.

And perhaps most ironically:

  • Employment Status: Temporary

Or, as the BLS defines it, "permanent", net of seasonal adjustments.

The only question is why does the Fed - a uniformly safe institution, where economists engage in deep contemplation and decide how much of the US deficit they will monetize - need a person with these qualifications?

 

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Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:20 | 5609796 Dubaibanker
Dubaibanker's picture

Because the shit is about to hit the fan!

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:20 | 5609805 Truther
Truther's picture

Get ready to rumble folks.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:24 | 5609817 Dubaibanker
Dubaibanker's picture

The guys with the money are going to need a lot more guns....that's why!

Bring it on bitchez!

The Fight Club is just getting started when the protector needs to be protected!

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:29 | 5609840 pods
pods's picture

OH SHIT, the Ctrl-P is stuck!

Call the Emergency Response Specialist!

Seriously, is the Fed part of the government?  That want ad sounds like to came from government.

pods

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:33 | 5609860 Jeff the Terrible
Jeff the Terrible's picture

George Carlin: "Fuckem'..... Fuck them all."

 

http://y2u.be/VI6tBwVjyOY

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:38 | 5609884 max2205
max2205's picture

Ask the permanent  Blimp over Md

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:48 | 5609939 Hobo Sapien
Hobo Sapien's picture

captain beefheart: the blimp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpA4XpnnI_U

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:01 | 5609989 BuddyEffed
BuddyEffed's picture

As if the Fed doesn't already know who they are hiring for the position. I suspect they wrote the job description based on the person they wanted to push in front of the media at the time of their choosing.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:03 | 5610000 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Exactly who would be upset with the FED .gov criminals located in D.C.?

Certainly none of their cohorts in crime on Wall Street.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:18 | 5610060 linniepar
linniepar's picture

Picked up my 4x4 bug out mobile today. Prove me right, 2015!

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:34 | 5610123 bob_stl
bob_stl's picture

And here the gov tries to paint preppers as nut jobs. The gov hoards gold and ammunition, but you preppers on this board are wackos!

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 17:00 | 5610203 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

...but you preppers on this board are wackos!

I am not really a survivalist.  I am a thrivalist.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 17:39 | 5610308 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Employment Status : Temporary

Due to the Feds help all US jobs now fall into this category

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 19:16 | 5610693 Save_America1st
Wed, 12/31/2014 - 19:56 | 5610795 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

The answer is simple and found in American history. Despite the proclamations of Glenn Beck and others, it was not Woodrow Wilson but the creation of the nation state within the American state by bureaucrats and wannabe local dictators at the local, state, and Federal level:

Blame Wisconsin
Wed, 12/31/2014 - 20:39 | 5610908 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

hedgeless is interviewing for that job

how do I know?

had to write the recommendation letter

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 00:57 | 5611448 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

10 square miles.

For those who wish to contribute viable letters of recommendation, please address them to 'Ten Cubic Miles' with a self-addressed, stamped envelope.

Thank you for your contributions.

P.B.S.

(Next up on the P.B.S., our 'contributions' to 'public broadcasting' are showcased, by the Jingoistic re-broadcasting of a family favorite called 'Sesame Street'. In THIS episode, our characters 'Bert' and 'Ernie' decide whether to be individualistic contributors to the conspiritorial family,; or simply 'play stupid' like pre-school idiots.)

 

 

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 06:51 | 5611813 winchester
winchester's picture

if i sell hammers and nails and my opponents sell glue, i will put in front that glue do not let object together on the wall, so they will stop glueing on wall and start nailing things instead.

 

say shtf is coming, every body will buy like crazy ( for nothing ) but they buy. that's what is all about, it is a psy ops you all fell in the trap.

 

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 10:08 | 5612014 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Yeah. I agree.

 

They totally destroyed the Economy so that the small population of the thrivalists would buy. Yeah. What a trap. What a PsyOp. That is really insidiously clever alright... 

 

I just can imagine them saying, "Now we have them right where we want them. They have to buy now, those greedy hoarding motherfuckers."

 

Now just how much more ludicrous can you become? 

 

LMAO.

 

I am really hoping that I am the dullard who missed your satire, and the joke is on me...for your sake.

 

(Good term HH...much better rephrasing of the term "survivalist". I am adding that to my vernacular today.)

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 23:57 | 5611348 Lore
Lore's picture

YES!  Fiat collapses are the inevitable product of the private central bank franchise.  The best 'preparation' is pre-emption.  END THE END.

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 13:55 | 5612467 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

While I agree the FRB should end. I still crack up when I see these posts. Why?

Because monetary cartels will still be inexistence. In other words, nothing really changes which is why we are simply repeating what has happened in the past. Boom - bust. Boom - bust. Rinse repeat. Rinse repeat.

I've downplayed bitcoin big time in the past and I'm still not a buyer. But at least those for bitcoins are trying to solve a problem that has vexed society for centuries.

Simply ending the FRB system won't solve the problem.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 17:32 | 5610372 polocko
polocko's picture

The gov is supposed to prep. and get the hell out of the way regarding everything else.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 22:18 | 5611155 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Central Bankers are absolutely sincere when they tell us that Gold is a "barbarous relic of a past age"; they just want it all for sentimental reasons. Or something like that.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 19:28 | 5610729 Pickleton
Pickleton's picture

Which is?

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:19 | 5610063 Gene8696
Gene8696's picture

The Shit has already hit the fan... It's trajectory is becoming clear.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 18:59 | 5610633 weburke
weburke's picture

In the washington post, around thanksgiving, the govt announced front page that - OTHER COUNTRIES, AND GROUPS, HAVE THE POWER TO DISRUPT POWER AND OTHER ESSENTIAL SERVICES-   due to whatever. 

perhaps they are referring to the so called =shellshock= problem.

http://blog.trendmicro.com/trendlabs-security-intelligence/patches-not-c...

http://phys.org/news/2014-09-cyber-experts-bash-bug.html

http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-29361794

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:22 | 5610051 knukles
knukles's picture

Probably planning to comply with one of the 21,000 new directive and regulations issued by the Hopey and Changey Administration over the last 8 years, one of which is that every significant other agency especially those not owned or managed by the goobermint on behalf of the banksters, must have on staff a temporary* disaster specialist not only conversant with the myriad of DHS regulations but has also Graduated form The OB&Cie School of Community Organizing.

*Temporary as they're the guy who gets to stand out front on the steps to hold back the unruly peasantry and thus, will not make it to the following morning.  Thus saving the gooberment full pension and post retirement healthcare benefits.

PS  Anybody taking this job, if not done to the banksters full and complete satisfaction, will be summarily dumped out of a high altitude airplane over ISIS held territory dressed in full pilot combat regalia.

PSS Come to think about it, Paugh William Shadow would fit in quite nicely, thank you very fucking much.  Well, mayhaps a bit over qualified, by available.

 http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-12-30/white-male-nyc-teacher-sues-ove...

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 01:10 | 5611463 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

I wonder what happened to the previous brain who had the job.  Probably saw some classified stuff, quit scared shitless, and is now prepping like crazy. 

Here is a nice tidbit to add to the mystery: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/dec/30/military-hardware-still-...

 

PS:...and who in the hell calls a kid "Paugh"?? 

 

Fri, 01/02/2015 - 12:53 | 5614997 SLIDINGINTOIT
SLIDINGINTOIT's picture

THE ADMINISTRATIONS, ARE ADMINISTRATIONS.

THEY ADMINISTRATE THE ORDERS.

THE ONES GIVING THE ORDERS ARE THE CORE ENEMY.

AND IF WE ALLOW THEM, THEY WILL CONTINUE TO RULE.

IF WE LET THEM DIVIDE TO CONQUER , WE WILL BE IN THE SAME BASIC SITUATION, AT THE OTHER END OF THIS.

 

THEY ARE THE CORE ENEMY , THE SCUM WHO OWN THE IMF, BIS, AND NON FEDERAL NO RESERVE.

________________________ NORMAN DODDS INTERVIEW

____________________AARON RUSSOS

_______________________KURT HASKELLS

__________________LARRY PINKNEY

______________________JOE BANNISTER

__________________________USE THE SEARCH BAR

______________________DO NOT LIVE THIS LIFE AS A COWARD.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 19:37 | 5610754 Mepaulus
Mepaulus's picture

"that's right, the mascara snake, fast and bulbous" 

Hobo Sapien, thanks for reminding me of Don Van, I just spent a most enjoyable hour on YouTube.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 22:46 | 5611205 Hobo Sapien
Hobo Sapien's picture

"A squid eating dough in a polyethelene bag is fast and bulbous, got me?"

Happy to be of service. :-)  Glad for the reconnect.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 22:41 | 5611199 Hobo Sapien
Hobo Sapien's picture

Max2205: I ought to clarify. I meant no criticism of your post with that link. It's just a great cut off a great album from a time that faced much of the mass psychosis we again find ourselves with today. I meant it as support.

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 11:34 | 5612142 max2205
max2205's picture

I am good with that

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:37 | 5609885 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture

Forget Ctrl-P. I'm guessing they're getting ready for Ctrl-Alt-Del.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:02 | 5609996 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Time to grab the scissors and get under the desk.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:13 | 5610043 NoDecaf
NoDecaf's picture

Yeah, here comes comes the angry mob with tire irons and road flares, time to break out the handy dandy survival kit.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:21 | 5610073 Ahoy Polloi
Ahoy Polloi's picture

I just fired 2 shotgun blasts in the air to ward off evil spirits... So I think I'm safe...

 

OH WAIT! My chamber is empty!!!!

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:27 | 5610105 toady
toady's picture

Dude! ALWAYS keep that chamber loaded!

Pull the mag early if you must, but keep one in the spout AT ALL TIMES!

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 17:02 | 5610255 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Yessir.  One is in the spout on my hip right now.  Keep one chambered and keep it on your person at all times.  Not in a bag, but on your person.

 

And I just flung about 100 arrows from a bow that I'm making today.  I'm going to try to shave another ~3/4 oz off the ends, and cut some water shoots off of my pear trees for arrows.  When there are is no more ammo, I'll be able to fling sticks, with or without industrial society.  I think I'm going to try my hand at an atl atl eventually.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 18:24 | 5610553 Ahoy Polloi
Ahoy Polloi's picture

I would give you both +1000 if I could

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 18:30 | 5610572 Overfed
Overfed's picture

I've always been fascinated with atlatls. Gonna have to make one someday.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 18:40 | 5610599 Implied Violins
Implied Violins's picture

I've been saving feces and treating it with red food coloring. It won't kill anyone, but I can guarantee a clear perimeter...from there, my 7.62x54 will do the rest.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 19:12 | 5610673 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

ingenuity...I like it

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 01:18 | 5611475 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

As Vice-Potus, I always tell my wifey to be ready to fire over their heads (should the need arise). Just last night, I said, 'Tipper, you should be prepared for...' (SHIT. My name's not Al!)  REDUX:

Just last night, I said, 'Nancy, the seven deadliest words in government are...'

IMPEACH BARACK OBAMA AND THEN PRESIDENT BIDEN!

We LAUGHED so LOUD...

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:43 | 5610167 unrulian
unrulian's picture

That's why you need a semi with Briley magazine extenders

http://www.briley.com/berettaa400extreme.aspx

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 19:12 | 5610676 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

Destroying the FEDRES give me a semi...does that count?

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 18:56 | 5610630 NeedtoSecede
NeedtoSecede's picture

 

 

 

Maybe the CIA will issue this guy the same fake mustache and glasses they issue all their operatives working in Moscow.  That way he can make his escape with SHTF.  Worked real well for that dude in Moscow a couple months back...  Tyler's has there been any news about that "operative" by the way? 

What a cluster fuck of scumbags in the District of Corruption.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:13 | 5610046 Withdrawn Sanction
Withdrawn Sanction's picture

"Seriously, is the Fed part of the government? That want ad sounds like to came from government."

The BOG is part of the government.  The 12 (there's that no. again) district banks are private institutions.

 

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 17:05 | 5610268 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

I would describe it as quasi-private.  Privately held, largely unaccountable, but it supposedly (emphasis on supposedly) serves a public purpose, not to mention that it is chartered by the US gov.  

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 19:15 | 5610684 Save_America1st
Wed, 12/31/2014 - 22:14 | 5611144 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

You know, that's a really good idea. Preferably, before they end us.

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 01:28 | 5611481 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Put your wish on the wishlist of the things that our forefathers SHOULD have done.

Think of it as '20/20 hindsight'.

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 19:07 | 5613308 SLIDINGINTOIT
SLIDINGINTOIT's picture

THEY OWN THE GOVERNMENT.

THEY ARE LEAD BY THE ROTHCHILDS AND IMMEDIATE ASSOCIATES.

THEY ORDERED 9/11.

AND THEY WORSHIP LUCIFER.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:55 | 5609974 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Interesting.

But more than likely they got some edict mandating DHS compliance for those dealing with the government...contractors, agencies, and controlling bureaucracies.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:48 | 5610190 Abitdodgie
Abitdodgie's picture

Did you know all 911 dispachers have now to be armed , whats that about.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 18:17 | 5610524 Harry Balzak
Harry Balzak's picture

Are you serious?  

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 20:44 | 5610920 xavi1951
xavi1951's picture

Oh my Lord!  Next thing youknow they will be giving guns to cops!

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 22:13 | 5611141 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Sounds like simple insanity to me; but what do I know.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 23:36 | 5611312 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

The bankers are well hidden. We don't even know what they look like. Aside from Yellen, Dimon, Blankfein and a few others, how many would you recognize if you ran into them? When the hunt begins, the real parasites will blend into the crowd effortlessly, because nobody actually knows who they are. Cops will wear civilian uniforms, while moving their families out of the state and country. Ordinary people will be too busy punching eachother to deal with real culprits. Same as it ever was.

We need some form of a registry - a dangerous "fedophile" list.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 23:40 | 5611326 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture
Why Is The Fed Hiring An "Emergency Preparedness Specialist Familiar With DHS Directives"... Perhaps their just a bunch of "Dumb Asses?"
Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:38 | 5609895 magnumpk
magnumpk's picture

Duck and cover.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:09 | 5610030 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

It's all Pure Fear Theater.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 17:11 | 5610304 Usurious
Usurious's picture

 

 

from yesterday's David Stockman article........

 

''So the cliff-diving price action here is not just another commodity cycle, but instead is a proxy for the fracturing global credit bubble.....''

 

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-12-30/commodity-prices-are-cliff-divi...

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 19:04 | 5610656 Tek Kinkreet
Tek Kinkreet's picture

Colonics for everyone! again

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:24 | 5609821 ZH Snob
ZH Snob's picture

the only thing surprising to me is that the almighty fed is willingly subservient to the DHS.  guess the DHS will indeed become the american Gestapo.

 

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:36 | 5609875 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture

Correction: the DHS is the American Gestapo.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:42 | 5609909 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

DHS = Devil's Hiring Service

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:59 | 5609988 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Only hookers with contacts in the field of cocaine procurement need apply.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:43 | 5610173 Fun Facts
Fun Facts's picture

DHS founded by Michael Chertoff = Israeli national

Father Gershon Chertoff = Israeli Rabbi

Mother: Livia Eisen = one of the first agents in Israel's Mossad.

Chertoff translated to Russian = son of the devil

Fri, 01/02/2015 - 18:08 | 5616379 SLIDINGINTOIT
SLIDINGINTOIT's picture

THE ROTHCHILDS RUN THE GAME.

ITS NOT THE "JEWS". MOST JEWISH FOLKS ARE UNDER THE SAME MIND CONTROL AS ANYONE ELSE IN "WESTERN"/"FIRST WORLD"  SOCIETY.

ITS THE CREEPS THAT CLAIM TO BE JEWS , BUT IN REALITY WORSHIP AND SERVE LUCIFER, WHO THEY "THINK" IS GOD.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 18:35 | 5610581 ZH Snob
ZH Snob's picture

agreed.

why would a private corporation like the federal reserve be under the protection/juristriction of a real government institution like the dhs?  shouldn't they be required to pay for their own security?  but of course we all know that they are conventiantly private when it comes to stealing a sovereigns assets and governmental when they need protection from the peasants.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:44 | 5610171 All Risk No Reward
All Risk No Reward's picture

You have that backwards.  The Debt Money Monopoly financed DHS into existence.

If you think they did so that it could boss them around and control their agenda then you think incorrectly.

The hand that gives is ABOVE the hand that takes.

Deht Money Monsters run the world - the governments and corporations they finances are simply fronts to keep the people confused as to the real enemy.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:25 | 5609823 pelican
pelican's picture

or some fatass retired and they need a new fatass.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:32 | 5609855 prymythirdeye
prymythirdeye's picture

Comment of the day...Too funny!

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:53 | 5609965 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

I'm running with this premis as well...

I can't imagine, no matter how much preparation and training these fucking idiots spend millions on, that they wouldn't just fold and abandon their assigned cubical.

No.. just an out of control dept. with an out of control budget that needs justification...

 

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:24 | 5610093 NoDecaf
NoDecaf's picture

A space blanket and granola bar aren't enough? What kind of coward would abandon their post when the leadership is going all out to equip them to FIGHT!

Stand your ground you fat-ass fed desk jockeys!!

ctrl+P until you DIE!!!

make us pry your keyboard from your cold dead fingers!!!!

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 19:26 | 5610720 mbutler101
mbutler101's picture

Didn't the Fed also remodel the building recently and seal all of the windows up near ground level? I think I recall an article pointing that out...I think all the dots are lining up. The ones who don't get the memo to take the day off on the day of the 'reset' are the ones that will be sacrificed. The looks on their faces when they realize this...PRICELESS!

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 20:13 | 5610826 klockwerks
klockwerks's picture

Yes, all 1st floor windows. That was here on ZH not long ago.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 21:58 | 5611110 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

"The ones who don't get the memo to take the day off on the day of the 'reset' are the ones that will be sacrificed."

Kinda like 911, no?

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 12:58 | 5612316 whirling tword ...
whirling tword freedom's picture

I work next to the fed building in Dallas.....  they have these giant granite balls that look like decorations that actully keep cars from ramming the building too.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:25 | 5610092 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

You would think if someone was retiring they would already have his replacement being trained by the retiree.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 18:21 | 5610539 Harry Balzak
Harry Balzak's picture

Why?  Cruising porn is easy.  

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 14:11 | 5612510 Lolitsa
Lolitsa's picture

...that is willing to die with the building when it's "pulled."

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:25 | 5609831 JohnnyHenriksen
JohnnyHenriksen's picture

Because 2015 is the year the shit hits the fan. Better stack Au, Ag and Pb while you still can.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0GDcA-gqY4

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:54 | 5609962 Ahoy Polloi
Ahoy Polloi's picture

 "Why Is The Fed Hiring An "Emergency Preparedness Specialist Familiar With DHS Directives"

 

Because... OBAMA

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 20:42 | 5610915 Pickleton
Pickleton's picture

In regards to that video.   Ummm, I don't think so. 50-60 yards, sure.  75-100 yards, MAYBE.  152 yards with a pistol and the dude isn't even stabilized on anything, OH FUCK NO.   

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 23:10 | 5611258 effendi
effendi's picture

Why not at 152 yards? There is a guy who hit a target on the second shot at 1,000 yards on Youtube in a standing position with a handgun.

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 13:54 | 5612465 Pickleton
Pickleton's picture

How many MILLIONS to 1 shot is that?  Given the ease of faking crap, I'm just not buying it.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:28 | 5609839 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

I thought they already had their passports,

  and the flight chartered to Israel.  Vat gifs?

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:39 | 5609899 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

Can the Israeli Iron Dome stop a nuclear missile?

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 18:28 | 5610564 Five8Charlie
Five8Charlie's picture

How many can it stop?

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 18:26 | 5610558 Dragon HAwk
Dragon HAwk's picture

Yeah not my Choice of Safe Havens.. Blue fin Missouri population 20 is more like it  and yes that name is Fake. for security reasons, long live the Outbacks

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 17:15 | 5610307 noben
noben's picture

< Because the Entrepreneur with the right Connections and sales pitch got the contract

< Because they read ZH and have finally succumbed

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 19:37 | 5610753 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

No, because blood and lies and debt run like a river underneath everything and we are a people gripped by and ruled by fear.

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 05:34 | 5611769 omniversling
omniversling's picture

Long clipboards!

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 15:11 | 5612635 nuke ISIS now
nuke ISIS now's picture

Get the Jack Daniels ready bitchesz...will need it as a disinfectant, and/or tranquilizer when the excrement is placed upon the spinning blade...in the very near fuckture

"we paralysed some folks"

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:19 | 5609797 Glass Steagall
Glass Steagall's picture

We prepared some folks...

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:36 | 5609874 indaknow
indaknow's picture

Still funny. lol

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:21 | 5609800 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

I don't know what they are planning for, but it will be blamed on Putin. 

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:22 | 5609810 Truther
Truther's picture

Lots of choices here. NK, Syria, China, Iran..... Zimbabwe?

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:35 | 5609879 Farmer Joe in B...
Farmer Joe in Brooklyn's picture

Keeping all options open....

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:21 | 5609804 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

Now I feel so much safer knowing that the stormtroopers are preparing.....

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:23 | 5609822 Truther
Truther's picture

George Carlin: "Fuckem'..... Fuck them all."

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:44 | 5609994 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

DEATH TO THE MONEYCHANGERS.

all of them.

"Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. “It is written,” he said to them, "My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it ‘a den of theives."

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 20:24 | 5610870 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

How many so-called 'Christians' totally disregard this 'deed' of Jesus? American 'Christians' will be denied God's Kingdom for simple matters such as this...

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:41 | 5610158 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

No, I think that was Tony Montana's line.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:32 | 5609857 BustainMovealota
BustainMovealota's picture

Yeah, and its not going to be in your favor.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:22 | 5609807 maskone909
maskone909's picture

disclaimer:

 

must bring your own brown shirt and mauser

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 17:29 | 5610358 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

Yea but they provide the ammo.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:23 | 5609812 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

<= Fed redoubles printing until debt jubilee, Zimbabwe style.

<= Fed will allow deflation, resulting in banking collapse and pitchforks.

 

Either way leads to the need for survival kits and disaster preparedness.

Another possibility would be the engineered decimation of the population in general.

The only outcome that would not require survival kits and disaster preparedness is Status Quo.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:25 | 5609826 himaroid
himaroid's picture

<---- 3. - fed will allow deflation until enough scream for them to go zimbabwe

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:25 | 5609827 maskone909
maskone909's picture

atlanticfirearms is selling used ak47's for 450

im going to get some of that

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:28 | 5609844 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

Don't forget the ammo and think in 1000 round increments.....

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 20:27 | 5610875 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

What about a 'Banking Holiday'? Got GOLD????

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:35 | 5609814 Counterpunch
Counterpunch's picture

My guess is their fear of 'zombies' with torches, pitchforks, and the odd Ar-15.

http://investmentwatchblog.com/the-new-york-federal-reserve-has-signaled...

http://www.washingtonsblog.com/2014/12/big-banks-conspire-bp-oil-company...

See you in the Hope Camps.

 

 

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:23 | 5609819 Ruteger
Ruteger's picture

Get right with God while you still have the opportunity!

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:24 | 5609829 Truther
Truther's picture

Amen to that.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:53 | 5609966 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Are you encouraging people to do God's work.

But yes, you are correct although I find it sad that God is sought after only when we have impending emergencies rather than as the elixir of true life.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 20:30 | 5610877 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

If you speak from a 'literal' interpretation of the scriptures, it is YOU who are DOOMED...

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:29 | 5609841 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

strange behavior for a recovery

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:32 | 5609849 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

Depends on your definition of recovery, if it's 'a massive fucking' then things are going great.....

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:45 | 5609925 lester1
lester1's picture

Recovery??

You call the FED's money printing mania a recovery??

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:57 | 5609971 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Yes Lester, this is a pure recovery, people are wealthier now then 6 years ago or 60 years ago.  We are approching an economic nirvania singularity,  where obama will walk across the Potomic shooting rainbows out is ass into Yellens open and eger mouth.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 19:42 | 5610769 Realname
Realname's picture

Rainbow creampies...I need a drink after that visual.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:28 | 5609842 wmbz
wmbz's picture

Because when this monetary time bomb blows the fuck up, it's gonna blow-up real good!

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:31 | 5609847 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

Ok, I'll try.

They'll need to be rehearsing some emergency drill, organized by this new guy, that will all of a sudden have to go "live", which will then be used as an excuse to take everyone's money?

Did I win?

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:31 | 5609850 YHC-FTSE
YHC-FTSE's picture

They read the comment section of ZH and they are scared, maybe? :)

Criminals are paranoid folk - it's the nature of their job.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:23 | 5610077 Withdrawn Sanction
Withdrawn Sanction's picture

"Criminals are paranoid folk "

That works, but it could also be projection.  They think b/c THEY stole their way to wealth, everyone else does likewise.

Either way, they're mentally ill.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 20:32 | 5610889 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

"Either way, they're mentally ill."

With BULLSEYES on their back....

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:33 | 5609852 seek
seek's picture

The hazardous materials response team is to deal with ink spills, of course.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:36 | 5609872 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

A better question might be to ask why the privately-owned Federal Reserve Bank is dinging the taxpayer for this functionary since the job is listed as  a .gov position.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:40 | 5609896 Counterpunch
Counterpunch's picture

Because a cabal of mostly European Jewish bankers, and a few American confederates, got the arrangement passed by a rump legislature on Christmas Eve about 101 years ago?

Are you completely unfamiliar with this matter?

http://www.globalresearch.ca/the-federal-reserve-cartel-the-eight-famili...

http://www.globalresearch.ca/who-owns-the-federal-reserve/10489

 

Go ahead - be clever.  Say something we haven't heard....

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:50 | 5609943 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

An sklava na nak tafaya.

The Fed is a private entity. It is billing this function to the taxpayer. I think that is wrong.

You apparently are okay with it.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:57 | 5609980 Counterpunch
Counterpunch's picture

A swing and a miss - but thanks for playing.

 

Chan urrainn do dhuine 'sambith seirbhis a dhéanamh do dhà mhaighstir.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:09 | 5610018 tarabel
tarabel's picture

Go ahead and say something we haven't heard before--such as "A swing and a miss - but thanks for playing"?

Be clever. "Chan urrainn do dhuine 'sambith seirbhis a dhéanamh do dhà mhaighstir."

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I do thank you for the compliment.

Now, as to the topic actualy at hand. Are you saying that it is okay for the Fed to hire help on the taxpayer's dime?

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:20 | 5610075 Counterpunch
Counterpunch's picture

Go back and read your OP and my reply to it, then try to determine how you came up with your follow up, which had nothing, at all, to do with what I wrote.

If you're going to pull inferences out of the air, it would help your position if not all of them were the sort of inanities you distributed in your last post, supra. 


Feel free to use your other accounts, if you feel it will lend your sheer verbiage some Potemkin significance.  Short of something rising to the level of a rejoinder to something I actually wrote, I fear your trolldeer games are mostly just a waste of my time - don't you?


kisses and hugs xxoo

and happy new year.

 

 

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 16:30 | 5610114 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

My trolldeer games?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you are the one working off of my original thought, not vice versa.

But, once again, I'll ask for a simple answer to a simple question. My original thought was that it was wrong for the Fed to be billing their help to the federal government. Do you feel that this is right or wrong?

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 17:05 | 5610271 centerline
centerline's picture

WTF?  This particular thread was completely fucked up.  Damn.  Like tripping over the doorstep.  No one actually got out of the building.

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 13:33 | 5612401 Dickweed Wang
Dickweed Wang's picture

Get a room!

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:35 | 5609878 Jack Burtan
Jack Burtan's picture

Just throwing that out there on a tweet for everyone to see ?

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:41 | 5609904 Truther
Truther's picture

As if the Fed trying to say: " And in your face bitchez", whatchu gonna do bout it?

I say what Carlin said: "Fuckem'... Fuck them all."

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:45 | 5609928 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

FED =. Feed Everyone Dollars

Thu, 01/01/2015 - 13:32 | 5612393 Dickweed Wang
Dickweed Wang's picture

FED = Fucking Evil Derivatives

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:37 | 5609881 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Hazardous materials?

They must be referring to a toxic derivatives meltdown.

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:39 | 5609888 T-NUTZ
T-NUTZ's picture

Why now?

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:46 | 5609906 T-NUTZ
T-NUTZ's picture

Can I  try "whatever happened to Ebola?" for $!000?

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:39 | 5609892 Farmer Joe in B...
Farmer Joe in Brooklyn's picture

When are we going to cut the bullshit and call the Fed what it is... 

the fourth branch of government

Wed, 12/31/2014 - 15:44 | 5609922 kowalli
kowalli's picture

the only branch of government

fixed for you

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