Why Is The Fed Hiring An "Emergency Preparedness Specialist Familiar With DHS Directives"

Tyler Durden's picture

A few weeks ago, we reported that for some still unexplained reason, the US Treasury is ordering "survival kits" to its employees overseeing the federal banking system. To wit:

The Department of Treasury is spending $200,000 on survival kits for all of its employees who oversee the federal banking system, according to a new solicitation. As FreeBeacon reports, survival kits will be delivered to every major bank in the United States and includes a solar blanket, food bar, water-purification tablets, and dust mask (among other things). The question, obviously, is just what do they know that the rest of us don't?

We still don't know why. But what makes things even more surprising, and confusing, is that two days before the survival kit RFP soliciation became public on December 4, 2014, a just as curious notice was blasted by the Fed's recruiting Twitter account:

So the Fed is hiring not just any "emergency preparedness specialist" but one familiar with DHS directives? Here are the details of the position located in Washington, DC:

Position Description


The Emergency Preparedness & Response Specialist is a professional in the field of emergency preparedness.  This individual serves as the coordinator in the Management Division (MGT Div.) for emergency preparedness, encompassing the development, coordination, and implementation of: unified planning, disaster preparedness, response and recovery, policies and procedures, emergency preparedness and exercise program training for Board staff, and coordination with other federal departments and local agencies such as the Metropolitan Police Department (MDP), District of Columbia Fire and Emergency Medical Services (DC FEMS), Joint Terrorism Task Force (JTTF), Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Federal Protective Service (FPS), Technical Support Working Group (TSWG) and Neighborhood Planning Committee (NPC). Responsible for expanding the Board's emergency preparedness training and education programs, and assisting with the development of preparedness policies, and providing technical guidance. Responsible for upkeep and maintenance of the Board s Hazardous Materials Response Team (HMRT) training, equipment, and response program, and is responsible for coordinating operational emergency response efforts for the MGT Div.

The Board has a Hazardous Materials Response Team? Comes as news to us.

As for what skills are required:

The position requires a bachelor's degree in a relevant field or equivalent work experience plus five years of responsible work experience in the field.  A recognized expert in emergency preparedness and has working knowledge of Department of Homeland Security directives. Work experience within this field must include work at an interdepartmental or interagency level that includes on-line education development, training, emergency evacuation scenario development and training, and knowledge of fire protection best practices.  Must have working knowledge of National Incident Management Structure and Integrated Command Structure.  Highly involved in emergency preparedness planning across functional areas, coordinating emergency response actions and involvement at various levels of the ICS/NIMS structure.  Experience in developing emergency preparedness training, proficient in writing policies and directives in emergency preparedness, demonstrated ability to conduct vulnerability assessments, fire and life-safety protection, coordinate in-house and public outreach.  Strong interpersonal skills and the ability to effectively communicate with all levels of Board staff and external agencies, as well as strong written and oral communication skills preferred.  A demonstrated commitment to a strong customer service philosophy.  The individual must be able to maintain a secret clearance.


FR 26 requires a bachelor's degree in emergency management, occupational safety and health, fire safety, industrial hygiene, or environmental health or equivalent work and field experience plus seven years of increasing responsibilities in the profession.  Scenario and real-world work experience that involved Incident Command (IC), emergency preparedness, response, and evacuation at the interdepartmental or interagency level preferred.  Experience and knowledge of fire and life safety practices desired utilizing National Fire Protection association (NFPA) standards and best practices.  Proficient and accomplished public speaker in the development, implementation, and delivery of formal and informal multimedia training programs and instruction that include classroom, field exercises, and on-line training. Must have proven experience in developing and implementing a hazardous materials emergency response program.  Certification and training under the National Incident Management Structure (NIMS) and FEMA/DHS Incident Command System (ICS) required.  Pertinent certification to the Hazardous Materials Technician level with HazMat Safety Officer Certification desired.

The Fed does not discriminate:

We are an Equal Opportunity Employer and do not discriminate against applicants due to race, ethnicity, gender, veteran status, or on the basis of disability or any other federal, state or local protected class.

And perhaps most ironically:

  • Employment Status: Temporary

Or, as the BLS defines it, "permanent", net of seasonal adjustments.

The only question is why does the Fed - a uniformly safe institution, where economists engage in deep contemplation and decide how much of the US deficit they will monetize - need a person with these qualifications?

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Dubaibanker's picture

Because the shit is about to hit the fan!

Truther's picture

Get ready to rumble folks.

Dubaibanker's picture

The guys with the money are going to need a lot more guns....that's why!

Bring it on bitchez!

The Fight Club is just getting started when the protector needs to be protected!

pods's picture

OH SHIT, the Ctrl-P is stuck!

Call the Emergency Response Specialist!

Seriously, is the Fed part of the government?  That want ad sounds like to came from government.


Jeff the Terrible's picture
Jeff the Terrible (not verified) pods Dec 31, 2014 3:33 PM

George Carlin: "Fuckem'..... Fuck them all."



max2205's picture

Ask the permanent  Blimp over Md

BuddyEffed's picture

As if the Fed doesn't already know who they are hiring for the position. I suspect they wrote the job description based on the person they wanted to push in front of the media at the time of their choosing.

Pure Evil's picture

Exactly who would be upset with the FED .gov criminals located in D.C.?

Certainly none of their cohorts in crime on Wall Street.

SoberOne's picture

Picked up my 4x4 bug out mobile today. Prove me right, 2015!

bob_stl's picture

And here the gov tries to paint preppers as nut jobs. The gov hoards gold and ammunition, but you preppers on this board are wackos!

SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Employment Status : Temporary

Due to the Feds help all US jobs now fall into this category

johngaltfla's picture

The answer is simple and found in American history. Despite the proclamations of Glenn Beck and others, it was not Woodrow Wilson but the creation of the nation state within the American state by bureaucrats and wannabe local dictators at the local, state, and Federal level:

Blame Wisconsin
SafelyGraze's picture

hedgeless is interviewing for that job

how do I know?

had to write the recommendation letter

MontgomeryScott's picture

10 square miles.

For those who wish to contribute viable letters of recommendation, please address them to 'Ten Cubic Miles' with a self-addressed, stamped envelope.

Thank you for your contributions.


(Next up on the P.B.S., our 'contributions' to 'public broadcasting' are showcased, by the Jingoistic re-broadcasting of a family favorite called 'Sesame Street'. In THIS episode, our characters 'Bert' and 'Ernie' decide whether to be individualistic contributors to the conspiritorial family,; or simply 'play stupid' like pre-school idiots.)



winchester's picture
winchester (not verified) MontgomeryScott Jan 1, 2015 6:51 AM

if i sell hammers and nails and my opponents sell glue, i will put in front that glue do not let object together on the wall, so they will stop glueing on wall and start nailing things instead.


say shtf is coming, every body will buy like crazy ( for nothing ) but they buy. that's what is all about, it is a psy ops you all fell in the trap.


Tall Tom's picture

Yeah. I agree.


They totally destroyed the Economy so that the small population of the thrivalists would buy. Yeah. What a trap. What a PsyOp. That is really insidiously clever alright... 


I just can imagine them saying, "Now we have them right where we want them. They have to buy now, those greedy hoarding motherfuckers."


Now just how much more ludicrous can you become? 




I am really hoping that I am the dullard who missed your satire, and the joke is on me...for your sake.


(Good term HH...much better rephrasing of the term "survivalist". I am adding that to my vernacular today.)

Lore's picture

YES!  Fiat collapses are the inevitable product of the private central bank franchise.  The best 'preparation' is pre-emption.  END THE END.

sessinpo's picture

While I agree the FRB should end. I still crack up when I see these posts. Why?

Because monetary cartels will still be inexistence. In other words, nothing really changes which is why we are simply repeating what has happened in the past. Boom - bust. Boom - bust. Rinse repeat. Rinse repeat.

I've downplayed bitcoin big time in the past and I'm still not a buyer. But at least those for bitcoins are trying to solve a problem that has vexed society for centuries.

Simply ending the FRB system won't solve the problem.

polocko's picture

The gov is supposed to prep. and get the hell out of the way regarding everything else.

SAT 800's picture

Central Bankers are absolutely sincere when they tell us that Gold is a "barbarous relic of a past age"; they just want it all for sentimental reasons. Or something like that.

Gene8696's picture

The Shit has already hit the fan... It's trajectory is becoming clear.

weburke's picture

In the washington post, around thanksgiving, the govt announced front page that - OTHER COUNTRIES, AND GROUPS, HAVE THE POWER TO DISRUPT POWER AND OTHER ESSENTIAL SERVICES-   due to whatever. 

perhaps they are referring to the so called =shellshock= problem.




knukles's picture

Probably planning to comply with one of the 21,000 new directive and regulations issued by the Hopey and Changey Administration over the last 8 years, one of which is that every significant other agency especially those not owned or managed by the goobermint on behalf of the banksters, must have on staff a temporary* disaster specialist not only conversant with the myriad of DHS regulations but has also Graduated form The OB&Cie School of Community Organizing.

*Temporary as they're the guy who gets to stand out front on the steps to hold back the unruly peasantry and thus, will not make it to the following morning.  Thus saving the gooberment full pension and post retirement healthcare benefits.

PS  Anybody taking this job, if not done to the banksters full and complete satisfaction, will be summarily dumped out of a high altitude airplane over ISIS held territory dressed in full pilot combat regalia.

PSS Come to think about it, Paugh William Shadow would fit in quite nicely, thank you very fucking much.  Well, mayhaps a bit over qualified, by available.


fockewulf190's picture

I wonder what happened to the previous brain who had the job.  Probably saw some classified stuff, quit scared shitless, and is now prepping like crazy. 

Here is a nice tidbit to add to the mystery: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/dec/30/military-hardware-still-...


PS:...and who in the hell calls a kid "Paugh"?? 










________________________ NORMAN DODDS INTERVIEW

____________________AARON RUSSOS

_______________________KURT HASKELLS

__________________LARRY PINKNEY

______________________JOE BANNISTER

__________________________USE THE SEARCH BAR

______________________DO NOT LIVE THIS LIFE AS A COWARD.

Mepaulus's picture

"that's right, the mascara snake, fast and bulbous" 

Hobo Sapien, thanks for reminding me of Don Van, I just spent a most enjoyable hour on YouTube.

Hobo Sapien's picture

"A squid eating dough in a polyethelene bag is fast and bulbous, got me?"

Happy to be of service. :-)  Glad for the reconnect.

Hobo Sapien's picture

Max2205: I ought to clarify. I meant no criticism of your post with that link. It's just a great cut off a great album from a time that faced much of the mass psychosis we again find ourselves with today. I meant it as support.

crazybob369's picture

Forget Ctrl-P. I'm guessing they're getting ready for Ctrl-Alt-Del.

McMolotov's picture

Time to grab the scissors and get under the desk.

NoDecaf's picture

Yeah, here comes comes the angry mob with tire irons and road flares, time to break out the handy dandy survival kit.

Ahoy Polloi's picture

I just fired 2 shotgun blasts in the air to ward off evil spirits... So I think I'm safe...


OH WAIT! My chamber is empty!!!!

toady's picture

Dude! ALWAYS keep that chamber loaded!

Pull the mag early if you must, but keep one in the spout AT ALL TIMES!

El Vaquero's picture

Yessir.  One is in the spout on my hip right now.  Keep one chambered and keep it on your person at all times.  Not in a bag, but on your person.


And I just flung about 100 arrows from a bow that I'm making today.  I'm going to try to shave another ~3/4 oz off the ends, and cut some water shoots off of my pear trees for arrows.  When there are is no more ammo, I'll be able to fling sticks, with or without industrial society.  I think I'm going to try my hand at an atl atl eventually.

Ahoy Polloi's picture

I would give you both +1000 if I could

Overfed's picture

I've always been fascinated with atlatls. Gonna have to make one someday.

Implied Violins's picture

I've been saving feces and treating it with red food coloring. It won't kill anyone, but I can guarantee a clear perimeter...from there, my 7.62x54 will do the rest.

MontgomeryScott's picture

As Vice-Potus, I always tell my wifey to be ready to fire over their heads (should the need arise). Just last night, I said, 'Tipper, you should be prepared for...' (SHIT. My name's not Al!)  REDUX:

Just last night, I said, 'Nancy, the seven deadliest words in government are...'



unrulian's picture

That's why you need a semi with Briley magazine extenders


Save_America1st's picture

Destroying the FEDRES give me a semi...does that count?

NeedtoSecede's picture




Maybe the CIA will issue this guy the same fake mustache and glasses they issue all their operatives working in Moscow.  That way he can make his escape with SHTF.  Worked real well for that dude in Moscow a couple months back...  Tyler's has there been any news about that "operative" by the way? 

What a cluster fuck of scumbags in the District of Corruption.

Withdrawn Sanction's picture

"Seriously, is the Fed part of the government? That want ad sounds like to came from government."

The BOG is part of the government.  The 12 (there's that no. again) district banks are private institutions.


El Vaquero's picture

I would describe it as quasi-private.  Privately held, largely unaccountable, but it supposedly (emphasis on supposedly) serves a public purpose, not to mention that it is chartered by the US gov.