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Some Folks Were Short-Squeezed: "Soothing Statement" By Fed Sends Stocks Green For 2015

Tyler Durden's picture




 

You just have to laugh... oil is lower (though bounced at the close) and Greek debt is crashing and the mainstream media proclaims this idiotic ramp (driven by FOMC Minutes and Charlie Evans) as due to stability in crude and Europe... It's The Fed, Stupid!!

 

A gentle reminder... from The BIS in December - mocking Bullard...

Once again, on the heels of the turbulence, major central banks made soothing statements, suggesting that they might delay normalisation in light of evolving macroeconomic conditions.

 

Recent events, if anything, have highlighted once more the degree to which markets are relying on central banks: the markets' buoyancy hinges on central banks' every word and deed.

Which is so massively ironic that in the following month there were 3 Fed stick-saves!!!

 

Notice the Fed interventions are coming at smaller and smaller corrections... Bullard -10%, FOMC/Yellen -5.5%, Evans/FOMC Mins -3%

This is the 2nd biggest 2-day short-squeeze in 14 months... 2nd only to the one that occurred on the December FOMC meeting...

 

Which smashed stocks back into the green for 2015...

 

1400 point roundtrip in Dow...

 

Because oil stabilized (umm no!)

 

Or because Europe stabilized (umm no Greece crashed today)...

 

And even JPY carry couldnt keep up with equity exuiberance... stalling at 120.00

 

As rates also won't play along - still notably lower on the year...

 

Rates oveerall are down 10-12bps this week

 

The USDollar rose once again on EUR weakness but oince again USD sold off in the afternoon session...

 

Gold and silver down small along with copper as even crude saw lower vol...

 

And this happened in Crude...

 

Charts: Bloomberg

 

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Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:06 | 5638732 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

DOW 20,000...

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:09 | 5638740 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I think you're right, but do you think it will hit 18,000 before it hits 20,000?

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:15 | 5638773 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

The shorts will help it move faster when the trade gets crowded.  Bears need to stay in their den, stay out fo the cold and not go against the owners of the casino.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:01 | 5638991 Jeff the Terrible
Jeff the Terrible's picture

 

It is my understanding and my belief, and I intend to maintain this belif, that Harold Sachs, above all, stood for freedom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI6tBwVjyOY

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:24 | 5639066 max2205
max2205's picture

The last time we got all dirty Greek the Spy went up 50% in 18 months....strap on or strap in....

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 21:51 | 5639902 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

Peak Fed statements. Are they going to be talking everyday from now on? Maybe each member can each issue a staggered statement every hour of every trading day.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:21 | 5638781 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

"but do you think it will hit 18,000 before it hits 20,000?"

who cares...its all bullshit...

im gonna buy Silver every fucking week and could give a shit about the equity Fraud Markets.

phony paper profits for those dumb enough to stay in the MoneyChangers casino...

more REAL money for me and my family...

DEATH TO THE MONEYCHANGERS.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:39 | 5638884 thursday0451
thursday0451's picture

how did i never realize bullish is just an anagram of bullshit without the t?

 

bullshit

 

bullisht

 

bullish

 

tada! ? ?

 

guys i might have just figured out the stock market. bullshit makes it go up!

oh ho ho ho ho ho

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:33 | 5639101 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

It's all Bullshit!!!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:19 | 5639245 fuu
fuu's picture

Bearish = I Be Rash

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:01 | 5639400 Freedumb
Freedumb's picture

Bailout = Tabouli?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:39 | 5638889 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

For now it all sounds good to the ignorant, uninformed or those in denial.  The fact is the White House is playing a dangerous gam and kicking the can down the road.  Everyone knows this can't go on forever, its just that Obama doesn't want it to implode on his watch...he is concerned about his legacy.  At some point the monye printing, monumental additional debt and irresponsibility of our government will drive this over the edge.  Right now they only care if 51% of the people are happy...

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:20 | 5639051 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Long foam mattress toppers...

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 21:53 | 5639907 Fun Facts
Fun Facts's picture

long futons and macaroni

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:23 | 5639262 Babaloo
Babaloo's picture

I am alarmed that you (as of this moment) got 8 up votes because what you're saying makes zero sense and I am concerned for your sanity.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:21 | 5638818 Binko
Binko's picture

Why not 20,000,000? Then all the billionaires can be trillionaires! It's like magic. The rich get richer and then they get richer and then they get even more richer...(keep going infinitely).

Meanwhile back in the reality of average people everything at the supermarket costs more and comes in smaller packages while jobs pay less and treat you even more like shit than they used to. 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:12 | 5639027 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

"Meanwhile back in the reality of average people everything at the supermarket costs more and comes in smaller packages while jobs pay less and treat you even more like shit than they used to."

bingo...

"there is no spoon and there is no inflation."
Ben Yellen -

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:32 | 5638833 Praetorian Guard
Praetorian Guard's picture

Could be. I know FCX is shitting bricks right now. Heavily invested in oil and mining. In fact it appears a few south american nations have already instituted price caps on Cu at $3.00 even if it falls lower, along with quasi nationalizing of mines. Break even is around $2.50, after that shit unravels... The word for the day was "cut backs", which is code for layoffs, etc. Mining is going to get bumpy...

 

JOIN FOR FREE!!!! Everyone welcome!

www.gunsgrubandgold.com

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:35 | 5638863 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

It's not all Beer and skittles - I have a good friend who owns 3 gas stations. Gas maybe cheap but so cheap his turnover is down 30%. 30% less cash flowing through the Till causes some major problems. I said bullshit if gas is cheap people would by more. He said you would think so but when the size of the gas tank is 25 gallons they can't fit 26. What would you do if you had a 30 % pay cut? I guess that flows up stream to the wholesaler and then on to the Majors.

One day the Market will meet that beast called Reality

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:57 | 5639176 Money Boo Boo
Money Boo Boo's picture

Has anyone tongue punched a fart box today?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:09 | 5638737 Mohan
Mohan's picture
Jan 6

S&P is below 2000. Time for some jawboning by Feds? what's your target price for S&P for January and for 2015?

https://twitter.com/venigallas/status/553031575185920000

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:11 | 5638741 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

CNBC has the dumbest gibbering baboons on right now.

"Everything is great, drop in oil won't affect employment in North Dakota, oil just needs to remain stable, Draghi will buy sovereign bonds, U.S. is decoupled from the rest of the World" etc.

Sure, no volatility out there, no weak hands getting shaken out, no problems whatsoever, BTFD!

Heard all this bullshit in 2007-2008.  Dumb fucking baboons.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:14 | 5638767 jldpc
jldpc's picture

stop picking on the real babboons-they are smart and loving!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:25 | 5638821 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Weird and OT: We have the radio on and they just did the Emergency Broadcast Alert test. When it was over, there was some static and then you could hear a barely audible voice say "muslim" followed by "group" or possibly "community". Uhhhhh??? (it was classic rock not news/talk)

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:32 | 5638845 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

your Zio media masters subliminal, or not even? messaging

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:53 | 5638966 graftvshost
graftvshost's picture

You weren't supposed to hear that. Not conciously, anyway...

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:11 | 5639024 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Acid flashback?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:07 | 5639205 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

No, definitely heard muslim followed by group. Don't know about you, but these days when we hear that god awful warning sound we get that dread "oh boy, here we go" feeling. Then to have a voice whisper those words.... The guys above you jumped to the same conclusions we did. Still a little creeped out but probably nothing. Move along!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 21:55 | 5639911 g'kar
g'kar's picture

I heard it too, but it sounded more like "Buy The Fucking Dip". Wierd huh?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:15 | 5638780 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

It is absurd. The US shale industry will go completely dark in a few months if oil stays below $70-80. It cannot survive at $50. That sector will be vaporized (by defaults and bankruptcies) within months, not years.

In other words, it isn't Russia that's in trouble here.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:19 | 5638807 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

"CNBC has the dumbest gibbering baboons on right now..."

fucking A-Right...

fucking LIESman is speaking as i type...

if i ever meet him in person im gonna kick him in his tiny balls...asshole.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:30 | 5638839 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

4 hours of that fucking empty suit dipshit Tyler Matheson today, I could only survive 2.5...

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:31 | 5638843 Chad_the_short_...
Chad_the_short_seller's picture

CNBC can be help if you just leave the volume off and read the symbols flashing across the screen along with the newsflashes they have up. But if you listen to those disgusting mother fuckers pump and pump and bullshit, giving fifty fucking reasons why their positions are going to do this or that, or GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU DISGUSTING MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:08 | 5638744 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

WE DID IT!!!!

#WINNING!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:40 | 5638887 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

nothing says economic strength and Dow 18,000 like….

"Macy's shares climbed more than 7 percent in premarket trading Thursday after the company announced it plans to lay off about 2,500 employees and close some stores as part of a cost reduction plan.

The retailer said it will combine its Midwest and North regions and reallocate within its regional divisions to streamline its operations.Five stores are expected to be closed in the spring. None are in Illinois. Stores in Arizona, Kansas, Missouri, New York and Utah will close in the spring. But eight new and replacement Macy’s and Bloomingdale’s stores are in the works.

When the dust settles, Macy’s – which has corporate offices in New York and Cincinnati – will have 844 stores in its system. It expects the moves to save it about $100 million a year.  It is cutting front-end employees at some stores, although it did not specify where or how many. It will also reduce staff behind the scenes, including some merchandise planning positions and central office roles."

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:08 | 5638751 Bloppy
Bloppy's picture

Some of the MOMOs didn't play along, or they levitated higher on tiny volume (NFLX). Chipotle must handing out free crack or something, up $70 in two days.

 

 

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:09 | 5638752 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

QE - moar dangerous than Meth ?/??

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:14 | 5638766 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

It's The Fraud, Stupid!!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:13 | 5638769 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

i certainly hope the fed heads are not allowed to own any equities because that would be, well, just wrong!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:32 | 5638851 SeattleBruce
SeattleBruce's picture

Their existence is, well, just wrong!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:13 | 5638772 order66
order66's picture

So what happens when people actually realize just how desperate the Fed is to keep the wealth effect alive?

Man, bond market deflation would just be ba-rootal right now.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:26 | 5638828 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

So what happens when "them" realize we're not just trading on zero volume but zero liquidity and with zero money too?  I'm sure it'll all work out...

 

Any who

 

Apologize to Prime Minister Poopie-reau from Greece now too!

(Yes, and Czar Poopie pants too.)

 

Blame IBM!

The WOPR!

HAL....you name it!

 

It ain't me bro!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:16 | 5638783 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Soon Feds will just be streaming statements live 24/7.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:20 | 5638816 Wait What
Wait What's picture

have each of them record a unique soothing statement to be played during each little correction and they can literally phone it in!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:20 | 5638817 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Pay-for-view tag team. Shit, I'm in.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:27 | 5638878 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

or daily 5 minutes of dovishness, a la Orwell

should do the trick, right after Europe closes

"inflation is well contained, we have always been at war with deflation"

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:23 | 5639063 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

Maybe it can become like morning prayer?

Introduce in schools and workplaces throughout the land

Give us our daily bread

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:45 | 5639134 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of my Zio media and finance masters, and to the Republic that they have designed for me"

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:21 | 5638789 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Nice ... the dark pool fat finger really ripped the face off the crude shorts

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:17 | 5638797 Keltner Channel Surf
Keltner Channel Surf's picture

Rather than endure today’s pre-Jobs afternoon horizontal hell any longer, I finished reading Calvino’s If on a winter’s night a traveler, and it seems an oddly appropriate metaphor for our postmodern markets.

A glance at the daily charts and headlines since Sept reveals multiple stories starting then breaking off mid-tale, a blurring and folding of reader vs. author, a 2nd person narrative style that confuses participants’ roles, a paranoid reflexivity in which markets, fearful of the Fed, ignore data, while the Fed, fearful of data, react solely to markets.  Life imitates art, but you can’t put a frame around it.  

I think I prefer the book to the boring movie on FreeStockCharts.com today.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:20 | 5638804 Wait What
Wait What's picture

new ATH tomorrow on blowout jobs numbers. goal-seeked, must keep the narrative alive at all costs blowout jobs numbers, that is.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:48 | 5638933 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

I will be massively disappointed with anything less than 2100 by the close, then two blissful days of rigged NFL playoffs, shit beer and bad pizza delivery for the sheeple, Merika fuck yeah!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:21 | 5638812 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Nothing matters anymoar except the US stock market. Leading indicator and whatnot.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:20 | 5638815 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Either Evans or Bulltard will mention QE 4 again. Just a matter of time.

Rates at 0 and infinite QE/printing. 

The Zimbabwe economic plan.

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:23 | 5638822 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes...

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:05 | 5639185 drstrangelove73
drstrangelove73's picture

They did the Mash
They did the Monster Mash
It was a smash
It was a graveyard smash
It caught on like a flash
Just like a flash
It was the Monster Mash

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:23 | 5638825 nosoeawe
nosoeawe's picture

Oh for fuck sakes - everyone knows damn well the fucking finanical terrorists that plague the fed will and can never raise rates outside of a token 15 or 25 basis points.

 

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:52 | 5639160 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

they cant raise rates, so fucking obvious...Peter Schiff has been right about this for years 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:29 | 5638835 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

Went from exuberance before Christmas, to SHTF for two days (including media coverage of it), to central bank euphoria. Hilarious.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:28 | 5638836 wmbz
wmbz's picture

Well I sure as hell hope everyone bought the fucking dip the other day!

Now sit down strap in and shut up, we have count down for the moon shot!

These unrigged markets are greaaaat!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:32 | 5638850 Chad_the_short_...
Chad_the_short_seller's picture

Let me be as simplistic as I possibly can here on the markets. Bottom line is that the Jews put Obama into office so the Jews will protect their nigger. The Jews-media got his back and so does the Jew-Fed. It can't be any more explained than that.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:15 | 5638987 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

I didn't know Las Vegas Dave had 8 ZH aliases?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:21 | 5639057 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

Bush was a closet Sammy Davis Jr

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:35 | 5638866 Ewtman
Ewtman's picture

Tomorrow should see the beginning of a significant pullback in the major averages. The bear rally from Tuesday has about run its course. The S&P should start the turn back down in the area of 2070-2075.

 

http://www.globaldeflationnews.com/sp-500-indexelliott-wave-update-for-w...

 

http://www.globaldeflationnews.com/dow-jones-industrial-averageelliott-w...

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:40 | 5638876 spinone
spinone's picture

BTFD chumps. This market is so easy to trade a child could do it. Haven't you learned by now?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:41 | 5638894 Trick Shroadé
Trick Shroadé's picture

I think the market will continue to go up as long as ZH readers come here every day and marvel with incredulity at the market going up.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:45 | 5638927 Bell's 2 hearted
Bell's 2 hearted's picture

i only marvel at Eugenia

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:42 | 5638906 Bell's 2 hearted
Bell's 2 hearted's picture

Bullard no doubt has a bounce in his step as he - easily - wins the 'hoos bigger' contest

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:47 | 5638920 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  You can't help but laugh when the VIX is trading the 17 handle and it's down 2.3 points and that's an 11.91% daily move!  http://www.bloomberg.com/quote/VIX:IND

 What an illiquid graveyard of trading these ponzi markets have become. rotfflmfao.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:46 | 5638922 luna_man
luna_man's picture

 

 

In the old days, I'd be running for cover long time ago, today, "squeeze" me baby, I can take it!

 

looking forward, to the next CRIMINAL "squeeze"...Right?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:46 | 5638923 luna_man
luna_man's picture

 

 

In the old days, I'd be running for cover long time ago, today, "squeeze" me baby, I can take it!

 

looking forward, to the next CRIMINAL "squeeze"...Right?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:46 | 5638935 GFORCE
GFORCE's picture

Any 'folks' who were short deserve everything they get. Idiots.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:15 | 5639036 MuleRider
MuleRider's picture

I understand your point about the futiitiy of those starry-eyed dreamers trying to "fight the Fed" and this massively rigged game we're all in, but I'll be damned if I'm going to taka shit on pepole who hae the guts and conviction to stand on reality-based principles and are willing to put their money where their mouth is. 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:15 | 5639232 fuu
fuu's picture

I find it funny that people think someone besides a PD or CB are short in any significantly market impacting way.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:24 | 5639510 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

Only a 'PINKO COMMIE' Folk would be long. The likes of you are what have shaped this disgrace of a nation. Go to NK and live with others who think just like you do.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:49 | 5638948 MuleRider
MuleRider's picture

Forget this every 3-4 weeks bullshit....why don't we have one of the gracious Fed masters just come out and say a few words EVERY @$#%ing DAY for the foreseeable future and we can get to Dow 100K by summer and all be rich?!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:24 | 5639059 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Yellen: we tortured some folks (by squeezing their nuts in a bear trap).

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:04 | 5639005 GFORCE
Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:22 | 5639060 MuleRider
MuleRider's picture

And I can almost guarantee the cocksucker who wrote that conesceding screed will be one of the first assholes to leap from a skyscraper when there's a 40% correction in the market.  I a hope the son-of-a-bitch winds up as little moe than a red-splattered shit-stain on some sidewalk in NYC, Chicago, or whatever crap-hole he lives in. 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:12 | 5639022 Arthur Two Shed...
Arthur Two Sheds Jackson's picture

"it's time to cut the short trees!"

-TPTB radio

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:17 | 5639040 yogibear
yogibear's picture

The Fed should have it's own propaganda television station..., wait a minute, it's CNBC.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:32 | 5639541 The Fonz...befo...
The Fonz...before shark jump's picture

Well said Yogi, I green arrowed you...a couple more and you will have surpassed cnbs viewership for the day....

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:23 | 5639258 Fuku Ben
Fuku Ben's picture

The charts read more like a regular riot every day

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:09 | 5639440 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

This must be all the poor people taking Yellen's advice and buying stocks.  And this could only mean that housing wll go up as all the homeless people will be buying McMansions soon. Yellen says if your poor buy houses and stock. You'd be a fool not to take her advice.

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