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Thursday Humor: To Serve And To Protect... And "To Shoot Minorities"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Career-ending mistake, or the biggest Freudian slip in history?

 

The News-Enterprise quickly issued the following...

RETRACTION: This story - as it appeared in print - contained a major error and misquoted Sheriff John Ward. The version here has been corrected. The newspaper apologizes to the sheriff and other law-enforcement officers because of its mistake. - Ben Sheroan, editor.

Source: @KySportsRadio h/t @KrisOverton

 

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Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:49 | 5638637 CH1
CH1's picture

Freudian slip.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:50 | 5638651 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

That was no accident.  Print what you want the theme to be, then print a retraction later that nobody will ever notice.

Same way the BLS and BEA do it.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:53 | 5638664 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Bad guys ARE in the minority.  Nothing to see.

 

/sarc

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:57 | 5638679 Stackers
Stackers's picture

That's racist. They go into it with a desire to shoot anyone

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:05 | 5638701 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

I'll give you that. Given cops are hired for combat experience and excluded if their IQ's are too high, they are often brutes who enjoy the killing.   I look forward to the day when they are replaced by DARPA robots, and get their teeth smashed in like the rest of us.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:18 | 5638742 knukles
knukles's picture

Computer glitch
The DoJ promised that they will undertake an active and through investigation into the clearly racially biased hate crime and stated through a spokes-minority that; "The alleged intended unnamed malcontent, a distant relative of Lee Harvey Oswald with connections to the Norks, will be punished as we have deemed appropriate and in the interest of swift and final justice demanded in today's bi-partisan world, is scheduled to conclude even before our investigative team has even arrived on the scene and will likely entail a long period of reeducation at Guantanamo Bay as spaces have recently become available for the perpetrators of new terroristic actions.  If, of course, the alleged perpetrator dies under prolonged extreme interrogation he will unfortunately have been in retrospect deemed to have been either a witch or innocent, as befitting defeating the political agenda of our enemies at the time.  And with that, I'd like to hand you over to the State Department spokesperson, Jennifer Pasties who will be introducing our newest anti-terroristic hashtag campaign.  Juniper, over to you." 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:42 | 5638908 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Original article was published in the NY Times.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:44 | 5638919 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Meanwhile a 34 year old woman is shot dead by a cop, after trying to pacify her dog.  The cop supposedly shot her by mistake, aiming for the dog. Andy of Mayberry is long gone, replaced by demented robo cops.

http://rt.com/usa/220807-cop-shoots-woman-dog/

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:58 | 5638981 Jeff the Terrible
Jeff the Terrible's picture

 

I'm glad our country can look at statistics analyticly and priorotize accordingly. Maybe it's due to such great journalism.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI6tBwVjyOY

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:50 | 5639151 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

How about this:

New York Family Left Homeless After Police Rip Down Walls to Serve DWI Warrant!


 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMnAWAcM4nA

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:34 | 5639306 Eirik Magnus Larssen
Eirik Magnus Larssen's picture

America.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:16 | 5639472 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

sad lol

Fri, 01/09/2015 - 10:34 | 5641356 PrayingMantis
PrayingMantis's picture

... the world is a dangerous place ... not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who said, ‘the world is a dangerous place’ :) ... seriously, most of these "law enforcement" people were bullied when they were young ... then later chose to get back at society as payback for the miseries they had suffered ... as Aristotle once said, "Evil brings men together."

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:27 | 5639520 XqWretch
XqWretch's picture

but guys! the cop was obviously just defending himself! maybe we should give cops rocket launchers so they can "defend themselves" against the hordes of their fellow citizens! (people defending cops are about as brainwashed as cnbc fans)

Fri, 01/09/2015 - 09:32 | 5641065 toady
toady's picture

#breatheasy

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 21:55 | 5639914 Greenie
Greenie's picture

This from wiki...

Hardin county has 4800 people... .04 % are black, or 192 blacks.

Thiis from me, cause I've been there...

There are 10 deer for every person in Hardin county.

PEOPLE are a minority in Hardin county

Fri, 01/09/2015 - 02:12 | 5640575 stacking12321
stacking12321's picture

math is not your strong point, don't give up your day job

192 / 4800 = 4%, NOT .04%

 

Fri, 01/09/2015 - 08:45 | 5640886 Beowulf55
Beowulf55's picture

4%  = 0.04

I would not be casting dispersions so freely if I were you....

Fri, 01/09/2015 - 09:12 | 5640940 V in PA
V in PA's picture

Greenie said .04% not 0.04. Not once but twice (see below). 0.04%=0.0004 or just two people in his secnario.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 21:55 | 5639915 Greenie
Greenie's picture

This from wiki...

Hardin county has 4800 people... .04 % are black, or 192 blacks.

Thiis from me, cause I've been there...

There are 10 deer for every person in Hardin county.

PEOPLE are a minority in Hardin county

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 23:32 | 5640277 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

The 'Fraternal Order of Police' (FOP... you can't make this shit up) is lobbying to get a law passed that shooting a 'policeman' be redefined as a 'HATE CRIME'.

http://www.informationliberation.com/?id=49233

There are ten sheep for every 'LEO' in Hardin county. Pigs (oops, I mean 'LEOs') are a MINORITY in Hardin county.

Fri, 01/09/2015 - 00:59 | 5640465 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

Hardin county/Elizabethtown is basically Ft Knox.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:26 | 5639517 gladih8r
gladih8r's picture

Jeff, I hardly ever get caught speeding, so when I eventually do, why should I get a speeding ticket? 

It's just not fair.  Right?

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:29 | 5639528 XqWretch
XqWretch's picture

wow youre dumb

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:35 | 5639555 gladih8r
gladih8r's picture

not into sarcasm much Xie?

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 21:21 | 5639735 XqWretch
XqWretch's picture

No, I get it. Your comment is just retarded. Youre assuming that everyone who is killed by a cop is a criminal. Perfect.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 21:58 | 5639934 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

@Jeff the Terrible

Here's a link for ya....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIMrFpnfvyI

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:57 | 5638982 pippi68
pippi68's picture

Well, I guess we don't have to worry about that couple fighting anymore, huh? What problem solvers these cops are! This is another one for the "this is what happens when you call the cops" song.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:07 | 5639430 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

Catchy tune that one. Perfect for when you want some music to accompany your ass whooping from the friendly Boys in Blue.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb4GjYt_mIY

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:23 | 5639508 skipjack
skipjack's picture

They don't wear blue anymore - they wear ninja black.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:34 | 5639553 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

And super-butch gay bondage gear.  At a local parade this past Labor Day here in the Twin Cities area, there was a cop all dressed up like some leather-bar Star Wars storm trooper.  I started laughing and pointed him out to my teenage son, who also started laughing.  The cop heard us and looked at us.  It was so obvious we were staring at him and laughing, in the middle of all these Midwestern corn-fed families, old people and 4-Hers, dressed up like a fetish nightmare.  It was a hot day, too.  I'm not sure exactly what my son did, but I made eye contact with the cop (I think; I couldn't see his eyes behine his blackout visor), shook my head, kept laughing, and walked away.  It hadn't occurred to me before, but now that it has, I can't get over how utterly gay/macho those guys look and act.

Fri, 01/09/2015 - 00:37 | 5640427 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel...

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:03 | 5639000 Squid-puppets a...
Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

i guess after this the cops of NY will add newspaper staff to their list of 'minorities'

from there, its only one more step for the cops to be shooting american cartoonists, and the radical islam/radical western line of divergence curves around fully and becomes a complete circle

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:27 | 5639271 booboo
booboo's picture

I didn't read the story, so did the cop finish the job and shoot the dog? Did he make home safe to his family that night, that is what's important here, make no mistake. *Sarc*

Fri, 01/09/2015 - 00:43 | 5640434 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

One wonders if they realize the "I just wanted to make it home to my family" defense might be turned on them eventually. 

Why did you shoot the officer?

He reached for his gun and with the way police are killing people, I felt threatened so I shot him 17 times, reloaded, and then 17 more times.  I just wanted to make it home to my family and if he shot me that wouldn't happen so I did what I had to do to protect myself.

The defense rests your honor.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:49 | 5638925 Self-enslavement
Self-enslavement's picture

Judging by how they are treated, our Federal Chosenite Reserve does not like minorities very much. Their Chosenite friends, however, all seem to be raking in a $Million a year. And don't tell me it's because minorities don't try to better themselves. They work harder than anyone. Society s designed by the chosenites to screw them over at every turn.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:42 | 5638913 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

 

 

Yep, typos can happen...

I remember a restaurant ad in a local paper long ago that said...

"Fried Catfish & Hush Pussies - All You Can Eat!"

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:07 | 5639012 Agstacker
Agstacker's picture

I remember working at a grocery store as a teenager, back in the dairy section.  We were out of milk, and a customer asked if there was any in the back.  All we had there was acidophilus milk and I told him, "We only have aphrodisiac milk".  

 

His expression was priceless.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:30 | 5639089 Bullionaire
Bullionaire's picture

Awwww, Grampy...you just make all these stories. Like the one where a steak dinner with all the fixins cost only $30!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:40 | 5639571 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

A few weeks ago my teenaged son was telling us a story at the dinner table about the two class clowns in one of his classes, who got paired up on a project.  They didn't do any of the work and tried to clown their way through the presentation, and got F's.  

My son was trying to say the two were "Chronic Procrastinators," but instead he said, "What you have to know about these guys is they're Chronic Masturbators."  My wife literally blew out a mouthful of food.  I just said, "Well of course they are.  You're all 16 years old."  

My 14 year-old daughter thought my son and I had set that up, as no way I could have come up with that as if on cue.  I had to assure her, Dad may be old and getting fat, but he can still bring it on occasion. 

Fri, 01/09/2015 - 09:11 | 5640983 V in PA
V in PA's picture

Monday morning the sign said 'Mexican Pot Pie $4.99'. Monday night windstorm. Tuesday morning, 'Mexican Pot     $4.99'.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:49 | 5639150 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

I worked in an insurance office years ago, and one day a fax came through from one of our carriers proudly announcing that they now cover Food Panties.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:53 | 5639166 villainvomit
villainvomit's picture

WWU said....."Fried Catfish & Hush Pussies - All You Can Eat!"

That is waaaaay better than shooting minorities, but what if it were fried catfish and hush politicians in DC....all you can shoot ?

Prolly be a line out the door, down the street and around the corner......nah.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:44 | 5638915 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Instead of serving and protecting, most cops are intimidating and collecting (fines etc)

Fri, 01/09/2015 - 00:00 | 5640356 Blano
Blano's picture

This is just another example why you're one of the best posters ever.

+1000

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:08 | 5638745 Took Red Pill
Took Red Pill's picture

In MA, the police have a new strategy to prevent releasing Freedom of Information Act info;

http://www.blacklistednews.com/Massachusetts_law_enforcement_agencies_cl...

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:19 | 5638806 pods
pods's picture

Didn't know Robocop was a playbook.  Sigh.

pods

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:34 | 5638861 thursday0451
thursday0451's picture

how far back in history do you have to go before 'i didn't know 1984 was a playbook' doesn't seem so obvious it is silly?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:26 | 5638829 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

If that kind of BS (that they're a private entity) argument didn't work for the Fed at the SCOTUS level, then it sure as hell shouldn't work for a bunch of cops at the state level.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:28 | 5639088 teslaberry
teslaberry's picture

so you think robots will kill fewer people because they don't enjoy or hate any task?

 

typically robots are brought in for doing things faster and dispationately. killing people faster and dispassionately might make them more like a terminator than a cop. 

 

not so sure that's something you shoudl be looking forward to. 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:23 | 5639257 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Yea, only WE'LL be smashing their teeth in instead of the bots. Fucking traitors

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:02 | 5638704 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

Some typesetter just lost his job

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:05 | 5638721 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

I don't think they still use typesetters, but agree somebody lost their job or should.  That isn't a typo.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:08 | 5638746 maskone909
maskone909's picture

you mean they should receive a promotion?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:17 | 5638791 Charles Wilson
Charles Wilson's picture

Certificate of Participation

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:42 | 5638909 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

They should get a Minority Bulls Eye pin to put on their chest.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:09 | 5638748 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

If they started slipping in random shit like this all the time, I might actually read a newspaper again.

In other news: "Jamie Dimon said those who go into the banking profession typically do it because they have a desire to loot everyone else."

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:21 | 5638811 knukles
knukles's picture

  I actually heard him give that line at the Haaaaaaaavahdh commencement. 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:40 | 5639305 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

McM, I always look forward to your posts!

I think I'm smellin' some sulphur.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:58 | 5638978 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Liberal typo...

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:50 | 5639155 Oldrepublic
Oldrepublic's picture

probably was short staffed on copy editors!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:44 | 5639577 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

Copy Editors have been mostly replaced with Spell Check.  That's why you see the most egregious mistakes in print media.  The words are spelled correctly, even if they're wrong.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:17 | 5639037 bitterwolf
bitterwolf's picture

Kudos...on the wordplay.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:36 | 5639109 Perimetr
Perimetr's picture

They meant to say "shit on" minoirities, not "shoot" minorities.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:29 | 5639284 Captain Chlamydia
Captain Chlamydia's picture

Whahahahaha LMAO 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:03 | 5638677 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

You are far more likely to die of death by cop, than by muslim terrorists.  This is typical of  fascist police states such as the USSA.

 

http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article36807.htm

 

Note that the article laughingly includes 9/11 casualites as victims of terrorism. 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:18 | 5638799 wagthetails
wagthetails's picture

man i hate defending cops, but that really isn't the right context.  Cops are generally shootting people who put themselves in that situation.  just doing your job while a plan crashes through the office is a little different. 

 

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:27 | 5638832 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

I see that you don't live anywhere near Albuquerque, NM.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:03 | 5638997 pods
pods's picture

Pucker up, here comes a finger!

pods

Fri, 01/09/2015 - 00:10 | 5640374 Blano
Blano's picture

Jesus pods LMAO.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:39 | 5639118 90's Child
90's Child's picture

Albuquerque Police Department.

APD

Another Person Dead.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:03 | 5638994 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Funny how it's only the Liberal Progressive Deomcratic Fucktards, that SEEM TO BE THE ONLY ONE'S WITH THIS PROBLEM...

LL

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:31 | 5639092 MASTER OF UNIVERSE
MASTER OF UNIVERSE's picture

"There are no accidents"....Sigmund Freud

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:53 | 5638962 Equality 7-25-1
Equality 7-25-1's picture

An idiot's bid for economic freedom.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:33 | 5639099 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Lemme guess. 

His address just went viral.

ROFL

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:47 | 5639354 migra
migra's picture

Th reporter, Anna Taylor, made it all up.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 20:20 | 5639497 gladih8r
gladih8r's picture

Heh, Freudian slip her ass! 

This is closer to reality than anything that rag spewed out in it's history.  Thanks Anna Taylor.  +1 for you.

 

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 21:16 | 5639694 nuke ISIS now
nuke ISIS now's picture

Seems more like Anna Taylor (the author) may have an axe to grind with the 'ole sher-reef

hands up dont shoot

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:49 | 5638638 cluelessminion
cluelessminion's picture

First.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:01 | 5638703 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

You mean first moron?   Or just cluelessminion?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:11 | 5638760 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

He was referring to himself being the first lemming over the cliff.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:20 | 5639046 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Wow, your mom let you back on the computer again. Sigh.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:48 | 5638642 cluelessminion
cluelessminion's picture

I guess not.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:02 | 5638710 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Hmmm, I wonder who gave you the up arrow...LOL

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:10 | 5639049 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Hmmm, I also wonder who gave me the down arrow....

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:03 | 5638995 Againstthelie
Againstthelie's picture

Correct.

Zio-media doing what they love to do: stir hate among the goyim.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:21 | 5639050 BandGap
BandGap's picture

I gave him a couple up arrows. He needs friends.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:48 | 5638644 SofaPapa
SofaPapa's picture

LOL

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:49 | 5638645 FreeShitter
FreeShitter's picture

Well shit whitey is a minority in Texas, at least thats what my eyes tell me when I look around. I hope they aint shootin me.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:54 | 5638662 Renfield
Renfield's picture

They'll leave you standing for the sake of your awesome boater (real white guys don't wear rimmed hats), but they will confiscate that choom.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:53 | 5638667 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Welcome to the whitey minority crowd in Tejas. Where is my affirmative action bitchez!!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:51 | 5638653 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

I just have a gun to shoot cans.........AfriCANS, MexiCANS, Porta RiCANS

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:00 | 5638694 nopalito
nopalito's picture

AmeriCANS too?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:33 | 5638852 Agent P
Agent P's picture

"He hates these cans!  Stay away from the cans!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tcwz8-EfFYE

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:54 | 5638656 Jayda1850
Jayda1850's picture

Maybe there's like a vindictive printer .

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:53 | 5638665 Renfield
Renfield's picture

I prefer to think it was a secretary having a great last day on the job.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:04 | 5638717 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Probably the psycholgist....

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:50 | 5639359 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

After being replaced by a word driven algorithm. 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:18 | 5638793 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Sounds like the printer hasn't been paid on time as of recently.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:53 | 5638666 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Conspiracy theory becomes conspiracy fact - duck and cover, suckers.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:53 | 5638669 Mrs. Cog
Mrs. Cog's picture

...so they have no desire to shoot minorities? What was the correct quote?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:02 | 5638712 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Here is the corrected quote:

"This is not a job description most would be attracted to.  “If you go into it with the idea that it’s just a job, you’re not going to succeed and you won’t stay,” added David Lee, chief deputy of the Hardin County Sheriff’s Office."

The entire paragraph about shooting minorities was removed because it was invented by the newspaper out of thin air to begin with.  This is Rolling Stone-class journalism.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:14 | 5638738 trader1
trader1's picture

if Mr. Lee wanted to truly emulate Jesus' teachings, what/how would Mr. Lee think/feel about shooting unarmed, "instaneously-existential-crisis-inducing" humans?

would be interesting to get a quote on that.

collateral damage? tragedies? just homicides?

any bright ideas on how to make the world a better ride?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:03 | 5639002 knukles
knukles's picture

So Mrs. Cog, I infer, understands Tauruses and electronic universe, hmmmmm?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:10 | 5639208 Mrs. Cog
Mrs. Cog's picture

Safe to say I am pro-Thunderbolts. :-)

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:54 | 5638670 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Editorialism at its best (worst?).

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:56 | 5638674 25or6to4
25or6to4's picture

Wonder if Hardin County got a flood of law enforcement applications because of this?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:56 | 5638675 maskone909
maskone909's picture

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:57 | 5638680 agent default
agent default's picture

So how many Asians get shot in the US annually?  Oh, sorry didn't mean to profile anyone.

 

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:48 | 5638936 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

I always believed in profiling...

The FBI guys on TV seem to catch their guy every week.

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:56 | 5638683 lordbyroniv
lordbyroniv's picture

I say shit like this when Im drunk too.  Self censoring is impossible when you are blitzed!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:57 | 5638689 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Hat tip to you Ann Taylor, second only to http://gawker.com/ktvu-reports-asiana-air-pilots-were-sum-ting-wong-and-759185714

Also Ann, if the quote was accurate and the conversation was recorded...you may want to destroy the evidence before you get struck by a car in your hot tub with two suicide bullets to the back of the head.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:05 | 5638719 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Never stops being funny.  Gotta make it my home page. 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:43 | 5639127 Five8Charlie
Five8Charlie's picture

That's what I was thinking: the Sum Ting Wong bimbo just read what some joker put in front of her. In this case, some copy editor probably inserted this as a joke, and it slipped through before it could get pulled back out. 

 

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 16:59 | 5638695 imbtween
imbtween's picture

Was there a mistake in that? I'm not seeing it.

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:00 | 5638702 maskone909
maskone909's picture

me either.  they seemed to have spelled minorities perfectly LMFAO

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:06 | 5638705 Victory_Garden
Victory_Garden's picture

Humor?

Moar false flag events to stop this or to cover it up, coming soon?

Hummmm...

http://investmentwatchblog.com/derivatives-weapons-of-mass-financial-des...

Moar funny.:

http://www.realjewnews.com/?p=995

 

Fri, 01/09/2015 - 04:03 | 5640637 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Bro Nathaniel has a link to the Epstein perv and more famous friends.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:03 | 5638708 taketheredpill
taketheredpill's picture

 

 

TYPO.  Thats a paragraph.  And maybe a career ender...

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:10 | 5638757 Renfield
Renfield's picture

Too bad. Shit, that particular issue will outsell the rest of the year, too.

Hey, maybe it came from the accounting department figuring if they sold 100% of their papers in one day, they could pay the bills this month. I`d go for it. Bet that story gets more views today than the paper`s ever had.

Whoever that reporter was, has a sterling future in marketing and sales....

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:04 | 5638718 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Bankers  are a minority so I don't have an issue with the statement.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:06 | 5638728 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

Noted for truth, we're surrounded by idiots.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:07 | 5638733 coast
coast's picture

Just more stuff to distract us from the federal reserve bank, the economy, the endless wars for world domination and control, the failed war on drugs and etc etc...they are doing the same stuff here as they do/did in the middle east.  Divide and conquer..

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:08 | 5638736 salvadordaly
salvadordaly's picture

Found this in a post the other day. Kinda explains a different view, somewhat.

Police Harassment: Recently, the Chula Vista, California Police Department ran a forum with the local community with the topic being, "Community Policing." One of the civilian participants posed the following question: "I would like to know how it is possible for police officers to continually harass people and get away with it? _From the "other side" Sgt. Bennett, obviously a cop with a sense of humor replied:
"First of all, let me tell you this...it's not easy. In Chula Vista, we average one cop for every 600 people.
Only about 60% of those cops are on general duty (or what you might refer to as "patrol") where we do most of our harassing. The rest are in non-harassing departments that do not allow them contact with the day to day innocents.
At any given moment, only one-fifth of the 60% patrollers are on duty and available for harassing people while the rest are off duty.
So roughly, one cop is responsible for harassing about 5,000 residents.
When you toss in the commercial business, and tourist locations that attract people from other areas, sometimes you have a situation where a single cop is responsible for harassing 10,000 or more people a day.
Now, your average ten-hour shift runs 36,000 seconds long. This gives a cop one second to harass a person, and then only three-fourths of a second to eat a donut AND then find a new person to harass.
This is not an easy task. To be honest, most cops are not up to this challenge day in and day out. It is just too tiring.
What we do is utilize some tools to help us narrow down those people which we can realistically harass.
The tools available to us are as follow:
PHONE: People will call us up and point out things that cause us to focus on a person for special harassment.
"My neighbor is beating his wife" is a code phrase used often. This means we'll come out and give somebody some special harassment.
Another popular one: "There's a guy breaking into a house." The harassment team is then put into action.
CARS: We have special cops assigned to harass people who drive. They like to harass the drivers of fast cars, cars with no insurance or no driver's licenses and the like.
It's lots of fun when you pick them out of traffic for nothing more obvious than running a red light.
Sometimes you get to really heap the harassment on when you find they have drugs in the car, they are drunk, or have an outstanding warrant on file.
RUNNERS: Some people take off running just at the sight of a police officer. Nothing is quite as satisfying as running after them like a beagle on the scent of a bunny. When you catch them you can harass them for hours to determine why they didn't want to talk to us.
STATUTES: When we don't have PHONES or CARS and have nothing better to do, there are actually books that give us ideas for reasons to harass folks. They are called "Statutes"; Criminal Codes, Motor Vehicle Codes, etc...They all spell out all sorts of things for which you can really mess with people.
After you read the statute, you can just drive around for awhile until you find someone violating one of these listed offenses and harass them.
Just last week I saw a guy trying to steal a car. Well, there's this book we have that says that's not allowed. That meant I got permission to harass this guy. It's a really cool system that we've set up, and it works pretty well.
We seem to have a never-ending supply of folks to harass. And we get away with it. Why? Because for the good citizens who pay the tab, we try to keep the streets safe for them, and they
pay us to "harass" some people.
Next time you are in my town, give me the old "single finger wave." That's another one of those codes. It means, "You can't harass me." It's one of our favorites.
Hopefully sir, this has clarified to you a little bit better how we harass the good citizens of Chula Vista.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:15 | 5638775 Renfield
Renfield's picture

heh, gotta hand it to the guy. Cops with a sense of humour and perspective make it a lot harder to hate them. Good one!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:34 | 5638853 skipjack
skipjack's picture

fucking brilliant - but the truth is  "there's this book we have that says that's not allowed" and presto, you are now available to be messed with.

 

The trick is to slim down that book.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:08 | 5638743 woody188
woody188's picture

What happened to equal opportunity in America? Don't they have to have a desire to shoot all people regardless of background?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:15 | 5638770 Mike Honcho
Mike Honcho's picture

The retraction is not going to cut it: RETRACTION: This story - as it appeared in print - contained a major error and misquoted Sheriff John Ward.

A statement like that isn't misquoted, the paper would need to say errored with fabrication.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:21 | 5638810 serotonindumptruck
serotonindumptruck's picture

The newspaper would never admit that it was intentional.

If they did, they would be admitting to making a libelous statement.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:32 | 5638848 Racer
Racer's picture

So what they did was take out the complete para with what the sheriff said....

No 'should have read', but totally deleted

now that fact says a LOT!

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:34 | 5638858 heywood2
heywood2's picture

What happened here of course is that the author of the news article wrote a hilarious farce version for his friends. And then he edited it to make the real article.... except he forgot to change out one of the lines in the funny version.

 

Ooops...career-ending mistake for the writer, quite possibly.

 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:43 | 5638900 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

This is my county. I don't know what to say except the rag is notorius for getting the facts wrong.

 

I'm sure the writer has career security. They have done worse.

 

BTW, Tylers, it's the News Enterprise, not the News Reporter.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:43 | 5638917 loregnum
loregnum's picture

Probably the cunt writer trying to stir more shit up. She should be fired. Will she? Of course not.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:50 | 5638956 bcking
bcking's picture

This is true my imperiliast dog friend. You can't be trustin' no bitches.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:30 | 5639091 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Newspaper used to have proofreaders and editors -- not any more....

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:45 | 5638928 Equality 7-25-1
Equality 7-25-1's picture

White people are a minority.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:29 | 5639084 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

'White peoples is a minority'  -- fixed it for ya

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 23:25 | 5640245 Equality 7-25-1
Equality 7-25-1's picture

Competent people are an oppressed minority. Everywhere.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:47 | 5638934 Zodiac
Zodiac's picture

After the Chicago riots following the death of MLK in April 1968, Mayor Richard J. Daley, when criticized for the behavior of the police, defiantly stated that the "police were not on the streets to create disorder, they were there to preserve disorder."

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:47 | 5638939 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

I have 2 questions. Is it illegal to give someone the finger? Also, if you jump off a bridge into water 60 feet below what are your chances of surviving 100%?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:34 | 5639106 EemieMeanieMinieMoe
EemieMeanieMinieMoe's picture

No...the 'digitus imputicus' has been litigated...it is NOT grounds for arrest or civil action.. so there 

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:53 | 5638941 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

We may have shot some colored folks.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 17:49 | 5638944 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

bad move to talk to any MSM of any kind - they like to spin to sell a little too much these days

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:02 | 5638993 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

"Sum Ting Wong"

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:07 | 5639010 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  This is what happens when you outsource your editing to India.

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:11 | 5639021 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Lying Murdering Scum Own Our Planet

 

/sarc

 

PS. hope your doing well..

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 18:16 | 5639039 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    Thanks. I'm doing well, but my ass is collecting a lot of splinters from sitting on the sidelines. ;-)

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 19:43 | 5639328 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

better to be safe than sorry. I taught Mrs. Atomizer. imagine getting a call from your wife. Updating you on oil prices. Q: When are you going to buy?

A: Honey, Donald Trump will be in Myrtle Beach, SC. Jan 15-19th. Lets go up north and stay at our place for the weekend.

Q: What? Donald Trump? When is he going to confirm running for President.

A: late Q2 or early Q3

See, she forgot about buying oil stocks. Too soon ( I'm such a calculating bastard). She adores Mr. Trump. When we use to watch CNBS, Trump tuedays would awake her from deep REM slumber. It was a fucking riot.

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