Meet Janika Merilo: Ukraine's New Minister For Attracting Investment

Tyler Durden's picture

A month ago we discussed the influx of 'foreigners' to help the Ukraine government 'manage' the country. As UA Today reports, foreign appointments have become a key part of Ukraine's mission to reform its economy and crack down on corruption (and ensure American interests are taken care of?) and now boats 3 non-Ukrainian cabinet members. And now a 4th non-Ukrainian - Estonian Jaanika Merilo - will step up to the plate 'tasked with bringing more foreign investment into Ukraine and improving the country's business climate'. We suspect she will have some success...



As UA Today reports,

3 non-Ukrainians already cabinet ministers including American Natalie Jaresko


Jaanika Merilo has become the latest foreign national to join the Ukrainian government. The Estonian has taken up a position as an advisor to the minister for economic development who is himself also a foreigner - Lithuanian Aivaras Abromavicius. Merilo will be tasked with bringing more foreign investment into Ukraine and improving the country's business climate.


Foreign appointments have become a key part of Ukraine's mission to reform its economy and crack down on corruption. The country now boasts three non-Ukrainians in the ranks of its cabinet. Alongside Abromavicius are US-born Natalie Jaresko as finance minister and Alexander Kvitashvili, who is now Ukraine's Health Minister. All three were granted Ukrainian citizenship just hours before they took up their posts.




Merilo's appointment means there are now two high-profile foreigners working in the ministry for economic development. They will undoubtedly need all their international experience to help pull Ukraine out of recession, with the economy having contracted by some 7.5% in 2014.

*  *  *

We wish her luck...

NOTE: The images above have mysteriously disappeared from Merilo's Facebook page

h/t @ValLisitsa

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achmachat's picture

who's been hitting that poor lady on her mouth?

(seriously... who came up with the idea that injected lips were attractive?)

Dead Canary's picture

Putin belted her! That bastard!

Pool Shark's picture



I'd invest in that...


Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

You think that's bad? Check out Farrah Abraham--she just got her lips injected too. I'll leave the google seach to you if you are so inclined to look.

Manthong's picture

If that was the only one in the bar, I would hit it..

after the 5th Scotch.. after midnight.

Time and Scotch works for me the same way distance and Photoshop works for her.


Pinto Currency's picture



She's scary.

Still think when it comes to ridiculous, Obama takes the cake.

sodbuster's picture

Well, Hello, MERILO, goodbye heart!!!

NoDebt's picture

That's Lorena Bobbitt all over again.  Is she taking that knife to the "investor" meetings?

TruthInSunshine's picture

The Zionists are aggressively moving to try and salvage Ukraine as a de facto (i.e. stealth) NATO Command & Logistics center on Russia's doorstep.

Nothing is beneath them or their Nuland-Kagan type PNAC bedfellows, including heavily advertising smut/porn, in doing so.

Latina Lover's picture

The Ukraine is a joke that get funnier each time  you tell it. 

WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Jaanika Baby Ya, cannot remember the name of the movie with John Cusack.

HardlyZero's picture

Are we allowed to vote for the new FED Head ?

Of course James Grant comes in first...but she might add some necessary fluffer interest between the CB balance sheets.

Son of Loki's picture

I'd love to invite her over for coffee, tea  ... or something, but I'm afraid she looks too scary for me.

Save_America1st's picture

You're very convincing, Janika....I'm all in and ready to make a deposit.


With those DSL's, she'll suck the cash right outta everyone.  

COSMOS's picture

I wonder which dual passport oligarch's chrome hitch she has been sucking lately.

The Alarmist's picture

Madame Clinton just hit the reset button ... BTW, where's Bill these days?

ParkAveFlasher's picture

You mean, Special Ambassador to Ukraine, William J. Clinton?

chumbawamba's picture

If I'm not mistaken that second photo is actually Angelina Jolie displaying the classic illuminati single-eye (all-seeing eye) symbolism.

I am Chumbawamba.

Lux Fiat's picture

BTW, where's Bill these days?

Home, and not alone.

Donatan's picture

You dont need to understand a word of Russian just click on this link to see pics and where she got "inspiration" for those photoshots She is like one of those cheap Chinese imitations and Ukrainian politicans think they've hit a jackpot with this "negotiator"

MsCreant's picture

That is powerfully sad.

Angelina in her prime was the bomb. It's crazy to pin up your own photos next to hers. It is like a hamburger putting up its pictures next to a steak. Bad idea. Hamburger is good, no doubt. But it will lose against steak almost every time along every dimension. If you want cheap, only then is hamburger best.

I did a little modeling when I was younger. This is pathetic. I don't mean to be catty.

MarsInScorpio's picture

Long Escorts, Hookers, and Blow - following the Nevada Bunny Ranch business model.



jefferson32's picture

Noticed the all-seeing eye reference in the second picture


Lost My Shorts's picture

She looks more like the arm candy of Dr. No in a Bond film, except this time Dr. No is some guy named Aivaras Abromavicius and they no longer have any shame about living out their fantasies at public expense.  It's just expected that reality is as cheesy as a Hollywood B movie.

Overfed's picture

She looks like she tried to blow up a bus and burned her mouth on the tailpipe. Nice bod, though. Prolly batshit crazy.

Manthong's picture

Batshit crazy?

Maybe those last two pics could be a clue.

Ukrainian Government position could be another.

samcontrol's picture

Bs , a little make up , a nice dress and she shows you a little cleavage and you are ALL IN buddy, don't kid yourself.
Americam gigolo funny as shit.

pods's picture

Okay, I checked it out.  And I thought it was terrible when Baby had her nose done.

Why do women hate themselves this much?


ihedgemyhedges's picture

I'd make a deposit.....

Harbanger's picture

They listen to and follow trends created by the woman-hating gays in the industry.

knukles's picture

Looks like the people on the Simpsons.
Look at it this way.
Instead of using her flat head for your beer can holder, you can use her upper lip while she's ...


El Vaquero's picture

Naw, just the tip.


Who the fuck am I kidding.  All in.  That woman is just begging to become a bank, injected lips not withstanding.


Night time sperm bank deposit.  Sit on a happy face!

goldsaver's picture

Damn Cowboy, I know you are one tough hombre but you've gots the order of events backwards there amigo.

Sit on happy face, then night time deposit...

alphamentalist's picture

in terms of net flows, i bet she beats our asses

El Vaquero's picture

In terms of net flows, I'm surprised that nobody on here has made any wisecracks about liquidity injections.  

McMolotov's picture

But would you tongue-punch her fart box?

Bunghole's picture

Poor girl looks like she swallowed something causing an alergic reaction.

Harbanger's picture

Swallowed the chrome off the trailer hitch.

Proofreder's picture

Golf ball -

through a garden hose

Fun Facts's picture

The creature from Donatella Versace in situ.

The Big Ching-aso's picture

Apparently she does know her way around a couch which is a huge plus towards getting a head in politics. It looks like she's destined to work under the very best of Ukraine top leadership. Best of luck to her in this new carear.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

It beats trolling for potato.

But hey, fantasy land is thriving so why not?

NoDebt's picture

"But would you tongue-punch her fart box?"

That line never gets old.

GoldenGeezer's picture

I may not invest in it, but I sure would make a deposit:)