This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Stocks Post Steepest Post-Open Crash In Two Years

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/12/2015 10:51 -0400

Well that escalated quickly: This is the biggest drop in the S&P during the first few minutes of trading since at least 2012, a move which has all but erased the gains from Charlie Evans' "catastrophe" call last week.

h/t @NanexLLC

- advertisements -

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:53 | 5651105 Cognitive Dissonance

Get used to it bro. All good things must come to an end....and bad things as well.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:55 | 5651113 SheepRevolution

Where's my sledge? That chart just looks like so much fun!!

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:07 | 5651172 corsair

You ought to check with the authorities. That slope doesn't look safe.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:09 | 5651181 TerminalDebt

I have $10 in my pocket, waiting for DOW 0 so I can buy Microsoft and shut it down.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:21 | 5651238 Dr. Richard Head

Talk about volatility. I thought the fed was supposed to "smooth" such machinations.

I wish this bitch tide would go out already so we can see who is naked.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:31 | 5651271 El Oregonian

The slippery slope?

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:42 | 5651314 Soul Glow

Need moar fed speak as we slip on the slope.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 12:01 | 5651380 Keyser

That's a triple black diamond kinda slope... Reminds me of a sign at the top of Lone Peak in Big Ski Montana...

http://www.cowboyhvn.com/images/Warning1.jpg

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 12:53 | 5651604 BurningFuld

You don't have to shut Microsoft down. Just fire all the programmers and hire new ones.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 14:36 | 5652057 KnuckleDragger-X

Yep, time for some of that Bullard magic....

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:35 | 5651288 nuubee

No need to shut it down, just release all their source code. This will accomplish many things...

1) The worlds programmers can point and laugh
2) The worlds crackers can run wild
3) The worlds operating systems can finally start getting better

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 14:39 | 5652076 KnuckleDragger-X

A large piece of MS code got hijacked and released into the wild where people started asking "how does this shit even run?". Needless to say Bill Gates did his best to bury that little disaster deep.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 13:06 | 5651656 richiebaby

Quick, flip the chart over!

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:56 | 5651120 Headbanger

WWWWHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHH!! MOAR QE 4 !! WHAAAAAAHHHH

Where are those QE-4-tards !!?

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:59 | 5651142 buzzsaw99

3% off the ath. where the fuck is bullard?

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:05 | 5651169 Manthong

Get back in there and buy, Mortimer!

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:14 | 5651208 Neverstopprintingme

it is like pushing on a string. pavlov's dogs have already commenced today's btd. look we are almost flat already. can we please add greenspan, yellen, bernanke, draghi, etc. to the list of most wanted economic terrorists at homeland?

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:43 | 5651311 Kaiser Sousa

last hour of trading underway in London...

"dont call it a comeback..."

LL Cool Jay

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 12:01 | 5651374 Element

"Paging Hank Paulson!"

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 12:53 | 5651605 1fortheroad

Bullard isnt speaking today.

Dennis the menace is

12:40 EST

Atlanta Federal Reserve Bank Dennis Lockhart speech on monetary policy, in Atlanta.

http://mam.econoday.com/byshoweventfull.asp?fid=468706&cust=mam&year=201...

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:01 | 5651143 negative rates

You are talking beside yourself of course, we've moved on to QE5.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:12 | 5651138 NoDebt

You're pretty sure about bad things ending too? I'm always skeptical of people who come across as overly-optimistic.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 14:42 | 5652084 KnuckleDragger-X

I'm completely sure we're fucked. That's as positive as I can get.....

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:10 | 5651187 AR

Good Morning CD:

One (1) word... and, one of my favorite words these days when I am asked "what I think" about the markets. The word is...

P - O - O - F

Which is what folks will feel and experience when their "paper profits" get stripped away in 1/10th or 1/20th of the time it took to realize them in their accounts. As always, I hope is well for you and the family.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:53 | 5651106 1000yrdstare

Je suise Charlie Evans....

oops, wrong thread..

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:00 | 5651133 Headbanger

Je suis Charlie Daniels dude!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnepPZChA5U

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:40 | 5651304 pods

Je Suis Long Trader's clenched sphincters.

pods

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:48 | 5651338 Jethro

Je suis Jack Daniels...

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:52 | 5651108 Buster Cherry

Well, is this the BIG ONE?

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:17 | 5651228 BlindMonkey

As if warning it was would make any material difference to anyone at this point. You are either ready for it or not and, of course, your milage may vary.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 12:42 | 5651552 DeadFred

No the BIG ONE hits LA tonight. Then tomorrow this morning's dip will seem like nothing.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:53 | 5651111 Bangin7GramRocks

And they will be back up tomorrow or Wednesday. Let's all just focus on what is important. The National College Football Championship Game. For all non-Americans, we tend to make everything in life about greed, money and profit. Even our institutions of higher learning. I know, it's totally fucked up!

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:23 | 5651244 robertocarlos

They just make up the rules as they go along. Did you see that Cowboys BS? They got robbed.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:34 | 5651281 ShorTed

Payback is a bitch...Detroit got the same treatment at Dallas last week. Must be the hometown refs.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:53 | 5651114 breadonwaters

The first step to return to health is to cut out the diseased flesh and allow the wound to drain.

This is gonna hurt.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:58 | 5651132 LawsofPhysics

Is Goldman going bankrupt?

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:06 | 5651173 MauritiusGold

Never happen. They'll steal off the people before that happens. Well, even more blatantly than they do already....

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:30 | 5651267 Uchtdorf

re-hypothecation...it's such a lovely word, really...just rolls off one's tongue...has quite a charming ring to it and rhymes with "financial death."

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:01 | 5651140 blown income

The first step to return to health is to cut out the diseased flesh and allow the wound to drain.

Going to need a new body...this is a 7 year corpse there playing on...just bones..

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:01 | 5651145 Aaaarghh

if its the financial health of the global economy you refer to, then I would say there's no healthy flesh left. You are lookin at a fully fledged zombie.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:55 | 5651118 B2u

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NNOrp_83RU

A little humor from Naked Gun...

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:57 | 5651121 clade7

..."Who can fuck in this kind of weather"?

Gene Tracey, "Hurricane Gussey" punchline...

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:57 | 5651126 q99x2

Yep. This ISIS and Islamic thing, police attacks provoked by big media, move by all the Globalist NWO politicians to make public appearance together, Internet regulations etc.

This puppy is coming down bro. Time to move closer to wherever Janet Napolitano is living bitchez.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:32 | 5651274 NoVa

Berkley or Oakland CA?

I don't dink so -

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:56 | 5651127 LawsofPhysics

Goldman "called it" LOL, okay muppets, go short!

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:57 | 5651129 Yen Cross

http://www.bloomberg.com/quote/VIX:IND

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:57 | 5651134 hazenyc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FONN-0uoTHI

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 10:58 | 5651136 Dr. Engali

Headline pushed to my phone from Bloomturd:

U.S. Stocks tumble at open

From CNBS:

U.S. Stocks rise.

You can'tmake this shit up.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:01 | 5651147 Bernoulli

CNBC also had this as "breaking news" on their website for a minute or two but corrected it quickly 2 or 3 minutes into the market open. That was funny..

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:07 | 5651178 NoDebt

It's the post-modern era, baby. Truth is just a matter of perspective.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:14 | 5651206 Dr. Engali

Apparently they can and do make it up, like everything else in this phony zombie eCONomy.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:16 | 5651221 NoDebt

It's very handy to be entitled to both your own opinion AND your own facts.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 14:08 | 5651907 neuronius

reminds me of Common Core maff.

If you can give the teacher a sound argument why 2+2=5, then you're right!

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:03 | 5651148 Berspankme

Je Suisse Jeffrey lebowski. That's like your opinion man

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:11 | 5651197 Citium

Nihilists! Fuck me! I mean say what you will about National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:16 | 5651213 MarketAnarchist

"say what you want about the TENETS of national socialism, dude, but at least its and ethos"

-Dont misquote Walter

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 12:09 | 5651416 falak pema

ethos with no pathos for victims.

And that is awesome, when you become victim and the Reichstag burns!

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 21:28 | 5653804 Citium

Lol

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:02 | 5651156 blown income

Here comes $45

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:10 | 5651190 Neverstopprintingme

Fools. This was another chance to BTFD!!!! They already rallied the s&P back from down 20 points to down 9. It'll finish in the green too. The fed will tell you when they aren't buying eminis anymore. Until that day in 20 or 30 years, just pile into the carry trades.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:16 | 5651215 Frank N. Beans

nice timing ZH. But I think we will end the day much much lower. The half-life of positive banker pronouncements is getting ever shorter.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:25 | 5651250 forwardho

Hey!

thats the very algo I'm working on.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 14:10 | 5651909 kw2012

That is the comment I was going to make. It's taking more and more effort, we are getting shorter and shorter cycles in this whole market pump scheme. Who is the next voting Fed member they will march out? Next time the effect might not even last a day.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 11:55 | 5651223 JRobby