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Wednesday Humor: Maxine Waters Takes On HFT Rigging And Broken Markets

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Yesterday was a bad day for the HFT lobby, after not one but two incidents which exposed the high frequency parasites doing what they do best, and perhaps only: rigging markets.

First, it was a Canadian HFT trader, Aleksandr Milrud who was busted for spoofing (which is "manipulative, high-speed stock trading in which a trader places non-bona fide orders to buy or sell securities and then quickly cancels them before they are executed, in order to artificially move the price of security up or down and to induce other market participants to buy or sell a security at a price not representative of actual supply or demand", something the NY Fed's Chicago JV partner has become an Emini master in).

And then as previously noted, it was the embarrassing bust of the HFT-favorite exchange, DirectEdge, which the SEC charged $14 million for continuing to engage in Hide Not Slide orders long after the practice was slammed in the press.

Of course, by now, between the Fed and the HFTs rigging everything, one needs a microscope to find even a single retail investor as what we began explaining 6 years ago - namely that the markets are rigged, manipulated and broken beyond fixing - is by now clear to everyone, and most would rather gamble at the most corrupt Las Vegas casino. After all the odds of actually winning are better there. 

And since it would be laughable if its wan't tragic, we decided to make it even more laughable, by noting that none other than intellectual titan in the House of Representatives, Maxine Waters, had a few choice words to say about the latest HFT rigging busts. That's right: Maxine Waters now opines on market microstructure issues.

* * *

Lynch, Waters Encouraged by Results of Securities and Exchange Commission Investigation of Direct Edge

 

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Today, Congressman Stephen F. Lynch (D-MA) and Ranking Member Maxine Waters (D-CA), two prominent members of the Financial Services Committee, issued a statement regarding the announcement that Direct Edge will pay a $14 million fine to settle charges by the Securities and Exchange Commission that they failed to disclose how some order types, created at the behest of high frequency trading firms, were being employed on their exchanges.  Lynch and Waters applauded the SEC for taking action against the exchange for this fraudulent behavior, which catered to high-frequency trading firms to the detriment of average investors.

 

The SEC investigation found that the two exchanges offered three variations of “price sliding” order types, rather than the single “price sliding” order type listed within the exchanges’ rules. Certain members of the exchange, including some high-frequency trading firms, were privy to information on how the three variations of order types operated, while retail and institutional investors were not. Lynch and Waters believe it is crucial that all investors have equal access to the rules governing trading on the exchange.

 

“It is unacceptable to have high frequency trading firms wielding undue influence over exchanges. I am pleased that the Securities and Exchange Commission is finally acknowledging the abusive practice of complex special order types that cater to high frequency trading firms to the detriment of everyday investors. While the fine is an important first step in ensuring fair trading on our public exchanges, we must continue to hold exchanges accountable,” said Congressman Stephen F. Lynch.

 

“More than three years after being alerted by a whistleblower, the SEC has finally taken action against potentially abusive and manipulative order types that favor high-frequency traders over ordinary investors at our nation’s exchanges.  Our capital markets are built on the premise that they are fair and transparent for all investors.  As this case illustrates, providing certain customers with an inside track on how trades can be best executed destroys that premise. I hope the SEC continues to examine the use of order types at exchanges and prohibits those that are not in the public interest,” said Congresswoman Maxine Waters, Ranking Member of the Financial Services Committee.

Of course, now that even Maxine has joined in the fray, it's all over for Johnny 5, something which earlier news that HFT titan DRW was set to acquire one of its biggest competitors Chopper Trading, confirms all too vividly.

Oh well, at least the rigging was fun while it lasted.

 

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Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:20 | 5659945 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Does she look like a person that will take a bribe or one that will enforce the law, or is the first part of this sentence incorrect.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:21 | 5659961 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Lynch, Waters Encouraged...

That is racist.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:26 | 5659983 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

She might be the ugliest human on earth,

  if she's human.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:32 | 5660005 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

My favorite Maxi-W quote was last year when she said that the government sequestration cuts were going to cost 170 MILLION JOBS.  That would be ALL OF THEM, sweetie.  Here's your juice box, now go play, the adults need to talk for a while.

 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:37 | 5660020 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

You mean this:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEVr9sTwTwY

 

Financial titan is a good explanation of this idiot.  She is a total idiot.

The fact that this idiot is on a "financial services" committee should provide proof, beyond any reasonable doubt, that all members of congress and those in .gov are completely useless people and have no clue what they are doing, thereby ensuring that the US is totally and undeniably headed for financial failure.

 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:48 | 5660041 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

"I hope the SEC continues to examine the use of order types at exchanges and prohibits those that are not in the public interest,”

Waters needs to be put in a mental institution.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:52 | 5660102 whotookmyalias
whotookmyalias's picture

She doesn't even look capable of doing her own grocery shopping.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:47 | 5660376 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

And certainly not capable of doing anyone else's grocery shopping.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:53 | 5660411 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

She's a good example of why voting is pointless.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:29 | 5660578 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

Well, at least she can serve as a bad example.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 14:28 | 5660924 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

I would also add she's the perfect example of a voting constituency that is either as dumb as fuck or brilliant to keep this worn out bag in D.C.

 

Thu, 01/15/2015 - 01:08 | 5663590 Harrison
Harrison's picture

No, she's pretty much representative of her community. . . .

Thu, 01/15/2015 - 01:07 | 5663587 Harrison
Harrison's picture

You're racist for thinking that she should be expected to do her own grocery shopping. You think she can't afford people to do that for her?!

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:50 | 5660099 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Can't find it, but my fav was when she asked the Bernank who his CEO was. 

LOL

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:07 | 5660159 Ward cleaver
Ward cleaver's picture

My favorite Maxine moment was during the very funny TBTF CEO
inquisition when she was angrily rambling on and ken Lewis of BoA said
"I don't know what you are talking about lady". LOL

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:51 | 5660100 jcaz
jcaz's picture

In a sea of idiots, Maxine manages to sit alone as the star moron of this generation-  she's proof that a politician with an IQ of 80 can continue to be elected, defying the odds that not even once during her tenure,  she might even accidently contribute something to the group.

The Black Simple Jack.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:00 | 5660132 Titus
Titus's picture

The Black Simple Jack.

+1000

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:18 | 5660191 Number 156
Number 156's picture

Never go 'Full Retard',
never.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:09 | 5660482 sunnyside
sunnyside's picture

I'm sorry, but y'all are not giving Sheila Jackson Lee enough credit for being the dumbest member of Congress.  SJL make Maxine look like a member of Mensa and her dumbness is only surpassed by stories of her meaness.  

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:46 | 5660694 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

This is how they get elected and stay elected:

 

Speaking on the House floor, Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee claimed she was once a slave.

“I stand here as a freed slave because this Congress came together.”

Sheila Jackson Lee, February 13, 2013 

 

Thu, 01/15/2015 - 01:10 | 5663594 Harrison
Harrison's picture

Neither of them holds a candle to Hank Johnson, of "Guam might tip over" fame.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7XXVLKWd3Q

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:19 | 5660199 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

IQ of 80? You're feeling generous this morning, I see.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:46 | 5660364 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

"In a sea of idiots, Maxine is their guiding navigational star."

 

Fixed it for ya.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:10 | 5660153 Number 156
Number 156's picture

She was put in charge because she IS a total idiot, and John Kerry was already too busy.
They put a colossal idiot there because they really want any action against bankers to fail, and like a train wreck, it will.

She once commented something about when man landed on mars or something like that. Yes, shes that stupid, and elicits much facepalm from the gallery when she speaks. 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 15:43 | 5661423 lincolnsteffens
lincolnsteffens's picture

"that all members of congress and those in .gov are completely useless" Beg to differ, but they are useful to the .1%. All fixed now.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:27 | 5660264 clade7
clade7's picture

I was not sure if it was the pop-up of the 80yr old man who hadnt a bath in 60yrs...

 

One thing, theres no mistaking her for Jade Bryce!

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:32 | 5660286 25or6to4
25or6to4's picture

NoDebt
Maxine Waters and rep. Hank Johnson would make a great couple. Johnson is quoted as stating in some house committee hearing back in 2010 that if Guam, yes the island, had too many troops on it that it might be in danger of tipping over and capsizing......I kid you not. I'm sure some ZHer cane dig it up and post it here.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 22:06 | 5663043 nevadan
Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:01 | 5660449 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

ROFL. The Maths isn't Maxie's strong suit.

What does this mean when the number of jobs lost is greater than the number of employed persons? Is this analogous to more votes than voters?

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:33 | 5660007 PrayingMantis
PrayingMantis's picture

 

 

... rigor mortis ...

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:38 | 5660035 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Nigor mortis.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:52 | 5660105 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Nigor Moron.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:28 | 5660579 maskone909
maskone909's picture

AHHHH ahaAHAHAHAHAHA

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:33 | 5660608 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

+1000 to Winston Churchill

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:35 | 5660305 Eyeroller
Eyeroller's picture

RIGGER mortis

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:33 | 5660012 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Since we already have a cat woman, viewable here:

http://jenniferfabulous.blogspot.com/2011/04/legend-of-cat-woman.html

Maxine is an excellent candidate to become deputy dog woman, viewable here:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_YMOSo9sflrs/Rf4WR22sHpI/AAAAAAAAALE/0NTSnjg21w...

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:37 | 5660025 29.5
29.5's picture

Two articles today, Joe Lavorgna and Maxine Walters, both I am convinced they are not human.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:39 | 5660032 A Fist Full of Fiat
A Fist Full of Fiat's picture

I'm still trying to figure out the gender.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:04 | 5660456 Money Boo Boo
Money Boo Boo's picture

She's obviously a fan of "Testosterone Tips She Doesn't Want to Share"

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:32 | 5660004 snodgrass
snodgrass's picture

The chimp wants her share. That's all.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:21 | 5659963 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

If she understands what "trading" is -- I would be surprised. 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:27 | 5659988 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

What do Representatives from Compton CA know about HFT? 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:35 | 5660015 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Dat be meanin' Higher Fuckin' Taxes to be payin' fo' alla dat gubmint cheeze, yo.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:40 | 5660046 clade7
clade7's picture

On the street she goes by "Ma'zeenie Wah'atters"

 

kudos to Key&Peele

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:27 | 5660268 Katastrofenhausse
Katastrofenhausse's picture

I prefer calling her Marxine, she loves herself some Castro brothers

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 14:09 | 5660820 Harry Balzak
Harry Balzak's picture

Here's how they trade in Compton...

http://www.businessinsider.com/the-tide-black-market-2013-1

 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:32 | 5660006 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

And if she were really concerned she would propose a Tobin Tax i.e. tax on trades.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:45 | 5660073 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

our dear City of London bankers patiently explained to us continentals that such a thing would be "socialist" and against Nature

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:21 | 5660224 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Classic truth inversion. Transaction taxes are probably the least socialist form of taxation.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:24 | 5660228 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

No, just impose a fee (or tax if you will) to cancel an order placed within 5 seconds.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:29 | 5659982 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

do you understand trading, or markets?

I recently wrote this:

"as a reminder, a every market has good, positive speculators. those buy when it's low and sell when it's high. net result: lower volatility and purposeful use of liquidity

but if there is an excess of speculators, or an excess of their ammunition or seriously big speculators, the game changes, and they might start to "shake" the market

net result: higher volatility and deleterious use of liquidity

markets, too, are facilities. they are not for the enrichment of a few insiders, they serve a purpose for the non-insiders. I know, a very oldfashioned view, but there it is..."

take it apart for correctness or incorrectness, if you can. it applies to those HFT leeches, too

if you love free markets... what's your position about marketmakers? oldfashioned marketmakers of their own "product"? (and what about oligopolies?)

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:34 | 5660013 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

Am I omnipotent?  No.  Do I definitely understand it better than her?  Yeup. 

 

That being said -- look how "progressive" you are.  Sticking up for her.  How cute.  

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:47 | 5660030 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

sometimes that little thing about europeans being "progressive" in the same way as East/West Coast Liberals are is... damn annoying

we have conservatives, too, for example. or over 100 political parties roughly grouped in seven major directions (and you happen to know it)

nope, nothing I wrote has anything to do with your "potency" or with me sticking up to her (I have only a faint clue who she is)

you say you understand markets (at least better then her). prove it. take my statement apart, and give a comment on it

come on, it's easy. it's about markets, and how they ought to be or ought to be regulated or not. I'm astonished nobody replied to my comment, yet

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:17 | 5660515 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

I know people here who have answered your questions a dozen times before around here.

It has always been about the enforcement of regulations, not the amount of regulations themselves. And stop bullshitting about political parties, they mean nothing when addressing these fraud ridden and crime infested markets. The enforcement agencies like the SEC, CFTC and FBI have all failed the the American public.

Maxine Waters is a complete fucking stooge, and dumber than a rock. She is part of the problem. That was his point.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:21 | 5660216 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

"It's when you give me money, and I say what you want me to.

-M. Waters

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:41 | 5660336 25or6to4
25or6to4's picture

Haus-
Come on man, day do its all the time in da hood. Trades day EBT card for all kindsof shits.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:08 | 5660481 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"Hank, what is a stock market?"
"I thinks it be where you go to buy supplies, Maxine."
"Thanks, I knew you would know, Hank. Can I use my EBT?"

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:27 | 5659989 Titus
Titus's picture

Uhh, are you talking about the part of the sentence where you refer to Maxine Waters as a person?

She's married to a banker and banker's aren't people, they're reptiles. Given Maxine is also a politician, it's likely she is some sort of cross between a reptile and a parasite.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:35 | 5660018 orez65
orez65's picture

Even a broken clock is correct twice a day!

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:40 | 5660031 ukspreads
ukspreads's picture

It's probably best she doesn't drive a convertible

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 15:05 | 5661173 robertsgt40
robertsgt40's picture

She's as dumb as a rock

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:21 | 5659948 Randy Goodnight
Randy Goodnight's picture

Say what?  Wha chu talkin bout?

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:20 | 5659951 SandiaMan
SandiaMan's picture

Deer in the headlights

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:24 | 5659970 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Often wrong but never in doubt.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:21 | 5659952 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

$14 million? Cost of doing business.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:20 | 5659953 unionbroker
unionbroker's picture

by Mike Caswell

The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission and the U.S. Department of Justice have charged a Canadian man with fraud for a multimillion-dollar market manipulation scheme that ran over a two-year period. Prosecutors claim that Aleksandr Milrud of Ontario masterminded a "layering" operation. He allegedly employed traders in Asia to manipulate many high-volume stocks by pennies, profiting from small price variations. FBI agents arrested Mr. Milrud in Florida on the charges Tuesday morning.

The scheme, as described by prosecutors, was a form of high-speed trading in which groups of traders working for Mr. Milrud used specialized software to rapidly place orders. The traders entered false buy and sell orders to influence the price of a stock. As the market reacted, the traders were able to rapidly profit from small price fluctuations, prosecutors claim. Mr. Milrud allegedly told a broker that his scheme generated $1-million every month. (All figures are in U.S. dollars.)

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:47 | 5660068 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

SEC nabs the little fish while JPM and the Banksters rake in billions doing the exact same thing.

Check that, worse things. Much worse...

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:21 | 5659954 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

She is simply amazing....

I am continually "dump"founded by what comes out of her mouth.

 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:42 | 5660050 Farmer Joe in B...
Farmer Joe in Brooklyn's picture

Affirmative action working wonders

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:35 | 5660622 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Because Black Women are the epitome of intelect. Didn't Larry Summers say something like this at Harvard that got people's panties in a knot? Yes. Some ZH'er can find it I'm sure.

 

 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:54 | 5660405 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

She is simply amazing....

I am continually "dump"founded by what comes out of her mouth.

She is simply amazing because "we" are simply amazing!!!

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:22 | 5659955 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

"  PEG! PEG! I'm blind! "

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:20 | 5659956 madcows
madcows's picture

GREAT!  a california political assclown has decided to show us how far over her head she is.  Who's next, Boehner?

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:07 | 5660466 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"There is something odd about this wine....Blartentendler!"

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:22 | 5659957 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Hey Maxine, our own former treasury secretary admits that "arsonist burnt down the financial system and profitted from it".

 

Start here.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:30 | 5659998 Stained Class
Stained Class's picture

He was the Fire Marshall at the time...didn't he understand how self-incriminating that statement was?

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:32 | 5660011 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Amazing isn't it?  Blatant, full on, corporatism/fascism with a "fuck you, I am a criminal and there is nothing you can do about it" attittude.

I have been going back and forth with one of my employees about starting guillotine manufacturing company just for the hell of it.  The media attention alone has got to be worth something.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:38 | 5660040 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Put a big adverb in WSJ and NYT about how people can buy now and pay you after they get paid by the public.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:54 | 5660107 boattrash
boattrash's picture

Laws,

I'm with you on the guillotine building!

I've been threatening to build two, one for political signs in the front yard, and one to put on EBay (just to check the pulse, so to speak).

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:06 | 5660461 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

No! Maxine would nationalize it and use it on us.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:22 | 5659958 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Shes a rank member alright..

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:21 | 5659960 Jameson18
Jameson18's picture

You look at her and you know there is nothing going inside that mellon.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:23 | 5659962 Heavy
Heavy's picture

Sortition...because buying politicians hasn't been working.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:30 | 5659964 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

"the high frequency parasites" - "but, but, they provide liquidity!" though, actually, they don't. well done, ZH

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:24 | 5659972 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

Waters is a great example of black intellect in America.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:25 | 5659974 venturen
venturen's picture

sometimes idiots can be useful....wait was I talking about Obama?

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:25 | 5659976 Creepy A. Cracker
Creepy A. Cracker's picture

Is she the one who thought the island in the South Pacific would tip over if we had too many people on one side?  Maybe that was Cummings.  They seem to have both gone to the same government schools...

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:57 | 5660422 25or6to4
25or6to4's picture

CAC
That was Hank Johnson back in 2010. Yet another black prodigy.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:04 | 5660458 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

His knowledge of geology is Astounding.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:26 | 5659980 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Maxine Waters on the Finance Committee?  A factory worker, local politician, now Fed head.  Barry, can you put a more useless cunt on this committee?

 

Oh right, barry the community activist lawyer - another useless cunt.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:48 | 5659985 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

“It is unacceptable to have high frequency trading firms wielding undue influence over exchanges"

Yeh?  Take a look at CBOE Holdings Inc major shareholders.  Gonna do something are you?

 

That's what I thought.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:34 | 5659986 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Maxi-pad Waters has to be one of the dumbest women I have ever seen. How anybody can hold a straight face while talking with her is beyond me.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:52 | 5660103 noben
noben's picture

This does not surprise me. I've seen it happen over and over again that when it comes to any large organization in the US, "folks" get hired or promoted to a certain level mostly on "HR points". How else can one explain the blatant disparity in competence between such people and their competitive peers, who seem eminently more qualified?

If it were me, I'd put in a Constitutional Amendment, requiring ALL candidates running for Public Office, to pass a series of 'Aptitude Tests', which test their IQ, and educational and cognitive competence. IOW... "Dumbos and Clowns need not apply".

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:30 | 5660278 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

Actually I'd like to take this a step further... An explosive charged placed at the back of their neck wired to a lie detector. 

Standard Disclaimer: This would solve so many problems.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:00 | 5660443 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

My rule would be anyone wanting office is disqualified.

Reps to be pulled from a bin of voters cards.

"Jim, you came up. You have to go to Congress for two years and serve."
"But my business...family, hell, I do not want to go."
"It's your Duty."
"Awright."

Next I would shoot all lobbyists with permanent dye. Build a barracks for the congressmen, like the shitty hole I was in at Ft Jackson. Cafeteria food. No Pages, they can find their own shit. Make them follow all laws they pass on US.

Finally, like this sy-fy story I read once, if you can Prove the senator or congressman is lying, you can shoot him. If he was not, the judge shoots you.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:28 | 5659987 Realname
Realname's picture

I wonder if shes related to Hank Johnson? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNZczIgVXjg&spfreload=10

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:53 | 5660407 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"Well, Congressman, we propose to distribute the marines evenly over the island so it does not tip over."

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:29 | 5659994 papa song
papa song's picture

Thats gotta be a wig...

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:30 | 5659996 richiebaby
richiebaby's picture

"who's tradin what and how fast did you say daye was doin it???"

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:28 | 5659997 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Someone forgot to make a campaign contribution.  She will STFU for about $800.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:49 | 5660000 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

And if the banana eating coconut skulled one along with her counterpart in the Oval Office is wise enough to comprehend that her time in office and on this earth is about to run out when "small time investor" sees nothing but red on the HFT needles she will simply disappear one day with a new identity!

After all?...  Once the illusion translates itself into no more football, basketball, baseball and hockey players getting their weekly salary for what they do, the game of musical chairs stops for all of them in D.C.!

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:57 | 5660752 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

By the way? I happen to love bananas and coconuts.

The "eating kind" that is!

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:31 | 5660002 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

careful what you all say here, i guarantee this site is being read and scanned for "extremists".  SERIOUSLY.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:47 | 5660088 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

careful what you all say here, i guarantee this site is being read and scanned for "extremists".  SERIOUSLY.

But "nappy hair" in the White House said (I am he is)...

"Je suis Charlie Hebdo"?!!!

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:13 | 5660180 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Should we just adopt Moby's "Extreme Ways" as an anthem?

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:32 | 5660003 Salzburg1756
Salzburg1756's picture

At least Waters ain't waysist!

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:34 | 5660016 Mike Honcho
Mike Honcho's picture

"While the fine is an important first step in ensuring fair trading on our public exchanges, we must continue to hold exchanges accountable"

Like charging drug smugglers a toll is a good first step.

Finish your thought, we must continue to hold exchanges accountable....HOW?  Continue with 1% of revenue fines, move over Wyatt Earp.

 

Forgot which pristine territory Waters was a leader in, CA, makes perfect sense.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:38 | 5660034 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

She'll do a wonderful job cracking down on financial misdeeds according to this headline:

"Scandal-Plagued Maxine Waters Top Dem on Banking Committee"
Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:36 | 5660023 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

"she's a malignant cunt"

-Paulie "Walnuts" Gultierri

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:36 | 5660026 Spungo
Spungo's picture

Am I the only one who didn't think those 10 quotes were that terrible? She simply doesn't understand how things operate, but it seems like her heart is in the right place. She basically believes in santa clause - free stuff without side effects.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:41 | 5660037 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

Of course they know what HFT are.    A consultant hired for fundraising ideas gave the Water's staff a 15 minute power point presentation for possible contributors to target.  "High Frequency Trading" was right in there, between "Hat Makers" and "Horse Trainers".

The letter says Congress is going to hold a gun to the head considering federal regulation of your industry, that Representative "X" is an essential and key member of the Congressional committies shaking down that regulate your industry, and wouldn't you like to contribute to Representative "X''s reelection.

Seriously, Congress critters understanding HFT, please. 

 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:39 | 5660042 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Holy Fucking Trinity (HFT) see 'TRIAD' group of 3.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:44 | 5660070 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

'More than 3 years after being alerted by a whistle blower .....' Wow! Just Wow!

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:45 | 5660074 Ghostdog
Ghostdog's picture

She is appearing at Zanies In March

 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/31126705@N02/16253647986/

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:47 | 5660084 Equality 7-25-1
Equality 7-25-1's picture

Maxine Waters understands organized cirme. Intimately. Anything goes as long as she gets her cut.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:51 | 5660085 deeply indebted
deeply indebted's picture

"Oh well, at least the rigging was fun while it lasted." What? That's ridiculous. Rigging will just take another form is all. Rigging could even take the form of outright monetization, liquidity injections, fraud, wash trades, naked shorts, or any number of.. oh.. wait... we already have all these other forms of rigging, don't we? What's the problem, again?

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:55 | 5660111 yogibear
yogibear's picture

She can't even balance her own checkbook.

Wonder what her credit card balances are?

How many pairs of $500 shoes, $70,000 autos  does she have?

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:57 | 5660120 Madcow
Madcow's picture

The SEC is close to getting serious about thinking about seriously contemplating making market rigging and other forms of fraud illegal.

 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:58 | 5660121 yogibear
yogibear's picture

She's a icon for the US.

Want to know what the US is like, look at Maxine.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 11:59 | 5660129 MacAttack2
MacAttack2's picture

Thank goodness, we are saved!

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:03 | 5660139 Atomizer
Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:03 | 5660140 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

The gene pool is long overdue for a good draining and cleaning.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:02 | 5660143 Falconsixone
Falconsixone's picture

Hard to believe she's not carrying a coffee pot around tables in a greasy spoon somewhere in Mississippi.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:05 | 5660146 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

Yes, but in her defense, she IS a ni88er!

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:41 | 5660151 Katastrofenhausse
Katastrofenhausse's picture

I thought her name was Marxine Waters the way she was talking about "socializing" the oil industry a few years ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_93SldBytjE

edit-Plus she went to Cuba where she praised Fidel Castro and called for an end to USA's  embargo. She wrote a letter to Castro (quoted during an October 2, 1998 newscast on Radio Havana), she wrote that Castro had a perfect right to grant "political asylum" to U.S. citizens fleeing "political persecution." You guys remember any US citizens swimming to Cuba on scrap wood, me neither.

 

 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:05 | 5660152 Consuelo
Consuelo's picture

Why so hard on Ms. Waters...?   After all, 'black lives matter'...

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:10 | 5660166 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Thank your lucky stars.

She could be on the Nuclear Energy Oversight Committee.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:10 | 5660174 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Congresswoman Maxine Waters slips the truth out- Socialize the Oil industry

 

Oops. The stupid cunt let the cat out of the bag long ago.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:11 | 5660175 mikemora
mikemora's picture

Maxine doesn't know the difference between HFT or EBT but I for one am greatful someone gave her the copy to read. 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:19 | 5660205 madcows
madcows's picture

The fact that she sits on the financial services committee could have something to do with the fact that the banks/HFTs have destroyed the markets, years ago.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:24 | 5660229 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

With restrictions in new oil exploration, you fundamentally create peak oil rhetoric. Another poker game which will end badly for the crew provoking electric carbon based infrastructure..

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:26 | 5660259 vegas
vegas's picture

If Comrade Maxine wasn't black and a DEM, she and her family would be in prison for pilfering millions from a failed bank her husband [and her] looted. What a fucking hypocrite! But, that shouldn't be a surprise for any friend of Emperor Goebbels.

 

www.traderzoo.mobi

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:34 | 5660300 Bear
Bear's picture

She sure would be in jail ... Just like poor John Corzine

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:29 | 5660262 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Maxine Waters staff aid has logged in to down vote ZeroHedge posters.

/sarc

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:48 | 5660372 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

I think you are right. There is a bright side though. At the age of 76, she is probably not long for this earth. 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:47 | 5660368 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

We don't water the whiskey but someone must have whiskeyed the Waters.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 12:48 | 5660374 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

When we stop allowing Congress insider trading privileges then I might start listening to what they have to say about the rigged markets.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:09 | 5660474 wow thats crazy
wow thats crazy's picture

Oh No! Congress is looking into HFT. Maybe if the HFT firms started paying kick backs( Cost of doing business) this would be all swept under the rug.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 13:55 | 5660742 Fun Facts
Fun Facts's picture

all hand picked retarded blackmailable ZWO sycophant politico puppets 4 u donkey

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 14:10 | 5660825 Harry Balzak
Wed, 01/14/2015 - 14:26 | 5660916 Harry Balzak
Harry Balzak's picture

Guess this is diversifying across market sectors

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2015/01/13/cyclist-hit-by-truck-then-ro...

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 14:19 | 5660883 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

I would bet that they have to change out her Zionist handlers every few months due to burn out.

"Now what? What was that you said? The FEC, no the HEC, HUD? Shit, tell me again who we is protecting?"

The banksters need to repay us.

 

Zionist handler: "Just watch for the red or green light in the back. Red means be stern and say no. Green means be nice, and say yes. Got it?"

 

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 14:30 | 5660951 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

She done pretty good with an IQ of 85.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 15:00 | 5661134 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture

Wait, you misplaced the decimal point.

 

"She done pretty good with an IQ of 8.5."

 

There. Fixed it for you.

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 16:40 | 5661701 Turdy Brown
Turdy Brown's picture

You all must have not heard of Corrin "Delivers" Brown!  She makes Maxine look like freaking Einstein!  Go GATA!!

Thu, 01/15/2015 - 16:05 | 5666291 Vin
Vin's picture

Maxine, being the stupidest person in Congress (and that's quite a feat), can't possibly understand what's going on.  She's one dumb libtard.

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