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Top 10 Things That 'Will' Happen In 2015
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Just for the record I'm all for leveling San Francisco.
Give it time. You won't have to. Mother Earth will do it for you.
Congress Stands up to Wall Street.
Yeah, sure!
/sarc
"Congress Stands up to wall street" in bold
"Bankers take their seat" in next line.
See, they stood up so the nice bankers could have a warmed seat ready for them.
I hate to be "that guy", but the last boomer turns 60 in 2025.
A Harvard study proves Harvard studies prove everything.
Well if The high priests of education say so, then it must be true. They have those fancy bow ties, tweed jackets with elbow patches and a really impressive certificate with calligraphy writing hanging on their office wall. And that's good enough for me.
Fuck all that, the bastards get a pension, too, and you get to pay for it. I hope yours is enough to keep you in St. Moritz.
Anyone boen IN the 1960s does not have a boomer mentality. The last boomer was born in 1958 INHO.
No, most likely we'll just keep continuing to have a better standard of living and better jobs than the rest of you fucking pissants that live everywhere else. Enjoy your snow and general shitty climate.
Yes, because the rest of the world has to have a crappy climate.
Or even happens to have a crappy climate.
if they think crappy climate is "haarped" to "spot-ty", they don't know what "globe-al" "w-eat-her" mean !
"No, most likely we'll just keep continuing to have a better standard of living"
Bureaucrat much?
Oh, Statetheist, so you're one of those strikingly homely guys in his 20s in SF who earns a lot in tech. Here, try a little experiment: look around you. Where are all the old dudes? That is, the ones that are over 30 y.o.. Hey, where are they? You mean they get rid of them? Yes, that's right.
It's funny - young tech dudes in SF never notice this. They are like cattle who don't notice that their fellow cattle are going . . . somewhere. It doesn't occur to them that they too will soon be going . . . somewhere.
But don't worry, when you go back to your snowy hometown there will be something for you to do I'm sure (the local Apple store at $15/hour, or Best Buy or the Geek Squad; and hey, Staples sells computers too) while some younger dude takes over your half of the sunny SF shared rental and brags about his job on ZH.
Radio shack may be hiring...oh wait...
Don't forget the entire health care industry. I am sure going from a $20 CoPay to a $3000 Deductible is going to send the masses rushing for medical services! I am sure that the healthcare business will be hiring millions in 2015 to handle the increase demand /sarc
-21s aside, Stateth, you sound a bit Python Frenchiesque.
27 & 3!!!!!!!!!!!! quack, waddle, quack, waddle. . .
If God doesn't destroy San Francisco, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology !!!
San Francisco sinners are amateurs compared to DC.
Well, let's just say San Fran probably holds the record for various objects pulled from rectums. Being primarily government, I would assume D.C. Is less innovative.
Miffed
Na.. State Pen has a near 100 percent participation rate, they call em "holsters"..
Rectum?! Damn near killed 'em!
'Well, let's just say San Fran probably holds the record for various objects pulled from rectums. Being primarily government, I would assume D.C. Is less innovativive'
Due only to governmental heads remaining willfully, chronically, colonically imbedded.
I remember a zh post when DC overtook Hollywood for highest paid call girls.
That's damned funny!
That's funny, the belief in a mother earth is what created modern San Fransicko.
Level yourself, twit.
are you one of those basement dwellers that love gay rites kiss the rainbow
Pre registration to "Burning Man" in the Blackrock desert this year is $800 for overwealthy San Fran natural people.
No state is just pissed of because he lost his only sector in FoE and doesn't want to contribute more fps.
Burningman sounded cool 15 years ago. Now it just sounds like a frat party on acid.
Take Tomorrowworld (which is shitty enough as it is) -- take out all the super attractive topless chicks in their early 20s, replace them with burnt out meth heads in their 60s -- likely topless as well.
Move form Belgium or Atlanta to the middle of the desert, and wa-la Burning Man.
I had an ex-GF who was into all this shit. Glad that relationshit is over.
Those connected in SF do not pay full price for burningman. $800 is for the jarheads wanting to see dirty nakid chicks, Rv crowd and japanese turists. I stopped paying when when the tickets got over $100, but back then there was no fire dept, nor cops nor cafe. All the fun dangerous stuff ended After attendance got over 3000 and a dude sleeeping way out on the playa was runned over by a dune buggy.
Nobody wants to hear about the front to back daisy chain...
ooooh. such barracks language.
Was this supposed to be a funny link from PeoplesCube? Nothing they do is ever funny. It's CollegeHumor for partisans.
The Daily Show needs some new material.
You misspelled Statistfuck, please reregister...
Just for the record I'm all for leveling San Francisco.
I'm taking bets on which event levels it first.
1: A Nuclear strike from North Korea or China.
2: A major earthquake.
You can make good money if you correctly call the date. I've got dibs on September 24th.
They can reconstruct SF's hills using buried Teslas
Americans wrongly believe that John Kerry-James Taylor thing in Paris was a hoax:
http://tinyurl.com/kneu4zp
It wasn't a hoax, but should have been.
China and Russia to launch new credit rating agency in 2015
Enhanced interrogation declared illegal
Those who disagree will be waterboarded
Enhanced interrogation declared illegal *
* this however does not include added, amplified, ameliorated, augmented, improved, increased, intensified, raised, lifted, boosted, expanded, deepened, widened, furthered, prolonged, strengthened, reinforced, heightened, elevated, magnified, exalted, embellished, enriched, multiplied and supplementary torture.
Who needs velocity when you have a space elevator?
Global warming causes crash in natural gas prices!
Forget about what WILL happen and concentrate on what WON'T happen.
Dogs still won't catch their tail, Wall Street bankers won't be going to jail, the FED won't stop manipulating the market, the USA won't stop fighting wars, the Israeli government will not give Palestinians any peace and neither will the Palestinians give peace to the Israelies.
The economy won't really improve, Russia will not keel over and die, Japan won't have a baby boom, etc etc
zzz
What's WRONG, 'Stateheist'?
Wasn't 'Peter Pan's comment 'stimulating' or 'entertaining' enough for you?
SLEEP, little one. SLEEP, now!
https://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=AwrTcdH017lU_z0ADf8lnIlQ;...!!!!!&sigt=10ooehjb8&back=https%3A%2F%2Fsearch.yahoo.com%2Fyhs%2Fsearch%3Fp%3Dthey%2Blive%2Bsleep%26ei%3DUTF-8%26hsimp%3Dyhs-001%26hspart%3Dmozilla&sigb=12r7vldgp&hspart=mozilla&hsimp=yhs-001
He's still waiting for that 15 minutes of fame he has been promised.
Maybe it will come in his 28th week.
In other news, Kim Kardashian's ass subdivided for luxury condos. When asked for comment Kanye West stated, "Have you seen that thing? There'll still be plenty left for me."
A Million Armed Patriots March on Washinton!
A Million Armed Patriots March on Washinton!
Then I wake up!
And who will be the Islamic Martin Luther King?
http://www.straitstimes.com/news/world/united-states/story/europe-needs-...
I think our future mussy overlords will be proud of our preparations./s
In their dreams.
And a lot of them will be black. A black friend is really pissed that the niggers give all black people a bad name.
We call White Niggers "Trailer Trash".
Is that rayciss?
One of these days I'm going to sue the letters "e" and "i" for colluding to ruin my spelling. I beleive I have a tort.
I C what you did there.
RULES FOR (vowel-challenged) RADICALS:
"I" before "E", except after "C"; or in the sound of "A", as in "neighbor" or "weigh". Learn it, live it!
BELIEVE! NOT 'BELL-eh-IY-ve'! bel-EE-ve!
OH...
I see what you did here...
The next 'tort lawsuit' needs to be taken out regarding the collusion of the letters 'G' and 'H'. WAY, (wait!), WEIGH?
RULES FOR (vowel-challenged) RADICALS:
oh my dog.....
the entire ennglish language is VOWEL-CHALLENGED
they are pronnounced as they are WRITTEN.... (remember.... p h o n e t i c s ) -lol
oh wait.... 'tis english.... they need help..... they cannot have simple consistency in the pronunciation of vowels.
A - E - I - O - U
NOT....
ay - i - eye - ou - you.....
LOL !
I love chocolate torts. but not the obama kind.
I love when my wife gets all torted up on Saturday nights.
I had two. The first was a tort, the second a retort.
A dog always returns to its retort
I'd like to patent the letter "i", so Apple can't use it anymore.
Think carefully about buying a vowel.
---Alex Trebec
MICHELLE COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET!
Admits her 'given name' really IS Micheal, and Barry's 'pet name' for her is 'Reggie Love'!
JANET YELLEN ADMITS TO 'GENDER SELECTION' SURGERY!
States she's had a penis ever since her visit to Sweden 18 years ago!
B.P. TO PAY 13 BILLION DOLLAR FINE TO U.S 'REGULATORS'!
'Insider' states that the corporation (which has beeen given human status) is sorry for killing the 'Gulf Steam Conveyor'; apologizes for harsh winters in England and elsewere.
"MICHELLE COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET!"
Oh, I thought you meant Michelle Bachmann came out of the closet and admitted she was a complete and total moron and anyone who ever considered her presidential material should be deported immediately to an atoll about 6" above sea level in the South Pacific. Apparently perspective makes a difference when it comes to meaningless headlines.
OH.
Well, Barack Hussein (nee.Soetoro/Obama) loves all kinds of 'Michelles'. ESPECIALLY the WHITE ones that helped him win the 'selection' back in '08 (bet you didn't know that John 'songbird' McCain's REAL middle name is 'Michelle', did you?). He holds a special fealty to Anne Dunham, as well (his WHITE mother). That white commiesymplant chick sure do LOVE the BLACK communist dick! So does Barack Hussein, it seems. Like Mother, like Son...
Speaking of 'Pastor' John Hagee's OTHER wives... Bibi Netenyahu has declined to comment.
To be honest, I haven't followed much of this stuff at all and now that I have been exposed to it, I'll put it at number 1,862,326,549 on my list of things to care about in any way.
Sounds like you're an expert on the subject. Enjoy your studies! Considering all of the down votes my original post has garnered, it appears you have some fellow experts on here who can join you in your studies. Just think, you can create your own think tank with these "fellows" and probe in depth into this topic of fascination for yourselves. Fun awaits!
I think Bakman is a cunt too. Just wanted to go on record.
'Up Yours'...!!!
:-)
You guys sure do seem obsessed with putting things up asses. I appears something deeper is working at a subconscious level among you fellows.
Hillary finally comes out of the closet.
And then thankfully into a duffle bag.
Multiple Banksters Still Attempt Flight!
President Dindu Nuffins Outlaws Independence Day!
Hillary Farts Rainbows and Skittles!
Summer Urban Revitalization - Now That's a Fire!
I spend another year reading doomsday porn while the Dow blows past 20k
Dow 20k + will be doomsday . That means all other assets classes are worthless
If Bezos wants to turn around that money pit called the WaPo he should rebrand it "Not News! Everything that isn't being reported and isn't stupid either!"
All these news outlets run the same stories every day.
And for that you pay a 500 million dollars? The stories have already been written. Do they even have an editor that isn't a robot anymore?
No shit...I did not know that. He's not part of the tribe now is he?
you mixed that up with the quarter end forecast
That is one of the funniest and clever parody sites I have seen in a really long time, thanks for sharing that ZH!
Uh-oh.
We've got one that can SEE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBY6pF42I-c
(After 5 years on this site, does he COMPREHEND?)
Thanks for fucking SHARING your 'insights', 156. The pic isn't about 'wit' and 'parody'. It's some REAL SHIT that is actually HAPPENING. Hell, WB7 might have been a part of creating it, for all I KNOW.
YES, it is both 'funny' and 'clever' (in a sick and twisted sort of sarcastic realist way). What's YOUR opinion of it? Does it make you laugh, or is it too close to TRUTH?
I won't 'vote' on your comment, kid.
MontgomeryScott,
Its Both. Too close to truth, dark humour for our modern times. Makes me chuckle with a tear in my eye.
Pope Declares Church Wrong About Bolsheviks
Marx really did want to help the poor.
Lenin, Stalin proposed for sainthood.
Washington redskins changes its name to Maryland redskins out of shame
Extraterrestrials Discovered Among Undocumented Migrants
Illegal aliens really are aliens, but ACLU claims legal status for them.
California issues drivers licences.
Pluto is still a planet!
Pluto is a Disney dog
I got a rescued dog for.christmas. the handlers at the petsmart called the dog "frankie". I always thought that name was too yankee so I started calling it franklin. The dog's official name is now Franklin Delano Dogg, although I did consider Pluto or Goofy. I kind of wished Id have chosen Pluto, as Ive never seen or known of a dog named Pluto outside mickey mouse.
my brit friend says its a lurcher, though I never heard of that breed. I know its half german shepard and I think greyhound.
Franklin Delano Dogg is a very proper name for a dog.
For calling and ordering about, Buster is also a fine name.
That could be very appealing. How many dogs have the same name (moniker) as their owners?
While I like all dogs, hounds are my favorite. Pluto has the telltale tail of a hound. No?
I once had an Irish wolf hound. You could tell it was an Irish wolf hound cause it was walking backwards and wagging its head.
Pluto is a Disney dog
Pluto is a Disney dog
Pluto is a Disney dog
Pluto is still a planet!
Pluto is still a planet!
Pluto is still a planet!
Pluto is still a planet!
Pluto is still a planet!
OK swass honey, pluto is still a planet. Now eat your peas.
Yeah but Uranus is a moon.
In other news, no charges were filed yesterday when an unidentified man dragged a bitterly protesting Kim Kardashian into a police station claiming he had captured a sasquatch. When the officer in charge explained to him that sasquatch meant big foot the man was unapologetic and claimed that anyone could have made that mistake. Ms. Kardashian could not be reached for comment.
Brookings Study Finds That Redistribution Works
Proposes universal entitlement to winning lottery tickets.
Also, Obamacare should provide free heart transplants for everyone.
Who needs ten in 2015 when you only need one!
"Japan Set To Surpass China As America's Largest Creditor"
Suck on that sheep!!!
you can't spell debt
without EBT..
Leisure Suit Barry flunks out of Austrian School, joins Daesh, and gets busted for smoking pot on guard duty.
Tyler respectfully. If you think these " degenerates" quantify your program? You're sadly mistaken.
I'm Not John Du Pont
Right, only degenerates like you and I qualify...how dare they!
Leave it to the Cube to sprinkle reality on our peppermint shit sundae.
Rebranded: chocolate mint lousecream.
People's Cube is a GREAT site! I think this is it's first apperance on ZH but it's been around for years.
Go to the site and just read the newsfeed down the right hand section of the page, funny stuff!
It's contrarianism for Russians. Doesn't get any more real than that!
Wall St. apologizes to taxpayers and gives back the FDIC blank checkbook.
I'm going jogging and fishing in 2015
jogging is like fishing
trolling for hard bodies..
Breaking News!!! Kim Kardashian dead in freak boating accident. Kim Kardashian, famous reality TV star and wife of Kanye West died today when she fell off a boat and was drowned. Though she was wearing a life vest it proved tragically inadequate to counter the positive buoyancy carried below her center of gravity. The body was recovered a short time later by fisherman who thought at first it was a buoy. "She was floating bottoms up," one of them said, "the damndest thing I ever saw." A distraught and grief-stricken Kanye was heard to cry, "I told her to get a bigger boob job."
2015:
New york Times reporters go on strike and no one notices.
Jerry Springer and CNBC news merge into one tv show.
It becomes a thought crime to watch 'Idiotocracy'
All people who do not work for a congressman are declaired as potential terrorists
Jerry Springer and CNBC news merge into one tv show.
thanx +1
that made me laugh..
Fed announces QE tapering to begin "soon."
Bobo has chance sexual encounter with bigfoot. Oddly enough it was a male bigfoot.
Universal Pictures Announces Plans for Award Winning Obama Bio Pic
Producer promises: "An honest, hard-nosed portrait of America's smartest, kindest, greatest, most transparent and most magnificent President."
Aggressive production schedule targets completion before Acadamy Awards.
Hollywood glitterati fight for historic, defining "roles for the ages".
Insiders leak "most sensational cast ever":
2015 headline: thousands of boating accidents involving loss of physical gold and silver recorded on same day. Police baffled. "Remarkable coincidence" says ZH!!
Putin declares for 2016 promises freedom & democracy
Bath House is visited by the ghosts of depressions past, is scared straight, dumps Reggie and attends the Austrian School.
Mickey Mouse filed for divorce from Minnie....turns out she was fucking goofy....
Cap and trade finally passes, however most americans are still trying to locate the outlet where they can trade their baseball caps.
Due to volatility in the markets, it is now illegal to short stocks on the Dow and S&P.
Later Yellen announces that stock prices will be determined, always to the upside, with a computer program. "These numbers will be digitally transferred from the fed as needed."
Washington keeps the redskin team name and replaces indian logo with a potato.
http://photos2.demandstudios.com/dm-resize/photos.demandstudios.com%2Fge...
they change their name to the Maryland Redskins, that should do it
Nah, a redskin potato would look great on their helmets and be really great up the PC crowd's asses who don't have too many gerbils already up there..
Reckon only these 2 points need to be considered in the next 12 months,
1.) The FED will restart the QE program due to international pressure. Too many nations have adopted the petrodollar and will be put under extreme economic pressure without the FED's ctrl-P.
2.) Russia / China will develop and extend there new trade agreements outside the petro dollar even further. Seeing 1.) it is only natural for any nation to reduce systemic risk by developing alternative trade mechanisms where possible.
Reckon they are half decent predictions myself because of this and they are all linked, it all equates to dollars or more specifically the global reserve currency.
Holding the global reserve currency is a poisoned chalice and the blowback is if the rest of the world contracts / deflates how is the USA as a nation going to support a global level of debt? IT CAN'T.
If you explore the possibilites, hand Japan the global reserve currency now as a test and watch the same issues Japan has now arise in the USA. Notice also with the abilitiy to CTRL-P Japans debt becomes derivatives as a way to conceal debt.
To all goldman sachs, J P Morgan and wannabees who concocted all this it really is not that clever TBH.
Polish Anarchical Capitalism Rag Goes Bankrupt
More dead bankers will be found... http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/01/16/palm-springs-aig-bo...
There are ways to take advantage of the volatility...
http://www.globaldeflationnews.com/how-to-tame-the-volatile-financial-ma...
You see, we already have one ...and it's very nice!!!
To say San Francisco is a shithole is an understatement. A couple of years ago they passed a law called the Skidmark ordanance to require naked people to put something between their naked butt and the chair they sat on to keep any left over shit from getting on the chair.
And the guy that proposed the ordanance was named Scott Wiener.
Last year, Wiener passed legislation known as the "skid mark law." That law, which passed the Board of Supervisors unanimously, requires nudists to place barriers between their bare bottoms and public chairs or benches, but many Castro residents complained that didn't go far enough.
http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Legislation-seeks-to-clothe-Castro...
EPA Announces Plan to Raise Carbon Tax
Internal studies look at feasibilty of taxing dark energy and dark matter.
Democratic leaders in Congress decry the fact that the majority of the universe goes untaxed.
New NASA Study Warns of Carbon Shortage in the Universe
Burning more fossil fuels looked at as way to prevent cosmic carbon famine.
Scientists Propose Reducing the Speed of Light to Save Energy.
Novel use of red tinted glasses creates synthetic "red shift", makes everything look slower.