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IBM Stock Disappointed That Company Isn't Firing A Mindboggling 110,000
Over the weekend, in a repeat of rumors that were widespread last year, Forbes 'reported' about Project Chrome, a massive corporate reorganization for IBM that would see Big Blue cull over a quarter of its staff – in real terms that means over 110,000 employees, as early as next week. IBM stocks surged higher on this 'great' news... and then, disappointment started as "the largest corporate restructuring in history" was denied by the company...
“IBM does not comment on rumors, even ridiculous or baseless ones,” a spokesman said.
“If anyone had checked information readily available from our public earnings statements, or had simply asked us, they would know that IBM has already announced the company has just taken a $600 million charge for workforce rebalancing. This equates to several thousand people, a small fraction of what’s been reported.”
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Just think of the losty buyback opportunities...
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IBM.
Indians, Badly Managed playing true to its name.
I only knew Incompatible Business Machines but I guess there are many more.
What, no lion food jokes?
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lion+food
The original was oooooold ... 80s I think. How things change!
Regards,
Cooter
I told you so.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-11-25/cant-be-good#comment-4188811
Comparing IBM to Kodak?
Yes.
Except, Kodak had much better brand loyalty.
Nobody ever wrote a song saying...
" Workforce rebalancing ? "
The corporate euphemisms get better every week.
Arrr, that be corporate pirate speak for walkin' the plank.
Root for the fuckin' bread lines!
For a time IBM was the Fat Bastard of bloated companies.
pods
What's another 100K people on the street looking for government handouts? As long as the traders can make an extra buck,it's all good. We've got Obamacare and some part time and/or minimum wage jobs waiting for these folks with open arms.
I am sure the rest of the world is sick of technology with back doors built in for .gov's to spy on you...
"Nobody ever wrote a song saying...
Idiots for enabling the
Bill Gates virus to activate via their laughable
Mistakes
Invested in a
B
M
Indians
Blowing
Money
International
Biryani
Machine
International Buyback Machine.
Of courae, this could also be a leak that's months in advance and they're denying it so as to keep the troops from jumping ship.
Jump to where? Bangalore?
Overboard.. with office supplies, backup tapes and contact lists in hand.
I always liked to watch the vultures circle to grab whatever wasn't nailed down. Or jockeying for the cube or desk with a 'view'. Gawd how I don't miss those days. ;-)
Or else a trial balloon - to see if the boost to stock value would justify the firings - which popped immediately, and tells me the breadth and depth of upcoming top and bottom line trouble at old blu.
Talent can almost always opportunity. Not everyone is talented, but those are the bodies you want to hold on to.
Regards,
Cooter
In most very large corporations, the people who suck up to the right bosses are the ones who get held on to. Talent is often expensive, and CEOs and other high-ups make more money in the short-term by getting rid of those people and sending their jobs overseas or to less talented but cheaper workers locally. By the time the shit hits the fan from the loss of talent, the CEOs and other execs have cashed in and moved on to the next meal ticket.
Boss? Is that you?
I worked for IBM in the 80's when it was a Dilbert cartoon in motion but the company knew what they wanted and a plan to get there. Of course the plan didn't always work and they were slow to change direction but they at least could find an occasional clue.
....Bullish .....see Greece
“IBM does not comment on rumors, e v e n ridiculous or baseless ones,” a spokesman said.
..
That statement has my nomination for the non sequitur of the month.
Especially since the IR guy just got canned
Stocks will never be pleased until every employee everywhere is fired.
Employees are as unnecessary as profits.
A temporary setback, the squids will find another way to profit off the plebes' misfortune and misery.
I've Been Manipulated
The New Corporate Order. Keep firing employees, increase margins, buy company stock and S&P futures.
don't forget the timely short sell
yes with the money you save paying salaries you buy back moar shares. it was several years ago alco had a blowout quarter when they closed their plant in washington? and sold the electricity (aluminum making requires huge KWs) they contracted to buy back to the utility company (at a profit). win win, they saved money on salaries and made money on the electricity hedge.
tell that cunt yellen to start loading up on IBM
Sick bastards! PUKE!!!
The anatomy of a leak? It would make a good book title.
"It was the best of times, it was the incontinence of times..."
Denials always confirm the rumor as true.
Ding, ding, ding!
winner winner chicken dinner
IBM had an Irritable Bowel Movement.
When asked for comment IBM's call center responded with:
"Is computer be pluged in? Have tried pushing power button? Is monitor be plugged in...?"
Is Computer Being plugging In? Having trying the pushing of powering button? Is monitor being plugging in? You are Having latest updation of software?
- Timothy Nahasapeemapetilon.
Companies now will try and raise their stock prices further by laying off.
The larger the layoff, the higher the stock price.
Next in the scheme of things.
is that before or after a holding company buys it all up?
Been done before... many times
Incomplete
Buyback
Malfunction
IBM is dead.
All they have, really, is the name and commercials.
IBM R&D died its slow death. Business services is all there is left, and its successes (whatever that means) are tied to global supply chain health. Expect IBM to fizzle out and die as the great supply chain unwind happens in the next 10 years.
They laid off even more people in the early 1990s. There were many NY upstate towns that were devastated because IBM closed its shops there and it was the only sole employer there.
You can say that again. Gershner is not a popular guy in my hometown. Well, what's left of my old hometown. They did pollute like half of Endicott though, so there were some parting gifts, like TCE.
If anyone still had money up there I would make a killing selling "IBM left town and all I got was this lingering TCE plume" T shirts.
pods
Last time the Feds ordered gun shops locked up in the entire state and banned any sale one month before the announcement.
that chart just shows the antinomy between market dynamics and social dynamics.
Its the sign that as long as this model persists jobs are nevah coming back to Jefferson's land, for free men.
Only the slaves can equate to that expectation.
Open wide the flood gates to Mehico seems the best solution for WS.
Make sure you vote for Bush as he understands that only too well.
Obama is so half and half, its the grand canyon between each cheek.
Y'all know how ta vote.
So voat and cry moar of the same; American Sniper is the game to tame any fella who thinks he is "Lonely are the brave" lonesome cowboy in classic movie by Kirk D.
" I don't give a fuck if it's your house" is now going viral.
u mahd cause they made fun of ghez in that there movie?
I love it. Anything that makes asshole betaMales squirm is worth my money and time.
news for you fucking limp wrists. We are Legion. All of that flyover country is full of rednecks and it's a big fucking place.
Now cuddle up with your flannel footy pajamas and a latte and hold your knees tight, so tight to your non-existant chest with that happy thought.
We've got to cut the dead wood to get this country moving again!
After the Government we should take a hard look at companies like IBM.
People sold because the company outlook was BETTER than expected? Idiots.
Proposing 100k layoffs would only make sense if the company is facing something resembling bankruptcy protection and restructuring.
Facebook Market Cap: 217 Billion
Facebook Employees: 6300
Ratio: 34.44 million per employee
USA Capital Markets Cap: 20,000 Billion
Divide: 20,000,000 / 34.44 = 580720 employees for all of the publicly traded USA companies.
Capital City in The Hunger Games, in other words.
Good Luck!
P.S. If I used Instagram or any other recent social media IPO the ratio becomes even more dire. No work for you!
Facebook's market cap reminds me of what Peter Schiff said about investing in New Zealand vs Yahoo during the dot com boom. Would you rather own this one company or would you rather buy this entire country's stock market? Durrrrr. Same thing today. Would you rather buy Facebook or the entire country or New Zealand?
They will, it may just take a little longer.
the global slowdown continues, clearly we must create more 0's and 1's because that will make people spend more
Am I the only one who sees none of this make any sense?
I've added $50k in debt this year, just to keep afloat. My son dropped out of University, I can't help him with tuition. And my leaders do nothing except tell unelected bankers to do moar printing? WTF???
Pretty sure the unelected bankers are the real leaders; also pretty sure if you can get the debt and run... it's free munneez! Provided you don't need credit ever again (I don't: I'm out) the free munneez can be used for any damn thing you want.
The DOW 30 should have massive layoffs,now that's the way to DOW 20K.
This is not a surprise. The company is old, slow and bureaucratic. Disaster Recovery Plan, yes they will work on it and its presentation but execution that is another story. I have worked with the behemoth in various Global Projects both as part of the Machine and on the client side. Ill fated projects galore while interfacing with them on the client side. Surprise, surprise when I joined them, they are a mess internally. The management created an aloof atmosphere where they feel like they are kings and separate themselves from the Contractors which are the Grunts. The Management is very traditional and are completely resistant to new way of doing things. IBM Asia alone is flooded with despicable management characters, their inability to communicate with the project team members creates relentless rework. Management team is also very enamored with the political games that none of them are actually concentrating on the real work and instead are busy setting up scape goats just in case fires engulfs the project.
The incompentent ones are rewarded where you will see technical architects that have not coded for years run architect design teams with no knowledge of what is new and have forgotten how to code. They are however very cunning in the political front. The Management instead of solving clients problems have now set themselves up to only please the client through presentation. Presentation without substance as the result of the lack of direction from the management generates various disaster chain of events. One incident client ask for a Euro based consultant with SAP experience, IBM management in Asia ignored it and provided the client an architect that have no knowledge on SAP. 20 years experience but a complete useless imbecile.
If Management is a mess imagine the placement team as well, the team do not look into the skills of its resources and constantly place the wrong people to the wrong place ensuring failure of the person to perform and the project itself. A bunch of Web and Mobile Developers and analyst were forced into a DB Warehouse project, how about some .Net Developer forced to take charge of EDI interfaces with SAP. As mentioned above someone requiring SAP, put someone who never did SAP, worst never even coded.
At an age of Agile Project Management and the rise of various tools to automate PM work, the IBM way however is stuck in the 90s where Excel sheets are king. No Basecamp, No Pivotal Tracker and no MS Project. Unbelievable if you witness what I have witnessed. My tenure in IBM was short but by goodness I learned a lot of things especially what not to do in Project Management. There is nothing good to say about the company. It is really completely hallowed out, all they can show forth was Watson but this clugging Mainframe based AI has no revenue generation and business plan. Unless Ginni has the brains to turn it to a her and sell it as a virtual sex bot where at least it can target the Japanese Market first then maybe there is hope for that technology.
Moving to Cloud maybe a bit late as well with Amazon already sealing the enterprise business. They have no hopes in hell going to the Mobile space either, the company's management hates new ideas and hence there will never be innovation coming out of that culture. The IBM brand is also tarnished due to NSA connection and hence I can only see further decline as Germany, China, Russia, Brazil and India companies both state and private will stop dealing with them as there are a lot of local alternatives that is safer bet when it comes to data security.
IBM is very reliant on old traditional systems that cater to supply chain of large also traditional businesses that are also going to the way of the dodo. In the advent of new technological innovation, IBM and all the systems it supports (SAP incluede) will eventually fade away due to irrelevance, cost, inflexibility and cumbersomeness. When time comes for IBM to go due to irrelevance, I would say good riddance.
You speak the truth, it is indeed frustrating in these blue walls.
I once bragged about my employer. No longer.
No Country for Old Dinosaurs
By golly it's a dead ringer for the U.S. Federal Government! Promotions, raises and drinks all around!
you are absolutely right, I have worked with IBM many times in the past, and couldn't be a more accurate description to what I have seen. There are some amazing talent on IBM, very few, but between "old boys network" of baby boomers playing politics and the Indian orde, the company will keep fading away
I told them there was no future in computing.
About 3 yrs years ago Cringley predicted a 78% layoff by 2015. So I'd take this rumor with a grain of salt...
http://www.cringely.com/2012/04/18/not-your-fathers-ibm/#comment-206300
Just happens to match the increased cap of 110,000 (from 65,000) on the new "Skilled Immigration Bill" proposed in the senate.
The Immigration Innovation (“I-Squared”) bill, introduced by Sens. Orrin Hatch (R-UT), Jeff Flake (R-AZ), Marco Rubio (R-FL), Amy Klobuchar (D-MN), Chris Coons (D-DE), and Richard Blumenthal (D-CT), would also enable companies to hire an unlimited number of workers with advanced degrees from U.S. institutions in science, technology, engineering and math, which critics have said would turn some universities into diploma factories for foreign students. Currently, the first 20,000 H-1B applications for those with advanced STEM degrees are exempted.
from Brietbart
1) still up from last close
2) looks much more correlated to copper's price than any of this (s)n00ze
http://stockcharts.com/h-sc/ui?s=IBM&p=D&yr=3&mn=0&dy=0&id=p04026677141
http://scharts.co/18la1Aj
Worked for an American tech company which was always profitable. Yet every so often I'd get a call to fire x number of people. Why? Share price. You lose good people and, being Europe pay them big severance packages. The logic of the prevailing "capitalist" system.
Seems like that system still operates.
Those laid off will be getting paid what they are worth shortly.
Watson is coming back to Jeapordy with prosthetics and animatronics significantly hampered.