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Cramer Does It Again: Box Is "Home-Run" In "Remarkably Healthy Market"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

On Monday - after the close - after a big dead-cat-bounce off the post-Greek-election overnight lows, none other than CNBC's Jim Cramer announced to his dwindling audience that "he's calculated that it's actually a remarkably healthy" market... The Dow is now over 300 points lower, despite his showing investors the "eight signs of a healthy market." However, it is his energetic pitch for the looming Shake Shack IPO on the heels of the "home-run" Box IPO (which is now below its release price and down well over 20% from the highs in 3 days) that, we suspect, confirms the utter collapse of his listening or viewing audience (no matter how 'wrong' the surveys are).

As CNBC reported,

Is the market a sick patient right now, or is it healthy enough to invest? Jim Cramer has his own way of taking the pulse of the market, and he's calculated that it's actually remarkably healthy.

 

The "Mad Money" host defines as healthy market as one that gives investors a chance to participate, and that's just what it is doing. To help spot the opportunities, Cramer listed eight signs of a healthy market.

 

A few of the signs include merger and acquisition activity, reduction of overseas worries and IPOs doing well, such as Box and the upcoming Shake Shack IPO.

 

"My only regret is not being even more bullish than I was because Box was a total homerun. That's what happens in a real good market," said the "Mad Money" host.

And the aftermath. An unambiguoulsy unhealthy market?

 

Home-Run must mean something else for Cramer's "hedge fund"

 

As Cramer said this morning (seriously he did): "they're not very winning like we are."

 

 

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Thu, 01/29/2015 - 16:48 | 5721858 PartysOver
PartysOver's picture

Cramer!  Cramer!  Cramer!  All Hail Cramer.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 16:52 | 5721867 JungleCat
JungleCat's picture

Ave Cramer !

Once Yellen turns 70 next year, have Cramer take over. He is younger than both Bernanke and Yellen, and much more openly voracious. Then go long firearms.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 16:56 | 5721901 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

So what's Dennis Gartman been up to lately?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:08 | 5721951 3.7.77
3.7.77's picture

Remember he probably gets in on the initial IPO's, so he's the typical pump and dumper.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:20 | 5722028 A Fist Full of Fiat
A Fist Full of Fiat's picture

C'mon cut these guys some slack. Without them I'd have no idea what to short.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:14 | 5722313 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

C'mon cut these guys some slack. Without them I'd have no idea what to short.

Good point. Say what you will, but Cramer was brilliantly wrong on Bear Stearns.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 20:43 | 5722882 Pareto
Pareto's picture

Indeed!  Who can forget that moment of brilliance.  geeezzzzzzussss

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:00 | 5721929 Burt Gummer
Burt Gummer's picture

Fuck cramer and fuck this rigged market.

Buy gold bitchez!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yloaBw80fV4

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:03 | 5721942 auntiesocial
auntiesocial's picture

does the CNN Krapper read Zerohedge commentary?

play Swami sez and get wiped out! C'mon in! The Water Is Warm!!!

TRUST ME!

 

....how many people have been booya'd by taking his dumb ass advice?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:10 | 5721969 RyeWhiskey
RyeWhiskey's picture

Stupid BOX, or any other tech IPO for that matter - is a home-run.

For the Silicon Valley oligarchy, that is...

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 16:49 | 5721861 pods
pods's picture

#Winning

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 16:58 | 5721902 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

#Booyah

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 16:55 | 5721866 highly debtful
highly debtful's picture

Look, my dear cousins from across the pond, it's quite simple: if you ever want to regain my respect, please get mr Cramer to retire and to shut the hell up. 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 16:59 | 5721915 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

That's all?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:10 | 5721965 highly debtful
highly debtful's picture

IMO it would be almost as huge a step as Neil Armstrong's little escapade on the moon. Do you even realise how detrimental this guy is to your reputation? I mean, come on, you guys invented the light bulb, the aeroplane and Bruce Springsteen. And then you come up with a creature like Jim Cramer? Seriously? 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 16:51 | 5721873 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

anyone dumb enough to watch that ass clown, and then actually trade on his advice deserves to lose money.  

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 20:05 | 5722770 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

He must have some serious photos of some CNBC execs and barn animals.

There can be no other explanation.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 16:53 | 5721874 EmmittFitzhume
EmmittFitzhume's picture

I'm convinced that CNBS pays people to call into mad money

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 16:54 | 5721889 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

I doubt they can even afford that at this point. They probably have people in the studio "call in," like Mike the cameraman and Phil the janitor.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:06 | 5721954 JungleCat
JungleCat's picture

I, on the other hand, am not convinced that CNBC pays people to call into "Mad Bunny". Chiefly, I am not convinced due to the virtually inexhaustible supply of idiots in the world.

But I would be happy to look at whatever evidence you have.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 20:39 | 5722867 Lokking4AnEdge
Lokking4AnEdge's picture

BOOYAH!!!!!!

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 20:40 | 5722875 Pareto
Pareto's picture

I am almost certain that I have heard the same fucking guy from Florida - at least 3 times.  While I have no proof - maybe its just the "Mike from Florida....Miiiiiiike" that I've heard so many times - just before - "And that....ladies and gentlemen.....is the conclusion.....of the LIGHTNING ROUND!!!!", which took me the better part of 4 years to undertsand what he actually said because it really sounds like "anthatladioandgentlemnisthej cnslsuiof the igh rond".

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 16:54 | 5721883 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Who listens to that f@&king clown shoes. It's a sure thing to the retail investor = bag holders.

And be sure NOT to sell your shares right away lest you lose IPO allotments in the future.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 16:56 | 5721897 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Cramhole's obvious purpose is to sucker in sheep to be sheared by those he actually works for....obviously.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 16:56 | 5721906 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Buffoonery

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:00 | 5721918 RougeUnderwriter
RougeUnderwriter's picture

<<<  Boh YA

<<<  Boh NO

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:00 | 5721920 serotonindumptruck
serotonindumptruck's picture

I'd pay to see Cramer completely lose his mind, pour gasoline all over himself, and self-immolate on air.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:08 | 5721962 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

He seems more of the 'hostage taker' type to me....'If I'm goin down, EVERYBODY is goin down with me!'

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:00 | 5721921 homiegot
homiegot's picture

It is quite remarkable. 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:01 | 5721928 Lokking4AnEdge
Lokking4AnEdge's picture

"Cramberries" are good inside muffins......

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:02 | 5721930 PenchantForHoarding
PenchantForHoarding's picture

I can't help but laugh at the relentless Cramer bashing on ZH, where new articles reference all the prior articles, stats, viewership declines etc.

LOL - the guy is SUCH a roaring asshole, it's good to see the editorial staff ride the hell out of someone who so, so deserves it.

Keep up the good work!

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:08 | 5721944 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

They know nothing! NOTHING!! THEY! KNOW! NOTHINGGG!!
LOL...I can't wait to see that on air meltdown again soon from The Cramholio.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:03 | 5721940 jim249
jim249's picture

I never heard of Shake Shack until the IPO announcement. I did a quick check on the reviews of its food. The restaurant in Chicago gets a 3 *** rating out of five. The comments are not exactly very good. Just shows you that Wall Street wants you to buy so they can sell.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:19 | 5722025 in-Credible Banker
in-Credible Banker's picture

I've eaten there once - at the location in GCT.  Actually really liked the burger, and the fries.  

My office used to be across from Madison Square Park and I consistently marveled at how long the Shake Shack queue was.  I could never figure out what was so great about a burger to make people want to wait so long but wait they did.  And still do.

 

So in this case there seems to be a bit of a cult following and people are actually BUYING the product.   Much more so than the FB's of the world where a certain proportion of their user base is vapor.

 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:17 | 5722008 sheikurbootie
sheikurbootie's picture

Cramer is remarkably full of shit.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:14 | 5722032 Chalan
Chalan's picture

"You have to get in the market, Jack" CNBS Had money.

 

Do yourself a favor, learn technical analysis.

You'll do much better than listening to the cheerleaders on CNBS.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:26 | 5722057 perelmanfan
perelmanfan's picture

My God in heaven. Does any phrase more perfectly characterize our decline than "Shake Shack IPO"?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:59 | 5722233 artless
artless's picture

I kinda thought we hit peak stupidity with the Twitter IPO

but then I read here today that a burger stand is going public.

People it's a fucking BURGER STAND! The sad thing is that it is a venture of a man who WAS a respected restauranteur in NYC one Danny Meyer.

As to the post about the Madison Square location and people waiting in lines well that's just a NYC thing folks. There is no place in the world that characterizes the terms "sheeple" and "muppets" than the population of New York City. Dumbest fucking consumers on the planet.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:56 | 5722493 CunnyFunt
CunnyFunt's picture

So true. It is becoming more and more difficult to differentiate between methadone and isheeple lines.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:28 | 5722073 Spungo
Spungo's picture

Cramer bit me!

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:39 | 5722112 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    I'm behind the times I guess. I store my shit onsite, on my own hard drives.

  It's not like this shit hasn't been done 100 times before.

 Here's an intro to BOX.

 Box Inc. is an online file sharing and personal cloud content management service for businesses. The company adopted a freemium business model, and provides up to 10 GB of free storage for personal accounts.

 What fucking farce! I think Southpark did an episode, using the devil and Canadians, about this.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:04 | 5722250 artless
artless's picture

agreed. please explain to me why I would want this when I can pick up a 2TB drive for $85 and run it off a generator when the power is out and Time Warner Cable just shrugs its shoulders when I have no connection?

But I'm sure their cloud is real secure...

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:17 | 5722341 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

My Cunt-O-Meter (patent pending), has just hit 11.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:48 | 5722459 prudent_investor
prudent_investor's picture

BOX has too excessive valuation it could go down till 5$ and still wont reach value investor's  investing criteria!!! On the market now plenty of overvalued small to mid cap stocks with ridiculous expectation and/or valuations levels.

You can find short reserach here on some of them:

http://prudentvalueinvestor.blogspot.com

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:08 | 5722534 Ward cleaver
Ward cleaver's picture

OK, Cramer vs Gartman, who is worse. If u think that little screamer Cramer is stupider give an up vote. If u think the douche gartman is the bigger moron, give a down vote.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:21 | 5722587 ArtOfLife
ArtOfLife's picture

http://www.marketoracle.co.uk/Article13915.html

Oct 02, 2009: For those still in equities, we believe Tyler Durdern at Zero Hedge said it best, “Go long here at your peril.”

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:36 | 5722640 ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

the Cramer touch,

opposite

the Midas touch.

Hedge accordingly.

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