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Janet Yellen Saves The Day: Stocks Soar After Fed Chairwoman Tells Democrats To BTFD

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Because everyone knows you BTFD when Janet Yellen speaks (and Sell The F**king Shit, aka STFS, out of precious metals in the middle of surging currency volatility and monetray policy chaos...)

 

Thank The Market Gods for Janet Yellen... Stocks were rescued back above their 100DMAs to prove everything is fine...

 

Which dragged all stock indices back into the green post-QE3

 

The big news today was Gold & Silver crushed... Crude new cycle lows... and Swiss Franc slapped hard and put away wet... (oh and stocks bounced)

Stocks started to squeeze after Europe closed (as usual) and then Janet Yellen struck with hints to Senate Democrats that its tiem to BTFD!! Ramped back to unch from yesterday's FOMC but could not hold it!!

 

Some context for the exuberance today... As Small Caps creep green for the week

 

Stocks decoupled from rates...

 

Treasury yields remain lower on the week...

 

The USDollar fell modestly today led by EUR strength but Swissy was smashed lower again...

 

Commodities are all lower on the week with silver clubbed today leading the way...

 

Yet again Crude made fresh cycle lows... (before bouncing back once again)

 

And Energy stocks tumbled back to that reality...

 

 

Silver and Gold really accelerated lower after Crude broke $44 (around the European Close)

 

Gold tumbled despite the resurgence in Currency vol...

 

Charts: Bloomberg

 

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Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:08 | 5721953 xyu
xyu's picture

Healthy

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:10 | 5721970 Burt Gummer
Burt Gummer's picture

BTFAUD. (Buy The Fuckin' Gold Dip)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yloaBw80fV4

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:26 | 5722033 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Farce.

I've got your back, so BTFD.  We central bankers don't lie, so c'mon, just trust me.

 

Ignore:

  • SNB peg that was "to never be undone"
  • Bernanke "we are not monetizing the debt"
  • Junker "when it's serious, you have to lie"
  • Bernanke CB's buy gold "cuz of tradition, I guess"
  • ECB QE will work because "it's got girth"

and anything else we've said that wasn't true.

- Mr. Yellen

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:28 | 5722068 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

She told the Dems I got your back is not a lie, that's encouraging the base with free money.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:37 | 5722111 walküre
walküre's picture

Is she setting up Dems to be the biggest bag holders of all times? Why trust her?

I call bluff. Rates are not rising and the market will continue to tank.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:44 | 5722139 TheKinski
TheKinski's picture

Yes, I agree Walkure.

However, I am just about broke from calling their bluff for the past 8 years...

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:48 | 5722163 walküre
walküre's picture

You can't short this crap. I know, I've tried myself. The house always wins. But I wouldn't be caught dead going long any of their manipulated stocks. Only insiders or maybe holders of seed stock and even that ratio is 1 out of 25.

Lack of Fed QE has dried up liquidity even more. Markets aren't allowed to go down, rates aren't allowed to rise. Fed is playing this market tightly and nobody ever cash in.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:10 | 5722288 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

The first chart shows everything you need to know. You have to be a special kind of retard not to understand the desperate manipulation at hand.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:05 | 5722508 knukles
knukles's picture

Guys, I'm with you all on being suspicious of equity valuations.  They're just seemingly  nonsense, at least to an old-timer like me who used to see real earnings and discount rate relationships, be able to grasp P/E expansions and contractions in some (then seemingly not even all the time) rational way.  So I haven't ridden any stawlks.  But, gotta tell y'all, gettin' some longer term income locked up over the last few years startin' to look like a pretty good decision.  And I'm a thinkin' that still buyin' some is gonna pay "dividends" (bad pun and wasn't intended) as we trudge the unhappy road of NIRP destiny.
And in doing so, I am comfortable with a good sized PM position against Big Assed Tail Risks that are gonna come true one day with all this Global Beggar Thy Neighbor Currency Debasement.
Other ideas.... do not be leveraged in any real asset positions like real estate.  Deflationary trends is notchur friends.

Ag commodities .... for a spec, I been makin' a real small but growing position in Ag commodities.  No rain in CA is not on anybody's radar but those of us in or with relatives in the Ag business.
To Give You All An Idea of the Water Deficit.....

We're short multiple trillions of cubic acre feet of water out here.  So far this year we've gotten a few million cubic acre feet.  As in don't mean shit.  Period
Reservoirs are empty, as in bone dry.
Well water tables have dropped below well depths.  aka, Dry
CA is one of the world's biggest Ag producers, bar none.
No water, no Ag from fruits to veggies, from hay to cattle, to milk, you name it. 
If Mother nature and the Good Lord don't get us some rain, lots and pretty damned quick, there'll be hell to pay in Ag product pricing land

Why not in the news?
Because what rain we've had's been enough to green hills and fields, so folks (thems that can't open accounts on FarmersOnly.com) look about and think "shit's green, no problem".
So the common guy in SF. LA, etc., who've got water.... piped in from the Sacramento River area, Colorado River, etc....  where the newspapers and televisions are produced.... think shit's OK

It ain't.
A problem's not a problem till it becomes a problem
This is a problem
Just ain't become a problem, YET

So I've got nothing to do trading wise, etc., until the "Shadow of the Crisis" passes, This Black Swan has yet to be felt, kids.
So I've only snarky comments left.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:39 | 5722658 cossack55
cossack55's picture

I'm thinkin' XL is a headfake.  The pipe will actually run from Lake Michigan straight to Californy.  Oil my ass.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 20:51 | 5722916 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

I like the way you think.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 20:54 | 5722934 TuPhat
TuPhat's picture

I don't need veggies or salmonela from California so I don't care if you don't grow it.  Looks bad for you but the rest of the country has other places to get veggies.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 21:32 | 5723067 pods
pods's picture

Just remember you will be competing with all the other people who WOULD buy the products that California produces.

pods

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 23:54 | 5723624 Money Boo Boo
Money Boo Boo's picture

yes, like lesbians and fur lined jock straps

Fri, 01/30/2015 - 04:18 | 5724038 August
August's picture

>>>I'm thinkin' XL is a headfake.  The pipe will actually run from Lake Michigan straight to Californy.  Oil my ass.

And Lake Michigan is 100% American, so those Canuckistanis will never know what hit them! 

This is going to be so great! Winning!

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 21:14 | 5723004 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

Low on water? Like, for the toilet?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 22:16 | 5723243 NoPension
NoPension's picture

I thought you were talking about silver , Knuck. Ag commodities, I'm thinking why didn't he just say silver eagles?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 23:06 | 5723419 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

CA is one of the world's biggest Ag producers, bar none.

 

CA WAS one of the world's biggest Ag producers, bar none.

 

Fixed it fer ya.

 

Long Canned Foods...Meats, fruits and vegetables....Also Buy Rice, Beans, Dried Dairy, Flour, Sugar...and WATER.

 

It is the best inflation hedge available....and you can eat it.

 

Rotate stock and replace that which is consumed...Cost average.

 

Have at least 90 days of stock per family member, bare minimum...

 

Your survival may depend upon it. You also need Fuel, Candles, Lamps, Batteries, etc. Prepare for a Three Month long Hurricaine, or, Blizzard event. (Economic Storm that is...)

Fri, 01/30/2015 - 00:40 | 5723732 forwardho
forwardho's picture

"Hand in hand as we trudge the road to happy destiny" 

Brother knukles, Throughout your comments I find bits of knowledge from a Big Book it seems we both have studied.

A useful and whole member of society.

Who'd a thunk it?

:)

Fri, 01/30/2015 - 04:36 | 5724058 Farqued Up
Farqued Up's picture

Pull the plug on HAARP and normal cycles will return. Search it and think RF is to the magnetic field// jet stream as grid bias is to an amplifier circuit.

The net is they are fucking up the weather patterns.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:44 | 5722449 capital_anarchist
capital_anarchist's picture

I feel your pain.  Forced to take both pills now.  I feel like Elvis toward the end of his career. 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:14 | 5722561 knukles
knukles's picture

Poor Elvis.  Too much Oxy, not enough stool softeners.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 21:18 | 5723019 graveheart
graveheart's picture

What's the most commonly heard phrase by Obola at a gay bar?

 

Mind if i push your stool in?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 21:42 | 5723116 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

Fudgepacker!

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 23:57 | 5723638 mt paul
mt paul's picture

blue suede  stools ....

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:56 | 5722481 Escrava Isaura
Escrava Isaura's picture

 

 

Financial “Idiocracy” has finally caught up to religion “Idiocracy”

 

Astounding……. But not surprising!

Here we have many arrogant gamblers, labeling themselves investors (LOL), questioning the political and economic structures, all while believing that their financial schemes, instead, can change the course of this bleak, empty Empire. Go figure!

 

Beans, Bandaids, and Bullets

Wonder why?

First: Energy

The data below is barrels of oil per day per rig.

Middle East

2000 Average: 140,144 / 2014 Average: 59,945 = Decline of 57%

US:

2000 Average: 6,465 / 2014 Average: 4,577 = Decline of 29%

World

2000 Average: 36,148 / 2014 Average: 21,698 = Decline of 39%

http://peakoilbarrel.com/rig-count-drilling-less-oil/

 

Second: Finance

In 2015 AD, humanity condenses into a single couple of superhumans.

While increasing the total debt by $1 provides an at least $0.01 growth in the nominal GDP (immature debt), the system can grow by exponentially increasing the amount of new borrowings.

When the growth in the nominal GDP per $1 of new debt becomes zero, refinancing the accumulated debt and interest becomes impossible, and the system implodes.

http://2012wiki.com/index.php?title=Novelty_theory

 

 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:59 | 5722506 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

She is from the very very progressive some might even say communist city of San Francisco. Do you really think she would set up her friends for a free fall. Case closed. Rates are going no where under Yellen. She is as evil and out of control as anyone we've ever had at the helm of the Fed.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:10 | 5722535 knukles
knukles's picture

SF is not Commie.  It's batshit socialist neo-feudal fucking crazy.  You can't even live in SF anymore what with rents, property prices, etc.
Only the rich are there.
Well, OK, lots of Cadillac Commies, but most of them have either phenomenal incomes or tax shelter everything.... they's ain't the ones pays for this shit.
Poor moral fiber of most the folks there.  Was when it was the Gold Rush outpost and never ever changed, regardless of myth and public perceptions.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 23:55 | 5723628 Money Boo Boo
Money Boo Boo's picture

who washes their dishes?

Fri, 01/30/2015 - 03:30 | 5723992 Major Malfunction
Major Malfunction's picture

Kenmore dishwasher?  General Electric?

 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 22:41 | 5723321 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

I totally agree, I think the air is about out of this bubble.  Even the bubble is old and wants to deflate.  It's time to put this thing to rest and take  our medicine.

 

Fri, 01/30/2015 - 07:13 | 5724154 new game
new game's picture

when the sun shines, UV takes its gradual toll...

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:31 | 5722082 Oracle 911
Oracle 911's picture

It's just me, or these jawbonings from FED and ECB are really not as effective as were in the past?

The ECB Q€ in current form is jawboning.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:40 | 5722119 Wait What
Wait What's picture

you sir, are correct!

no capitulation from the Fed... yet.

"reflate or die!" screamed Yellen, as she charged the oncoming shadow of the deflationary army.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:47 | 5722161 Chad_the_short_...
Chad_the_short_seller's picture

Do you not remember that 7 day rally that was like 1100 points on the dow?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:28 | 5722608 runningman18
runningman18's picture

You mean the rally that was lost about a week and a half later?  Remember how for the past three years during QE we had almost no notable stock volatility, and now the markets are hit 1000 points from week to week?  Something has definitely changed for the worse and the banks are not propping up equities like they were.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 22:00 | 5723196 Chad_the_short_...
Chad_the_short_seller's picture

What is your point and why are you asking me this? The post i replied to said they don't think the fed is capable of causing any rally now and I reminded them, or asked, if they remember that huge rally that sent the dow up 1100 points in just 7 days. Did it sell off? Of course it did and just like after the fall before the huge rally was driven right back up to new highs. SO once again, what's your point?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 22:22 | 5723259 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

The first test will be to see if they can get a second day's rally out of it. If not they're in for some hurt. BTFD is losing its punch IMHO

Fri, 01/30/2015 - 07:18 | 5724156 new game
new game's picture

fred, well then if jawboning becomes ineffective, then of course they will actually do as they say.

qe a coming...

 

 

Fri, 01/30/2015 - 00:56 | 5723764 Government need...
Government needs you to pay taxes's picture

Yes. . . but . . . the Fed isn't (w/any transparency) conjuring after the words . . . so they are just words.  ECB's QE isnt as forceful as Japan/BoE/Fed.  

Eventually the system will fail.  But I think we've got QE4 and QE5 yet to go, and NIRP on the US 10-year down to -1%.  In other words, 2017.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:16 | 5722013 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Yep. Gold and silver buying time. 70 oz. Ag, 1 oz. Au

Rolling rolling rolling

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:27 | 5722603 Bro of the Sorr...
Bro of the Sorrowful Figure's picture

holy shit i just woke up. first time a ZH "crushed" has been an actual crush in a long time. jesus. good thing i like low PM prices.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:49 | 5722702 nailgunnin4you
nailgunnin4you's picture

Need a better acronym bud the aussie dollar not looking good with china slowing down.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:10 | 5721974 flacon
flacon's picture

I missed the Yellen "BTFD" announcement. Did ZH report on it? 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:15 | 5722005 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Yup, and Yellen used Chuck Schumer of all people for the leak, yikes!

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:29 | 5722075 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

I'm pretty sure she's a NY Democrat.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:52 | 5722180 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

And a tribe member, just like Chuckie.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:04 | 5722251 Romney Wordsworth
Romney Wordsworth's picture

May the SCHWARTZ be with you young Jedi!

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:18 | 5722014 PartysOver
PartysOver's picture

Things must have been getting serious if they had to bring out the big bag, er, gun.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:48 | 5722076 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

And WTF was her reason to 'BTFD'....what do we got QE8 on deck tomorrow?
Fuck I loath and despise these parasites!

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:08 | 5722273 Chad_the_short_...
Chad_the_short_seller's picture

Are you antisemetic?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:41 | 5722437 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

No he said he's antiparasitic

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:46 | 5722451 Romney Wordsworth
Romney Wordsworth's picture

I'm thinkin' ur prolly splittin' hairs here...

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 21:11 | 5722988 gatorengineer
gatorengineer's picture

I cant find anything on any other site.  I am usually keenly aware of fed speeches.  I dont think I believe this one.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:13 | 5721982 JungleCat
JungleCat's picture

A lie a day makes the banksters healthy, wealthy and....you can only take this one so far.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 22:29 | 5723283 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

..and corrupted, fraudulent, freakish liars?

 

Ooops. I did not want to be construed as being hyperbolic so perhaps my description is too conservative?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:14 | 5722004 dimwitted economist
dimwitted economist's picture

the stock casino is FAKE! i bought some more silver today..

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:19 | 5722021 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Agreed.

Anyone wanna comment on what a fair premium over spot for gold or silver is today?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:17 | 5722009 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

I'm expecting a bad reaction to GDP tomorrow. Doesn't mean it'll be a good or bad report, its all BS, just how the market reacts.

They're probably pumping it for disappointment tomorrow.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:08 | 5721959 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I don't know about you guys but I'm getting pretty good at following the picture strips on these day-end recap articles.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:14 | 5721995 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

The "market" goes up, the "market" goes down. I just watch for the crash, the real crash. Everything else is just noise.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:15 | 5721999 Keltner Channel Surf
Keltner Channel Surf's picture

It's pretty clear the recent Bloomberg website redesign tooks cues from this ZH innovation, but went too far with an impossibly garish blue color scheme.  Par usual, immitators come up a bit short.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:20 | 5722022 Rainman
Rainman's picture

The whole site sucks of business insider .... think they 86ed the comment board too.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:12 | 5722549 knukles
knukles's picture

BBG is nothing but a Propaganda Outlet alongside CNBS, etc.
It is detestable when the editorial pages are found in news articles.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:22 | 5722044 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

The most hilarious/frightening story on the Bloomberg homepage is that Lindsey Graham has formed a presidential exploratory committee.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:14 | 5722551 Dungholio
Dungholio's picture

And why the hell not, someone has to put the repuglican party out of its misery.  Might just as well be a repuglican rather than a dimwit...

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:24 | 5722047 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 The old BBG site was much better. The new site is for dyslexic retards, that read from right to left while scanning their Faceplant page.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:35 | 5722097 Keltner Channel Surf
Keltner Channel Surf's picture

Resembles the Sesame Street bulletin board my kindergarten teacher was so fond of.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:39 | 5722115 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

lol

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:24 | 5722375 kowalli
kowalli's picture

Most important that they delete comments in Bloomberg

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:13 | 5722523 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  What's a Bloomberg account. Bloomberg is lucky they're getting my "hard earned" c(x)ash for BBG terminal access.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:17 | 5722011 Rainman
Rainman's picture

The devilish skull and bones on the crude porn chart definetely a nice touch

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:54 | 5722192 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

Those are dead kittens.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:05 | 5722252 General Decline
General Decline's picture

I thought so too. I think I'm going to steal that for my engine failure reports I write for work. "Irreversable connecting rod bearing death spiral starts here" insert skull and bones on oil pressure & coolant temp vs time chart. Lol

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:08 | 5721961 FreeShitter
FreeShitter's picture

Defend S&P at 2K at ALL costs, even if it costs the lives of millions.

Fri, 01/30/2015 - 07:09 | 5724151 mt paul
mt paul's picture

dow with a 16 handle 

on friday...

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:08 | 5721963 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

Won't matter....words words words...FED QE is over for now. We will be authoritatively below 2000 in months until they start taking about more QE at end of year.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:12 | 5721964 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Insider trading much?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:11 | 5721972 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

Now children, everyone follow the bouncing Fed Head...

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:12 | 5721986 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

if only martha stewart had won that election, she never would have set foot in jail..insider trading it's for our over lords er senators.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:12 | 5721977 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Jawbone jawbone hambone hambone.

ONE BIG SHIT SHOW.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:11 | 5721980 XRAYD
XRAYD's picture

Why would Yellen speak to just Democrats?

Goldman Sachs could not pay her the $250K i guess!

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:11 | 5721981 AC_Doctor
AC_Doctor's picture

Independent FED!  "Blue House dwarf loves Anacot Steel"  Fucking scum...

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:14 | 5722000 NoIdea
NoIdea's picture

AMZN and V beat so everything is fixed, (ignore that GOOG missed). Dow to the moon

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:20 | 5722029 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Yes, because using a credit card to buy crap is "good".

Just like the Internets have improved the human condition.

Dead cats!  I see dead cats!

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:14 | 5722003 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

A global Walpurgisnacht is coming.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:42 | 5722129 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

Haaaaa! I see you possess great discretion and taste.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:18 | 5722015 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

The biggest slave market ever, and under the guise of legal government and industry!

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:18 | 5722016 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  I'll bet the GDP print tomorrow is going to be really good! I want to see Mr. Yellen eat some crow.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:20 | 5722034 Hitlery_4_Dictator
Hitlery_4_Dictator's picture

This proves they are out of tricks to keep this dog and pony show going....it's almost over

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:28 | 5722071 new game
new game's picture

jawbone connected to the________, ha....

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:18 | 5722019 wmbz
wmbz's picture

DOW 18,000 on the way to 20,000 and then 30,000 by the end of  2016.

We have a very strong market! Jack Yellen has spoken and the rest of the world will infest what money they have into the USSA. Nowhere else for the money flood to go. It's all good, always BTFD you can not go wrong. The un-fed can not be stopped, they are the masters of the universe, you have been warned! Ignore at your own peril!

We departed the real world long ago!

FUBAR!

 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:19 | 5722020 ghostzapper
ghostzapper's picture

Note the shrinking time between verbal intervention . . . . . . . . . makes me strongly consider the Fed has been cut off.  A whiny little kid that's been grounded crying and bitching from his room throwing a tantrum.  BOJ also backpedaling.  ECB still hasn't actually put QE into literal motion.  Come on fellas something's shakin'.  

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:16 | 5722331 Bernoulli
Bernoulli's picture

Panic in the house. Everybody starts to understand that either FED will raise rates, which is deadly or FED will not raise rates, which means more than half a decade of massive intervention didn't work and they are stuck.

The day will come when very bad news is actually very bad news. Soon. Very soon even...

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:18 | 5722026 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

we kiked some folks

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:30 | 5722402 Consuelo
Consuelo's picture

+1000

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:25 | 5722040 Fun Facts
Fun Facts's picture

the fiber optic links between the FED's West Creek Operations Center and the CME were running hot today.

The donkeys need to be shown what to believe regarding Mr Yellen's remarks.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:25 | 5722053 The Shape
The Shape's picture

By June they'll be leaking about printing again.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:52 | 5722716 Racer
Racer's picture

June? They are so incontinent it won't take that long

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:27 | 5722060 Consuelo
Consuelo's picture

I always thought that during & after the Made-off incident, that the Goy would wake up and smell the coffee, instead of the steady stream of Hollywood nitrous.   Guess I was way wrong.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:27 | 5722063 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

All parabolic moves end badly... except those manipulated by the Fed.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:55 | 5722066 Keltner Channel Surf
Keltner Channel Surf's picture

Another day of hapless henpecked horizontality until algos spotted fresh buy orders in Congressional retirement accounts and piggybacked onto the YMMV trade (Yellen Market Micromanagement Vibe).  

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:28 | 5722067 madcows
madcows's picture

so they're not raising rates soon?  Well, color me confused.  Didn't the Money-Midget just say a few weeks ago that they were on track to raise rates?!  Whocouldaknowed?!

I'm thinking I need to hide some money around the house.  This fuckers going down.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:36 | 5722099 Westcoastliberal
Westcoastliberal's picture

"Money-Midget". Now THAT's pretty damn funny! An upvote for Madcows.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:12 | 5722294 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Madam Money Midget to you.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:34 | 5722088 homebody
homebody's picture

Years over due - audit the fed before they can scurry away with the loot.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:34 | 5722089 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

its not her  drivel speak that moves markets, rather the "seafood medoly" aroma that fills the room when she opens her mouth that gets the markets up. 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:33 | 5722092 Westcoastliberal
Westcoastliberal's picture

Okay, I think I'm getting it.  Just one question, though...which way does the market move when Yellen farts?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:35 | 5722100 homebody
homebody's picture

thats a way upwind move

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:15 | 5722562 Blano
Blano's picture

Yes. 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:35 | 5722101 new game
new game's picture

mission accomplished: congress can spend-low cost financing, stawks can run again.

soon as ten pierces 2 , rate increase will be back, ha...

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:40 | 5722122 yogibear
yogibear's picture

So now the US banksters start a fighting war with Russia. When all else fails they take us to a war.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:41 | 5722124 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Treasury going to start massive auctions of thirty, sixty and 90 day notes starting Monday.

 

36 billion or there abouts.

 

Good luck backtracking on normalization with those numbers.

 

Even a HINT of inflation could send those yields soaring I would think.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:11 | 5722283 new game
new game's picture

then they will jawbone the rate increase.

stawk drop, jawbone qe.

back and forth.

how long til something gives-i dont fucking know, ha...

Fri, 01/30/2015 - 00:18 | 5723689 DrDinkus
DrDinkus's picture

This is patently false, have a down vote. 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:45 | 5722140 Herdee
Herdee's picture

JBTFDYI eom

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:45 | 5722143 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Ma Barker has nutin' on Grandma Yellen.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:47 | 5722156 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Fed will start talking about a new round of QE. This time much larger than $85 trillion/month.

How about $170 trillion/month?

 

 

 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:48 | 5722166 David Fry
David Fry's picture

Wouldn't the quote be "immenently" as opposed to "immediately"? Just wondering the source was Schumer or ????

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:59 | 5722231 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

jew to jew, who knew? gotta do it in your face what rabbi judge would give a hoot. as long as god's people keep the loot?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:51 | 5722178 SaintInix
SaintInix's picture

You could go skiing on that dip.

Going to be a Financial bloodbath soon. À

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:54 | 5722193 Chad_the_short_...
Chad_the_short_seller's picture

I missed that announcement but I bought XIV today while the market was screaming higher and getting an obvious pump from the fed. Dow was up 150 and everything appeared to be getting pumped more yet XIV was still red by a few cents. I said, "ok, thanks for lagging and setting up a very easy to read trade." Now I see Yellen Cunt said to buy the dips, the fucking dips???? Woooohoooooo Maybe I'll hold XIV for a few days. I could just trade UVXY and XIV for a living and be happy. Although I did very well with my shale(WLL and OAS) puts, fuck options with this back and forth zig zagging shit. I'll just make a living out of playing the vix both ways. Yea, I'm bi when it comes to the VIX. I'm Bivixual

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:54 | 5722201 DrNybble
DrNybble's picture

One woud think the market players would get wise to how THEY are being played.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:57 | 5722215 luna_man
luna_man's picture

 

 

You know it's getting URGENT, when the WINCH CRIMINAL, has to take time away from that all important beauty salon appointmen to move the markets!

 

No matter, NOTHING, can prevent the outcome of what these CRIMINALS, have done to this world.

 

prepare yourself...you know, like some of those people, we only read about...MISERY coming our way

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:58 | 5722219 falak pema
falak pema's picture

The looming crisis in the other bond market : Emerging market bonds. 

http://uk.businessinsider.com/r-falling-angels-could-hit-260-billion-of-...

This will not help. As the currency wars eat away the hopes of economic growth in EM, the result is this move to downgrade their bond markets.

Where will all the hot money go ?

If its to the USd and US stocks; Mama mia, its becoming a one horse town with all the burden on a US nag that is looking like it will get shagged to death, all pumped on steroids.

Electric horseman ! 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:14 | 5722309 new game
new game's picture

what if the big red barn starts on fire? nags on the loose, ha...

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 17:58 | 5722220 SilverMoneyBags
SilverMoneyBags's picture

Its a 5 wave triangle. Has nothing to do with Yellen. This is why ZH is always wrong, they don't understand price action.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:27 | 5722387 CunnyFunt
CunnyFunt's picture

What do surfing moves have to do with "price action"?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:23 | 5722581 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 lol, This is this is the next wave of(retarded ZIRP) money managers that we have to look forward to.

Define RISK to me Jr. ~ You can't because you don't know what RISK is!

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:02 | 5722244 cn13
cn13's picture

How can anything be called a "market" anymore?

It is merely a price index controlled by a bunch of unelected former college professors in charge of the U.S printing press.

Sad days for Amerika.  The crooks are in complete control from top to bottom.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:09 | 5722533 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

It truly is sickening to behold and considering the number of people out of work and under employed it is very sad to see this once great country being led around by such incompetent bastards.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:13 | 5722312 css1971
css1971's picture

Still looks like it's rolling over to me...

Despite the instructions to Buy the God Damned Fucking DIP!

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:15 | 5722317 new game
new game's picture

time for an american spirit(black pack), anyone care to join?

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:17 | 5722326 Thisisbullishright
Thisisbullishright's picture

It lloks like the heroin fix is producing less of a market "bump up" after each subsequent Fed bankster BTFD statement..... just sayin.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:17 | 5722327 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

It appears Mr Yellen speak out both sides of s/he mouth. All Fed credibility is completely gone. The fear of the impending crash is palpable.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:17 | 5722336 Seal
Seal's picture

Is that a h&s in the first chart????? lol

 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:22 | 5722354 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture
A farce is a farce, of course, of course. And no one can talk to a farce of course. That is, of couse, unless the farce is the famous Mr. Yid. Go right to the source and ask the farce. He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse. He's always on a steady course. Talk to Mr. Yid

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:24 | 5722370 kianator
kianator's picture

Guys:  Understand how the typical stock market alogirthmic buy programs have been working during this 5 year+ bull market:

 

1- Markets (S&P) Trading above key daily/weekly moving averages such as 50/100/200 MAs

 

2- Market oversold on hourly charts (90/120/240s) testing key pricing support levels along with divergences with key TA indicators.

 

This equal market ramp such as todays 200+ DOW move.

 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 20:43 | 5722885 hedgiex
hedgiex's picture

Yes. Many algos are built to capture spams from steriods. Yawn - yet many preys still blabber on with right prices for paper assets that are based on their pains and dreams.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:29 | 5722393 Bernoulli
Bernoulli's picture

Oh and by the way: How does Mrs. Yellen know what they will be doing in the future? Do they already know the outcome of the FOMC meetings beforehand? There's something happenin' here... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp5JCrSXkJY

 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 19:44 | 5722677 max2205
max2205's picture

I said  it before but when a nation depends on a rising stawk market to make the situation seem normal, well it's just sad and pathetic 

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:29 | 5722395 buzlightening
buzlightening's picture

What a gift for metals stackers, as the house of paper pulp fiction shit gets bulldozed over the reality cliff.  Yes debt is wealth and toilet paer is money!  ahahahahahahaha

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:32 | 5722409 Dead Man Walking
Dead Man Walking's picture

Can't we have a SINGLE DAY where the market is not manipulated by the Fed ????

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:46 | 5722450 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

And on the 8th day, the Fed rested.

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:46 | 5722457 db51
db51's picture

uh..   No.

Fri, 01/30/2015 - 01:20 | 5723817 JamaicaJim
JamaicaJim's picture

Not anymore....ever again....until the GIANT RE-RACK

WAR.....AND NOT THIS CHICKEN SHIT FROM AFAR/DRONEOBAMA/GROUND POUNDERS...

ICBMS....REGIONAL TAKE OUTS OF ENTIRE PENINSULAS ....

A COUPLE LOBBED IN FROM THE MAJORS...BANKERS AND BILLIONAIRES PLAYING BOTH SIDES AT THE START...

BUT THEY THIS TIME, ARE TARGETED, USED, THEN TAKEN OUT...

THEN...A BETTER SYSTEM IS PUT IN PLACE...SOVERNITY TO NATIONS...

 

...BUT I DRINK JAMAICAN RUM...AND DREAM ALOT....SLAP ME

Thu, 01/29/2015 - 18:42 | 5722441 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Lets have another stack of those Hindenbergs, for fuks sake.

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