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Friday Humor - Playing Possum
Friday Humor - Playing Possum
By
Mrs. Cog
Have you ever walked into a public bathroom and suddenly realized you're in the wrong one? Where's the urinal's? Or maybe you've entered a room expecting to join a meeting and you quickly realize you're in the wrong one. Oops! Or you turn a corner expecting to see one thing and you find something entirely different. I almost walked off the top of a building that way. These are all examples of reality being 'real' and our expectations being entirely wrong.
Well.......I had a midnight visitor last night and he was the one suffering from severe disorientation. Mrs. Cog and I had so much fun with the images, video and narrative she decided to cook up a video and short story to post so you could enjoy it too. - Cognitive Dissonance
I woke at 3:30 am this morning to find no sign of Cog. My phone showed a bunch of texts and a missed call, all from him. This was not good.
Note Cog's tone goes from pleading to instructing to teasing and finally machismo.
As accurately predicted by several of our Two Ice Floes members in the thread beneath ‘Independent Cat’ something besides Tramp did indeed enter our cozy abode through the magic kitty door. Located directly behind Cog’s office chair is the custom cat door with a board secured to the window sill for Tramp to sit on and contemplate the world before venturing forth. We refer to his perch as the diving board.
I was already in bed sound asleep when around midnight Cog decided to turn in as well. He shut down his computer monitors and swiveled around in his chair only to find himself face to face with a plump mostly salt and pepper possum. Whitey was frozen on the diving board in sheer terror, only to increase in intensity when Cog began to talk to him.
Being the resourceful quick thinker he is, Cog reached for his iPhone, snapped a few quick shots and then began video-taping. I’m not sure if he was motivated to film in order to have something to laugh about later or if he wanted an accurate description of the ‘incident’ for the insurance adjuster just in case something went horribly wrong.
Now that I’ve heard his story and seen the video I am just a bit put-off he was talking the possum into remaining calm and playing ball with the exact same tone of voice he uses with me. Reading Cog is one thing, but realizing I am the recipient of his verbal propaganda after listening to him cajole and influence that wild animal while watching the master work on another… well, I just want you to know I’m on to you Mister.
Slowly talking his way past the possum, Cog carefully maneuvered around his desk. Aside from a few twitches of his ears, Whitey remained frozen in place. As Cog continued to film he interrupted his mesmerizing possum mantra and loudly called out for me to wake up. Alas it was to no avail; he was running solo for this little adventure. Leaving the office for a moment, Cog hurriedly scooped up Tramp and shut him in the bedroom with me. The last thing he wanted was to get stuck between two furry animals with sharp claws.
Retrieving a broom from the closet, Cog returned to the office still talking in the same calm soothing voice while he used the stick to open the kitty door behind the diving board. Whitey turned his head to look out, but remained frozen in place. Freedom wasn’t sufficient bait to overcome his fear. Cog quickly realized it was going to take a bit more encouragement than his Weirding Way and an open door to get Whitey back outside.
Returning to the scene with a second broom stick, Cog once again propped the door open with the first stick and used the second stick to gently nudge Whitey. Cog was a bit disappointed he had to stop videoing the episode and use both hands and had briefly considered using the tripod to hold the phone while he worked. But it happened to be sitting on the windowsill next to Whitey so Cog erred on the side of caution and ceased filming.
Slowly Cog opened the cat door and began to gently persuade Whitey towards freedom. Whitey decided to stop playing possum and reluctantly turned towards the cat door behind him, only to slide off the side of diving board. In what Cog describes as an amazing feat of possum dexterity, Whitey dangled from the side of the board hanging from his back feet.
Cog retracted the stick holding the door open and now used both sticks to hoist the fat, now hissing possum back up on the diving board. Finally back where he started, Cog continued pushing and lifting until Whitey’s front paws were out the door. Suspended half in and half out Whitey once again froze lol. Not to be deterred Cog poked a few more times and the furry guy got the message and finally departed. Cog says the last he saw of Whitey he was hurrying past the window on his way home to tell his story.
Still thinking on his feet Cog immediately locked the cat door, then located Tramp’s kitty collar with the magic magnet used to release the lock and let the door open from the outside. Freeing Tramp from his temporary exile, the collar went on with little fuss and Cog’s castle was once again safely returned to the illusion of security for a night.
I located Cog at 3:30 am where he had finally collapsed on the living room Lazy Boy. I had seen his frantic texts and missed phone call and asked what had happened. He relayed the story to me in its entirety, complete with images and video proof. We’ve hung out on the internet long enough to live by the mantra, “Pictures or it didn’t happen.”
I imagine Whitey got home after his trip to our house and burst into his dwelling. “Gladys! Gladys, you’ll never believe what just happened to me! You know that cave, the one on the big hill that lights up? Well, I found a way in and there’s a gigantic bear that lives there! And I came face to face with him. Gladys, you’ll never believe this, he talked to me! I was terrified! But I did just what we learned and played possum while he beat me with a stick. And it worked! Gladys, it was just awful.”
After Cog told me the story, presented his proof and we spent an hour laughing, we attempted to get some rest. Perhaps Cog was still suffering from a bit of PTSD (Possum Traumatic Stress Disorder) because he never fell back asleep.
The hilarious video of the incident can be viewed below.
Mrs. Cog
01-30-2015
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Gotta love the pet door stories. Here in the burbs of Atl there are more possums than in the country. We had one sneak through our pet door downstairs in the garage. What a racket it made when it couldn't figure out a way to escape. Hubby let the bird dog down yelling "Get 'I'm" several times. The dig went tearing down the stairs and chased him under our old Porsche 911. Old possum liked that Porsche so much he refused to come out for quite some time. This was five years ago and the dog still gets excited when the downstairs door is opened. Love your musings and like I posted the other day what makes ZH so great is the wide variety of experience and knowledge of the commenters here. Moving off grid soon and can't wait. Game camera at our farm shows all kinds of critters but at least no two legged ones.
I used to have a possum in my 10th grade anatomy class. It was a rescue from the area near the school. We fed it grapes which it loved. Interesting thing about the grapes is it would not eat the skin. Not to mention it was cute like a bunny when eating a carrot. Don't know why but the way they chew makes me laugh. Like a dog eating peanut butter.
Ah yes. Wild Kingdoms.
I felt like I was being watched while weeding the onions - and about 12-15 ft away was the prettiest fox. She just stood looking at me, asking "watchya doin?" and didn't appear to be in any hurry to get away from me either. I finally had to try to shoo her off like a dog. I realized later, that she might've had kits on the other side of the gate she was waiting for...
and I was both right and wrong. She was asking if I'd babysit while she hunted.
Couple days later we had 4 kits rolling around and playing and chasing each other in the patio and back yard. Adorable little things; sadly all grown up now. But they still come to visit.
Not all interactions with the local riff-raff are as pleasant.
I'm probably the only person here to have been attacked by a mallard duck. Ducks are profoundly stupid, and this one was no exception. She led her chicks from the pond at the far end of the property into the swimming pool, the sides of which were too high for them to jump out. A couple of them made it, but the other 5 or 6 were stuck and night was fast approaching - a bad situation, and the mother was clearly distressed.
I did the obvious thing and put a plank in the water with one end on land, thus making a little ramp they could walk up. Do you think they could figure it out? They swam around it, even under it, but not one of them walked up it, nor did mom walk down it to lead them out. Stupid ducks.
So then I got the net pole out and tried scooping them up at which point I had an angry mallard flying at me in attack mode, quacking furiously, with wife laughing at the whole spectacle from across the pool. I left them alone after that, and they did eventually figure it out, but my gawd ducks are stupid.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duck_crossing
Funny.
I once had a squirrel fall down the heater vent pipe on the roof. The vent had a pointed dome on it but no screen. That curious squirrel fell down two floors into the basement inside the vent pipe. Lucky for the squirrel it was Summer. My Wife called that she heard a horrible scratching sound from the basement. I drove home from work (2 miles away) got a box, unscrewed the cap on the bottom of the pipe next to the furnace and the squirrel fell into the box. Lucky for me I got the lid to the box closed before he jumped out. Took him in the back yard and let him loose. He ran like a bat out of hell! Poor thing. Talk about cognitive dissonance!
That possum probably liked how warm it was inside your office Cog. Try a Barn Owl dummy perched over the outside of the cat door after having it inside your office for a couple of weeks so the cat acclimatizes to it and knows it is not a threat.
I think I felt like that possum back in the day when I barfed at a packed bar in Georgetown (DC) on a Friday night. Hot girl I was after was right there too. It was a stomach bug that hit like a freight train but everyone thought I was drunk - and I barfed on some tough guy's boots who said he was going to kick my ass for getting barf on his boots. I told him he could kick my ass in the bathroom and I went thusly and I continued to hurl in the stall. He came in and looked at my face and said "It's o.k. dude, you don't look so good."
Cheers,
EBW
I shall investigate the barn owl idea.
That poor squirrel must have been terrified. Thank you for freeing him and then letting him go.
I have a similar story about barf and bar which I have not yet told Mrs. Cog. Maybe some day.
Wolves, badgers, mountain lions, coyotes, bears, racoons, bobcats, wolverines, and now possums. It's a regular safari over there across the pond. No wonder you want to carry guns around with you all the time. Always been good with domestic animals and they with me, but being a city boy, I'm not sure I can handle all that wildlife and their parasites. (I left out the worst predators wearing suits and uniforms obviously as it would be a disservice to the honest predators of the wild).
Talking of cognitive dissonance, I can't be the only person who gets a bit dizzy every time another WTF headline pops up at ZH. The frequency of these almost fictional, no science fictional, headlines these days have me make so many double takes that I'm in danger of pulling my neck muscles. For example, today there's a headline about NIRP, specifically, In Denmark You Are Now Paid To Take Out A Mortgage. It reads like a short science fiction novel by Frederick Pohl I used to read as a child and I am thinking (After putting my mind in gear after it was forced into neutral) how the bloody hell can this happen in an adult world? How does any sane person justify this monetary system with no basis in reality, a concept of a conceptual device of nothingness that we all pretend has value and utility, that people work their bodies into the ground for, that people lie, steal and kill for, that people prostitute themselves for, that has absolutely no fucking intrinsic value? How does anyone look at this comedic tragic farce day after day of fiat money, fractional reserve, QE, ZIRP, TARP, NIRP, BIPBADABIP without questioning the sanity of it? Sadly, the headline, "You are now paid to take out a mortgage", is just another in a long line of mad behaviour that is bound to get worse.
Sorry, that was far from humorous. I started off wanting to tell something lighthearted and it all went horribly wrong when I started to think about how unbelievably surreal things are getting. I should have started with a large drink and a smile on my face, so I shall end it here. Cheers, have a good weekend and say hello to Whitey next time he pops in to borrow the warmth from your hearth.
"How does any sane person justify this monetary system with no basis in reality,...."
A sane person would not do so. Thus insanity is prevelant and precisely why I have been talking about it for five years.
Hpw does one go about geting insane people to begin questioning their insanity? Especially when it can be argued, as I do all the time, that we are all insane. The answer is simple. You don't. You begin questioning yourself, and those around you who are not hopelessly insane begin to join you or fight you or hate you or love you or ignore you. But it is not the reaction you are specfically looking for, just that there is a reaction.
It was the reason I chose my ID, Cognitive Dissonance. I wanted to be a constant irratant in the eye and to the mind. :-)
I have a large fish net with a long handle which works great for these type of events.
I have a large fish net with a long handle which works great for these type of events.
I was thinking about a similar setup as I was looking for the broom sticks. I suspect this will not be the last 'home invasion' so maybe I should create something a little more effective.
Good evening mr. Cog. The other day I kinda let HH have it as related to my disdain for his dis ingenuousness. I made reference to you as well as him as having posting privileges.
I have no quarrel with you or him but I'd just like to know. For people who are posters like the rest of us, how did you and HH get to become contributors with posting privileges?
Are you both secret Tyler's,'or people who advertise? I can understand if you're other blogs who assist each other to draw readership.
I just genuinely want to know what makes you two so special? It is with all due respect and sincerity. Thank you
I can't speak for HH in any way. His story has nothing to do with mine. As far as I know the ZH contributors don't start out 'knowing' each other and I have no idea what parameters Tyler uses in picking them. I have never personally met Tyler and doubt I ever will, other than possibly in the FEMA camp. :-)
A few months after ZH popped up for the first time back when it was on Blogspot I started posting comments. I was quite passionate and prolific in my postings. Out of the blue a few months later I received an email from Tyler asking me if I would like to become a contributor. I gave it a few days thought and then said yes.
The rest, as they say, is history.
I do not advertise on ZH and only recently created my own website a year ago. Banzai7 was also just another commenter on ZH who posted links of his art in the comment section. Tyler also plucked him from the comment section and made him a contributor. I don't know George Washington's story of how he arrived here at ZH.
There is no 'coffee room' or central gathering place for the contributors. If we communicate with each other it is by our own efforts to swap emails in order to do so. When we become contributors we are not given access to other contributors or Tyler. If I want to talk to Tyler I must do it the same way as you would, via 'Contact ZH'. There is zero editing or screening done by ZH or Tyler with my articles. I put up what I want when I want about what I want.
I have collaborated with Banzai7 a few times and once with George Washington. But there is no overt effort to cross promote or advertise. We are just a bunch of dudes doing our own thing in the same environment. Ultimately I really don't know many of the other contributor's stories since I have had zero contact with them. If you want specifics you will need to ask them directly.
Thank you for your reply. I'm all for people speaking their minds, especially with passion as I'm a passionate man. I do enjoy your comments even though I do not always agree. Such is life. I just found it odd that people in the comment section here get to post pictures as well as articles.
Banzai I totally get because of the artwork he does as it relates to the subject matter here. HH has a specific bent which is why I focused on him. It seemed deliberately anti-American and wasn't sure if he was a paid shill and such.
Anyway thank you for the response and look forward to reading your comments and articles in the future.
Peace
Just a possum? Mrs. Wizard opened the door to let the dogs out only to encounter Pepe Le Pew who decided to stop by and have a sit on the front porch...
Been there, done that. No big deal. Open a door, let the poor animal alone, and he'll soon beat a hasty retreat.
It was around 10 degrees and windy outside. I had no intention of opening my house to the elements for god knows how long at midnite with wife and daughter sleeping. Other than that I agree with you.
You live in the wrong place bro.
Funny how just the other day I was thinking I live in the right place. Though I would like it to be a bit warmer right about now. :-)
Maybe you do ("live in the right place"). Have you lived everywhere? If not, how do you know?
In all we do, we tend to settle in, build some walls around ourselves, and become very defensive when anyone dares to suggest there might be anything outside of those walls.
The above holds true, not just about where we choose to live, but our political beliefs, our spiritual beliefs, our tastes in art, furniture or clothing, and everything else.
I'll bet you still have the same hairstyle you had in high school - am I right or am I right?
The Robertsons would have had him in a pot.
So would my grandparents. Really gamey-tasting though, and a bit 'greasy' to me. Not too bad fried though.
Ok, in the spririt of Friday Humor and "trying to get my arms around" Deflate-Gate (thats the range a football is required to be inflated, regardless of the temperature of the room its inflated in) I stumbled across an ad that is apparently too risque due to its "inflationary aspects" in some markets.
Now, I can certainly understand the vegans "frothing at the mouth" outrage at being used as mere props for the "meat industry" but there is a free speech issue involved here...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6xafz8V48k
...isn't there? ;-)
Those were perfect melons.
Firm and completely organic!
I'll stop before I get you in trouble with Mrs.C...but it was a treat to hear the voice to go along with your words.
And I mean that sincerely ;-)
Did you ever listen to my audio interview by Time Monk Radio from last March?
It's on the front page of our website. Scroll down a little and you will find it on the right side. It's the third Youtube 'video' down with the green background.
Thankfully it's too cold here for possums, skunks or ticks. Once a large brown bat flew in and refused to leave by the opened door. Live and let live separately.
lol...he got off luckier than Mrs.N's possum.
Of course yours didn't do the whole hissing & showing of his teeth either ;-)
Oh, but he did. I just failed to get it on video.
The first time was before I started the video when I began to get up out of my office chair too fast. He let me know right quick things were progressing way too fast for his comfort level. The second time was when I had to abandon taking video because I needed both hands to encourage him to leave the premises. He was not happy with me using broom handles to manhandle him and let me know his displeasure.
This fool wasn't getting any closer than I had to. Those teeth looked plenty sharp and the claws even more so. And he looked quite experienced in their use as well.
Opossum are surprisingly terrible at physically defending themselves; they tend to rely on first, intimidation, and then deception. Opossum are 'scary-looking' as a natural defense. Believe it or not, those nasty-looking teeth and claws are literally almost never used for self defense. Opossum show the teeth, hiss, and, if threatened further, exibit an involuntary reflex referred to as 'playing opossum' which they literally have no control over for 30mins to up to 4 hours. All the ones I have trapped get snatched up by the scruff of the neck without any trouble. Never had one actually try to bite me, dispite the show. They really are generally peaceful critters, unless you are a chicken.
Fun facts:
When they 'play dead', they have glands that secrete a scent that actually makes them smell dead.
They have a surprisingly short lifespan, around 2 years in the wild.
Everything I ever wanted to know about possum but was afraid to ask. Thank you for the info.
I will file it away under "Things I need to know if I insist on remaining up here surrounded by mother nature."
I insist, by the way. :-)
They are very experienced in the use of them ;-)
Glad to hear everyone made it out alive. Story made me smile and the comments, as always, aided in the giggling. Both help a Friday move along. Looking forward to hearing more from both Cogs.
Also.. Thank you for sharing the progress. Your team is inspiring a more functional and healthier world.
Congrats on getting out and on with living your lives!
Thank you from both of us.
We finished with the first installment of the photovoltaic system just before the end of 2014 and have spent several weeks now testing it under various loads and charging conditions. Basically just getting to know it. I plan several articles on the subject just in time for the first anniversary of TwoIceFloes.com on Valentines day.
At the Cat House we had baby possums all over the place. Inside. Our kitchen ceiling was unfinished and apparently a mother possum had given birth in the ceiling crawl space (also left open to the outside in one corner of an gable). The babies just ran around inside at night, coming down in the kitchen, eating the cat food mostly. It was amusing. They were really cute. The house cat's didn't mind them; I imagine the cats see their share of such things every night all the time. Well anyway I procured a small live trap and over a few nights caught them all. My morning bike commute had me riding along side the river, I strapped the cage on the back (my "bike" is 48 volt electric 14 feet long and goes 30 mph) and dropped them off down by the river in the riparian greenbelt where the habitat is fully restored for such purposes.
Also had a baby skunk come in one night, using the cat door. No smell or anything, I just heard it running around bumping into things and it didn't sound like one of the cats (who are silent and invisible) so I got up and had a look. Hell but that thing was cute! I know people de-scent them and keep them as pets, I was really tempted. Instead I held the outside door open and he noticed and made his way back out. I wished him a pleasant evening as he passed.
Animals are amazing. I always feel blessed when any bother saying hello. Even the rats in the garden are welcome. My wife the Manhattanite can't stand any of it of course. I pity her I really do. And then she up and married a cougar of all things, don't know what she was thinking that would be like. I'm surrounded by animals, they find me like I were a lost relative, and I laugh and invite them in for a warm-up by the fire. Of course I might end up eating them but these days I'm rather well-fed, they probably know that.
Secrets of the night.
While I have always been somewhat comfortable around wild animals, since we moved up here I have felt even closer to them. Several months ago just after the leaves fell two deer allowed me to walk up very close before they put some distance between us. While in the woods walking, cutting or whatever, it is pretty common for animals to come very close and even stop to check me out.
I often feel quite honored the animals, along with the land, trees, brush and under growth, have welcomed me into their home. It is most certainly a symbiotic relationship, one I am still learning precisely what my responsibilities are.
One day as I was doing dishes I heard an ungodly ruckus outside. I ran out to find my German Shepard had a possum in her mouth and was gleefully shaking it with reckless abandon. I managed to get the poor thing out of her mouth and I looked at it laying there in a crumpled mass of wounds. It's neck was surely broken.
Tenuously I picked it up by the tail and walked into the garage where mr miffed was working at his workbench. " Look what our dog did this creature!" He looked at me with eyes wide. " Sweetie, please get rid of that thing, NOW." I was incredulous. "See" I said while shaking it around. " She killed the poor thing. I'm so upset!" He drops what he is doing and walks toward me and beckons me to hand it to him, which I comply. " Listen, I will place it by the oak tree and let's go see in an hour what happens." I gladly and confidently agree.
An hour later we return to the location and it was gone. Mr Miffed covered his ears when I screamed " omg, why the fuck didn't you tell me!!" " Dearest, a man must tread lightly when his woman is holding something with sharp teeth that may awaken at any moment. Slashing teeth and a crazed woman is a combination no man wishes to encounter."
Miffed;-)
"But........something told me I should not let her down in this particular situation."
You are an astute man.
Loved the story. We had similar ones but they involved snakes. See you in a few months.
Mrs Cog is a great story teller.......and I seem to be a pretty good story maker. Can't wait till you're back in the area. Stay safe and say hi to your lovely bride from Mrs. Cog and I.
Ah, the old 'possum thrrough the cat door' saga. Wish ours had ended so well...
Wife is soundly sleeping when one of those critters walks in, jumps up on her bed, and at some length of time later, known only to the possum, bites her foot sinking its' teeth into both the upper and the lower sides of her foot near her toes.
Our four cats? Couldn't have given a rats rectum. Probably laughed about it for weeks. Me? I put a bullet through its' head the next night when it re-invited itself back in the house. Put the barrel of a rifle 10 inches from its' head and escorted it out the door. As soon as it cleared the concrete patio I cleared it's brains out.
Now don't get me wrong, I love critters, but that one was a known assailant and I value my wife's peace of mind more than I valued the possums' right to scare the bejeezes out of her.
Too bad for the possum it was a biter. As Rambo would say, 'it drew first blood'.
I'm pretty new to this 'husband and wife' thing, having been single most of my adult life. Mrs. Cog, saint that she is, affords me great latitude when it comes to the traditional duties of a devoted and loving husband since she knows I'm of little experience and quite ignorant in such matters.
But........something told me I should not let her down in this particular situation. And if I were to allow, let alone enable, a possum free range of the house, even if only to tickle my own funny bone, I would quickly learn that hell hath no fury such as that displayed by a wife who has been chased about her own home by a possum after midnight .
This old dog recently turn 58. Thankfully this old dog can still learn a few new tricks. :-)
Thank you for taking the time to share your humor, Sir and Mrs Cog.
Here is a tricky dicky situation. The biggest war mongering blabber mouth rippin on the other thing caled, nuttyahoo. Check out the blab look on this face below:
"With the city of Washington, D.C., continuing its 'Netanyahu invitation firestorm' obsession, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-California, has sent a warning to the former Israeli special forces warrior, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, that any speech he gives to a joint session of Congress would have a negative impact on nuclear talks between the Iranian Islamists and Secretary of State John Kerry, according to news reports on Thursday."
From:
http://www.examiner.com/article/pelosi-threatens-netanyahu-with-conseque...
Do something about the fleas. All possums have fleas. Rabies carriers too.
One reason why KISS fans never kept possums. They play possum, but when you confront a mama possum near the funky smelling hole where her brood are, she will give you the Gene Simmons Look, arch like a cat, bare her yellow, corroded teeth and hiss at you. Then you kill it, because they are disease infested rodents. Dumb as hamsters (who might possibly be the originators of the Richard Simmons look?). A KISS fan could not keep the fleas away... Maybe at some time there were KISS fans who kept possums. But apparently, not anymore.
Opossum are extrodinarily disease-resistant and toxin-resistant. They have one of the lowest rabies rates of any animal on this continet. They are even basically immune to snake venom.
I run into possum all the time in the woods. They seem harmless and wish just to mind their own business.
Last winter we had a heavy snowfall and I cleared a path to the outdoor wood stove water boiler. I usually do my last boiler check just before turning in for the night. It was cold and windy as I rounded the corner of the house and found myself face to face (well, foot to face) with a huge possum. Grandpa was clearly out for a late night snack.
We were both startled to have come upon each other. After looking at each other for a few seconds, as if on cue we both turned and went our separate ways. I went back inside, them turned around 30 seconds later and retraced my steps. Grandpa was long gone, but his memory lingers on.
Every possum I've killed had fleas. I've seen a lot of fleas on birds. I don't think this is the normal, healthy condition of birds, I think they were ill. But I think healthy possum don't preen themselves and each other like healthy birds, cats and dogs.
If you ever meet a herd of deer, they aren't at all like Bambi. Coyote eat your pets. Coyotes put the weak one out front as bait, then when your dog chases it, they gang bang your dog. 5 or 6 on one. Dinner. Owls eat your pets, those creatures whose rights you violate for your pleasure.
This is what your God is into...
My God? I have a God? Who said anything about God?
country folk eh? for Miss Gladys the Brave .... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrqGnA7xgCg
Vile beast! Well nevermind, a bit docile and anyone who carries their kids around via backstrap is a bit of ok.