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Steve Cohen Is Now Hiring "Creative And Innovative" Traders Right Out Of College
To all 20-something math PhDs whose hopes of rigging markets and igniting (upward) momentum with the Fed's explicit blessing, leading to 8 figure annual salaries, had been dashed in recent years as Getco, Citadel, and all other HFT firms now directly cannibalize each other in a imploding market in which there are almost no size order blocks left to frontrun, pardon, provide "liquidity" to, we have good news: SAC Capital is hiring. Pardon: we mean Point72: after all SAC was busted for being the biggest criminal melting pot of insider trading in the past 20 years, but since its owner is rich enough to LBO the DOJ just by selling a couple of Monets, the only punishment was for the old SAC corporate logo to suffer a death sentence.
Whether or not the replacement logo is just as proficient in cooperating with "expert networks" remains to be seen, but its new, old owner sure has a sense of humor. Behold the Mission and Values statement of the brand new Point72 Asset Management website:
Our Mission
To be the industry’s premier asset management firm through delivering superior risk-adjusted returns, adhering to the highest ethical standards and offering the greatest opportunities to the industry’s brightest talent.
And:
I want Point72 to be a great firm with a strong sense of community that always acts with integrity and professionalism and sets the standard for ethical behavior.”
Steve Cohen, Chairman and CEO
Like we said: pure humor.
But back to the good news for the Math PhDs who in the New Normal are better known as "traders."
Behold some of the career opportunities available for Math PhDs, pardon "traders" at SAC:
Drilling down:
Quantitative Portfolio Manager - U.S. and Asia
About Cubist
Cubist Systematic Strategies deploys systematic, computer-driven trading strategies across multiple liquid asset classes, including equities, futures, and foreign exchange. The core of our effort is rigorous research into a wide range of market anomalies, fueled by our unparalleled access to a wide range of publicly available data sources. Over the long run, the most creative and innovative Portfolio Managers have also been the most successful. The organization is structured to strongly support Portfolio Managers and researchers in their research efforts.
About the Role
We are constantly looking for Portfolio Managers who have an outstanding academic and professional track record, with hands on experience running systematic, statistically-driven, scalable trading strategies. Portfolio Manager candidates should have experience with all aspects of the research process including methodology selection, data collection and analysis, testing, prototyping, backtesting, and performance monitoring. We seek individuals who are innovative, intellectually driven with an intense curiosity about financial markets and human behavior.
Of course, when SAC, darn there we go again: Point72, there much better, says "publicly available" data they really mean "inside sources." And when they refer to "creative and innovative" PMs, they mean those who are willing to take on the longest period of jail time in exchange for not ratting out the boss.
And it that wasn't enough, SAC, ugh, Point72 is now going straight to college where it will hire "creative and innovative" math PhDs right out of math class to teach them all about the highest ethical standards of combing through "publicly available data sources."
To wit:
Point72 Academy
- In 2014, the Firm launched the Point72 Academy. The Academy develops undergrads straight out of college into highly-skilled investors on an accelerated timeline.
- From the day they start, Academy members have substantial responsibility and opportunities to contribute in a small team setting.
- Today, more than half of Point72’s current Portfolio Managers started as Analysts and the Point72 Academy will grow that number over time.
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the tribe needs to train as many people as possible to help them steal from the sheeple
Future Prison Goers.
Straight out of college? Would have better luck finding qualified people straight out of prison.
Hi, my name is Johnny Knoxville and this is Wall Street.
Why wiat until they are out of college? Like in music, their must be some 4 year old financial prodigies.
Isn't this the same jack ass who lost most of his firm on 9/11?
You might think he has tempted fate enough.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
/Sometimes they do ring a bell at the top.
why doesn't he just hire kids to follow around the wealthy and connected so he can figure out who's buying who like in the original Wall Street movie. Bypass the college kids altogether
Got one for him, right here.
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/397681/busted-jillian-kay-melchior
I'm with you Knuckles, but I think I'd rather see Jon Corzine doing life first. Just a personal preference.
It disgusts me that America cannot get this SOB into prison.
When the SHTF, (finally), I'm thinking there won't be enough lamp posts from which to hang these bastards.
just in time for the collapse. nice career path, kids.
Somebody's got to serve as a fodder supply when it comes time to toss a few under the bus.
How does someone get a PhD "right out of college"??
Cohen can teach them insider trading
What Ba'al demands, Ba'al recieves...
Cohen must be growing a predilection for little boys....
He could do even better by hiring those in jail for much cheaper labor cost.
Why not? They'll end up in jail anyway. They wouldn't even have to leave their current "home".
He could do even better by hiring those in jail for much cheaper labor cost.
Ivy Leaguers are probably better at criminal enterprises.... after all, those already in prison got caught
four words: soap on a rope
Innovative = Generally Unacceptable Accounting Practices
"I read avout the 2008 crisis in my undergrad classes..."
Well it's going to take creativity and innovation to milk anymore juice out of this turd.
<Understanding of market fundamentals and company balance sheet's not required>
Don't ask, don't tell throw Steve Cohen down the well.
recruiting from frats and sororities no doubt because they are going to get greeked in the end
Shit, I could tell them to buy gold and silver and lock it in a vault for free.
"I want Point72 to be a great firm with a strong sense of community that always acts with integrity and professionalism and sets the standard for ethical behavior.”
ROTFL
Don't laugh. A bunch of useless HR folk came up with that.
Oh ma aching sides....
Ethical behavior means no paper trail, just send the inside information to Steve via strippers.
"To all 20-something math PhDs whose hopes of rigging markets and igniting (upward) momentum with the Fed's explicit blessing, leading to 8 figure annual salaries, had been dashed in recent years as Getco, Citadel, and all other HFT firms now directly cannibalize each other in a imploding market in which there are almost no size order blocks left to frontrun, pardon, provide "liquidity" to, we have good news"
Gawd that has to be one of the finest pieces of cynicism I've ever read - and all True! Wonderfully done ZH -
Cycnicism? Sorry, I don't see it.
"......almost no size order blocks left to frontrun....
Indeed.
Satan recruits.
Sociopath Academy
Market anomalies: =citadel hft on/off.
Only Tribesmen and Tribesladies need apply.
Our mission: BTFD
Our Mission:
Create TFD;
Buy TFD;
Profit;
Looking for Fall Guy. Apply within.
Steve cares about the kids. Why let them toil away at NASA or a Cancer researcher lab somewhere when they could be making millions (while Steve makes billions). The guy is a true hero.
Is it just me or does the symbol above "Ethics and Integrity" look like an Asshole?
Not that I've ever seen one.
Well if not that one, what about the one for "Community" ?
love that "Ethics" avatar: an emty room surrounded by legions of points representing the top down view of the heads of the people involved...
wanted: fresh psychopaths with no experience-compelling caution in their risk models
Sounds like the Neal Asher book I've just read in the Owner series where there are the zero-asset citizens controlled by the elite.
Yes, but how much is the "unforgiveable" student loan to get the kind of lobotomy necessary to prep these fine young folks for the scholarly trials ahead (they may not need them but they're mandatory)?
Will the "non-disclosure" include strange entries regarding nail-guns and "your kids"? Nothing like "ambiguity" to make shit tough to tie down.
Doesn't their own oxymoronic explanation of their investment success say it all? As in the following: "...fueled by our unparalleled access to a wide range of publicly available data sources..." How can anyone have unparalleled access to publicly available information. It doesn't even make sense. Because it's, you know, publicly available and all.
Good catch. I want you as my financial guru!
Minimum wage, 15 minutes vacation.
Skype me.
Hey, any lemming can BTFD and call themselves a financial manager these days.
All you gotta do is read about an options collar in a book, and look like a financial fucking genius.
Until you get a 9 sigma move, and your collar is worthless. Bet you some of those retards don't even know how to calculate a 95% confidence interval.
Fucking retards.
As I've told you Steve, pay me what you paid for "Chariot" and you need not waste your Time and Capital on anything else....
As in all things in this Life, you get what you pay for.....
Events will Demonstrate that KNOWLEDGE at a HIGHER LEVEL, not "Chariot" or anything of the like, is what is truly Valuable.....