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"Dear 1%"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

"Dear 1%"

Why would an art gallery go out of its way, so to say, to invite just the "1%"? Simple: because when it comes to what the 1% spend their money on, and where the world's hyperinflation can be found raging without a concern on its mind, there is no better venue than the art market.

Bloomberg explains: "As two weeks of auctions began in London, Sotheby’s sale totaled 170.3 million pounds, which was at the high end of its estimate of 121.2 million pounds to 169.2 million pounds. Sotheby’s is coming off a record Impressionist and modern art sale that totaled $422.1 million in November in New York. According to New York researcher Artnet, global auctions of Impressionist art set a record in 2014 at $2.4 billion. Sotheby’s, which is based in New York, sold 89 percent of the 52 lots at Tuesday’s evening sale. In general, works by Auguste Renoir, Camille Pissarro and Alfred Sisley had solid if unspectacular results. Works with estimates below 7 million pounds were vastly more successful."

  • Pablo Picasso’s 13 1/2-inch-tall terracotta sculpture of an owl created in 1953 went for 1.3 million pounds against a high estimate of 450,000 pounds. Picasso’s iron and steel maquette -- the model for his sculpture at Chicago’s Civic Center -- sold for 8.9 million pounds against a high estimate of 7 million pounds.
  • A charcoal drawing by Georges Seurat sold for 7.8 million pounds against a high estimate of 7 million pounds, setting a record for the artist for a work on paper. The artwork is a study for Seurat’s painting, “Une Baignade, Asnieres,” which is in the National Gallery in London. 
  • A 28 1/8-inch-high sculpture by Auguste Rodin of “The Thinker” sold for 6.3 million pounds, above its 4 million pound high estimate.
  • A self-portrait by the Russian modernist Kazimir Malevich, valued at 1 million pounds to 1.5 million pounds, was bought for 5.8 million pounds after protracted bidding between one phone bidder and two people in the salesroom.
  • Among the five Monets -- four landscapes and one still life -- the artist’s 1908 view of Venice, “Le Grand Canal,” sold for 23.7 million pounds against an estimate range of 20 million pounds to 30 million pounds. It was the top lot of the sale.
  • “Les Peupliers a Giverny,” an 1887 painting of poplar trees sold by New York’s Museum of Modern Art, found a buyer for 10.8 million pounds, in line with its estimate of 9 million pounds to 12 million pounds.
  • “Antibes Vue de la Salis,” a morning view of southern France’s Riviera that was on offer for 5 million pounds to 7 million pounds, fetched 8.8 million pounds.
  • Two of Monet’s canvases surpassed their high estimates. “L’Embarcadere,” an 1871 work of a group of leisure seekers along a canal in Holland that was valued at 7.5 million pounds to 10 million pounds, fetched 10.2 million pounds. A still life of peonies in a vase that was estimated at 1.2 million pounds to 1.8 million pounds sold for 2.3 million pounds.
  • Among the marquee lots that produced mixed results, Pissarro’s “Maison de Paysans,” depicting a bucolic country house and gardens, sold at 1.9 million pounds, just below its high estimate of 2 million pounds.
  • At the other end, Henri Matisse’s “Odalisque au Fauteuil Noir,” a colorful 1942 portrait of the great granddaughter of the last Sultan of Turkey, sold for 15.9 million pounds against a high estimate of 12 million pounds.

That, dear readers, is what economists call the "wealth effect", and why generations and hundredsf of millions of Americans will slave under tens of trillions in debt, just so a few bored, uber-rich billionaires and soon, trillionaires, can sell, back and forth to each other, piece such as “Les Peupliers a Giverny,” an 1887 painting of poplar trees sold by New York’s Museum of Modern Art, for 10.8 million pounds.

 

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Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:15 | 5743948 Automatic Choke
Automatic Choke's picture

I'm in the wrong business.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:19 | 5743972 Pooper Popper
Pooper Popper's picture

Maybe you need a good girl band?

http://www.infowars.com/feminist-music-is-the-funniest-thing-ever/

 

feminism is a mental disorder,,,,but it sure is funny!!!!

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:25 | 5744005 gdogus erectus
gdogus erectus's picture

1%? 1%? WTF. 1% are not who we are after. We need to stop getting sucked into this language. It's the .01% that are the overloads. 1%s are us. Working doctors, small business owners, etc. Stop propagating this falsehood. They control the language like this on purpose.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:33 | 5744038 Syrin
Syrin's picture

Thank you.   I've been making this point for years.   It's a very small number of people.   The 1% cannot EVER obtain the wealth of the .001% because the income tax prevents them from doing so.  The 0.001% don't make their money from income, but rather from capital gains.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:54 | 5744120 SMG
SMG's picture

Not to mention the .001% have all their money hidden in corporate entities, that seem to really never pay taxes.

Also here's what some of the .001% elite think of the little people:

http://www.tmz.com/2015/02/03/paris-hiltons-brother-conrad-arrested-for-going-berserk-on-plane-i-will-f-king-own-you-peasants/
Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:24 | 5744262 unplugged
unplugged's picture

just say "the Davos crowd"

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:43 | 5744328 Panem et Circus
Panem et Circus's picture

I call bullshit. The bottom says "This invitation is an asset. Do not throw away." This is clearly a joke IMO. "Museaum as Retail Space" to me its an invitation to look at a bunch of empty commercial buildings.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:53 | 5744396 ATM
ATM's picture

First thing I thought is it's a set up to beat the shit out of some unsuspecting dry cleaner or accountant who shows up.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:25 | 5744269 City_Of_Champyinz
City_Of_Champyinz's picture

Man, I would have KILLED to be on that flight.  I goad that spoiled brat into punching me (not too difficult as he seemed to be threatening everyone), I kick the living shit out of him to the overwhelming cheers of the crew/passengers, and I get paid by his daddy for the trouble.  Win/Win situation!

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:58 | 5744434 ATM
ATM's picture

No shit. I would have had my wife video the whole thing. 

"Young man please, you are disturbing us poor folks in business class." (take a couple pansy -ass punches from this little pussy)

Smile for the camera and go about reigning blows on thie little fuckers until his teeth were scattered all abou tthe cabin. Proceed to take his spot in First Class after I shove what's left of his face into the airplane toilet. 

 

This jackoff reminds me of one of the Fords I ran into several years ago. Arrogant, pretentious fucktard! who traveled with his own ward.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:35 | 5744301 nakki
nakki's picture

Speaking of peasants, what kind of self respecting multimillionaire flys with the hoi polloi? Shouldn't a Hilton have a private plane at their disposal. My my tough times for the uber class indeed.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:40 | 5744086 Wait What
Wait What's picture

duh! of course the folks that control the language control the discussion. they control the intellectual framework through which a  problem can be understood, too. were you sleeping in the back of the lecture hall during linguistincs 101?

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:59 | 5744162 whatthecurtains
whatthecurtains's picture

No no no it's the 0.0001%.    Being part of the 0.001% or the 0.001%  or 0.01% is OK.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:11 | 5744224 sheikurbootie
sheikurbootie's picture

Exactly my point!  The average ZH'er doesn't comprehend this.  Those ZH'ers in the "eat the rich crowd" who believe that anyone that has a job and money is a rich beyond belief and made their money stepping on the poor working man.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:23 | 5744264 Steroid
Steroid's picture

"1%? 1%? WTF. 1% are not who we are after. We need to stop getting sucked into this language. It's the .01% that are the overloads. 1%s are us. Working doctors, small business owners, etc. Stop propagating this falsehood. They control the language like this on purpose."

 

% is not a good concept for this. However, there is another for concentration: ppm (part per million).

And that is about right, 3-400 for the US.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:42 | 5744329 cigarEngineer
cigarEngineer's picture

Very good point. Reading it, I also came to the idea that it's not the %, or the absolute wealth amount, but it is the political parasites that use wealth to exert power over others. THOSE are the ones we could do without.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 17:03 | 5744475 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

It's the Productive Class vs. Moocher Class. This battle is wealth agnostic.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:36 | 5744311 Talcott
Talcott's picture

Not for much longer...

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 17:50 | 5744735 ussa
ussa's picture

why use fractions?  Say the top 2000, 2k oligarchs...? 

People can count to one.  Once you get into more complex numbers their minds shut off.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:29 | 5744008 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Not seeing it very clearly, but the last sentence of the first paragraph appears to read:

"We have invited 50,000 of the estimated 125,000 high net worth households in Los Angeles to the inaugural exhibition of Museum as Retail Space (MaRS), an expensive new commercial art gallery."

 

Also, am I the only one who thinks (MaRS) sounds a lot like MERS?


 

 

 

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 19:47 | 5745084 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

 ...if this is how you folks make art, it's fucking depressing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9vzxzjsv6g

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:01 | 5744180 claytonmoore50
claytonmoore50's picture

Howling Banshees, or their imitation of a dog pound?

 

 

 

 

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:21 | 5743983 Took Red Pill
Took Red Pill's picture

Dear 1%, You live in the most expensive zip codes. Hope an earthquake comes your way soon.From, the other 99%

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:26 | 5743995 Paveway IV
Paveway IV's picture

Dear 1%

I think you all know how this is going to end...

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:45 | 5744104 Wait What
Wait What's picture

the 1%: "we're insured, bring it on, bitchez!"

you know who's not insured? those who can least afford an earthquake, the 99%

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 19:48 | 5745216 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Perfect, except some folks deserve to go in feet first.

 

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 19:55 | 5745235 Paveway IV
Paveway IV's picture

"...some folks deserve to go in feet first..."

Feet first and slow enough to make the woodchipper feel bad about it.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:43 | 5744095 Burt Gummer
Burt Gummer's picture

Maybe I should just drop the whole youtube thing and start doin' finger paintins' n' shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yloaBw80fV4

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:49 | 5744118 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

I will be seeing Lisa Jugart to express my desire to buy from them the list of guests that accept the invitation.

I will then on sell portions of the List to trained and hardened Criminals so they can either strip the homes while the Attendee's are absent or wait and find out who buy's an expensive article of canvas and paint/ bronze and releave them of the burden of storage erstwhile supporting the Insurance industry via claims on expensive policies.

Altogether a great stimulius plan for the trickle down effect .... Doncha think

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:13 | 5744197 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

I might be the next Pablo Picasso. I just doodled an egregiously endowed satyr (kind of a sketchy selfie if you will), a nude chick, and a compromising position between the two. And btw it's on a very high-end linen restaurant napkin. First $50k takes it but I'll take a decent Bimmer in lieu of.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:36 | 5744308 seek
seek's picture

Unfortunately those same households are statistically very likely to have both security systems and enhanced police presence.

Ever notice the high-crime areas are shitholes and not wealthy areas, even though the actual high-value items to steal are in the wealthy neighborhoods? Two reasons are the criminals don't want to travel far from home, and that you're far more likely to get away with petty theft in a shitty neighborhood than a good one. In places like Detroit and Oakland the police won't even come for a theft. Do the same thing in Bel Air and shit's going to happen.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:17 | 5743949 HonkyShogun
HonkyShogun's picture

Alternatively, he could have just gone directly to the L.A. synagogue. No?

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:25 | 5744003 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Winning post.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:16 | 5743953 max2205
max2205's picture

Sounds like those NBC scams to issue arrest  warrants

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:18 | 5743961 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Can you post the address of the 1%?

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:21 | 5743976 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

There are databases stuffed to the gills with that kind of information.  Street by street, address by address.  For the whole country.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:47 | 5744109 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Thanks.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:28 | 5744014 DontFollowMyAdv...
DontFollowMyAdviceImaDummy's picture

start with the 90405 zip code and just work north and south along the beach shoreline

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:19 | 5743963 Toolshed
Toolshed's picture

Let them get fat and lazy......they will taste better that way.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:25 | 5743996 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

10 hours in the crock pot will make any gnarly 1%'er taste better and easier to digest.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:11 | 5744218 serotonindumptruck
serotonindumptruck's picture

Of course, proper preparation and field dressing of the carcass is vitally important.

"Long Pig" preparation and recipe:

http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/e-sermons/butcher.html

Sounds absolutely YUMMY!

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:26 | 5744272 BeagleOne
BeagleOne's picture

L.O.L. + 1000

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 18:05 | 5744800 coast
coast's picture

Tastes like chicken :-)

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:20 | 5743965 Hitlery_4_Dictator
Hitlery_4_Dictator's picture

Stop blaming the 1%, they are just trying to help. Here's how we fix this, we need to give more power to the 1%, more banking regualtions to ensure the annomoly in 2008 never happens again.  If we would just let them use thier great intellect and generosity, they could solve this big mess. I for one can admidt that I'm not smart enough to deal with this, they went to fancy schools and have letters after their names that actually mean they are smart. The 1% are our American Royalty and they got to thier station in life honestly. Let them figure it out. Get out of they way.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:24 | 5744002 Hitlery_4_Dictator
Hitlery_4_Dictator's picture

Hey, if they want to spend some hard earned money on some art, I say that's great. Keep the art for us little people so we can enjoy it.  I don't really apprecaite art because I like TV, but I'm glad someone likes it. More power to them.  

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:20 | 5743966 casey13
casey13's picture

Art - The way rich people have laundered and moved money for centuries.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:19 | 5743967 madcows
madcows's picture

well, clearly real estate is overpriced, and the shit is about to hit the fan, so they're looking to move their imaginary paper money into hard assests, like overpriced art.

They could buy gold, but that shit is totally manipulated.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:36 | 5744072 laomei
laomei's picture

Try moving $100m in gold.  Too fucking difficult and there are export/import controls on that shit.  you think the 1% are planning on hanging out when TSHTF?  Art, on the other hand, is easy as hell to move around, sell to the next person in line who needs to move some cash and watch it zip around.  Not too many places give a shit if you are moving art around.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:54 | 5744137 Uchtdorf
Uchtdorf's picture

Just wondering...can you eat art?

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:50 | 5744376 unrulian
Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:03 | 5744192 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

If I had $100mil in Au to move you'd be damn sure I found a way to move it unnoticed. At least the gold has universal value. Do you think Jeff Koons' Balloon Dog will be worth what the last sucker paid for it? Only while art is in the current bubble.

The text of the mailer, while extraordinarily ignorant, gets the point. People don't buy art as a store of value, or even to have something beautiful to look at. It's penis-waving. It's saying, look at me, I can waste more money than you on some stupid shit that has no worth above scrap metal or canvas fiber. This gallery is not selling art; it's selling its customers a fear of being shown as fake rich.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:15 | 5744228 RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

When TS really hits TF you'll be able to move that 100mil in Au around in one of your teeth

Thu, 02/05/2015 - 12:35 | 5747656 laomei
laomei's picture

You're crazy if you think they are just hanging onto it for any length of time.  They have multiple overpriced pieces, which they dispose of in cycles... redumping it on the market immediately after a purchase is silly.  It's all about MOVING money, not storing it.  Moving around tens of millions AINT FUCKING EASY.  Especially when most/all of it is dirty money.  Buying an artpiece however... "private gallery/private buyer", and when it comes to customs, oh well, it's just a scribble... there is no real way to on the spot prove otherwise.  You can go ahead and sell at auction or you can sell privately to a fence who is willing to sit on it for a year or two before they then unload it again.  It's a temporary store of value which can go relatively unnoticed by most.  Sure, you take a hit on it, but it's not a horrible hit.  Try moving that much illicit cash, or gold... you will get caught.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 17:14 | 5744537 gimme soma dat
gimme soma dat's picture

When is that going to happen?  Tired of waiting here....

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:23 | 5743968 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Art is now money. A portable, bearer security with a restricted float.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:23 | 5743993 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Well, it's made of paper.  But you're not allowed to copy it- that's called forgery.  Only the Federal Reserve is allowed to do that.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:22 | 5744255 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

The 1% have their art.  Some of the rest of us have old comic books laying around getting moldy. 

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:20 | 5743969 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

I'm gonna get me one of those elephants what paints. And if the art thing doesn't work out I can always eat him.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:20 | 5743980 adr
adr's picture

I think what would be awesome is if it were a trap. Invite them in to look at art, lock the doors, burn the building down.

Voila, some of the world's problem solved.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 18:20 | 5744863 Baldrick
Baldrick's picture

the event is scheduled for Friday the 13th after all...

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:23 | 5743985 Mike Honcho
Mike Honcho's picture

Posh, very posh......not like the dictionary version but the Spice version; skanky, empty, and spiritually worthless.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:25 | 5744004 Archetype
Archetype's picture

Seems to be working for these guys: http://www.blingh2o.com

 

A fucking water bottle for 42 bucks, but the worst if it - THE NAME...

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:33 | 5744048 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

They seem to have an 'economy' option for 5 bucks.

http://shop.blingh2o.com/NEW-The-Crest-495-PER-BOTTLE-crest-casual-dinin...

Now blinging you affordable nonsense.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:27 | 5744017 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

Ah, the junk mail of the elite.  I just get flyers from Target.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:38 | 5744075 youngman
youngman's picture

Ya know you just get back from Davos....and you get this in the mail..makes you want to have a $50 hot dog or something....

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:39 | 5744084 Catullus
Catullus's picture

1% of what? Net worth? That's $8m on the low end threshold.

And if I had say $20m, the last thing I'd do is show up somewhere so that someone can sell me something. Go pitch it to my asset manager.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:57 | 5744158 Mike Honcho
Mike Honcho's picture

L.A. Hot Dog Vendors Association: 2/13/15, $43 "Davos" dawgs (does not include mustard, spit optional).

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 15:59 | 5744165 mama said
mama said's picture

Friday the 13th, East bank of the LA River, 1%...    sounds like a set-up...    <fingers crossed>

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:07 | 5744207 denverdolomte
denverdolomte's picture

If only I sold cocaine in LA that week....land of missed opportunities tell ya' what my friends.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:16 | 5744239 runnymede
runnymede's picture

Note to self: Best way to get the .01 to round themselves up in one place: invite only art show/sale. Might be useful someday. 

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:22 | 5744256 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

There are those that have become wealthy from producing something beneficial for mankind and society, or inherited it from those that did. Then there are those that have become wealthy on theft and destruction from mankind and society.

The first employes people in the utilization of capital, while the later employes people in the destruction of capital.

The key differences between the two types of wealthy:

Henry Ford was wealthy. Also wealthy are CIA-Obama, Harry Reid, the Bushes, Gruber, Corzine, Silverstein, Pelosi, Soros, Cheney...

The banksters need to repay us.

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:26 | 5744267 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

Their promotion would have been better targeted if they had just stood outside University of Phoenix Stadium after the Super Bowl. 

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:27 | 5744274 Nostradumbass
Nostradumbass's picture

Sounds like a set-up to me.

?

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:53 | 5744398 Farmer Joe in B...
Farmer Joe in Brooklyn's picture

One can only hope...

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:28 | 5744281 Greenspazm
Wed, 02/04/2015 - 16:29 | 5744284 HowdyDoody
HowdyDoody's picture

The really funny part is that all the art pieces are fakes. The originals are stored along with the gold that used to be in the Fed.

 

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 17:00 | 5744463 Oswald did it
Oswald did it's picture

I'm gonna write EAT SHIT on a plate, with my own feces and submit it.  Price tag will be $150,000

Wed, 02/04/2015 - 19:42 | 5745194 SmedleyButlersGhost
SmedleyButlersGhost's picture

I'm going to set these arts guys up with this Nigerian guy trying to get $300m out of there on the QT. Just need a little seed $$ to get this going. Please email bank details to get a piece of this.

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