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Venezuela Runs Out Of Condoms: A Pack Now Costs $755 (If You Can Find It)
Over the years we have had our fair share at the epic social(ist) experiment that is Venezuela. Below is a random selection of stories over the past years or two, which truly capture the essence of Venezuela's socialist revolution:
Unfortunately, the country whose president two weeks ago said that "Venezuela Must Deepen Socialism To Improve Economy", which is the political equivalent of "we must do even more QE to fix record wealth inequality", may have just hit rock bottom when Venezuelans, who already must line up for hours to buy the simplest of daily necessities (which they can obtain without being arrested in the process if they are lucky) now have to pay $755 for a pack of condoms.
“The country is so messed up that now we have to wait in line even to have sex,” lamented Jonatan Montilla, a 31-year-old advertising company art director. “This is a new low.”
And, as Bloomberg explains, while certainly farfetched at this point, one increasingly possible conclusion to the Latin American socialist utopia is a very tragic, and very terminal HIV epidemic, which puts what's left of the nation back at square one.
Venezuela had the third-fastest rate of HIV infections per capita in South America, after Paraguay and Brazil in 2013, United Nations data shows. The country also has the highest rate of teenage pregnancies on the continent after Guyana, at 83 per 1,000, according to 2012 data from the World Bank. This compares to just 4 per 1,000 in Germany and 31 in the U.S.
“Without condoms we can’t do anything,” Jhonatan Rodriguez, general director at the not-for-profit health group StopVIH, said by phone Jan. 28 from Venezuela’s Margarita Island. “This shortage threatens all the prevention programs we have been working on across the country.”
The condom shortage, caused by a scarcity of dollars among importers, has prices on a website used to find scarce goods soaring and risks aggravating one of South America’s highest HIV infection and teenage pregnancy rates.
Condoms and other contraceptives disappeared from many Venezuelan pharmacies and clinics starting in late December, as the government tightened dollar disbursements amid sliding oil revenue, according to the Venezuelan Pharmaceutical Federation. No condoms were available in 10 eastern and central Caracas pharmacies visited in late January, compared with as many as 20 different kinds available at some locations in November, including Reckitt Benckiser Group plc’s Durex and Church & Dwight Co.’s Trojan brands.
The punchline, and the jarring outcome of ridiculous socialist policies is nothing short of capitalism on steroids:
On the auction website MercadoLibre, used by Venezuelans to obtain scarce goods, a 36-pack of Trojans sells for 4,760 bolivars ($755 at the official exchange rate), close to the country’s minimum monthly wage of 5,600 bolivars. At the unofficial black-market rate used by people with access to dollars, the cost is about $25, compared to $21 in the U.S.
The reason for the surge in prices: a halt in global trade, which means Durex imports to Venezuela have collapsed “because of the political situation the country is going through." It appears that central banks can print everything, and trickle up wealth... everything but the actual lifeblood of a globzlied world: trade.
And the biggest irony is that none other than Maduro promised in 2013 to build a network of condom factories to protect Venezuela’s youth from the effects of “capitalist pornography.”
“When the ears grow hot and nothing can wait, and everything must happen now or the world will end -- that’s when you end up with a tremendous belly at 14 or 15 years of age,” he said in a televised address in June 2013. “This can’t be.”
To get contraceptives in the capital, residents can still go to one of three family-planning centers run by IPPF subsidiary PlaFam, where in late January condoms were sold freely for 3 bolivars a piece.
“This is all there is,” said pharmacist Carlos Hernandez as he handed out the last two condoms available in the dispensary of the University Hospital of Caracas on Jan. 29. “Who knows when we will get more.”
Coming soon to every banana republic near you.
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Maduro accuses Biden of ‘bloody coup’ in Venezuela!
So I could buy several hundred condoms, fly down to Venezuela and make a killing selling sex aids?
<Nothing honey. Just daydreaming.>
When they ask you why you're packing soo many condoms on your "tourist" trip... just tell the immigration officer that you're a sex tourist.
"It's business, not personal."
How much would they pay for ones that were "mildly used" or "pre-enjoyed"?
DoChen should expand into rubber rings.
Imma go down there with three big suitcases full if rubbers Imma be a millionaire!
Venezuela: Screwed without the benefits of intercourse...
Abstinence doesn't cost a penny... (yet anyway). Just say'in...
Just send the Secret Service down there, they always pack a lot of condoms.
Or what about the cling wrap, the plastic wrap we use in the kitchen, I am sure can work with the meat in the bedroom.
Just send the Secret Service
I stand in the presence of brillance.
I am sure can work with the meat in the bedroom.
Would a blindfold and handcuffs be involved in something like that?
a miilionaire in Bolivars.....and by the time you leave..you will be broke again
Can't they just buy online and pay a little extra for international shipping? Doesn't seem to complicated.
Rinse em out, and they are good as new!
Oh right.... they ran out of drinking water too...
But they got plenty of gasoline! La Gasolina!
They use to produce gas.....now they import it.
They could always turn them inside out.
Community condoms.....just leave it on the nightstand for the next person.
'Round these parts, there are two things we don't fuck with: rattlesnakes and condoms! :-D
I had started to write something about a solution to the problem referring to Jennifer Lawrence but decided it was in bad taste.
Market Volatility.
Ooh, ooh, I have an idea!
How about we encourage people to hae sex WITHOUT condoms and like, make babies and stuff.
Who's with me!?
What's with you? At a guess, I'd say that you haven't noticed that Venezuela already has a huge surplus of useless eaters.
why not just get a blow job it would be cheaper
Reminds me of a joke.
What bird brings the baby? The stork, of course.
But what bird keeps the baby away?
Well, that would be the swallow.
Dude i saw that joke on the screen of a Commodore 64...
bbj bitchezzz!
Screw gold. I'm investing in condoms!
There goes double-bagging it.
Guns, ammo, gold, food, water..medicine.....and oh don't forget the condoms
I'm in a committed relationship so how do I explain purchasing these to Mrs. Cog? :-)
<Oh....wait....profiteering, that's the ticket.>
Tell her you enjoy a posh wank and trouser the loot. Sometimes you've got to take it on the chin if you want to get ahead. Like ladies in Venezuela.
They're for your rifle. To keep the dirt and rain out of the barrel. Duh
Reality in Venezuela...........
When the rubber hits the load.
This will never happen here. America is #1, we have the best military, and a world reserve currencey. Every other country looks up to us, we are the only Sueprpower left. America rules the world and always will. Come on over, it's great here guys, plenty of condoms and great American women!
I choked on my brocolli when you said "great American women!"
American women are the best in the world. Curvy, more cushion for the pushing and best of yet, they don't care about money. Very down to earth people. Most of them are very caring and vote for leaders who like social change, really great group thinkers. THe select few who live in the stone age marry conservatives, don't worry not many of them left. Plus they love banging exotic males from other countries. They celebrate diversity.
American women and their big American breasts.
American women and their head drugs and fake titties is what you meant to say.
Oh, you forgot to add, "and then i woke up..."
"great" as in size, e.g. "the great whale in front of me in line at WalMart yakking on her cell phone"
The good news is that we can have a great north american union, the dems have left the border open so we can help these people. We need to be compassionate to everyone.
It is okay, since when do the banksters use condoms on us?
Roughriders, mount up!
Meanwhile, the EU and Japan are desperately seeking inflation. In other news:
Russia's downgrade by Western ratings agencies ‘politicized’ – Dagong bossPolitics played a hand in the decision by Standard & Poor’s, Moody’s, and Fitch Ratings to downgrade Russia’s credit rating, and isn’t an accurate reflection of the country’s economy, says Guan Jianzhong, head of China’s Dagong rating agency.
The so-called ‘Big Three’ rating agencies have all downgraded Russia’s sovereign credit rating. Most recently, S&P cut Russia to ‘BB+’ or ‘junk’ status, which is a sign for investors to stay clear. All three major ratings agencies are headquartered in the United States.
We believe that the downgrades of Russia’s rating by the Big Three rating agencies [Standard & Poor's (S&P), Fitch and Moody's] … are politically motivated," Guan Jianzhong, president of China’s Dagong rating agency said in an interview with TASS on Wednesday.
"I believe, there are no preconditions for these downgrades," Guan added.
Dagong is one of China’s biggest debt-rating companies. It rates Russia’s sovereign credit at ‘A’, a top investment grade with a ‘stable outlook’.
http://rt.com/business/229219-china-russia-rating-politicized/
Just observing
Is this the same company rushing around the warehouses trying to find the collateral on the loans.
Where's Bill Gates when you need him.
Bestiality is always an option,are their any Donkeys in Venezuela?
I don't know, but there is one in the white house.
What does everybody think the Greeks are using nowdays? Hmmmmm...let's see...Greece...Greece...?
We prophylacted some folks.
In days of old when knights were bold
They put a sock over their cock and babies were prevented.
I just posted rubbers on ebay venezuela and the bids are flowing. Easy money people.
How do you mail the condoms to Venezuela?
wow ...out of condoms....gime me a break ...who in Central or South America uses condoms....ever seen the birth rate..dumbass
Looks like they need a Planned Parenthood office. I'm willing to bet the American taxpayers would be willing to fund that.....
Bernankes wet dream.
I can understand the dire straits they find themselves in....Venezuelan women are hot.
Squirt on the tits
I just told my wife to get ready because I'm finally gonna come into big money. No BS this time, Honey.
Whats the price of SaranWrap?
Just use tobacco leaves .... Maduro wrapper !
I friend of mine used Glad plastic wrap in high school. Not recommended.
Just knock on the back door. Problem solved.
Moar anal sex?
I saw Weenie Wrappers at the $store today.
As I've said .... many time before .... anal sex is the only time .... you really need a condom .... used in you .... per my "Thirsty Rectum Theory" !
given the parabolic rise in the cost of college as well as it's vertical trajectory, $755 a pack might be considered a discount
Some enterprising Venezuelan should set up a shop where you can rent them.
Speaking of rubbers and dicks, NBC's Brian Williams admits falsely claiming to have been shot down durring war coverage.
http://www.stripes.com/news/us/nbc-s-brian-williams-recants-iraq-story-a...
His Chinook was forced to land .... in order to cover the story .... of the Chinook that was forced to land .... blah, blah !
His Chinook was forced to land .... in order to report on .... the Chinook that was forced to land .... by enemy RPG fire ?
Venezuela just ran out of suasage casings......hhmmmm, aahhhhhh
In the days of old, when knights were bold,.....ah screw it...
Gold Member... wrap that rascal
Water is wet. Pussy is expensive. Some things never change....
If you can pay in dollars a pack is only four bucks more than in the U.S. and the hookers are ten cents on the dollar. Once they do the math the war mongers are gonna flood the place with tourism! Bullish! Boo-yahoo! Let's roll!
I don't know about the tourists, but I imagine there will be plenty of Secret Service agents spending time there.
"Venezuela Must Deepen Socialism To Improve Economy" is also the equivalent of "The beatings will continue until morale improves"
At least this will spur population growth.
This sounds like some fcktard Harvard MBA consultant's plan to fix Venezuela's demographic problem.
delete
I call "bullshit" on this story..I can book a flight to Caracas,from Las Vegas,for $450..I could load up my duffel bag with 100 pounds of condoms.and be an instant millionaire,as soon as I hit Venezuela..If a dumb shit like me could think of this,what are the odds that nobody in Mexico,or Cuba,or Brazil,isn't thinking of the same thing?
The only problem is after you made all this condemn sales how are you going to swap out the local currency to dollar? It's pretty hard to make any swaps to a usable currency.
Like a sad chapter from Atlas shrugged. Rand wrote the script for what's going on here decades ago.
Rand was an old Russian hag who thought way to highly of herself and has no consequence economically, politically or socially. As for Atlas Shrugged, a piece of shit literature. Awful.
Of course there are condoms available in Venezula. Just not in exchange for bolivars.
Politics and connections as a means of exchanged, leadingto a very poor allocation of resouces, means that politics and connections become the only means of exchange.
Condoms/Birth control should be handed out free to everyone in the world. Running out of toilet paper is one thing but the world seriously doesn't need any more mouths to feed.
An old girlfriend of mine decided to call me after 29 years since we last dated and I decided to buy a new box of condoms because I checked the due date on the few I had left from the old days and they were all expired on the shelf life dates. Suffice to say that on our second date
she came over to my place and we drank a bottle of wine, argued like the old days, and she went home. Two weeks later she sent me an email explaining how I pissed her off too much, and that's why she had not called in the interim. Life lesson # 250426478.2, never buy a new box of condoms unless getting laid is certain and the Probability is at least p=0.98! And if you ever break up with a girlfriend make sure to keep it that way so you don't waste your money on a useless box of condoms unless you are traveling to Venezuela and can flip the box for a profit when demand outpaces supply.
I know there's a professional baiter joke in there somewhere. ;)
The Venezuelan Civil War: Brought to you by Trojan Condoms® "Ride The Walrus!"
I must be missing something how are you going to make a million on a 4 buck price difference, or are you coming home with a suitcase full of bolivars.
You can smuggle free birth pills from Obamacare to Venezuela.
what problem - I write this with my hand
You know you've got problems when Durex decides that "pulling out" is the right strategy.
Especially for a product with such inelasticity of demand.
If you like your condoms, reuse your condoms.
Now you're fucked. Proper fucked that is.
Sounds like Russia in 2016 LOL!
I don't Understand, do we need condoms to have sex?
Stack 'em high and deep.
Meaning TP and rubbers.
Condoms, $755
Pulling out, $0.
Condoms are for suckers.
Planned Parenthood: Use Rear Entry.
Problem solved Venezuelans.
Personally, I think HIV is a good ticket out the Venezuelan hell that socialism has inflicted on the country.
The real fucking shit is the explosion of babies that are going to be born into complete and total shitfuck poverty over the next year.
Sad
Can't wait for people there to get some STDs or unwanted pregnancies and then complain about that because of this. Apparently to many humans the act of not humping is too hard for them to do. Good ol humans showing they truly are nothing but talking apes as a truly intelligent species would just refrain from doing something that has greater risks attached to it now.
I'll bet there are some interesting conversations in the condom line...
"So, what brings you here?"
"Come here often?"
"If we each get our quota of condoms, but then we use them with each other, we'll each still have half of our allotment left...just sayin' "
And what do we think that line is like? Do they play old Barry White albums to try to keep the mood going?
Welcome back , Rhythm Method, as Socialism forces the population back into Catholicism.