Another JPMorgan Banker Dies After Murder-Suicide: Chokes Wife, Stabs Himself To Death

Tyler Durden's picture

By now, there have been so many banker-related suicides that it has become a moot point of i) tracking them all or ii) trying to find a pattern. And yet, one name continues to stand out: JPMorgan. The bank which has been most prominent among the list of "suicided" bankers notched one more casualty over the weekend when "a JPMorgan Chase & Co. employee strangled and stabbed his wife to death before turning the knife on himself, according to police who are treating the couple’s death in Bergen County, New Jersey as a murder-suicide."

Bloomberg reports the gruesome details according to which Michael A. Tabacchi, 27, and his wife, Iran Pars Tabacchi, 41, were found dead Friday about 11:30 p.m. in the bedroom of their Closter home after a 911 call placed by the husband’s father, Bergen County Prosecutor John Molinelli said in an interview. Closter is located in northern New Jersey, about 20 miles (32 kilometers) from midtown Manhattan.

It wasn't a nail-gun this time. It was a knife:

Autopsy results on Sunday showed the wife died of strangulation and a stab wound to the chest while Michael Tabacchi died from a single self-inflicted stab to the chest, he said.

As his LinkedIn profile below shows, Tabacchi was an associate for JPMorgan in its global custody product unit.

This is how he pitched himself:

"Specialties: Excel and VBA is my bread and butter, I am very good and creative with data manipulation and reporting and can leverage my business knowledge to provide senior managers what is needed before asked to do so. I am also proficient with the remaining Microsoft office products (Word, Access, PowerPoint, and SharePoint)."

Full profile below:


But most eerie and disturbing is how comparable the Tabacchi double-death is to a comparable case from July of last year when as we reported not only did a JPM executive director shoot his wife multiple times before using the same weapon on himself (like now), but the tragedy also took place in New Jersey.

As IBTimes reports, Jefferson Township (New Jersey) police report that the Global Network Operations Center Executive Director, "Julian Knott, age 45, shot his wife Alita Knott, age 47, multiple times and then took his own life with the same weapon."

The silver lining: like back then, so now, the offspring of the dead couple survived the massacre.

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Fun Facts's picture

job hazard of rollin' with the bankster zio homies

cifo's picture

Hardly a banker with that set of skills.

Pool Shark's picture



If I had to live in New Jersey, I'd commit suicide too...


[PS: bio sez the guy was good at "data manipulation." Maybe he was just despondent at not getting a job at BLS instead...]




Pladizow's picture

To bad cancer cant also do this!

TruthInSunshine's picture

This is how he pitched himself:

"Specialties: Excel and VBA is my bread and butter, I am very good and creative with data manipulation and reporting."

That's a baseline requirement for any JPM employee, FFS.

BaBaBouy's picture

Give Me A Set Of NUMBERS, And I Can Present Them To You 14 Different Ways, GOOD, Bad Or UGLY.

Latina Lover's picture

Wonderful,  suiciding banksters, change you can believe in.

wee-weed up's picture



Man, he is butt-fugly with a shit-eatin' grin like NEWMAN from Seinfeld.

I wonder what she saw in him?

Not really...

stacking12321's picture

um, he is 27 and she is 41, wtf?

dude, you're doing it wrong.

plus her first name is "iran"?

i just don't know.


aPlayer's picture

He was probably a good person when not screwing the Average Joe from the street. 

Ms. Erable's picture

A knife? WTF? The local Home Depot out of nailguns?

Probably stabbed himself in the back of the head 6 or 7 times.

Citxmech's picture

Who the fuck stabs themselves in the chest?  

ghengis86's picture

Same fucktard that doesn't realize his fat fucking head needs a full Windsor knot and not some tiny piece of shit I tied back in 4th grade. Too stupid to go out with a bang.

Then again, plus 1 for the side boob; it's always a downer when the misses gets it too. What a waste.

Murder to look lie suicide is my vote

Arnold's picture

The guys wearing the red shirts on the away teams always get killed.

 New guy Banking hint: remove all redshirts from wardrobe.

SuperRay's picture

First of all, he can't write for shit.  Just sayin'

Second, why don't we get the details of all these murders.  How the fuck do you stab yourself to death?  They're never investigated, just closed immediately. The heat must come down pretty quickly for all these local law enforcement guys to just give it up.

Thirdly, can whoever is doing this (has to be Beeks!) hang a few of them in public?  that would be fun...

clymer's picture

even at 14 years his senior, she was still dis-proportionately hot for this clown.

Johnny Moscow's picture

That caught my attention too. Men aren't supposed to date older women who can't have kids - and given how bad divorce laws are and how skewed they are in favor of women (or the richer partner) this guy was already playing with fire. 

What the f*ck is a modern-day man in finance getting married for anyway? Especially to a woman who can't conceive? 

kwality's picture

"The couple’s infant son was found unharmed at the house and is staying with the paternal grandparents, Molinelli said."

Tell me, Johnny Moscow, what is it like being a stupid shithead sexist asshole who is not likely to ever "conceive" either, because you are a stupid shithead sexist asshole? 

I imagine it must be awful.  :-(

Johnny Moscow's picture

@ Kwality you gotta be kidding me? Sexist? Please.

The only "Sexists" out there are the misandrist Feminists who constantly put down men and try to attain female superiority over men in the US, UK etc. They have succeeded in the US now that men are approaching 40% of colleage students and make less than women out of school. Factor in divorce rape and the virulently anti-male laws out there and marriage, indeed work in the corpate space, is increasingly a bad deal for men.

What are you doing on this site trying to shame someone with lame prog-speak like sexist - LOL!! Love you u use insulting words instead of logic and reason as an argument - typical lefty prog fool

Bush Baby's picture

Imagine the fucking rage this guy unleashed after snapping and plunging that knife into her and then literally choking the life out of her...  he must of had a really bad day.

DetectiveStern's picture

He worked in custody. All he does is look after clients admin. He was a bottom feeder with no access to the interesting stuff.

Bastiat's picture

Yeah, like assets missing from custody?

NoVa's picture

the guy is 27 years old with 11 years of work experience on his resume - ?

When I was 16, i wuz working the car wash!

Urban Redneck's picture

But it's also a baseline requirement to be more discrete and oblique when referring to those skills (or at least used to be).  That shit would have gotten me fired.  Then again - he never got above "Associate" which is no different from his previous "Analcyst" position at JPM  (after an obscene amount of time with the company).

Sokhmate's picture



"Specialties: Excel and VBA is my bread and butter, I am very good and creative with data manipulation and reporting."

ParkAveFlasher's picture

That was my HS that he graduated from.  We put a lot of alumni in to banking industry.  Wife looks like a gold-digging piece of ass, if I was 65 or 70.  I call real deal although self-stabbing is a bit far.  My rationale is, if he's out of Closter, he's not FAMIGLIA.  Closter aspires to be Harrington Park or Alpine or Norwood, but is none of those. 

J S Bach's picture

I know that the ancient Samurai killed themselves using the Hara-kiri ritual, but really... how many people are going to "commit suicide" by stabbing themselves once in the heart?  It's not the most reliable nor painless method.  This was yet another murder made to look (to the easily duped) like a suicide.  The mystery is in the "why"... not the "who".

ParkAveFlasher's picture

Well, Sherlock, I'm pretty sure he came across some "special" information in his database noodlings.

mvsjcl's picture

Perhaps wanted to sell that information, or was at risk of disclosing it. It's assumed that he already told his wife.

new game's picture

drugs dude, drugs. guaranteed drugged heavily. didn't hardly feel a thing, maybe even a blackout. thankfully he got the job done on himself. imagine coming to, in jail,

and being told what happened and not being able to kill yourself...

new game's picture

obviously he was NOT A SOCIOPATH.

XitSam's picture

I know of a murder-suicide at Ft Hood in 85.  Guy killed his wife and then stabbed himself in the heart. Witnesses: the family the wife was staying with. Left behind: daughter, about 5 yo as I recall.

Steaming_Wookie_Doo's picture

I could maybe allow for a miliary man going out like that. But this fat little piece of cheese doesn't look like he's got the balls to squish a spider. Only way I could think would be that he was *really* high on coke/amphetamines, as it takes a lot of strength to strangle/stab someone, let alone go at yourself. Hell, whatever happened to the Judy Garland cocktails? This apparently is a "little fish" but as someone else above mentioned, he probably saw something he shouldn't. I'm betting "murder, meant to look like suicide". 

XitSam's picture

Guy's wife was the one in the Army, not him. He was a little guy. Not saying anything about this, just that it can happen.

Bastiat's picture

It is absolutely reliable . . . if you know where your heart is. 

Bob's picture

Agreed.  Makes me wonder if he was set onto it by a good "consultant," contracted on the theory that once he'd shown his seriousness by killing his wife, the "consultant" (an expert in stabbing technology) would then stab him in a surgically astute manner that he would actually survive from.  Then he'd call 911, claim that a black guy had broken in, stabbed them both, and made away without detection.  The usual story.  Our bankster would then collect her life insurance and own the entire marital estate. 

Too bad things didn't work out . . . before his last breath he realized, for a fleeting instant, that JPM had paid the professional "consultant" a whole lot more than he did. 

August's picture

During my years in Seattle, I hung out at the King County Medical Examiner's office quite a bit, and attended most of their death investigation conferences.

I saw virtually every known mode of homicide, but no one ever killed himself with a knife to the chest.

angel_of_joy's picture

... no one ever killed himself with a knife to the chest

Well, it's a new trend. Anything goes as long as it makes people talking about you for at least 15 minutes... Remember the nail gun ?

Tsunami Wave's picture

Let's just say I know someone, who used to know him from earlier years in grade school.  He doesn't know what happened to him, he thought it was completely random it happened.  I wish I knew more.. he knew him in Catholic grade school formerly.

Captain Kink's picture

Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves.  The guy and his wife are dead.  Either he did take his own life, for god know's what reason, and chose to kill his wife also, or he died at the hands of someone who wanted him silenced.  In either case, we should not be judging him, muchless making jokes at his expense.  RIP.

angel_of_joy's picture

I'm not ! Ever heard of karma ?

Antifaschistische's picture

okay...I get it...but this is ZH, it's not a "we're sorry for your loss" Hallmark card to his mother.   So, I'm appreciating the wit, and figuring....his family isn't coming to ZH for comforting thoughts.

mvsjcl's picture

Yeah, Capt. We know who really should be ashamed of themselves, and it ain't us poor truth-searching bastards.

disabledvet's picture

"Dead (kids) tell no tales."


Maybe the police wanna get out ahead of these things.  "If you don't know you don't know."

Rubbish's picture

Does it count that I looked at her cleavage?


Gold Bitchez...I pick up pennies

SuperRay's picture

Hey captain, shove it up your ass.  These fucks have destroyed more lives that your simple mind can even comprehend.  You want to be respectful? Show your respect for the retired single women who haven't seen an increase in their social security or interest on their savings in years, while these fucks keep living it up like they've earned it.  Go fuck yourself, you stupid douche

Arnold's picture

It's good to see Flounder had a good life and some sucess after college.

Obchelli's picture

Yes but average price of house in Alpine-Closter area is 2 mln $ and not mongolian tugriks so I do not knbow how somebody with that skillset could afford this unless parents gave money. Knowing excel? Really - I didn't know that qualifies for Banker these days

sleigher's picture

Much less Office...  Where I come from, adding that to a resume might be suspect.  Those "office" skills are mostly assumed...

knukles's picture

Stabs himself to death.
Y'all gotta be kiddin' me.