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The New-Normal Down-Under
If you thought the utter insanity of the new-normal's central-planner-driven "bad news is great news" inflate-a-thon was reserved for The Fed, think again... This week Australia has had the dubious honour of seeing a huge 'surprise' surge in its unemployment rate to a 13-year high at 6.4% (from 6.1%) - which was largely ignored by the cognoscenti as anomalous data, but really just shows the utter farce that seasonal adjustments have become on government data. Tonight something else happened... the Australian stock market has soared 11% in the last 2 weeks to its highest sincee May 2008.
Welcome to the farcical world of modern finance...
Charts: Bloomberg
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And we've still got the most expensive housing in the world!!!
So in your face the rest of the world!!!
(What can possibly go wrong???)
Fucken nuthen mate.
Get fuggen Traceey Greemshor chick out there and get her ta do a fucken thing on the fucken jobs shit, and then fucken Johnny will fix it all.
Where's me fuggen doll check? I gotta pay me child support...
Finance is dead....this is voodoo
Heavy Voodoo-international voodoo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K35UHQaBtp0
I Figured out what you did wrong. Flip the "inverse unemployment rate" and the green and red lines are back in sync! Problem solved!
commodities will go down > aust employment will go down > aust stock market will go down > aust house prices will go down ... tick tock, tick tock...
dominoes.
It's the lucky country, #1 industry is tourism, #2 is mining. When the AUD is high mining booms, when the AUD is low tourism booms
Sorry to correct you, but I used to write market reports everyday. Australia's #1 industry is mining, and our #2 sector is education - thank all those full fee paying international uni students.
Interest only loans,40 year mortgages,negative gearing on investment properties and selling out to dodgy Chinese what can possibly go wrong?
I had to laugh or i'd cry last night. Channel 9 news does it again.
"unemployment rate now higher than USA"
WTF!?!?!? Here in Oz, you can be on the dole for 100 years and are still counted as unemployed vs USA:benefits run out therefore no longer unemployed.
Even if you are disqualified from the dole here, you are still counted as unemployed.
The news speaks newspeak once again. What a surprise.
We have something similar here. One can actually be dead here and still collect benefits.
And of course the "dearly departed" can still vote, multiple times in fact, without ever showing an ID like they're forced to do at say, a liquor store or a bank or nightclub, before trundling on back to the crypt for a couple years nap.
Its like the zombie apocalypse or sumpin ;-)
Bad job numbers are good for stocks now.
So the government agencies better get with it and make the numbers really bad.
The worse the numbers are the higher they take the market.
No problems. We'll just get the congress critters to remove that embargo on kangaroo products.
As my Ozzie friends say, "a lit'l roo meat neveh hut no one, Mate."
Have you actually ate the shit Kaiser,give me a good Angus T Bone anyday man.
Wadda ya gonna do with your money? Hire somebody? Please.
Anyone who believes ANYTHING government says has to be fucking delusional.
Especially our dickhead PM.
When you have a CUNT like Tony Abbott as Commander-In-Chief it's NO surprise that the once tell/call it as it is Aussies have their heads up their Asses just like their former colonial masters the English.
The RBA is as corrupt as the BOE, even more so.
Abbott's head is so far up Barry's arse it's pitiful.
All this said i'm surprised that the Aussie Sheeples are drinking the kool aid on a par with Cameron's English army.
Did i leave any Asses out? Oh yeah i'm a bit of an Ass myself but well aware of that.
Ya fucken did... ya cunt:
- All employees of the private entities masquerading as Local Councils.
- Every sitting member of Parliament, Upper and Lower House, State and Federal Governments, Commonwealth of Australia.
- Baz, Daz, Gaz, Shaz and Maz.
Like everything else they've gone mad on the promise of more cheap money.
The governor of the reserve bank is an idiot. Keeps slashing rates without any tools to curb property investors who've gone beserk with cheap money bidding up house prices.
0 down and on interest only terms as far as the eye can see.
Best he can say is "we're monitoring the situation".
Interest-only loans are the best thing since sliced bread if you ask any of the "property moguls" that litter every office of every company in Australia. Combine this with these property moguls using their Self-Managed Superannuation funds (similar to a 401K) to purchase more investment properties. This is generally done on the basis that prices won't ever decline in a particular asset class - to wit, Residential Real Estate.
I can only imagine the pain people are going to feel as the unemployment rate goes up while mining goes down, and vast swathes of freshly built "estates" housing people who work in a capacity linked to mining are put up for sale below what they originally cost, because people no longer have $100K+ wages.
Check all the indexes. They are all up in the last 2 weeks. Why, when world GDP is declining. The Federal Reserve's around the globe have become the Global and well organized and synchronized Mafia.
Crikey on a stick, mate! Need to throw some seppo pimp on the barbie and quaff some Foster Brooks before the economy's dryer than a dead dingo's donger and we're cactus!
If they fire everyone will they reach infinity, or beyond!?
Just think .. if everybody just buys it will never come down....under!
The logic is simple, as long as you understand that Australia doesnt actually produce much for the world which adds much value (just serves tourists and digs stuff up and ships it offshore). As the economy gets worse, interest rates go down, so Australians borrow more to speculate in real estate, since that is the supposed path to riches. Banks are happy because real estate loans in Australia are full recourse, rather than asset recourse like in the US ( and as an added bonus, banks will give you a credit card on which they can charge you 20% or so whilst benefitting from an "all-moneys' security - so effectively the credit card outstanding is real estate secured - who said bankers arent smart?). Even better still, the Tax Office lets you deduct income losses on your real estate investment against other income. Ever betterer stillerer, the Tax Office lets you only acccount for 50% of your capital gain. Even bettererer stillererer, the levels of bureaucracy make adequate real estate supply an optional extra, depanding on who's zooming whom. No one actually wants to work and make stuff (it's too fuckin' hot mate, and did you know that the Guvmnt has got this great new beneift scheme?) and banks are not fans of the complicated 'risk' strategy (very happy with the business risk, Sir, so long it is fully secured by real estate) - better to clip the ticket as a money manager. As for investment management - that's also simple - you get up in the morning, see what the US market has done; do the same with a bit of tinkering; and bugger off for lunch. Real economy is fucked; stock prices are up; housing prices are up; eveyone's happy (except maybe the people without a money mangement job, e.g. unemployed people who we've heard about somewhere) but whatever - the wife is planning next years ski vacation - I think Aspen again - you run into such nice people.
Yeah, and that would be the banks who are only open from 9:30 to 3:00 Mon to Fri, and who charge such obscene fees to businesses who use their credit cards that the buyer has to pay a fee to the business to pay with a credit card.
......and the Fund Manager gig is even better - if he/she bets right, it's a genius "alpha' generator; if not, its an "unavoidable loss due to being an integral part of the global economy" . Peer comparison / switching?? - refer above "It's too fuckin hot mate"
You did miss the bit where we're intentionally selling the farm(s) to China and the US, ensuring that any food security we might have had, has well and truly been sold off.
I will say though - I don't know of many people that have anything that could be considered capital, or have made any gains in said capital. Although I do have a friend who says his Sydney apartment, that he bought for $430K two years ago is now "worth" $500K. I tell him to sell it, but he's not even going to break even, when you factory in stamp duty, interest paid, remaining principle, real estate agents commission etc.
Edit: With respect to it being too hot. We live on a desert island, and we KNOW it's hot, but we continue to dress like the English and bitch about it being uncomfortable. Then we run our air-con 24/7 in our ridiculously poorly designed houses (tiled roofs with dark colours and brick veneer - WTF?!?) and complain about power bills.
Selling off the farm - yep. Again, either property speculation or banker foreclosure.
My job is helping losers lose. Its kind of like managing money, except we encourage people to manage their own money with leverage and we take the other side. can't find a winner no matter how hard I try.
Oh and fuck you Abbott
Actually I want to fuck Abbott's daughters, start with interior designer one thats smart because she got a merit scolarship to a private college, not because her dad is PM.
dont care who is in power as long as its not Abbott or that whiney mincing poodle with the curly hair and falsetto voice.
Amazing performance by the ASX 200, an all time record 12 straight days up, then 4 down, and a big 2 percent plus move today. All of which has driven the market up plus 10 percent. Who could have picked it 3 weeks ago? Very strange. Everyone was talking about rate cuts in Australia late last year, so why the sudden run up? It's like all the fund managers came back from holidays and decided to go on a spending spree. I'd give anything to know why the market suddenly took off 3 weeks ago after treading water for 2 years.